Posted tagged ‘nunes jokes’

Classes, nothing but classes?

February 3, 2018

 

HS QB prospect Brevin White turned down Alabama for…. Princeton, even though he said Alabama “is a program with a great education.” Crimson Tide players are going “a great what?”

Tom Brady rookie card sold for $250,000 on eBay. Well, at least something connected with the Patriots QB is over-inflated.

Patriots staffer spotted today with what appeared to be Tom Brady’s #SuperBowl MVP acceptance speech. Well, this should do wonders for rumors that New England is a team of arrogant a**holes.

Man who sold Las Vegas shooter 720 rounds of ammunition didn’t have a license to manufacture armor-piercing bullets. But hey, middle-aged white guy, so move along, nothing to see here.

Who knew the stock market might not like President of the US pissing off the FBI, CIA and DOJ on the same day?

So when Trump fires Rosenstein and Mueller will he shoot someone in the middle of 5th Avenue just to put an exclamation point on it?

Seems to me that it’s simple with dueling memos. We’re seen GOP version, now just release Dem version and let American people decide. #MemoDay

 

#PunxsutawneyPhil is such a great scientist you expect @realDonaldTrump to appoint him as head of the National Weather Service.

George Papadopoulos is now reportedly a “cooperating witness” Hope he has a covfefe taster. #NunesMemo

Thomas More to Richard Rich, appointed AG to Wales for his perjury that doomed More.  “It profits a man nothing to give his soul for the whole world… but for Wales?

And GOP gave their souls for #NunesMemo?

 

Trump has been convinced FBI, CIA and DOJ have all been against him. Well, if they weren’t before….

 

Just thinking, if there IS a “pee-tape,” wonder how much higher the odds now are of a pissed-off and insulted FBI agent accidentally, uh, leaking it.

 

If Piers Morgan hadn’t angrily retweeted BBC cartoon of him with his face in Trump’s ass many people would have assumed the kneeling man was some random GOP member of Congress.

 

Yo memo’s so thin and insignificant, Trump wants to date it. #YoMemoJokes

 

From TC  “Budweiser will be airing a new ad during Super Bowl that will show how they shut down a Bud production line and converted it to can only water for donations to Houston, Florida and California during their crises last year. Nice gesture, but they could have just used the “Bud Light line” which is pretty much equal to water.

From Marc Ragovin –  “Vegas is actually taking bets on the quarter and time on the clock when refs will screw up a call in Patriots’ favor.”

Going, going, not quite gone.

March 28, 2017

The Raiders sent out an email today to Season Ticket Holders offering to let them put down a deposit on tickets in Las Vegas.

 

Isn’t this sort of like your significant other telling you he/she is leaving you for someone else as soon as they get their home built, but she’d love to have you come to the housewarming party.

 

A Nevada brothel owner today said he will open a Raiders-themed bordello in 2020. Meaning that unlike Oakland fans, new Las Vegas fans of the team can at least get value for money while being screwed.

Average high temperature in Las Vegas in September, 95%, down from a 103% in August. But hey, fire up those grills for tailgates. #Raiders

As Raiders prepare to pack up & move, a good time to remember that #SFGiants just paid off their PRIVATELY FUNDED stadium.

Lonzo Ball and Markelle Fultz are likely to be the top 2 chosen in the 2017 NBA draft. Today in an interview, Ball said he can “lead a team better, and that “Markelle’s a great player, but I feel I’m better than him.”
Sounds like the apple doesn’t swagger far from the tree.

The world’s largest dinosaur footprint just found in ‘Australia’s Jurassic Park’. Was it from a pickup game involving Tim Duncan?

 

Heard a commercial for FanDuel fantasy golf. Thinking if you seriously play fantasy golf for money you just might have a gambling problem.

 

White House says Trump turned down invite from #Nationals to throw out 1st pitch Opening Day. Bummer. Would have been Bigliest boos ever.

Has it occurred to anyone in Trump administration that Mexico builds tunnels a lot faster than we could build a wall?

Bill O’Reilly insulted Maxine Waters’ hair. Can someone get Bill drunk and ask him what he really thinks of Donald Trump’s hair?

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Johnny Carson as Carnac would do answers first, then questions. An old favorite -“UCLA.” The question – “What happens when smog clears over Los Angeles?”
Doesn’t seem so funny when Trump signs an executive order getting rid of regulations for clean-air.

President signs  EO gutting fed regulations against climate change. If global warming floods FloridaL could it please start with a Trump golf course?.

#TrumpAFamousQuote “Loving myself means never having to say I’m sorry.”

Supreme Court ruled 9-0 w/ Paula Jones & Clinton that Pres could be sued. Trump now filing motion to overturn. #Fakecourt tweet in 3.2.1…

CNN reports Sean Spicer refused to say who signed Nunes onto the White House grounds late at night, “as would be required protocol.”
Standby for the Trump Executive Order outlawing “required protocol.”

The GAO (Government Accountability Office) is apparently going to look into security costs for Trump’s Mar-A-Lago trips and see if he, as promised, is paying the treasury for profits his hotels make from foreign government visits.
Standby for Trump signing an EO to defund the GAO in 3.2.1….

Quote of the day “There was a very serious effort made by Mr. Putin and his government, his organization, to interfere in major ways with our basic, fundamental democratic processes. In some quarters that would be considered an act of war.”
But who listens to crazy liberals like Dick Cheney?

 

Checkpoint Charlie museum honors those who died trying to scale the Berlin wall for a better life. Will Mexico build museum if Trump ever builds his wall?

 

 

Lonzo Ball and Markelle Fultz are likely to be the top 2 chosen in the 2017 NBA draft. Today in an interview, Ball said he can “lead a team better, and that “Markelle’s a great player, but I feel I’m better than him.”
Sounds like the apple doesn’t swagger far from the tree.