Posted tagged ‘Jeremy Lin jokes’

Pass the brownies?

March 21, 2016

By a 6-2 vote, the Supreme Court today rejected a conservative challenge to Colorado’s marijuana legalization laws. Well, guess they don’t call it the High Court for nothing.

 

Go figure, the ‪#‎Spurs‬ can stop ‪#‎StephenCurry‬ and they can’t stop ‪#‎JeremyLin‬? ‪#‎Hornets‬

Dwight Howard, who has been warned along with the Rockets team about being caught with a sticky substance on his hand, said “I think that it’s getting overblown, like I’m doing something crazy. But again, I’ve never been a cheater.”
A cheater no, a baby, yes.

#‎Patriots‬ owner Robert Kraft apparently wrote NFL commissioner Roger Goodell asking for the #1 draft pick back that the team lost in the ‪#‎Deflategate‬ scandal. Meanwhile the ‪#‎Saints‬ wrote Goodell, they want 2012 back.

The SF 49ers and Santa Clara are haggling over 2016 rent, which was supposed to be $24.5 million; the team wants to pay $20 million. Well, of course, and aren’t most landlords in the SF Bay Area lowering rents in this economy?

(my friend Rich De Give asks “Doesn’t the lease state the 49ers are supposed to field a professional football team?”)

A new Park Slope, Brooklyn, $1-3 million condo development is going to offer a stroller valet service to residents. And we wonder why some of the rest of the world hates us?

Heard a radio ad for Whole Foods today, “America’s Healthiest Grocery Store.” Well if for no other reason than you can’t afford to buy enough food to make you fat.

A Texas man who was arrested for having sex on a Las Vegas Ferris wheel with a woman he just met has been fatally shot in a carjacking in Houston. Now, the guy had gone to Vegas to get married, but told police he had fought with his fiance, who was pregnant with another man’s child. They had reconciled, and she was with him when he was killed.
You REALLY cannot make this stuff up. ‪#‎madefortvmovie‬?

Sad news from Toronto that ex-mayor Rob Ford is now in palliative care. Hard to believe that there was a time not that long ago that Ford held the title “most outrageous politician in North America.”

Ted Cruz, saying that it’s a “sad day” with the President visiting Cuba. “Until Obama, siding with the oppressed had always been America’s aspiration.”
Right, as billions of people in Latin America, Africa, Asia and the Mideast can attest. ‪#‎SMH‬ ‪#‎cantfixstupid‬

Donald Trump, trying to be a kindler, gentler, candidate “I like John, he’s a nice guy, I like Ted, he’s a nice guy.” Ted Cruz a nice guy? That’s it. Now we KNOW the Donald is insane.

Elizabeth Warren is engaged in a Twitter war with Donald Trump. One of today’s latest salvos from Warren “@RealDonaldTrump knows he’s a loser. His insecurities are on parade: petty bullying, attacks on women, cheap racism, flagrant narcissism.”
Pass the popcorn, this could be fun.

John Kasich “There is a below-zero chance that I would serve as V.P. to one of the other candidates.” So he is saying there’s a chance?

Bernie Sanders’ latest fundraising email of the morning. “Tomorrow night is YUGE.” Wait, I thought the GOP was the party with the spelling problem.

 

 

Watching ‪#‎DWTS‬ for the first time ever because of ‪#‎DougFlutie‬. Well, it makes me less ashamed to be American than watching some of those ‪#‎GOP‬ debates.

#‎DougFlutie‬ and ‪#‎MarlaMaples‬ on ‪#‎DTWS‬: Talk about from the sublime to the ridiculous.

 

Marla Maples appearing in ‪#‎DWTS‬ – Dancing With The Stars. As opposed to her ex-, who regularly appears in ‪#‎DTWT‬ – Dancing With The Truth

Statue of limitations?

July 15, 2012

Penn State at this point says they will not take down the Joe Paterno statue.  Makes a certain amount of sense. The statue isn’t any guiltier than Joe-Pa was of doing nothing to stop Jerry Sandusky.

So now Jeremy Lin, who Knicks coach Mike Woodsen said last week would be New York’s starting point guard, may end up in Houston. Or maybe the Knicks are just playing hard to get. Anyone else find all this drama more interesting than the NBA regular season?

 

The SF Giants may not have bounties but they are breaking more opposing players than the New Orleans Saints.  (Saturday night,  the Houston Astros’ Jed Lowrie with an ankle strain.)

Nice job for Tim Lincecum tonight (even if a freak play-wild pitch on a strikeout plus an error – allowed tying run to score from second cost him a win).   Who needs a Triple A “rehab” start when you can play the Houston Astros.

Fed up with an unusually rainy several months, the London Times declared in a recent editorial: “Let us make our position crystal clear: We are against this weather.” Hey, if it works maybe we should try this in the US.

The New York Yankees have the best record in baseball, and the most home runs. But they no doubt will grab a couple more stars at the trade deadline. The team stockpiles players like some women buy shoes.

Mitt Romney is saying that Obama ads about his time at Bain “beneath the dignity of the president and his campaign.” Guess he thinks such ads should be left to “nonprofit” Super PACS?

Penn State has announced plans to renovate their football locker room shower room after the Sandusky scandal. Dynamite would be a good start.

Ah technology. If you waitlist an upgrade on United Airlines these days, and change the flight, the waitlist automatically stays in for the ORIGINAL flight. So you can be confirmed in first or business flight on a plane you are no longer taking. What could possibly go wrong….

(for starters, the computer can cancel your new flight and put you back on the flight you changed from, even if you paid the penalty to reissue the ticket….)

And the horse he rode in on….

February 20, 2012

Rick Santorum, who has said he wants the Federal and State governments out of the education business, stated “For the first 150 years, most presidents home-schooled their children at the White House.” Right, and for the first 150 years, presidents rode to work on a horse.

So former President Clinton was in attendance at the Magic-Heat NBA game today. Guess even Bill couldn’t get tickets to see Jeremy Lin and the Knicks.

More shocking than the fact that the New York Knicks have an Asian point guard -they’re actually playing basketball that includes passing the ball.

One of Jeremy Lin’s biggest fans has to be Yankees GM Brian Cashman. Since “Linsanity” has knocked Cashman’s personal life train wreck (ex-mistress talking after being jailed for stalking him and his family, wife filing for divorce) right off the front page.

Not that I would mind seeing Rick Santorum as the GOP Presidential nominee. But did all these Republicans suddenly on his bandwagon forget that in his re-election campaign for Senate, in a relatively conservative state, Santorum lost by 18%?

Now that pitchers and catchers have reported to spring training, it’s time to step back a bit from “Linsanity” and ask a question -. So which major league baseball teams have sent scouts to follow Harvard baseball?

Newt Gingrich said of any late potential entrants into GOP Presidential field “Nobody’s going to show up and become Superman or Superwoman.” Heck, at this point many Republicans would settle for a good Clark Kent.

NBC has confirmed that Lindsay Lohan is going to host SNL March 3. And it’s probably only a coincidence that the network has reportedly sent out a memo to cast members recommending they hide their jewelry.

Controversy in California as a new program allows teenagers in some counties to request free condoms by mail. Actually the program is available to kids as young as 12.

Now, while I’m not personally a fan of 12 year olds having sex, it’s also really hard to imagine those kids, or even 13,14,15,16,17… year olds saying “Okay, I was thinking of waiting until marriage but, hey, free condoms, let’s do it.”

Commentators seem surprised by how much Jeremy Lin has adapted and improved in two weeks in the NBA. Well, Palo Alto High and Harvard may not be known for their star athletes, but they do emphasize the ability to learn.


Following on that thought, a serious comment for a change: Some wonder the difference between Jeremy Lin and Tim Tebow, as both are devout Christian over-achievers. And why Lin, so far, is far less polarizing. Well, for starters, Tebow was home-schooled. Lin went through public schools. Which, while that may not make an intolerant person tolerant, and vice versa, does mean a slightly broader experience.

Scoring change.

February 19, 2012

Apparently Maine may recount their caucuses, and Mitt Romney could end up losing the state to Ron Paul. This after he lost Iowa in a recount to Rick Santorum. Looks like Mitt’s victories may win up beng as long lasting as his positions.

A new California Family Health Council program will allow teens in some counties to receive free condoms by mail. Said many teenagers “What’s mail?”

United Airlines is adopting Continental’s pet transport program known as “PetSafe,” which means that animals who are too big to fit in the cabin have to fly as cargo, not checked luggage. For many destinations this will significantly increase the cost. On the other hand, the pets will still be more comfortable than their owners in coach.

Paul Babeu is an AZ sheriff who became famous for opposing illegal immigration, and is now running for congress. He has been accused of threatening a male ex-lover with deportation if he made their relationship public. After texts were released, Babeu admited he is gay but denies making serious threats. When will they learn, love may fade, but cellphone records are forever?

Nancy Grace refuses to apologize for saying “who let [Whitney Houston] slip, or pushed her, underneath that water?” Prompting many to suggest that maybe what Grace herself needs is a few drinks and a long bath.

ESPN has apologized for using the headline “Chink in the Armor” referring to Jeremy Lin’s nine turnover’s last night in the Knicks loss to the Hornets. In related news, U.S. unemployment figures are about to increase by one.

On the other hand, for fans of politically incorrect humor, my comedy pal T.C Chong from British Columbia, who has the birthright to make Asian jokes, has a few variations on Lin puns.

For starters. “Chinese Delivery Ends”, and “Lin is just taking all this with a grain of rice. He says the people at ESPN can’t “Wok and Chu Gum” at the same time.” (Others in comments on yesterday’s post.)

The conservatives screaming about free birth control are often the same people screaming about those who pay no federal taxes. And who want to cut welfare, govt. subsidized child care, health care, etc. Really guys, if you want to reduce the number of poor people and kids, birth control should be a sacrament.

The King’s speech.

February 18, 2012

Lebron James said he could see himself back in Cleveland some day. And some fans in Miami are upset. Seems like James’ idea of a long-term committed relationship might be the same as Newt Gingrich’s.

Lebron is trying to quell controversy in Miami over his remarks about possibly returning to the Cavaliers at some point, and says Heat fans “shouldn’t be worried.” Maybe King James should use the controversy control technique of keeping an aspirin between his lips.

Tim Wakefield, 45, says he is retiring. Responded Jamie Moyer – “So young?”

From T.C. “Massachusetts will honor Wakefield by reducing highway speed limits to 48 mph that day in tribute to his fastball speed.”

Lin-sanity temporarily derailed Friday night by the…. New Orleans Hornets? Well, it is the weekend before Mardi Gras. Never underestimate the power of Voodoo.

Meanwhile the Detroit Red Wings got their 22nd consecutive home win tonight. The reaction in most of America -. “That’s great, what sport do they play?”

One amusing sidelight in this Jeremy Lin story: How often do we get to hear about a Harvard graduate overcoming adversity?

The Cincinnati Bengals have hired former Oakland Raiders coach Hue Jackson as an assistant coach. Well, Hue better to have experience with dysfunctional football teams?

Apparently one of the people involved in lobbying Maryland state lawmakers for marriage equality is Dick Cheney. No doubt someone in the GOP will be soon be dismissing the former V.P. as a flaming liberal like his old pal Clint Eastwood.

Mitt Romney joked at a Michigan rally this week: “Any old girlfriends here? I better be careful.” Really? Girlfriends? Mitt, America is having a hard enough time believing you actually produced five sons with your WIFE.

Another thought about this birth control controversy. If religious institutions can deny coverage for sometihng they believe is immoral, why not deny coverage for STD’s for both sexes, especially unmarried men as well as women, since they shouldn’t be doing anything to get such a disease?

Catching a rising star?

February 16, 2012

The Golden State Warriors are playing better of late, but they don’t have any real stars, and can’t seem to attract the kind of player who gets national attention and becomes a media sensation.. Gosh, wonder where they could possibly find a player like that?. Oops, never mind….

How big a sensation is Jeremy Lin in New York? Out of habit the Yankees offered him a free agent contract.

So Tim Tebow is #15, Jeremy Lin is #17. Wonder how many teams are scouting minor league baseball for a young Christian player wearing #19?

Mars Inc, the candy maker of Snickers, Twix, and Three Musketeers, for examples, has announced they will stop selling chocolate products with more than 250 calories in them by the end of 2013.

You know what that means, same price, less candy.

Old newspaper clippings show that Rick Santorum, in his first run for Congress in 1990, referred to himself as a “progressive conservative,” and said he tried to “dance around,” the issue of abortion. Who does Rick think he is? Mitt Romney?

Las Vegas’ newest museum opened this week. The National Museum of Organized Crime & Law Enforcement, aka the Mob Museum. Wonder if their ticket policy will be “Free admission, but you’ll really pay to get out.”

(my friend Michael M. says “he hears it’s a real hit.” Rich says, “make them an offer they can’t refuse.”)

President Obama’s approval rating is back up to 50%. Which means Americans are feeling better about the country. Either that or they have been watching the GOP primaries and going “Are you effing kidding me?”.

Kim Kardashian said in an interview with Allure magazine that her next wedding won’t include any cameras. Hmm. I think I like “until death do us part” better.

Rick Santorum talks about tort reform, and capping medical malpractice awards at $250,000. His wife, however, sued her chiropractor for $500,000 in 1999 because she alleged he incorrectly performed a spinal adjustment. Yeah, guess this means Santorum’s passed the political hypocrisy test.

The Santa Clara city council approved the new 49ers stadium last night, which means the 49ers are officially moving state. Many San Franciscans are upset about losing “their” team. But unlike the Giants and Jets, at least the 49ers will still be playing in the same state.

Four football players were amongst 17 TCU students arrested on drug charges. Well, looks like the Horned Frogs have finally joined the ranks of the big-time college football programs.

Rocket scientist award of the week: A Northern California man missed his flight after TSA at Oakland found marijuana in a peanut butter jar in his carry-on bag. The stupidity isn’t so much the marijuana. They might have missed that. But a jar is more than 3 ounces, and peanut butter IS classified as a liquid.

One nice unintended consequence of the Jeremy Lin story – It has finally knocked the Peyton Manning-Colts story off the front page.

A customer at Las Vegas’s Heart Attack Grill was eating a Triple Bypass Burger” (1 1/2 lbs of beef and 12 bacon slices)) last weekend when he actually had a heart attack. The man is recovering. But what’s more disgusting, the idea of a 24 oz burger with that much bacon, or the idea there are probably lawyers ready to help him sue?

“Any Lin-gering Doubts?”

February 15, 2012

Lin-sanity continues. Tuesday night’s comeback finishes with 3 pointer with .09 to go. Even Tim Tebow is saying “Are you f***ing kidding me?

Despite the hype, Jeremy Lin isn’t perfect. As his former Palo Alto High coach Peter Diepenbrook will attest. For example, his mom once said (really) “Jeremy has an A-minus in math. I don’t think he’s going to be able to play this week.”

Despite the recent birth control controversy, President Obama’s approval ratings with Catholics are basically unchanged over the past couple weeks. Makes sense, most U.S. Catholics learned to ignore bishops somewhere around Vatican II.

Nine games today in the NBA Tuesday night. Which spared a lot of lucky players a major dilemma – which mother of which child would they have dinner with on Valentine’s Day?

Many conservatives are pushing Newt Gingrich to quit running for President, but Newt has vowed to stay in the race. These folks are using the wrong logic. Just tell him being a candidate is a commitment, like a marriage.

Sports commentators saying PGA tour doesn’t have anyone who’s a Tiger Woods anymore. Heck, even Tiger isn’t Tiger Woods anymore.

The Baltimore Orioles have announced they are no longer interested in pursuing Manny Ramirez. Guess they don’t want to star in this season’s version of “Foolish teams, even more foolish choices.”

Rick Santorum saying that birth control “only costs a few dollars.” Really? Figure a man with seven children would know as much about the price of birth control as Mitt Romney would know about which airline has the best coach class seats.

Who says there are no bipartisan statements in politics. From President Obama on Tuesday: “Let me start with a quick public service announcement to all the gentlemen out there: Today is Valentine’s Day. Do not forget. I speak from experience here. It is important that you remember this. And go big. That’s my advice.”

Rick Perry said he might run again for President. This is enough even to get the Jewish Jon Stewart saying “Thank you Jesus.”

The lawyer for suspended Penn State AD Tim Curley wants charges dismissed against her client. Not because of exculpatory evidence. But necause Paterno is dead and cannot attest to the alleged perjury, and the law about reporting suspected child abuse wasn’t enacted until after the alleged abuse…. And some at PSU still don’t get why the school went with an outsider as the new football coach.

Open note to anyone with a cat in their household. If someone puts flowers in water in a tall vase, and then takes the flowers to give to someone, but leaves the water in the vase….. suffice it to say the chances of the cat thinking the water belongs to them is greater than you think. And it will not end well.

From T.C. “Tiger went on record last stating that long belly putters should be outlawed on the PGA tour.

After Sunday’s final round at the AT&T, he added “putting left handed” to that wish list.”

Highfaluting’ heifers?

February 14, 2012

A Texas high school cheerleader coach was fired after one of the cheerleaders recorded her yelling at the young women “Who do you think you all are? Highfalutin heifers. You just come and go as you please…” “Highfalutin’ heifers?” Heck, I give her points for creative alliteration.

Fox New’s Liz Trotta, on rapes in the military: “The report says that there has been, since 2006, a 64% increase in violent sexual assaults. Now, what did they expect? These people are in close contact.” Can’t wait to see what Trotta would say if asked about co-ed college dorms.


Today is Valentine’s Day. All over the NBA players are sending members of their posse out to buy a dozen cards – “To my one and only.”

Leave what he feels out of this, how stupid is it to say it? Floyd Mayweather just posted: “Jeremy Lin is a good player but all the hype is because he’s Asian. Black players do what he does every night and don’t get the same praise.” Just another piece of evidence that boxers should be required to wear helmets.

Carmelo Anthony is telling the media that when he returns he can co-exist with Jeremy Lin. These days Knicks fans are more worried whether or not Jeremy Lin can co-exist with him.

Lin-sanity continues. Have the offensively challenged SF Giants checked on the availability of undrafted former Harvard baseball power hitters.

Jeremy Lin jerseys are the #1 seller in the NBA right now. How cool is this? And nice for the people making the jerseys to see a name they actually might recognize.

(Bus to hell version of this joke: It’s good for all those Chinese factory workers to have a hero they can actually aspire to grow up to be.)

So all these folks wondering what Tiger Woods is missing lately…. Well, Phil Mickelson did give much of the credit to his wife.

David Ortiz and the Red Sox have agreed to a $14.575 million one year contract, up from the $12.6 million Boston had originally offered. Guess the Sox figured, it’s not just his family, Ortiz needs to feed himself.

Best line from “The Bachelor” tonight: “If only my boyfriend didn’t have five other girlfriends.” If this gal doesn’t win she’s set up for dating a professional athlete. Or becoming the fourth Mrs. Newt Gingrich.

Some wonder how Mitt Romney can keep it up as the front-runner when nobody seems to actually like him. Wonder how many Bachelor fans are privately referring to him as the Courtney of the Republican party?

A judge ruled the Jerry Sandusky trial will be in State College. WTF? They stand about as much chance of getting an unbiased jury in his home town as Newt Gingrich has of being picked as Mitt Romney’s running mate.

Not making this up, from the Rick Santorum website: Extended by Popular Demand….Donate $100 or more, and we will send you an official Rick Santorum For President sweater vest.” (Gray, 100% cotton, made in America.) “Extended by Popular Demand?” That translates to either a- we ordered too many, or b- even Santorum fans don’t want to look THAT dorky.

What’s in a name?

February 12, 2012

Chad Ochocinco is changing his name again. In other words, Ochocinco is Ocho-Seis’ed.

Then there’s Meta World Peace on Jeremy Lin: “We think he needs a better haircut. I don’t like that style. We’re in New York, the fashion capital. You’re a star now. Wear some shades. Shades, OK? Put down the nerdy Harvard book glasses. Put on some black shades, OK? With some leather pants. Change your style. Fashion…”

I’m all for freedom of speech and religion but hearing the Catholic bishops talk about their “”serious moral concerns” about President Obama’s birth control compromise makes me wonder where this outrage was when the pedophilia scandals first came to light.

Al Franken headlining for the Democrats at the California convention. His challenge, saying something funnier than most of the GOP presidential candidates do every day.

This Franken line wasn’t bad: “Watching people complain about Clint Eastwood’s ‘Halftime in America’ ad is like watching people rooting for the dealer in blackjack.”

Meanwhile, Governor Jerry Brown is in full “take no prisoners” mode. And he illustrates an interesting alternative to term limits – elect politicians who are old enough they don’t give a sh*t who they offend anymore.

Sad news about Whitney Houston, but hearing it at a convention surrounded by 1,000 people with smart phones made me feel like I was in one of those “that’s so thirty seconds ago” commercials.

Sarah Palin is now giving advice to Mitt Romney on how to defeat President Obama. And she is such an expert on that subject…

But really, Sarah Palin’s telling Mitt Romney how to beat President Obama? What’s next, John Kerry giving Mitt charisma lessons?

Mitt Romney says he is the “only candidate in this race, Republican or Democrat, who has never worked a day in Washington.” Uh, yeah, that’s because he lost his earlier races for the Senate and the Presidency.

Democrats will never be accused of not being P.C. enough. Speeches at convention are done with ASL AND closed captioning.

Rick Santorum is pontificating on birth control these days, and said yesterday that it “only costs a few dollars,” and “serves no economic need.” Uh, do we really expect a man to be an expert on birth control who has seven children?

Is this a great country or what?

February 11, 2012

What a great country. Our president is black and the most talked about player in the NBA is Asian.

The Jeremy Lin fan club now extends to everyone outside of the greater Los Angeles area (plus a lot of Clippers fans.)


Well, Kobe Bryant knows who Jeremy Lin is now.

Tim Tebow led the Broncos to some miraculous wins. Jeremy Lin, a devout Christian, is having an incredible week for the Knicks. In MLB, teams are thinking about sending their scouts into churches.

Note to these “Onemillionmoms” folks who are upset by Ellen Degeneres being chosen as a J.C Penney’s spokeswoman. because most of the store’s customers are traditional families. Right, so they would prefer Penney’s hire some heterosexual like Charlie Sheen, Britney Spears or Kim Kardashian?

Mitt Romney said at CPAC that he was a “severely conservative governor.” And this is a man who once derided John Kerry as a “severely conflicted person.

Wonder if I will ever get used to seeing ESPN.com feed saying things like “Meta World Peace” personal foul.

At California State Democratic convention in San Diego this weekend. Knowing that all speeches should be taken with a large grain of salt. Like this one from the 2002 Massachusetts REPUBLICAN convention: “I respect and will fully protect a woman’s right to choose. That right is a deeply personal one.” The speaker? Mitt Romney.

While we’re arguing over birth control how come there is a deafening silence from conservatives on the subject of insurers providing unmarried men with Viagra?

To use free T Mobile in United Airlines Club you must check that you have “read and accepted terms and conditions.”. Just scrolled through them. Over 30 pages.Admittedly didn’t “read.” Must be some kind of full employment act for lawyers.

Jerry Sandusky complained after a pre-trial hearing that due to his house arrest restrictions he can’t see friends or his grandchildren, or play outside with his dog. “That’s really a shame” said absolutely no one.

Former USC QB Mitch Mustain, 23, was going to join the Arena Football League, and he hasn’t pitched since high school. But he tried out with the Chicago White Sox and hit 90 mph on the radar gun. Some frustrated Jets fans hope this inspires Sanchez to try out with the Mets.

Rick Santorum says women in combat would be a bad idea because of the “emotions” that men would feel seeing them in harm’s way, so they wouldn’t be concerned about accomplishing the mission.” Clearly Santorum has never seen women standing in the way of men getting something important, like the TV remote.

From my friend Bill Littlejohn: Wes Welker has been asked to throw the switch that drops the ball at Times Square next New Year’s Eve.

So confusing….

February 10, 2012

A picture forwarded by a friend explaining social media:

Mark Zuckerberg says he inadvertently “liked” Mitt Romney on Facebook. See, this darn thing has become so complicated and convoluted, even its founder gets confused.

Tiger Woods is back at Pebble Beach. What a week in sports. The most talked about golfer once again is black, and the most talked about NBA player is Asian.

Anyone on probation is not allowed to possess deadly weapons, but the judge in Barry Bonds’ case is allowing him to keep his baseball bats. As evidence, presumably Bonds referred the judge to the 2011 SF Giants, who showed that their bats couldn’t hurt anyone.

LSU QB Jordan Jefferson says he believes a major reason the team lost the BCS title game to Alabama 21-0 was the offensive game plan. “Oh stop whining,” said even Giselle Bundchen.

So who’s going to be the first to do the Dos Equis spoof? “Mitt Romney, the least interesting man in the world.”

An new study shows a cancer drug has succeeded in reversing early stage Alzheimer’s disease in mice. Which could be very good news in the long run. In the short run, just what we need, smarter mice.

United and Lufthansa – amongst others – say fuel surcharge is “temporary” and not part of the fare. But on nonrefundable tickets, where the taxes are at least refundable, there is a note – “surcharge will NOT be refunded” if ticket is cancelled. Uh, if you don’t fly, how are you causing them to use fuel?

Michele Bachmann now says “I was the perfect candidate,” Even Sarah Palin says “This woman is delusional.”

Jeremy Lin, whose contract with the Knicks was just guaranteed, has apparently been living with his dental student brother. And Jeremy’s been sleeping on the living room couch. Of course, given the rumors about women before his impending divorce, the same probably could have been said at home for Kobe Bryant.

Let me get this straight, many Americans love Jeremy Lin partly because he graduated from Harvard, but we deride our candidates for the same thing. So we want our NBA stars to be smart but not our Presidents?

Lebron James and Kendrick Perkins are bickering over James’ tweet about Blake Griffin dunking over Perkins. Kendrick told one reporter “You don’t see Kobe Bryant tweeting, you don’t see Michael Jordan tweeting…” Yeah, but that might be because they are too old to know how.

Jack in the Box has a bacon milkshake? Who’d a thunk it, someone could make McDonald’s shamrock shake look natural and healthy by comparison.

From T.C. Tom Brady cancelled playing in the AT&T Pebble Beach Pro-AM. Gisele says, you can’t expect my husband to hit the bleeping ball and putt out too!

Knicks are Roll-Lin

February 9, 2012

Sign held by an Asian man at Verizon Center where the Jeremy Lin led Knicks beat the Washington Wizards – “Who says we can’t drive?”

Unclear on the concept: Jeremy Lin’s former Palo Alto High coach Peter Diepenbrock “In the last 24 hours, I’ve taken calls from more than 12 different sportswriters in New York alone, I didn’t even know New York had that many sportswriters.” Uh, coach, New York has expotentially more sportswriters than 12 just covering the Yankees.

Madonna is going to be performing at HP Pavilion, aka the “Shark Tank.” Unlike the San Jose Sharks, however, Madonna has actually made it to a championship game.

Mitt Romney said today he’s going to be more aggressive in campaigning against Rick Santorum. Translation, “those Super PACS that I know absolutely nothing about and don’t communicate with are going to get a lot more nasty.”

Enlightened male award of the day to Brandon Jacobs of the Super Bowl Champion NY Giants, for his comments about Giselle Bundchen. “She just needs to continue to be cute and shut up.” As if men listen to anything super models say anyway.

(Update, tonight Jacobs apologized for his words. Which means he probably heard from a higher authority -his wife.)

Okay, now that Super Bowl betting is over, who’d have wagered that there would be a political controversy over a Clint Eastwood ad? And that Clint would be accused of trying to support a Democratic president?

But really, Clint Eastwood makes an ad that can be seen as pro-Obama? Right. Next you’ll be telling me that Bill O’Reilly is supporting Ellen Degeneres.

Actually if Eastwood gets mad enough at all these Republican attacks, maybe he WILL make an ad supporting Obama.

The Minnesota Twins are auctioning off a baseball signed before a game last July by Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries. No guesses as to the estimated price but expect buyer’s remorse 72 days later.

Sean Hannity said that if President Obama had his way, Bin Laden would still be alive. and he thinks “that can be proved as well on tape.” Assume that tape is in the same place as Obama’s Kenyan birth certificate?

Apparently there are plans afoot to televise Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries’s divorce proceedings. Well, those proceedings could last longer than the marriage.

Alan Silverleib of CNN wrote a post titled “Conservatives still resist Romney.” Which basically says they doubt his authenticity. As a moderate liberal, can I add “‘Who says there’s no bipartisan agreement in this country?”

Memphis has announced they will become the newest Big East member. Well, they are east of new members San Diego State, Boise State, Houston and SMU. (Although the city IS west of, for example, Chicago.)

U Conn’s mens basketball, facing sanctions for poor academic performance, is suggesting that the Huskies reduce the # of games they play next year if the NCAA will waive their punishment of being banned from 2013’s March Madness tournament. Can’t imagine how the school gets the reputation of thinking the rules don’t apply to them.

With Proposition 8 being at least temporarily overturned in California, one argument that comes up during the gay marriage debate is that legalizing it will lead to people marrying their pets. Which isn’t going to happen. On the other hand, doesn’t mean that some pets aren’t better in relationships than some humans.