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Try to remember?

May 9, 2017

Remember those days when not paying attention to internet at work meant you just missed out on cat videos & sports scores?

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LaVar Ball now says that even Michael Jordan couldn’t sell shoes for $495. “Because he ain’t Lonzo Ball, that’s why. Did he have his own brand coming in? It’s a new era called the Ball era.”
Damn, I miss the days when LaVar would have been the most outrageous person quoted in the news.

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Time to change U.S. motto from “E pluribus unum” to “mildly nauseated.”

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#JamesComey has been fired by President. Trump’s not showing much gratitude to the man who got him the job.

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So it’s going to be a tough decision for Trump to appoint a new FBI director to replace #Comey: Will it be Ivanka or Jared?

 

#KellyannConway says #Comey‘s firing was “not a cover-up” Guess she’s resurfaced from whatever lifeboat she was pushed into.

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Seems pretty obvious that Trump thinks political cost of firing #Comey will be less than political cost of letting him keep investigating.

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When you’re getting trolled on Twitter by the Nixon library.  “FUN FACT: President Nixon never fired the Director of the FBI

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Qantas CEO laughed it off after he was pied in the face at a conference in Perth. Spirit Airlines CEO would have tried to see if there was a way they could sell pie pieces as onboard snacks.

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Airlines treat passengers like they are less than human, and are then surprised when they act accordingly.

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Jury has reached murder verdict in #SierraLaMar case on DNA evidence, despite no body. California, where we still believe in science!

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If Trump bans all cameras, laptops, Kindles & iPads as carry-ones for intl flights biz travelers & parents could join to demand impeachment.

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In Washington, a tunnel has apparently collapsed at Hanford nuclear waste site. But hey, who needs those burdensome federal safety regulations?

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Is this what it was like to watch the 1962 Mets? @SFGiants

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SF Giants put Melancon on the 10-day DL with a “mild right pronator strain. Well, not like there have been that many games to save.

 

No Tony Parker, no Kawhi Leonard, and Spurs beat Rockets in OT.   Someone check Manu Ginoboli for illicit fountain of youth water.

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Ginobili, after his game of his decade, saved the game for Spurs with a block on Harden. Amazing. He didn’t look a day over 38.

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It’s not easy being green

May 8, 2017

Draymond Green complaining on watching Eastern Conf. playoffs “I thought teams would compete a little harder.” On the eve of the Warriors being about to sweep.

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More Draymond Green complaining  – saying this morning that Kelly Olynyk is a “dirty player.” Well, he should be an expert on the subject.

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Baseball is supposed to be fun, right? @SFGiants

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The grounds crew had to clean up hail from Coors Field before tonight’s Rockies-Cubs game. Now it’s hail? After last night’s 18 inning loss,. Cubs at this point have to next be expecting a plague of locusts.

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Tim Tebow signed a contract extension with ESPN as a college football analyst. This apparently doesn’t affect Tebow’s minor league deal with the Mets. And even if Tebow gets called up, not like the Mets will be playing into the fall anyway.

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New York Jets WR Robby Anderson was apparently arrested for felony “resisting arrest with violence” and an obstruction of justice charge Sunday at a Miami musical festival. Once again, the NFL trying to take NY headlines from the Mets?

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Conflicting stories over if giant rabbit Simon died on United flight from London or if he was frozen upon landing. Somebunny’s going to pay.

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Only way mystery of giant bunny’s death in care of United Airlines could be any more bizarre was if rabbit was named Roger.

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Has there ever been a person who stood up to Trump who he didn’t attack personally afterwards? #SallyYates

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Republicans talking about a witch hunt may be distracted by their tall black hats flopping in their faces.

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Major tweet-storm from @realDonaldTrump on today’s hearings with #SallyYates Seems like someone is veddy veddy angry.

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Twitter is down. Apparently Trump changing his profile header picture to a denial that he had any connections with Russia broke the internet.

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So it’s Obama’s fault Flynn had security clearance in 1st place, but not his credit for warning Trump not to hire him? #WTF #Trumplogic

Well, of course it’s Obama’s fault that Trump hired Flynn. A real leader would have communicated the warning by Twitter.

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What’s the mystery why Trump hired his NSA despite so many warnings? Not hiring Flynn would admit someone knew more than him.

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Reminder today of why #LindseyGraham said “If you killed Ted #Cruz on floor of Senate & the trial was in Senate, nobody would convict you.”

From Marc Ragovin   “Former New York Rangers radio announcer Howie Rose on the French election: Macron!, Macron!, Macron!”

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Uncovered

May 4, 2017

Now, George Hill, Utah’s point guard and second best score, is out.  If this Warriors-Jazz series was a prize fight they would stop it.

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The SF Giants had an off day today after flying for tomorrow’s game against the Reds. Assume manager Bruce Bochy told them all to sit in their Cincinnati hotel and order room service?

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LaVar Ball’s Big Baller Brand has just released their Lonzo Ball signature first shoe – “ZO2: Prime.” for $495, about 3 times the price of many NBA stars’ shoes from Nike, Adidas etc.
So does the shoe come with a shirt for your significant other saying “I’m with stupid?”

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OK, as of 8:30am Friday in London. Americans could stop worrying about news from #BuckinghamPalace & go back to worrying about next @realDonaldTrump tweet.

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#PrincePhilip is retiring. From what?

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Can BuckinghamPalace send out another teaser tonight, maybe one of the Queen’s corgis had puppies? We Americans need the distraction.

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#JayCutler is apparently trying to become an NFL broadcaster. So instead of “Mic drop” will it be “mic intercept?”

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Trump – “No American should be forced to choose between dictates of federal govt & tenets of their faith.” So that includes Muslims?

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Some uproar with new book saying Barack Obama proposed to another woman before Michelle. Meanwhile Trump married 2 others before Melania.

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An Ohio teacher was fired after a photo showed her dragging a child down a school hallway. So maybe she really wants to work for United Airlines?

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A man on an ANA flight from Tokyo to Sydney requested gluten-free meals and for breakfast was served, a banana. US airlines are thinking “And the point is…?

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People Magazine reports that Casey Anthony is “bored out of her mind.” “I feel so sorry for her,” said nobody.

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Who says women don’t know sports? Greta Van Susteren on #AHCA “It’s like claiming victory in a football game at end of 1st quarter or half.”

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All I can figure with GOP house members voting for Trumpcare is they just hope those it hurts die before next election.

 

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Americans w/ mental health issues will have a harder time getting healthcare but easier time getting guns. What could possibly go wrong?

 

Would any adult who doesn’t have SOME preexisting condition please stand up? #IAmAPreexistingCondition

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All Senate needs to do to kill Trumpcare is introduce an amendment saying all members of Congress must use it for healthcare.

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Thanks to Senator Sherrod Brown of Ohio for pointing these out. But hey, if you live a good life you shouldn’t have any of them, right?
“Pre-existing conditions in the new healthcare bill include: AIDS/HIV, acid reflux, acne, ADD, addiction, Alzheimer’s/dementia, anemia, aneurysm, angioplasty, anorexia, anxiety, arrhythmia, arthritis, asthma, atrial fibrillation, autism, bariatric surgery, basal cell carcinoma, bipolar disorder, blood clot, breast cancer, bulimia, bypass surgery, celiac disease, cerebral aneurysm, cerebral embolism, cerebral palsy, cerebral thrombosis, cervical cancer, colon cancer, colon polyps, congestive heart failure, COPD, Crohn’s disease, cystic fibrosis, DMD, depression, diabetes, disabilities, Down syndrome, eating disorder, enlarged prostate, epilepsy, glaucoma, gout, heart disease, heart murmur, heartburn, hemophilia, hepatitis C, herpes, high cholesterol, hypertension, hysterectomy, kidney disease, kidney stones, kidney transplant, leukemia, lung cancer, lupus, lymphoma, mental health issues, migraines, MS, muscular dystrophy, narcolepsy, nasal polyps, obesity, OCD, organ transplant, osteoporosis, pacemaker, panic disorder, paralysis, paraplegia, Parkinson’s disease, pregnancy, restless leg syndrome, schizophrenia, seasonal affective disorder, seizures, sickle cell disease, skin cancer, sleep apnea, sleep disorders, stent, stroke, thyroid issues, tooth disease, tuberculosis, and ulcers. To name a few. “

Categories: GOP jokes, Uncategorized
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Come-y on

May 3, 2017

Mildly nauseous” has now become a pre-existing condition for millions of Americans.

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Should be no place for racial hatred at Fenway Park. Real Red Sox fans know that all hateful comments should be directed at the Yankees.

 

Twenty-one airlines, one-third of the carriers who use the airport, are moving terminals at Los Angeles International,  on May 12-14-16. Good thing LAX is usually a such a calm experience. #whatcouldpossiblygowrong

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Lebron James, angry w/ beer company sending marketing tweet when he picked up bottle during game, indicates he’s a wine guy. Right, spelled w/ an H.

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A travel story headline on Miami rooftop bars “because you didn’t come to Miami to stay indoors.”  Clearly written by someone who’s never been in FL summers.

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A Florida judge called out USF football coach Charlie Strong after a player was charged with “sexual battery and false imprisonment” less than two months after another was charged with aggravated assault. In Strong’s defense is he just showing he’s ready to coach an NFL team?

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Anyone outside of hardcore Spurs & Washington Huskies fans heard of Dejounte Murray? You’re probably about to. #GoSpursGo #TonyParker

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Wouldn’t it be fun if Queen had just decided to troll Trump by making sure that #BuckinghamPalace had early morning headlines for a change?

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Think Trump might start caring about climate change if we could convince him it might damage his golf courses?

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Trump apparently will sign an Executive Order defending “religious liberty” as reason for discrimination. Calling all wiccans!

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So women who practice the Goddess religion will no longer be required to serve men? #LicensetoDiscriminate

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Just because we don’t like to hear Hillary Clinton make excuses doesn’t mean she’s wrong.

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Many complaining about Hillary’s election excuses were fine supporting a man who even wouldn’t promise to accept results if he lost.

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Trump says he will work as “mediator, an arbitrator or a facilitator” to broker peace between Israelis and Palestinians.  Two months from now “who knew that the Mideast could be so complicated?”

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Would #FireColbert be getting less traction with conservatives if Stephen excused his anti-Trump rant as locker room banter?

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Many complaining about Hillary’s election excuses were fine supporting a man who even wouldn’t promise to accept results if he lost.

Categories: airline jokes, baseball jokes, basketball jokes, Uncategorized
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Just do it?

May 1, 2017

So would all these folks mad at Obama for getting $400,000 a speech be less upset if he signed an NBA shoe contract?

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RB Elijah Holyfriend may be suspended from the U Georgia football team after he was arrested and charged with “possession of marijuana of less than an ounce and possession and use of drug related objects.”
You’d think this sort of thing would be a great recruiting tool for Colorado, Washington and Oregon.

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Buster Posey has just doubled his home run total for the year with that solo shot off Kershaw  Now tied with Bumgarner.  #SFGiants

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Brewers OF Ryan Braun is out of the lineup because of “tightness in his right trapezius.” Feeling old. I remember when players didn’t have trapezii.
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Noah Syndergaard on DL & a Met fan tweeted “my wife left me, but this is worse.” Wonder what he’d be tweeting if a SF Giants fan?
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Get out the violins. When asked if the Warriors preferred to play the Clippers or Jazz. Matt Barnes – “No comparison. There’s no nightlife in Utah.” Andre Iguoudala -“The problem with Utah is that you’re just sitting there and your mind is, like, dead, because in L.A., you still got energy for the game.” #seriousfirstworldproblems
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So the San Diego gunman was white, he was shooting at black people around a pool. Many are injured and 1 woman is dead. Where’s the tweet from Trump on this one?
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SCOTUS declined to hear appeal of a California gay conversion therapy ban. Who says there’s zero good news out of Washington? #smallmercies
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Amazing how some of people furious Obama is making $$$ after leaving White House seem to have no problem w/ Trump making $$$ IN White House.
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Apparently more than two-dozen passengers were hurt, some requiring hospitalization, when an Aeroflot flight from Moscow to Bangkok encountered turbulence today.
Not that I wish harm on anyone, well almost anyone, but if you’re flying, not heading to or in the lavatory, and don’t have your seat belt on, well, that IS a wannabe Darwin award. #cantfixstupid
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It’s only May 1st, and Trump bidding for the quote of the month:
“I mean, had Andrew Jackson been a little later, you wouldn’t have had the Civil War. He was a very tough person, but he had a big heart, and he was really angry that he saw what was happening with regard to the Civil War. He said, “There’s no reason for this.” People don’t realize, you know, the Civil War, you think about it, why?” #WTF?
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No idea what Donald Trump’s favorite school subject was. But think we’re pretty sure it wasn’t history. Or for that matter science.
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If Abraham Lincoln was any good at all he’d have gotten the Gettysburg Address down to 140 characters.

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So when are we going to see @realDonaldTrump tweet saying Ulysses S. Grant could have avoided World War I?

 

If Trump really wants to know what Andrew Jackson felt about the Civil War, why doesn’t he ask John McCain, who served with him?

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Sean Spicer on Kim Jong-Un ” he assumed power at a young age… and he’s obviously managed to lead a country forward.” Forward to what? Although in his rivals’ cases maybe into a firing squad… #pagingMelissaMcCarthy

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Is there an outrageous statement contest at the White House we don’t know about? Commerce Secretary Wilbur Ross on Trump’s Mar-a-Lago meeting with China’s President. “Just as dessert was being served, the president explained to Mr. Xi he had something he wanted to tell him, which was the launching of 59 missiles into Syria. It was in lieu of after-dinner entertainment.” And he added “the thing was, it didn’t cost the president anything to have that entertainment.”
Yeah, missiles are entertainment. And they are free…. #WTF?

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“I, Donald J Trump, would have prevented the Civil War, WWI AND WWII. If only they had listened to me.” #TrumpTeachesHistory

 

Categories: baseball jokes, GOP jokes, political jokes, Uncategorized
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Out of here.

April 30, 2017

So in the end for basketball fans in Los Angeles what was the difference between the Lakers and the Clippers?

About two weeks.

(And the Lakers probably have a lottery pick.)

A friend pointed out the Nationals have scored 77 runs this week. The Giants have scored 86 runs this year.

And the Nationals haven’t yet faced the Giants bullpen.

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Thought Anthony Rendon got more RBI’s today SFGiants had in series against Padres.

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Different names, same bullpen. #SFGiants

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Think @SFGiants at this point can sign Crash Davis to get them a rainout tomorrow?  #bulldurham

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The Braves’ Freddie Freeman, tired of playing at Miller Park, referred to it as a “Little League field.” Guessing Freeman is never signing a free-agent deal with the Rockies.

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Meanwhile the Mets are making New York fans look forward to Jets training camp.

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Clippers disappointed their fans today, but saved them from humiliation against Warriors.

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But wasn’t this Game 7 between Clippers and Jazz sort of like final Christians matchup before facing the Lions?

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#Bills fire their GM two days AFTER 2017 NFL draft. #WTF? Another example why Buffalo franchise has been so successful over the years.

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I suppose i get it -$400,000 speeches by Obama make some people on both sides  uncomfortable. But how come we didn’t see this level of  complaints w/ ex-white presidents.  And vice-presidents.  And New York mayors? Etc.

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Trump on Kim Jong-Un “People are saying, ‘Is he sane?’ I have no idea,” Ironically, that’s a question rest of world is asking the US.

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Trump tweets “Democrats, without a leader, have become the party of obstruction.” Justice Merrick Garland would disagree.

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Trump on Trumpcare 2.0  “Pre-existing conditions are in the bill. I mandate it. Has to be.”  Right,  no mention of potential costs of such policies.   Spoken like a man who only got a little $1 million loan from dad.

Reince Preibus -“Changing libel laws “is something that we’ve looked at.” Would it help 1st amendment if media used 2nd? #ifonlytheywerearmed

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Philippines President Rodrigo Duterte, who once called Obama “a son of a whore,” and who said “Hitler massacred three million Jews… there’s three million drug addicts. I’d be happy to slaughter them,” has been invited by Trump for a White House meeting. #heseemsnice

8 shot, some critically, at apartment pool in La Jolla. Shooter reportedly “a white man in brown shorts.” Move along, nothing to see here.

Categories: baseball jokes, basketball jokes, political jokes, Trump jokes
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Tennis love and labor?

April 24, 2017

Serena Williams is back ranked as #1 on the WTA Tour. Or should we say Number 1 1/2?

 

Ben Roethlisberger now says he’s sorry that he stopped listing Findlay, Ohio as his hometown after “Some negative things were said about me by people in this town. I was hurt and I resented that.”
Probably not nearly as much as women he was accused of sexually assaulting resented things.

 

#Dodgers score a run after Derek Law walks Chase Utley w/ .034 batting average. Even Gorkys Hernandez thinks that’s a bad year. #SFGiants.

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Anyone remember the last time we heard Duane Kuiper’s home run call for the SF Giants? Me neither.

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 Christian Arroyo era in SF has begin. He’ll wear #22. In 1986 a rookie did okay w/ that number. And this team needs thrills.  Heck, this team needed a defibrillator.
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Whole Foods says they are going to lower their prices. So are they pre-announcing a Going out of Business sale?
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Kenny G played an impromptu concert aboard Delta flight. And millions of Americans changed their minds on never dragging someone off plane.

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State Dept removed blog post touting Mar-a-Lago as Winter White House. Trump hasn’t said yet which resort he’s using as Summer White House?

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#WTF So we may have govt shutdown over border wall money? Maybe Ivanka or Jared can educate Trump on tunnels, planes & boats?

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Just wonder what would happen if you told IRS, not sending in my tax payment but Mexico will be covering it for me eventually?

 

So congrats to all those who had Canada in “Who will Trump fight next” bingo.

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All these “MAGA” Trump supporters who are so happy about Canadian lumber tariffs do realize it means higher prices for Americans right?

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Sorry but anyone bragging his ratings are bigger “than when the World Trade Center came down” is clearly a sick individual. That is all.

 

(Trump yesterday to the AP, on the size of his…. ratings “It’s the highest for ‘Face the Nation’ or as I call it, ‘Deface the Nation.”
“It’s the highest for ‘Deface the Nation’ since the World Trade Center — since the World Trade Center came down.”
Another moment when he became Presidential? )

 

 

 

TC with the lumber truck to hell  “DJ has just imposed a 20% tariff on Canadian softwood lumber exported to the US. I totally didn’t expect him to get personal on this issue. Anyways,no tariff on Hardwood Lumber? Sad…”

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Bad seed?

April 20, 2017

The Predators are the 1st #8 seed ever in pro sports to sweep #1 seed.  So will someone in Nashville at least write a country song about the Chicago Blackhawks?

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The Indiana Pacers blew a 26 point lead to the Cleveland Cavaliers in game 3 of their playoff series tonight.  Wonder if they got sympathy call from the Atlanta Falcons.

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One of the NFL London games this year will be Browns vs Vikings. Yet again, US disrespects Britain in not sending over professional teams.

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SFGiants were off today. Which means their left fielders got about  as many base hits as on a game day.

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QB DeShone Kizer, on his future in the NFL “Imagine taking Brady’s intellect and Brady’s preparation and putting it on a guy with Cam Newton’s body. Why can’t I be the greatest?”
Well, just maybe you might be held back by that 10 cent head?

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LB Reuben Foster from Alabama said today that at the NFL combine he tested positive for a diluted urine sample, which is considered a positive test of the league’s substance abuse policy.
Foster said it was because he was trying to rehydrate himself after getting food poisoning.
Just once want to hear someone say, “I got caught, I’m sorry.”

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Actually if Berkeley protesters really want to upset AnnCoulter the thing to do is IGNORE HER.

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US is now trying to arrest Julian Assange. Well, sure, now that Wikileaks has served its purpose with Hillary.

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Trump just called #Pavarotti “a good friend of mine.” This Presidency is turning into a Monty Python sketch. “Not dead, sleeping…”

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Just wondering, would Trump be quite as sanguine about North Korea potentially launching nuclear missile if he had homes on West Coast?

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Attorney General Jeff Sessions “amazed judge on an island in Pacific” can stop Trump’s travel ban. Yeah, the foreign country where Obama was born #cantfixstupid

 

Just guessing that #JeffSessions doesn’t have any vacations in Hawaii planned?

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CNN reports that Bill O’Reilly will be paid “tens of millions of dollars” as he exits Fox News because of a “sizable safety net” in his contract. So he’ll be able to settle his future sexual harassment lawsuits.

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Mike Huckabee, during an interview complaining about the media: “You know there’s three things you can’t do. You can’t spit into the wind, you can’t climb a ladder leaning toward you or kiss a woman leaning away from you.”
Uh, sir, you are married. Why would you be talking about kissing women? #familyvalues

Categories: basketball jokes, political jokes, Trump jokes, Uncategorized
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Is that a squirrel on the field?

April 18, 2017

If you are a fan of sports and politics,  Tuesday night was a time for serious temporary ADHD.  NBA playoffs, NHL playoffs, baseball and the Georgia special election.

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For the SF Giants returning to Kansas City for the first time since 2014 playoffs,  the question of the night as the game moved at 1-1 towards extra innings – could they pinch hit Madbum?

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MLB umpires apparently will soon be miked to explain replays. So much for the 30 seconds baseball saved with not having to throw four balls for an intentional walk.

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Carmelo Anthony, who is divorcing his wife La La, reportedly got a gentlemen’s club dancer pregnant while he was married. A shame, but in New York Melo never really seems to have scored to help the team.

 

Now  what is happening in #NBAPlayoffs2017? #Celtics trying to wrest title from #Cavs as league’s most overrated team?

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Adidas apologized for sending an email to customers “Congrats, you survived the Boston Marathon!” Did they hire PR team from Pepsi?

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AP: On day Ivanka dined w/ Pres. of China. her company won approval from Chinese govt for 3 new trademarks. Am sure it’s just coincidence.

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Apparently Fox is going to dump Bill O’Reilly.  Over-under on when O’Reilly accepts a position in the Trump administration?

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Donald Trump signed EO today telling federal agencies to implement the “Buy American, Hire American” policies.
So when will he and Ivanka start doing this at say, Mar-A-Lago and her clothing company.

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CNN reports that the  White House and Pentagon miscommunicated on an aircraft carrier’s location,  as the White House said it was heading towards North Korea, when the Carl Vinson was really heading toward the Indian Ocean.

I think I like not being able to find a battleship better when it’s a children’s game.

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Even in the South, the times, and tastes, they are a changin…. While reading about the Georgia special election in the local Atlanta Journal Constitution, saw an item that a local grilled cheese restaurant is closing, to be replaced by a Poké Bar. And it doesn’t even sell fried poké.

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Marc Ragovin  “hears that United Airlines’ engineers are designing a plane that will reduce drag.”

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Serious note, Facebook killer shot himself. Shame he did murder-suicide in reverse order. But don’t post his name. Post the victim’s  Robert Godwin..

 

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Ouch

April 17, 2017

SF Giants AAA reliever Kyle Crick sustained a concussion in dugout when hit by a foul ball. Was he texting Jeremy Affeldt at the time?

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Just guessing that there aren’t going to be that many game 7s in the first round of the NBA playoffs.

 

If anyone thinks Spurs are boring to watch, they don’t know basketball. And they certainly haven’t watched Kawhi Leonard

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Rape allegations against former 49er Ray McDonald have been dropped after the alleged victim refused to testify. Well, no doubt she had her rea$on$.

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Boeing announces layoffs of hundreds of engineers, after 1800+ “voluntary layoffs.” in March.   Missed Trump tweet taking credit. #Jobsjobsjobs!

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Weeks after a bridge in Atlanta collapsed, another major highway is closed because an underground gas leak caused the fast lane to buckle. But hey, Georgia’s GOP-controlled legislature just passed an income tax cut. Who needs roads? #letthemtakeprivatesplanes

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New Supreme Court Justice Gorsuch asked many questions during oral arguments today. Clarence Thomas – “you can do that?

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Trump  when asked for his message today for North Korea. “They have to behave.” “Back at ya” said most of the world now to the US.

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A Southwest Airlines pilot was arrested at Albany Airport for having a loaded gun in his carry-on at a TSA check point. I think I see a new United Airlines marketing campaign – “We might beat you up but we won’t shoot you.”

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Trump tweeted recommendation today for book “Reasons to vote for Democrats.” The blank book is $9.95. is author giving him cut of profits?

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Mike Pence “We’re going to abandon the failed policy of strategic patience” with North Korea. Anyone but me think “having avoided Nuclear war” is not necessarily a failed policy?

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A dying Oregon man apparently passed away happy  after his ex-wife, who he was friendly enough with, told him Donald Trump had been impeached. #Thatswhatfriendsarefor

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Trump robocall for the Georgia special election; “If you don’t vote tomorrow Ossoff will raise your taxes, destroy your healthcare and flood our country with illegal immigrants.”
Hmm, considering the GOP would still have a solid House majority Jon Ossoff must be a powerful man indeed.

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What a drag

April 14, 2017

Doctor taken off United flight has hired a lawyer. Guessing airline will want to settle rather than dragging the case out.

 

 

Last time #SFGiants came back to win when trailing in 9th inning, Donald Trump was a novelty act after 1 GOP debate. (Sept 15, 2015)

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Eli Manning has now been named tangentially in a alleged scheme by the NY Giants to sell fake game-used memorabilia. His email to the team equipment manager as listed in a court documents. “2 helmets that can pass as game used. That is it. Eli.”
And here we thought Peyton’s Papa John’s and Budweiser Super Bowl plugs were the Manning’s most embarrassing marketing moments.

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Dustin Johnson, who reportedly injured his back falling down stairs at his Augusta rental home, will return to the PGA Tour May 4 at the Wells Fargo Championships. Where presumably his WIlmington, NC, rental home will only be single-story.

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That moment when you see the headline “Heidi and Spencer are going to be parents.” And you think, “who?”

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Only bad thing for most airline passengers w/ #United fiasco. Now all the entitled jerks on board will feel – and act- even more entitled.

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NY police carted away 25 protesters today from Trump Tower. Next time Trump is threatening to use United agents & O’Hare security guards.

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Former Buccaneers WR Louis Murphy yesterday for carrying a loaded gun in a backpack at Tampa airport, while Steelers CG Senquez Golson was arrested for carrying an unloaded Glock in his carry on at Mobile’s airport.
I know these United agents are scary but this is ridiculous.

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Since Trump seems to like “the rocket’s red glare” so much can Jared & Ivanka just hook him up w/ a fireworks company for Mar-A-Lago?

Florida health inspectors cited Mar-A-Lago with 15 food violations this year. Who needs plutonium?

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Jeffery Lord says  that Donald Trump is the “MLK of healthcare.”   More like “I have a nightmare.”

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The Cape May, NJ GOP decided to pull support from Brian McDowell, a NJ Jersey State Assembly candidate after a video surfaced of him at a bar saying to a woman “Let me tell you right now. You should f–k me. It would really be good. Listen, you never know.”
McDowell is staying in the race, maybe hoping for an endorsement from the President?

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After saying yesterday that things were “nasty” and ‘we’re not getting along with Russia at all’,” Trump today tweeted “Things will work out fine between the U.S.A. and Russia. At the right time everyone will come to their senses & there will be lasting peace!’
Gawd, can’t imagine how anyone might think Trump and Putin have a bromance going. #teenagelovespat

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The dollar has fallen in the last two days after comments Trump made to the Wall Street Journal “I think our dollar is getting too strong, and partially that’s my fault because people have confidence in me.”
Is there ANYTHING in the world that isn’t all about him?

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Why is this night different?

April 12, 2017

 

SF Giants win tonight after a rally  started by Matt Cain double. A miracle has occurred. As my son points out, it’s Passover. @SFGiants

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Melvin Upton Jr has signed a AAA contract with the SF Giants. He batted .238 last year with the Padres & Blue Jays. Which right about now would make him the Giants top hitting outfielder not named Hunter Pence.

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Apparently Mark Cuban, who honored Tony Romo before last night’s Mavericks game, wanted to have Romo suit up and maybe even get in the game briefly. But commissioner Adam Silver nixed the idea, and coach Rick Carlisle said he was an “athlete that’s not ready to play in an NBA game.”
Well, heck, that hasn’t stopped the Lakers.

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So many meaningless games at the end of the NBA season.   Differing at least in intensity from the meaningless games during most of the NBA season.

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Some worries now about North Korea having nukes that could reach the West Coast of the U.S. If so, we can only hope Kim Jon-Un fires them towards Dodger Stadium during first inning of a game, so no fans will get hurt. #bustohell

 

Apologizing, finally, United dropped their proposed slogan “Oligarchies mean never having to say you’re sorry.”

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United will refund everyone’s tickets on plane where man was dragged off last Sunday. Will the refunds be less a nominal entertainment fee?

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Trump in a NY Post interview about negative stories in the media “many of those sources are made up and I don’t believe them. Let them reveal their sources.”
Translation, so I can fire them.

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Spicer apologized for Hitler comment, waiting for him also to acknowledge many Jews murdered in Holocaust WERE German, “his own people.”

 

Trump talking about the missile strikes during dinner with China’s President XI. “We had the most beautiful piece of chocolate cake that you’ve ever seen and President Xi was enjoying it. And I was given the message from the generals that ‘The ships are locked and loaded. What do you do?’ And we made the determination to do it, so the missiles are on the way.”
Good to know his priorities are in the right place. Assume the cake was from Trump Grill?

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Lawyers for Summer Zervos, a former “Apprentice” contestant suing Trump for denying that he groped & kissed her on the show, are questioning Donald’s assertion that he is immune from lawsuits as President.
Can someone please interview Paula Jones for her opinion?

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Unboarding group one?

April 12, 2017

On a brighter note for Pepsi they do now stand a good chance of becoming official soft drink of United Airlines.

 

Bad timing award to the #United Airlines billboard near San Francisco International Airport  for POLARIS business class. “O is for out like a light”.

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United employee who kicked the girls off plane for wearing leggings has to be feeling better – “At least I didn’t drag them off.”

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Well, on a brighter note for United, their PR response to “re-accommodating” a passenger will probably reduce their overbooking problem.

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United spokesman Jonathan Guerin today said their infamous flight from O’Hare was not overbooked, but the crew members who were needed in Louisville the next day “were considered ‘must-ride’ passengers.”
Did United forget that almost every single one of their phone agents ends the call by offering “can we book you a Hertz car?”

 

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Buster Posey is on the 7 day concussion disabled list.  Ok. If an Diamondbacks pitcher had to put one of the SF Giants players on DL why couldn’t they have hit an outfielder? #notpence #bustohell

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Russell Westbrook sat out tonight’s Thunder-TWolves game, his first this season. So does this make him too soft for the MVP award?

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Coach Steve Fisher may have never won a championship at San Diego State. But @Spurs fans are very grateful to him & his recruiting.  (Kawhi Leonard, under-rated even in high school)
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Tuesday was #NationalPetDay. And cats are sniffing “Big deal, EVERY day is National Cat Day.”
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Waiting for this tweet – “The Trump shuttle never bumped anyone. But if they had, it would have been biggest best bumping ever.” #United
If Sean Spicer ever gets fired by Trump maybe he can do PR for United Airlines.

Holocaust centers? Hitler did not use gas on his own people? Somewhere Melissa McCarthy is going “I give up.” #SeanSpicer

 

 

Anyone considered that Sean Spicer may not get fired because the way he says things distracts us from what he and Trump actually mean?

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Sean Spicer  on his Hitler remark “It was a mistake to do that.” What, no blaming fake news?

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Syria is a mess. And not saying the missile strike in Syria was the right thing or the wrong thing. But can we imagine the reaction if Hillary had bombed the airfield because mother-of-two Chelsea was upset and pushed her to do it?

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Cue the Gershwin

April 10, 2017

New United Airlines theme song –   “Rhapsody in Black and blue.”

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FCC dropped a proposal that would have allowed passengers to use cellphones in flight. Who says there’s no bipartisan agreement in the US?

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Wintry weather tonight in Chicago. Blame whoever said hell would freeze over before they raised a championship banner at Wrigley. @Cubs

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Seriously considering long light-less history of #WrigleyField you’d think Cubs might honor history with a day home opener #followthemoney

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Over 100 year drought for a #Cubs World Series win. Thanks to TV scheduling and rain many kids will be in bed before that flag is raised.

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SF Giants Jarrett Parker has a batting average. You know it’s been bad when .071 (bingo) is an improvement. #SFGiants

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LB Junior Galette was arrested after a fight during a Spring Break festival in Biloxi, MS. He was charged with disorderly conduct and failure to comply.
Normally the Redskins wait until they get on the field to be this embarrassing.

 

Not that I really wish him any harm. But I sure don’t mind seeing Sergio Romo lose a game in a Dodgers uniform for a change.

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4 shot, 2 fatally in #SanBernandino school shooting. Not “terrorism” just average US domestic gun incident. Move along nothing to see here.

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An 8 yr-old boy shot this morning in a San Bernandino classroom has died. Clearly this would not happen if our children were armed.

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The biggest problem with all these murder-suicides is that these asshole killers always do it in the wrong order. #SanBernardino

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Alabama Gov. Robert Bentley resigned today after he was arrested on campaign finance charges. Moral of story, if you’re going to be a family values Republican, have affairs on your own dime. #DavidVitter

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Sean Spicer, “if you gas a baby, expect a response.” So other ways of killing babies are acceptable?

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The @NYTImes & @ProPublica both won a #PulitzerPrize. Standby for Pulitzers overrated tweets in 3.2.1….

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Bubba Watson apologized after missing the cut at the Masters and telling a reporter “Golf is tough; I don’t know if you’ve ever played it. But writing articles is easy.”
Nobody tell Trump, in his spare time he’ll start a magazine.

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Donald Trump Jr. has announced he will not run for NY governor in 2018. And he could have gotten at least 20% of the vote.

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Right about now it might be almost as easy to defend the Trump White House on MSNBC as to do PR for United.

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Did someone tell United the man was wearing leggings?

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So after weekend’s incident will United change policy on removing people from overbooked flights? Smaller people first. Easier to carry.

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New potential advertisement for the United credit card? Priority boarding, a free checked bag & we won’t drag you off the plane?

 

From “careerbliss.com” – O’Hare International Airport Security Officers earn $25,000 annually, or $12 per hour, which is 4% lower than the national average for all Security Officers at $26,000 annually and 84% lower than the national salary average for all working Americans.
An Airport Security Officer was apparently responsible for dragging that passenger off United’s flight. #yougetwhatyoupayfor

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Seriously, and I wasn’t there, but if United was giving $800 plus a hotel and meals to get off the plane, you’d think they’d have upped the ante and tossed in a rental car..
It’s a 5 hour drive for heavens sake, even with a bathroom break.

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I see a great Lyft or Uber commercial…. for $800 guessing you could get driven to Louisville.

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One more practical thought  -okay, any halfway decent travel agent knows something about Louisville. Especially if you’ve ever booked anyone to a certain Derby in Kentucky. It’s 90 minutes from Lexington and 2 hours from Cincinnati. (United flies to both from Chicago) So a relatively easy drive if you fly crew or passengers there. #MakeAmericaGeographicallyCompetentAgain.

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On the other hand, perhaps we should thank United. For a brief not-to-shining moment they have “united” Americans in outrage.

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It’s not easy being green

April 9, 2017

 

Sergio Garcia,, who’s been playing golf professionally for almost 20 years, finally won his first major tournament.

“Amateur” said Cubs fans.

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Uh oh, #Cubs win World Series, #Trump wins election & now #MapleLeafs make NHL playoffs. Maybe we really do need to prepare for apocalypse

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Uh oh, a Spaniard wins the Masters, and Englishman Justin Rose was second. Time for Trump to impose visa limits on foreign golfers?  Make American Golfers Great Again?

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So how long until Trump tweets that #TheMasters is all well and good but Augusta really can’t hold a candle to Trump courses?

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So how long until Tiger Woods returns to the Masters as a commentator?

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Mariners proved proved today that whatever SF Giants problems are this year, bullpen meltdowns are relative. (9-3 lead to Angels blown in 9th.)

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A Palm Sunday miracle has occurred. SF Giants left fielder has a base hit.  (first of the season, only took 7 games)

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Mike Krukow says “If you have a home run in the big leagues you can hit.” Some of us long-time baseball fans going, uh Mickey Lolich.  (He hit one home run, in the 1968 World Series. Not even sure he knows how.)

(And as my friend Daniel says, for you young folks, Bartolo Colon.)

 

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Cavs blew a 26th-point 4th quarter lead to the Hawks.  So do Atlanta sports fans feel a little better?  #notexactly

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Alas, anyone who works in a customer service field who saw last night’s #LouisCK hotel monologue on SNL knows he wasn’t exaggerating.

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NFL players James Harrison, NaVorro Bowman & Marshawn Lynch may face league discipline for being scheduled to participate in the Pro Football Arm Wrestling Championship in Las Vegas this weekend.
Joe Lockhart, NFL executive VP for communications & public affairs – “Had we been asked in advance if this was acceptable, we would have indicated that it was in direct violation of the gambling policy,”
Well, heck, heaven forbid anyone ever associates pro football with gambling.

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It would be nice to wake up some morning these day without bad news.” – The World. #Egypt

 

 

Apparently a Russian computer programmer, Pyotr Levashov, who has been suspected of being involved in U.S. election hacking attacks, has been arrested in Barcelona.
Wonder what the odds are of him dying of “natural causes” while in custody.

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Giants chicks don’t dig these long balls.

April 6, 2017

 

Jeff Samardzija somehow only gave up 24 home runs in 2016. Given 32 starts now on pace for 96 in 2017. #SFGiants

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In first 3 games,  SF Giants left fielders are 0-15 w/ nine Ks. Over-under on how many times Madbum has to offered to pinch hit?

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Kentucky sophomore Isaiah Briscoe has announced he will leave school for the NBA draft. Shocking many college basketball fans – One of Calipari’s Kentucky teams had a sophomore?

 

So can the LA Kings honor Don Rickles by putting his picture on a giveaway hockey puck?

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Can just imagine things tonight “You call this heaven? Those pearly gates are really looking tired.” #DonRickles

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RIP #DonRickles. Wonder if realizing he couldn’t keep up with Trump on insults finally killed him.

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The post Tiger Woods era. Headline “World’s #1 Player Drops out of Masters.” And millions of Americans go “Who?” #Masters

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#RyanHoward has signed a minor-league contract with Braves in hopes of making it back to big leagues. Hmm, about that SF Giants left field problem. Just how retired is #25?

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Just think how much fun he’ll be w/Lonzo in NBA. You can’t win no championship w/ 3 white guys..foot speed is too slow’ – LaVar Ball on UCLA

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Two week vacation for @TheDailyShow. This is not good. When Jon Stewart left we got Trump. #Whatsnext?

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Presale for “The Classic” concert Friday with the Eagles, Fleetwood Mac, Steely Dan, Journey, Earth, Wind & Fire and The Doobie Brothers runs from 10a to 10p. Wonder if there’s an early-bird special?

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Trump-“The world is a mess. I inherited a mess!” Guess somebody didn’t read too far down in the President job description.

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Russia’s Supreme Court has upheld banning Jehovah’s Witnesses as an extremist group. Who says there’s no USA-Russia common ground?

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The US just launched 50 Tomahawk cruise missiles against Syria. So did Trump push all the buttons or did he let Jared do it?

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Meanwhile, back at home, the night before “Equal Pay Day,” Trump signed an executive order canceling an Obama policy requiring federal contractors to give equal treatment to women. But Donald no doubt feels sure that when he creates more jobs for men, women won’t need to work?

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Trump defends O’Reilly, but had Bill Clinton’s accusers at Presidential debate. Guess it’s only harassment if a Democrat does it.

 

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A Secret Service agent was suspended for allegedly meeting a prostitute in a Maryland hotel. What is this world coming to? These men are supposed to protect the President and they can’t even figure out Tinder?

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Wednesday was  National Burrito Day.    Waiting for Trump to tweet taking credit for all the cheap gas.

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So now that a simple majority is enough for a win how do we do a retroactive Nuclear Option on the Electoral College

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The GOP does realize the Nuclear Option could eventually go both ways, right?

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Stay classy Ann Coulter, who tweeted today “Gen. Michael Hayden: N Korea will make nuke capable of hitting Seattle! Situation will be dire as soon as they can hit a city worth saving.”
Just guessing Ann might not want to venture into her local Starbucks any time soon.

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More classy. The NY Times reports after the 2nd Presidential debate that Trump sent a personal email to Jeff Zucker, the President of CNN “Jeff — Too bad you (CNN) couldn’t be honest with how well I did in the debate. The dumbest thing I ever did was get you the job at CNN — you are the most disloyal person. Just remember, I always seem to find a way to get even. Best wishes, Donald J. Trump.”
Question of the day, who will Trump attack first for this “leak” – the NYTimes or CNN?

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First in war, first in peace….

April 3, 2017

Nationals are undefeated when Trump avoids the stadium. Coincidence?

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So it was a rough ending to game one for Giants fans. But this morning’s MLB leaderboard still is one for the ages.

leaderboard

 

By Aug MLB players will be dinged up & desperate for a break. ESPN does Opening Day for six teams then gives them off day. Prioritie$

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And of course Santiago Casilla gets the save for Oakland As tonight. Baseball is a funny game. Though SFGiants fans aren’t really laughing

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Good news for Atlanta baseball fans, #Braves have a new stadium. Bad news, Braves have the same old players.

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Trump’s obsession with Hillary is as if Cubs this spring were ranting about Indians supposedly stealing signs.

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If @MLB was like the @EnglishPremier league the Padres would have been relegated to AAA a long time ago.

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Refs tonight clearly spent as much time in officiating school as some former North Carolina players spent in class. #NationalChampionship

 

If fans really wanted to watch an hour of free throws they’d tune into last five minutes of an @NBA game.

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The Wizards are upset that the Warriors, leading 137-115, tried to shoot a three with the clock running out. Now, was it great sportsmanship by Golden State, no, but Washington really should be more upset that they had gotten down 22 points.

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Trump mantra for the first 100 days “If at first you don’t succeed, make something else up.”

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Trump was golfing again today. But maybe we shouldn’t complain. Golfing is probably one of least dangerous things he does.

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Just imagine if President Obama had constantly touted MSNBC as being more knowledgeable than FBI & US intelligence agencies.

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The FAA has cleared Harrison Ford, 74, after he mistakenly landed a small plane on a taxiway at Orange County Airport, barely missing an American AIrlines 737, and he will be allowed to keep his pilot’s certificate.
So having flown the Millennium Falcon means never having to say “I’m sorry, take my keys?

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Trump calls for $1.6 billion cuts to Interior Dept but donates $74k of salary to National Park Service. Next will he donate $100 to PBS?

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Trump playbook. Make up a story, spread it around, then complain the media isn’t covering it. Lather rinse repeat. #wiretapping #SusanRice

 

Might be faster & simpler at this point to list the attractive women at Fox  News Bill O’Reilly hasn’t (allegedly) harassed.

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The end of the beginning.

March 30, 2017

Interesting how the pre-seasons for MLB and NBA are ending about the same time.

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So at what point do TV executives start worrying about a potental Warriors or Spurs vs Raptors Wizards or Celtics @NBA final?
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Meanwhile,  CBS executives waking up in the middle of the night with visions of Oregon–South Carolina.
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Albert L. Lord, a Penn State trustee reportedly wrote in an email that he is “running out of sympathy for 35 yr old, so-called victims (of Jerry Sandusky) with 7 digit net worth… Do not understand why they were so prominent in trial.”
Okay, what’s more unbelievable, that the guy actually thinks this, or that he’s stupid enough to put it in an email?
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#NeverAskAWoman If she’s REALLY fine. If she says she’s “fine” you’re already toast.
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So how long until Hawaii starts a tourism campaign advertising a “Trump-free” vacation? #Hawaiiboycott
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McDonald’s says they will start making their Quarter-Pounders w/ fresh beef. So is this a change that the meat is fresh or that it’s beef?
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Mike Pence is so pure he can’t be alone w/ any woman who isn’t his wife. But he has no problem being VP for a pussy-grabber.    Priorities.
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Mike Pence won’t have dinner alone w/ a woman. Sir, I think I speak for millions of US women – “Your virtue is safe with us.” #notinterested
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So the way Trump, Pence & rest of GOP are talking about women now, can only assume the witch trials commence by summer?
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Trump’s now upset at some of his own party. “The Freedom Caucus will hurt the entire Republican agenda if they don’t get on the team, & fast. We must fight them, & Dems, in 2018!”
So would Trump like to put out a list of who he thinks IS on his team? Besides Ivanka and Jared.
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As Trump says “We must fight” the Freedom Caucus and the Dems, paraphrased question of the day “Who’s we, orange man?
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Trump attacks @NYtimes, wants to “change libel laws.” Amazing how someone so in love w/ 2nd amendment can so disregard the 1st.
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Trump apparently threatened Mark Sanford with a Congressional primary challenger if he didn’t vote for Trumpcare. Never thought it could be done – but someone has put Mr. Appalachian Trail on the moral high road.
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#MikeFlynn reportedly to testify ff granted immunity. Remember when these Russian espionage movies required scriptwriters? #passthepopcorn

Trump loves to talk about loyalty. But he basically fired #MikeFlynn. I’m sure Flynn didn’t take it personally. #passthepopcorn

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Now that we’re officially in Spring, time to start a pool on which of his resorts Trump will dub the “Summer White House?  (assuming he makes it to Summer.)

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Going, going, not quite gone.

March 28, 2017

The Raiders sent out an email today to Season Ticket Holders offering to let them put down a deposit on tickets in Las Vegas.

 

Isn’t this sort of like your significant other telling you he/she is leaving you for someone else as soon as they get their home built, but she’d love to have you come to the housewarming party.

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A Nevada brothel owner today said he will open a Raiders-themed bordello in 2020. Meaning that unlike Oakland fans, new Las Vegas fans of the team can at least get value for money while being screwed.

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Average high temperature in Las Vegas in September, 95%, down from a 103% in August. But hey, fire up those grills for tailgates. #Raiders

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As Raiders prepare to pack up & move, a good time to remember that #SFGiants just paid off their PRIVATELY FUNDED stadium.

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Lonzo Ball and Markelle Fultz are likely to be the top 2 chosen in the 2017 NBA draft. Today in an interview, Ball said he can “lead a team better, and that “Markelle’s a great player, but I feel I’m better than him.”
Sounds like the apple doesn’t swagger far from the tree.

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The world’s largest dinosaur footprint just found in ‘Australia’s Jurassic Park’. Was it from a pickup game involving Tim Duncan?

 

Heard a commercial for FanDuel fantasy golf. Thinking if you seriously play fantasy golf for money you just might have a gambling problem.

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White House says Trump turned down invite from #Nationals to throw out 1st pitch Opening Day. Bummer. Would have been Bigliest boos ever.

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Has it occurred to anyone in Trump administration that Mexico builds tunnels a lot faster than we could build a wall?

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Bill O’Reilly insulted Maxine Waters’ hair. Can someone get Bill drunk and ask him what he really thinks of Donald Trump’s hair?

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Johnny Carson as Carnac would do answers first, then questions. An old favorite -“UCLA.” The question – “What happens when smog clears over Los Angeles?”
Doesn’t seem so funny when Trump signs an executive order getting rid of regulations for clean-air.

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President signs  EO gutting fed regulations against climate change. If global warming floods FloridaL could it please start with a Trump golf course?.

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#TrumpAFamousQuote “Loving myself means never having to say I’m sorry.”

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Supreme Court ruled 9-0 w/ Paula Jones & Clinton that Pres could be sued. Trump now filing motion to overturn. #Fakecourt tweet in 3.2.1…

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CNN reports Sean Spicer refused to say who signed Nunes onto the White House grounds late at night, “as would be required protocol.”
Standby for the Trump Executive Order outlawing “required protocol.”

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The GAO (Government Accountability Office) is apparently going to look into security costs for Trump’s Mar-A-Lago trips and see if he, as promised, is paying the treasury for profits his hotels make from foreign government visits.
Standby for Trump signing an EO to defund the GAO in 3.2.1….

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Quote of the day “There was a very serious effort made by Mr. Putin and his government, his organization, to interfere in major ways with our basic, fundamental democratic processes. In some quarters that would be considered an act of war.”
But who listens to crazy liberals like Dick Cheney?

 

Checkpoint Charlie museum honors those who died trying to scale the Berlin wall for a better life. Will Mexico build museum if Trump ever builds his wall?

 

 

Lonzo Ball and Markelle Fultz are likely to be the top 2 chosen in the 2017 NBA draft. Today in an interview, Ball said he can “lead a team better, and that “Markelle’s a great player, but I feel I’m better than him.”
Sounds like the apple doesn’t swagger far from the tree.

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Cavalier treatment

March 27, 2017

It’s beginning to look possible that even without Tim Duncan the San Antonio Spurs are a pretty good basketball team.

(San Antonio 103- Cleveland 74.)

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San Antonio assistant coach Becky Hammon apparently turned down the head coaching job with the women’s basketball team at the University of Florida. Clearly the idea of a woman coach staying in their locker room didn’t hurt the Spurs too badly tonight against the Cavs.

 

Looking at way UConn women are cutting a swath through their NCAA tournament you almost wonder if they should have been seeded w/ the men.

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#Raiders moving to Vegas. Still may be cheaper for Oakland fans to fly to Las Vegas for a game than buy tickets in #Warriors new SF arena.

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Jed York, on the Raiders move “I don’t think it’s a big win for the 49ers.” Well, yeah, Oakland fans have gotten used to watching a professional team.

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Only vote against #Raiders move came from #Dolphins. Did Miami owner have dreams of moving to Vegas himself?

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Being a San Francisco Bay Area fan of the Saints and Spurs, there are some advantages: Teams can’t break your heart by moving out of town. The SF Giants on the other hand, better stay put.

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Cleveland LT Joe Thomas says no one has signed Colin Kaepernick for this year because he’s a “distraction.” Hmm, the way the Browns play guessing their fans could use all the distractions they can get.

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Now it comes out that Nunes says he was on the White House grounds the day before revealing Trump surveillance info. because he was just looking for a safe place to go over the information.
If this were a movie script it might be rejected as too unbelievable.

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I will believe airlines have a real dress code first time they kick some man off flight for wearing inappropriate clothing

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The Dow is down for an 8th straight day. #WWTB – Who will Trump blame?

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The Trump administration wants $1 billion funding just to cover 62 miles of their proposed border wall. $1 billion?! All of a sudden California’s proposed high-speed rail is looking like a bargain.

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Jeff Sessions says “sanctuary cities must end.” So anyone who wants protection after committing a crime better join Trump administration.

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Now Tomi Lahren has been suspended permanently from the Blaze for saying she was pro-choice. So has her slippery slope to liberalism begun?

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In Russia, opposition leader Alexei Navalny was sentenced today Monday to 15 days in jail and fined $350 for leading anti-govt protests in Moscow. Wonder if Trump has called Putin saying “How do you do that?”

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Maybe you should dance like there’s nobody watching. but that doesn’t mean you should govern that way.

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