Archive for the ‘sports jokes’ category
September 6, 2013
How do you not love a pitcher who has thrown a perfect game for 8 innings who strikes out the leadoff batter in the 9th with three pitches: 77 mph, 76 mph and 77 mph. And it was a swinging strike three.
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Actually rarer to lose perfect game on 27th batter (12 times) than to throw a perfect game (23 times) #SFGiants #YusmeiroPetit #damnericchavez
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Prefer college football generally to the NFL, except for the post season. If the NFL were the NCAA, the defending champion Baltimore Ravens would have fallen enough in the rankings last night to guarantee they wouldn’t be in the national championship.
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Apparently teams are telling #TimTebow he’s not an NFL quarterback. Well, that never stopped Rex Grossman.
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General Mills is recalling some refrigerated Pillsbury cinnamon rolls because the dough may contain plastic pieces. Surprised they aren’t touting the plastic as adding fiber.
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New Chicago Cubs pitcher, Daniel Bard, claimed off waivers from the Boston Red Sox, says “To have a fresh environment to work in is really exciting.” Not to mention not having to deal with all that playoff pressure.
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Most of the cast of “The Big Chill” assembled in Toronto for a 30th anniversary showing of the movie. The theme song’s changed a bit though. Now,it’s “You not only can’t always get what you want, you can’t always remember what it is you wanted.”
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Downton Abbey is actually shot at Highclere Castle in Hampshire, but apparently increasing numbers of Americans are heading to the small village of Downton, 200 miles away, looking for where they film the show…. Can’t imagine where we get the reputation for being stupid tourists.
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The Columbus (OH) Dispatch had a headline this morning saying that “Elway throws seven touchdown passes.” Hmm, wonder if this means the paper will ascribe arrests of Urban Meyer players this fall to the University of Florida.
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President Obama and Putin had a conversation that Obama said was “constructive” Putin says they still don’t agree, “but we listened to each other. Well, that’s better than between the President and Congress.
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Worst thing about Peyton Manning’s 7 TD performance Thursday night? Means the endless media deification of Ray Lewis from last year will go on for at least another week
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San Jose State will play Stanford for the 67th and perhaps last time in football Saturday night, and the Spartan’s coach made it sound as it was because the Cardinal didn’t want to play “home and home” (Alternate stadiums.) Of course the fact that San Jose State ended up accepting $3 MILLION to travel twice to Auburn instead of playing Stanford has nothing to do with it.
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: Janice Hough, NFL jokes, SF Giants jokes, Tim Tebow jokes, Yusmeiro Petit
Comments: 1 Comment
September 2, 2013
Diana Nyad completed her swim today from Cuba to Florida. Upon her landing, out of habit five MLB teams offered her a contract.
(my friend Jeff Klein responded, and out of habit, most baseball fans figured she should be tested for PED’s)
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Apparently some Christians are claiming that Tim Tebow was cut from the Patriots for reasons of religious persecution. Really? If someone could have a QB rating near 100, he could sacrifice goats at midfield and he’d have multiple free agent offers.
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The BBC just revealed that a Polish captain ran his cargo ship aground onto islands off the Northumberland coast this March when he planned a course from Scotland to Belgium and forgot about England. (Really). Good thing we are all too PC now for Polish jokes.
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A new study says the average man has grown 4 inches in the last century. Sorry, gentlemen, we’re talking height.
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A Georgia WR is out for the season after injuring himself celebrating a touchdown. Well, this injury at least is not likely to befall the Oakland Raiders.
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A new proposal in Europe is for Intelligent Speed Authority devices that would apply the brakes to any vehicle going above the speed limit. Let’s hope no one tells NY mayor Bloomberg.
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Ray Lewis is now saying that he thinks the blackout during last year’s Super Bowl was a ploy to help the SF 49srs. “not gonna accuse nobody of nothing — because I don’t know facts, But you’re a zillion-dollar company, and your lights go out? No. No way. You cannot tell me somebody wasn’t sitting there and when they say, ‘The Ravens [are] about to blow them out. Man, we better do something.” Hmm, does Ray want people to start excusing his part in that murder due to a head injury.
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A former colleague of David Frost, quoted in the U.K. Telegraph. “He never saw age like the rest of us.” And he told of one late Thatcher interview they prefaced with clips from previous encounters between the two of them over a decade ago. Where the staff was worried that he would feel badly seeing his younger self. And Frost’s only response upon seeing them “Hasn’t she aged?”
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From Bill Littlejohn” Michael Malone, the new coach for the NBA Sacramento Kings, says he once wanted to work for the government as a secret agent. As Kings coach, however, Malone he has a chance to start the season at 00-7.
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: Diana Nyad jokes, janice hough jokes, Raiders jokes, Tim Tebow jokes
Comments: 1 Comment
August 30, 2013
Lindsey Vonn, gushing to People Magazine about dating Tiger Woods: “He doesn’t even leave the seat up! It’s awesome.” Wonder when Tiger learned that. Maybe we’re uncovering the real reason Elin went after him with that nine-iron?
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What really happened with the NCAA? Bill Littlejohn said “they met with Johnny Manziel for 6 hours. Would have been 7 but the bars closed at 2am.”
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I’m wondering if the NCAA reduced Johnny Football’s suspension when he agreed to sign a few hundred more items for them.
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Bottles of Extra-Strength Tylenol will soon have a warning written in red letters on their caps: “Contains acetaminophen. Always read the label.” Uh, aren’t you ALWAYS supposed to read labels?
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A South Carolina couple were arrested after being caught having sex in a Home Depot wooden display shed. Wonder if Home Depot is now trying to figure out how they can rent sheds by the hour.
(my friend George R. Mathews says “God knows they looked.around.for hours trying to find someone to help.them….they got bored and had to.DO.something.”)
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Random baseball thought for the day: Josh Hamilton and Albert Pujols together make about half as much as the entire Pittsburgh Pirates payroll. (Hamilton $17 million, Pujols $16 million, the Pirates, $66 million.)
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Katie Holmes’ representative has announced that Suri Cruise broke her arm but “is okay.” Stand by for the announcement of a line of new “designer casts” for children.
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Lindsay Lohan apparently will host her 5th SNL this fall Think they can make a condition of her appearance staying away from the after-party?
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Phil Mickelson shot a 63 while playing with Tiger Woods, who shot a 68, in the opening round of the Deutsche Bank Championship. Pool on how long it will take Tiger to complain about back problems?
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Nancy Pelosi says she doesn’t wish to be Speaker of the House again. The people who are the most upset about this? GOP fundraisers.
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At 146am, when everyone is paying attention, Facebook sent proposed updates to their “Data Use Policy” and “Statement of Rights and Responsibilities.” A long and many-paged document. But they add “as always, we won’t share the private information that you put on Facebook with advertisers without your permission.” Of course what they don’t say – nothing you post is really considered private.
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Lamar Odom was arrested for alleged DUI this morning. Who’d a thunk that Kim Kardashian would be the sister in a more stable seeming relationship?
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Ted Nugent’s wife Shemane has been arrested after a handgun was found in her carry-on luggage at an DFW airport security checkpoint. Birdbrains of a feather…
Ad on KNBR for the SF 49ers 2013 season: “There’s nothing better than the last season at the “Stick.” Nothing? Well, for starters the fact that it IS the last season at Candlestick.
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: Home depot jokes, janice hough jokes, NCAA jokes, suri cruise jokes, Tiger Woods jokes, tylenol jokes
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August 27, 2013
The 197 year old “Farmer’s Almanac,” which has an amazing record for accuracy, predicts “bitterly cold” subnormal temperatures for Feb 1-3, 2014 in the New York City area. Insert “it will be a cold day in hell when (fill-in-the-blank-team) makes it to the Super Bowl” here.
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Bank of America said they will review working conditions after an intern died after reportedly working until 6a three nights in a row. Many law firms are thinking “What, does B of A think they were too soft on the kid?”
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Many people think that Miley Cryus’s VMA performance yesterday was obscene and not fit for children. Wonder how many fathers today are thinking they need to closely reexamine the evidence?
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Who knew Hannah Montana was a stripper name?
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Barry Zito, who has a double-digit ERA on the road this year, was the starting pitcher Monday night for the SF Giants against the Colorado Rockies at Coors Field. Wonder if Denver air traffic control was alerted for possible round objects ending up in flight paths?
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Wimbledon champion Marion Bartoli, who announced her retirement from tennis Aug 14, now says “It’s pretty hard to say I would never come back.” “Atta girl!” responded Brett Favre.
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Our foreign policy at its finest: A Russian newspaper reported that Edward Snowden was stuck at the Moscow airport only after Cuba, bowing to U.S. pressure, warned Aeroflot that it would not allow his flight from Russia to land in Havana. And U.S. citizens can travel to Russia anytime, whereas Cuban travel (along with rum and cigars) is embargoed.
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An 21 year old has invented a topical sprayable caffeine, which he hopes to bring to market this fall. Ben Yu said that his spray “won’t change the world.” On the other hand, it might save a few marriages, if spouses can keep it handy for mornings when coffee isn’t available.
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Khloe Kardashian is complaining about the stories about her husband, Kim claims she is trying to protect her baby’s privacy. (Except for a picture on mom’s failing talk show.) Here’s a suggestion, folks. Want privacy? Quit making your careers be bleeping reality television.
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Really? A man has come forward 40 years later to claim that Billie Jean King’s $100,000 victory over Bobby Riggs was actually rigged so Riggs could have $100,000 in gambling debts forgiven. Except, a win would have netted him the money to pay off those debts….
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Why revenue-sharing needs a minimum team payroll to go with it: The Houston Astros, with a $13 million payroll, are according to Forbes going to make an estimated $99 million in operating income this season…. (You’d think fans would at least get a break on beer prices.)
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Scoot Airlines, Singapore Airlines’ budget carrier, is now offering passengers the option to pay a $14 surcharge for “ScootinSilence,” five rows in economy where no children. Right, because the sound of a screaming baby can carry no further than five rows…
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: Bank of America jokes, janice hough jokes, Miley Cryus jokes, NFL jokes, SF Giants jokes, Snowden jokes
Comments: 2 Comments
August 26, 2013
Going to be a tough call for what to do with Syria. But the GOP is certain; whatever President Obama decides will be wrong.
The Buffalo Bills signed Matt Leinart to add QB depth. Giving a whole new NFL fan base the opportunity to be disappointed by an ex-USC quarterback.
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In some ways, Matt Barkley was precocious. A star USC QB who started disappointing fans before he turned pro.
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Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal on “Meet the Press” denounced some in his own party, saying “Let’s not talk about impeachment. Let’s actually talk about the policy we disagree with.” Wow. Is Jindal trying to be so reasonable he gets kicked out of the GOP?
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Taylor Swift was caught on camera mouthing STFU towards ex-boyfriend Harry Styles at the VMA awards Sunday night. Can understand her animosity, but at this rate, Taylor’s going to have a hard time finding someone at these award shows who ISN’T an ex.
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Does Taylor Swift go on Match.com and put as her number one criteria “Must be good songwriting material for after our breakup?
The Mets are out of it, the Yankees are barely in the playoff picture, and Mark Sanchez gets injured in a game where Geno Smith stunk. No pressure now, Eli. And how about those Knicks?
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How embarrassing could Rex Ryan’s decision to put Mark Sanchez in in the fourth quarter of a meaningless preseason game turn out to be?
If it turns out Sanchez is out for a while and Smith is as big of a dud as he looked like Saturday, Ryan may start saying to the media “Enough. Isn’t it time for you to ask me about my foot fetish?”
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The Arizona D’backs beat the Philadelphia Phillies last night in an 18 inning game that lasted 7 hours. 7 hours? Are we sure the Red Sox and Yankees weren’t involved?
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Texas Senator Ted Cruz said today that he is “not convinced” that President Barack Obama himself wouldn’t defund Obamacare if Congress gave him the opportunity to do so. And up in Canada they’re thinking “Thank God he’s not one of ours anymore.”
Well at least ESPN is consistent. Headline from the Barclay’s tournament this weekend “Tiger Woods finishes tied for 2nd.” Gosh, did someone actually win the thing?
A Chicago Cubs batting weight was spotted today in the Pirates’ on deck circle today in San Francisco. Hmm, is that the reason Pittsburgh was shut out by the Giants?
–Serious thought: The minimum age to be charged with a crime in Louisiana is 10, so an 8 year old boy who shot and killed his 90 year old caregiver with her own gun was released to his parents. If we can’t change gun ownership laws, could we at least adopt the British rule of REQUIRING guns to be locked in a safe place – a gun cabinet or a safe? (And yes, British police can inspect to make sure this is done.)
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: ESPN jokes, NY Jets jokes, Rex Ryan jokes, USC jokes
Comments: 1 Comment
August 24, 2013
Urban Meyer has forbidden anyone – fans, media, NFL scouts -watching Ohio State football practices from wearing blue. Since blue is a Michigan color. Really, I’d have thought Meyer would worry more about people upsetting the team by wearing orange – the color of prison jumpsuits.
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A $1 million winning New York lottery ticket from August 2012, will expire today if not claimed. And many of us are still annoyed at our moms just for accidentally throwing away old baseball cards and comic books.
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Following up on that story of RGIII being fined for wearing an “Operation Patience” t-shirt in practice. Turns out the Redskins QB is a repeat offender; he was fined $10,000 for wearing Adidas clothing to a post-game news conference last December, and warned after the season opener for covering up the Nike swoosh on his warm-up shirt. The horror! How many offenses for a lifetime ban?
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Derek Jeter will rejoin the Yankees on Monday. The team will be thrilled to welcome him back, if for no other reason than a headline that doesn’t involve A-Rod.
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Geno Smith threw three interceptions today, Mark Sanchez might be injured. Well, Tim Tebow may be available.
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–Anthony Weiner was involved in a three carfender-bender this morning in New York. No injuries, and so far no word as to who might have been at fault. Not that we have any reason to suspect Weiner of doing anything risky with his phone.
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Todd Gloria, 35, will be the new acting mayor of San Diego. He is young, attractive, and gay. Could women feel any safer?
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In Slaughter, Louisiana, police said an 8-year-old boy intentionally shot and killed his 90 year old caregiver. The statement read ” Although a motive for the shooting is unknown at this time investigators have learned that the juvenile suspect was playing a video game, ‘Grand Theft Auto IV…” Got it, guns don’t kill people, video games kill people.
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A new study says that on average, single men only wash their bed sheets four times a year. Wonder how many of those single men polled responded “you wash sheets?”
–Perhaps I need a new contact lens prescription? Saturday night I saw a 4 on the board in the #SFGiants column in the first inning.
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The AP reports that a South Brunswick, NJ man, Mario Scarnici, has come forward with one of the three winning tickets sold for the Aug. 7 Powerball drawing, and will net $62 million after taxes. They add “A telephone number for Scarnici could not be located Saturday afternoon.” Ya think?
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: janice hough jokes, lottery jokes, NY Jets jokes, RGIII jokes, Tebow jokes, Urban Meyer jokes
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August 22, 2013
Ryan Braun issued a statement acknowledging that he took PED’s in 2011, the year he won the NL MVP. “I’m shocked,” said at this point absolutely nobody.
Re #RyanBraun‘s apology for using steroids. Think I’ll actually believe the first guy who apologizes for using #PEDS BEFORE he gets caught.
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Really? Apparently in regards to an HGH testing agreement, Congress is threatening to get involved because the NFL and the NFL Players Association have gotten so little done. Pot meet kettle. Kettle, pot.
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80 GOP members of Congress urged Boehner to trigger a government shutdown rather than fund the implementation of “Obamacare.” Since they feel this way, I do hope the members are also voluntarily cancelling their own expensive government funded healthcare.
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Some Roman tourists were charged $130 for four coffees with liqueurs at a Venice cafe. Upon hearing the news, Starbucks instructed their lawyers to look into the costs of liquor licenses.
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You can’t make this “stuff” up: On Family Feud the question was “Name a state that ends with the letter “A.” One contestant’s response: “Arkansas.”
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FOX is going to charge $4 million for 30-second Super Bowl ads. Wow. That kind of $$ for a pay-to-play ratio is almost on the level of Simon Cowell’s future child support.
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Not saying the 2013 SF Giants are playing like they’ve checked out, but they’ve just been voted the favorite team of the National Librarians Association.
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#AaronHernandez was expected to be indicted for murder today. Quick, time for the #Patriots to release another #Tebow story.
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This item passed along by Ryan Duca. Apparently when Nationals manager Davey Johnson showed for a Washington radio show. the story came up about Boston Red Sox catcher Mike Napoli’s apparently dating an “adult film actress”/porn star. Johnson’s reply: “Well none of my guys could, ’cause we can’t score.”
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Bradley Manning is now referring to himself as Chelsea, and wants to begin hormone therapy right away in prison. Given the way he feels about the U.S. Government, however, I assume he is looking for private donations to pay for it?
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David Ortiz told a reporter than he disapproved of Ryan Dempster throwing at Alex Rodriguez. I’m sure the fact that Big Papi was named in the Mitchell Report as allegedly testing positive for steroids in 2003 had nothing to do with it….
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From T.C. “Tiger Woods, complaining of a sore neck and back, did not play the back nine of his pro-am Wednesday in New Jersey because he said his mistress, I mean mattress, at the hotel was too soft.”
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And okay, for a serious end to this post, we’ve heard enough about the young black/biracial thugs in Oklahoma. How about these two black women? You go girls.
http://www.cnn.com/2013/08/22/us/georgia-school-shooting-911-reunion/index.html?hpt=hp_t1
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Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: Bradley Manning jokes, Congress jokes, hernandez jokes, janice hough jokes, NFL jokes, PED jokes, Ryan Braun jokes, Tebow jokes
Comments: 2 Comments
August 15, 2013
Headline of the day: “Florida issues warning about rare, brain-eating amoeba.” Which means most of the state’s residents should be safe.
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Another headline “Jon Stewart returns to the Daily Show September 3. And somewhere “And absolutely nothing has happened all summer.”: Anthony Weiner.
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–Oprah gave away a car on the Jimmy Kimmel show this week.. Well, it was a cheaper gesture than a handbag.
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The latest twist in the sleazy saga Bob Filner is that the San Diego Mayor even sexually harassed a great-grandmother. This latest alleged victim is represented by…. Gloria Allred. So congrats to all those who had August 15 in the pool. (What took Gloria so long?)
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Meanwhile the latest news out of the mess that has become the America’s Cup is that Larry Ellison’s defending U.S. Champion Oracle team has been accused of cheating by Emirates Team New Zealand. Gosh, who will stop this endless billionaire on billionaire violence.
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2013 Wimbledon champion Marion Bartoli announced her retirement last night. “The first time is the hardest” responded Brett Favre.
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Russian pole vaulting star Yelena Isinbayeva criticized other athletes who painted their fingernails in rainbow colors, and condemned homosexuality in general. Guessing this will not make her popular in the Olympic village with figure skaters.
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From Bill Littlejohn: “Before Thursday’s game against the Seattle Mariners, Rays players were surprised to see manager Joe Maddon with a python in the clubhouse.Guess he wanted to bring in someone who really knows how to run the squeeze play”
Yes, it has been that bad. Hector Sanchez’s 3-run pinch homer was just the Giants’ second HR with 2-plus aboard since June 13.
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Bud Selig, defending A-Rod’s suspension: “I have a job to do, and the job is to protect the integrity of the sport and enforce our program, and that’s what I’m going to do.” (Well, at least when players are dumb enough to use a PED clinic that keeps records.)
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Facebook is now giving me the message “Add your phone number to help secure your account and more.” More what? Robocalls to go with the online ads?
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Love this sign at the store next door: “No sense being pessimistic. It wouldn’t work anyway.”
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: Bud Selig jokes, facebook jokes, janice hough jokes
Comments: 1 Comment
August 14, 2013
Alex Rodriguez’s lawyer, trying to fight MLB’s 211 game suspension, says that his client didn’t commit “multiple violations.” Brings to mind the old joke “we’ve already figured out what kind of woman you are, we’re just arguing price.”‘
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The horror, according to “E-news” Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie almost both ended up on the SAME FLIGHT in first class from Los Angeles to London. When Aniston’s people were informed they changed her flight to the next day. Beyond-first-world problem. Way-beyond-first-world solution.
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Forbes says the Dallas Cowboys, worth $2.3 billion, are America’s most valuable team. Can you imagine how much the Cowboys would be worth if they could actually win?
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Apparently Tom Brady limped off the practice field today with a possible knee injury. Will Patriots fans blame Tim Tebow.
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In California, the Sonoma Valley High School Boosters had a fundraising event threatened with cancellation as they were serving homemade wines (some made by well-known winemakers.) Guess they should have done something less dangerous, like raffle off a gun?
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Kate Gosselin, (from the not-so-dearly-departed Jon & Kate Plus appears with her children on the cover of People Magazine: “We were struggling, then we were doing really well, then it all fell apart, and now we have a so-called normal life.” Right, because all normal families appear on the cover of People Magazine.
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A 73 year-old man who climbed over a barrier at Hawaii Volcanoes National Park and fell 115 feet was rescued after a hiker heard his cries for help. And somewhere Darwin is thinking “Missed it by THAT much.”
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John Oliver on “The Daily Show” tonight said he became a NY Mets fans “because, as a British person, I associate sports with misery.” Responded the Chicago Cubs “who are we, chopped liver?”
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You cannot make this “stuff” up, female version: Sheryl Sandberg, the multimillionaire who advised women to “Lean In” has founded a non-profit to help women get ahead “Lean In” -the foundation is looking for interns. Unpaid interns. Well, this ought to do wonders for Sandberg’s reputation for being completely out of touch with the lives of average women.
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Oops,. In 2010, the Oklahoma Lottery Commission had discontinued their toll-free number to save money, but recent lottery tickets were printed on old paper. And the phone number is now used… by a phone sex line. The mistake will be corrected, the potential excuse could go on for years. (Really honey, I was just trying to win us millions.)
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From T.C. “Irish discount airline Ryanair is under fire for refusing to refund a ticket of a passenger who passed away before her flight. The deceased’s son threatened to put the urn containing his mother’s ashes on the plane and filming and uploading the video to YouTube. Talk about passengers requiring assistance to board.”
This wouldn’t happen in the U.S. They’d probably demand an additional over-sized bag fee for the urn.
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: A-Rod jokes, Cowboys jokes, facebook jokes, janice hough jokes, Sheryl Sandberg jokes
Comments: 2 Comments
August 11, 2013
After 3 rounds of the PGA, lots of headlines about Tiger Woods not being able to win another major this week. Amazed I haven’t seen one that says he’s ONLY 13 shots back
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Men are having a hard time with the Oprah in Switzerland story. Who would want a $38,000 handbag anyway? I mean for the cost of a few of those purses you could get a Ferrari.
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The NSA says that they only “touch” 1.6 % of internet data,(and of that 0.025% is selected for review.) The other 98.4% belongs to advertisers.
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All pitchers are equal, some of them are more equal than others: MLB just overturned an official scorer’s call in the Tigers-White Sox game July 25. They decided an RBI double by Chicago’s Tyler Flowers was actually an error. Now, all four runs that inning against Justin Verlander are unearned…
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Johnny Manziel’s lawyer predicts the Heisman Trophy winner won’t miss any playing time in 2013. And if the NCAA investigation means that Texas A & M has to retroactively forfeit their season, well, WGASA. (Certainly not Johnny.)
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Chris Brown’s publicist said the singer has suffered a seizure brought on by “intense fatigue and extreme emotional stress.” “Gosh what a shame” said a handful of men and no women.
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So tired of Fox baseball idiots. (Yes, I mean you, Buck and McCarver.) They were saying how the Orioles should walk Posey to pitch to Pence, even though Posey, while the reigning MVP, has been about 1 for 100 with RISP recently. Fortunately Showalter wasn’t any smarter. And Pence got the game winning hit. Go Giants.
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The NY Yankees are now trying to fine A-Rod about $150,000 for missing a day of his rehab without team permission. This relationship is deteriorating faster than a Hollywood marriage.
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The Mars One project, planned to start in 2022, is looking for 40 people willing to take a one-way trip to the planet in order to colonize it. Reportedly over 10,000 people have applied. Wonder how many of those applications were actually sent in by the person’s significant other or ex?
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The Obama family is vacationing in Martha’s Vineyard this week. The outcry from some in the GOP about such an exclusive destination could only be matched by the same people’s indignation if the President chose somewhere like Disney World or a Florida beachj. Where the security would interrupt the hard-earned vacations of countless average Americans.
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: Chris Brown jokes, Janice Hough, Oprah purse jokes, Tiger Woods jokes
Comments: 3 Comments
August 9, 2013
At least all the A-Rod stories are knocking Anthony Weiner off the front page….
A-Rod has apparently hired the same private-detectives Dominique Strauss-Kahn used when he was accused of rape in 2011. Wonder what the firm’s name is “Sleazebags-R-Us?
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–Meanwhile, while we debate A-Rod and his pals, have to wonder, so how many other PED users are playing tonight? But who were smart enough not to use a sloppy outfit like Biogenesis?
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A pick-six on the fourth play of the first game of the preseason…. Good to know that the the NY Jets’ Mark Sanchez is already in midseason form.
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“Back to school” shopping in July fell short of retailers expectations. But to be fair, have to wonder how many shoppers were waiting for the Christmas sales starting after Labor Day.
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–A California man has turned a $2,000 Brooklyn dumpster into a apartment – complete with a bathroom, bed, kitchen and sun deck. And he still probably doesn’t have the smallest apartment in New York.
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Evan Longoria, unhappy that A-Rod can play and affect the pennant race: “I don’t think it’s fair that we can’t have an arbitrator hear the case sooner. If you get in a bench clearing brawl and a guy punches another guy and is ejected from the game and gets a 10-game suspension, you appeal that and it’s heard in the next 3 weeks. You either get 10 games or 6 games or whatever. I don’t understand why that process can’t happen for this.”
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Jack Clark is now alleging that Albert Pujols has done steroids, and hinted the same for Justin Verlander. Who does Clark think he is, Jose Canseco?
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From T.C. The Bills’ offensive coordinator says they are going to keep giving running back C.J. Spiller the ball until he throws up. Are they aiming to be the “Barfallo Bills?”
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Remember all those supposedly useless “X gets Y mph, X is going Z miles. How much gas does X need?” math problems? A Virgin America flight had to stop to refuel in San Jose on its way to San Francisco tonight. The flight distance between the two airports is about 30 miles. (Shouldn’t passengers at least get a refund on their fuel surcharge?)
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Four Vanderbilt football players, who were dismissed from the team over an alleged sexual assault this June, have each been charged with five counts of aggravated rape and two counts of aggravated sexual battery. Wonder what the young mens’ defense will be? That they were trying to prove Vanderbilt belongs in the SEC?
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Lance Armstrong’s attorneys are arguing in a class-action lawsuit that Armstrong had the right to lie about his career in his autobiographies. If the defense works, A-Rod wants names – of the lawyers and Lance’s ghostwriter.
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Switzerland has apologized to Oprah after a saleswoman at a fancy Zurich boutique refused to show her a $38,000black handbag, saying she “will not be able to afford” it. I hate racism as much as anyone, but some of those salespeople are equally snotty to non-rich looking white people. Cue the Julia Roberts “big mistake” scene in “Pretty Woman…”
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: A-Rod jokes, Jets jokes, NY Jokes, steroid jokes
Comments: 4 Comments
August 8, 2013
The New York Yankees are playing like a team that doesn’t want this A-Rod circus to continue into the postseason.
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In the SF Bay Area, BART and their unions are reportedly about $100 million apart in their strike talks. In New York they’re thinking “$100 million? That’s barely a Yankees middle reliever.”
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Signed memorabilia from Ohio State QB Braxton Miller and South Carolina DE Jadeveon Clowney have appeared for sale online, but the schools say there was no wrongdoing by the athletes. And if you can’t trust Urban Meyer and Steve Spurrier, who can you trust?
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You just MIGHT have too much money when…A Los Angeles Bar has unveiled a 20 item water, complete with water sommelier on hand. Prices go up to $16 and there are $12 tasting flights. This being Los Angeles wonder how long it will take for someone to ask for a preferred water recommendation for their dog.
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–Mitt Romney, speaking about GOP 2016 Presidential candidates “My guess is that every one of the contenders would be better than whoever the Democrats put up. But there will only be one or perhaps two who actually could win the election in November.” Well, if anyone knows about unelectable….
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Massachusetts Catholic priest, Monsignor Arthur Doyle, 62, was arrested in Lowell on a prostitution charge last weekend. He was caught with the woman, 38, performing oral sex on him in a car. And the archdiocese is going. “Thank God, an adult female.”
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From Marc Ragovin: “A shipping company in Italy has discovered long-lost footage of a pre-Citizen Kane film by Orson Welles called “Too Much Johnson.” Hey, isn’t that Anthony Weiner’s campaign slogan?’
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Timberwolves rookie Shabazz Muhammad was sent home by the team for the rule violation of bringing a female guest into his hotel room. The reason Muhammad was at the hotel? The four-day NBA’s Rookie Transition Program, designed to help young players stay out of trouble…..
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Captain Kangaroo’s Cosmo Allegretti, 86, who created the Dancing Bear, has died. For the younger generation, yes, there were lovable puppets before the Muppets.
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Only missed the #Powerball jackpot by six numbers tonight. And I didn’t even play.
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Okay, who’s the brilliant mind who came up with this on KNBR- an SF Giants ad for the Brewers series at A T & T taunting Milwaukee about their suspended slugger with an asterisk? Must have been promotional pot-kettle giveaway night.
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LSU’s star running back Jeremy Hill was already on probation for a sex-crime involving a 14 year old girl when he was arrested in April for sucker-punching a man at a bar. (And he was seen laughing about it on a video.)
The judge, however, just extended his probation, with a curfew. Then Les Miles let the team vote, and they voted to reinstate him. Good thing the judge’s provision said the curfew would be waived for football night games…
(You have to wonder, if Hill murders someone, will they make him sit out a quarter?)
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Human Rights Watch, reporting on Russian efforts to silence journalists and activists before the Sochi games, says that organizations documenting Olympic preparation abuses “were subject to intrusive government inspections, including at least one organization that had its email accounts examined.” Gosh, if there were only someone in Russia who was willing to take on a government over such actions.
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: A-Rod jokes, football jokes, Janice Hough, LSU jokes, NCAA jokes, SF Giants jokes, Yankees jokes
Comments: 2 Comments
August 5, 2013
Breaking news. A-Rod is to be suspended. And Generalissimo Francisco Franco is still dead.
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So when will #ARod say he’s going to spend the rest of his life looking for the real PED users?
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The MLB players union expects that A-Rod’s appeal process will not be completed before the end of the season. Well, the way the Yankees are playing, at least this whole circus shouldn’t affect the playoffs.
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As the Biogenesis suspension list emerges….a question comes to mind, so are American-born players cleaner than those from the Dominican Republic? Or just smarter about their drugs?
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A study of the first six months of 2013 by researchers at George Mason University showed that President Obama was the most joked about politician on late night talk shows, figuring in 288 punch lines. Finally, a race Anthony Weiner can win!
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Dutch researchers created the world’s first lab-grown beef burger, cultured from cattle stem cells. Volunteers in a public taste test said it had the texture of meat but was short of flavor. Sounds like they’re already met Taco Bell standards.
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Major League Baseball has doing about as good a job avoiding leaks on these PED suspensions as the players did in keeping their connections with Biogenesis secret in the first place….
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2-3 lanes of the Bay Bridge between SF and Oakland were closed this morning, when a big rig carrying rice and raw fish for sushi caught fire on the bridge. Restaurant goers tonight might want to approach any “seared fish” special with caution.
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Averaging about a home run a week lately, the SF Giants may be taking trying to prove they’re a PED free ballclub a little too far….
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Jeff Bezos of Amazon is buying the Washington Post. So subscription rates may go up but shipping will be free.
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Okay, now really rooting for the Detroit Tigers or Texas Rangers to win it all. Because I would LOVE to see Bud Selig grit his teeth and present Jhonny Peralta or Nelson Cruz with the World Series MVP trophy….
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Slapped with a 211 game suspension, A-Rod is appealing and plans to play tonight. And the game tonight was televised on YES – the Yankees network. Can you say ratings gold? #Therichgetricher
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A woman who is the current Miss Riverton, Utah, in the Miss America pageant was arrested and charged with making and throwing homemade bombs from a car. There goes her chance to win Miss Congeniality.
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A corporate jet ran off the runway and through a fence at the Eden Prairie airport Monday morning. Did the pilot have dreams of working for Asiana?
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Stay classy Sydney Leathers. After filming a hardcore porn sex scene posted online, Anthony Weiner’s sexting partner stated “‘I’m not prostituting myself… It’s important to look at your body in a positive way”
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Rex Ryan is asking NY Jets fans to give Mark Sanchez a break. And fans are going, “sure, an arm, a leg…?”.
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Alex Rodriguez says that the “the last seven months have been a nightmare, probably the worst time of my life.” Well, he has more than 100 million rea$on$ to try to go on….
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The silver lining in the story that Texas A & M QB Johnny Manziel may have signed a contract to be paid for autographs. At least we know there’s presumably a college football player who can read and write.
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Mark McGwire, on PED’sl: “I wish I was never a part of it. If it’s better to have bigger suspensions, then they’re going to have to change it.” Translation, “I’m no longer playing, I’ve got a job, f*ck ’em.”
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: A-Rod jokes, Alex Rodriguez jokes, janice hough jokes, PED jokes, Yankees jokes. Johnny Manziel
Comments: 1 Comment
August 3, 2013
Inspired by the running of the bulls in Spain, promoters plan to bring “The Great Bull Run” to the U.S. where bulls will be unleashed to sprint through fenced-in courses as daredevils try to avoid being trampled. The first will be near Richmond, Virginia, later this month. Shocking. This seemed like a perfect fit for Florida.
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A undercover police officer arrested a Florida woman for illegally selling lobster tails on Craigslist. Good to know the Sunshine State is focusing their law enforcement efforts on the important stuff these days.
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Jerry Rice, complaining about today’s players in the Pro Bowl “You’ve got prima donnas, egocentrics, who act like it’s not an honor,” Plus they’re thinking ‘Why should I go and jeopardize what I’m doing?’ But it should be for the fans.” Here’s an idea, have the game in Detroit, only the winning team gets an all-expenses paid week in Hawaii afterwards.
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As the Anthony Weiner circus continues in New York, here’s a suggestion – why doesn’t Weiner move to San Diego and run for mayor there? Might be the only city in America where his “sext but don’t touch” slimeballness might be a mayoral upgrade?
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A-Rod, after his first rehab game: “I will say this, there’s more than one party that benefits from me never stepping back on the field. That’s not my teammates and not the Yankee fans.” So it’s not about him…. Rodriguez just cares about the little people who would be deprived of watching him play..
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From my friend Howard Fox: “A-Rod says he’s set to return the Yankees unless he’s ‘struck by lightning’. Someone hand him a kite.”
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Newsweek will be sold to IBT (International Business Times) Media. Shocking? Newsweek was still in business?
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Mark Sanchez was booed today during the New York Jets Green and White Scrimmage. Well, it may be early, but good to see that Jets fans at least are in mid-season form.
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Bad timing award? Lots of “BART, and you’re there” commercials in the San Francisco Bay Area, the weekend before what is likely to be a long strike. Or is this BART management’s way of really getting folks behind them in hopes for a quick settlement?
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How did A-Rod expect to keep his PED use secret, he can’t even keep his negotiations with MLB secret.
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Bus to hell moment from T.C. ” Hot Tip of the Year: Do not watch the movie Django Unchained before attending a Kenny Chesney cocert.
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Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: A-Rod jokes, Florida jokes, janice hough jokes, Mark Sanchez jokes, Pro Bowl jokes
Comments: 2 Comments
August 3, 2013
Illinois legalized medical marijuana. At the signing ceremony, Gov. Pat Quinn said “This is really an important day…for helping people who are dealing with pain every day, often times very severe pain.” And presumably the new law will help state residents who aren’t Cubs fans too.
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Negotiations continue between A-Rod and MLB about his suspension. This whole mess is dragging on longer than most of Brett Favre’s retirements.
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Aaron Hernandez apparently wrote a letter from jail proclaiming his innocence, and saying he wants to “prove all the haters and down talkers wrong.” Presumably he just forgot to add the part about finding the real killers?
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Riley Cooper has been excused from the Philadelphia Eagles to undergo counseling after his racial slur. Some worry how this will affect the team, but have to figure Chip Kelly at Oregon got very good at dealing with “distractions.
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Greg Oden signed with the Miami Heat. Guess Oden wanted to be somewhere he felt comfortable driving home with his left blinker on.
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The Texas Alcoholic Beverage Commission saids investigators found “sufficient evidence” that Beamers Private Club in Dallas sold alcohol to Josh Brent when he was already intoxicated person before the fatal crash that killed his teammate. Got it. So the only time they have use for government regulations in Texas is if protecting a football player is involved?
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Who says Congress never does anything? Today the House went on recess but only after voting to repeal Obamacare for the 40TH time. Hey folks, don’t you think if Americans really wanted to repeal Obamacare they’d have voted to “repeal” Obama’s presidency in 2012?
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Kim Kardashian emerged from post-baby seclusion with a taped message wishing her mom “Good Luck” with her new Kris Jenner show. Not that Kim wants publicity or anything but there’s no way to wish your mom good luck without going on television…. Right.
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A 29 year old woman who is an Iraq War veteran and Arizona Cardinals cheerleader was arrested for beating her boyfriend after he got a text from an ex-girlfriend. And maybe Huma Abedin is secretly thinking “Date my husband, please?
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: Aaron Hernandez jokes, Chicago Cubs jokes
Comments: 3 Comments
August 1, 2013
Rolling Stone sales doubled for the issue with the Boston bomber on the the cover. So who are they planning on for their next cover? Ariel Castro, Casey Anthony, Aaron Hernandez?
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Thinking Ariel Castro may not live as long in the regular section of prison as he might have lived on Death Row. And I have no problem with that.
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Castro says he is “not a monster.” And monsters accused anyone making the comparison of monster defamation.
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As Riley Cooper and the Eagles deal with the fallout from his racist rant, perhaps we should consider a new warning label on alcoholic beverages: “Caution, contents may make you forget that WHEREVER you are, there is always a camera phone.”
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This drawn-out nothing-happening wait for MLB to announce their PED suspensions is getting to be reminiscent of the royal baby watch. But at least the Brits got a cute kid at the end of it all.
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Cory Booker said “absolutely yes, unequivocally” that he has ruled out running for President in 2016. Makes sense based on his age and experience. But for a comedy writer’s dream… an election between two men from New Jersey… ah, what might have been.
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Delta Airlines will start 14 hourly shuttle flights Monday through Friday between SFO and LAX, departing every hour on the hour beginning at 7 a.m.. Which is convenient – when your flight is late, at least you’ll know when the alternatives are scheduled.
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A formerly obese man from Northern Ireland said his motivation for losing almost 250 pounds was getting stuck in a stadium turnstile. Hmm, the SF Giants may suggest a new way to enter A T and T Park for Pablo Sandoval.
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Sources say now that #MLB and #ARod are “far apart” on a settlement. Is this a #PED suspension or a celebrity divorce
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Edward Snowden has obtained asylum in Russia. Wonder if one of his first plans after leaving the airport is to see a Pussy Riot concert?
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Have to love all the people who are taking to Facebook to express their support of Edward Snowden’s exposure of government attacks on our privacy…
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Chiefs offensive coordinator Doug Pederson told The Kansas City Star that he thinks QB Alex Smith is “the best in the league.” With all due respect, Smith wasn’t even the best QB on the 49ers.
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The latest rumors out of New York are that Eliot Spitzer, still married, has a girlfriend. Who does he think he is, Rudy Giuliani?
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The driver of that Spanish train that crashed and killed 79 people admitted he was traveling at twice the speed limit, but says he can’t explain why. What, no one pushed him into the throttle?
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From T.C. “An owner of TGIF restaurants in New Jersey has been busted for substituting cheap booze for premium types. “So what’s the big deal?”, asked makers of American “Lite” beers.”
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From Mark: ( in response to my comment that that Pope would follow his tolerant comment about gay priests with something similar about women the day after hell freezes over.)
That would be a pity because if that comes the day after hell freezes over, hockey fans in Toronto and baseball fans in Chicago won’t hear it because they’d have hangover celebrating championships.
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: A-Rod jokes, Ariel Castro jokes, Edward Snowden jokes, janice hough jokes, Rolling Stone cover jokes
Comments: Be the first to comment
August 1, 2013
Interesting statement of understatement from Roger Clemens: “A-Rod was my teammate in New York. I’m glad he was my teammate.. I did things to make him feel comfortable….”
Sometimes you have to wonder. Are Alex Rodriguez and Anthony Weiner in the midst of a secret competition to be the most hated man in New York?
What if they gave a #tradedeadline party and nobody came?
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The Pro Bowl has decided to change the format, so it is no longer AFC vs NFC: In fact conference won’t matter at all. The two top vote-getters will be named captains and get to pick teams, aided by Jerry Rice, Deion Sanders and two NFL.com fantasy football champions. Well that answers one question. “Could the game get any more irrelevant?”
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Mayor Bob Filner has admitted to sexual harassment (and the stories are epic) but now his lawyer is blaming San Diego. Saying that the city should have provided sexual harassment training, and that Filner might never have been sued “had he been properly trained. Even Eliot Spitzer and Anthony Weiner are asking “Have you no shame?”
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The SF Giants’ Javier Lopez, joking about the trade deadline. “Me for #Verlander, straight up.” Actually Lopez is having a better year….
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Although this sentence kind of tells you all you need to know about the SF Giants 2013 season: “The last time the Giants won a Zito road start was Game 5 of the NLCS Championship last October in St. Louis.”
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Lindsay Lohan has apparently left rehab looking “happy and healthy.” So I suppose it would be wrong to start a pool on her next “incident?”
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The latest leak is that the MLBPA has been informed of the upcoming baseball suspensions and they will be announced by Friday. Of course this is supposed to be a SECRET investigation. Anyone left with any doubts how players might somehow have learned how to avoid equally secret random drug tests?
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An owner of 8 New Jersey TGI Fridays restaurants agreed to pay a $500,000 fine for serving customers fake premium booze. Of course, have to wonder how much more than $500,000 they made selling the cheap stuff.
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For all those who worried that the ongoing circus involving the NY Jets would fade away when they traded Tim Tebow, no worries: An anonymous veteran told a reporter Geno Smith has outplayed Mark Sanchez in the first week of training camp….
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What’s more shocking, that the Pittsburgh Pirates didn’t make any major trades at the deadline? Or that if they had, it would have been as buyers instead of sellers?
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: A-Rod jokes, Filner jokes, janice hough jokes, PED jokes, Pro Bowl jokes
Comments: 2 Comments
July 31, 2013
Alex Rodriguez says he would still like to be a “role model.” Would he settle for being a cautionary tale?
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Archaeologists said yesterday they found a new coffin-within-a-coffin in the central England parking lot where the skeleton of King Richard III was discovered. The remains are yet unidentified. Maybe an ancestor of Jimmy Hoffa?
Chris Christie criticized Rand Paul for bringing home pork barrel money to Kentucky, whereupon Paul responded that this was “the king of bacon talking about bacon.” President Obama hasn’t had this much fun since the GOP presidential primaries.
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Oscar “Ossie” Schectman, who scored the first basket in NBA history, died today at the age of 94. Wonder if he scored his own first basket in a pickup game against Greg Oden.
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Bad news for SF Giants fans: Brian Wilson is now a LA Dodger. Good news for SF Giants fans: Brian Wilson is now an LA Dodger
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My Dodger fan friend Jeff Klein suggests that Brian Wilson might want to live on Venice Beach now. Not so sure, the man lives to stand out from the crowd – in Venice most of his get-ups would barely warrant a second look.
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Eliot Spitzer says he is not supporting Anthony Weiner for Mayor. Well, probably shouldn’t have expected the pot to vote for the kettle.
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U.S. Border agents found marijuana on Justin Bieber’s bus as it crossed from Windsor, Canada into Detroit. Beginning to look like this young man is as smart as he is talented.
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A man survived driving his car off a 40 foot cliff in San Diego. Wonder if his last tweet before the crash was “Damn this road is steeeeeeeeeep.”
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Meanwhile in sadder news. But still a Darwin award Texas A&M football player Polo Manukainiu was killed with two friends in a car accident where police believe he fell asleep at the wheel. His last tweet “22 hour drive back to Texas on no sleep – oh my.”
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I know these online deals like “Groupon” are becoming a “thing.” But really, would anyone seriously want half-price Botox injected into their face? Kind of like day-old sushi.
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Carlos Hyde, Ohio State’s top RB, was suspended for “at least” three games after a assault charge was dismissed because the alleged victim declined to press charges. The Buckeyes’ star will miss games against Buffalo, San Diego State, and Cal. If Hyde misbehaves again Urban Meyer will slap his other hand REALLY hard.
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Anthony Weiner in a new ad – “Quit isn’t the way we roll.” Really? Even Brett Favre is saying “Give it up already.”
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Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: A-Rod jokes, Christie jokes, football jokes, janice hough jokes, Richard III jokes, Urban Meyer jokes
Comments: Be the first to comment
July 29, 2013
A United Airlines worker at San Francisco Airport was arrested for allegedly stealing a couple’s luggage and returning some of the clothes inside to Nordstrom for cash. Wonder if United at least refunded the passengers’ baggage fees?
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The Milwaukee Brewers are giving away about $3 million in food and drink vouchers to fans at the ballpark for the rest of the season, basically spending the money they would have paid Ryan Braun. Gosh, if/when A-Rod gets suspended the Yankees could afford to turn their stadium into an all-inclusive resort
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Pope Francis: “Who am I to judge a gay person of goodwill who seeks the Lord?” Can’t wait to see some in the GOP condemn this crazy liberal statement.
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But gosh, what’s next. If the Pope indicates he might be accepting of priests who are gays, how long until he comes up with something truly radical, like saying the same about women. (Yeah, the day after hell freezes over.)
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Must say since the SF Giants don’t appear likely to make the playoffs, it would be fun to see a Rays-Pirates World Series. Especially as it would probably make Fox executives heads’ explode.
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#JasonGiambi, 42 years and 202 days old, goes yard to game in bottom of 9th to win it for the Indians. Do we call it a walker-off home run?
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MLB says that David Ortiz will not be suspended for destroying two dugout phones with his bat last weekend in Baltimore. Maybe because even in the dugout no one uses land line phones now anyway?
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Pete Rose says that a big part of A-Rod’s problem is that he “lacks self-confidence,” Rose said. I don’t know. Regarding PED’s Rodriguez seems to have had plenty of confidence in his ability to get away with it.
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#AnthonyWeiner is now in fourth place in the latest NY mayoral poll. Why? Because there is no fifth place.
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President Obama, congratulating the SF Giants on their 2012 World Championship: “You guys are a second-half team. I expect you to be a second-half team this time around.” And wonder how many of the Giants responded “Back at ya, Mr. President.”
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Many fans are waiting eagerly or anxiously for MLB’s decision on the Biogenesis players. Suspensions which will be less for PED’s than for being stupid enough to get caught.
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A new University of California study found that dangerous staph infections can be spread at the gym. Leading to a whole new category of excuse “I’d love to go work out honey, but I’m concerned about my health.”
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Another train crash in Europe. This time in Switzerland. Guessing that television stations are being VERY careful about reading the names of engineers.
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Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: A-Rod jokes, airline jokes, bus to hell jokes, PED jokes, Pope jokes, Weiner jokes, Yankees jokes
Comments: 2 Comments
July 28, 2013
Now that the royal baby is born, thousands of British reporters no longer have a good reason to stand around and watch nothing happen. Perhaps they can talk their editors into sending them over to Washington D.C. to watch Congress.
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The satiric U.K. magazine, “Private Eye,” dealt with all the frenzy last week with a simple headline “Woman has baby.”
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Saturday the Oakland A’s had “Turn Back the Clock Day”, and honored their 1969 team’s jerseys. The SF Giants apparently also decided to turn back the clock, and honored their 1985 team’s 100 loss season.
(And for any Dodgers’ fans reading this blog. Or readers who have Dodger fan friends, please adjust punchline to 1992. When Los Angeles lost 99 games….
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#SFGiants fans are lamenting what looks like lost year. Same pain but on a SLIGHTLY smaller scale than #Cubs fans and their lost century.
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A Hawaii man is suing Delta for allegedly making him crawl down the aisle of its planes and across the tarmac to reach his wheelchair on a 2012 trip, because a flight attendant told him “they couldn’t get him off the plane” otherwise. Just guessing if he had stayed in his seat they’d have figured out a way.
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As Yankees GM Brian Cashman says that A-Rod should “Go ahead and file a grievance” with the union if he thinks the Yankees are preventing him from playing, manager Joe Girardi says that he doesn’t expect Rodriguez to be a distraction when he does return to the team. Translation, Girardi doesn’t think A-Rod WILL be back with the Yankees.
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No new revelations about Anthony Weiner today. Of course it IS the weekend.
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The West beat the East 102 to 98 in today’s WNBA All-Star game. And if you bet on the game you don’t have to ask – you DO have a gambling problem.
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Ryan Braun becomes the first of what might be many PED suspensions this week, and there are seven shutouts in MLB Saturday, including four 1-0 games. Am sure it’s only coincidence.
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: Giants jokes, janice hough. WNBA jokes, royal baby jokes
Comments: 3 Comments
Left Coast Sports Babe 