Posted tagged ‘anthem jokes’

Hands up?

October 8, 2017

So who had the Alex Smith led #Chiefs as the last undefeated team in the NFL?  Now all of you liars put your hands down.

Jerry Jones, players who “disrespect the flag” will be benched. Uh, the #Cowboys are 2-3. How about benching athletes who don’t play well

To be fair, Jerry Jones probably figured he could bench half the Cowboys and still win their next game against the 49ers.

Newton “My sarcasm, trying to give someone compliment turned in ways I never would’ve even imagined.” Note to Cam  -quit while you’re ahead.  Or at least not so far behind.

 

Offensive line coach for Dolphins seen snorting white powder. After shutout by Saints maybe he thought it was rare substance from end zone?

From T.C.  A video has surfaced showing a Miami Dolphins asst coach snorting coke using a $20 bill. A Head Coach would have used a $100 bill, of course this was an offensive “Line Coach.”

Stanford is #25, Utah is #23. If there were only a way to see them head-to-head and find out who’s really the better team. #NerdNation

Senator Bob Corker refers to the White House as an “adult day care center.” Prompting immediate calls for an apology – from day care centers.

 

It’s understandable GOP so upset about Dems & Harvey Weinstein. Because they themselves were so quick to condemn Roger Ailes & Bill O’Reilly.

Trump directed VP  Pence  to walk out KNOWING there would be protest & still sending him on military plane. @POTUS throwing our budget out of whack.

Considering it’s been about 3 years since he went to a game wonder who told Mike Pence that @Colts were even playing at home Sunday

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Thinking however you feel about protests,  making taxpayers pay for Trump/Pence publicity stunt is more offensive and less American than NFL players kneeling.

If people kneel in front of the flag at the White House will Donald Trump leave?

Delta Airlines and United have issued a “Winter Weather waiver” for travelers to or through Denver tomorrow. Oct 9. But there’s no climate change…

Clearly if you harass women & get caught you can’t run film company. You can only be elected President of United States. #Weinstein #Trump

If liberal media covered up Weinstein bad behavior for years why didn’t #FoxNews break what would have been a bombshell story? #RogerAiles?

What a waste. Half million dollars or so tax dollars @VP spent on his little publicity stunt would’ve paid for a weekend of Trump golfing.

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Barely winning?

September 24, 2017

So all teams in AL over .500 should make MLB playoffs Who do they think they are -the NBA Eastern Conference?

Stanford used four quarterbacks in the first quarter against UCLA. They might only need 1 the rest of the season. #Costello

Open note to Heisman committee: Yeah, that mostly happened after you went to bed. (Bryce Love,  30 carries for 263 yards and a touchdown, Bringing his season total total to 73 carries, 787 yards and five 5 TDs.)

 

You know you’ve been a Saints fan for too long when aren’t able to watch game, but see they lead 17-6 at half & are then shocked to see they not only didn’t blow the lead but won going away.

 

Trump seems happy the Pittsburgh Penguins are coming to the White House. Has someone told him how many of them are immigrants?

 

Well, so maybe Raiders fans shouldn’t make nonrefundable reservations for Minneapolis the first weekend in February quite yet.

 

 

“My first homicide the guy was shot like 40 times.”
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So Monday morning will Trump take credit for the best NFL ratings of the season?
While @realDonaldTrump trashed NFL players the leader of the Free World hung on to win re-election #Merkel

Ted Cruz is a “no” on Graham-Cassidy?   Kobe, Pete Carroll, Ray Lewis, Robert Kraft and others are condemning the President’s response on kneeling.  Damn.  Trump has be agreeing with too many people I don’t like.

Many Americans who’ve been turning away from football over concussions & CTE, may start tuning back in over civil rights.

So is it too soon to start a pool on which NASCAR driver will be the first to say he’s disappointed in Trump comments?

 

Think Trump would pay more attention to Puerto Rico if some athletes went down there to #TakeTheKnee?

Trump so fixated on doubling down on anthem thing you’d almost think he was trying to distract us from something. #Jared #Russia #Healthcare

 

New definition of chutzpah – using private emails for govt business after your father-in-law won the White House largely because his opponent did same thing. #jared

So if the leaders of North Korea and Venezuela are so awful shouldn’t we do all we can for anyone trying to get out of those countries?

Finally,  IMHO.  The US Flag stands for the right to protest it. #TakeTheKnee

Mistakes were made, but maybe by me?

February 5, 2015

Maybe we should cut Brian Williams some slack. After all, he still may be dealing with PTSD from his near drowning as a young man on the Titanic.

Anyone but me want to see ‪#‎LanceArmstrong‬ vs. ‪#‎BrianWilliams‬ in a rousing game of Liar’s Dice?

Putting their names to paper on signing day is a big deal for top high school football recruits. For many of them it is the only time in their college careers they will actually have to write.

Kyle Kendrick just signed a $5.5 million contract with the Rockies. Last year he had a 10-13 record with a 4.61 ERA with the Phillies. Well, guess Colorado figures Kendrick will perform better in a pitcher’s park?

Tiger Woods has withdrawn from the PGA Tour’s Farmers Insurance Open, leaving midway through the first round with a back injury. So over at ESPN, they no longer have to worry this weekend about covering golf.

Sarah Palin has apparently accepted an invitation to appear on “Saturday Night Live”‘s 40th anniversary special Feb 16.. Well, kudos to Sarah for being a good sport. But wonder if she or SNL are trying harder to prove they are still relevant?

So many critics of Obamacare worried about government involvement in healthcare resulting in serious privacy breaches.  This Anthem story is probably not what they mean when they said the private sector could do it better.

In Seattle, a medical marijuana dispensary has opened a vending machine. Wonder if buyer can get their Doritos from the same machine?

Radio Shack has filed for bankruptcy and said they will sell stores. Many Americans under 40 are thinking “What’s Radio Shack?” Still younger Americans are thinking “What’s a Radio?”

So court papers say Conrad Hilton Jr. did not call British Airways flight attendants “f***ing peasants.” That’s what he called the other passengers. But he did accuse the attendants of “taking the peasants’ side” and bragged that he was already banned by other airlines. Well, whatever happens in the trial I think this young man can add another airline to that list.

 

During a House Rules Committee argument Monday, Congressman Alcee Hastings referred to Texas as a “crazy state.” Well, Hastings should know. He’s from Florida.

 

 

 

New MLB commissioner Rob Manfred says that reinstating Pete Rose is a “conversation I’m willing to have.” This after Bud Selig had said Pete would only get back into a big-league ballpark “over my dead body.” So does this mean Selig has some terminal illness?

That’s my story, and I’m trying not to stick to it.

February 4, 2015

Wow. NBC News anchor Brian Williams admitted today that his 2003 story of being shot down in a military helicopter down by enemy fire in Iraq was false, but “I don’t know what screwed up in my mind that caused me to conflate one aircraft with another… I feel terrible about making this mistake.” “Conflate one aircraft with another?” I think I like “pushed into a lifeboat” better.

Conrad Hilton Jr, 20, appeared in court and was ordered to surrender his passport during a court appearance over a meltdown on a flight from London to LA last year which including him calling flight attendants ‘f***ing peasants.” Who knew that big sister Paris would turn out to be the class of that family.’

So on the highways in the greater Seattle area, will all “No passing lanes” be renamed in honor of Pete Carroll?”

So the Super Bowl was only a few days ago, and already we’ve had 3 current NFL players arrested. Letroy Guion, D’Qwell Jackson, and Joseph Randle. Looking good for all those who bet the “over” in Vegas.

Indanapolis Colts LB D’Qwell Jackson has been arrested and charged with assault for hitting a pizza deliveryman over an argument about a parking space. Isn’t it time for the NFL to welcome their new sponsor, Uber?

In the “cheer up, things could be worse” airline division, I give you China’s Spring Airlines, which is trying to get approval for selling  discount tickets to passengers willing to stand. No joke.

Yasiel Puig just said that the Los Angeles Dodgers real rivals are not the SF Giants, but the St. Louis Cardinals. That ought to make Puig even more popular when the Dodgers visit AT&T Park in April.

From Alex Kaseberg.  “The Chicago Cubs’ renovation of Wrigley Field has caused a huge neighborhood rat infestation. The good news? They’re Cubs rats, so they’ll be gone by October.”

Because of a case involving an HIV-positive man who didn’t disclose his condition to his partner, the Florida Supreme Court will now consider the definition of “sexual intercourse.” Though presumably they turned down a request to testify on the subject from Bill Clinton.

 

Anthem, the second largest health insurer in the US, said today its database has been hacked, potentially exposing personal information about 80 million customers. Anthem said that the breach exposed “names, birthdays, social security numbers, street AND email addresses, plus employment information, including income data,” But no credit card information was exposed. Well, okay, as long as the hackers didn’t get anything important. ‪#‎facepalm‬