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Bad seeds?

March 17, 2012

For the first time in NCAA history, three teams with seed numbers 13 or higher won their first round games. Does this mean that weaker teams are getting better? Or that the seeding committee is getting worse?

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Although before experts from other fields, like politics, start really criticizing sports experts -how many political pundits had Rick Santorum in the GOP Final Four?

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Thieves apparently stole a 500-lb beehive from a Houston restaurant. The owner said it contained as many as 5,000 bees he was raising for their honey. Wonder if police will go after the crooks with a sting operation?

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So do those who had Missouri and Duke into the Final Four become honorary Irishmen for drinking on St. Patricks’ Day?
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The Cincinnati Bearcats blew all of a 19 point lead against Texas, but came back to win their first round game and are still alive. Wonder if they got a congratulatory call from Mitt Romney.

(added Alex Schubert, “At the beginning, Texas took more bad shots than Dick Cheney.”)

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A reporter asked Sarah Palin if she saw the Norfolk State game. Her response, “Don’t try to fool me, I KNOW Norfolk is not a state.

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Peyton Manning had said he hoped to make a decision by this Tuesday. It’s Friday…. “Atta boy.” said Brett Favre.

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ESPN is reporting that Peyton Manning also worked out for San Francisco 49ers coach Jim Harbaugh and took a physical for the team this week. Looks like Harbaugh is 1000 % behind Alex Smith.

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Rick Santorum is really getting aggressive in his campaign. When he saw an ad for the hit show “The Book of Mormon” his alleged response was “See, another example of intellectual elitism, Mormons read books.”

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300 people waited overnight in the rain in San Francisco for the newest iPad. And guess what gals, these guys are single.

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Kansas State guard Angel Rodriguez, who is Puerto Rican, says he has accepted Southern Mississippi’s apology and moved on. (Some students chanted “get a green card” at him during the game.) Wonder how many other Southerners heard the remarks and said “Makes sense, those foreigners are at least polite.”

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Dwight Howard, who made headlines earlier this year by asking for a trade, now says he also wants to stay next year with Orlando – ““I’m very loyal and I’ve always put loyalty above anything.” If this basketball stuff doesn’t work out Howard has a great future in politics.

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There’s a report that Rush Limbaugh actually has a new sponsor interested in his show – the Westboro Baptist Church. Well, birdbrains of a feather…. (Actually, I shouldn’t make that joke, it’s insulting to birds.)

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Mitt Romney says Rick Santorum’s plan is economic illiteracy. And Santorum responds “There you go promoting elite stuff like literacy again.”

Meghan McCain posed (with clothes on) and was interviewed for the April issue of Playboy. She calls herself “strictly ‘dickly'” and says, “I love sex.” Anyone else secretly hoping she connects with and starts influencing the Romney and/or Santorum kids?

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Rammed?

March 16, 2012

Open note to NCAA selection committee: Maybe you shouldn’t give VCU any more double digit seeds.

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For all starting early for Saturday, here’s a suggested St. Patrick’s Day toast – May your troubles last as long as your perfect brackets!

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During their NCAA game Thursday, Southern Miss. band members taunted Kansas State player Angel Rodriguez by chanting “Where’s your green card?” Racist and stupid yes. But what elevates this to a higher level of ignorance – apparently the students went after Rodriguez because they found he was from Puerto Rico.

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Not sure about this anti-education attitude of Rick Santorum. Someone asked one of his supporters what he thought of Murray State today, and the guy replied “Not sure when their primary is, but I’m sure the voters of Murray will support Santorum’s true conservative message.”

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The Portland Trail Blazers have waived Greg Oden — the #1 overall pick in the 2007 draft. On the bright side for Oden, he should be eligible for Medicare.

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Peyton Manning and the Titans met for over eight hours last night. Eight hours!? That’s longer than at least one of Brett Favre’s retirements.

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ESPN’s top 10 reason’s your team won’t land Tim Tebow: (My son Carey and I both have one), http://espn.go.com/espn/page2/story/_/id/7688839/readers-provide-top-10-reasons-their-team-land-peyton-manning

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Joe Nelson, a former Goldman Sachs employee from London (not the one who wrote the NY Times op-ed), has started a company making custom-fit condoms. Insert “covering a bunch of p***ks joke” here:

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In Lafayette, CO, near Boulder, police ticketed a man who is accused of tying his cat’s leash to a rock after the pet refused to go jogging. Wonder if they had to bring the ticket to the hospital while the guy was getting stitches?

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Rick Santorum says on his website now that a “wealth of research” now shows that pornography causes “profound brain changes, with widespread negative consequences.” If true this also shows strong cause why men should be banned from both Congress and the military.

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Santorum’s campaign is the latest to bring up the Romney vacation story. As his senior staffer John Brabender said ‘What the heck was he thinking, putting the dog on the top of the roof?’ Santorum, of course, would never make a dog ride on his car roof… a gay person or a single woman asking for birth control maybe.

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Rick Santorum, who was quoted saying English as the “main language” in Puerto Rico had to be a requirement for achieving statehood, now is backtracking from that statement and saying he was misquoted”

Santorum’s not trying to catch Mitt Romney, he’s trying to BE Mitt Romney.

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The Blunt-Rubio amendment says that if an employer or insurance plan has any “religious or moral objection,” then a health care service can be excluded from coverage. Okay, let’s leave sex out of this, does that mean if an employer has moral objections to drinking and/or smoking, can they can refuse to cover anyone’s resulting liver or lung cancer?

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From Marc Ragovin: Despite a string of losses in the primaries and trailing badly in the delegate count, Newt Gingrich has vowed to carry on to Tampa, and guarantees that he will be the eventual GOP nominee. Ya know, I swear that every time Newt speaks Callista’s nose gets a little longer.

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When I’m 64….

March 15, 2012

The “play-ins” are done. Am I the only person who wonders, with 64 teams and at least 30-35 games before tournaments, haven’t teams had a chance to “play-in” already?

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Well, we know why Rick Santorum hasn’t filled out March Madness brackets: He thinks being able to count to 64 is elitist.

(as my friend Rich points out, to say nothing of 68.)

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Mitt Romney told reporters he’s not “plugged in” enough to fill out a 2012 NCAA tournament bracket. Talk about out of touch, poor Mitt doesn’t realize the great American office tradition of March Madness decision making, “Eenie, meenie, minie, moe…, my best friend went there…. and hey, what a cute mascot….”

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At the half of their play-in game, it was USF 36, Cal 13. Did someone forget it was March and schedule a football game.

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Congrats to the Vermont Catamounts for winning their play-in game. The question for the night, without using Google, what is a “catamount.” And for you cat-haters out there, no it does not involve nailing pets to the wall.

(and no, for Romney fans it’s not like “dogamount,” – mounting your dog to the car roof.

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Despite what is clearly a bad situation, Newt Gingrich says he is staying in the GOP race. Newt might be doing better had he shown that kind of tenacity in sticking with his marriages.

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Open note to anyone watching USF dismantle Cal during the play-in game: The University of South Florida is in Tampa. (West of Orlando and about 200 miles north of Miami.). Floridians are better at sports than they are at geography.

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Courtney Robertson, who got at least temporarily engaged to Ben Flajnik on “The Bachelor” may apparently be joining “Dancing with the Stars.” Well, that ought to address all those rumors she was just in it for the publicity.

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A test program by TSA will allow the elderly to keep their shoes on at certain airport checkpoints, including O’Hare, Orlando and Portland, OR. Well, if he ever gets healthy that will make life easier for Greg Oden.

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American Idol contestant Jermaine Jones has been booted from the show for (relatively recent) past undisclosed arrests. When will these kids learn the basic rule – become a star first, and THEN you can get arrested.

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Rick Santorum told Puerto Ricans if they wanted statehood then they must make English their primary language. – “Like any other state, there has to be compliance with this and any other federal law.” I think I’m getting this, Santorum is for states rights as long as states do what he thinks is right.

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A new study says that men who eat a high fat diet may experience more than a 40% drop in sperm count. Yikes, does that mean Rick Santorum may want to outlaw KFC as birth control?

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So much for “play ball.” Parents of that Lennox (CA) Little League team that was saved by a $1200 from a local strip club have voted to refuse the money. (Idiots, IMHO.) Wonder how many fathers offered to return the donation, one dollar at a time.

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Mike D’Antoni resigned as coach of the New York Knicks. Clearly he could handle Linsanity better than Melo-ness.

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Rick Santorum on Mitt Romney: “It’s pretty sad when all you have is to do math instead of trying to go out there and win it.” Uh, has no one told Santorum that math will figure pretty heavily into the results this November?

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Dropping the balls

March 14, 2012

Syracuse star freshman Fab Melo has been ruled ineligible for the NCAA men’s basketball tournament. Gentlemen, start erasing your brackets.

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Iona blew a 25 point lead tonight in losing to BYU. Did they get their playbook from Mitt Romney?

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Barack Obama took U.K. Prime Minister to a play-in NCAA men’s basketball game tonight. Which Cameron said he enjoyed, although he originally thought “March Madness” referred to the Republican primaries.

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The Pac 12 has announced their next three conference tournaments will be in Las Vegas. Perfect. This way all those who bet on the NIT will have a chance to see their potential favorites up close and personal.

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Mitt Romney, in Southerner mode, talked about “Davy Crockett, who killed himself a bear, when he was only three.” Uh, Mitt, if you’re going to quote the song in the South it’s “kilt him a bar, when he was only three.”

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UCLA announced Tuesday that Ben Howland will remain on the job as men’s basketball coach. Translation, we’re already on the hook for paying him and who else would take over this mess?

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Anyone else think that “the Bachelor” Ben’s proposal to Courtney will turn out to be as lasting relevant long term as a vote for Rick Perry in the GOP primaries?

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A Delta jet was undergoing maintenance tests in Atlanta today when it rolled off a runway and down an embankment. Sounds like the tests went about as well as SATs go for SEC football players.

(actually the interesting question, apparently it was brake failure – but did the brakes fail, or did they fail to set the brakes.)

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Hyatt Hotels says that they will start installing new TV’s with internet capability in guest rooms, so guests can log into Facebook or email, or stream Netflix movies on their in-room screens. Great, this will mean one more thing in a hotel room besides the alarm clock I can’t figure out.

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A new bill in the California State Assembly proposes to ban violent fans from professional sporting events, although not from college and minor league games. Leaving aside the “how do they enforce it? question, have to wonder, why leave out a really scary group – some parents of Little Leaguers.

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Something airline passengers may not have heard before, the pilot asking “Is anyone allergic to penguins?” Two penguins flew on Delta today, in first class, from Atlanta to New York to attend the premiere of Discovery Channel’s “Frozen Planet.” No doubt they were better behaved than many children, and some adults.

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Rick Santorum is now accusing Fox News of “shilling” for Mitt Romney, and saying they don’t want him on their shows. Well, let’s see, MSNBC probably isn’t an option…but Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert would love to have him.

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President Obama’s women’s bracket has Baylor, St. John’s, Connecticut and Notre Dame in the Final Four. He must not be fundraising anytime soon in Northern California.

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The Dow closed up over 200 points, to 13,177.68 today. This is bad continued unemployment news – for Mitt Romney.

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From T.C. Paraphrasing Canadian Golfer Dan Halldorson about the NIT Tournament. Winning this would be similar to getting a trophy for “Tallest Midget”.

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Gentleman and ladies, start your brackets.

March 13, 2012

If you’re looking for someone’s predictions to copy for March Madness, may I suggest anyone but Harold Camping.

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President Obama said he is working on his men’s and women’s brackets. And Mitt Romney immediately condemned him by saying tax brackets for both are high enough already.

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So now that Linsanity isn’t helping anymore for the Knicks, what’s plan B? Is Bill Bradley available?

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Lennox Little League, in Los Angeles County, didn’t have enough money for this year until local businesses stepped in. Including a $1200 donation from the Jet Strip “gentlemen’s club” (aka a strip club.) So guess this means it will be “batter up,” after getting many fathers up.

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Mitt Romney, on the horrific shooting of Afghan citizens by a U.S. soldier, and what America should do now, said that he “wouldn’t jump to a new policy” because of a “deranged, crazy person.” Uh, some would say that in aping Santorum and Gingrich, that Mitt already has done that repeatedly.

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The success of the 49ers and Alex Smith last year was a joy for fans, but tough for local comedy writers. God taketh away and God giveth – Here comes Randy Moss.

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Stanford women’s basketball team is #1 seed in the NCAA tournament and heading for Norfolk. For those who don’t know how to pronounce the Virginia city, here’s the simple cheer they use in the South. (I used to live in Florida). “We don’t drink, we don’t smoke, Norfolk! Norfolk.”

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The owner of the Pittsburgh Power, an Arena Football League team, fired all 24 players during a pregame meal at an Orlando-area Olive Garden. For the men involved, it was the worst thing to happen to them at an Olive Garden, well, that didn’t involve actually eating the food.

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Former V.P. Dick Cheney cancelled a April speaking engagement in Toronto, because based on demonstrations during his Vancouver visit last fall he and his daughter decided “it was better for their personal safety they stay out of Canada.” Well, guess that means we won’t see Cheney in San Francisco any time either.

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A TCU football player charged with selling marijuana allegedly told a police officer that 82 people failed a team wide drug test in early February. Wow. Looks like the Horned Frog football program may really have hit the big time.

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The NCAA banned North Carolina football from the 2012 post-season, saying “This case should serve as a cautionary tale to all institutions to vigilantly monitor the activities of those student-athletes who possess the potential to be top professional prospects.” Well, all institutions who aren’t part of the SEC anyway.

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So when Peyton Manning makes his decision will ESPN air an “After the Final Rose” show?

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Surveys of likely GOP voters in Alabama and Mississippi found that only 12-14% believe President Obama is a Christian. Well, I suppose this does bolster Rick Santorum with his disbelief in the idea of evolution.

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Got to love this. United Airlines has had a special phone number for their most elite fliers when they are having problems with the United.com website. If you have post-merger problems and call it now, the message says “We are experiencing extended hold times, we suggest you use our website.”

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Rep. Cliff Stearns of Florida responded to a question from an elderly consitutent about Obama’s birth certificate by saying “The question is, is it legitimate? I think what Obama’s showing is a facsimile, but I think that debate probably is not enough just to impeach him.” Guess with the other Southern primaries this week Florida couldn’t let the loonie spotlight get away.

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Glee” star Heather Morris is the latest celebrity to have alleged naked pictures (allegedly from her phone) “stolen” and posted online. When will people learn, if you take your clothes off turn your phone off….

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Men can ignore these last comments: Ben to Courtney on the Bachelor, “you are my forever.” Or at least my for “until I see the videos of the show in March.”

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Watching Courtney on the Bachelor makes me realize that if this thing doesn’t work out with Rielle, John Edwards might have found his trophy wife soulmate.

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Anyone else think Ben’s proposal might have as much lasting relevance as a vote for Rick Perry in the 2012 GOP Primary?

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Madness time.

March 11, 2012

First day of moving clocks ahead really should be referred to “Stumble forward.” “Spring”ing takes a few days.

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And the worst thing for many Americans about this year’s switch to Daylight Savings Time – they won’t be at their best when trying to fill out brackets.

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At the All-Star Break the New York Knicks were looking like a team that could go deep into the playoffs. Now they’re looking like a team that would be on the wrong side of the NCAA tournament bubble.

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Brackets were announced Sunday for the March Madness NCAA Tournament. Which means at about a dozen schools you can still hear the screams already “We wuz robbed of a chance to be destroyed by North Carolina in the opening round.”

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So if a team loses in the play-in game, do they call it “one-half and done”?

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Western Kentucky University (15-18) is in the NCAA’s despite a losing record since they won their Sun Belt Conference tournament. Many college fans find this shocking that a team with such a lousy record is in the Big Dance. (In a bowl game, maybe.)

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New York Knicks losing their fifth straight, even with Jeremy Lin, Peyton Manning may be about to replace Tim Tebow in Denver. Maybe God just got tired of following sports?
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Later Sunday, brackets were revealed for the NIT. This year to be subtitled “The Pac 12 Invitational.”

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In the Cadillac Championship Sunday, Sergio Garcia shot a 12 on the par-4 third hole. Yes, a 12. It was the ugliest several minutes involving a golf club since Elin and Tiger’s 2009 Thanksgiving.

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From Gary M. “Mark Sanchez’s contract extension with the New York Jets: “Not bad for a QB whose college coach said Mark needed another year of college ball before he’d be ready for the NFL. Now he’s surprassed his USC salary.”

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Randy Moss working out for the 49ers? If he signs who wants to join a pool for the number of days before Moss causes a Harbaugh meltdown?

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Speaker of the House John Boehner says of Congress, “We got some of the smartest people in the country who serve here, and some of the dumbest.” Well, these days you’d probably get bipartisan agreement on the latter.

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Another response to the reproductive rights controversy: An Ohio state senator has a bill requiring men wanting prescriptions for Viagra or any other ED drugs to first see a sex therapist, receive a cardiac stress test and get a notarized affidavit signed by a sexual partner affirming impotency. I’m wondering why she doesn’t add “and promise that the sex would be for procreation.”

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For those who can’t find enough political wackiness in the GOP primaries, I give you this: A bill passed by the Florida legislature this week contained an amendment stating that it will once again be legal (after 45 years of a ban) to dye animals the color of your choice.

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Hard knocks?

March 9, 2012

San Diego Chargers QB Philip Rivers just enthusiastically endorsed Rick Santorum for President. The NFL is reviewing tapes to see if the Saints or any other team gave him a particularly hard hit to the head.

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Mitt Romney said in an Alabama radio interview that the state’s upcoming primary is “a bit of an away game.” Right, but to put it in real Alabama football terms, considering the amount of money Mitt has spent (more than his opponents combined), it’s like an away game for the Crimson Tide against U Mass.

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Cindy McCain ripped the movie “Game Change” because, amongst other things, “my husband is way cuter than Ed Harris.” And we thought John was the McCain who was getting old and amongst other things, losing his eyesight.

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As pundits discuss the possible teams interested in Peyton Manning, have to wonder, had a certain four-game losing streak continued, would one of those teams had been his brother’s NY Giants?

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The feds are investigating the Auburn’s mens’ basketball team for alleged point shaving. Shocking. An investigation into the SEC and football is not involved?

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Peyton Manning said he will make a decision about 2012 within a week. “You can do that?” responded Brett Favre.

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Some are wondering why Sarah Palin is backing Newt Gingrich. One possible reason? He makes her look stable.

(Augie says, maybe she’s vying to be his fourth wife?)

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Taco Bell has just announced their nationwide rollout of the “Doritos Locos Taco” – a taco inside a shell that is basically a Nacho Cheese Dorito. But hey, for the health conscious, the “Supreme” version comes with reduced-fat sour cream.

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Meanwhile, Coca Cola is adjusting its caramel color. Because “4-MEI”,, part of the current formula is on a California list of additives that will soon require a cancer warning label. So this is good news for all the health-food fans who guzzle Coke.

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Jonathan Papelbon told a Philadelphia radio station that Phillies fans “tend to know the game a little better” than fans in Boston. Well, all those folks who printed up the “Johnny Damon is Judas” t-shirts will be getting out the silk screens again.

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The Orlando Magic’s Dwight Howard is indicating that if he gets traded, he wants to be “the guy” on whatever team he ends up on. Uh, only one problem Dwight, as Lebron might tell you, when a team has just one “guy” they usually end up watching most of the playoffs at home.

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Michelle Bachmann claims the outrage over Rush Limbaugh’s comments is hypocritical and just because he is a conservative. Well, liberals may be overly gleeful about the controversy, but imagine the reaction if Jon Stewart referred to a promiment GOP woman or her daughter as a “slut.”

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Before he died, Andrew Breitbart claimed he had an incendiary video that could take down President Obama. The 1991 video show Obama speaking at a peaceful Harvard rally about tenuring black professors. College students protest? Gosh. And where was the outrage about Romney at Stanford protesting in favor of the Vietnam War?

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On the other hand, solar flares are hitting the Earth today, with possible disruptions to communications systems and power grids. It’s all Obama’s fault.

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These days, Mitt Romney is almost hoping someone has a scandalous video of him. Might help his image. Something racy like having a beer, or dancing, or kissing a girl in college..

And okay readers, let’s make this an interactive post. What would be a scandalous video for Mittens? Other friends’ suggestions have been, going out without hair gel, shopping at Walmart, or having a double latte at Starbucks (Mormons are not supposed to drink caffeine.)

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Snookered?

March 8, 2012

Snooki says in an US Magazine interview that she found out she was pregnant about a week after New Year’s Eve, and that her first thought was, “‘[Bleep], I’ve been drinking!'” Open note to the GOP, there are scarier things than birth control.

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Peyton Manning said today “I’ll always be a Colt.” Surprised he couldn’t hear the snickers coming all the way from Baltimore.

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If some of the New Orleans Saints had rebelled against the pay for defense system would it have been considered Mutiny on the Bounties?

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Peyton Manning with Colts owner Jim Irsay at his press conference about leaving: “It wasn’t his decision. It wasn’t my decision. Circumstances kind of dictated it,” Sounds like if he retires from football Manning has a great future as a press secretary for some politician explaining their next divorce.

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Facebook had a major outage in Europe today. Oh the horror, millions of Europeans were forced actually to sit at their computers and work.

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Not a good time to be a white supremacist in the U.S. We’ve got a black president, an Asian-American basketball star, and a Filipino-Mexican-American (Jessica Sanchez) has got to be the front-runner on American Idol.

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In January, Mitt Romney said the minimum wage should be indexed to rise automatically with inflation. Today he said while “inflation is something you should look at, you should “keep America competitive… so right now there’s probably not a need to raise the minimum wage.” Stay tuned after November, when both Mitt and John Kerry jointly invest in Waffle House.

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Los Angeles Lakers lost to the Washington Wizards after leading by 20 points in 3rd quarter. And here Kobe says he has no rival. I don’t know, tonight he did a pretty good LeBron James impersonation.

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NFL league image may be suffering from “Bountygate.” On other hand, odds of Peyton Manning suffering a career ending injury in 2012 from a hard hit have probably just gone down considerably.

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In Oxnard, California, teachers and parents are being asked to discourage middle school children from “searching for and/or visiting “inappropriate sites”, after stories surfaced that a teacher who might have been moonlighting as a porn star. In related news, requests for fathers for parent-teacher conferences are way up.

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From my friend Alex Kaseberg: “Harvard makes NCAA Tournament. Needs work on trash talk: “Your Matriarch is so corpulent I am concerned about her risk of heart disease.”
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The NFL Players Association is now looking into the Bounty controversy. Wonder if it will just be outrage over the idea, or also the idea that players weren’t paid enough.

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A story in the NY Daily News said that baseball owners will vote against the Oakland A’s attempted move to Santa Clara. MLB denies the story and says no decision has been reached. Well, of course, the blue ribbon committee has only been meeting for 3 years on the subject. As opposed to Selig’s expanded playoff idea, decided and scheduled instantly….

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Facing a distinct lack of enthusiasm, Mitt Romney’s campaign is falling back on the argument that Mitt holds a commanding lead in the state-by-state delegate math. And Rick Santorum’s response? “Math? More proof that Romney is a liberal who can’t be trusted.”

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ProFlowers is one of the advertisers that dropped Rush Limbaugh. Makes sense. Could be a little awkward for guys sending “thanks for a nice evening” flowers to a woman, when in Rush’s words she’s just acted like a “slut.”

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Not that I am always a fan of government, but for those who say the private sector always does it better, I give you, United Airlines. Four days after the merger with Continental their most preferred client phone lines still have 2-3 hour delays. Not that air travel is ever time sensitive….

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Pat Robertson’s latest: “Now Catholics say that fornication, if you will, sex outside of marriage, is a sin. This woman is saying ‘I’m going to be committing sin but I want you to pay for my sin.” Yeah, I guess I can see the church’s point about spending money. Especially since they are still paying off cases involving their priests.

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You’re a rich girl…..

March 6, 2012

Ann Romney said in a Fox News interview “I don’t even consider myself wealthy.” What’s her definition of wealthy? When you can no longer remember how many houses you have?

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AOL has now become the 8th advertiser to drop Rush Limbaugh. They would have done it sooner, but their executives who download AOL to keep up on the news just found out about the scandal.

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Some want Rush Limbaugh’s talk show off the the air. Not sure. At this point he’s doing a great job fundraising for the Democratic party

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A new channel, “Dog TV” is expanding in the U.S. For $4.99 a month (and who knows how much electricity) dog owners are supposed to leave the TV on while they are out, so that their pets don’t suffer from anxiety issues, boredom and depression. And we wonder why other countries hate us.

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Pat Robertson’s theory on why all those devastating tornadoes hit the Midwest last week – not enough prayer: “”If enough people were praying [God] would’ve intervened. Wonder how many people it would take praying to have God get rid of Pat Robertson?

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You can’t make this “stuff” up – United-Continental merger division: “If you have forgotten your PIN, you will need to change it to proceed. Please complete the following information to change your MileagePlus PIN.” And you start by entering the CURRENT PIN. (Yes, the one you’ve forgotten.)

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Last week, former Cal QB Joe Ayoob broke a Guinness World Record by throwing a paper airplane 226 feet, 10 inches. Brett Favre tried to top him, but the airplane was intercepted and run back for a touchdown.

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A new Lifetime reality show titled “Bristol Palin: Life’s a Tripp,” will “offer an insight into the life of the 21-year-old mother as she raises her 3-yr old son,”, and “also focus on her relationship with her parents, Sarah and Todd Palin, and her siblings.” In related news, Sarah Palin blasted the media for not leaving her family alone.

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Syracuse University said they allowed 10 players who violated their drug policy to continue playing basketball. Gosh. What’s next? Admitting the players didn’t always live up to academic standards either?

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No telling for sure now how many of the failed tests involved marijuana, though rumors are that it was most of them. Guess maybe the Orangemen’s defense was that they wanted to get their players NBA ready.

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Ndamukong Suh. commenting on the bounty situation: “Me personally, I don’t take part in those things and knowing my teammates and knowing my coaches, we wouldn’t allow that.” Possible translation? “I like to stomp people for free.”

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No doubt the Saints will pay for being caught in a bounty scandal. But teams are trying to knock their opponents’ stars out of games? In related news from Casablanca, Captain Renault is still “shocked, shocked to find that gambling is going on in here.”

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Another quote from from a wacky liberal on the GOP primary: “It’s been I think, the worst campaign I’ve ever seen in my life. I hate it. I hate the fact that people think ‘compromise’ is a dirty word.” The speaker, former first lady Barbara Bush.

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It’s not going to happen but….you go girl! Stacey Newman, a Missouri House member who’s frustrated with all the recent debates over birth control and abortions, has proposed legislation to allow vasectomies only when necessary to protect a man from serious injury or death..

(my friend Candace Cambra adds that Virginia State Senator Janet Howell, introduced an amendment to a mandatory ultrasound bill that would require men to have a rectal exam before being prescribed Viagra.)

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Former NFL wide receiver Randy Moss will tryout for New Orleans on Tuesday. Guess they figure having him in a Saints uniform can’t be any more embarrassing than “Bounty-gate.”

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Crashing and burning.

March 4, 2012

The Costa Concordia wasn’t Captain Schettino’s first mishap. He also crashed a second cruise ship in 2010 resulting in minor damage while entering a German port. If Schettino can somehow avoid jail, wonder if he’ll be offered a job with the GoDaddy.com racing team.

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Wonder how many folks will be turning into this week’s Nascar race, not in hopes of watching two cars crash into each other. But in hopes of watching another fuel truck flambee.

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A 26 year old Florida teacher was arrested and charged with “unlawful sexual activity” with a minor after a 16 year old boy told police they were in love and had had sex in her car. Records showed that the pair had traded more than 12,000 text messages in 4 months. On the bright side, sounds like the kid definitely has learned how to read and write.

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Guess Bobby Valentine wanted to make a statement. Boston beat D3 Northeastern University in baseball today 25-0. Following the game the Red Sox were made honorary SEC football boosters.

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In the “cheer up it could be worse category”, example A this week has to be the New Orleans Saints. A couple days ago the biggest embarrassment the team was facing was not being able to work out a contract extension with Drew Brees.

(adds my friend Michael Duca, “Brees should look on the bright side – they could have put a bounty on him.”)

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On the first day after the United-Continental merger was finalized, reportedly 16% of United flights were on time Saturday from O’Hare airport. Normally when people are this frustrated in Chicago, the Cubs are involved.

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The New York Knicks are apparently so excited about the way that they are playing lately that they had a meeting with a doctor to talk about ways to combat insomnia. Presumably the doctor suggested things like warm milk, counting sheep, and watching tapes of the Charlotte Bobcats games.

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Rush Limbaugh has now apologized for calling Sandra Fluke a “slut.” Saying “I did not mean a personal attack on Ms. Fluke.” Uh, if Rush doesn’t think “slut” is a personal attack, starting to understand why his marriages have lasted as long as Mitt Romney’s positions.

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Am wondering where Sarah Palin was on this one. Since she was so upset about personal attacks on her daughter as an unwed mother… Or is it only off-limits for the media to go after Republican young women who have pre-marital sex?

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Rush Limbaugh is referring to Claire McCaskell as a “commie babe liberal.” Hey, that wouldn’t make a bad t-shirt.
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Nothing can go wrong… More in the United merger department: Client flying SF to JFK March 4 got “You have received this notification because the first flight in your upcoming UA itinerary is operated by TAM and/or its partners. To check in for this trip, please proceed to TAM’s website or their check-in area at the airport” (TAM only flies to and within Brazil.. and not to SF at all.)

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Former San Jose coach Ron Wilson was just fired by the Toronto Maple Leafs after a 1-9-1 stretch. Or as Sharks fans call that, having the team in his playoff form.

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“The Lorax” has pulled in over $17 million this weekend. Wonder how much of that was people piling into their SUVs and driving to see the movie in giant multiplexes?.

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Spring training games start today. Guess that means we’re watching for the little furry thing who lives in Brian Wilson’s beard to pop out and see if he sees his shadow.

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This may only make sense to San Francisco Bay Area readers…But it’s a good day in the San Francisco area when you turn on the radio, and, surprise, it’s Kruk and Kuip on the radio again calling a Giants game.

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Crazy?

March 3, 2012

An article in an upcoming article in CFA magazine (a trade publication for investment professionals) says that one out of every 10 Wall Street employees is probably a clinical psychopath. Only one in 10?

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Darwin runner-up of the week: A 9 year old boy is recovering after being attacked by a cheetah when he, his mother, and two friends decided to get out of their car at a Dutch Safari park. The park said in a statement that, “Sadly, they missed the warning signs telling them to keep doors and windows shut.”

(Follow-up thought and bad pun of the week – was the cat looking for Chee-toes? Or Chee-fingers?)

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The Yankees have indicated they will cut payroll from $210 million to $187 million by 2014. This is like Mitt Romney saying his wife won’t always have the latest model Cadillacs.

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$187 million? Isn’t that about a decade’s payroll for the Pittsburgh Pirates?”

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Email from R.I.M./ Blackberry “Totally new. Completely exciting. All BlackBerry.” I’d settle for “We’ve figured out how to keep our system from crashing.”

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Reactions around the NFL from other teams to the Saints’ bounty program. 1. We are outraged. 2. Quick, purge all our computer files.

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Here we go. Now it comes out that the Washington Redskins also had a bounty system for their defense. Fortunately for Redskins opponents the team was as good at taking out opposing players as they were at everything else.

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Regarding that 41 year old Modesto high school teacher who quit to shack up with an 18 year old student. Is he hoping to be Secretary of Education in a possible Gingrich administration? (The age gap is the same actually with Newt and Callista)

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Sleep Train has dropped their advertising on Rush Limbaugh’s show after his “slut” comments about a college student who wanted to testify on birth control insurance. A bizarre sidelight is that Rush, on his fourth marriage, at least one that started with an affair while he was married, would dare call ANYONE a slut.

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Men behaving badly.

March 2, 2012

Really? A 41-year old high school teacher from Modesto quit his job, left his wife and kids, and moved into an apartment with an 18 year old student. James Hooker said he knows the couple hurt a lot of people, but says they “decided to follow their hearts.” Maybe she did. Thinking he followed something a bit lower.

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A 41 year old and an 18 year old though…. Even Donald Trump and Newt Gingrich are saying “Eeww…’ (Barely.)

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Arizona sheriff Joe Arpaio is being accused of inadequately investigating sex-crimes. And a grand jury is investigating his alleged abuses of power. So Arpaio’s response? Calling a news conference to say he has probable cause to believe Obama’s long-form birth certificate is a forgery.

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Cincinnati Bengals receiver Jerome Simpson pled guilty to a drug-related felony charge and is expected to receive a 60 day jail sentence. 60 days? For a felony? What, did prosecutors figure being a Bengal is punishment enough?

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President Obama thinks Mitt Romney’s father George would roll over in his grave at his son’s behavior towards the auto industry? Heck, the Romney who was Governor of Massachusetts would roll over in his grave if he listened to Mitt 3.0, or 4.0, or whatever he is now.

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NBC plans to televise the America’s Cup from San Francisco in 2013. How bad does your lineup have to be before televising billionaires racing multimillion $ boats (in races no one understands) is considered an potential ratings improvement?

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The Yankees have announced that by 2014 they plan to drastically trim their payroll from $210 millionn to $189 million. More ammunition for Mitt Romney’s claim that millionaires need tax cuts.

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Regarding this story of Tiger Woods wanting to be a Navy Seal. I can see it now, they storm into Bin Laden’s complex, and Woods stops to hit on one of Osama’s younger wives….

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A new Los Angeles County rule allows pet-owners to bring their dogs to outdoor dining areas. Well, dogs are almost certainly better behaved than many children. And some Hollywood actors.

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According to the U.K. Telegraph, a new study published in the British Medical Journal “Open” found that anyone taking sleeping pills twice a month is four times more likely to die in the next two and a half years than someone taking none at all. Great, one more thing to lie awake worrying about.

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A Montana federal judge, Richard Cebull, is claiming he forwarded a racist joke about Obama’s mother to friends and colleagues not because he is racist, but because he dislikes the President. Forget whether or not Cebull is a bigot, he’s just too stupid to be a judge.

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Some conservatives are downplaying the Montana judge’s forwarding of an offensive racist joke about Obama’s mother. But can you imagine the outcry if some liberal judge had forwarded an offensive Mormon or homeschooling joke about say, Romney or Santorum’s wife or mother?

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Conservative blogger, Andrew Breitbart, who first posted the sexting pictures of Anthony Weiner and helped bring down ACORN, died at 43. According to his attorney it was “natural causes”. Maybe watching the current crop of GOP presidential candidates killed him..
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It’s March, time for my first baseball rant of the season: One of many problems with new wild card format. Say two teams both win 100 games – one is division champ, and one is wild card. Another team backs in with 85 wins. But they have a great pitcher (say, the Dodgers and Clayton Kershaw.) In a single game playoff, that team has a huge advantage.

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March Madness.

March 1, 2012

Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi, 24, is reportedly pregnant with her first child. This might even make Rick Santorum is rethink his position on birth control.

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Mitt Romney’s latest ad calls Rick Santorum a liberal. Uh, maybe it’s time to ask Mittens if HE inhaled?

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After all the millions Mitt Romney spent in Michigan, he ended up with the same number of delegates (15) as Rick Santorum. Poor Mitt. If this presidency thing doesn’t work out, with that kind of spending to results ratio, there may be a job waiting for him with the NY Yankees.

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Derrick Rose may be the NBA MVP but he cost 21,000+ fans a free Big Mac by missing two late free throws in a 99-95 victory last night. (McD’s gives the burgers to ticket holders when Chicago scores 100 points or more in a home win.) Rose apologized – he should have just said he was looking out for fans’ health.

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A Gainesville, GA paper reported that a student trying to send a text to say “Gunna be at West Hall this afternoon” had auto correct change the 1st word to “Gunman.” The recipient alerted authorities and both West Hall High and Middle school were temporarily locked down. Yet more proof that smart phones don’t necessarily make smart users.

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Khloe Kardashian said on the Tonight Show that one of the first things Kris Humphries said to her was “So, how much you getting paid to fake your marriage?” Guess the answer for Kris himself was, “Not enough.

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Apparently MLB will institute new playoff system with extra teams THIS season. What’s the rush? Guess they wanted to maximize chances of showing the Yankees and Red Sox in the post season.

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Stanford women closed out their basketball home season with a 76-52 win over Seattle. The Cardinal shot 100% (13-13) from the free-throw line. See, boys? It’s possible.

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Davy Jones of the Monkees just passed away at 66. Said Baby boomers “So young?” Said anyone under 30 “Who the heck was Davy Jones?”

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A tornado caused serious damage to hotels and theaters in Branson, Missouri today. Along with injuries and deaths in the area. So where are all the folks who ascribe any weather disaster in places like San Francisco and New Orleans to God’s punishment of sinners?

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Mitt Romney won Wyoming primary. 29 delegates. He got about 822 of 2,000 total votes. Not sure how much Romney spent, but Mitt could have afforded to buy them all a Cadillac.

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Interesting quote from “The Tonight Show with Jay Leno” Wednesday night: “Citizens United – “The worst decision of the United States Supreme Court. They should be ashamed and embarrassed of what they did.” Direct quote from that noted liberal John McCain.

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The Daytona 500 hours?

February 29, 2012

No, it just seemed that long.

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Though Mitt Romney did have time to get a car into the race to compete with Rick Santorum…?

(from Jim Pratt, via Tony L. Thanks.)

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The Dow closed above 13,000 Tuesday. The GOP immediately started talking louder about birth control.

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Rick Santorum Tuesday night talked in his speech about “the men & women who signed the Declaration of Independence.” Yeah, I can see why Santorum’s so down on education, he clearly hasn’t retained much of his.

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Mitt Romney won Michigan today, although he lost with GOP voters without a college degree, and lost by a wide margin amongst those making less than $100,000 a year. In short, Mitt got all the GOP primary voters with two Cadillacs.

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$4 million for a slim primary win in Michigan. And Mitt campaigns on the idea of cutting wasteful spending.

(Romney might have done better if he donated the money to the Detroit Tigers to buy another pitcher.)

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One thing people aren’t talking about. Yes, Mitt Romney is winning his home state with 41 % – a plurality. But 59% of the GOP in Michigan prefer anyone but the man who should have wrapped up this nomination a long time ago.

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Santorum talking about his mom who got graduate degree, worked as a professional and made more money than her husband while raising three kids. So, an uppity elitist who used birth control?

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Posting an intelligent quote for a change: “I do find it frustrating that an atmosphere of polarization and ‘my way or the highway’ ideologies has become pervasive in campaigns and in our governing institutions.” That would be Maine GOP senator Olympia Snowe, in announcing her retirement today.

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The Big 12 announced today that the price for Missouri’s and Texas A&M leaving the conference will be $12.41 million each. Once again, hard to imagine how these recruits get seduced into thinking it’s about money.

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Last year at the NFL combine, Cam Newton recorded a 35″ vertical leap. This year Andrew Luck achieved a 36’’ vertical. Wow. At least one white man can jump.

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Hank Haney, Tiger Woods’ former swing coach, says in his new book that the quest to break Jack Nicklaus’ record of 18 majors weighed heavily on Tiger. Really? I would think that what took a bigger toll in the end was Woods’ pursuit of 18 plus waitresses.

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Manager Brad Mills has decided that Brett Meyers will be the Astros new closer. Next up, trying to make sure Myers actually has games to close.

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The 12 contestants have been announced for “Dancing with the Stars.” And many of the names bring the usual reaction from most Americans – “Who?”
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Okay, this really isn’t funny, but, Darwin award of the year nominee: Police say a Havelock, North Carolina man is dead after he accidentally drank from a jar of gasoline and then smoked a cigarette. (He died in the UNC burn center.)

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The Heat is on.

February 24, 2012

So the Heat, feeling disrespected, decided to put on a show against Jeremy Lin and won 102-88. Miami fans are thinking, uh, can we light this fire under the team when it actually matters, like in the playoffs?

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Dolphin fans have started a “Manning to Miami” billboard campaign. Makes sense, at this point they’re desperate for a superstar who makes a habit of showing up when it counts in the fourth quarter.

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Speaking of heat: President Obama spoke Thursday at University of Miami, where it was 83-degrees. And he loved the weather, saying “I don’t know how you guys go to class. It’s too nice outside.” And Miami football players responded “class?”

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By a 2-1 vote, MLB’s arbitration panel overturned Ryan Braun’s 50 game suspension for PEDs. No reason was given. Two possibilities: Braun does play for Selig’s old team, the Milwaukee Brewers, and he’s not Barry Bonds.

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Braun apparently won his 2-1 case on a technicality. That while no one actually alleged tampering, his defense made much of the fact that the tester kept the sample at his home for a night before sending it in. So did Ryan hire some of O.J’s old defense team?

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I see a new FedEx commercial. “When someone’s pee in a cup positively has to be there overnight.”

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All this talk about what the Founding Fathers meant when they wrote the Constitution. Uh, does anyone want to address the fact that in the 18th century none of them could imagine a time when women could vote?

Another thought about our Founding Fathers: Thomas Jefferson spoke five languages – Latin, Greek, Spanish, Italian, French, and some Indian dialects. Forget what “rights” he intended. With that kind of background, these days the guy wouldn’t have made it through the Presidential primaries.

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Florida Senator Marco Rubio, who talks about his Catholic roots, also attends a Southern Baptist megachurch, and apparently was a Mormon as a child. Will his next theme song on the campaign trail be “Losing my Religion?”

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Roy Oswalt, a free agent, is now telling major league clubs he may not sign and return to play until midseason. Gosh, how will he feed his family?

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Pittsburgh Pirates president Frank Coonelly was charged with four counts after a DUI arrest Dec. 22: Drunken driving, careless driving, driving with a blood-alcohol content of at least twice the .08 limit, and driving the wrong way. The last count may refer not to his driving, but what he’s doing to the franchise.

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In a new poll just released, California was the least popular state in the United States. In related news, it’s 70 degrees in Northern California Thursday, over 80 in parts of Southern California, while Chicago and Denver have major airport delays due to snow…..

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As we head into March, President Obama is honing his re-election strategy. In an ideal world he’d just get the GOP candidates to have weekly debates.

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Bi-partisan serious statemnt: For any United frequent fliers who weren’t having enough stress in their lives, the airline has just sent out a message saying everyone’s Mileage Plus numbers will disappear on March 3, and be replaced by their Continental number. (I wish this were a joke, stand by for United jokes…)

One of my friends has already told me “I just received my UA email. Sent me to a link to retrieve my new number – a link that I CAN’T LOG IN TO using my current UA number…”

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Doctors in Wisconsin say a cat saved his new owner’s life by trying to wake her up during a diabetic seizure, and then running into her son’s room and waking him up to call for help. The cat, Pudding, is being called a hero. He just hopes this doesn’t wreck his feline reputation.
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Ho, ho, ho?

February 23, 2012

Rick Santorum is trying to explain his 2008 statement that ““Satan has his sights on the United States of America!” Stay tuned, maybe he’ll say he’s dyslexic and was talking about Santa.

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Albert Pujols is objecting to billboards as part of the Angels marketing campaign that refer to him “El Hombre,” Pujols has asked not to be called that in deference to Stan “The Man” Musial. But he might not need to worry. Hispanic fans may not remember Musial, and non-Hispanic fans may not know what “El Hombre” means.

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A Texas man collected 10 cent comic books starting as a 9 year old in the 1930s. Today his family sold 227 books from the collection he had saved in his basement for about $3.5 million. And millions of other Americans forwarded this story to their mothers saying “See!”

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Virginia Gov. Bob McDonnell has changed his mind about a new bill that would require women to have a physically invasive transvaginal ultrasound procedure before any abortion. Wonder if he saw the “Daily Show?” (Or remembered that women do have the right to vote?)

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The Temple Owls are in talks to join the Big East. This is shocking. Unlike new schools SMU, Houston, Boise State and San Diego State, Temple, situated in Philadelphia, actually is in the East.

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Former Louisiana Gov. Charles “Buddy” Roemer is dropping out of the GOP presidential primary. The number one response across the U.S. – Buddy who?

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For anyone who was thinking the level of debate in the GOP primaries was getting too elevated, we’ll always have Sarah Palin. Today she defended Rick Santorum by saying the “lame-stream media characters” are getting “all wee-weed up about” his past remarks.

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As the three top GOP candidates increasingly try to prove they’re the furthest to the right, anyone else get the idea we’re watching a new game show – “Who wants to be a Neanderthal?”

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Rick Santorum at end of debate trumpets the fact he is from a “key swing state.” (Pennsylvania) What he doesn’t mention: He lost his last election in that state by 18 percent.

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Newt Gingrich attacking Obama. “As long as you’re America’s enemy you’re safe.”. Guess someone forgot to tell Bin Laden and Qaddafi.

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Mitt Romney says he loves Michigan because “the trees are just the right height.” Shame that someone didn’t ask him during the debate Wednesday night – “In which states are the trees the wrong height?”

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Question for GOP candidates. Agree that there are some bad leaders around the world who are killing innocent people including their own citizens. How come we only want to invade the ones with oil?

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Not voting for Ron Paul, but he does win the “breath of fresh air” award. Wednesday night, CNN debate moderator John King asked him why he’s running anti Santorum adds that say he’s a fake.

Paul’s response: “Because he’s a fake.”

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To theology and beyond?

February 22, 2012

Mitt Romney’s latest speech Tuesday night said that the Obama adminstration has “fought against religion.” Rick Santorum’s talking about phony ideology, and Newt Gingrich is zealously defending his new Catholicism. Are we electing a President or a Pope?

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Rick Santorum is talking about President Obama’s “phony theology not based on the Bible.” Leaving aside Thomas Jefferson’s words about a “wall of separation between Church and State”, what’s Santorum’s nostalgic ideal of a Bible based theology… Salem?

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Randy Pullen, a top Mitt Romney supporter and former Arizona GOP chair, is urging Romney to change course to win over conservatives. Really? If Mitt changes course any faster and more often he may qualify for the U.S. Olympic slalom team.

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Say what? While campaigning today GOP presidential candidate Mitt Romney said “labor unions play an important role in our society.” In Michigan. Can’t imagine how Mitt ever got reputation for pandering.

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600 children were sent back to class after star football recruit Davonte Neal was a no-show at an assembly at his former elementary school, where he was expected to announce his college choice. Neal announced hours later for Notre Dame. Presumably for the school’s strong values and sense of personal responsibility?

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Portland center Greg Oden just had his THIRD microfracture knee surgery. Only good news for the Trail Blazers, this one might be covered by medicare.

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Brady Quinn is denying his anti-Tebow comments quoted in GQ magazine – things like “We’ve had a lot of, I guess, luck,” and that when he gets an opportunity “he’ll continue to lead not by trying to get in front of the camera and praying but by praying with my teammates.” Can’t imagine how Notre Dame grads get the reputation for being poor sports who think the world revolves around them.

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Paul Babeu, the conservative anti-immigration Arizona sheriff who’s come out as a gay man amidst a scandal with an ex-lover, is now publicly backing “marriage equality.” Good for him. But wonder how long it would have taken had Babeu still been in the closet and co-chair of Mitt Romney’s Arizona campaign.

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Franklin Graham, son of Billy, questioned whether President Obama was a Christian again this morning, but said of Gingrich, he “been married several times… but he could make a good candidate. I think Newt is a Christian. At least he told me he is.” Uh, yeah, Franklin, and Newt has also told three women “until death do us part.”

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President Obama was thinking of wishing people happy Mardi Gras Tuesday. But no doubt one of his GOP opponents would accuse him of promoting a foreign agenda.

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Actually, forget Thanksgiving, the way we are growing, Fat Tuesday really is the ultimate American holiday.

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Police had to use pepper spray on a belligerent man at Disneyland this past weekend. Wow. Previously in the parks pepper spray has only been used as a threat by people whose relatives wanted to go on “It’s a Small World” just ONE more time.

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From Moneyball to Mannyball.

February 21, 2012

Yes, it’s true, Manny Ramirez has signed a minor league with the As?!! Stay tuned for “Mannyball.” Wonder if this will be a comedy or a tragedy? Or both?

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With Manny Ramirez back in baseball with the A’s, are some sports fans going from Linsanity to Manny-ic Depression?

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Fox pundit Liz Trotta has followed her incendiary comments about rape in the military with this – “Women are not as strong as men. Their instincts and reactions in crisis are markedly different.” Clearly this is a woman who has never been to a Black Friday sale.

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Albert Pujols arrived at spring training today. His new teammates were thrilled to see him in an Angels uniform. Almost as happy as National League pitchers.

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Anthony Federico, the former ESPN writer fired for his “Chink in the Armor” Jeremy Lin headline, told the NY Daily News that it was a mistake, “This had nothing to do with me being cute or punny.” If that’s true, forget racist, he (and his editor) might be too stupid to work at ESPN.

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With all the controversy about Jeremy Lin and anti-Asian jokes, I shudder to think what would happen if some Jewish kid became an NBA star. Fortunately that’s not likely to happen.

On the other hand, Cal’s Jorge Gutierrez, from Mexico, is a possible NBA draft pick. If that happens, or, if he has a great March tournament…Gentlemen, start your sensitivity training. (And run all headlines through an awake editor.)

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Indiana House member Bob Morris is opposing a resolution celebrating the 100th anniversary of the Girl Scouts because he believes it is a “radicalized organization.” He said he found allegations on the internet that they are tactical arm of Planned Parenthood, allow transgender females to join and encourage sex. Even Rick Santorum is thinking, this guy is nuts.

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A new Canadian study found that facial plastic surgery made people look an average of seven years younger. If true, this would mean Joan Rivers looked about ten years old.

(or as my friend Kelly says, actually, it just means that Joan is really about a million years old.)

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Mitt Romney’s Super PAC spent $14 million just in January 2012. Yeah, this ought to sharpen Mitt’s credentials as a self-proclaimed “budget hawk…..”

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GOP candidates have jumped on gas prices as a way to attack President Obama. If they really wanted t do something about those prices though, heck, with the money their Super PACs are spending they could probably subsidize prices $1 a gallon for the whole country.

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The cast of “Glee” will not be touring this summer. This news was very upsetting to millions of kids, teenagers and women. And about two men.
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Scoring change.

February 19, 2012

Apparently Maine may recount their caucuses, and Mitt Romney could end up losing the state to Ron Paul. This after he lost Iowa in a recount to Rick Santorum. Looks like Mitt’s victories may win up beng as long lasting as his positions.

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A new California Family Health Council program will allow teens in some counties to receive free condoms by mail. Said many teenagers “What’s mail?”

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United Airlines is adopting Continental’s pet transport program known as “PetSafe,” which means that animals who are too big to fit in the cabin have to fly as cargo, not checked luggage. For many destinations this will significantly increase the cost. On the other hand, the pets will still be more comfortable than their owners in coach.

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Paul Babeu is an AZ sheriff who became famous for opposing illegal immigration, and is now running for congress. He has been accused of threatening a male ex-lover with deportation if he made their relationship public. After texts were released, Babeu admited he is gay but denies making serious threats. When will they learn, love may fade, but cellphone records are forever?

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Nancy Grace refuses to apologize for saying “who let [Whitney Houston] slip, or pushed her, underneath that water?” Prompting many to suggest that maybe what Grace herself needs is a few drinks and a long bath.

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ESPN has apologized for using the headline “Chink in the Armor” referring to Jeremy Lin’s nine turnover’s last night in the Knicks loss to the Hornets. In related news, U.S. unemployment figures are about to increase by one.

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On the other hand, for fans of politically incorrect humor, my comedy pal T.C Chong from British Columbia, who has the birthright to make Asian jokes, has a few variations on Lin puns.

For starters. “Chinese Delivery Ends”, and “Lin is just taking all this with a grain of rice. He says the people at ESPN can’t “Wok and Chu Gum” at the same time.” (Others in comments on yesterday’s post.)

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The conservatives screaming about free birth control are often the same people screaming about those who pay no federal taxes. And who want to cut welfare, govt. subsidized child care, health care, etc. Really guys, if you want to reduce the number of poor people and kids, birth control should be a sacrament.

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The King’s speech.

February 18, 2012

Lebron James said he could see himself back in Cleveland some day. And some fans in Miami are upset. Seems like James’ idea of a long-term committed relationship might be the same as Newt Gingrich’s.

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Lebron is trying to quell controversy in Miami over his remarks about possibly returning to the Cavaliers at some point, and says Heat fans “shouldn’t be worried.” Maybe King James should use the controversy control technique of keeping an aspirin between his lips.

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Tim Wakefield, 45, says he is retiring. Responded Jamie Moyer – “So young?”

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From T.C. “Massachusetts will honor Wakefield by reducing highway speed limits to 48 mph that day in tribute to his fastball speed.”

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Lin-sanity temporarily derailed Friday night by the…. New Orleans Hornets? Well, it is the weekend before Mardi Gras. Never underestimate the power of Voodoo.

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Meanwhile the Detroit Red Wings got their 22nd consecutive home win tonight. The reaction in most of America -. “That’s great, what sport do they play?”

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One amusing sidelight in this Jeremy Lin story: How often do we get to hear about a Harvard graduate overcoming adversity?

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The Cincinnati Bengals have hired former Oakland Raiders coach Hue Jackson as an assistant coach. Well, Hue better to have experience with dysfunctional football teams?

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Apparently one of the people involved in lobbying Maryland state lawmakers for marriage equality is Dick Cheney. No doubt someone in the GOP will be soon be dismissing the former V.P. as a flaming liberal like his old pal Clint Eastwood.

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Mitt Romney joked at a Michigan rally this week: “Any old girlfriends here? I better be careful.” Really? Girlfriends? Mitt, America is having a hard enough time believing you actually produced five sons with your WIFE.

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Another thought about this birth control controversy. If religious institutions can deny coverage for sometihng they believe is immoral, why not deny coverage for STD’s for both sexes, especially unmarried men as well as women, since they shouldn’t be doing anything to get such a disease?

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