Posted tagged ‘Janice Hough’

Under covers man?

September 27, 2017

RIP #HughHefner. Bunnies across the world will put their ears at half-staff.

 

Seems so quaint talking about death of a man who put naked women on magazine covers when we have pussy-grabber in White House. #HughHefner

At Hugh Hefner’s funeral will mourners say they are only there for the jokes?

Matt Cain is retiring. I feel old.  #perfectgame  @SFGiants

 

As #Cubs win NL Central again, hard to believe only a year ago #SFGiantswere 1 inning away from forcing them to Game 5 w/ Cueto starting.

Trump: “NFL has to change” or “their business is going to hell.” @NFL response? “Funny, we were thinking the same about your administration”

Now it’s #RickPitino fired over latest NCAA scandal. Men’s college basketball is enough to make you long for the purity of pro wrestling.

An Ohio woman was arrested for DUI when she drove to pick up her boyfriend. Police arrested her at the sheriff’s office where the man was after HE had been arrested for drunk drinking.
Your move, Florida.

Magic Johnson – “Nobody said anything when Tom Brady said he wasn’t going when President Obama was sitting there. And now all the sudden Stephen Curry doesn’t want to go and he makes it a big deal? I think that’s wrong.”
“Loser Magic” tweets in 3.2.1….

Jared Kushner is apparently registered as a female voter in New York. And he’s been going into men’s bathrooms. The horror. #lockhimup?

Some of #RoyMoore‘s belief- gays should not be parents, Obama not born in US, etc, make you wonder if North should have let South secede.

Trump on tax plan that eliminates estate tax – “I think there’s very little benefit for people of wealth.” He said it w/straight face. #WTF?

 

Trump touting tax cuts as “middle class miracle.” As in if they pass it will be a miracle if there are any Americans left in middle class.

This overload of pumpkin stuff at Trader Joe’s is making me long for October when they will replace it with Christmas merchandise.

 

Admittedly there’s some evil cleverness in pushing tax cuts for rich while saying wealthy people could “call me all they want, it’s not going to help.”

Yesterday was #NationalVoterRegistrationDay. Actually EVERY day should be National Voter Registration Day. If you don’t vote, don’t bitch.

A WH official today says Indiana is ‘special’ to Trump. “It’s where he met then-Governor, now Vice President Pence, so it kind of holds a special place in his heart for that reason.”
Uh oh, did someone tell Karen Pence, aka Mother?

That moment when man who accepted Russian citizenship attacks NFL players as “disgusting” & not respecting American flag. #StevenSeagal

 

3 Trump tweets pushing Alabama to vote for Luther Strange deleted last night after Strange lost. Because @realDonaldTrump is NEVER wrong?

 

Don Jr. is back w/ Secret Service protection. During week he was unattended he took big $$ trip to kill a moose. Sure it’s just coincidence.

Following the tainted money?

September 26, 2017

FBI says sting found multiple bribes, payouts involving Arizona, Auburn, Oklahoma State & USC. There’s corruption in NCAA basketball, I’m shocked.

Meanwhile, at Louisville, men’s basketball coach Rick Pitino expressed “complete shock” that his university is also involved in the investigation.

Pitino is shocked?  He’s like the guy overseeing gambling in Casablanca.

Auburn & USC are two of schools snared in NCAA men’s basketball sting. Tigers & Trojans fans are just glad it wasn’t their football teams.

 

Ah for the days when #SFGiants really and truly sucking in 2017 would have been one of things folks in Bay Area were most upset about.

If we got rid of national anthem before sporting events could eliminate controversy AND shorten game times. #winwin

Peyton Manning reportedly a “possible” 2018 candidate for U.S. Senate. Will his campaign be sponsored by Budweiser and Papa John’s?

Repeal of Obamacare will not come to a vote. So officially dead, again. For now. Forget Trumpcare we should call this GOP mess Zombiecare

AG Sessions gave a talk on free speech at Georgetown. Protesters were banned from the speech. #WhyThereIsNoSatire

 

Reportedly Khloe Kardashian is pregnant with  Cavs’ Tristan Thompson’s baby. Odds just went up  for Warriors to be disinvited again as champions  in 2019 by White House.

So Twitter is going to 280 characters? Waiting for the Trump tweet taking credit.

Trump couldn’t get Hurricane Relief to Puerto Rico as “it’s an island.” Somehow 1 of those athletes he trashes, Tim Duncan made it to USVI.

Trump on Puerto Rico- “It’s very tough because it’s an island.” Hawaiians praying they never need federal help while he’s in office. #WTF?

 –

New poll of 2,200 Americans found 54% knew Puerto Ricans are US citizens. Would love to see same folks polled about Hawaiians.

Maybe it would be simpler to learn who in the Trump White House HASN’T used personal email for government business?

In Palm Beach Gardens, a woman was arrested allegedly for trying to run down her lover with her Mercedes.   Her intended victim happened to be her daughter’s husband. She told police he had recently told his wife about the affair, and the “revelation ruined her relationship with her daughter.”
Back on your game, Florida.

From Marc Ragovin  “So it looks like Trump will no longer invite nfl or nba teams to White House celebrations. “That is really gonna affect our plans,” said nobody on the Knicks.”

 

Barely winning?

September 24, 2017

So all teams in AL over .500 should make MLB playoffs Who do they think they are -the NBA Eastern Conference?

Stanford used four quarterbacks in the first quarter against UCLA. They might only need 1 the rest of the season. #Costello

Open note to Heisman committee: Yeah, that mostly happened after you went to bed. (Bryce Love,  30 carries for 263 yards and a touchdown, Bringing his season total total to 73 carries, 787 yards and five 5 TDs.)

 

You know you’ve been a Saints fan for too long when aren’t able to watch game, but see they lead 17-6 at half & are then shocked to see they not only didn’t blow the lead but won going away.

 

Trump seems happy the Pittsburgh Penguins are coming to the White House. Has someone told him how many of them are immigrants?

 

Well, so maybe Raiders fans shouldn’t make nonrefundable reservations for Minneapolis the first weekend in February quite yet.

 

 

“My first homicide the guy was shot like 40 times.”
 –
So Monday morning will Trump take credit for the best NFL ratings of the season?
While @realDonaldTrump trashed NFL players the leader of the Free World hung on to win re-election #Merkel

Ted Cruz is a “no” on Graham-Cassidy?   Kobe, Pete Carroll, Ray Lewis, Robert Kraft and others are condemning the President’s response on kneeling.  Damn.  Trump has be agreeing with too many people I don’t like.

Many Americans who’ve been turning away from football over concussions & CTE, may start tuning back in over civil rights.

So is it too soon to start a pool on which NASCAR driver will be the first to say he’s disappointed in Trump comments?

 

Think Trump would pay more attention to Puerto Rico if some athletes went down there to #TakeTheKnee?

Trump so fixated on doubling down on anthem thing you’d almost think he was trying to distract us from something. #Jared #Russia #Healthcare

 

New definition of chutzpah – using private emails for govt business after your father-in-law won the White House largely because his opponent did same thing. #jared

So if the leaders of North Korea and Venezuela are so awful shouldn’t we do all we can for anyone trying to get out of those countries?

Finally,  IMHO.  The US Flag stands for the right to protest it. #TakeTheKnee

Running away with it?

September 21, 2017

 

Ryan Trahan, a Texas A&M athlete, has been told he may lose his eligibility over “Neptune bottles”, his ecologically friendly steel reusable bottle company, because the NCAA thinks it he might be profiting on his “athletics reputation or ability.”
Trahan, a freshman, is a cross-country runner. And we all know that sport is about the fame and big bucks. #WTF?

LaGuardia power failure this am resulted in many flight delays. It was the biggest power outage for NY in the summer not involving the Mets.

Anyone else think it’s not just their records – colors of #49ers #Rams uniforms make it look like watching college teams?

Apparently #AaronHernandez had CTE. Maybe Mama Boucher was right about “foosball is of the devil.”

Charles Barkley, scoffing at today’s “soft” NBA players, said when he was playing, players “flew commercial and we were able to play back-to-back.”
And we walked to school five miles in the snow, uphill, both ways…

Ok, now it’s SNOWING in Montana. You don’t have to be a scientist to get the idea that Mother Nature is really not happy with us.

Everyone thinking “relax, no way abomination known as #GrahamCassidy will pass” – we thought no way Trump gets elected either. #keepcalling

So Jimmy Kimmel is being branded as a “Hollywood Elite” by supporters of our Reality Television Star President. #whythereisnosatire

Entire island of Puerto Rico is w/out power; restoring it may take “months.” These are US citizens. Sorry Trump, “stay safe” isn’t enough.

Iowa Sen Grassley on Graham-Cassidy “You know, I could maybe give you 10 reasons why this bill shouldn’t be considered. But Republicans campaigned on this so often that you have a responsibility to carry out what you said in the campaign.”
And why should this promise be different from most other campaign promises?

 

Facebook will now apparently release the Russian election ads, and Mark Zuckerberg said company was determined to make it “much harder” for anyone to interfere in elections and to “use our tools to undermine democracy.”
Then after his statement did Zuckerberg go out to lock the barn door and look for his horses?

Haley –Trump name calling worked w/ Kim Jong Un- Every other international community referring to him as ‘Rocket ​M​an.’” What are we, 6?

Trump calls Kim Jong Un “Rocket Man” Kim Jong Un calls Trump “mentally deranged US dotard” This would all be much more entertaining if they both didn’t have weapons of mass destruction.

#Dotard” – I guess you find it in the dictionary after “Covfefe.”

Risky business.

September 20, 2017

After a child sitting five rows up was hit by a foul ball at Yankee Stadium, some are calling again for netting all the way to the foul line.
Now, no doubt it was traumatic for the kid, but over 100 years children have also dreamed of getting autographs and souvenir baseballs before and during games. Children can also be injured, for example, in cars driving to the game.

And 3-4 children a year die playing baseball, including Little League.    Should we outlaw that too?

 

Looking at various online sites, at this rate fans going to #Rams #49ers at Levis Stadium Thurs. will pay more for a beer & a hot dog than their tickets.

Since the SFGiants brought Ryan Vogelsong back to retire a Giant, they have actually looked like a pretty decent baseball team. Coincidence?

My friend Paul S. also points out, the mini-resurgence also coincides with when we heard about Sam Dyson’s cat, Snuckles. And when Dyson brought Snuckles on the field…. Hey, whatever works.

44 years ago tonight Billie Jean King defeated Bobby Riggs. What’s amazing now is at the time some people were shocked. #BattleoftheSexes

Great pictures of #JohnKelly during Trumps #UNGA speech. Normally when people look that disgusted in New York they’re watching the Jets.

 

Trump on Iran nuclear deal “I have decided.” And “I’ll let you know what the decision is.” When, after the break? #PresidentialApprentice

Seaside, CA, police chief Robert Jackson resigned after posting racist comments and conspiracy theories jokes & commentary on his FB page. Monterey County Weekly reported he didn’t understand the privacy settings: This is alarming to me. I didn’t realize it was that open to the public”
What’s more alarming, that Jackson is a racist, or that he’s stupid enough to post anything online without checking how it works?

Trump mispronounced African country “Namibia” as “Nambia.” But give him a break,  guessing  President just heard name for 1st time from advisor yesterday.

Trump tweet “Graham-Cassidy Bill is GREAT! Ends Ocare.”
Translation, ANYTHING is great if it ends something Obama did.

 

Sorry that #IvankaTrump had “some level of postpartum depression.” But compared with not being to afford insurance for babies w/ birth defects?

When asked about Shanah Tovah assume @realDonaldTrump responded whatever Shanah says, she’s lying, wouldn’t have been my first choice.

#MelaniaTrump gives a speech at UN talking about the golden rule. Donald just has his own version – whoever has the gold makes the rules.

Trump insists people under proposed  #GrahamCassidy  bill can get covered for pre-existing conditions.   Right, exactly,  like they can buy homes in Trump Tower, if they have enough money.

 

At this point have to assume anyone in Trump administration charged w/ “draining the swamp” would charter private plane to fly & view the swamp

Sometimes got to give?

September 18, 2017

Real shame the  NY Giants don’t play NY Jets this year. That way at least one team would be assured of a win.

Even Rutgers is thinking “These New Jersey football teams are BAD.

ESPN reports Cowboys coach to meet w/ Ezekiel Elliott over lack of effort Sunday. In Dallas this could be serious, unlike hitting a woman.

Okay, with the NY Giants  on board,  #49ers & Bengals only remaining NFL teams who haven’t scored a touchdown. Any guesses who’ll be last?

Chargers couldn’t even sell out 27,000 seat StubHub Center for 1st home game in L.A. Oakland Raiders fans thinking “It’s not too late.”

Chargers reportedly sticking w/ struggling kicker Younghoe Koo. Based on attendance there’s not too much pressure yet – no one is watching.
Auburn dismissed backup QB Sean White after he was arrested Sunday morning on charge of public intoxication. Silly man, if you are going to be an SEC player who gets arrested you better be a starter.
Just a piece of advice, an online ad with “Makeup tips for older women” not going to get a lot of clicks. Most women think “older” is 10 years older than ME.

Arizona man hospitalized after he tried to show off for his friends by BBQing a rattlesnake, and the snake bit him. Your move, Florida.

Polls in Germany show Merkel’s Christian Democratic Union party increasingly popular, in part due to an anti-Trump backlash. MAGA- Make Angela Great Again?
This GOP Obamacare repeal is a really shitty remake of Groundhog Day.
 –
Anyone in  Senate who votes for #GrahamCassidy should have to immediately get their own health insurance under its provisions. Period.
If @HillaryClinton had showed up for a cameo at  Emmy would some of these people telling her to go away have embraced her? #SeanSpicer
Obama just reportedly got $400,000 for Wall Street speech. If someone tells Trump maybe he’ll resign to make big $$$ as ex-President?
 –

So has anyone told @realDonaldTrump that Puerto Ricans are Americans? #Maria

Apparently post-Harvey & Irma weren’t right time to talk about Climate Change, how many hurricanes do we have to have before it is? #Jose

Trump says he was wiretapped. He wasn’t. But Manafort was. And I’m sure there’s nothing they discussed he’s worried about….

 

You know, if Trump was actually SERIOUS about putting Americans first and helping working class people, he’d look for businesses that traditionally hire immigrants, legal and illegal, for lower wages, and try to persuade them to offer higher living wages only to workers born in the US.
If only he knew anyone in the hotel business.

Striving for mediocrity?

September 17, 2017

Forget who’s going to get a win first, the 49ers or Bengals? Who’s going to score a touchdown first?

On a brighter note, neither team is likely to get many penalties for excessive celebration.

With their 3rd field goal today, the 49ers didn’t outscore the Seahawks. But they barely outscored the SF Giants who somehow managed to score 7.

Who knew – Tony Romo is already a seriously good NFL color analyst. This might finally be his ticket for success in the postseason.

The Indians are back on a winning streak.  Meanwhile bigger story in Cleveland is that the Browns actually scored a touchdown.

 

Watching some of games today & thinking maybe it’s that Colin Kaepernick might be too good to be some NFL teams’ quarterback.

Looking ahead to #NFL Week 3 – #Browns vs #Colts . Otherwise known as the “Someone’s got to win Bowl?”

NY Jets players said they were “infuriated” and “demoralized” when Marshawn Lynch did a dance on the sidelines late in Sunday’s game.  Of course, what should really have them infuriated and demoralized is losing to the Raiders by 25.

#Stanford lost the lead and the game to #SDSU after power was restored at SDCCU stadium last night. De-Lighted?

So the real question of the night, after #Emmys who will @realDonaldTrump attack with a tweet at 3am?

Since Sean Spicer sort of admits he lied as Press Secretary,  will the Emmy’s invite Donald Trump some day in future if he admits lying as President?

Seeing Sean Spicer on the Emmy’s makes me long for days when middle-aged white men caught lying for a President went to jail. #Watergate

Just imagining what would have happened if UN Ambassador had explained behavior of Hillary Clinton’s by saying “She gets emotional.”

Trump calls Kim Jong Un “Rocket Man” Funny, when I think of President & Elton John it’s more like “Sorry Seems to be the Hardest Word.”

How do we report to Melania Trump anti online-bullying campaign someone is joking about hitting women w/ golf balls? Asking for a country.

Lebron who?

September 14, 2017

Would say, who knew a Cleveland team could be lovable. But guessing most Americans couldn’t name more than one or two Indian players.

=

So wait… tonight Houston-Cincinnati final 13-9, Chicago-NY final 14-6. Now which game was MLB & which Thursday Night NFL  football?

 

Initial NFL week 2 report: Colin Kaepernick is still not an NFL QB. But  Andy Dalton doesn’t appear to be one either.

Kids today probably would have a hard time believing the movie Major League  was supposed to be about the woeful Cleveland Indians.

So how’s that Mark Zuckerberg 2020 Presidential exploratory campaign doing?

Equifax knew about security flaw for 2 months & did nothing. Like discovering your front door lock doesn’t work, but what could go wrong?

Motel 6  announced employees will no longer work w/ ICE. Wonder how many other chains are quietly telling employees the same thing.

Ted Cruz “Consenting adults should be able to do whatever they want in their bedrooms.” If they’re heterosexual & don’t use birth control.

Ted Cruz promised his Twitter account would never “like” porn again. So that means a staffer showed him how to set up an alias account?

Both Dems & GOP at times talking about relations w/ Trump seem like women in abusive relationships – “he really loves me, he’s changing.”

Reportedly #DACADeal struck with no wall. Now “no deal” & “wall will continue to be built.” Congrats to those who had “less than 12 hrs” in pool.

Quote of the day – “You look at really what’s happened since Charlottesville, a lot of people are saying and people have actually written, ‘Gee, Trump might have a point.”
Because @realDonaldTrump is NEVER, EVER wrong.

 –

Think I’ve got it: Steven Mnuchin & wife Louise Linton brought into Trump Adminstration to make Ivanka & Jared look grounded by comparison.

Wasn’t an Al Gore fan, but don’t recall demands after the 2000 election that he say “Completely my fault I lost.”   Nader & chads and Florida had nothing to do with it. #WhatHappened

Trump says he couldn’t reach Pres. of Mexico by phone for condolences. Should Mexico respond by saying “check for the wall is in the mail?

 

But really, President Trump,  if you couldn’t reach Mexico by phone w/ earthquake condolences,  have you heard of something called Twitter?

My friend Mark Silverman points out that Bob Nightingale, in USA Today, calls attention to the fact that the Indians during their winning streak have won as many games as the Browns since Nov  2011!

Even money?

September 12, 2017

So what’s going to happen first, Indians lose a game, or Browns win one?

Not #Chargers fan but MLB or NBA teams can’t call time-outs mid-pitch, or mid-free throw shot, why should NFL be able to do mid-kick?

Warriors signed NBA ad patch deal – $20 mill year w/ Rakuten?! Because Golden State has so much in common w/ Japanese tech company?

Over-under on the first year NBA uniforms will look like NASCAR?

Last night’s Giants Dodgers game ended at 211a, after starting at 1050p.  Now those of us on the West Coast know how watching NL and AL West teams feels to those back East.

 

Lakers will retire not one, but two numbers, 8 & 24, for Kobe Bryant. Well that ought to debunk notion Kobe had biggest ego in NBA.

Especially for my British friends: We always knew Ted Cruz was a wanker. We didn’t know he was REALLY a wanker.

Cruz now says it was a “staffing issue” that led to liking that porn tweet. Does Ted mean he was fantasizing about a staffer?

Accidentally “liking” porn on Twitter doesn’t seem like mistake a young tech-savvy staffer makes. A busy 46 yr-old man on the other hand…

At least Jimmy Carter admitted to “lusting in his heart.”

That moment when you are reading a menu online at a restaurant you are interested in and see that “Cashew Nut Rice” has a star by it. Turns out the star means, not “house speciality” but “contains nuts.” Ya think? #WTF?

If Hillary Clinton’s book #WhatHappened keeps selling so well, Donald  Trump may have to have someone write  another one for him.

Huckabee Sanders- prosecuting ex-FBI director Comey is “something that should be looked at.” That should improve FBI-WH relations #Lordy

Sarah Huckabee Sanders complains #WhatHappened is full of “false & reckless actions. Who does Hillary  Clinton think she is, the President?

 –

9 people now have died after biggest US 2017 mass shooting in #Plano.  Somehow I missed Donald  Trump tweet of sympathy.

The motive for the Plano shooting apparently was similar to the previous worst US mass shooting of 2017 – an ex-husband angry that his wife had moved on.  So if we really want to keep America safe, where’s the call to deport divorced men?

Not so old Man-u

August 24, 2017

Manu Ginobili signed 2-year, $5mill deal with Spurs. Of course San Antonio saves some money since Manu’s health costs covered by Medicare.

 

Unclear on the concept. Celtic fans  fans burning Isaiah Thomas jerseys. They do realize he was TRADED right? Not his choice. #cantfixstupid

 

So if these brawls keep up can we expect to see #Yankees #Tigers on pay-per-view?

Down goes Frazier.  (Clint)    Not exactly what you expect in a baseball game.

Amazon says they will lower some prices at Whole Foods Monday. Good news for shoppers who will now be able to lower their lines of credit.

RIP Jay Thomas, 69, Eddie LeBec on Cheers. Instead of a hearse maybe he can be taken to his funeral in a Zamboni?

So does Trump remember who his FEMA director is? #Harvey

Lots of great people in Texas.   Wishing them the best. And hoping they all remember that their Senator Ted Cruz voted against Federal Funding for hurricane relief after Sandy.

The Obamas were seen this week in Cambridge helping Malia move into Harvard.  Think anyone’s told Trump that Tiffany started law school?

Gunman shot after holding hostages in #Charleston. Not terrorism, just “disgruntled employee” w/ gun. Nothing to see here. Unless he turns out to be undocumented.

An audit shows a plan to streamline University of California, payroll systems will take 5 years longer than planned, and cost triple the original estimates, almost $1 billion.
Maybe next year they should hire people from Stanford?

Powerball winner says first thing she is going to do is quit her job. Points for honesty. “The money won’t change me at all..

 

Turns out lottery-winer Mavis Wanczyk’s ex-husband was killed in a hit-and-run crash last year. Sad. But, at least no alimony battles. #bustohell

Happy #NationalWaffleDay – So it only took 7 months to get a day in Trump’s honor?

Is there anyone in Washington @realDonaldTrump hasn’t feuded or isn’t feuding with? Who knew being President could be so complicated?

Almost but not perfect.

August 23, 2017

Ok, even to watch that happen to a Dodger that was kinda painful.   #Baseballisthecruelestgame

In the 9th inning,  Rich Hill had a perfect game in a 0-0 tie.   Until an error at 3rd base.   Logan Forsythe has a great chance to be in a Southwest commercial.   #wannagetaway

(Then in the 10th inning, Hill gave up a leadoff home run and lost the game.)

Hank Aaron saying Colin Kaepernick “getting a raw deal” and called for NFL team to sign him.
Thinking this problem will work itself out; as much of a distraction as Kap might be, won’t be long into season before some team decides their QB really sucking will be a worse one.

Over 1,000 people rallied in NY on behalf of Colin Kaepernick. Wonder how many of them would cheer him after a few months as QB of NY Jets.

USC unveiled a statue of Queen Hecubaa, Queen of Troy, at their new USC village. And they spelled Shakespeare’s name as “Shakespear.”
Nobody tell the Stanford Band.

ESPN pulled an Asian-American announcer from calling UVA game because his name is #RobertLee. Even @theOnion thinking “that’s a stretch.”
Celtics traded with Cavs for Kyrie Irving. Which to 25 or so teams with 0 chance to win  NBA title is about as relevant as celebrities swapping wives.

Taylor Swift  has announced her newest album. Wonder how many boyfriends she had to break up with to write it?

 

At this point @Scaramucci has to be feeling like Chief Bromden after he threw that water fountain though the window. #CuckoosNest

Samsung is launching their Galaxy Note 8.0 So will it be an explosive announcement?

So Trump plans to shut down the government if needed to build his wall? Yea, bullying congress has worked so well with healthcare.

Well of course Trump will pardon Joe Arpaio. At this point former sheriff one of few Americans who might take job in Trump administration

Paul Ryan warning Trump not to shutdown govt over wall. Wonder how many GOP secretly wishing they were just dealing w/ President Clinton.

 

Reports are that WSJ editor Gerard Baker has been angering reporters by his support of Trump, asking them to soften coverage and saying “Could we just stick to reporting what he said.”
Uh, except sometimes that’s part of the problem.

 

Trump is giving Pentagon 6 months to kick out transgender service people deemed ‘non-deployable.’ But will Trump be around in 6 months?

Vanishing hoofprints.

August 16, 2017

Wow, in Baltimore those four Confederate monuments were taken out of town last night almost as fast as the Colts.

 

Wouldn’t it be nice if biggest controversy on social media this summer was about if it’s really stupid to talk about “exit velocity.” in Major League Baseball?

Apparently in Las Vegas, more bets have been placed on the Raiders to win the Super Bowl than on any other team. Well, and if anyone has wondered how they get money to build all those big shiny hotels….

On a positive note, the awesome Kate Scott will start calling play-by-play for Pac 12 college football. Three words – You Go Girl.

A Minneapolis diner has fired two employees for a social media posted photo showing them dressed up in Nazi fatigues. Assume they were fired not only for racism but for stupidity. #Whopoststhat?

Can someone please get a permit to start playing Elvis music outside of Congress. Specifically “A little less conversation…”

 

Public embarrassment, firings, tears… Who knew being a neo-Nazi could be so complicated?

Regarding Trump – “You can tell a joke, but you can’t tell him much.”#NationalTellAJokeDay

 

GOP with Trump now like parents with annoying child throwing tantrums in public who keep saying “Stop that darling, this time we mean it.

Jared & Ivanka on 4th vacation in 6 months, each one coinciding w/ controversial @realdonaldTrump action. Can they warn us before next trip?

Bannon saw @realDonaldTrump’s Press Conference as a “defining moment.” Right, like in April, 1912 that iceberg was a defining moment.

Trump angrily tweeted today that “Amazon is doing great damage to tax paying retailers.”  Uh, Amazon collects and pays tax. Their records are public.

Now, how about yours?

Why are we all saying that @realDonaldTrump is supporting White Supremacists when it seems just as likely at this point that he IS one?

 

Councils disbanded after most CEOs quit.   Now Trump is probably trying to figure out how to end the Senate.

 

Remember that Family Guy episode on the Munich tour bus?
Brian : Yeah, about your pamphlet… uh, I’m not seeing anything about German history between 1939 and 1945. There’s just a big gap.
Tour guide: Everyone vas on vacation….
So in years to come how many in the Trump White House will have a similar “vacation” gap on their resumes.

So will Trump now order new sign at the entrance to National Holocaust Museum saying “there were very fine people on both sides?”

 

 

Both sides acted inappropriately, Not just Pontius Pilate & soldiers but Jesus and disciples were being very violent. #Sad

Not so bright star.

August 11, 2017

Roger Goodell actually suspended Cowboys star for 6 games. Thinking Elliott’s accuser told NFL things she didn’t tell police.

Just think, if Colin Kaepernick had only beaten up his girlfriend he’d be playing for an NFL team by midseason.

Wonder how many fans who will give Ezekiel Elliott standing ovation when he returns think Colin Kaepernick has no place on a football field.

Jaguars rookie RB Leonard Fournette after 1st preseason game – NFL is “a lot slower than I really thought.”   Of course nothing changes in regular season.

 

Red Sox bullpen in the 8th inning gave SF Giants fans PTSD flashbacks to NLDS Game 4.

 

Open note to all #RedSox fans, we #SFGiants fans miss Nunez. But we warned you we don’t miss watching him run the bases.

 

A 106-year-old fruitcake was just discovered in Antarctica. Wonder who it will be given to this Christmas?

Guam is taking advantage of the North Korea publicity to promote themselves as a holiday destination.   All sorts of potential slogans – “Your vacation will be a real blast?”

Starting to seem like most of US foreign policy has now become “Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.”

 

AP reports USA “quietly engaged in back channel diplomacy w/ North Korea for several months.” As in parents saying “Just ignore children?”

“We have many options for Venezuela & I’m not going to rule out a military option.” Did Trump’s mommy not let him play enough shoot-em-up video games as a kid?

Why is it always the chicken hawks who seem thrilled by the idea of war?

Ivanka Trump reportedly opening store in Trump Tower this fall. So how many millions will US taxpayers pay for Secret Service to protect it?

 

Can someone please warn @realDonaldTrump about the upcoming solar eclipse before he thinks it’s an attack and bombs someone?

While they’re doing all those White House renovations, can I suggest changing the locks?

No fish

August 9, 2017

The group headed by Jeb Bush has given up on trying to buy the Miami Marlins. But they gave it their best shot. Please clap.

#Rally cat   St. Louis Cardinals hit a grand slam to win the game today after a cat ran on the field in Kansas City.    And the SF Giants’ fall to the bottom started last year when they traded Matt Duffy and Skeeter  #Duffcat      Coincidence?

On the other hand, but don’t look now but #SFGiants may have become the best last-place team in MLB.    In 2018, can someone get them a kitten?

The NBA will have the Brooklyn Nets play two regular season games in Mexico City this season. And if it works well, next year the league might send a professional team.

 

#TrumpChicken near White House really isn’t that accurate a likeness. The chicken has much more realistic-looking hair.

Mueller’s raid on Manafort’s house was 14 days ago & we’re just hearing about it now. So, SOMEONE in Washington knows how to control leaks.

Now Trump is after Senator McConnell. It’s amazing how buses run in DC with so many people having been thrown under them.

#NYTimes “Trump’s threat to North Korea was improvised.” Yep, that great new game show – ‘Whose Lie is it Anyway?”

Wonder if Trump have phrased things differently to North Korea if Guam had electoral votes?

Trump anti-regulation campaign means US won’t now screen truck drivers & train engineers for sleep apnea. What could possibly go wrong?

 

Maybe best hope for our country now is to convince @realDonaldTrump that Obama absolutely really wanted to start a war with North Korea.

If crisis was brewing with North Korea in 2016 I’m sure GOP would think best thing President Obama could do would be to go golfing to project aura of calm.

Trump’s plan for opioid crisis.. Tell people that  drugs are “no good, really bad for you in every way.”   Didn’t work when Hillary told USA that about him.

And in the “how low can you go” competition among the GOP we have a new contender. Senator Ron Johnson of Wisconsin, on John McCain’s no vote on repeal, after Johnson thought McCain was a yes: “I’m not gonna speak for John McCain — he has a brain tumor right now — that vote occurred at 1:30 in the morning, some of that might have factored in.”

#SignsYoureBackInThe80s The GOP agenda. Oops, guess the hashtag didn’t mean the 1880s.

#WhenImOldin5Words. What was that hashtag again?

Cheers and jeers

August 6, 2017

Dolphins sign Jay Cutler reportedly in part because fans were unhappy about the idea of Kaepernick. Chicago Bears fans are just giggling.

Jay Cutler is apparently going to come out of retirement and sign with the Dolphins. So how many teams will now get calls from Brett Favre?

 

Nothing is certain except death, taxes, and that the SF pitching to Goldschmidt is a really stupid idea.

Falcons CB Jalen Collins suspended the first 10 games of 2017 for PEDs, after being suspended the first 4 games in 2016 for PEDs.  Is the 2nd suspension for drugs or stupidity?

After watching Mets get obliterated by Dodgers,  and the Giants actually looking good in winning two games in a row, thinking maybe New York should take a page out of the San Francisco Panda playbook and bring up at this point a minor-league talent – Tebow.

RIP #DarrenDaulton. Really sad to watch stars you’ve watched play pass away. Sadder when they’re younger than you.

 

Two former rowers on U Washington’s men’s team have been charged with sharing videos of them having sex with drunk women, including two who don’t remember the incidents.
The men were kicked off the team when the allegations first surfaced. Heck of a way to show rowers could be the equal of big-time college athletes.


CNN.com  headline – “beloved celebrity couple calls it quits.” So, okay, I clicked on the story – “Anna Faris and Chris Pratt have filed for separation.”

All together now, “who?”

The manufacturer of the Fireball ride that broke apart at the Ohio State fair, killing one and injuring seven, said “excessive corrosion on the interior of the gondola support beam dangerously reduced the beam’s wall thickness over the years.”
But hey, let’s get rid of more pesky regulations.

Ah online reviews…. Was looking for a hotel in a certain area of Dubai. W Hotel on the Palm has 4.2 ranking out of 5, 26 reviews. Which sounds great except for one thing. It is under construction and NOT OPEN YET.

Chris Christie -Mueller’s convening of a grand jury is a “normal step.” As a former prosecutor he should know what it’s a “normal step” towards.

Minn. Gov. Mark Dayton called mosque bombing “act of terrorism,” following in footsteps of Pres. Trump. Oh wait, crickets. Never mind.

Trump is now quoting @protrump45, supposedly a young black conservative woman, who is actually a bot. What’s next- voting rights for bots?
Why hasn’t Trump,on his “working vacation”, tweeted anything about missing Marines in Australia. Because no way to blame on Obama or Hillary?
#MikePence says running in 2020 story “latest attempt by media to divide this administration.” Actually Trump divides them quite well on his own.
 –
Journalist Julia Ioffe, slamming Trump’s proposed immigration policy. “When you ask Trump supporters, they don’t care because she’s a different — she’s the right kind of immigrant.”
“She is a beautiful white woman from Europe, and we like those. Even though she doesn’t have a college degree.”
Well, yeah, and she’s willing to do the kind of jobs Americans won’t do… like marrying Donald.

Ageless?

August 3, 2017

Tom Brady is 40 today. Hope he’s not feeling too deflated about it.

So much attention on Steph Curry’s 1st round of professional golf even though he has no chance to win the tournament. Yep, it really is almost like he was Tiger Woods.

 

Alabama football coach Nick Saban won’t suspend Da’Shawn Hand for his 430a DUI arrest last weekend. Saban says it’s because his potential starting DL was found asleep in car & not actually driving when police found him.
Well that and the Tide open against Florida State.

Rockies closer Greg Holland cut his finger in kitchen accident, is “day-to-day.” Uh, maybe if you can’t stand being on DL, get out of the kitchen.

 

Grateful Dead night at AT&T Park.  SFGiants fans just grateful if the offense didn’t play like they are dead.

SF Giants still undefeated on odd-days in August.

Trump tweet “Our relationship with Russia is at an all-time & very dangerous low.” Uh, about those 13 days in October 1962.

A California man is suing Annie’s because their strawberry fruit snacks don’t contain any strawberries. Hope he never buys angel-food cake.

Trump is heading for a 17 day vacation in New Jersey. Can Chris Christie close down a bridge or something and keep him there?

With AG Sessions still upsetting Trump over the Russia recusal,  McMaster saying Susan Rice did nothing wrong, and Mueller convening a grand jury, it’s going to be a tough call to pick a favorite in the firing pool.

So who’s going to be the first to start a band named “Local milk people.”

 

Now it’s Dubai’s 79-story residential Torch Tower on fire (again) following London’s Grenfell Tower tragedy. But hey, who needs regulations?

Remember Towering Inferno? “You know, one of these days you’re gonna kill 10,000 in one of these firetraps, and I’m gonna keep eating smoke and bringing out bodies until somebody ask us… how to build them.”

Remember those days when August was a slow news month?

Donald Trump changed his mind.  After nominating ex-LA Dodgers co-owner Jamie McCourt as Ambassador to Belgium,  he now nominated her instead as Ambassador to France.

The White House did note Jamie speaks French!

(guess no one told Trump French is one of three official languages of Belgium?)

 

 

If the state secedes I have no problem with @realDonaldTrump becoming the first President of West Virginia.

The Senate unanimously blocked Trump from making recess appointments over break.

The technical reason Trump cannot make recess appointments is –  Senate pro-forma sessions in August.  Who set sessions up?  Alaska’s Senator Murkowski. No doubt with a smile.

With Trump’s 38% approval rating it’s pretty clear that some Republicans are supporting him just because he’s a Republican.
But as we look ahead to 2020, amazing how many Democrats are already drawing lines saying they won’t support someone if he or she isn’t THEIR Democrat.

from Marc Ragovin  – “Former NY Giant Michael Strahan lost part of one of his fingers in a recent accident. “Amateur,” said Jason Pierre-Paul.”

What were the odds?

July 31, 2017

Pete Rose now accused of statutory rape over alleged relationship with 14 yr-old when he was 34. He says he thought she was 16.  #showertime

Why there is no satire: On the subject of signing Kaepernick Ravens beat writer Jeff Zrebiec reports Baltimore owner talked to Ray Lewis. #WTF?

Jets rookie Jamal Adams during a CTE discussion.”Literally, if I had a perfect place to die, I would die on the field. And that’s not a lie. So how many concussions has Adams already had?

Dodgers loading up as World Series favorites. Wonder if they’re planning the same rings as the 2001 Mariners

LA Clippers forward Danilo Gallinari punched an opponent and injured his thumb in an exhibition game in Italy. The 2017-18 NBA schedule isn’t even out yet and already the Clippers are in midseason form.

 

For 10,000 miles, United Airlines is offering Mileage Plus members a “watch party,” which the chance to watch a road game for the 49ers on the big screen at Levi’s Stadium, complete with complimentary food, beverages and of course, traffic.
So are they asking for 10,000 miles, or giving them?

“Dear Twitter – is it possible to undelete Tweets?” – Asking for a friend. Sincerely, A. Scaramucci.

Scaramucci is OUT as White House Communications Director. Wow. So congrats to those brave people who had July 31 in the pool.

Somewhere in the bushes, #SeanSpicer is giggling uncontrollably.

#Scaramucci violated number 1 White House rule – you cannot be a crazier narcissistic media whore than the boss.

“I’m just a rich boy, I need no sympathy
Because I’m easy come, easy go, little high, little low…. @scaramucci

Can anyone imagine what it would be like if we DID have WH chaos?

Well, to be fair, Trump is used to a format where the poorest contributor gets fired every week. #PresidentialApprentice

“Did nobody tell Trump that today’s #MLBTradeDeadline didn’t apply to White House positions?”

 

Getting sense if @realDonaldTrump said, “Yeah, I colluded w/ Russia AND I orchestrated coverup” many of his supporters would still back him.

Legislative director Marc Short -White House expects tax reform to move quickly in Congress this fall  – through the House in October and the Senate in November.   Standby for “who knew tax reform was so complicated?

Politico says Ivanka Trump “desperately wants to lower expectations of what she can achieve.” Mission accomplished.

Trump to a reporter today “We will handle North Korea. We are gonna be able to handle them. It will be handled. We handle everything.”
He does know “handle” and “grope” are not the same thing?

Apparently there are now weekly bible study meetings at the White House. Just guessing the Ten Commandments aren’t included.

 

So just imagine if you’ve been on 2 week vacation without internet & got back today ready for the latest craziness from Sean Spicer.

Will being insane enough to take a job in the Trump White House qualify as a pre-existing condition? #Healthcare

Shouldn’t all positions in Trump White House have “interim” title?

 

A really good blow-dry. #ThingsThatLastedLongerThanTheMooch

Embarrassment of riches?

July 25, 2017

SF Giants got 11 runs for Madison Bumgarner tonight. In his previous 6 starts they had a total of 12.  Welcome to the 2017 season.

Tonight Madbum got his first win… and his first hit.

Apparently the Red Sox  haven’t yet been soured on SF Giants third basemen.

 

Open note to Red Sox fans.  SF Giants fans know Eduardo Nunez is good player, nice guy… but get your beer ready when he’s on the bases.

John Lackey hit 4 White Sox batters today in a game at Wrigley Field. He does know Cubs are playing SFGiants & Hunter Stickland in 2 weeks?

Lebron James has been publicly very anti-Trump, but he must be at least a little happy-Trumpcare circus is distracting us from @Cavs circus.

Phoenix backup PG Brandon Knight tore his ACL & will miss entire 2017-18 season. On brighter, note, chances go up for Suns getting #1 pick.

In Topeka, Kansas, 17 people have been displaced from their homes after a woman started trying to kill bugs by setting them on fire with her lighter. Unfortunately the fire spread to her mattress and eventually to the entire apartment. Your move, Florida.

Between her “no” vote and her “hot mic”, Susan Collins has now become Democrats and Independents’ favorite Republican.

Apparently when Trump said he would create jobs he really meant he would do it by firing most of the people he first hired.

If anyone is seriously thinking about leaving their current secure job to work for Trump they should remember two words: Jeff Sessions.

Scaramucci “You’re either going to stop leaking, or you’re going to get fired.” So when is Trump going to fire himself?

Turns out the biggest cojones in the GOP Senate belong to two women senators. @lisamurkowski @SenatorCollins

Amendment we need on Trumpcare is simply a requirement all members of Congress personally live (or die) with whatever bill they come up with.

With one vote today John McCain could have gone a long way towards forgiveness for giving us Sarah Palin.

Wonder if McCain’s doctor approved of him getting on a plane so soon after surgery? At least he has a doctor to consult.

I will believe @SenJohnMcCain today only if he holds out to vote for a bill that gives all Americans the healthcare he himself receives.

Less than 6 months after being confirmed Secretary of State Rex Tillerson is “taking a little time off.” But, you know, HIllary’s stamina.

Expected lots of nasty things would be said about AG Jeff Sessions. Did not expect they would be said by man who hired him.

Trump “time will tell” if he fires #Sessions. Translation, if I can find someone who will give up their life for 6-month gig in White House.

Ann Coulter said the immigrants who died in that trailer in San Antonio “would still be alive” if we had a wall. Because trucks can’t drive through walls?#WTF?

 

Now Trump is just taunting us – “With exception of the late, great Abe Lincoln, I can be more presidential than any Pres.that’s ever held this office” #WTF?

 

 

Btw, I was a Girl Guide in Canada.    They used to have the same oath as the Boy Scouts (Girl Guides were also founded by Baden-Powell, unlike Girl Scouts.)   Anyway,  it was changed most recently in 2010.  Just guessing Trump would not approve.

Then  “I promise, on my honour, to do my best:
To do my duty to God, the Queen, and my country,
To help other people at all times,
And to obey the Guide Law.”

Now  “I promise to do my best,
To be true to myself, my beliefs, and Canada.
I will take action for a better world
And respect the Guiding Law.”

You can go home again?

July 19, 2017

SF Giants have a lot of unsold hats in storage. The prodigal Panda returns?

Pablo Sandoval actually says he’s had “a few teams” interested.  Is he talking baseball or competitive eating?

 

But hey,  today was a good day for Giants fans.  Because we all had lineup of Span, Gomez, Belt, Crawford, Gillaspie, Hundley, Tomlinson,Hernandez & Cain giving SF a 2 game win streak.

Rockies scored 18 runs, 17 through 6 innings against the Padres.  Do we even have to ask where the game is played?   #CoorsField

Bartolo Colon,  44, says he is contemplating retirement. “So young?” asked Jamie Moyer.

Jaguars DE Dante Fowler Jr. was arrested in Florida last night on charges of “simple battery and mischief.” Is he trying to get traded to the Cowboys?

While airlines will employ tighter security on in-cabin laptops for flights from Europe, a proposed ban will not happen, and the temporary ban on such devices with Mideast airlines has been rescinded.
Just goes to show that even security theater is no match for high-paying business travelers and angry parents facing prospects of 12 hour flights with un-entertained children.

For five dollars, Heinz now selling “Chicago Dog Sauce” made with tomatoes & spices. In other words, “ketchup.” Wonder if they’d sell more if they charged ten dollars.

While I didn’t and wouldn’t vote for him, sad news with John McCain’s brain cancer.  And for a rare moment of remembering life on the high road:  http://www.politico.com/story/2008/10/mccain-obama-not-an-arab-crowd-boos-014479

Hoping like Jimmy Carter, John McCain successfully fights brain cancer. And comes out of it w/ new appreciation for pre-existing conditions.

#CBO says repealing Obamacare w/out replacement would lead to 32 million uninsured. Well, death is one way to suppress votes.

 

Trump has declined an invitation to speak at NAACP’s annual convention this weekend. Of course, it would interfere with his golf game.

As a sign of leadership why doesn’t @realDonaldTrump vow not to leave the White House on weekends until a healthcare bill is passed?

“The Dems scream death as OCare dies!”  No, not an entry into the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest.  This line was written by the President of the United States.

And once again, the Onion is going “We give up.”

1 in 3 Trump voters don’t believe Don Jr. met w// Russians even though he admitted it. Probably most of the 1/3 think Russians were at Trump Tower to meet Hillary.

The National Enquirer now claiming that the whole Russia collusion story is the fault of Hillary Clinton and her friends trying to bring down the Trump family. How long until Trump gives the Enquirer White House press credentials?

 

In a NY Times interview, Trump on Russia- – “Sessions should have never recused himself, and if he was going to recuse himself, he should have told me before he took the job and I would have picked somebody else.”
How long until Trump tweets angrily about #fakequotes?

No place they’d rather be.

July 18, 2017

The sellout streak may be over. But for last-place team on a Tuesday night, this is sure not a bad crowd in bottom of 10th #SFGiants #ATTPark

NFL opening night in less than 2 months. Meanwhile fans can follow sagas like training camps, trades & which Cowboy will get arrested next.

RB Ezekiel Elliott is now appealing his conviction after he pleaded no contest in July over allegedly driving 100mph in a 70mph zone. Sounds like someone doesn’t want a prior used against him in one or more future cases. #Cowboys   #Americasteam

Detroit Lions DE Armonty Bryant has been suspended 4 games for violating the NFL substance abuse policy – this suspension is his 3rd since the start of the 2016 season.
Bryant had 3 sacks last season. When you have as many suspensions as sacks, it might be time to find a new line of work?

Simple solution:  If Donald Trump could somehow change name of Obamacare to Trumpcare that would be enough for him to declare it a major success.

Is Trump trying to prove he knew nothing about Don Jr’s Russia meeting by showing he knew nothing about the Trumpcare bill?

Don Jr., clearly less favored child to Ivanka. If he did something he thought legal to help win election he’d run to Dad to brag about it.

I’m sure if Obama had a private off-the-record meeting w/ a foreign leader & no other Americans present the GOP would be just fine with it.

Ann Coulter is still on a Twitter tantrum against Delta. If it took $10,000 of her time to select the seat, with the amount of time she is wasting complaining she could rent a private plane.

About only thing Trump could say that his supporters wouldn’t believe completely is if he said Redskins will win Super Bowl this year.

The number of contortions Trump supporters have to go through to convince themselves he is a great President indicates they were really good at “Twister.”-

Not sure but just thinking that somewhere President Obama is smiling. “Who knew healthcare could be so complicated?”

O.J. Simpson is expected to be paroled this week, in part because he has been a model prisoner, in part because he has no other criminal convictions. Under any other President, that might be the #whythereisnosatire line of the week.

Chris Christie was loudly booed catching foul ball tonight at the  Mets game at Citifield. Maybe Trump wishes he had picked the New Jersey governor as a running mate, he MIGHT have VP less popular than he is.

Three words, “You go girl.”  http://www.cnn.com/2017/07/18/us/transgender-woman-viral-photo-trnd/index.html