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Winter is coming, but isn’t fall coming first?

July 16, 2017

Is it un-American not to care about Game of Thrones? Asking for a friend.

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SF Giants are having a Game of Thrones night Thursday.  Giants fans would like offense to stop regularly having Night of the Living Dead nights.

 

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Executive V.P. Billy Beane says Oakland plans to rebuild & be competitive when A’s have new ballpark. Will it be named “Flying Pig” field?

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Jeff Samardzija is rumored to be on trade block. Were those 7 runs on 2 home runs in four innings today his way of telling team he’d rather stay in San Francisco?

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Roger Federer, 35, won Wimbledon this year without losing a set. Imagine how good he’ll be when he really hits his prime.

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Houston Texans rookie RB D’Onta Foreman was arrested in Austin this morning and charged with marijuana possession and unlawful carrying of a firearm. Shocking, there’s a way to illegally carry a gun in Texas?

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An Allegiant Airline flight from Florida to Indiana had to turn around after its air conditioning malfunctioned. The horror – they couldn’t charge an air conditioning surcharge.

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Cruz’s Trumpcare amendment is like car insurance that in case of a major injury accident would cover new tires and some Band-aids.

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Forget how long until Trump’s travel expenses eclipse Obama’s. How long until Trump’s LEGAL expenses eclipse Obama’s travel expenses?

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Media, FBI, CIA, CBO, Secret Service… pretty sure only people Trump trusts are related to him. And he’s not sure about Tiffany.

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Trump maintains no one told him about Russia meeting. But if they didn’t think it was illegal, why WOULDN’T they tell him?

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Lawyer Jay Sekulow on Russia meeting “if this was nefarious, why Secret Service allowed these people in” He means Trump himself attended?

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So did @realDonaldTrump notice at #USWomensOpen at his golf club, not a US woman in the top ten? #MAGA?

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Would be childish to say of course #AnnCoulter was upset w/ Delta for seat change, even their extra legroom doesn’t compare to her broom.

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Just wondering, if Ann Coulter is so successful and is selling so many books, why was she flying coach in the first place?

 

As Ann Coulter fans rant, waiting for new @Delta ad. “Fly with us to experience a far-right free zone.”

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California Congressman Ted Lieu with a bid to win the internet this week.  “For Made in America week, let’s remember that Nixon used American labor to steal from DNC. He didn’t outsource it to the Russians.”

 

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Colin Kaepernick is looking better and better…

June 27, 2017

Vince Young, upset that he hasn’t been signed this year by an NFL team, is complaining that other “garbage” QBs have jobs and he doesn’t. “I hate to name-drop, but [Ryan] Fitzpatrick is still playing!? He leads the league in interceptions, and he’s still f—— getting paid? I mean, what the f— is going on?”
Well, and who would turn down a chance to have a backup QB with that kind of positive attitude in their locker room?

 

A rare bit of good news for  SF Giants.  Madison Bumgarner not only making rehab start in Sacramento – he’s taking batting practice. #pitcherswhorake

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Must have been a slow news day in Boston – TSA found a 20-pound live lobster in checked luggage at Logan Airport. Apparently this is legal as long as the crustacean is properly packaged. But how long until someone tries to avoid checked bag fees by calling their lobster a service animal?

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In Florida, a man spent 90 days in jail because cops suspected he had cocaine in his truck, which a lab eventually confirmed was white powdered drywall. Of course, since this was Florida suppose the guy has to be grateful he wasn’t shot.

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Rick Perry got to the  White House press podium today and seemed like he wanted to stick around. Will he come up w/ 2-3 good reasons why he should be Press Secretary?

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A woman is suing a Manhattan bar after she tore her ACL because she said they allowed her to ride their mechanical bull while “visibly intoxicated.”
Isn’t being “visibly intoxicated” a requirement for riding mechanical bulls?#Darwinwouldbeproud

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Bruce Bochy with the baseball quote of the year after a Fox Sports story indicating closer Mark Melancon’s ending a stretching session is part of the SF Giants problem this year -. “It’s pole vaulting over mouse turds.”

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A flight at a Shanghai airport was delayed after an elderly lady threw coins into the engine for good luck. Your move, Florida.

(Don’t tell people going on Disney rides.)

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GOP to delay Trumpcare vote until after July 4. If they delay more than 63 days do they have to wait 6 months to try again?

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New owners of Toronto Trump Intl Hotel & Tower made deal to have Trump name taken off property. Many wish White House could make same deal.

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Ivanka Trump  “I try to stay out of politics” That’s why she chose to leave her business & kids to be “senior advisor to President of US? #WTF?

 

Pretty amazing that the President who continually rails against “Fake News” retweeted FOUR items from “Fox and Friends” this morning.

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Battle of the aged?

June 25, 2017

John McEnroe – Serena Williams would be “about 700 on men’s tour.” Sounds like someone has wishful thoughts about a sequel to Riggs-King.

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Of  course, right about now I’d put money on Serena, 7 or 8 months pregnant.  Or heck, she could probably dispatch him between contractions.

 

Right about now #SFGiants seriously need to recruit Crash Davis and Annie Savoy.

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Hunter Pence is thrown out stealing second with the Giants down 2 runs,  in a first and third, two out situation with Belt up.  Joe Panik gets doubled off 2nd when Posey pops-out.  Takes lot of creativity to lose this consistently. #SFGiants

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The Mets promoted Tim Tebow to their high-A , Port St. Lucie (Fla.) Minor League team. Alas for Tim, with this weekend’s series over it’s already too late in the year for him to have a chance of facing SFGiants pitching.

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Adam Schiff says now that President Obama should have done more about Russian election hacking. Hindsight is 20-20, but remember, everyone thought Hillary was going to win easily, especially after the “pussy tapes.”
And with Donald Trump talking “rigged” election and not promising to accept the results, can we seriously think what would have happened if Obama came out and said Russia was trying to get Trump elected?

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Lara Trump – “Republican Party is becoming the only party of tolerance here in the United States.” #nopunchlineneeded

 

 

Trump today on “Fox and Friends” admitted he called the House health care bill “mean” And then claimed that Obama only said the same thing because HE had done so first – “He used my term – “mean.”
When you look under “petty” in the dictionary…. #sorestwinnerever

 

Trump said Obama stole his “mean” term for the healthcare bill. How long until Trump claims he & not Al Gore invented the internet?

 

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John McEnroe – Serena Williams would be “about 700 on men’s tour.” Sounds like someone has wishful thoughts about a sequel to Riggs-King.

 

Think a healthcare solution might be just to allow Trump to rename Obamacare “Trumpcare?” Then he might call it best in world.

 

 

From T.C.   “QB Vince Young has been placed on waivers by the CFL Saskatchewan Roughriders. In related news, Colin Kaepernick has Googled Saskatchewan.”

 

 

 

 

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Buying time.

June 22, 2017

LaVar Ball says that Lonzo will “take the Lakers to the playoffs in his first year.” So is he buying them tickets?

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White Sox and Twins started a game after 4 hr & 50 min rain delay. 4 hours & 50 min!? That’s almost as long as average Red Sox Yankees game.

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Derek Jeter apparently has told Major League Baseball he is looking for other investor as he still doesn’t have enough money to buy the Marlins.
Well, he can always make up the money in a year by charging Yankee Stadium beer prices.

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Cubs sending struggling World Series star Kyle Schwarber to Triple-A. Can #SFGiants do that with (almost) their entire team?

 

In last week #SFGiants have had games where they scored, 8, 9 and 11 runs. And they lost all three.

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Bill Cosby wants to do a series of town halls to tell young people how to avoid being charged with sexual assault. Step 1- become a big celebrity.

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Los Angeles police arrested a man and his son for allegedly keeping 44 pounds of cocaine at their unlicensed day care. What was their first clue…. a really really bouncy house?

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#PlannedParenthood defunded, coverage for Viagra remains. You’d almost think GOP #HeathcareBill was put together by old white men.

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Since Trumpcare cuts Medicaid it’s a good thing that contraception is covered so fewer poor people will be born…. Oh wait, never mind.

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A man from the Bronx was arrested yesterday at JFK Airport before he boarded a flight to Istanbul, allegedly to join ISIS. #Wearegoingtoneedabiggertravelban?·

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Trump has chosen a site for his big DC re-election fundraiser- the Trump hotel. “I’m shocked,” said nobody.

Trump finally says there are no tapes on day GOP Trumpcare abomination bill is revealed. I’m sure it’s just a coincidence.

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In Feb. #Trump gave a jobs speech at Boeing in South Carolina. Today, plant announced they would lay off 200. Surely this is Obama’s fault

 

Trump announced Jamie McCourt, former co-owner of the Los Angeles will be the U.S. ambassador to Belgium. Hasn’t the country suffered enough?

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So time for one of my serious comments : Darryl Hamilton was killed two years ago yesterday, June 22, 2015, shot in a murder-suicide by an estranged ex-girlfriend, the mother of his youngest son. She had pleaded guilty in 2008 to felony arson for burning her ex-husband’s house down in 2006… after trying to douse him in gasoline. She received 10 years probation, which prohibited her from having a gun, but a judge terminated it early in 2010, so the weapon she used was legal.

Didn’t know Hamilton that well, but he was in my experience a thoughtful, funny really nice guy who liked talking sports AND politics.  Adored his kids.  Didn’t always adore United Airlines, though he was good humored about it –  a fun and down to earth client.  He was liked, even beloved by others in baseball who knew him well.  And his ex was clearly a disturbed woman.

Laws don’t prevent all crimes. But in this country it is way too damned easy to get a gun. Period. #whenwillweeverlearn

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Barely getting by

June 19, 2017

Kevin Durant is reportedly going to turn down a $28 million  player option & sign for $24 million to help Warriors keep Iguodola.    How will he feed his family?

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As SF Giants stumble again vs Braves, wonder any way they can reschedule later this week to face teams in College World Series. #fairerfight

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Oracle Team USA is getting beaten badly in this year’s America’s Cup. Most Americans are thinking “Wow… what America’s Cup?

 

Martin Shkreli wants judge to cut his bail from $5 million to $2 million. What a great time for PharmaBro to get lesson in market pricing.

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Jet Airways is giving free travel for life for to a baby born on one of their flights. Is this really a good idea? Can only imagine how many 8-plus months pregnant women suddenly get an urge to fly.

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Sorry to hear of the sad death of Otto Warmbier, 22. Apparently though his father said he went to North Korea with a Chinese tour operator who used slogans like “This is the trip your parents don’t want you to take!”
Sometimes, yes, your parents are right.

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Since Trump is so against radical religious terrorism of course he tweeted about awful #FinsburyPark attack. Oh, wait, never mind.

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Murder of Muslim teenager in VA will not be investigated as hate crime. Sigh. Have to wonder, what if undocumented person kills a Muslim?

(I wrote this Monday morning. As it turns out, her killer might turn out to be an illegal alien.  On top of how awful and sad her death is, this is really going to make some GOP heads explode.)

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7 injured when a fight broke out on Myrtle Beach and man pulled out gun & started firing. Guess we have to reset US mass shooting clock to 0

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If  Sean Spicer is fired, what makes us think Trump will even feel the need to replace him with another press secretary?   #whoneedsthepress?

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Got to wonder why Trump went to #CampDavid for just one night. Maybe to see if there were any traces of the Obamas he could remove?

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Never could get into the Harry Potter series, (gasp,) But may have to try again. JK Rowling tweeted a screen shot of a headline from the Daily Mail, which called the Finsbury Park attacker a “white van driver.”
Her comment “The Mail has misspelled ‘terrorist’ as ‘white van driver Now let’s discuss how he was radicalised.”

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Kellyann Conway, about Trump’s tweet that he was being investigated, said that was just his way of saying “Wow, look at the irony here.'”
Uh, with all due respect, does anyone in the planet think Trump knows what irony is? Unless he thinks it’s an adjective like coppery or silvery.

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Trump- “#PanamaCanal is doing quite well. I think we did a good job building it.” Now will he want Trump name on the Canal too?

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When you are proud of something, you show it off, a new dress, a new baby, a new healthcare bill….#HoldtheFloor

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Giant downer.

June 18, 2017

 

In a good year for SF Giants it’s every day a different hero. In 2017 it’s every day a different goat.

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Will all these  Giants fans who have been saying “It could be worse” please stop.

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But at least the SF Giants didn’t give away their entire farm system to get  Melancon last year before the playoffs.

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This SF Giants  season would be so much easier to take if there were a big name number 1 draft pick at the end of it.

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Oops.  When Brooks Koepka won the US Open, he kissed his girlfriend. And Joe Buck identified her as Becky Edwards. Except Edwards was his OLD girlfriend, he is currently dating Jena Sims.   Normally when Buck is that embarrassing, baseball is involved. #wannagetaway #whatthebuck

 

 

Jim Harbaugh will make Barack & Michelle Obama honorary captains for Michigan home game. Standby for “Loser Wolverines” tweets in 3.2.1.

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25 people injured, some critically when a deck collapsed at a Montana resort. Regulations may kill jobs, but a lack of regulations can kill people.

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Remember when Bill Clinton was criticized for “selling” the Lincoln Bedroom? Trump at least won’t do that, makes more $$$ from his hotels.

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North Korea’s state-run news agency claimed US officials, “literally mugged” its delegation at JFK by “forcibly” taking away “a diplomatic package from the delegation by an illegal and heinous act of provocation.”
So what happened, did TSA confiscate Kim Jong-Un’s favorite shampoo?

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Cuba now has more than half a million people who are working independently outside the state-run economy, with restaurants, AirBnb etc. Now independent American travelers won’t be able to visit the island, only rich people on expensive tours.
And Trump says his actions will benefit the Cuban people with a straight face.

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Sorry, if you’re offended by Shakespeare you should also be offended by Caitlin Jenner joking that “liberals can’t even shoot straight.”

 

We didn’t need #FinsburyParkMosque attack to show us terrorism is terrorism, regardless of religion or beliefs. But it’s a sad reminder.

 

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Super and not so super teams.

June 15, 2017

Kevin Durant is insisting Warriors are not a “super team.” Does that mean they want to sign another All-Star for next season?

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Jerry West  leaving Warriors for Clippers. Maybe he wants a challenge. Or maybe West just wants to start taking the month of June off.

 

Have been making sarcastic comments about SF Giants looking like 1962 Mets. At this point the 1962 Mets are looking like an upgrade.

 

Still,  why baseball is greatest game, example #3425. In blowout game against Rockies, SF Giants forced to pinch-hit starting pitcher forced to pinch-hit Ty Blach & he gets RBI single.

 

Why baseball is greatest game, example #3426.  SF Giants come back to tie 9-9 being down 9-1 against Rockies  &  Jeff Samardzija pinch hits.

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And then the Giants lose, 10-9.  The best of times, the worst of times.

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The NCAA D1 Committee on Infractions has put Louisville’s men’s basketball team on probation and suspended coach Rick Pitino for 5 games over a sex-for-pay scandal – “Without dispute, NCAA rules do not allow institutional staff members to arrange for stripteases and sex acts for prospects, enrolled student-athletes and/or those who accompany them to campus,”
Wonder how many other programs are thinking ‘Uh oh.”

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Thinking of all those workplace signs “X days without an accident.” Maybe we need to start a national sign “X days without a mass shooting.”

 

No fatalities, fortunately, but 10 people injured today in Midtown Manhattan when a driver lost control of her SUV at a light and jumped a curb. Another reminder that not traveling is no guarantee of safety, and carpe diem.

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Trump tweet today” You are witnessing the single greatest WITCH HUNT in American political history.” Well, just guessing he never made a campaign stop in Salem.

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Someone should remind @realDonaldTrump that in real witch hunts they threw you in water to see if you drowned. Investigations are nothing.

 

A Secret Service officer who was blocking a street for Trump’s motorcade suffered minor injuries when a car drove into him. Terrorist? Nope, according to reports an Uber driver in a hurry….

 

Russian lobbyist Richard Burt says he did indeed attend dinners hosted by Jeff Sessions, contradicting the AG’s testimony. This whole Trump administration is turning into a he said- he, he, he, he, he, and he said story.

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Trump apparently plans to reverse President Obama’s travel policy to Cuba. In a statement – “Further changes will depend entirely on the Cuban government’s willingness to expand the Cuban people’s political freedom, respect their universal rights, and allow freedom of press as well as free and fair democratic elections.”
Did they type that last phrase with a straight face?

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Well, a nice statement to pass on for a change “There is so much you do that I disagree with. But you have long since earned my respect, and you deserve to be heard, and you are an honorable individual.” GOP Texas Rep. Jeb Hensarling to DEM California Rep. Maxine Waters.

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While we talk about ratcheting down the hate in this country, a good place to start might be in honoring Crystal Griner, the Capitol policewoman who helped take down the Virginia gunman and no doubt saved lives, while being shot and injured herself.
Ms. Griner is married, to another woman. #Chooselove

 

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Rant time. First, I hope Steve Scalise recovers fully. No one should be shot over politics. Although I find his past efforts for a constitutional amendment against gay marriage, and a fight to exempt states from now honoring them, to be abhorrent. But some conservatives might question why I posted about the fact that one of the police officers who saved Steve Scalise’s is a black lesbian married woman. It’s not just “identity politics” or even the appreciation of irony.
Here’s a simple statement. Crystal Griner herself was shot. Without gay marriage, her WIFE might not be able to visit her in the hospital. That is wrong. That is all.

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Unstoppable?

June 13, 2017

 

At this point Warriors look like such a juggernaut that only thing that could derail them is a couple players starting to date Kardashians.

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Rumors that Golden State turned down White House invite but team says they have not been asked. Anyone think you’ll ever see Kerr & Trump together?

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Have to wonder, someone spent $133,000 for courtside seats to @NBAfinal17 game 5, when same teams expected back next year? #gameofalifetime?

 

 

In a “one & done” college basketball world should we be shocked players want to move to a super team to get an instant win?

 

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Yasiel Puig gave the finger today to fans booing him. Who does he think he is, Mr Met?

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In Oklahoma, two inmates who had been recaptured after escaping from jail three months ago through a ventilation system, have escaped again. This time with two others. Through the same ventilation system.
In related news, El Chapo has asked to be extradited to Oklahoma.

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A 33-yr-old woman was arrested at JFK Airport in a motorized wheelchair with a cushion filled with cocaine. What was their first clue, that the chair was traveling about 60 MPH?

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Marissa Mayer is walking away from Yahoo with a nearly $260 million golden parachute. Well, that should be enough for her to tout her leadership experience in a run for California governor.

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Wow. Just wow. SF Chronicle reporting that at an Uber board meeting to address unprofessional conduct and harrassment of women, board member Dvid Bonderman “joked” that adding female board members would make it “much more likely there’ll be more talking.” #clueless

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Jeff Sessions “I am not stonewalling.” To quote Princess Bride “I do not think that word means what you think it means.”

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Just wondering, would GOP treat @KamalaHarris with any more respect if she body slammed a FoxNews reporter?

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Remember those innocent days when #DennisRodman was the craziest American who would go aboard to talk with a foreign leader?

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Today @realDonaldTrump blocked @StephenKing & @VoteVets on Twitter. Stand up to ISIS? Trump can’t even stand up to critical tweets.
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Trump  says the  House Trumpcare version  is “mean”, and that he wants a Senate version with more “heart.” Translation, don’t care what you do if I can spin it as win.

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Listening to Jeff Sessions drawl on about not really remembering meetings etc.  half-expected to hear him say he & Trump “have always relied on the kindness of (Russian) strangers.

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Goals?

June 11, 2017

If SF Giants want to score 15 runs in a series might be a good idea not to score almost all of them all in one game.  (13-8 win over the Twins today.)

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A goal by the Nashville Predators in game six of the Stanley Cup playoffs was disallowed after a referee blew a whistle in error but nonetheless affirmed that since the whistle had blown, the play was dead.  And people say baseball has strange rules.

 

Warner Brothers has stopped filming on this season of Bachelor in Paradise, saying “We have become aware of allegations of misconduct on the set of ‘Bachelor in Paradise’ in Mexico.
Wait. Isn’t misconduct the point of the show?

 

 

The $447.8 million Powerball winning ticket was sold in Menifee, California. Wonder if this means the first thing the winner does is moves out of Menifee.

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A Powerball winner in California will take home a $447.8 million jackpot. Wow. That’s almost enough to buy a house in San Francisco.

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Noticed a bottled water at a hotel has an expiration date? So what exactly happens when water expires?

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Nick Gordon, the ex-boyfriend of Bobbi Kristina Brown, has been arrested on a domestic violence charge in Florida.  Not sure about the Smart or Not Smart Women here, but can you say REALLY foolish choice?

 

Also in Florida a judge decided to grant bail to a self-proclaimed neo-Nazi  who idolizes the Oklahoma City bomber and Hitler  and has said he used bomb-making devices in a college engineering club.  “I am unable to conclude there is clear and convincing evidence that Defendant represents a threat to any other person,”

The young man was arrested after he purchased a gun and several rounds of ammunition in June, this after police found explosives in his apartment in May when his roommate was arrested for murder.

What could possibly go wrong?

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Apparently Donald Trump doesn’t want to make a planned state visit to Britain if the Prime Minister cannot guarantee him there will be no major protests.

And millions of Brits are going “Promise?”

 

 

Guessing at this point if Trump said “Yes I did threaten Comey” his defenders would say it was in the nation’s interest.

 

John McCain just told #Guardian that American leadership was better under President Obama. Standby for “Loser McCain” tweets in 3.2.1….

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No fuzz on that

June 8, 2017

 

Hard to remember that not so long ago there was the concept of a “slow news week.”

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Maybe it’s just me but “Lordy I hope there are tapes” doesn’t seem like the kind of comment a liar would make.

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Could the 25th amendment apply to Senators? #JohnMcCain

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Waiting for Spicer’s claim Trump asked everyone to leave room while he talked to Comey because he wanted them to have a beautiful cake break

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John McCain referred to “President Comey.” And a whole lot of Americans are thinking “We could do worse.”

 

John McCain’s latest comment is really shocking. You mean ANYONE stays up late to watch a Padres-Dbacks game?

 

John McCain later said “my line of questioning today went over people’s heads…” Too much covfefe?

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Russia interfered w/ our election, President is a liar and directed FBI director to let Flynn investigation go. But her emails…

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And Comey gives those of us who love British History a moment “Will no one rid me of this meddlesome priest?”

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Trump quoting the Bible at Faith and Freedom Coalition’s conference. Does anyone think he’s actually read it?

 

While everyone was watching #ComeyDay, GOP in House voted to kill Dodd-Frank. I’m sure it’s just a coincidence.

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MLB asked the SF Giants to pull an auction fo Hunter Strickland’s used jersey from the game he ended up brawling with Bryce Harper, because “items auctioned cannot be in bad taste.”
“Bad taste.” Right, and that’s why ESPN & MLB TV spent more time airing footage of the brawl than anything else the SF Giants have done all season.

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Baseball is the greatest game, but it still doesn’t seem right that Mark Melancon should get the win for SF Giants in the 10th after blowing save with 2 run lead.

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Meanwhile, Santiago Casilla now has same number of saves as Mark Melancon – 10 – w/ 1 fewer blown save. Welcome to 2017 #SFGiants

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In Britain, Conservative PM Theresa May called election to increase her majority & actually lost seats. #Buyersremorse?

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Waiting for Sean Spicer to spin today’s British vote as a big win for Conservatives.

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How many people do we think it is taking to keep Trump away from his phone to tweet during these #ComeyHearings?

 

So Trump hasn’t tweeted all day. Can we start a pool on what his next tweet will be?

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Super scooter

June 6, 2017

Scooter Gennett had 5 hits, 4 home runs & 10 RBI’s in a game today. 17 total bases. Or as 2017. SF Giants offense calls that – “a good week.”

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Think Scooter Gennett just might be selected this week for random @MLB drug testing?

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Nice story for a change.   Apparently at 11pm last night Packers CB Davon House missed his connecting flight at Minneapolis airport, and tweeted out his frustration on Twitter, asking if any fans wanted to give him a ride to Green Bay since he had OTAs in the morning.   Two brothers promptly responded and drove him the four plus hours, where he promptly rewarded them with signed memorabilia and a locker room tour in the wee hours of the morning.

Why do I not think this story would have happened with a member of the NY Jets landing in Newark.

 

What,   George and Amal Clooney became parents and gave their new twins nice normal names? Ella and Alexander. Isn’t that a violation of celebrity rules?

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And if we didn’t love Clooney enough already, this was his publicist’s statement.  clooney

 

A passenger on a Delta flight needed medical attention after he was bitten by his seatmate’s emotional support dog, and another passenger said the seat had to be removed because there was so much blood.
So how many travelers will now say they need emotional support animals to protect them from their fellow passengers’ support animals?

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Bus to hell, or rather golf cart to hell item of the day. A Northern California man has been arrested for DUI after his partner fell off a golf cart he was driving in a orchard and died after landing on their wine glasses which shattered on impact. Hope at least she had finished the wine.

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Can it still be a smartphone if it’s used by an idiot? Asking for a friend in Washington D.C. taxpayer-funded housing.

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Spicer says Trump tweets are “official statements by the President of the United States.” Kellyanne says the media has an “obsession” w/ “everything” he says on Twitter. #soconfusing

 

So is it too soon to start a pool on what crisis Trump might start with a Tweet on Thursday morning to distract from Comey testimony?

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Bars are opening early in San Francisco, Houston, and Washington DC on Thursday morning for former FBI director Comey’s testimony to Congress.  Russian vodka specials will be on the menus. No doubt with lots of twists.

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Trump attacks Mayor #SadiqKhan after London attack, attacked Gold Star parents Khizr & Ghazala Khan last year. Sure it’s just a coincidence.

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Eric Trump  on Fox News’ “Hannity” re Democrats “To me, they’re not even people.” So what’s next, a big game hunt like he does with leopards & lions?

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Where have all the flowers gone.

June 1, 2017

Though wouldn’t it have been more appropriate to let all the flowers in the #RoseGarden die before today’s Trump Paris Accord announcement?

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Just heard someone on radio talking about this year’s NBA Finals being “World War 3.”. Perspective anyone?

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So just how bad is the NBA Eastern conference this year?  #NBAFinals

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Mr. Met is back on the field a day after giving the finger to a fan. He apparently is being cheered. Perhaps mostly by fans who want him to make the same gesture to the 2017 team itself.

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Mr. Met was so frustrated by team’s season he flipped off fans. How long until SFGiants put mittens on mascot Lou Seal. #SFGiants #Mets

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United Airlines  is starting the world’s longest flight 18 hours from Los Angeles to Singapore. Frequent travelers wonder how long until some baby sets a record for the world’s longest mid-air crying jag.

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Reports are that Jeb Bush left Derek Jeter’s group trying to buy the Marlins over a dispute over who would be the ‘control person.” How silly. Why wouldn’t one of the best baseball players of our era want to yield power over a team to a man who did such a good job managing his own campaign to be President?

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Think Trump might have stayed in the Paris Accord if they had only tweaked it to call it the Trump Accord.

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Clearly big reason Trump pulling out of #Parisaccord is it was an Obama win. Would be better for US if he just peed on White House drapes.

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So after the #RoseGarden ceremony pulling the US out of #ParisAgreement did @realDonaldTrump serve Ivanka’s champagne popsicles?

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Trump on Paris Accord “we will start to renegotiate and we’ll see if there’s a better deal. If we can, great. If we can’t, that’s fine.” Translation,”I’ll be dead in 20 years, WTF do I care about the future of the planet.”

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Trump tweet “My job as Pres is to do everything w/in my power to give America level playing field.” Including putting the field under water?

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But here’s a crazy liberal heard from on Twitter – Lloyd Blankfein with his first tweet:    – “Today’s decision is a setback for the environment and for the U.S.’s leadership position in the world.

Blankfein is President of Goldman Sachs.

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The @weatherchannel is trolling Trump after his Paris Accord decision. Standby for #fakeweather tweets in 3.2.1…

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GOP Rep. Tim Walberg says “God will take care of climate change.” Like he took care of the dinosaurs and Noah?

Trump “I was elected to represent the citizens of Pittsburgh, not Paris.” Uh, does he have a clue on their current economy?   Or their voting patterns?

Results for 2016 Presidential elections – Allegheny County, PA – @HillaryClinton 363,017, @realDonaldTrump 257,488. #Pittsburgh

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Waiting for Trump tweet condemning noose found in Museum of African American History. Or does hate only count if directed against him?

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While some in GOP mock Hillary for making excuses why she lost, they don’t mind Trump’s claim he lost popular vote due to illegals? #WTF.

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So just checking, Trump DOES know that #ParisAccord isn’t a Honda car made in France?

Kathy Griffin got Trump so upset he actually talked about his son Barron. How far does someone have to go before he talks about Tiffany?

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The boys of almost summer?

June 1, 2017

(oops, this post was delayed. I blame Trump.)

 

By Thursday night, wonder how many casual sports fans will remember who’s playing in the NBA finals.

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This eternal break before the NBA Finals is making many sports fans long for the excitement of Super Bowl week.

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Michael Morse is now on the 7-day concussion DL after running into  Jeff Samardzija during Strickland Harper brawl. Now who’s complaining Posey stayed put?. @SFGiants

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Adam Silver thinks LaVar Ball “will settle down” once his son, Lonzo is drafted. Right, like Trump was going to become “presidential.”

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Prosecutors drop charges for man who threw catfish onto Pittsburgh ice in game of of the Stanley Cup Finals.  Now . Pirates want to interview him for bullpen

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Southwest is testing a faster deplaning process that will allow passengers to leave the plane through both forward and rear doors. Wonder if United is testing a variation where they just throw you off along with your luggage?

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In Wisconsin, the GOP wants to scrap required concealed carry permits, citing $40 fee & the training required as  hassles for gun-owners. These are the same legislature who  want to make it harder to vote.    WTF?

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#Covfefe or not covfefe, that is the question.

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Spicer on “covfefe”   -. “The president & a small group of people know exactly what he meant.” So “small group of people”=”voices inside his head?

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Whatever #covfefe is we can be sure that it’s Obama’s fault. Or Hillary’s.

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#KathyGriffin‘s stunt was disgusting. But so were all lynching images of President Obama. Condemnation if real should be bipartisan. Period.

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So pulling out will be Donald Trump’s response to climate change? Alas, that’s his same response for women needing birth control.

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Donald Trump Jr.  tweeting about Kathy Griffin’s tasteless attempt at a joke.  “And I’m counting down having to explain it to my 8 and 10 year olds who I’m sure will see/hear about it at school. “
Doesn’t sound fun. Kind of like trying to explain to the children that their grandfather wasn’t really trying to grab women’s kittens.
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Trump tweeted “I will be announcing my decision on the Paris Accord Thursday at 3:00pm. The White House Rose Garden.  Make America Great Again.”

Someone has told this man the Presidency is not a reality TV show?

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Reports of demise of  Blackberry phones have been greatly exaggerated. The new Keyone released today already sold out and on backorder.

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Question of the day directed at Sean Spicer from a reporter: Obviously [Griffin’s] conduct has been widely condemned, and it’s not a partisan thing to say joking about violence toward the president is unacceptable. But on that note, I wanted to ask about Ted Nugent, who joked multiple times about assassinating President Barack Obama, who said Hillary Clinton should be hanged. He was invited to the White House for dinner by President Trump. Do you believe that was appropriate? And if Trump is offended by this incident, why was he not bothered by all of Mr. Nugent’s comments?”
Guess this is why Trump wants to eliminate press conferences.

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Meanwhile…. back in sports. Lebron after someone spray-painted racial slurs on his house. “As I sit here on the eve of one of the greatest events we have in sports, race and what’s going on comes again.”On my behalf and my family’s behalf, I look at it like this: if this is going to shed a light and continue the conversation, then I’m OK with it, My family is safe, and that’s the most important. Just goes to show that racism will always be a part of the world, a part of America. Hate in America for African-Americans is living every day, even though it’s concealed most of the time.
Emmett Till’s mom, actually, one of the things I thought of, one of the reasons she had an open casket was so that people could see what he went through as a victim of a hate crime. No matter how much money you have, no matter how famous you are, no matter how many people admire you, being black in America is tough. We got a long way to go, for us as a society, and for us as African-Americans, until we feel equal in America.”

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For the next round…

May 30, 2017

Think I’ve solved this SF Giants-Nationals thing. Let Washington find Jamie Moyer and sign him to a one-day contract. Have Baker tell him to throw at Posey. Honor regained, and Buster won’t even have a bruise.

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Cubs’ Jake Arrieta said of Strickland Harper brawl “Thought it was awesome.” Guessing someone won’t get benefit of doubt with his next HBP.

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Strickland gets longer suspension than Harper? Has @MLB watched 2017 #SFGiants? Not sure Hunter has enough control to hit him that squarely.

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In Washington state, police have not yet recovered the body of a young man who fell off a cliff while taking a selfie with his girlfriend. How long until “death by selfie” becomes listed as an official cause of death for statistical purposes?

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Sad when anyone young dies. But how even more sad that the lead to your obituary is “bachelorette contestant”? #bustohell

 

Armed man taken into custody in rental car area at #OrlandoInternationaAirport. So someone finally lost it w/ all those additional fees & taxes?

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Cleveland fired cop who shot #TamirRice for “falsified data on his application”? Sad. Even so PD has higher standards than White House.

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Okay, who’s going to be the first to take as their stripper name?

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Trump White House – where those that aren’t under investigation are about to be fired for not protecting those under investigation.

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#HouseofCards releases a new season this week. I liked the show better when it didn’t feel like a documentary.

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#SeanSpicer “I think the relationship the President has had with Merkel as fairly unbelievable.” When he’s right, he’s right.

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Meanwhile new White House communications director Mike Dubke has already quietly resigned from his job, which was overseeing the messaging strategy. Shocking. Thump’s White House HAS a messaging strategy??

 

How long until @realDonaldTrump tries to get all his fake Twitter followers registered to vote?

 

Justin Trudeau reportedly too took Trump up on offer to contact him on cellphone. Conversation? Or did Justin just try to distract the President w/ cat videos?

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White House spokeswoman Hope Hicks – “President Trump has a magnetic personality and exudes positive energy, which is infectious to those around him. He has an unparalleled ability to communicate with people, whether he is speaking to a room of three or an arena of 30,000. He has built great relationships throughout his life and treats everyone with respect. He is brilliant with a great sense of humor … and an amazing ability to make people feel special and aspire to be more than even they thought possible.

Time to introduce White House drug testing?

 

Finally, a bipartisan comment.  #KathyGriffin is a f*cking idiot. That is all.

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Icy hot.

May 25, 2017

What a shock to anyone who’s been watching the NBA playoffs.  Not only did the Senators-Penguins go 7 games, they were actually mostly good games.  Like much of the NHL playoffs. Close games…you can do that?

 

So once again, Canada doesn’t have a team in the Stanley Cup finals. But they still have Justin Trudeau. We in US might trade….

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Former NBA player Rashad McCants said dating a Kardashian (Khloe) wrecked his NBA career. And other NBA players who’ve screwed up their lives with Kardashians are going “Who?”

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A California woman is suing Jelly Belly, claiming she didn’t know their “sport” jelly beans. contain sugar. Once again, an illustration that Shakespeare was ahead of his time – ‘First thing we do, let’s kill all the lawyers.”

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And on another lighter note, a Florida woman was arrested for assaulting her ex by throwing pork fried rice at him. Hmm, maybe, not such a light note.  Fried rice can be heavy.

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New White House motto. “If the President does it it’s not leaking?

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Happy #NationalWineDay. Of course, since January 20, 2017, many Americans especially women consider EVERY day #NationalWineDay

 

US Appeals court in Richmond ruled against Trump’s revised travel ban Can’t wait to hear Sessions refer to Richmond as “island in Virginia.”

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Starting to feel old. I remember when home runs didn’t have “launch angles.”

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Major score in Trump insult bingo for those who had “all NATO countries.”

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Trump standing next to Angela Merkel and lecturing European leaders: “You have thousands and thousands of people pouring into our various countries, and spreading throughout, and in many cases we have no idea who they are. The NATO of the future must include a great focus on terrorism and immigration,..”
Except the Manchester bomber was British-born….

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If we’re worried about immigrants but also want immigrants & minorities to “report any suspicious activity” it seems to me we have a problem.

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Will GOP take assault off list of reasons to deport immigrants? Because it’s clearly now okay if someone p*sses you off. #IOKIYR #Gianforte

 

Gianforte win is quite a change, usually candidates wait until after they are elected to get arrested.

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National GOP Congressional Committee Chairman Steve Stivers “From what “From what I know of Greg Gianforte, this was totally out of character, but we all make mistakes.”
Well, guess since actual violence was involved Stivers couldn’t just call it “locker room banter.”

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Home Depot co-founder Ken Langone “Hell, people use food stamps to buy marijuana — that’s illegal — or cocaine, or whatever the hell else people use to get high.”
Begging the question – “What is Langone smoking?”

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If Gianforte wins & goes to DC instead of jail, can we somehow start intraparty fight between him & Ted Cruz.  Cruz? #payperview #passthepopcorn

 

From T.C.  Prez of Montenegro lucky he wasn’t Bodyslammed. They must have paid their NATO “dues”.

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Greg, we’re not in New Jersey anymore.

May 24, 2017

Montana new special election slogan?   “And the hits just keep on coming.”

 

 

If Montana congressional candidate Gianforte had to body-slam someone couldn’t it have been whoever came up with the idea for  the Dirty Dancing remake?

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Just think, before tonight it was only political junkies who were really focused on special election in #Montana #MTAL #Gianforte

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Maybe after tonight even if elected Giaforte won’t vote for Trumpcare. Pretty sure it classifies anger issues as pre-existing conditions.

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Think White House staff is probably REALLY happy Trump is either jetlagged or asleep & thus not tweeting about Gianforte & the reporter?

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Cav’s coach Tyronn Lue, asked about the Warriors “We’re just focused on Boston. The stuff they’re running, it’s harder to defend than Golden State’s [offense] for me….”
And here they tell PLAYERS that “less is more.”

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A Fed Exp contract employee in Northern California was arrested for allegedly burglarizing houses while on the job. And many people feel guilty about wasting time on social media at work.

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Brock Osweiler, newly with Cleveland, believes he is an NFL starting QB: “I think the proof is in the film for the past two years.”
Hmm, the film on him, or the film on the Browns?

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CNN reports “Sessions did not disclose (last year’s)  Russia meetings in security clearance form.” I’m sure it’s just a coincidence. #alternativememory

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Pope Francis apparently asked Melania, “What do you feed him?” Can’t wait for #failing tweets when Trump realizes Pope called him “fat”

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Sean Spicer, a devout Catholic, wasn’t allowed to attend Trump’s audience with the Pope today.  They couldn’t have even let him watch from outside in the Vatican bushes?  #Sad

 

Ben Carson says living in poverty is a “state of mind.’ But stupidity is forever.

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Now President Trump reportedly told Philippine President Duterte that US sent 2 nuclear subs to waters off Korean peninsula. Not sure what reality show Donald wants post-presidency, but it sure won’t be “I’ve got a secret.”

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CBO prediction on Trumpcare shows 23 million uninsured by 2026. Trump projections show far fewer as millions of them will die before then.

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Taking off?

May 23, 2017

 

Presume someone has warned @Cavs assuming they play @Warriors again they will have to show up more than 1 or 2 of 4 quarters? #NBAplayoffs

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NFL says they’re relaxing their player celebration rules. #SF49ers are asking “what are celebrations?”

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Nike just re-signed Odell Beckham Jr. to a shoe contract reportedly worth about $5 million a year. Waiting for the Laval Ball OBJ diss in 3.2.1…

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Top Gun 2, the sequel,  has been confirmed.  Now Maverick will be riding into the danger zone with his left blinker on.

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And this time Maverick’s biggest need will be speedy trips to the bathroom.

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More details on the man who was subdued on an American Airlines flight from Los Angeles to Hawaii after trying to break into the cockpit,.  He apparently bought a one-way ticket late at night with no luggage, smelled of alcohol, had his boarding pass confiscated by police after he opened a restricted door, etc….. and still got on the plane. In related news, TSA at LAX confiscated no doubt at least a hundred bottles of water.

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And in related news your “Do we feel safe yet?” moment for today. Client has a nice clear plastic reusable sports water bottle. Forgets to pour all the water out and TSA finds it at Newark. He apologizes and offers to dump it out. Nope. The choice is have the bottle confiscated, OR go back out to end of long line, empty the bottle outside of security and go back through again. #securitytheater

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Five  passengers sustained minor injuries while evacuating SF-bound United flight on the tarmac Newark Airport tonight due to engine fire. But the flight, presumably with a new plane,  eventually did take off,   And at least, United didn’t charge a entertainment/slide fee.

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RIP #RogerMoore. Saddest thing for many Americans is realizing someone they remember as James Bond was 89 years old.

 

Melania Trump displaying great hand-eye coordination swatting away her husband’s hand, again. If she hadn’t modeled maybe a WNBA career?

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Doesn’t this sound like a teenager’s note home to his parents? “Israel, Saudi Arabia and the Middle East were great. Trying hard for PEACE. Doing well. Heading to Vatican & Pope, then #G7 and #NATO.”

 

An unnamed “senior administrative official” said “Donald Trump united the entire Muslim world in a way that it really hasn’t been in many years.” #WTF?   Was it Jared or Ivanka?

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Former CIA Director John Brennan – Russia “brazenly” interfered in the US election, “actively” contacted some on the Trump campaign, and “I saw interaction that in my mind raised questions of whether it was collusion…” So think President’s staff is trying to get him to delay #FakeCIA tweets until after his foreign trip?

 

Suspect in #ManchesterBombing was British-born. Not sure what the answer is, but it’s not walls.

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Base medals?

May 21, 2017

Now turns out Rio Olympic medals are “falling to pieces.” Should make everyone feel real comfortable now living in former Olympic housing

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Tim Tebow hit his third home run of the year for the single-A Columbia Fireflies. A real shame he can’t hit against the Mets bullpen.

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Isaiah Thomas was out for game 3 of the Eastern Conference finals.  Maybe Lebron decided to even things out by not playing either?

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I’m sure what’s left of the Spurs would appreciate Durant doing the same thing tomorrow in game 4.

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In Zimbabwe, a big game hunter leading a safari was killed when an elephant he was hunting was shot and fell on top of him.  Mean bitch karma for a nice little win.

 

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They’ve announced a sequel will be made to the original “Mamma Mia” movie with the original cast, including Meryl Streep, Pierce Brosnan,  Amanda Seyfried, Colin Firth etc.

This news will thrill women, gays, and about 5 straight men.

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Wondering why Trump voters won’t get upset w/ him not using phrase “radical Islamic terrorism? Maybe because Fox won’t tell them he didn’t.

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Anyone have any doubt what Donald Trump would have had said had he lost election and HillaryClinton signed arms deal w  Saudi Arabia.

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Saudis are used to ruling families. So maybe they figure having Ivanka and Jared as surrogates makes sense. #TrumpinSaudi

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Ivanka Trump praised Saudis for progress on women’s rights. That’s like praising Kardashians for progress in educational television.

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Now Trump wants to gut the budget of the Office of National Drug Control Policy. While Sessions wants to lock all drug users up for the maximum sentences allowed. Never thought I’d miss “compassionate conservatism.”

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Trump canceled a public appearance today on foreign trip because he was too tired. Anyone got a picture of him fainting into a motorcade?

 

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Serious post about Democratic politics: Does anyone think Donald Trump was most Republicans’ first choice?
Whatever they thought of him, many in the GOP figured, correctly, that he would if President try to advance their agenda. So they held their noses and voted.
Meanwhile, I’ve already heard Democrats talking about 2020 and candidates they won’t support because of some perceived failed litmus lest. #Thisisthewaytolose

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The odds are good but the odds are odd?

May 18, 2017

No joke, there’s actually a “Bachelorette Fantasy League” on ESPN. And if you are already signed up, you just might be in need of a life.

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United Airlines has purchased naming rights to the LA Memorial Coliseum for $75 million. Makes sense, rooting for USC is a real drag.

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Freddie Freeman, NL home-run leader, was hit by pitch and has fractured left wrist, will be out 2 months plus. Braves coming to AT&T Park next weekend, so SF Giants fans won’t get a chance to see him. Giants pitchers may not mind too much.

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Steve Kerr just followed Popovich in slamming Trump. Lebron campaigned w/ Hillary. “Failing NBA” tweets in 3.2.1…. #spurs #warriors #cavs

 

 

Blue Jays OF Kevin Pillar was upset that Jason Motte struck him out on a quick pitch, so he yelled an anti-gay slur at the Braves reliever. At this point Pillar should be suspended for a combination of inappropriate language AND stupidity.

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Trump may stop Sean Spicer’s daily press briefings. Can we start a GoFundMe campaign to have Melissa McCarthy do one in his place? @NBCSNL

 

If Trump really believes it’s a “witch hunt” perhaps he could do the test of jumping in Potomac to see if he sinks or not?

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“Biggest witch hunt in history” said man who for years was chasing a debunked birth certificate rumor.

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How long until Americans can legitimately be diagnosed with CTFS – Chronic Trump Fatigue Syndrome?

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A 42 year old man died yesterday after falling over a railing onto his head after a Cubs game at Wrigley Field. Sad. I suppose no need to include in the story that alcohol may have been involved.

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Suppose if I’m dead I won’t care. But it’s really sad that if I end up killed by a car driven by a legal resident of the US who is drunk or too old to drive, it would be a one-day story. Whereas if it was a Muslim or illegal immigrant I’d be a posthumous poster child.

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After  Times Square car crash today good to see Donald  Trump immediately demand more mental health $$ for vets. Oh, wait, never mind.

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Suspect in Times Square crash has at least  3 prior arrests, and possible “psychological problems.” Just the kind of guy whose rights the House was thinking about protecting when they overturned Obama gun law. #ifonlyhewasarmed

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Trump lies, Pence apparently lied about Flynn, Ryan could be complicit. This could be turning into real-life version of Designated Survivor.

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“If you can’t say anything nice about someone, don’t say anything at all.” Waiting for Roger Ailes blank page obituaries.

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Bill O’Reilly says of Roger Ailes that “hatred killed him.” Sexual harassment on other hand, is probably good for women’s health. #WTF?

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Really makes you feel old not just when music legend dies, but when you didn’t know his music AND he was younger than you. #ChrisCornell

 

If Trump REALLY thought Dems would be ok w/  Joe Lieberman as FBI director that’s actually scarier than if he wants Joe just to p*ss them off

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From Marc Ragovin,  “There is a movement brewing in New York to impeach the Mets bullpen.”

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Comparison shopping

May 17, 2017

Tony Dungy compared Colin Kaepernick’s situation to what happened with Michael Vick after his release from prison, and Joe Mixon’s draft day fall.
Right, because kneeling on the sideline is as egregious to NFL coaches as killing dogs and hitting women? #WTF?

 

The way Lebron & Cavs are playing no one from Cleveland needed even to try to trip Isaiah Thomas.

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Lonzo Ball may refuse to work out for the Celtics, so set is he on playing for the Lakers. Even though the difference on a guaranteed rookie contract between the 1st and 2nd pick is over $2 million. Guess dad will have to up the price of those shoes.

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Mark Cuban says he would “love it” if LaVar Ball appeared on “Shark Tank.” Many Americans at this point would be equally happy if Lavar went into a shark tank. A real one.

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There’s a report that Moses Malone Jr. is suing James Harden, alleging that the Rockets’ star paid people to assault and rob Malone because he was upset about a Facebook post.
Crazy.  But reminds us of those not-so-distant days when the most insane stories were on the entertainment and sports pages?

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LaVar Ball said today now that if Nike, Under Armour or Adidas want to make a deal w/ him and his Big Baller Brand now,he has raised the asking price to $3 billion. You almost wonder if the guy is trying to prove he has enough ego to work in the Trump administration.

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John McCain was asked if he is ruling out any chance of impeachment. And he answered, apparently with a smile “The thought has not crossed my mind.”
Would have loved to see McCain asked if he likes Presidents who don’t get impeached.

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Trump leaves Friday, along w/ much of his inner circle, for his 1st foreign trip. Any way while he’s gone we can change White House locks?

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Google is launching “Google for Jobs,” a search feature for job seekers that will pull together job postings from all over the internet. Maybe they can beta-test it for staffers now in the White House?

So at this point Melania’s got to be wondering if she can get her deposit back on Barron’s DC area private school for 2017-18.

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John Kasich on Trump – “I hate to say I told you so …” Au contraire, I am pretty sure the Ohio governor LOVES to say “I told you so.”

 

Amazing to think that Mike Pence, who wasn’t even favored to win re-election in Indiana, could end up President of the US.  What a country.

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Trump has the ability to fire new special prosecutor #RobertMueller Too soon to start a pool on when he will?

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Putin “I have transcript of talks between Trump & Russia foreign ministers.” Doesn’t Vlad have transcripts of all WH talks?

 

Many turned on Obama quickly when he couldn’t accomplish everything they wanted. And Trump supporters still back him. #WTF?

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This is NOT my joke, a friend found it on Reddit by “Raevix.” But worth sharing: In answer to the question “Why will Congress never impeach Trump?”
“Republicans always insist on carrying a baby to full term.”

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