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The plot thickens….

November 14, 2012

The Petraeus-Allen story keeps expanding… But at least there’s a bright side for Mitt Romney. So much for all the headlines and jokes being about how he managed to lose the election….

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Now the FBI probe into the Petraeus affair has uncovered over 20,000 pages of “potentially inappropriate” emails between Gen. John R. Allen, U.S. troop commander in Afghanistan, and Jill Kelley, the woman Petraeus’ mistress allegedly threatened. Once again showing how dangerous it is to allow heterosexuals in the military.

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Oxymoron of the year: Private email account.

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Some in the media are commenting how Paula Broadwell always said nice things about General Petraeus’s wife, Holly and never seemed jealous, Well, duh, Paula figured she’d already “won” by him cheating on his wife, she was jealous of potential mistress 2.0.

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Well, give him points for honesty: QB Tyler Bray told reporters “I’m paid to win football games.” For the initiated, Bray plays at Tennessee. Not the Titans. The University of Tennessee.

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Mike D’Antoni told the NY Daily News that he was surprised the Lakers wanted him to coach. Said Phil Jackson, “that makes two of us.”

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Elmo’s accuser has recanted, and says theirs was a “adult consensual relationship”. What a way for pre-schoolers across the country to learn that C is also for Consensual.

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Many people still think Tim Tebow can perform miracles. Not sure about this turning water into wine stuff. But so far Tebow’s being on the Jets hasn’t turned Mark Sanchez into a decent quarterback.

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Two parents in Massachusetts promised their kids that if a picture of them with a sign begging for a cat got 1,000 FB “likes” they could have a kitten. The children got over 100,000 likes, and the cat. Let’s hope this doesn’t give guys ideas about posting a sign wanting to get rid of their wife or girlfriend’s pet.

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These allegations of the puppeteer behind Elmo having a sexual relationship with a minor were disturbing. Let’s hope Bert and Ernie haven’t sent each other any salacious emails.

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If this Petraeus-Allen scandal turns out to be the tip of the iceberg, how long until Bill Clinton applies to be Secretary of Defense?

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The most common question heard in the Army today? Has to be “How do you REALLY erase emails?”

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The widening scandal involving General Petraeus, Paula Broadwell, General Allen and Jill Kelley brings to mind all the high ranking women politicians and government officials who have made fools of themselves over younger men…. Uh wait. Scratch that.

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Depends?

November 13, 2012

So is the next revelation in the General Petraeus affair going to include a road trip by his ex-mistress to Florida wearing Depends?

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Understatement of the year award? Steve Boylan, a Petraeus family friend and former spokesman said on “Good Morning America” that the general’s wife Holly “is not exactly pleased right now.”

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At this point what we seem to know is that General Petraeus had an affair with a woman who turned crazy on him. Hmm, maybe the Secret Service had the right idea with prostitutes. (If only they had paid them.)

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Somewhere Dwight D. Eisenhower and JFK must be laughing together: “Thank God we didn’t live in the internet age.”

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A University of Colorado student has been arrested and charged with “menacing” after he put on a Joker mask at a Boulder movie theater. (And he told police he was aware of the “Dark Knight Rises” shooting.) Not sure if they can make the menacing charge stick but at the least this kid is guilty of terminal stupidity.

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Roddy White of the Atlanta Falcons said of his team’s loss to the New Orleans Saints “It’s not like they came out here and won a game. I think we kind of gave it to them.” Proving again, you can still trash talk with a mouthful of sour grapes.

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The word from folks associated with the Los Angeles Lakers  is that Phil Jackson thought the job was his: “I know just how you feel” said Mitt Romney..

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Not saying the Lakers are old, but will new coach Mike D’Antoni’s challenge now to be to come up with “Hasbeen-sanity?

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Apparently more than 25,000 people have signed a petition for Texas to secede from the United States. About 25 million other Americans would probably sign a petition saying “Let them.”

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Washington State football coach Mike Leach is now being accused of abusing his players. So will the team colors of Crimson and Gray now become “Fifty Shades of Crimson and Gray”?

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General confusion:

November 12, 2012

National security may or may not have been compromised. But comedy writers looking to fill a post-election void are thinking “Thank you, General Petraeus.”

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But really,  a major sex story involving a U.S. leader who is widely respected around the world, and it’s not Bill Clinton?  Who’d a thunk it?

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Well, not sure it’s much consolation. But Mitt Romney’s  supposed favorite team, the New England Patriots,  won.   While  President Obama’s beloved  Chicago Bears…, well, how ’bout that election?

 

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As if New Yorkers haven’t suffered enough with Sandy and the Nor’Easter: Neither storm managed to cancel last Sunday’s Jets and Giants games.

 

 

Post election joy for those of all political persuasion: A Monday morning without 50 + overnight emails asking for money.

 

 

 

Anyone else remember this story from the summer? Now, this could have been entertaining… for those of us who are truly twisted…. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2185022/Has-Mitt-Romney-picked-Gen-David-Petraeus-vice-president.html

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Marc Ragovin:   “So General Petreus had an affair with the author of his biography, which is titled “All in” And boy, was he!”

 

And from Mark – “Any truth to the rumor the General will change his name from Petraues to General Betrayus?”

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The Oakland Raiders lost 55-20 to the somewhat offensively challenged Baltimore Ravens?! If Al Davis wasn’t dead this would have killed him.

 

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Have to wonder, when Mitt Romney starts spending more time at his soon-to-be-rebuilt home in sunny San Diego, will he wish he’d just retired there four years sooner?

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Newest members of “Who Dat” nation? The 1972 Miami Dolphins.

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A Southwest Airlines jet slid off a taxiway at Denver International Airport on Saturday. Fortunately there were no injuries, making the biggest question for most passengers – do we get extra frequent flyer miles?

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Fresh off their mega deal with the Boston Red Sox, the Los Angeles Dodgers have bid 25.7 million dollars for the rights to try to sign Korean pitcher Ryu Hyun-jin. Even the New York Yankees are thinking “Ever heard of fiscal restraint?”

 

Looks like Phil Jackson wasn’t quite as good at the “Name your own price” game as he thought he was.

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Are you ready for some non-SEC football?

November 11, 2012

There’s a lot of college football left to play…but right now the BCS national championship could feature – Oregon vs. Kansas State. A prospect that must have ESPN as excited as FOX was to televise a SF vs. Detroit World Series.

 

 

“Twilight” fans have been camping out since Thursday for the Monday premiere of “Breaking Dawn: Part 2.” Well, at least they didn’t overlap the line as for the new iPhone 5. The human race doesn’t necessarily want those two groups to meet and breed.

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At SEC headquarters , the question of the night is “Who the heck decided to let Texas A & M in the conference?”

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So Louisiana-Lafayette, needing only to run out the clock with 2 seconds left on 4th and 2 to force overtime, had a punt blocked and lost to Florida 27 to 20. Who made that decision? Someone hoping to transfer to an SEC school as a math major?

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After gay marriage initiatives passed Tuesday, the Vatican is proclaiming themselves as a lone voice of courage — “the only check … to the breakup of the anthropological structures on which human society was founded.” Right, and when we think of courage in tackling sexual issues, we all think of the Vatican.

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So was General Petraeus brought down in the end because his mistress thought he was cheating on her and started threatening that other “other woman”? If so, we can start casting the made for TV movie now…

 

When she appeared this year on “The Daily Show,” Paula Broadwell told Jon Stewart that General Petraeus had “no dirty secrets.” Well, not anymore.

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From my friend Alex Kaseberg –  “Attention guys cheating on wives. The head of the CIA just got caught cheating on his wife. Your stupid ass will not get away with it.”

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So headline in Alabama this morning?    “Rolled, Tide.”

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As some of us are going through baseball withdrawal,  here’s a thought, pitchers and catchers report in about 100 days. Which is about 90 days further away than the opening of the 2016 Presidential campaign season.

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Embedded?

November 10, 2012

CIA director David Petraeus has resigned after admitting he had an affair. How long until he’s asked to join the “Clinton Global Initiative.”

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Apparently General Petraeus, 60, had his affair with his biographer and videographer, Paula Broadwell, 39. So guess Petraeus didn’t think he was Bill Clinton, he thought he was John Edwards.

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Once again, the conspiracy theorists are out, this time about General Petraeus’s affair and the timing of his resignation. Really?!! It’s amazing how the only time some folks give Obama credit for competence is in engineering coverups.

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Wow! Lakers coach Mike Brown has been fired already, only five games into a disappointing season. And somewhere from the great beyond Al Davis and George Steinbrenner are thinking “You can do that?”

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Here’s a scary post-election thought. For a brief, not-so-shining moment last year, some thought Donald Trump could be elected president of the United States.

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Condoleezza Rice said today she wouldn’t be the next secretary of state, even if President Barack Obama asked her. I don’t think that’s going to be a problem.

(Although as a Democrat I’d be happy with Richard Lugar. And Condi would be better than Bud Selig for baseball.)

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Can we get over this concept of Kentucky defending their NCAA national championship in men’s basketball. Because a true defense might involve, for starters, having one player from that championship team still in uniform. (And no, I don’t mean an NBA uniform.)

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Phil Jackson has apparently said he might consider ending his retirement and return to coaching the Lakers.   “Atta boy,” said Brett Favre.

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Nick Swisher, who has hit .169 in 154 postseason at-bats. apparently will leave New York because he doesn’t like their $13 million offer for 2013. Maybe the Yankees decided that with A-Rod it was enough to have one high-priced player who takes Octobers off.

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Ah, the purity of amateur sports: UCLA star recruit Shabazz Muhammed was declared ineligible for recruiting violations. Which the LA Times alleges resulted from visits to Duke & North Carolina –  Schools he turned down in favor of UCLA .  Gosh, if so, wonder who turned him in.

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Mitt Romney’s sister complained to an interviewer that her brother had been “vilified” during the campaign. Uh, did she think it was going to get better if he became president?

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Anders Behring, Breivik the Norwegian mass murderer who killed 77 people, mostly teenagers, is complaining that he is being held in inhumane solitary conditions. Well, heck, let’s get him into the general population right away then.

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Ye Gods, they’re like political Tribbles. Only not as cute and cuddly. George P. Bush, grandson of George H.W, nephew of George W. Bush, son of Jeb, just filed paperwork to run for office in the state of Texas.

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From T.C.  ” With Washington voting to legalize marijuana,  can we expect Cheech and Chong to be signed for every Seattle Mariners home game singing “‘Toke Me Out to the Ball Game?'”  And of course the National Anthem to be sung by the Doobie Brothers?’

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T’is the season…

November 9, 2012

Wouldn’t it be nice if there was a bit of a break between the election and holiday shopping season?

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Silver lining to stores increasingly planning to open on Thanksgiving: It means an excuse other than football not to talk to your relatives.

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So “The X Factor”, which purports to discover talent, is now co-hosted by Khloe Kardashian. Anyone but me find that kind of an oxymoron?

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Two rushing TD’s for Andrew Luck  Thursday night.   Who does he think he is? RG3?

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Meanwhile,  Joe Namath is the latest to publicly question why the NY Jets aren’t using Tim Tebow more often. And some Jets fans are so frustrated they’re thinking “Joe, I wanna kiss you.”

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In college football , Cal (3-7) is playing Oregon (9-0) in Berkeley this Saturday, The Ducks have outscored opponents 176-29 in the first quarter so far in 2012. So a simple tip for Bears fans who want to see a close game – get there early.

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A USC student football manager was suspended for deflating five game balls below regulation levels (which apparently makes them easier to throw) for last week’s USC-Oregon game. Insert USC ‘no real balls” joke here:

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Guess the media is still getting used to slower news days after the election. A CNN.com headline – “Thanksgiving planes likely to be full.” (Uh, can anyone remember a year when they weren’t?”)

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Today in Florida and Ohio, millions of residents discovered  they are actually HAPPY to turn on the television and see used-car commercials.

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USC coach Lane Kiffin now insists publicly that a student-manager who intentionally deflated footballs (to make them easier for Matt Barkley to throw) against Oregon, acted completely on his own. Wonder if Kiffin added privately “Wish I’d thought of that before we played Stanford.”

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NY Jets CB Antonio Cromartie guaranteed the Jets will be playing in the 2012 postseason. What, like he guaranteed the eight mothers of his children that he wouldn’t get them pregnant?

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Las Vegas casino owner Sheldon Adelson spent more than $54 million on losing races Tuesday, mostly on the Presidential election. Wonder how tight his slot machines will be this weekend to make up for it?

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From my friend Tom Dodd:  Wouldn’t it be much more efficient if the Presidential Election were simply staged in Ohio, which always seems to represent the final result anyway? It would save a lot of money and fuel, and the rest of the country could avoid the bombardment of campaign ads for that office.

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Repeats.

November 8, 2012

So when the World Champion SF Giants and President Barack Obama meet in 2013 at the White House, will both be thinking “Didn’t expect to see you here again.”?

 

 

Serious meltdown from a disappointed Karl Rove last night over the election.    At least he isn’t a Lakers fan.

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Mark McGwire will be the Los Angeles Dodgers’ next hitting coach. I guess this is the end of L.A. fans taunting the S.F. Giants about their association with PEDs and Barry Bonds?

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Some things never change. Florida is heading for a recount. Take all the time ya’ll want this year….

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Not that it matters nearly as much as in 2000. But if the Supreme Court is going to end up giving Florida’s electoral votes to the GOP, can they announce it now and save the state a lot of recount money?

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Get the sense Mitt Romney won’t be campaigning for Chris Christie’s re-election next year? The New Jersey governor is bristling at suggestions he cost Romney the White House with his praise for Obama and when asked what went wrong for Mitt replied “He didn’t get enough votes.”

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The law of unintended consequences. Does the legalization of recreational marijuana in Colorado and Washington mean a huge advantage for free agent recruiting with the Rockies, Mariners, Nuggets, Broncos and Seahawks?

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Former Texas football coach Darrell Royal, 88, has died. Will always remember the story when the Longhorns were way down at halftime and players expected a blistering speech. Allegedly Royal never came into the locker room, until the bell rang, when he stuck his head in and said “Well, girls, shall we go?” Texas won the game.

 

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Colorado and Washington legalized recreational marijuana last night. Well, it’s high time!

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Puerto Rico last night backed a referendum calling for U.S. statehood. Wonder how many Americans wouldn’t mind exchanging them for Florida?

 

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Well after the election we can all get back to a little Yankee bashing since in 2013 New York will once again have the highest payroll in baseball….. Uh wait a minute, scratch that. Your turn, Dodgers.

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303.

November 7, 2012

Electoral votes.  Pending Florida,  which is heading for another recount.  Y’all take all the time you want this go around.

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Bipartisan thought. So why schedule elections on a Tuesday when one way or another it means a lot of people hung over on a Wednesday?

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Eleven point gender gap as women went for Obama 55 to 44.   So is the next step for the GOP an attempt to repeal the 19th amendment?

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Saddest thing about Mitt Romney’s loss for our country as a whole – many in the Republican party will think he lost for not being extreme enough.

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Late this evening ,  Mitt Romney called  President Obama to concede. As a Californian  I am more than happy to wish Mitt a very happy retirement in our great state.-

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President Obama is talking so much about hope in the face of what seems like insurmountable odds I almost expect him to declare himself a retroactive SF Giants fan.

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CNN called California, Hawaii and Washington at 15 seconds after 8:00pm. What took them so long?

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For that matter CNN  also said  Romney would win Utah as soon as the polls closed.  . Uh, they could have called that in January 2009.

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Was Joe Donnelly’s win in Indiana a “gift from God?”

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Tough night in the Mitt Romney “war rooms.”    Enough almost to drive a Mormon to drink?

 

 

From my very funny friend Neil Berliner: “Pack the dog up on the roof, Ann.”

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And to anyone who’s made it this far, tomorrow this blog is back to more sports.

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All over but hanging the chads.

November 6, 2012

Really?!! One of the countless political emails I have gotten today says “Don’t forget to vote.” Oh, is there an election today or something?

Facebook has a little banner saying “Tell friends you’re voting in the 2012 Election.” Uh, I think in my case they already know.

 

Can you imagine the difference in turnout if every voter got a free lottery ticket?-

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Who says Mitt is out of touch with modern America. Campaigning in front of 8,500 people in Virginia, Mitt said “I am looking around to see if we have the Beatles here or something.”

 

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You know, had we just let the South secede the biggest issue after tonight’s election would be if U.S. President Obama would sign a treaty with Confederacy President Romney, or maybe Santorum.

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Across the pond, the English must be watching all these U.S. voting controversies – early voting lines, provisional ballots, alleged fraud, etc – with all the amusement of parents watching their “oh-so-independent” children screw up when they try to do things on their own.

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There have been so many versions of Mitt Romney in the 2012 election sometimes I have to wonder if the only consistent thing voters have to base their decision on is that he’s the white one….

 

-Just think, after today’s election many Americans can get back to the issues they really care about – like Lindsay Lohan’s possibly being charged for allegedly lying to the police about her car accident this summer.

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So tomorrow what will the undecided voters of this country do for attention? Stand at the counter in front of us carefully perusing ALL the baked goods at Starbucks?

 

-Owner Jerry Jones says he will never step down as GM of the Dallas Cowboys. This is great news, for the rest of the NFC East.

 

 

A players’ poll had Rex Ryan overwhelmingly the most overrated coach in the NFL. Really? To be overrated some people actually have to think you’re good.

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Andrew Luck, whose Colts are now in the playoff picture, and who broke the single-game rookie record for passing yards, just gave himself a midterm grade of C. Man, those Stanford professors must have been tough.

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Election eve.

November 5, 2012

Just think, in two more days none of us will be receiving countless emailed solicitations for political donations. Those emails will be replaced by countless solicitations for Christmas shopping.

 

 

Actually, if we really want to increase voter turnout and stimulate the economy, maybe what stores should do is offer a discount to anyone this week who can provide proof of voting?

 

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Just two more days, and all the U.S. undecided voters can go back to annoying the rest of us over more difficult decisions like “Paper vs. Plastic?”

 

One of these years Republicans will try to win an election by fielding a good enough candidate to make them WANT to allow as many people to vote as possible.

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Karl Rove is already blaming Hurricane Sandy for a potential Romney loss? If so, would that give further credence to those who have been saying for a while “God is coming, and boy is She pissed?”

 

New BCS standings are out, and five of the top eight teams are from the SEC. How did those other three get in there?

 

 

Washington, D.C. is hoping to return to some semblance of normalcy after the election. The Redskins, alas, are already there.

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Stanford changed quarterbacks Saturday and shut out Colorado 48-0. And many NY Jets fans are shouting “Did you see that, Rex Ryan?!”

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Kevin Hogan reminded Stanford football fans Saturday of what it was like to play with a little bit of Luck.

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Got to love polls – sports version. Stanford, #15 with the AP college football rankings – beat Colorado 48 to ZERO. And was dropped to #16.

 

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Another Saturday score, Oregon 62, USC 51.   How did it miss my attention that the NIT men’s basketball tournament must have started this weekend?

 

Sarah Palin’s SARAH PAC donated $5,000 to Mitt Romney’s campaign…on the last day of October. So until then was she an undecided voter too?

 

Andrew Luck set a new single game rookie passing record today with 433 yards. Maybe Kevin Hogan got him fired up too?

 

 

Chris Christie, facing criticism for his perceived support of Obama this week said he is voting for Romney, but “If the president of United States comes here and he’s willing to help my people and he does it then I’m gonna say nice things about him because he’s earned it.” Heresy!

(Charlie Crist was drummed out of the GOP for less.)

 

 

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The real magic number…

November 2, 2012

Three.

As in the number of days before we are done with political ads and emails.

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Rudy Giuliani called on President Obama to resign over the four American deaths in Libya. Makes sense, after Rudy called on President George W. Bush to resign over 9/11. Oh, wait…. never mind.

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Meanwhile,  across the state line,  got to love that American spirit sometimes: N.J. Gov. Chris Christie said Atlantic City’s 12 casinos could reopen immediately after a nearly five-day shutdown for Superstorm Sandy.

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Dwayne Wade thought it was inappropriate for the Heat to play the Knicks Friday night at Madison Square Garden. A social conscience? Or a premonition that New York would beat Miami by 20 points?

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A  serious thought regarding early voting: Personally, it bothers me when people don’t make an effort either to get to the polls, OR vote absentee. On the other hand, while there may not be a constitutional right to vote early, the founding fathers left voting rights to the states, excluding all but white, male landowners. Times change. So in the end, I come down on the side of making voting as easy as possible.

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Montgomery Burns from the Simpsons has endorsed Mitt Romney for President. Hey, some Republicans may hope this offsets the all important Honey Boo Boo endorsement.

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The Los Angeles Angels are looking to trade pitcher Dan Haren, and reportedly have interest from both the Red Sox and the Cubs. Sounds like either way, Haren’s likely to keep getting his Octobers off.

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In Northern California, Chevron says their Richmond oil refinery, closed since a fire in early August, could be fully operational by March. Which gives them four months to think of another excuse for higher gas prices.

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From my friend Jim Barach,   (and a majority of voters polled do expect President Obama to win.)

A study says that who people expect to win an election is more reliable than who they want to win. This has been proven time and again for more than a century by Chicago Cubs fans.

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The New York City Marathon has been cancelled for this weekend. One question – what took them so long?

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T’is the season.

November 2, 2012

In case anyone thought it’s only the U.S. that is out of control with early holiday shopping – in London, Santa’s Grotto is open at Harrods tomorrow as Father Christmas arrives – November 3!

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Despite long lines and urging from the League of Women Voters, Florida Gov. Rick Scott on Thursday today refused to extend early voting through Sunday. Of course, if he could Scott would probably deal with the lines by dismissing the 19th amendment.

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As Americans deal with countless last-minute emails asking for campaign money, more people on both sides of the aisle might start agreeing with John McCain. When he said that Citizens United was the Supreme Court’s “worst decision ever.”

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Steve Spurrier now says that Alabama could beat some NFL teams. Well, based on his tenure with the Redskins, maybe a lousy NFL team IF Spurrier was coaching them.

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Watching Chris Christie and Barack Obama together – whoever thought a potential election game-changer might include the words “Jersey Shore?”

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It’s only two games into the NBA season. But who do the newly star-studded Los Angeles Lakers think they are? The Dodgers?

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Here’s a bipartisan cheerful thought. In five days, we won’t have to read a single news story involving polls….. (Until candidates start running for 2016, which should take about a week.)

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Well, this ought to take care of the stereotype of NFL players as pampered and out of touch: Since their usual hotel still doesn’t have power, the Pittsburgh Steelers now will fly into Newark Sunday morning and bus to the Meadowlands for a 4:25pm kickoff against the NY Giants. Oh, the horror.

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Proving that there is nothing in America that isn’t an excuse for a sale – Macy’s advertising an “Election Day Sale.” (Shame there isn’t a further discount if you can prove you have voted.) Standby for “Hurricane Sandy” sale to follow.

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Mitt Romney’s campaign dismissed New York Mayor Bloomberg’s endorsement of President Obama as inconsequential. Gosh, if they said that earlier maybe Bloomberg might have made up his mind sooner.

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After candy and Sandy?

October 31, 2012

On the day after Halloween  with so much devastation around the country it is important to remember one point – Problems will fade, but uneaten candy corn is forever.

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Some say President Obama needed a little more Bill Clinton in him this election season; it may turn out that he just needed a little more Chris Christie.

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More Chris Christie, in an interview with Fox News…. “I have a job to do here in New Jersey that is much bigger than presidential politics.” And if anyone knows “bigger”, it’s Chris Christie.

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Hey, some priorities are intact. Gov. Chris Christie, with a signed executive order, postponed Halloween festivities in New Jersey until Monday, Nov. 5. Not even Sandy stands in the way of the American child’s right to free candy.

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Maybe our neighbors to the  north they think he’s a comedian? Michael Brown, director of FEMA during Katrina, in an op-ed in Canada’s “Globe and Mail” newspaper: “Hurricane Sandy should teach us to be prepared, willing to live without the modern conveniences of elevators, computers and refrigerators. Hurricane Sandy should teach all of us to chill.”

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Lance Armstrong will become the latest celebrity to be burned in effigy Saturday during a English town’s Guy Fawkes’ Bonfire Night. And we thought Phillies fans were tough.

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From my funny friend Neil Berliner:   “Obama campaign head David Axelrod:  ‘I’ll shave off my mustache if he loses Minnesota, Michigan, or Pennsylvania.’ Now let’s hopefully hear the same regarding Romney from Ann Coulter.”

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Nice twist of justice for Jerry Sandusky. Not only will he be housed on death row in prison, but also “all visits will be non-contact, meaning no touching is allowed.”

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SF Giants’ closer Sergio Romo, of Mexican descent, is wearing a t-shirt for the World Championship parade today. The phrase on the shirt? – “I only look illegal.”

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Eli Manning says he hopes that this weekend the Giants win and give those NY and NJ residents affected by Hurricane Sandy “a little break” and “a little joy.” By that standard it’s a good thing the NY Jets have a bye week.

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From Mark:   “Weird score of the night from English Premier League: Arsenal 7, Reading 5. To put that into perspective, Arsenal scores more in one soccer game that the Detroit Tigers did in an entire World Series.”

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This response to Mitt Romney’s ads in Ohio – “We’ve clearly entered some parallel universe during these last few days…. campaign politics at its cynical worst….” The liberal media? No, General Motors.

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In Idaho the daughter-in-law of the Senate Minority Leader is in stable condition after her husband accidentally shot her at the end of hunting trip. Does this mean the guy has aspirations to be vice president?

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Halloween…

October 31, 2012

And it’s only the first game of the season, but looks like the Washington Wizards are doing their annual act of dressing up like an NBA team.

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All that money, all those stars, and the Lakers looked pretty flat.on opening night. Well, at least it takes the Los Angeles spotlight off the Dodgers.

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Just MAYBE these seasons combined with postseason games are getting too long? If the SF Giants hadn’t swept the Detroit Tigers the World Series would be overlapping the NBA openers.

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Meanwhile on Halloween, Mitt Romney is trying to decide whether to go as a Liberal, a Conservative or a Moderate. In other words,  just another day.

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In Alaska this past weekend, Levi Johnston married his second baby mama, Sunny Oglesby. So where’s Sarah Palin congratulating the father of her grandson on his belated family values?

 

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As the power stays off in much of the East Coast, wonder how many younger people are wishing if only there was a material you could use to make something to read or do puzzles on,  and that didn’t have to be charged or plugged into the wall.

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As the East Coast tries to recover from Sandy, your tax dollars at work out west: Nayda Suleman has checked into a Southern California Rehab clinic for 28 days to deal with a Xanax addiction….

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Well, at least he’s consistent. W’s FEMA director Michael Brown on Monday said President Obama acted too quickly in mobilizing relief for Sandy: “It’s premature [when] the brunt of the storm won’t happen until later this afternoon.”

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So wonder how long after the election it will take Donald Trump to file bankruptcy and ask for federal relief from Obama for his Atlantic City and New York properties?

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The NCAA says they have passed tougher sanctions to crack down harder on rule-breakers. Great, even more punishment for schools and athletes who get left behind when the cheaters go to another school or the NFL.

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George Lucas has agreed to sell Lucasfilm to Disney for $4.05 billion. Insert “dark side” joke here:

 

 

 

From T.C. “What’s the difference between Lance Armstrong and Felix Baumgartner?  Felix landed on his feet.”

 

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Really? Some have been criticizing President Obama because the speed of his investigation into Benghazi hasn’t been as swift as his response to Hurricane Sandy. Uh, maybe because there is a difference between a rush to judgment and a rush to put people’s lives back together?

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Post season.

October 29, 2012

What was this stupid game played by men in tights on TV Monday night and where is my baseball?

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Oops, technology. Just got an email from Stubhub this morning “San Francisco Giants Postseason Tickets in a Flash – Head to StubHub.com. We wanted to give you a heads up that seats are still available.” Well, no doubt game 6 and 7 tickets are cheap…..

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Over 5 million are  now without power.  5,000,050 if you count the New York Yankees and Detroit Tigers.

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Pablo Sandoval, World Series MVP?! So does this mean tacos may be declared a PED?

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Hmm, used this joke Saturday, and Jay Leno used almost the same one tonight.   ” Detroit looking like their only hope is to ask President Obama for a bailout.”   (But of course they still don’t think they need any female freelancers.)

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A line going around the internet (don’t know who wrote it) is that they should have renamed the storm Hurricane A-Rod, then it wouldn’t have hit anyone.

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So much for the country pulling together: The Fed. Govt. is closed for at least 2 days, which may delay the Oct. jobs report. Iowa GOP Rep. Chuck Grassley tweets “Labor Dept says may release latest Unemployment figures until after election. Par for course. Why release something might hurt Obama elect?” Right, clearly the President conjured up Sandy for this purpose.

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Chris Christie is praising President Obama for his response so far to Hurricane Sandy. Nice bipartisan statement. And makes sense – I am sure Christie would rather run against Hillary, Biden or Cuomo in 2016 rather than an incumbent Romney.

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N.J. Gov. Chris Christie said evacuations are no longer possible, and rescuers won’t be sent out “until daylight tomorrow.” Translation – “Okay idiots, we’ll pick you or your bodies up in the morning.”

(Added Nick Coombs,  “Attention New Jersey residents.  In case of emergency your governor may be used as a floatation device.)

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The HMS Bounty, built as a replica tall ship to be used in movies, has sunk off the N.C. coast. Tragic for the two missing crew members but going out in hurricane conditions had to be the dumbest decision since Captain Bligh figured he could handle an angry Fletcher Christian.

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49ers fans were glad that their Monday Night Football game was played in Arizona and thus avoided a Hurricane Sandy postponement. New York Jets fans are just wishing Sandy had shown up yesterday morning.

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For anyone who doesn’t believe in voodoo, this from ESPN:    “Oct. 9 in Cincinnati. Giants trailed, 2 games to 0 in NLDS. And then, with their entire season on the line, they picked THAT night to get no-hit into the 6th, to get 1 hit in the first 9 innings, to strike out 16 times — and they WON. In extra innings. On an unearned run.”

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Zero.

October 29, 2012

Timing is everything:   Tonight marks the SF Giants first seven game winning streak of 2012.

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The San Francisco Giants are World Series champions in four games. I blame Obama.

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New York Yankees are trying to figure out how to buy San Francisco.

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Last thought for the night: San Francisco Giants fans are not going to wake up tomorrow and find this is all an episode of “Newhart”, are we?

 

The Cincinnati Enquirer endorsed Mitt Romeny,  citing his past moderate record in Massachusettes, saying  “Romney as president should stay true to who he is.”  Uh, this assumes that at this point Mitt actually KNOWS who he is?”

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Guessing Mitt Romney is not going to take this week to reiterate his GOP debate pledge to shutter FEMA: “Every time you have an occasion to take something from the federal government and send it back to the states, that’s the right direction. And if you can go even further, and send it back to the private sector, that’s even better. ”

 

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One silver lining that many weary Americans are finding from Hurricane Sandy: Both Romney and Obama have cancelled campaign appearances.

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And in New York, the everyone  is of course hoping for the best with the storm.  On the other hand,  Sandy may assure that neither the Yankees nor the Jets are the biggest disaster for October.

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New England Patriots owner Robert Kraft said London, England, is ready for their own professional NFL team. Well, that lets out sending them the Jaguars.

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Magic number. One.

October 27, 2012

Wow!   Detroit looking like their only hope is to ask President Obama for a bailout.

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Previously undefeated Florida lost today to Georgia in college football.   Meaning it’s going to be a really tough job for the BCS to figure out how to put two SEC teams into the national championship.

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Amidst all this worry about Hurricane Sandy: With all the recent statements from male politicians about women’s reproductive rights, any chance this is a case of “God is coming and boy is She Pissed?”

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Assume the Romney campaign is working overtime planning on how to spin any problems that will result from Hurricane Sandy on Obama.

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The Catholic Church in England has asked the Vatican to consider posthumously stripping televison star Sir Jimmy Savile of his Papal knighthood now that child abuse charges have come to light. Would they prefer that the Vatican posthumously declare Savile a priest?

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Former Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi was sentenced to four years in jail for tax evasion. What, they don’t know about offshore bank accounts in Italy?

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Nice job by commissioner Larry Scott to have added Colorado and Utah to the Pac 10, now 12. Guess the money and adding two cupcakes was really worth messing up everyone’s schedule….

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Halfway there…

October 26, 2012

And still living on a prayer.

The way this postseason has gone, maybe on the plane ride to Detroit, manager Bruce Bochy should try to convince the SF Giants they are actually DOWN 2 games to 0.

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Well, we now know the answer to the question “What happened to that offensively challenged Giants team that somehow beat the Reds in the NLDS?”. Now on to Comerica Park. Which makes A T and T look like a bandbox.

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Last night’s Giants-Tigers matchup got an 8.8 rating, the 2nd lowest ever for a World Series Game 1. Well, maybe if ESPN and Fox didn’t make the regular series all about the Yankees and Red Sox, fans across the country might have developed an interest in one of these very good and at times fascinating teams.

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A Sacramento TV anchor was on live TV outside of AT&T Park yesterday in San Francisco when he was, shall we say, mistaken for a statue by a seagull. Shame it wasn’t Tim McCarver or Joe Buck.

(my  friend Michael M. said that when the guy made it home he was definitely pooped.”

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The New York Yankees once reportedly had their eye on the SF Giants’ Tim Lincecum as a starter. After Wednesday night they may want to sign him to replace Mariano Rivera.

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A Sports Illustrated players poll had Tim Tebow as the most overrated player, with Mark Sanchez second. Once again, many think Tebow has unfairly stolen Sanchez’s spotlight.

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NBA commissioner David Stern is retiring. Many MLB fans wish he’d take Bud Selig with him.

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Amongst the congratulatory Tweets that the Giants’ Pablo Sandoval, who hails from Venezuela, received last night after his 3 home run game was one from Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez. Well, that ought to dispel San Francisco’s liberal commie-pinko image.

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Taylor Swift, 22, and Conor Kennedy, 18, have broken up. And who saw that coming?

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Colin Powell endorsed President Obama today, adding “I think I’m a Republican of more moderate mold and that’s something of a dying breed, I’m sorry to say…the Republicans I worked for are Reagan, Bush 41, the Howard Bakers of the world, people who were conservative, people who were willing to push their conservative views, but people who recognize that at the end of the day you got to find a basis for compromise. Compromise is how this country runs.”

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After Colin Powell endorsed President Obama, Senator John McCain said: “All I can say is: Gen. Powell, you disappoint us.” Wonder if Powell thought of replying – “Spoken by the guy who gave us Sarah Palin?

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John Sununu suggested Colin Powell’s endorsement of President Obama was motivated by race. So was Sununu’s endorsement of Romney motivated by Mitt’s also being a rich guy who wants to ride on government jets?

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Who says politicians never say anything directly? This from President Obama: “Let me make a very simple proposition: Rape is rape. It is a crime. And so these various distinctions about rape don’t make too much sense to me — don’t make any sense to me.”

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Game won.

October 25, 2012

Even Kirk Gibson watching Pablo Sandoval tonight in Game 1 of the World Series had to be saying  “”I don’t believe what I just saw.”.

 

After facing Barry Zito, the Detroit Tigers may protest game 1: They didn’t think it was legal for a non-knuckleball pitcher to throw that slowly.

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But who knew?  Barry Zito –  RBI machine.

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Gaylord Perry threw out ceremonial first pitch  for SF Giants tonight. Wonder how long it took Sergio Romo to wash his hands afterwards?

 

Moral victory for Jose Valverde: He kept Panda in the park.

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Could it get any better for SF Giants fans? The team is in the World Series, and today comes the rumor from a Southern California radio station that the LA Dodgers are interested in A-Rod.

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Former Red Sox manager Bobby Valentine has now said that David Ortiz sidelined himself in Sept. not because of his Achilles injury, but because he knew the team was out of the playoffs after they traded with the Dodgers. Looking like Boston was out of the playoffs as soon as they signed Bobby V.

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Here we go again. Donald Trump has offered to donate $5 million to charity if President Obama releases his college records and applications and passport records and applications. Really? How about all that money Larry Flynt has offered for Mitt’s tax returns?

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Wonder how much might be donated to charity if Donald Trump would release information on where that furry thing that lives on his head was born?

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President Obama on the Tonight Show about the origins of his problems with Donald Trump: “This all dates back to when we were growing up in Kenya….” (Note to my GOP friends, it was a JOKE.)

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Even Sarah Palin is beginning to think Donald Trump is a media whore.

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My sense is that Ambassador Stevens would be sickened by all this politicizing of his death. But today some conservative media are headlining that the U.S was advised two hours after the attack that an Islamic militant group had claimed credit. Yo, with most attacks SEVERAL groups initially claim credit.

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World serious.

October 24, 2012

Ten top stories on ESPN.com Tuesday morning and one is about baseball – the Red Sox introducing their new manager. What East Coast bias?

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The SF Giants are in the World Series after winning six straight postseason elimination games. Waiting for the t-shirt that says “Giants Baseball 2012 – Fifty Shades of Orange.”

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Another reason baseball is better than football. Today was World Series Media day:   Note the word “day” instead of “week”.

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From Marc Ragovin,  “Not saying the Cardinals looked flat last night against the Giants,  but for a minute there I thought I was watching Obama at the first debate.”

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Eva Longoria and QB Mark Sanchez have apparently ended their relationship. Well, at least unlike the Jets, Eva had enough sense not to sign a longterm contract with him.

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A new ad featuring Natalie Portman for Dior’s Diorshow New Look lash-multiplying mascara has been banned in the U.K for being unrealistic. Uh, anyone actually seen a makeup ad that IS realistic?

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Ann Coulter said after last night’s debate. “I highly approve of Romney’s decision to be kind and gentle to the retard.” Jeez, I think Todd Akin does more for the status of women.

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Roger Goodell said that the NFL was considering dropping the Pro Bowl. “That would be a real shame”, said absolutely nobody.

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The Miami Marlins have fired manager Ozzie Guillen. So congrats to all those who had October 23 in the pool.

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To promote their new pan pizza, Domino’s outlets will offer over 500,000 free pizza slices today at lunchtime. Wow, that’s almost 10 pounds of real cheese.

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In Indiana, U.S Senate candidate Richard Mourdock just said he is against abortion in cases of rape because “it is something that God intended to happen.” And somewhere God may be thinking “Are you kidding? I didn’t even intend Richard Mourdock to happen.

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Regarding Tagg Romney’s investment firm having a financial interest in a company that makes voting machines that will be used in Ohio – I actually am not a fan of conspiracy theories. But can you imagine the GOP reaction if say, a Virginia Ohio voting machine company was partly owned by a friend of Obama’s?

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Welcome to the big leagues. UCF appealed their postseason ban for recruiting violations, and the NCAA said they won’t rule until January, so the 5-2 Golden Knights will be bowl eligible in 2012. Thereby assuring all the guilty parties will be long gone when the punishment kicks in.

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From T.C.  What’s the difference between Lance Armstrong and Felix Baumgartner? Felix landed on his feet.

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