Posted tagged ‘Al Franken jokes’

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Daily affirmation?

May 26, 2013

Minnesota Senator Al Franken, once thought to be a top GOP target, is now a heavy favorite to win re-election. Guess he’s good enough, smart enough, and people like him.

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Now-former Notre Dame QB Everett Golson said he was “suspended from the university for poor academic judgment.”. Give the guy some credit. He accepts responsibility and can use polysyllabic words.

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But come on, if he did plagiarise an exam, you think Golson couldn’t have found an imaginary girlfriend to take the test for him?

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When new Rutgers AD Julie Hermann coached women’s volleyball at Tennessee, 15 players wrote a letter complaining she called them “whores, alcoholics and learning disabled.” Now when asked Hermann said “I never heard any of this, never name-calling them or anything like that whatsoever.” Possibly proving that women can be just as clueless as men about saying those three little words – “I was wrong.”

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Asked  if they would fit with the Republican party today. “Reagan wouldn’t have made it, certainly Nixon wouldn’t have made it, because he had ideas. We (I) might have made it, but I doubt it.” The responder? That commie-pinko Bob Dole.

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A rope cable from the Fox Skycam fell tonight during the Coca-Cola 600, injuring at least 10 fans and damaging several cars. Of course this is bad news for the fans and drivers, but on the other hand, a few more episodes like this should be good for NASCAR TV ratings.

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Good luck to Mike Kickham, 24, who as been announced as the SF Giants’ Tuesday starter against the Oakland As. Kickham will at least temporarily be the third lefty in the Giants rotation. And really, isn’t Tim  Lincecum weird enough to be an honorary lefty?

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Los Angeles Dodgers’ 2013 record when trailing after six innings – 0 and 17. And all those Dodger fans who leave in the 7th said “See!?”

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Feeling jaded about MLB as a business?  I dare you to watch this postgame interview without smiling.

http://bleacherreport.com/articles/1652622-munenori-kawasaki-video-watch-blue-jays-ss-epic-interview-after-walkoff-double

Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
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What’s in a name?

February 12, 2012

Chad Ochocinco is changing his name again. In other words, Ochocinco is Ocho-Seis’ed.

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Then there’s Meta World Peace on Jeremy Lin: “We think he needs a better haircut. I don’t like that style. We’re in New York, the fashion capital. You’re a star now. Wear some shades. Shades, OK? Put down the nerdy Harvard book glasses. Put on some black shades, OK? With some leather pants. Change your style. Fashion…”

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I’m all for freedom of speech and religion but hearing the Catholic bishops talk about their “”serious moral concerns” about President Obama’s birth control compromise makes me wonder where this outrage was when the pedophilia scandals first came to light.

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Al Franken headlining for the Democrats at the California convention. His challenge, saying something funnier than most of the GOP presidential candidates do every day.

This Franken line wasn’t bad: “Watching people complain about Clint Eastwood’s ‘Halftime in America’ ad is like watching people rooting for the dealer in blackjack.”

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Meanwhile, Governor Jerry Brown is in full “take no prisoners” mode. And he illustrates an interesting alternative to term limits – elect politicians who are old enough they don’t give a sh*t who they offend anymore.

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Sad news about Whitney Houston, but hearing it at a convention surrounded by 1,000 people with smart phones made me feel like I was in one of those “that’s so thirty seconds ago” commercials.

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Sarah Palin is now giving advice to Mitt Romney on how to defeat President Obama. And she is such an expert on that subject…

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But really, Sarah Palin’s telling Mitt Romney how to beat President Obama? What’s next, John Kerry giving Mitt charisma lessons?

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Mitt Romney says he is the “only candidate in this race, Republican or Democrat, who has never worked a day in Washington.” Uh, yeah, that’s because he lost his earlier races for the Senate and the Presidency.

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Democrats will never be accused of not being P.C. enough. Speeches at convention are done with ASL AND closed captioning.

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Rick Santorum is pontificating on birth control these days, and said yesterday that it “only costs a few dollars,” and “serves no economic need.” Uh, do we really expect a man to be an expert on birth control who has seven children?

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Categories: political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
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