Natural talent…

Posted May 16, 2009 by left coast sports babe
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A resolution presented to the Vista, California school board to declare June 1 Carrie Prejean day failed this week.

The resolution stated  that Prejean is an example “of what great things can be accomplished with natural talent, hard work and dedication.” Considering that pageant-paid “boob job,  honoring Prejean for her  natural talent is like honoring Joe Biden for his natural hair.

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Wonder who drafted that resolution, maybe the same guy who drafted the Dodgers’ resolution to honor Manny for HIS natural talent.

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Whoever said numbers don’t lie apparently wasn’t a fan of beauty pageants or baseball.

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GM said they will close over 1000 dealerships.  Which means that next year those dealerships will sell about as many cars as they are selling now.

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While it’s anyone’s guess who will be the next Governor of California, it’s pretty sure who won’t be getting the endorsement from Northern California’s largest newspaper.

San Francisco mayor Gavin Newsom apparently said to a reporter from The Economist  if the SF Chronicle were to fold, “people under 30 wouldn’t even notice.”  Although my money’s on the Chronicle to survive longer than Gavin’s gubernatorial bid.

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Michael Phelps’ mom Debbie  is apparently unhappy about “those cheap girls” – cocktail waitresses, strippers, etc, that her son is dating.

But hey, now that he’s already the new Mark Spitz, maybe Michael has set his sights on being the next Bill Clinton.

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See Sarah run, See Sarah write

Posted May 15, 2009 by left coast sports babe
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Sarah Palin has signed a contract to write her memoirs.  Presumably the book will be illustrated with pictures of Russia taken from her house.

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Governor Palin said she is writing the book in part because she is tired of the media exploiting her family.  Apparently she’s decided it’s time  to go back to exploiting her family by herself. 

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In the meantime, Elizabeth Edwards’ book, and her book tour, seem to be doing a good job of sinking any future political career John might have.

Instead of  “Stand by your man,” it’s more like “Stand on your man.”  In stillettos.

 

Detroit running back Kevin Smith has guaranteed the Lions would make the playoffs next season.  Maybe he meant the B.C. Lions?

 (note to Americans on the above joke, the B.C. Lions are a CFL team from Vancouver.)

The Cincinnati Bengals will be featured on the HBO series about training camps  “Hard Knocks” this fall.   While some in Cincinnati are nervous about the reality show, at least it’s an improvment over the Bengals’ previous performance, on “Hard Time.”

Or-

At least it’s an improvment over the Bengals’ previous reality show – “Cops.”

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As the Obama administration deals with the torture issue, some are floating kinder, gentler, versions of interrogation that might be as effective as waterboarding…

For starters,  nonstop playing of “Ishtar” and “Waterworld”  in detainees’ cells,  or perhaps DVD replays of “the View,”  or perhaps just having Joe Biden come in to say a few words,

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President Obama has decided that his administration will not torture.  And in keeping with that decision, he won’t put detainees through anything he wouldn’t go through himself.  Which means that soon, anyone held and suspected of being a terrorist by the US will have their mother-in-law invited to stay with them.

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The fall of Troy? And other Pac 10 problems.

Posted May 14, 2009 by left coast sports babe
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The NCAA is looking into allegations that coach Tim Floyd gave $1000.00 to a friend of O.J. Mayo’s to recruit the star player to USC.

If USC ends up on probation or forfeiting victories over this, the incident may be known as “Sinko de Mayo.”

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Sorry, I can’t come up with a better punchline than porn-star Stormy Daniels’ campaign slogan.  Ms. Daniels is running for the Louisiana Senate against David Vitters, the conservative family-values Republican who admitted to being with prostitutes.

Her slogan:  Stormy Daniels: Screwing People Honestly”

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Miss California, Carrie Prejean, now says about the famous gay marriage question,  “I felt as though Satan was trying to tempt me.”   

As opposed to what she was trying to do to men with those topless pictures?

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And Sarah Palin defended Carrie Prejean for staying “true to herself.”  Does that mean Governor Palin is giving her daughters permission to get their own breast implants?

 

Arizona State University honored President Obama as their graduation speaker, but declined to give him an honorary degree.  Apparently at ASU, degrees are for those who earn them, unless baseball or football is involved.

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Bill Clinton chastised Dick Cheney jumping into the spotlight and acting like he was still in office  –   Said the former president “It’s over.”

Does this really need a punchline?

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T.O’s reality show…

Posted May 13, 2009 by left coast sports babe
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Terrell Owens has begun filming for his upcoming reality show.  This may mark the first time that “T.O” and reality have been used in the same sentence.

No word on what the show will be named.  Since Owens hopes to lead the Buffalo Bills to the playoffs, the show could start off as the “Amazing Race,” until Terrell starts referring to quarterback Trent Owens as “American Idle.”

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This may only make sense to “24” watchers.  But Monday night’s episode was about as likely to make people want daughters as, say, “King Lear.”

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And this will only make sense to NHL fans.

NASA has sent a mission up to fix the aging Hubble telescope.  How old is the Hubble?  It has pictures of the last Canadian Stanley Cup Champions..

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Just a thought.  Elizabeth Edwards says she was naive.  In related news Bud Selig is hailing the suspension of Manny Ramirez as proof that major league  baseball is really running a clean program with good enforcement standards in place.

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From all indications, the baseball testing program is so weak that failing a drug test is analogous to losing a spelling bee, to George W. Bush.

 

Speaking of performance enhancing…

Miss California, Carrie Prejean,  wll keep her crown, thanks to a decision by Donald Trump. Tuesday she called a news conference to thank her fans, who have “confided in me that they have found hope and inspiration in my story.” 

Yeah,  nothing says inspirational like posing topless at 17 and having breast implants at 21.  Who are these fans — the managers and customers of  Hooters?

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Somewhere in the middle of the NBA playoff season..

Posted May 12, 2009 by left coast sports babe
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The NBA playoff season just might get finished by July this year.  It’s a shame Monty Python never were basketball fans.. could have put a whole new spin on a famous skit.

“Still no sign of the finals,  still no sign of the finals…”

“How long is it?”

“That’s a mighty personal question…”

(If you don’t know Monty Python, this won’t make sense.  Not that they ever made sense.  If you do know Monty Python then let me congratulation the Lakers Sunday on their dead parrot imitation.”

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How long is the NBA season?  Even Joe Biden complains, it goes on forever…

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The UCLA Bruins will shut Pauley Pavilion for the 2011-2 basketball season while they renovate their famous arena.  The Bruins actually may end up playing home games at the Staples Center.

Which is rough news for the Clippers, just when they’d gotten used to the idea of being the Center’s second best team.

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On Mothers’s Day, the Los Angeles Lakers had a chance to really take control in their series against Houston, especially with Yao Ming out.  But they mailed their cards to their mothers, and then they mailed in the game.

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The Cleveland Cavaliers continued their march towards the NBA finals, sweeping the Hawks 4-0.  In fact, they destroyed Atlanta faster than anyone not named Sherman.

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A woman found a copy of a script for the sequel to the movie “Twilight” in a trash can.  I suppose it would be tacky to say that it’s a shame that didnt happen to the original

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Barack Obama invited the UNC basketball team to the White House. Not only were they the national champions,  but in his ESPN pool the Tarheels were the President’s first pick to win it all.  Which is better luck than he had with his Cabinet. 

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Donald Trump soon will decide the fate of Miss California, Carrie Prejean.  It will be a tough decision for the aging magnate with the young surgically enhanced blonde beauty….  Should he fire her or marry her?

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Cheney and room for moderates

Posted May 11, 2009 by left coast sports babe
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Dick Cheney said there was “room” for moderates in the Republican party.  Yes, but presumably that room is in Gitmo.

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Dick Cheney said there’s  room for moderates in the Republican party.  Of course, in this room analogy he is Mr. Rochester and moderates are  Bertha.

(okay, if you don’t like or didn’t have to read Jane Eyre, google those names.))

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Dick Cheney said there was room for moderates in the Republican party.   Of course, his definition of a moderate?  Someone like Newt Gingrich.

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Dick Cheney said he’d rather follow Rush Limbaugh into battle than Colin Powell.  Well, maybe because with gunfire Rush would be a much bigger shield.

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A recent study by researchers at the University of Vermont and Johns Hopkins University found that there were “no net benefits associated with chronic caffeine” use.

Well, other than the thousands of murders probably prevented every year because people have their coffee in the morning before they interact with others.

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Manny Ramirez, although he has accepted his suspension, claims he didn’t take steroids like Alex Rodriguez.   And maybe there’s something to that based on results… Manny batted around .500 in last year’s playoffs.

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There’s a new potential reality show next year based on “the Amazing Race.”  The first episode would feature John Edwards and Simon Cowell trying to get to a building’s only mirror.

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and finally from Jim Barach, wish I had written this one.
Former NBA star Dave Bing has been elected Mayor of Detroit. He says he wants to address the issues of drugs, violence and children born out of wedlock. After he fixes the NBA he will work on Detroit.

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Yankees jokes – is that becoming redundant?

Posted May 9, 2009 by left coast sports babe
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You have to wonder, how many people in New York lost money in bank stocks or with Madoff, but had to figure, one solid investment would be their Yankees season tickets.

Especially when they sold their expected playoff tickets.

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New Yorkers faced a tough decision in a poll last week asking who they would prefer to have as governor.  Disgraced former governor Eliot Spitzer, or unpopular current governor David Paterson.  Many complained it was like being asked to chose between the Yankees and the Mets.

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One name that has moved up about 10,000 places on the most popular baby name list – Barack.    One name that has probably moved down about 10,000 places  – Bernie.

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The new Star Trek movie is being billed as “not your father’s Star Trek.”  Which is shocking.  Trekkies fathered children?

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As a political statement, Kenyan women have vowed to abstain from sex with their husbands.  One frustrated man has already filed a lawsuit..  Wonder if his lawyer will be John Edwards?

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Bud Selig says he plans to talk to the Yankees and Mets since he has noticed their unsold seats.    Okay, so the guy notices unsold seats, but didn’t notice anything was going on during the steroid era?

Even by teenager standards, this is selective attention.

But let’s see, want to fill the stands with people… what would do it…I don’t know, maybe sluggers suddenly going on home run binges ?   Wonder how Selig could help that happen?

 

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As the 2009 San Francisco Giants were shut out, AGAIN, this time by the Los Angeles Dodgers, a question comes to mind:

What’s the difference between the Giants and their website?

The website regularly gets some hits.

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From an IGA in Cincinnati, Ohio, from an elderly white man to a woman(my friend)  in front of him in line.

“You know, some said pigs would fly before we had a black president, and guess what?  Swine flew.”

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Manny Ramirez was caught taking women’s fertility drugs.  Some people are never satisfied.  It’s not enough to be one of the top sluggers  in baseball, he wanted to be Octomom.

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President Obama received good reviews for his comic performance at the White House Correspondents’ dinner.  But really, how can you doubt the sense of humor of someone who gave us Joe Biden?

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In Miami, a popular Catholic priest, Alberto Cutié admitted last week that he is in a relationship and in  love with a divorced woman with a 14 year old son.

The Vatican reaction was mixed. half think it’s a major sin, the other half are just glad he’s not in a relationship with the son.

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Saving the Hubble telescope

Posted May 8, 2009 by left coast sports babe
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On Monday NASA will launch a rescue mission to repair the aging Hubble telescope.  Just how old is the Hubble?  For the last few years the telescope has been orbiting earth with its left blinker on.

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ESPN hired Matt Millen, fired as the Detroit Lions general manager after an -0-16 season,  as an expert football analyst.

Isn’t hiring Matt Millen now as an football analyst like hiring George W. Bush to teach English.

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or

Isn’t hiring Matt Millen as an expert football analyst like hiring Bristol Palin to preach abstinence?

 

Brett Favre sent an X-ray of his shoulder to the Minnesota Vikings.  The Vikings will decide whether or not to make Favre an offer based on the report from the paleontologist.

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In an interview this week Joe the Plumber referred to gays as “queers” and said he doesn’t want his children around them.  Well, I guess he’s not sending the kids to Catholic school.

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Manny, Manny….

Posted May 7, 2009 by left coast sports babe
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So it’s not exactly a pop quiz anymore.  All major league baseball players know they will be tested for banned performance enchancing substances.   And Manny Ramirez gets caught.

Even John Edwards said “What was he THINKING?”

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Although watching John and Elizabeth Edwards do such a public airing of their dirty linen, a thought comes to mind.  Who knew Bill and Hillary might end up looking like a model political marriage?

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Back to baseball…

 

Although a true cynic might note that Manny seems to get bored in a full season, and will still make $17 million.  While the Dodgers save over $6 million and still get their slugger before back the All-Star game.  ..

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In San Francisco, the Giants have to be breathing a sigh of relief, since they at least flirted with signing a long term deal with Manny.  Kind of like John Edward’s last girlfriend before Elizabeth must feel…

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And in the meantime, parents who don’t want their children growing up idolizing these artificially enchanced stars can just take the kids to the movies, or watch a beauty pageant. 

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From Bill Littlejohn:

 “Manny Ramirez has been suspended for 50 games for using a female fertility drug.An investigator who had talked to the star earlier and heard his voice said it was a case of ‘Manny being Minnie'”
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The Red Sox broke an American League record by scoring 12 runs in the sixth inning againsts the Indians, BEFORE making an out.   The game, which they won 13-3, may go down in history as the Boston Put-it-on-a-Tee Party.

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And Celine Dion is thinking of buying the Montreal Canadians.   Maybe because watching them in the playoffs reminded her of “Titanic.”

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Tainted records…

Posted May 7, 2009 by left coast sports babe
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The Los Angeles Dodgers broke a major league record for most consecutive wins at home to open a season.  But their opponent was the Washington Nationals. Shouldn’t THAT record have an asterisk?

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Two Ohio businessmen and six University of Toledo former basketball players were indicted Wednesday in an alleged point shaving scheme.  This is shocking, there are actually people who bet real money on Toledo basketball games?

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Elisabeth Hasselback said in an interview that Bristol Palin was the “perfect” choice” to talk about teen abstinence.  I assume she also thinks that Bill Clinton was the perfect choice to sign the “Defense of Marriage Act?

 

(Aka “DOMA”, and yes he did.)

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Who’d a thunk it?  The “cleanest” slugger of the modern baseball era might turn out to be Barry Bonds?

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This Bud’s for you…

Posted May 5, 2009 by left coast sports babe
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From Nick Coombs:

Baseball Commissioner Bud Selig was selected to give the commencement address at the University of Wisconsin. In honor of his contribution the the national pastime the University said they will present Selig with an honorary diploma with an asterisk.

In related news, Commission Selig praised the law mandating a 21 year old drinking age, and commended the University for being alcohol free for underclassmen.

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California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger has announced it might be time to study the legalization of marijuana.   Actually, recent polls of Californians show most people support such legalization.   I guess they feel that it’s high time.

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Many California schools were supposed to be closed for a  week because of swine flu, but due to new government regulations they will reopen as early as Wednesday. Bummer for all those families who planned to take the week off for a cheap Mexican vacation.

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And following up on yesterday, more celebrity flu strains.  Political edition.

Joe Biden flu.  Seems innocuous, but…it…never..ends.

John Edwards flu:  Supposedly safely quarantined, but more free-ranging than we thought.

Norm Coleman flu:  You may think you have it beat, but it can hang around for months.

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Beyond swine flu…sports flus…

Posted May 5, 2009 by left coast sports babe
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Okay, maybe the swine flu worries are calming down just a bit.

But what about these potential new sports flus?

 

Sharks flu – Fever builds over the winter, but it fizzles out by May.

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Yankees flu – hits at ballparks, seems to empty out the seats around home plate.

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Kobe Bryant flu – very strong, but no one ever seems to pass it on.

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San Francisco Giants flu – Could potentially be dangerous but hasn’t really hit anyone yet.

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Mine the Bird flu  – You’ve never heard of it before, but you can’t catch it.

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Brett Favre flu – Particularly persistent strain,  started in Wisconsin, spread to New York, and just when you think it’s finally gone, it pops up again in Minnesota.

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Alex Rodriguez flu –  Not as drug resistant as first thought, and it tips you off when it’s coming.

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Bailout the NBA?

Posted May 4, 2009 by left coast sports babe
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Okay,  it’s only one game and one loss to Houston, but… if the Lakers don’t make it to the NBA finals, well, ABC will find out what it’s like to carry the Stanley Cup playoffs.

 

No, there’s no NBA Lakers’  bias.  The Houston Rockets up 10 with 1 minute and 40 seconds left and the announcers are saying “They have a great chance to break through and win tonight.”

 And “if they can hold on…”

 Women in Kenya have said they will abstain from sex until their government is in order.  Is that a good idea?  Look how well it worked out with Hillary Clinton.

In related news, Kenya is apparently the first African country projected to have negative population growth.

 

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San Francisco Giants hitting and other myths…

Posted May 3, 2009 by left coast sports babe
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So the San Francisco Giants won another 1-0 game.  After they lost a 5-1 game. And won a 3-2 game.  Three games, five runs, and this time they won two of three.  

It’s enough to make you turn to a high scoring sport like soccer.

Actually Giants management says they would like to trade for a good hitter, but revenue is down. 

Have they considered that one reason revenue is down is because they don’t have any good hitters?

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“Mine that Bird, ” a 50-1 longshot, won the Kentucky Derby.   The 3 year old gelding beat some expensive horses flown by private jet from the Mideast.  But he travelled across country to Churchill Downs with a 21 hour drive in a basic horse trailer pulled behind a pickup truck.    I see a potential lucrative endorsement contract from Southwest Airlines.

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The New York Mets have banned local newspapers from their clubhouse in an effort to keep players from reading negative stories about the team’s lousy start.  Across the city, the Yankees are insulating their bullpen by simply banning newspapers written in English.

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Two members of the New Orleans Saints were arrested and charged with 3 counts including obscenity, disturbing the peace and lewd conduct.  New Orleans officials issued a statement saying they were very disappointed. Normally the Saints only embarrass themselves on the field

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As the Youtube video of Condoleezza Rice arguing with a Stanford student receives more and more global attention, one question comes to mind.  How can you be smart enough to be chosen as Secretary of State, and dumb enough not to realize that these days, everyone in the world has a camera phone?

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Religion and torture.

Posted May 3, 2009 by left coast sports babe
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A recent CNN survey found that regular church goers were far more likely to support the use of torture than non church goers.

Well, yeah,  there’s probably a higher pain threshold if they can sit through sermons on a weekly basis.

 

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Another example of why it’s “The most exciting two minutes in sports.”

The CNN.com home page has a story “12 horses have a shot to win the Kentucky Derby.”

And then the banner headline “Breaking news: 50 to 1 longshot Mine that Bird has won the Kentucky Derby.”

No, Mine that Bird wasn’t one of the  12.

 

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Miss Calfornia, Carrie Prejean, is continuing her campaign against gay marriage on Fox News and on the lecture circuit.   And getting a warm reception  from religious conservatives.

Let’s hope it makes up for the fact that she will probably never be served another good meal in her life in a San Francisco restaurant.

And that she may need a bodyguard or at least some protection should she venture into an unfamilar California salon for a touchup.

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You can’t make this stuff up

Posted May 1, 2009 by left coast sports babe
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As in  –  Michael Vick – potential  future PETA spokesman.   

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And Miss California,  Carrie Prejean, who has now been confirmed to have had her “boob job” paid for by pageant officials, is going on the road.  Apparently to talk about her view that marriage should be between a man and a surgically enchanced woman.

She says, among other things, that  “God was testing my character and faith. I’m glad I stayed true to myself.”     Apparently truth has nothing to do with cup size.

But you have to hand it to her on priorities.  Ms Prejean was willing to risk losing the pageant by honestly answering a question about what she believes to be unnatural gay marriage.  But she wasn’t  not willing to lose it by showing up with her natural cleavage.

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So the economy is in shambles, Chrysler is declaring bankruptcy, and the swine flu might be a pandemic.   And a Texas Congressman has introduced a bill to prevent the NCAA from crowning a national football champion unless that champion comes out of a playoff system.  Good to see Congress is on top of things:

 

Actually it would be an interesting bet – will the U.S.bring down Bin Laden before we bring down the BCS?

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Well,  for those who remember Hillary Clinton’s primary comment that Barack Obama was not a Muslem “As far as I know…:”

We’ve got a contender to top that: 

Brett Favre’s affirmation of his retirement:  “At this time.”

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Supreme Court Justice David Souter has announced he is retiring as of June  so he can return to a quiet life in New Hampshire.   President Obama accepted the retirement, but  simply asked Souter that before he leaves, could he also tell Clarence Thomas about the joys of rural New England?

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With all the school closings, this “swine flu” has to seem like a real gift to schoolchildren who have been ready for summer vacation for months.   The only way it could be better, if it were “broccoli flu.”   (Or anything else transmitted by eating vegetables.)

 

And finally, from the very funny Derek Wilken of Calgary, Alberta, on U.S.  officials advising citizens to avoid large crowds during the swine flu scare: “They are suggesting people stay home or stick to sparsely populated areas like the Yankees’ box seats.’’

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A-Rod and A Is-this-For-Real?

Posted May 1, 2009 by left coast sports babe
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A new tell-all book on Alex Rodriguez alleges that besides using steroids, the slugger would tip pitches for opposing batters  when he was with the Rangers.  This is unbelievable.  Any batter would need help against Rangers’ pitching?

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There are also allegations in the book that A-Rod used steroids as early as high school.  Which explained why his classmates voted him “Most Likely to Have a Swelled Head.”

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Could it get any worse for A-Rod?  Today the Yankees told him they were pleased with his rehablitation from his hip injury, but they thought he should spend his last weeks on the DL training in Mexico.

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Supreme Court Justice David Souter is retiring.   While the first President Bush expected Souter to be a moderate conservative,  as a justice he turned out to be reasonably liberal.  George H. W. Bush considers the appointment to be one of this biggest mistakes, next to introducing his son George W  to politics.

 

From Bill Littlejohn:

 “A 17-year old Los Angeles area marching band girl fended off two muggers with her baton.Too bad Stanford didn’t have her against Cal back in ’82”

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Condoleezza Rice was caught on  video tonight arguing with a Stanford student tonight.   Her statemants including that Guantanamo Bay was a “medium security” facility, and added  “We did not torture anyone.”

I like the one about George W. Bush planning to write a book better.

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Game six of the first round NBA matchup between the Boston Celtics and the Chicago Bulls went to three overtimes.  Which I think  makes the time of game longer than the Pistons lasted in the playoffs. 

 

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Okay, and finally, 100 days into Obama’s presidency, who’d a thunk that the Clintons would have proved far less of an distraction than Joe Biden?

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Swine flu, the Sharks, and other disasters..

Posted April 30, 2009 by left coast sports babe
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Okay, this is a really really bad pun alert. But lets get it out of the way first.

While many Americans are cancelling their trips because of flu worries, knitting club has decided to go ahead with their plans to attend a knitting convention.  Their reason, they decided to put purls before swine.

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In affirming the FCC’s right to fine broadcasters who use the F-word on the airline,  Supreme Court justice Antonin Scalia in his opinion referred to the “foul-mouthed glitterari from Hollywood.”

As opposed to the foul-mouthed glittering former Vice President?  (Who in 2004 famously told Senator Patrick Leahy to  “f**k himself.”)

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President Obama was asked if we should close our borders with Mexico.

Like we could do that?

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Nostalgia is a relative thing.  These days, it’s about thinking of those trips to Mexico where you most worried about getting Montezuma’s revenge.

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After yet another early round playoff ouster, should the San Jose Sharks change their name to the San Jose Oysters?    Because they can be great, but never in a month without an “R” in it.

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“April is the cruelest month.”  Who knew T.S. Eliot was a Sharks fan?”

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The state of Texas has suspended high school sports, including baseball and softball,  through  May 11.    Which most Texans think is unfortunate but not a disaster, as it would be if the swine flu hit during football season.

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If you think you had a bad day at work, imagine what it’s like working in the Mexican Tourism Office.

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Taylor Hicks, the season five winner on American Idol, appeared on the show tonight and delivered a, well,  decent performance.  He told the remaining contestants,  the secrets were song selection,  bringing your  “A” game,  and being lucky enough to have been a contestant on season five.

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Yovani Gallardo of the Milwaukee Brewers not only pitched a shutout against the Pittsburgh Pirate, he hit the game-winning solo home run.

Maybe the San Francisco Giants could figure out a way for this guy – he could bat cleanup.

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Another joke that may only make sense to grouchy San Francisco Giants fans.   What can you say about Fred Lewis in left field?  Only that he makes fans think wistfully about the last few years of the defensive talents of Barry Bonds.

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A relationship with sharks…

Posted April 28, 2009 by left coast sports babe
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Now that their team couldn’t move forward out of the first round, hockey fans  might or might not think Woody Allen was anticipating San Jose’s playoff struggles  in 1977:

 

“A relationship, I think, is like a shark, you know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies. And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.”

 

 

So what’s the difference between Sharks coach Todd McLellan and former Sharks coach  Ron Wilson?.    In the end,  about one round in the playoffs..

 

Georgia quarterback Matt Stafford was chosen as the first pick in the draft.  His mission, to turn the team around after eight of the worst years in history.  “Tell me about it” said President Obama.

 

 

On Monday night, the New Orleans Hornets lost by 58 points to the Denver Nuggets.  58 points!!?   Former President Bush called coach Byron Scott afterwards to tell him “Scottie, you’re doing a helluva job.”

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John Daly turned 43 today.  As much as many Americans and golfers would like to see their favorite “everyman” succeed, they can take solace in the fact that had he won as many tournaments as his potential indicated,  the PGA might have declared beer a performance enchancing drug.

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So former Michigan quarterback Steven Threet will transfer to Arizona State,  After he transferred from Georgia Tech to Michigan.

Which makes him perhaps the heir-apparent to Jeff  Garcia?

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President Obama, while he filled out an NCAA basketball bracket, chose not to enter an NFL fantasy draft contest.   And then there’s former President George W. Bush, who when asked about the draft, pleaded a prior engagement with the Texas National Air Guard.

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If shoes were sold like airline tickets.

Posted April 27, 2009 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized
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I’m not sure if this is funny, although I worry more that it’s not that farfetched.

 

Customer:  “I’d like to buy a pair of the “Supercool Superfast” running shoes you have advertised for $39.99, size 8 medium.”

Clerk: “Certainly ma’am, that will be $159.99.”

Customer: “Wait a minute,the advertised price said $39.99.”

Clerk:  “Yes, but that’s per shoe.”

Customer:  “That’s still only about half of what you are charging me.”

Clerk:  “Yes, but that doesn’t include the fuel costs involved to get the shoes to our store. And of course sales tax, a fee to cover our store security, and  local taxes from China where the shoes were made.  Plus there’s a couple others, I don’t remember them exactly.”

Customer: “That doesn’t really seem right.”

Clerk: “And that final price does include a surcharge for mypersonal assistance. We do have to charge a little more when you don’t order online.”

Customer: “So I could have gotten a better price without actually coming to the store?”

Clerk: “Yes, if you could have figured out our website, I have been told it’s a little confusing. And then there would have been a restocking fee if you didn’t like the shoes.”

Customer: “So there really were no shoes available at the advertised price?”

Clerk: “No, the ad is correct. But actually, it’s all explained in the fine print. You know the price would have been cheaper if you came in Tuesday or Wednesday night. And the least expensive price is only available for size 5 narrow. Most sizes are more. Just be glad you don’t need one of our premium sizes.”

Customer: “Well, I need the shoes, and they are supposed to be great. So fine, I’ll take them.”

Clerk:  “Great, and would you like laces for an additional $20?”

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