Posted tagged ‘flutie jokes’

Out of their league?

March 29, 2016

Nice “aww” story, A young boy ran on the basketball court in New Orleans to give Carmelo Anthony a hug. Of course, it could have ended badly – the kid could have dunked on the Knicks.

 

UConn women’s basketball team is so dominant, that it’s become controversial whether or not they are good for the sport. Perhaps after the season the Lady Huskies should be forced to play a team more on their level – like the Lakers. (or Knicks or Lakers)

The Pelicans had SEVEN injured players for their game against the Knicks Monday, and New Orleans still won, 99-91. Wow. Carmelo and the team didn’t need a hug for that performance, they needed a time-out.

The FBI is dropping their sui against Apple because they say they have cracked the San Bernandino terrorist’s iPhone. So they finally tried “password1234″” instead of “password123”?

Donald Trump’s campaign manager was charge with battery after an incident when he grabbed a woman reporter earlier this month. Although knowing Trump supporters they’ll probably just take it as a positive sign that the Donald will be tough on the media.

‪#‎DougFlutie‬‘s “Hail Mary” 1984 pass is almost as much of a miracle as the fact he’s gotten me to watch ‪#‎DWTS‬

An Indian company. Bakeys, has developed edible, compostable cutlery, made of rice, millet and wheat, offered in sweet, savory, or plain flavors. The utensils even work for hot items, including soup. Only problem going forward in the U.S? At places like Taco Bell they may taste better than the food.

Wish this were the Onion: A company has reportedly come up with a handgun that looks like a Smartphone and unfolds to fire. ‪#‎Whatcouldpossiblygowrong‬?

R.I.P Patty Duke, 69. Does it mean you’re old when you remember when 69 was old.

In Northern California, a man who left his dog in his car when he had to spend a night in jail, has now pleaded no contest to animal cruelty and has been sentenced to 24 days MORE in jail. The sentence begins presumably after he finds a dogsitter?

A new app, Daily Joints, wants to be Tinder for marijuana users. With the added advantage that if it doesn’t work out, you don’t remember who you hooked up with anyway.

The NFL apparently wants a retraction from the New York Times about a story claiming concussion cases were omitted when the league downplayed the effects of head injuries on players.
Politico reports a letter sent from the NFL to the paper says the story is “false and defamatory.” Like the Pentagon Papers?

 

Are you listening, Susan Sarandon? Even the church of baseball has some absolutes.

 

 

There are rumors that several Cuban migrants who were rescued from a raft off the Florida coast with gunshot wounds may have shot themselves in order to be taken to U.S. hospitals and thus given asylum. And Trump really thinks a wall will stop desperate people?

Pass the brownies?

March 21, 2016

By a 6-2 vote, the Supreme Court today rejected a conservative challenge to Colorado’s marijuana legalization laws. Well, guess they don’t call it the High Court for nothing.

 

Go figure, the ‪#‎Spurs‬ can stop ‪#‎StephenCurry‬ and they can’t stop ‪#‎JeremyLin‬? ‪#‎Hornets‬

Dwight Howard, who has been warned along with the Rockets team about being caught with a sticky substance on his hand, said “I think that it’s getting overblown, like I’m doing something crazy. But again, I’ve never been a cheater.”
A cheater no, a baby, yes.

#‎Patriots‬ owner Robert Kraft apparently wrote NFL commissioner Roger Goodell asking for the #1 draft pick back that the team lost in the ‪#‎Deflategate‬ scandal. Meanwhile the ‪#‎Saints‬ wrote Goodell, they want 2012 back.

The SF 49ers and Santa Clara are haggling over 2016 rent, which was supposed to be $24.5 million; the team wants to pay $20 million. Well, of course, and aren’t most landlords in the SF Bay Area lowering rents in this economy?

(my friend Rich De Give asks “Doesn’t the lease state the 49ers are supposed to field a professional football team?”)

A new Park Slope, Brooklyn, $1-3 million condo development is going to offer a stroller valet service to residents. And we wonder why some of the rest of the world hates us?

Heard a radio ad for Whole Foods today, “America’s Healthiest Grocery Store.” Well if for no other reason than you can’t afford to buy enough food to make you fat.

A Texas man who was arrested for having sex on a Las Vegas Ferris wheel with a woman he just met has been fatally shot in a carjacking in Houston. Now, the guy had gone to Vegas to get married, but told police he had fought with his fiance, who was pregnant with another man’s child. They had reconciled, and she was with him when he was killed.
You REALLY cannot make this stuff up. ‪#‎madefortvmovie‬?

Sad news from Toronto that ex-mayor Rob Ford is now in palliative care. Hard to believe that there was a time not that long ago that Ford held the title “most outrageous politician in North America.”

Ted Cruz, saying that it’s a “sad day” with the President visiting Cuba. “Until Obama, siding with the oppressed had always been America’s aspiration.”
Right, as billions of people in Latin America, Africa, Asia and the Mideast can attest. ‪#‎SMH‬ ‪#‎cantfixstupid‬

Donald Trump, trying to be a kindler, gentler, candidate “I like John, he’s a nice guy, I like Ted, he’s a nice guy.” Ted Cruz a nice guy? That’s it. Now we KNOW the Donald is insane.

Elizabeth Warren is engaged in a Twitter war with Donald Trump. One of today’s latest salvos from Warren “@RealDonaldTrump knows he’s a loser. His insecurities are on parade: petty bullying, attacks on women, cheap racism, flagrant narcissism.”
Pass the popcorn, this could be fun.

John Kasich “There is a below-zero chance that I would serve as V.P. to one of the other candidates.” So he is saying there’s a chance?

Bernie Sanders’ latest fundraising email of the morning. “Tomorrow night is YUGE.” Wait, I thought the GOP was the party with the spelling problem.

 

 

Watching ‪#‎DWTS‬ for the first time ever because of ‪#‎DougFlutie‬. Well, it makes me less ashamed to be American than watching some of those ‪#‎GOP‬ debates.

#‎DougFlutie‬ and ‪#‎MarlaMaples‬ on ‪#‎DTWS‬: Talk about from the sublime to the ridiculous.

 

Marla Maples appearing in ‪#‎DWTS‬ – Dancing With The Stars. As opposed to her ex-, who regularly appears in ‪#‎DTWT‬ – Dancing With The Truth