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Star powered?

February 28, 2018

49ers say they haven’t decided what if anything to do about Reuben Foster’s arrest for domestic violence, and GM John Lynch denied the San Francisco LB was being treated differently because he’s a star.  I think I like “pushed into a lifeboat” better.

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Now it’s LaMarcus Aldridge who’s hurt,  with Kawhi Leonard still out,  Pau Gasol sidelined with a bone bruise, and Danny Green barely back from bursitis.  The San Antonio Spurs aren’t just a  basketball team, they’re a season of Survivor.

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Bears to release QB Mike Glennon. How long until Chicago fans look back nostalgically to the days of Jay Cutler?

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That moment when Dick’s Sporting Goods is more pro-active about gun safety than Congress…

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Hope Hicks is resigning. Wonder why. Doesn’t every boss ask you to tell white lies and hide the fact that your boyfriend beat his ex’s?

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Good on Walmart to change their gun policy. But remember, they are only doing it so they won’t lose business to Dick’s Sporting Goods. @Dicks

 

Remember those days when “Fast and Furious” referred to a series of action films instead of new revelations coming out about this White House.

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Are we sure @realDonaldTrump doesn’t think “Dew Process” is one of his porn star mistresses’ names?

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Remember when there were so many shootings by USPS workers that we used to say “going postal?” But sure if we arm over-worked, under-paid and over-stressed teachers that would NEVER happen. #sarcasm

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Feel like I should go to Dick’s Sporting Goods if the store actually sold anything I wanted to buy. Maybe they can start stocking cookies?

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As long as I am the attorney general, I will continue to discharge my duties with integrity and honor & this department will continue to do its work in a fair & impartial manner according to the law and Constitution” To quote Will Farrell in one of the best Christmas movies ever  -“He’s an ANGRY elf.” #Sessions

So now that we’ve arrested a Georgia teacher fired a gun inside a classroom, what’s next? Arming janitors? Lunch ladies?

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So who had Hope Hicks in Trump Resignation Bingo?

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At this point it might be easier to compile a list of top Trump aides who haven’t resigned.

(my friend pat says ” This will be more fun than filling out the March madness brackets… and less corrupt.”)

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Thinking back longingly to days when we comedy writers really had to struggle to make jokes with Obama in the White House.

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But okay,  Trevor Noah and Samantha Bee, top this for satire – Donald Trump today: “I’m not into popularity.”

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Too many hits?

February 25, 2018

If Donald  Trump had played college football we’d all be nodding our heads in agreement on a diagnosis of CTE.

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With the increasingly depleted Spurs somehow still in third place in the West, Gregg Popovich should be coach of year. Period.   #smokeandmirrors

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Shaquille O’Neal’s son, Shareef, just announced he is decommitting from Arizona. Because he just found out the program is dirty, or because they didn’t offer HIM $100,000?

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Curt Schilling retweeted a conspiracy theory saying 17 yr-old Parkland survivor David Hogg is a paid crisis actor. Only charitable interpretation of this is that baseball players also can get too many concussions.

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Teresa Stadlober, an Austrian cross-country skier, lost a silver medal when she took a wrong turn during a 30km race. Wait, I thought it was men that wouldn’t ask for directions.

 

 

LeBron James, complaining about not getting foul calls in loss to Spurs – “We’re at a point now where we protect the shooter more than the driver.”
Maybe he should stick to politics?

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Canadian ski crosser David Duncan, along with his trainer and wife were arrested for alleged DUI in a stolen vehicle in South Korea. Know Canada is doing well with medals but maybe trying too hard to prove they are equal of American athletes.

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Meanwhile,  USA has won gold in #Curling Let’s hope this isn’t a sign of the apocalypse.

 

Pistons coach Stan Van Gundy called NCAA “one of the worst organizations” in sports. Why stop at “in sports?”

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Trump on his proposed military parade “We’ll see if we can do it at a reasonable cost. If we can’t, we won’t do it.”
What, he didn’t say Mexico would pay for it?

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United Airlines and Delta have now cut off discounts for #NRA. How bad is it when you have a worse reputation in the US than airlines?

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Donald Trump mocked John McCain yesterday. So let’s see, now it’s people with terminal cancer. How long until he goes directly after a Parkland survivor?

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Imagine GOP reaction if a President @HillaryClinton sent Chelsea over to South Korea to “shore up diplomatic relations?”

 

Asked in Korea if her father’s idea of arming teachers would work to protect students Ivanka Trump responded “To be honest, I don’t know.”
Six words Donald has never spoken.

 

Frustrating as a Democrat that we call out extremist Republicans like #CPACbut then often put in our own litmus tests that punish moderates.  #DianneFeinstein

 

But let’s be real about Feinstein. Democrats not endorsing her means simply that she didn’t get a majority of 2700 activists at state party convention. The Democratic convention isn’t CPAC, but it’s also not a sampling of mainstream Democrats.

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Here’s what I really don’t get about political litmus tests. None of us agree with our spouses, partners, or even friends on all issues. So why do some of us demand our politicians agree with us on everything? #HowToLoseElections

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Gold and goaled.

February 22, 2018

Kawhi Leonard may be out for year. Damn, as a liberal Spurs fan I miss days when that would be most depressing news of the week.

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Although if Spurs end up 3rd seed in West without Kawhi, Popovich should be a unanimous coach of the year.

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Don’t care who wins, shootouts are still a sucky way to determine a hockey gold medal.

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But seriously, these women have worked for years to make it to Olympics.   For a gold medal they can’t let them play until someone scores a REAL goal in overtime?

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Mikaela Shiffrin brought 35 pairs of skis to Olympics.  Ah, but how many pairs of shoes did she bring?

 

Billy Graham prayed with every President since Truman during their presidency. Except Donald Trump. Why I am not surprised?

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That moment when the President of the United States needs a cue card to pretend to be human…

 

At least Marco Rubio did the CNN Town Hall without cue cards.

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The kids are more than alright. The kids are damn impressive. #ParklandStudentsSpeak

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So would Right-wing trolls please explain how they think high school kids aren’t old enough to advocate for gun control but they are old enough to buy AR-15s?

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Florence Yared, 17 yr-old Parkland survivor to Congress “Soon we will be able to vote, and we will vote you out.” You go girl!

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Trump today “If you had a teacher who was adept with firearms, they could end the attack very quickly.” Could those armed teachers start with the attack on the education budget?

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So maybe we can take a lead from Betsy Devos and protect schools with trained grizzly bears? #Beararms

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NRA’s Dana Loesch says you should be able to buy any gun you want “if you are not a danger to yourself or your community.” The Vegas shooter didn’t seem like a danger. Until he was….

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Marco Rubio has 2 teenage & 2 pre-teen children. Yeah, I’m an optimist but it seems like maybe these kids got to him tonight. #StudentsStandUp

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While Texas superintendent threatens to suspend students from class 3 days for protesting gun violence, kids in Parkland have missed 5+ days of class because their school is an active crime scene.

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Donald Trump wants teachers to bravely take on shooters in schools….while he’s not even brave enough to take on media at press conferences

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Golden heat

February 19, 2018

Damn, those of us Americans already jealous of Canada for Justin Trudeau have now added Virtue and Moir to the list.

 

Sorry, ABC viewers tonight. #VirtueAndMoir are so much sexier than ANY episode of #TheBachelor

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So wonder how many men joined their wives and girlfriends tonight watching ice dancing in hopes of another wardrobe malfunction?

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Canadian & German bobsledders are either great sports or have really good looking sisters. #Gold #Olympics  (they tied.)

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MLB is going to limit mound visits to 6 per game, by managers, coaches & players combined, without a pitching change. The horror – how will a team discuss wedding presents? #Candlesticksalwaysmakeanicegift

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Last night at NBA All Star game, Roseanne Barr saw her torch for all time worst National Anthem grabbed off the floor by Fergie.

 

Russia, or rather OAR  could lose a bronze medal over alleged doping in… men’s curling. So what will be Alexander Krushelnytsky’s excuse – “chicks dig the long rock?”

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GM Sandy Alderson says he thinks Tim Tebow will “play in the major leagues” someday. Or at least he’ll play for the Mets?

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Sunday was #NationalDrinkWineDay Although since Trump’s inauguration, for many Americans EVERY day has been #NationalDrinkWineDay

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School shooting survivors Emma Gonzalez & David Hogg said today they aren’t attending Trump’s “listening session” this week. That moment when kids have more courage of their convictions than the GOP congress.

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On #PresidentsDay not sure there is anything more damning for our current @POTUS that he thinks grinning “thumbs up” picture after a high school massacre is not only appropriate but should be his Twitter picture.

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I think more teachers would consider being armed if they were allowed to bring their weapons to contract negotiations.

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So now Trump position is that Russia didn’t meddle in 2016 and it was Obama’s fault anyway.

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That moment when POTUS asks his wealthy friends about gun control at Mar-A-Lago, where they are all protected by an armed Secret Service….

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Is it too much to ask for a President who respects the FBI and CIA half as much as he respects the NRA?

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Trump just endorsed Mitt Romney. Apparently he’s so desperate to be on the winning side expect POTUS to endorse Golden State Warriors next.

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and about 45 minutes later, this tweet from Mitt “Thank you Mr. President for the support. I hope that over the course of the campaign I also earn the support and endorsement of the people of Utah.”

So who had “less than an hour” in the “How long would it take Mitt Romney to sell his soul?” pool.

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Whatever you think about @BillClinton, he had friends and associates who remained loyal, even going to jail for him. Just guessing no one will fall on their sword for @realDonaldTrump

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Red and gold

February 13, 2018

Wait a minute, how did  Shaun White get to be 31 years old?

 

I didn’t know they allowed snowboarders to be over 30.

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Hope the winds die down in Korea so they can get the skiing events started before the spring thaw.

 

NCAA denied Notre Dame’s appeal and so the football team must vacate wins from 2012-13 over students doing homework and assignments for players.  Not a Fighting Irish fan but looking at say,  UNC, clearly Notre Dame’s mistake was having players enroll in real classes.

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Some of Phoenix Suns felt it was disrespectful for Steve Kerr to let Warriors players coach the team in Golden State’s 129-83 win last night.   So Kerr  should have done like Gregg Popovich did, coaching 3 quarters and then letting an assistant coach coach the 4th quarter?  The shorthanded Spurs beat the Suns by 48.

 

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Does every guy’s lawyer pay porn stars $130,000 out of their own pockets? Asking as a confused woman.

 

Michael Cohen  “Neither “Trump Organization nor Trump campaign was a party to transaction w/ Ms. Clifford & neither reimbursed me for payment.”

Cohen didn’t say Donald Trump didn’t pay him.

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FBI Director Wray testified today White House was warned about Rob Porter in Mar, Jul, Nov 2017 & again this month. Does this move Wray to top in Trump firing pool?

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Amazing how same GOP that promotes “steak & lobster on taxpayer dime” myth for food stamp recipients has no problem with flying first class on taxpayer dime.

So are #SNAP boxes Trump proposes of processed foods really just a way to make sure more poor people don’t live to collect social security & Medicare?

 

Among Trump’s first 87 judicial nominees, 80 are white. Shocking! How did those 7 slip through.

Rob Porter said glass vase that allegedly blackened his ex-wife’s eye was Venetian. So not American. Deport the vase!

 

Bristol Palin and Dakota Meyer have separated. Darn I miss the days when Palins were the most hypocritical outrageous family in politics. #Familyvalues

 

It’s actually pretty simple, only people who say they don’t believe Russia was meddling in 2016 elections, are people Russia was meddling on behalf of.

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Triple-axled?

February 11, 2018

So if a skater can fall twice & still have a higher score than Adam Rippon, I don’t want to hear anymore about how baseball rules are absurd.

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But nothing says skating for Russia like Elvis? #Olympics

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Does it mean I’m getting old when I think medals for the luge should have Darwin’s picture on them? #WinterOlympics #ChrisMazdzer

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Jamie Anderson gets gold for America in slopestyle. Millions of Americans “USA!. USA! USA!. What’s ‘slopestyle'”?

So after being arrested last month for marijuana possession, #49ers#ReubenFoster has now been arrested for alleged domestic violence. Guessing on this one we won’t hear Trump talk about due process.

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So I know Pence can’t have dinner alone with women. But does Mother let him have dinner with gay men?

What Torvill and Dean did for Bolero, Virtue and Moir just did for #MoulinRouge#Olympics #Canada

 

Norwegians switched red for blue uniforms in speed skating this #Olympicsafter Norwegian scientists claimed “blue is faster than other colors.” And they say baseball players are superstitious.

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Rand Paul on domestic violence “I’m not saying that I’m denying what these women are saying. I’m just saying that these things are very, very complicated.” Can’t imagine how Paul could have provoked his neighbor to attack him.#complicated?

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Senator Bob Corker apparently reconsidering retirement. Who does he think he is, Brett Favre?

 

Over 4,000 Americans died last week from flu & associated pneumonia – 1 in 10 deaths in this country. Good thing Trump just signed a bill to cut $1.35 billion from the CDC Prevention & Public Health Fund.

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As the #RobPorter scandal continues, Fox News has online headline about “Monica, Linda Tripp and the scandalous days leading up to Clinton’s deposition.” #WTF

 

So Kellyanne Conway isn’t worried about Hope Hicks dating Rob Porter because Hope is “strong.” Building that bridge to the 19th century?

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Kellyanne Conway say Trump is still “inclined” to release Democratic memo. Right, he’ll make it a two-fer on the day he releases his tax returns.

 

So what is @realDonaldTrump going to do if some woman accuses both a Democrat AND a Republican man of sexual misconduct?

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A question of degrees.

February 10, 2018

 

Jimmy Garoppolo, saying how happy he is to be in SF “It is 75 degrees out here, it’s not a snow storm like in Chicago. It’s a lot better here. So, I wanted to be here.”
Wonder what he’d say if he’d been traded to Green Bay?

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Weather now in PyeongChang, 34 degrees.   Or as Minnesotans call that – summer.

 

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The new-look Cavaliers survived the 17-39 Atlanta Hawks.  Over-under on how long it will take drama in Cleveland to resurface?

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Sort of seems silly that basketball is not a Winter Olympics sport.  In the meantime, fans of amateur basketball will just have to settle for the Hawks or Mavericks.

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I’m so old I can remember times on train when younger people could talk to each other without literally using #hashtag as part of a sentence.

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Have to wonder, what would Trump do, if an NFL player who knelt for the National Anthem was also accused by a woman of domestic violence?

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Multiple allegations of domestic abuse weren’t enough to get Porter fired from WH. But had he said something negative against Trump, Rob would have been gone in 15 minutes.

 

Right about now joining Trump White House has to have as much long-term career security as accepting an offer from Sears.

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Don’t see the problem; if WH staff really wants Trumpto pay attention to intelligence briefing have it read out loud on Fox and Friends.

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Since Trump says all 19 women who accused HIM were liars, we shouldn’t be surprised he’s dismissive of several women with Roy Moore & 3 with Rob Porter.

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At this point as @realDonaldTrump blocks release of Democratic memo it really is the equivalent of shooting someone on 5th Ave. He doesn’t think his base will care.

 

Before Trump blocked Democratic memo, he said “It’s gonna be released soon.” Right, after he releases his tax returns.

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Joshie, we hardly knew ye…

February 7, 2018

 

Josh McDaniels agreed to become Colts head coach, then told them, sorry, he decided to stay with Patriots. Well, this ought to make New England even more beloved by fans outside Massachusetts.

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Well, at least #Colts were undefeated in the Josh McDaniels era.

 

This is the inaugural Olympics mixed doubles  curling competition, and Canada opened with a loss.  The horror.   Hope they can show their faces at home.

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Russell Wilson was traded to the Yankees. Was Derek Jeter somehow involved?

 

A Japanese study says a chemical in McDonald’s french fries may cure baldness. So supersize that standing DC order from 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.

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An Eagles fan was seen at MSP Airport with a stolen purple seat from U.S Bank Stadium. To be fair, at #SuperBowl ticket prices, he probably thought he had paid for it

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Federal law prohibits many men with active restraining orders from even buying a gun…. but they can work in the White House? #RobPorter #WTF?

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Cornell frat is on probation for a “pig roast” sex contest – points given for sleeping with women & a bonus for having sex with woman who weighed the most. Sometimes it IS hard to believe in evolution.

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Scary thing, despite allegations from 2 ex-wives & 1 ex-girlfriend, if that black eye picture hadn’t surfaced, GOP would all still be rallied around Rob Porter.

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If OJ Simpson would just make a statement supporting @realDonaldTrump, pretty sure @POTUS would find him a White House position.

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So when military men & women start coming out against Trump’s parade how long will it take for #CadetBoneSpurs to call them treasonous?

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So GOP attacked Hillary and then Huma Abedin over their philandering husbands. I guess it would have been okay if Bill and Weiner just beat their wives instead?

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So Justin  Trudeau apologizes for making a “dumb joke that has gone viral” when he corrected “mankind” to peoplekind.”  Donald Trump still hasn’t apologized for “jokingly” referring to Democrats as “treasonous.”

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Yesterday a court ordered @POTUS to pay $25 million to students he defrauded with Trump University, and it wasn’t even a top headline for 24 hours. #thenewabnormal

 

So what if we make a deal with @RealDonaldTrump? He resigns and we give him the bigliest parade ever!

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Can’t win them all

February 5, 2018

Super Bowl LII was watched by 103.4 million Americans, the lowest number since 2009. How much of that was fact NY is biggest media market, and New Yorkers hated both teams?

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If NFL wants better ratings one suggestion is to make the “catch” rule at least as understandable as the balk rule.

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Vince Lombardi trophy last night “”On the whole, I’d rather be in Philadelphia.”

 

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Meanwhile did the Dow take a knee Monday for Trump?

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Eagles  as a team are not Trump pals nor fans. Wonder how long it will take POTUS to declare that Patriots won the Super Bowl electoral college?

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Gisele to her kids “Daddy won five times. They never won before. Their whole life, they never won a Super Bowl. You have to let someone else win sometimes.” So nice of Patriots to “let” Eagles win…

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Tom Brady “Losing sucks.” And in Cleveland they’re stampeding for the violins.

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Good news for Philadelphia police. City may have gone over-the-top on their Super Bowl celebration. But there’s no chance of another anytime soon with the 76ers or Phillies.

 

If Pepsi wanted to introduce “Quiet Doritos”, for theater or other times when eating in public, guessing they might have a thing.    But who the bleep came up with idea of “Lady Doritos?”

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Is the recommended beverage for Lady Doritos a can of New Coke?

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The President of the United States now calling opposition party “un-American” & “treasonous.” Even by banana republic dictator standards that’s pretty over the top.

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So were Republicans who didn’t stand or applaud during Obama’s SOTU also “treasonous?” Asking for a country.

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Give Trump credit – Bigliest one-day drop in the stock market ever.

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Trump calls Devin Nunes a man of “tremendous courage and grit.” I think I like Lindsay Graham’s calling Nunes “Inspector Clouseau” better.

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    Really? It took  Trump all weekend to think of that name?

 

Adam Schiff “It may be time for General Kelly to give the President a time out,” How silly. We know Trump isn’t a toddler. Because toddlers are capable of learning.

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Bowl’ed over

February 4, 2018

Happy Super Bowl Sunday.  Along with 4/20 the favorite American day for the makers of Doritos.

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Best Super Bowl commercial should remind millennials. or inform them if they haven’t seen it,  that #DirtyDancing was one of best movies of all time.

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Dodge Ram Super Bowl commercials makes many of us long for the simpler days when Martin Luther King, Jr, was only used on his birthday to sell mattresses.

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On the bright side, kids in Africa are going to be getting some really good looking “Patriots Super Bowl 52” champions t-shirts

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Happiest people not in Philadelphia right now are those who bet the over.

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But how much would you have gotten on the prop bet in Vegas on two missed PATs in the first half?

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Meanwhile, the Patriots are already the favorites to win Super Bowl 53 at 9-2.    While the Bears, Jets, and Browns are 100-1.

Wonder what the odds are on the Browns winning a game?

 

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But when did the Super Bowl turn into arena football?

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Drew Brees apparently sent Nick Foles good luck wishes before the game. Did Saints coach Sean Payton send the Eagles that trick TD play?

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So which comes first, #Eagles saying they don’t want to visit White House or Trump saying he wouldn’t have invited them anyway?

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In Philadelphia cops put hydraulic fluid on poles to prevent climbing after #SuperBowl Really? And they took  away all those potential Darwin Award winners & organ donors?

 

February 2012 – Gisele Bundchen “My husband cannot fucking throw the ball and catch the ball at the same time.” Unfortunately for her & Patriots, Nick Foles CAN. #SuperBowl

 

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First  Super Bowl with winning TD from an Arizona Quarterback, Nick Foles, to a Stanford tight end, Zack Ertz.   So who needs a stinkin’ bowl game win?  #pac12pride

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Super Bowl 52 is over.    The Super Bowl 53 pre-game show starts tomorrow.

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SNL skit had Trump getting his daily intelligence briefing from “Fox & Friends.” White House may sue NBC for giving away state secrets.

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Classes, nothing but classes?

February 3, 2018

 

HS QB prospect Brevin White turned down Alabama for…. Princeton, even though he said Alabama “is a program with a great education.” Crimson Tide players are going “a great what?”

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Tom Brady rookie card sold for $250,000 on eBay. Well, at least something connected with the Patriots QB is over-inflated.

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Patriots staffer spotted today with what appeared to be Tom Brady’s #SuperBowl MVP acceptance speech. Well, this should do wonders for rumors that New England is a team of arrogant a**holes.

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Man who sold Las Vegas shooter 720 rounds of ammunition didn’t have a license to manufacture armor-piercing bullets. But hey, middle-aged white guy, so move along, nothing to see here.

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Who knew the stock market might not like President of the US pissing off the FBI, CIA and DOJ on the same day?

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So when Trump fires Rosenstein and Mueller will he shoot someone in the middle of 5th Avenue just to put an exclamation point on it?

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Seems to me that it’s simple with dueling memos. We’re seen GOP version, now just release Dem version and let American people decide. #MemoDay

 

#PunxsutawneyPhil is such a great scientist you expect @realDonaldTrump to appoint him as head of the National Weather Service.

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George Papadopoulos is now reportedly a “cooperating witness” Hope he has a covfefe taster. #NunesMemo

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Thomas More to Richard Rich, appointed AG to Wales for his perjury that doomed More.  “It profits a man nothing to give his soul for the whole world… but for Wales?

And GOP gave their souls for #NunesMemo?

 

Trump has been convinced FBI, CIA and DOJ have all been against him. Well, if they weren’t before….

 

Just thinking, if there IS a “pee-tape,” wonder how much higher the odds now are of a pissed-off and insulted FBI agent accidentally, uh, leaking it.

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If Piers Morgan hadn’t angrily retweeted BBC cartoon of him with his face in Trump’s ass many people would have assumed the kneeling man was some random GOP member of Congress.

 

Yo memo’s so thin and insignificant, Trump wants to date it. #YoMemoJokes

 

From TC  “Budweiser will be airing a new ad during Super Bowl that will show how they shut down a Bud production line and converted it to can only water for donations to Houston, Florida and California during their crises last year. Nice gesture, but they could have just used the “Bud Light line” which is pretty much equal to water.

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From Marc Ragovin –  “Vegas is actually taking bets on the quarter and time on the clock when refs will screw up a call in Patriots’ favor.”

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Don’t tell the NFL…

January 25, 2018

NBA wants to be a partner in legalizing sports gambling, for a 1% cut on every bet made. Well, that ought to do wonders with those who think sport is fixed.

 

Gregg Popovich & Lebron James chatted and shared a postgame embrace after Spurs win over Cavs. No word on what they discussed but if Kawhi REALLY wants out, suppose San Antonio could do worse for a replacement.

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Elton John announcing he will retire after three-year farewell tour. “Three YEAR farewell tour, you mean we could have done that” said Yankess & Derek Jeter?

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Top three beers in the US are now Bud Light, Coors Light and Miller Lite. Only things getting less light are Americans.

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#LarryNassar is trending. Alas, it’s not because he’s dead.


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president Simon will resign. At this point even Penn State is thinking it was about time.

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John Kerry apparently is thinking of running again for President in 2020.   Right, because one thing the USA lacks is enough old white male candidates.

 

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A day after it happened.  someone finally shamed into acknowledging yesterday’s school shooting. If killer were Muslin or immigrant he’d have been on it in 15 minutes.

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Trump to unveil immigration plan on Monday. For those who don’t like it, no doubt he will disavow plan by Tuesday.

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President Donald Trump says he’s “looking forward” to being interviewed by special counsel Robert Mueller.   Can we put it on pay-per-view?  Might go a way towards fixing national debt.

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McConnell wants Senate to vote on a bill criminalizing abortion after 20 weeks. Good thing at least these pro-lifers are also so pro-healthcare and welfare for low-income mothers. Oh wait…. never mind.

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Will we tell our children & grandkids some day “I’m so old I remember when the USA was actually respected in the world?”

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As Trump jets off to Davos, wonder if Melania is googling looking for a weekend service that can change the locks.

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Weighty matters?

January 16, 2018

Odds of Trump weighing 239 pounds are about the same as Pablo Sandoval’s never topping 239 pounds when he was with the SF Giants?

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Stanford Cardinal hopes for a great  football season just improved immensely.

2018 slogan?  “Love, Actually. ”  #BryceLove

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Bengals fans who hate the Steelers have been thanking Jaguars QB Blake Bortles by donating to his charity. Imagine how much Bortles can raise from Americans if Jacksonville can knock off Brady and Belichick.

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Reports that police were called in Houston after the Clippers’ win when several players including James Harden and Chris Paul reportedly stormed LA locker room to confront Blake Griffin and Austin Rivers,
Apparently officers prevented anything from actually happening. But wonder if Rockets-Clippers next game has been moved to national television?#basketballbrawl

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United 1219 from Denver to Kauai had to divert to San Francisco when the toilets became full, resulting in 8 hour delay. Talk about a shitty flight.

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Reports that ICE is planning for a “major sweep” in Northern California cities to arrest and deport more than 1,500 undocumented people so that they can “send a message.” Just wondering, how many people is ICE going after from Asia or Europe including Russia?

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#ReligiousFreedomDay for Trump just means that everyone should be free to worship him in their own way.

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Turkey has issued travel warning for the US because of a “recent increase in terrorist and violent attacks,” as well as “arbitrary arrests” of Turkish citizens. Are we feeling great yet?

 

Patty Schachtner just won a  State Senate seat in Wisconsin in a district that Trump won 55 to 38 in 2016.   And it  was scheduled as a special election to depress turnout.

So a reminder,  we don’t need to convince EVERYONE that voted for Trump they were wrong. Just enough for a majority.

 

I know geography not Trump administration priority. But still, how does someone with the name Kirstjen not know anything about a Scandinavian country?

 

“When ignorance and bigotry is allied with power, it’s a dangerous force in our country. Your silence and your amnesia is complicity,”  Cory Booker to Kirstjen Nielsen #Booker2020

 

 

 

 

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Snowed under.

January 5, 2018

Waiting for @realDonaldTrump to take credit for fact that players on 24 NFL teams will be guaranteed NOT to kneel for anthem this upcoming weekend.  #Playoffs

 

Michigan may not be as thrilled with Jim Harbaugh  as they once were. But at least they didn’t still have Rich Rodriguez.

 

Despite the Blizzard of 2018, Patriots coach Bill Belichick indicated players better not be late to practice or they might be sent home. Wonder if that includes Brady.

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Has anyone told #JeffSessions that “States Rights” are not “Confederate States Rights?”

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If Congress decides to pass a law overriding Jeff Sessions’ reefer madness, would be perfect if Doug Jones casts deciding vote in Senate.

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Normally when California gets any #earthquake people in rest of US say it’s a reason they wouldn’t live here. With #blizzard2018 they’re thinking, so what’s a little shaking?

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Would really like to see Jeff Sessions tell @SenJohnMcCain to his face he shouldn’t be able to use medical marijuana.

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Can understand Trump being vindictive enough to open up oil drilling off coast of California. But did he forget Florida voted for him?

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Gov. Rick Scott on Trump’s offshore oil drilling plan – “crucial need to remove Florida from consideration.” In other words, f*ck up someone else’s state?#noshame #DeepwaterHorizon

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Sean Spicer says he didn’t lie but “I did my best every day to do what I could to communicate what the President’s intentions were.” Might be the longest-winded oxymoron ever?

 

Remember those innocent days when we thought worst thing we could have to explain about a President to our children was a blow job?

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You know, there have been supposed nasty tell-all books on Obama and Clintons; neither Barack, Bill nor Hillary ever threw hissy-fits and demanded the books not be sold.

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Trump’s “cease and desist” demand on #FireAndFury is so guaranteed to increase book sales you have to wonder if Michael Wolff offered him a cut of profits?

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Trump “I authorized Zero access to White House (actually turned him down many times) for author of phony book!”
Wolfe was at WH daily for months. So Trump expects us to believe he can keep dangerous people out of USA, but he can’t even keep an unwanted reporter out of the West Wing?

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If it’s any consolation to Trump #FireAndFury will probably now sell a lot more copies than #WhatHappened.

 

With weather that may not hit the teens this weekend in Boston and Buffalo, how thankful are NFL fans that the Patriots have a bye, and the Bills have an away game?

 

From TC  “Buffalo Bills fans have donated over $100,000 to Bengals QB Andy Dalton’s charity for knocking The Ravens out of the playoffs and getting Buffalo in. So does anyone know the name of the receiver that caught the pass? ”  Just sayin….  (everyone knows who Malcolm Butler and Dwight Clark are

(Hey, does anyone know the name of any Bengals?  Or Bills?

 

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Get out the violins

January 3, 2018

Nick Saban complaining that teams only get 7 days between #CFBPlayoffsemifinals to championship. If it’s a problem Scott Frost could probably get undefeated #UCF to Atlanta in time.

 

AP story on #RoseParade talked about spectators “camping on sidewalks and braving overnight temperatures in low 40s.”. East coast response ” STFU”

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Blizzard caused a major crash today involving about 75 vehicles, shut down highway near Buffalo. Maybe someone shouldn’t have said hell would freeze over before Bills made playoffs.

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Carson Palmer says he is retiring from the NFL. “The first time’s the hardest” responded Brett Favre.

 

While Trump touts HIS record in avoiding commercial airline fatalities, HIS FAA considers dropping minimum flight hours for commercial pilots’ licenses from 1500 to, depending on background, between 500-1000 hours…. But hey, who needs regulations anyway?

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Don’t get me wrong, Mitt Romney will be an upgrade over Orrin Hatch. But I am somehow missing all the pundits saying he should stay home and knit instead.

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10 Americans killed in small plane crash in Costa Rica on trip booked by US tour company. And Trump takes opportunity, not for “thoughts and prayers” but to tout his magic with planes flying in US?

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That moment when you realize fate of world may hinge on Kim Jong Un being the mature sane one.

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I miss the days when you googled “paranoid delusional President” and you came up with Nixon.

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Remember how relieved millions were when @realDonaldTrump got John Kelly as adult supervision in the White House?

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Learned about “sundowning” when mom had dementia, learned to dread her phone calls then. But those calls were less scary than @realDonaldTrump sundown tweets.

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If someone spills #DietCoke over a #NuclearButton does it make the button as nonfunctional as a wet smartphone or laptop? Asking for a country.

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If you threaten to shoot people on Twitter pretty sure it’s a violation of terms of service. So shouldn’t same apply to threatening nuclear war? @jack @realDonaldTrump

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Rumors that Trump has threatened to cancel his visit to Britain this year if Obama attends Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s Wedding.

And millions of Brits are begging Harry to invite Barack, Michelle and the whole family.

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Not perfect enough?

January 2, 2018

So Auburn team that beat both Georgia & Alabama was beaten by UCF. Explain to me why undefeated  Golden Knights shouldn’t have been in playoffs?

 

Baker Mayfield after Rose Bowl  talked about disappointment of not winning a national title. Fortunately Mayfield isn’t projected #1, or he could find out what it’s like to be disappointed not to win, period. #Browns

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So when did the #RoseBowl turn into college football equivalent of NBA All-Star game? Defense not required.

 

On a brighter note for those tired of #SEC dominance, at least one team in College Football Championship has a Democratic senator.

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Got nothing against idea of a college football playoff. But #RoseBowl should be between #Pac12 & #BigTen. Period.

 

 may bring plenty of revenue to Stubhub.   But w/ game less than 1 1/2 hr from Georgia and 3 hour drive from Alabama  .not exactly going to help Atlanta economy. Or Delta Airlines.

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Many had hoped for #Michigan & #Stanford to play in bowl w/ Shaw vs Harbaugh. Probably would have been good game – they couldn’t BOTH blow 2nd-half leads.

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Prime Minister of Australia will be heading to DC for a meeting w/ Donald Trump this Feb. Maybe some of his entourage can take Jared or Donny Jr to a nice wine bar?

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In 2017, Texas had #SutherlandSprings church shooting, plus 8 fatally shot in Plano by angry ex-husband at football party & now man arrested w/ arsenal at Houston hotel before NYE. But all these guys w/ guns were white, so it’s not terrorism…

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Backwards in time? Hawaiian Airlines flight from Auckland took off after midnight Jan 1, 2018, & landed in Honolulu just after 10am on Dec. 31, 2017. GOP is thinking, big deal. we just took the entire country back 50 years..

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As of Jan 1, Californians can now legally buy recreational marijuana. Jobs, jobs, jobs!! Although many of them in fast-food restaurants & at 7-11.

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Today recreational marijuana is legal in Calif. As if companies didn’t have hard enough time getting employees to show up on time after holidays on Jan 2.

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Good thing about not knowing who #LoganPaul was until today, don’t have regrets about spending ANY of my life having watching even one of his videos.

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Trump tweeting about “great Iranian people.” So he’s banning them from entering US because they’re too great & would make Americans feel bad by comparison?

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Missed it by THAT much

December 21, 2017

NFL tells officials not to use index cards to measure 1st downs. The way officiating has been going this year might be more appropriate to use toilet paper.

 

Lakers guard Kentavious Caldwell-Pope is actually serving a 25-day jail sentence but playing home games under a work release program.
So will a similar plan soon be in place for staff in Trump White House?

 

 

Another 2017 Bummer. RIP Dick Enberg. Though in a long life he really did “touch em all.”

 

FBI documents allege Adidas paid Brian Bowen’s father $100,000 for recruit to sign w/ Louisville. Bowen says he knows “nothing about it”, has never talked about it with his dad, even though he and his father are “closer than ever.” Almost enough to make you miss “tainted supplements.

 

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“Spare the Air” alerts mean San Francisco Bay Area homes can’t have actual wood fires in their fireplaces Christmas Eve. Well, good news at least for Santa.

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In Spanish regional elections, Catalonia secessionist parties tonight declared victory. Blue states in US thinking “You can do that?”

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Yet another reason companies should hire more women – heck of a lot less likely they’ll have to be fired for sexual harassment.

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Inserted into tax bill-, pro athletes may no longer deduct agents’ commissions from their salaries. Trump must really not want any more championship teams visiting him in White House.

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Ivanka, while taking some credit for tax bill, “I spent a lot of time with Sen. Corker as well and he had real integrity around this process.” #CorkerKickback#whythereisnosatire

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Americans who pay attention to Fox News must be feeling pretty good about the prospects for impeaching President Hillary Clinton.

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Ted Cruz – With GOP bill, everyone’s taxes will go down except “rich people in Manhattan and SF.” Uh, Ted. “average effective property tax rate in Texas 1.94%, 4th highest rate of any state.”

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As ghastly as thought of Steve Bannon running for President is, the thought of a Bannon-Trump debate sounds like must-see TV.

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Millionaires and billionaires needed a tax cut like Mar-A-Lago needed to raise their prices for New Year’s Eve.

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Right-wing website blamed Doug Jones’ win in Alabama on a coalition of “Muslims, Hispanics and mainly black Christians.” Don’t forget women. And sorry guys, we can and will vote. Even more outside of Alabama.

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Upsetting?

December 20, 2017

UNC expected to be hard hit by GOP Tax Bill eliminating tax deductible donations to buy football/basketball tickets. But did anyone expect it this fast? #Wofford

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Wonder how many San Franciscans who are not really sports fans are thinking “Wait, what is Eva Longoria doing with the Giants?”

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Welcome to San Francisco Evan Longoria. Hoping you like SF Giants as much as you will like AT&T Park compared to Tropicana Field.  And yeah, those people in the stands you will now seee regularly are called “fans.”

 

Eva Longoria & Evan Longoria are not  related. But Eva’s a fan, and pretty sure SF Giants will be happy to get her good seats to any AT&T park games she wants to attend.

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MLB commissioner Manfred on Marlins’ fire sale “This (Jeter) group has a long-term commitment to winning.” Of course, that “winning” might be in the Bronx.

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Lavar Ball says he will  start basketball league where top HS prospects get paid $10k a month instead of going to college. Well, except for players at some colleges that might be a pay cut.

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So when does Jacob Marley show up at Mar-A-Lago for Christmas dinner?

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Rosie O’Donnell taking heat for offering Senators Flake & Collins $2 million to vote against #GOPTaxScamBill, a bribe which is a felony. Silly @Rosie, the only legal bribes for Senators have to be written into legislation.

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If Mike Pence gets any more fawning with Trump the V.P.’s wife may not let him have any more dinners alone with Donald.

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So GOP Tax Bill  gets passed on the 2nd shortest day of 2017.   #Itsalwaysdarkestbeforethedawn

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Alabama Acting Senator Luther Strange, who voted for GOP Tax Bill is already out of office. How many more Senators & Reps will follow him in 2018?

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GOP Tax bill  talks about “unborn children” as part of party’s anti-abortion strategy, but Republicans still can’t fund CHIP. So it’s “we fight for you in utero but once born you ingrates are on your own?” #WTF

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At least corporate America’s PR attempts before the holidays will put some money in workers’ pockets in 2017. Easy to toss some crumbs when you’ve been gifted a BIG golden loaf.

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Of course if Donald Trump were telling truth & #GOPTaxBillScam doesn’t benefit him he could easily prove it by releasing tax returns.

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Chris Christie put Jared Kushner’s father in jail, Jared got Chris kicked out of Trump administration. Now Christie says Kushner deserves scrutiny in the Mueller investigation. Mean bitch karma loves symmetry

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From T.C.   “Lakers retired both of Kobe’s two jersey numbers this week (#8 & #24). He then tries to convince the wife he that he never lead a double life.

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In Kobe’s honor – don’t pass the popcorn?

December 18, 2017

While Lakers retire Kobe’s jerseys, just pointing out that he is a year YOUNGER than Manu Ginobili. Who’s still winning games for Spurs.

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Kobe Bryant was a great player. Convenient timing though in today’s climate that his rape case was 14 years ago.

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Now American 100 meter world champion Justin Gatlin is reportedly being investigated for alleged doping. Enough to make you long for purity of pro wrestling.

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After last night’s Dallas-Oakland game can we say refs are card-carrying members of the #Cowboys fan club?

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UCF’s Scott Frost wins AP Coach of the Year. Pretty amazing to have an undefeated season when much of the world didn’t even know Central Florida had a football team.

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Difference between the 2017 #Browns and #RoyMoore. The Browns have at least conceded.

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Six days after the election, Roy Moore has not conceded. Well, it is a pretty busy time at the mall.

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ESPN President John Skipper resigns due to a self-described addiction problem. And these days people are just relieved that as far as we know he didn’t sexually harass anyone.

 

Senate intelligence committee is now reportedly investigating Jill Stein. If there is one person both many Dems and GOP would like to see indicted…

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Dear Santa: If a tax cut is not enough could you bring people who drive expensive cars some working turn signals. Pretty clear they don’t have them.

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A Breitbart writer claims that “Feminist witches” are trying to hex Trump.    Hey, if feminist witches had that much power they’d be attending President Hillary Clinton’s Christmas parties.

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Anyone who uses a work email address knows employers can read their email. But Trumpsters somehow thought their .gov emails were special?#cantfixstupid

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Love how Trump team that came into power partly because of hacked PERSONAL emails, is now whining about legitimately obtained government emails.

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Trump tweets about “soon to be submitted” infrastructure plan…. Meaning he wants Jared to start writing one?

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“The America First Committee was the foremost United States non-interventionist pressure group against the American entry into World War II. It was also characterized by anti-semitic and pro-fascist rhetoric. Wikipedia”#AmericaFirst? #WTF?

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The one that got away…

December 18, 2017

Robbie Gould, cut by Chicago last year is 30-32 on FG & has made 20 in a row. His replacement Connor Barth is 11 for 16. That’s so Bears #DaBears

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On the other hand, good news for Bears fans.  A win against the Browns is on next Sunday’s schedule.

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Announcers for #GBvsCAR talking about how well Packers fans travel to away games. They’re great team w/ great fans…but if you had ANY reason to get out of Green Bay in December..?

With Christmas Eve next Sunday, and lots of shopping and preparation for the holiday,  have to wonder how many NFL fans took this Sunday off .   Of course no one expected the Seahawks to join them.

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Top HS QB prospect Justin Fields has committed to Georgia over Florida State. Seminoles feeling crabby? Or crab-leggy?

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Power outage at Atlanta airport, a Delta hub, strands thousands of passengers. American and United immediately introduce electricity surcharge.

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Headlines that more than 300 people out of 5,000 on a Royal Caribbean Cruise ship got sick norovirus this week. Wow, that’s almost as many as the number of passengers on any given morning who were hungover.

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Trump lawyer accuses Mueller of obtaining emails illegally – so former FBI director should have just had Russia get them for him?

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Putin reportedly called Trump to thank CIA for tip that helped stop a St. Petersburg bombing. That moment when Pres. of Russia is more positive about U.S. Intelligence than Pres of US…
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I understand why people who’re just getting by would do anything for big tax cut. But when you have more $$$ than you can spend in a lifetime? #CorkerKickback

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Senator Corker said he had no idea about the provision introduced at the last minute into the GOP tax bill that will save him over $1 million in tax a year. I think I like “pushed into a lifeboat” better.

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Anyone else think Mnuchin’s Treasury department has spent less time actually analyzing #GOP tax bill than his wife Louise Linton spent making her designer clothing & jewelry Christmas wish list.

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Because Trump thinks he’s done enough already? Tax bill would impose a 20% tax on goods made in Puerto Rico & shipped to mainland. #WTF?

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