Posted tagged ‘Ann Romney jokes’

Just one of us.

May 3, 2012

Ann Romney wore a $1,000 blouse on television Thursday. Although the designer said it was an off-the-rack item and not one that was especially made for her. So can’t imagine how Ann is getting an increasingly out-of-touch reputation.

Congrats to Jared Weaver of the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim on his no-hitter tonight. And he didn’t even get to pitch against Albert Pujols.-

Magic Johnson says the Los Angeles Dodgers will reduce the price for general game parking from $15 to $10. Makes sense. $15 seemed a little steep for the 90 minutes or so between the third and seventh innings.

Spirit Airlines has long charged for carry-on bags that don’t fit under the seat. Now in November travelers who don’t pay that fee until they get to the gate to $100 PER bag. Well, the new policy may cut down on boarding time. If it doesn’t result in arrests for assaulting airline employees.-

 

Zito vs. Zambrano Tuesday night at A T & T Park.   Darn shame they couldn’t have  had the national anthem done by Z.Z.Top.

 

Newt Gingrich finally dropped out of the Presidential race. What is it about this man never knowing when to quit – unless a marriage is involved?

 

 

Rick Perry said today that God forgives people for their “oops” moments. Makes sense, Perry might be one of God’s “oops” moments

 

Amar’e Stoudemire said it “wasn’t like I had a closed fist and just punched through the glass. I just walked by, wanted to make some noise, swung my arm, hit the fire extinguisher door….” So his defense is that he was dumber than he was angry?

Oil Can Boyd says he used cocaine every day when he pitched for the Red Sox in 1986, a year he won 16 games in 1986 with a 3.78 ERA. Talk about things going better with Coke.

 

The story last week on new Romney advisor Richard Grenell was that he had scrubbed hundreds of anti-women tweets. Today Grenell resigned, apparently over conservative ire that he was openly gay. So the message is clear: You can attack women all you want, as long as you sleep with them..

 

On a serious note, while no one knows for sure what led to Junior Seau’s reported suicide, it does seem as if playing NFL football is increasingly bad for your physical and mental health. 

If the league is serious about protecting players, two suggestions: 1. Steroid suspensions have to be at least for a season. 2. Illegal hits that injure an opposing player should result in a suspension for the length of the injury, or the season. Otherwise the bounty punishments are just window dressing. IMHO. 

And R.I.P. Junior.

 

Kerplunk it sunk, what a lousy piece of junk…

April 13, 2012

(If you’re too young to remember the children’s song reference, you are lucky.)

Wonder if North Korea is claiming their test rocket was testing to see if it was waterproof.

North Korea claimed their failed rocket would only carry a civilian satellite, and that it was a major technological achievement to mark the 100th anniversary of the birth of Kim Il Sung, on Sunday. Uh, did anyone tell them Sunday is also the 100th anniversary of the sinking of the Titanic?

Burger King apparently is introducing a Bacon Sundae. For all those who thought their menu was a little too health conscious.

As we head into the mano a mano portion of the Presidential election here’s a (never going to happen) recipe for civility: No matter who pays for the anti-Obama or anti-Romney ads, simply require at the end of any such commercial to have the candidates say “I am Barack Obama/Mitt Romney and I approve this message.”

WTF? By now anyone reading this has heard the American Idol results show from Thursday. But were the votes counted in Florida?

Former Arkansas football coach Bobby Petrino sent apologies to AD Jeff Long and a number of other university employees via text messages. Which from the stories about his “inappropriate” relationship, may not have been necessary if he hadn’t been texting in the first place.

A CNN pundit is facing criticism for saying that Ann Romney shouldn’t be talking about the economy because “she has actually never worked a day in her life.” Ann immediately (and correctly) responded that staying home to raise 5 boys was hard work. Well, and think of all the nannies etc she has hired.

Democrats including the President immediately condemned Hilary Rosen for her comments about Ann Romney. Almost as fast as the GOP Presidential candidates condemned Rush Limbaugh for his “slut” etc comments. Oh wait, that’s right, they didn’t. Never mind….

Actually, I absolutely support Ann Romney’s right to stay home and raise kids. But if Ann really cares that much about women and the economy, wonder why she isn’t urging Mitt to push things like education and child care and social programs to aid mothers who aren’t as economically fortunate as she is….

Meanwhile,CNN’s Hilary Rosen is now saying “I apologize to Ann Romney and anyone else who was offended. Let’s declare peace in this phony war and go back to focus on the substance.” Really? Someone actually thinks this campaign has been focusing on substance?

Mass. Sen. Scott Brown has a new radio ad talking about his love of Fenway Park. Except that when Brown was a state representative, he was in support of replacing the 100 year old park and moving it to Foxboro. What is it with Massachusetts politicians? Should the state shoe be the flip flop?

Quote of the day: “We are more likely to get neutral coverage out of CNN than we are of Fox, and we’re more likely to get distortion out of Fox. That’s just a fact.” From that noted liberal Newt Gingrich.

Jamie Moyer, 49. 5 2/3 innings, 2 earned runs. No W. As a Giants fan will be glad for the win but a shame Moyer couldn’t have pitched yesterday. The ageless wonder better deserved a win than the stream of Rockies pitchers who took advantage of 18 runs of support.

That JetBlue pilot who went crazy a couple weeks ago has been indicted on charges of interfering with a flight crew. The response from most major airlines – a new “Pilot mental health surcharge.”

You’re a rich girl…..

March 6, 2012

Ann Romney said in a Fox News interview “I don’t even consider myself wealthy.” What’s her definition of wealthy? When you can no longer remember how many houses you have?

AOL has now become the 8th advertiser to drop Rush Limbaugh. They would have done it sooner, but their executives who download AOL to keep up on the news just found out about the scandal.

Some want Rush Limbaugh’s talk show off the the air. Not sure. At this point he’s doing a great job fundraising for the Democratic party

A new channel, “Dog TV” is expanding in the U.S. For $4.99 a month (and who knows how much electricity) dog owners are supposed to leave the TV on while they are out, so that their pets don’t suffer from anxiety issues, boredom and depression. And we wonder why other countries hate us.

Pat Robertson’s theory on why all those devastating tornadoes hit the Midwest last week – not enough prayer: “”If enough people were praying [God] would’ve intervened. Wonder how many people it would take praying to have God get rid of Pat Robertson?

You can’t make this “stuff” up – United-Continental merger division: “If you have forgotten your PIN, you will need to change it to proceed. Please complete the following information to change your MileagePlus PIN.” And you start by entering the CURRENT PIN. (Yes, the one you’ve forgotten.)

Last week, former Cal QB Joe Ayoob broke a Guinness World Record by throwing a paper airplane 226 feet, 10 inches. Brett Favre tried to top him, but the airplane was intercepted and run back for a touchdown.

A new Lifetime reality show titled “Bristol Palin: Life’s a Tripp,” will “offer an insight into the life of the 21-year-old mother as she raises her 3-yr old son,”, and “also focus on her relationship with her parents, Sarah and Todd Palin, and her siblings.” In related news, Sarah Palin blasted the media for not leaving her family alone.

Syracuse University said they allowed 10 players who violated their drug policy to continue playing basketball. Gosh. What’s next? Admitting the players didn’t always live up to academic standards either?

No telling for sure now how many of the failed tests involved marijuana, though rumors are that it was most of them. Guess maybe the Orangemen’s defense was that they wanted to get their players NBA ready.

Ndamukong Suh. commenting on the bounty situation: “Me personally, I don’t take part in those things and knowing my teammates and knowing my coaches, we wouldn’t allow that.” Possible translation? “I like to stomp people for free.”

No doubt the Saints will pay for being caught in a bounty scandal. But teams are trying to knock their opponents’ stars out of games? In related news from Casablanca, Captain Renault is still “shocked, shocked to find that gambling is going on in here.”

Another quote from from a wacky liberal on the GOP primary: “It’s been I think, the worst campaign I’ve ever seen in my life. I hate it. I hate the fact that people think ‘compromise’ is a dirty word.” The speaker, former first lady Barbara Bush.

It’s not going to happen but….you go girl! Stacey Newman, a Missouri House member who’s frustrated with all the recent debates over birth control and abortions, has proposed legislation to allow vasectomies only when necessary to protect a man from serious injury or death..

(my friend Candace Cambra adds that Virginia State Senator Janet Howell, introduced an amendment to a mandatory ultrasound bill that would require men to have a rectal exam before being prescribed Viagra.)

Former NFL wide receiver Randy Moss will tryout for New Orleans on Tuesday. Guess they figure having him in a Saints uniform can’t be any more embarrassing than “Bounty-gate.”