Posted tagged ‘dolly parton jokes’

Rainbow falls.

July 25, 2011

Apparently Niagara Falls was lit up with rainbow colors today, for all the marriages.

But meanwhile, in New York City, the first couple married under the state’s new same-sex marriage laws were Phyllis Siegal, 77, and Connie Kopelov, 85, two women who have been together for 23 years. So can any conservative say with a straight face how that ceremony threatens any heterosexual marriage?

So let’s see, the GOP wants to reduce unwanted pregnancies and abortions, and also cut the number of familes with children on welfare. Hmm…maybe the best way to do this is to encourage poor people to enter into gay marriages.

Jay Cutler has called off his engagement to Kristin Cavallari. Apparently blindsiding his ex-fiancee, but not Bears fans. Who already that knew that you couldn’t count on Cutler to go all the way when it mattered.

The latest rumor is that as a backup to Michael Vick, the Philadelphia Eagles might sign Brett Favre? Is this the only way Favre can assure that for at least some fans he’ll won’t be the number one target of boos on the field?

(And of course the same might be said for Michael Vick approving Favre as his backup.)

If you crossed Brett Favre with Sarah Palin would you end up with someone who actually knew when to quit?

Qatarian Mohamed bin Hammam vowed to overturn his bribery conviction and lifetime ban from soccer on Sunday. He said he will go to the FIFA appeals court, or to CAS (Court of Arbiration for Sport) or even the civil courts in Switzerland. Just as soon as he figures out which of those will overturn his conviction for the lowest price.

Knuckleballer Tim Wakefield Sunday joined Roger Clemens as the only pitchers to strike out 2,000 batters with Boston. Very impressive. And can you imagine if Wakefield had only taken steroids? His fastball might have broken 70.

Sunday night in the San Francisco Bay Area there were competing concerts between the Indigo Girls and Dolly Parton. Fans were divided over which is the best duet.

Glee co-creator Ryan Murphy had said that Rachel, Kurt and Finn would graduate at the end of season three. But apparently at Comic-con this weekend in San Diego, the series’ other co-creator Brad Fulchuk said  stars Lea Michele, Chris Colfer, and Cory Monteith will return for season 4.

Which means one of two things. Either the three will indeed graduate, and come back as visitors from their colleges, or the writers will figure out ways to turn them into honorary football players.

Quote of the day – but from a facebook friend, but from a  Thomas Love Peacock, friend of the 19th century poet Percy Shelley: “There are two reasons for drinking wine…when you are thirsty, to cure it; the other, when you are not thirsty, to prevent it… prevention is better than cure.”

And shocking quote of the week on an Irish report on clerical sex child sex abuse: -it exposed “the dysfunction, disconnection, elitism and narcissism that dominate the culture of the Vatican to this day. The rape and torture of children were downplayed or ‘managed’ to uphold instead, the primacy of the institution, its power, standing and ‘reputation.'” The real shocker- the quote is from Irish PM Enda Kinney.