If you’re unhappy and you know it….

New York Jets cornerback Antonio Cromartie supported QB Mark Sanchez by saying “When you don’t have a supporting cast, you’re going to get an average or below-average quarterback.” Well, actually the Jets had a great supporting cast, aka “Les Miserables.”

Lance Armstrong’s lawyer told the U.S. Anti-Doping Agency that the cyclist will help ”clean up cycling.”    Makes as much sense as Bill Clinton signing the “Defense of Marriage Act.”


Titus Young, who has been sent home from the Detroit Lions 3 times in 2 years for insubordination, is now saying things on Twitter like “Oh I’m not done, if y’all going to cut me let me go” and threatening to retire if he doesn’t get the football. Even T.O. is thinking “Just STFU.”


Dwight Howard on the Los Angeles Lakers: “Negativity just got to stop. I’m sick of hearing about it. We got to bring some positivity to the situation.” (And no doubt thinking “Especially because it’s harming my value on the free agent market when I’m out of here next season”)

UCLA’s compliance department is investigating basketball star Shabazz Muhammad’s Gucci backpack, which the freshman wore it yesterday on television after the Arizona game. Uh, this one’s easy for Muhammad, just say he got the backpack on Canal Street on a trip to New York.

This may only make sense to frequent fliers, but United Airlines has decided that 30 minutes is enough time at JFK airport to connect from their flight to a Swiss flight. Terminal 7 to Terminal 4. Really?! You’d have a better chance of seeing Tim Tebow lead the Jets to a Super Bowl.

Sarah Palin, who has been a contributor to Fox News since 2010, is leaving the network, saying that it is her decision. Didn’t know Palin had signed a 6 year contract.

Carl Pavano will be out for six to eight weeks after rupturing spleen shoveling show at home in Vermont. Hearing this the SF Giants breathed a sigh of relief that Jeremy Affeldt lives in Arizona.

The California Highway Patrol says a naked woman has been arrested after allegedly driving her car into her fiance. How long until we can expect a made-for-tv movie starring Lindsay Lohan?

Mark Zuckerberg is having a fundraiser at his home for Chris Christie. But given the New Jersey governor’s penchant for controversial statements, how long until Mark changes this relationship status to “It’s complicated.”

Four U.S. men have now filed class action suits against Subway for fraud over their 11 inch “footlong” sandwiches. If these clowns don’t want to end up paying court costs for frivolous lawsuits they’d better hope no defense lawyer can find ex-girlfriends who might testify to their own exaggerated inches.

Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal yesterday ” We’ve got to stop being the stupid party. It’s time for a new Republican Party that talks like adults.” Looks like he’s racing Chris Christie to see who can get thrown out of the GOP first.


Yankees GM Brian Cashman thinks there’s “a chance” Alex Rodriguez could miss the whole season. Which means the third baseman could come as close to leading New York to another World Championship as he did in 2012.

Explore posts in the same categories: political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized

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2 Comments on “If you’re unhappy and you know it….”

  1. Bill Boyd Says:

    (Totally off-topic) Seen the following, LCSB?: http://deadspin.com/5978810/

  2. TC Says:

    New Orleans Hornets change name to Pelicans. Fans will buy up their underwear with the new logo. Pelican briefs. Their timeouts will be referred to as same.

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