Author Archive

Happy St Patrick’s Day

March 16, 2017

My favorite toast.  May your troubles last as long as your perfect brackets.

Northwestern on when Vandy player mistakenly fouled on purpose to allow Wildcats to take lead on FTs. And Vanderbilt is supposed to be the SMART SEC team?

Anyone really chortling over Middle Tennessee bracket win should have to prove themselves by finding the school on a map.    Or simply naming the city where it is.

Or naming one player on the team.

Wonder how many people know where Xavier is for that matter, without Google.  (Hint, there are at least two in the U.S.  It’s not the one in New Orleans.)

SNL has decided to broadcast live even on West Coast for the remainder of the season. Who says Trump hasn’t accomplished anything? @Nbcsnl

Can someone explain to @realDonaldTrump that #MealsonWheels does not just refer to airline catering?

Trumpers are saying #BoycottHawaii Liberal Hawaii thinking “cool, this was easier than building a wall.”

Trump’s new budget proposes privatizing Air Traffic Control. Great, so we can bring the same efficiency and great management to ATC as they have at the airlines themselves. #WTF?

So Trump administration needs “evidence” to fund Meals on Wheels & school meals, but not to accuse Obama of wiretapping.

PBS cut completely in new #TrumpBudget. $445 million. But hey, what does US really need, Big Bird, or “Winter White House” at Mar-A-Lago?

There is a certain logic in cutting Sesame Street & Education. What’s the point in having children learn to read if you think it’s #FakeNews

Trump said last night in an interview he made the wiretapping claim because “Well, I’ve been reading about things,” And he cited among other things both a Fox News report and a NY Times article.
Yes, the NY Times. #FakeNews
Who needs solar, we could power the USA if someone could figure out how to harness head-spinning.

A tweet that appeared briefly on McDonald’s feed today “@RealDonaldTrump”You are actually a disgusting excuse of a President and we would love to have @BarackObama back, also you have tiny hands.”
The tweet was taken down after 20 minutes. And McDonald’s says they were hacked. Meanwhile, millions of liberal Americans actually thought about buying a Big Mac.

Budget director Mulvaney when asked about cutting after-school programs and school meals, said they weren’t worth taxing people to fund -“there’s no demonstrable evidence they’re actually helping results — helping kids do better in school.”
At least he didn’t say hungry kids are more focused. #SMH

 

Website asks “Prove your humanity” by answering “1 + 10 = ?” Suppose would be tacky to say some Trump voters think that’s tough question.

 

Trump direct quote in Nashville “And by the way, aren’t our borders getting extremely strong? … We’ve already experienced an unprecedented 40 % in illegal immigration on our southern border, 61% — 61% percent since Inauguration Day. 61% Think about it. And now people are saying we’re not going to go there anymore ’cause we can’t get in, so it’s going to get better and better.”
Well, okay then, so Trump wants us to believe him. Fine, let’s scrap the now unnecessary wall and put the funds back for social programs and the environment.

If you’re reading this…

March 15, 2017

Are you sure you’re finished with your brackets?

Warriors almost lose to 76ers, Wizards lose to Mavericks, and Spurs with Aldridge back lose to TrailBlazers.  WTF?  Can we blame Trump?

The Los Angeles Lakers are shutting down Luol Deng & Timofey Mozgov for the rest of the NBA season. Which means Deng & Mozgov will be contributing about as much as they have so far in the season.

This is a good thing, not just for @Spurs fans. Glad he’s OK –
“Spurs’ LaMarcus Aldridge cleared to return after minor heart arrhythmia.”

(but based on tonight’s game against Portland, maybe  the team celebrated a bit too much in the afternoon?)

Joint joke with Roberta K.  Israel was eliminated today from the World Baseball Classic after they lost to Japan 8-3.   Had they won, however, the team was probably going to be tested for PEB – Performance Enhancing Bagels.

-.

Jeff Sessions speaking in Richmond “I am astonished to hear people suggest that we can solve our heroin crisis by legalizing marijuana — so people can trade one life-wrecking dependency for another that’s only slightly less awful. Our nation needs to say clearly once again that using drugs will destroy your life.”
Wonder if his speech was followed by a cocktail party.

Ryan says President had a hand in #Trumpcare bill. But we all know Trump has really small hands

Hawaii judge strikes down Muslim Ban 2.0. Waiting for Trump to decry a foreign state meddling in US affairs.

 

Trump promising ‘some very interesting items’ about Obama wiretap claim. Like his “very interesting” facts about Obama’s birth certificate?

Paul Ryan on if #Trumpcare would pass today-“that’s kind of a goofy question” Prompting immediate demands for apology. From Goofy. And Pluto.

Trump wannabe Geert Wilders apparently is losing bigly in Dutch elections. Does this mean Netherlands get added to travel ban?

The CDC Monday said the Zika virus might be present in Florida sperm donations. But hey, so glad Trump is going to be doing away with all those pesky government agencies and regulations:

 

 

After Rand Paul blocked a treaty that would have allowed Montengro into NATO, something Russia opposes, John McCain stated “The senator from Kentucky is now working for Vladimir Putin.”
Uh, only the senator from Kentucky?

 

All about those Ws.

March 14, 2017

Warriors come back at home for a stirring 2-point win over the…. Philadelphia 76ers?  Looking at the way the team is playing lately looks like true @NBA MVP might be Kevin Durant.

 

Top seed Cal one-and-done in the NIT tournament. Well, at least the Bears won’t be complaining anymore about not making #MarchMadness

Anyone who picked Wake Forest deep into the tournament, either for old times sake or in honor of Tim Dunca,  you still have time to change your online brackets.

 

Oakland As are lowering beer prices for 2017. The same year they’ve signed Santiago Casilla. Coincidence?

Police in Ocala, Florida, have warned residents to be on the lookout for an escaped cobra. But come on, won’t the snake just be standing his ground?

Up in Napa this morning, police found a naked man screaming for help because he was stuck in a shaft above a Togo’s sandwich shop. Cue the “hold the pickle” jokes.

My friend Josh Becker informs me  ESPN is rotating each tournament team and then a notable alumnus. For Purdue the notable alumnus was Herman Cain.

Are the Boilermakers a 9-9-9 seed?

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie apparently got matching tattoos several months before they decided to divorce. Wonder how many parents will put this story in front of their teen children and go “see!”

A big problem in USA is how many millions of Americans took Trump promises as seriously as #thebachelor proposals.

Only 2 1/2 inches of snow fell in Washington, D.C. Will  Trump take credit for cutting the storm down to size?

 

Waiting for Trump to tweet that a far worse storm was averted in Washington DC with help of the best microwave surveillance.

Were the Trump Tax Returns found with a microwave camera. Or was it a television?

So Trump White House is against releasing personal data leaked illegally. Unless it’s Hillary Clinton’s. #TrumpTaxes

Lost in the  #RachelMaddow right or wrong debate is fact if Trump did what other candidates did his returns would already be public .

Paul Ryan on Steve King “Like to think he misspoke & it wasn’t really meant way it sounds.” Time to call GOP the GEP – Grand Enabling Party

In 2014, Trump tweeted that “CBO estimates over 2.5M will lose jobs directly because of Obamacare.” Love may fade, but internet is forever.

The CBO also said yesterday that defunding Planned Parenthood would result in “several thousand” more births paid by Medicaid. Well, good thing the GOP is all about services to poor women and children.

The Trump administration may gut Michelle Obama’s healthy lunch program, allowing more salt and only half the current whole grain requirements. Well,it’s a good thing we will have such wonderful Trumpcare to take care of these kids if they grow up with high blood pressure and diabetes.

Bracket building

March 13, 2017

As Americans focus on their brackets, many sites ask for tie-breakers like guessing the score of the final game. Wouldn’t it be more a test of skill to ask entrants to name one player on each of their final four teams?

 

As everyone expected, one Tim Duncan retired the Spurs had a shot for best record in NBA.

Tim Tebow got his 1st hit of Spring Training for the Mets today. Hope he didn’t trip on his way to first over that blind squirrel carrying a nut.

Mexico eliminated from #WBC after given wrong information on tie-breakers #WTF? So Trump will blame baseball when they don’t pay for wall.

Every time he opens his mouth, #SteveKing shatters the myth of white supremacy.

Kellyanne Conway is now backpedaling on her claim that Obama was spying on Trump with microwaves and TVs, saying she was speaking “generally” and “I’m not Inspector Gadget.”
What, her claims aren’t just #alternativeevidence?”

KellyanneConway “I’m not in the job of having evidence.” Well, when she’s right, she’s right.

Jonathan Tran, the White House fence jumper, was released on his own recognizance, ordered to comply with a mental health evaluation and told he cannot have guns. Where’s the NRA outrage on this one?

Trump’s latest tweet -“It is amazing how rude much of the media is to my very hard working representatives. Be nice, you will do much better!”
Yeah, the media is so rude, they occasionally fact check and remind Trump people of what they themselves actually might have said in the past. Tragic, really.

 

So were people massacred in Bowling Green because they knew too much about the building of surveillance microwaves and televisions?

CBO report  Proposed GOP healthcare will result in 14 million fewer insured by 2018 Waiting for Trump & company to tweet about #alternativenumbers

So did someone in GOP say hell would freeze over before they’d take people’s insurance? #blizzard2017

Clearly Trump was wrong when he accused Obama of tapping his phones. Obama was REALLY tapping his microwaves.

Obamacare promise “If you like your doctor you can keep your doctor.” Trumpcare promise- “If you like staying alive you can keep staying alive.”

Apparent rationale behind #Trumpcare is rural low-income older folks dumb enough to have voted for him don’t deserve healthcare.

Schwarzenegger says he is not running for Senate. Turning down a chance to be the sanest reality star in Washington?

 

In women’s NCAA tournament, #UConn, winner of 107 straight, was given overall #1 seed. In related news committee announced water was wet.

And then there were 68

March 12, 2017

Trump University not selected to NCAA men’s tournament. Congressional investigation needed. Clearly Obama’s fault. #selectionsunday

 

How lazy is USA getting? @ESPN now offers opportunity to pick “smart bracket” & have it autofilled in their bracket challenge #IblameTrump

Syracuse whining big time about being left out of tournament. Not much Orange could’ve done, but maybe beating Boston College & St Johns?

Nerd alert! Northwestern vs Vanderbilt in 1st round. Instead of trash talking expect compost talking.  Or at least slurs about recycling.

 

 

Notre Dame vs Princeton in a 1st round NCAA tournament. Hope Buffalo airport has room for all the private planes

 

Another bitter disappointment for Los Angeles Lakers    Team thought they had performed well enough this year for at least a six seed.

Trump doesn’t follow college basketball, so not doing #marchmadness brackets. Makes no sense, knowing nothing hasn’t stopped him before

Turning on World Baseball Classic casually and hearing “grounder to short, a chance for Crawford.” All’s briefly right with the world. #SFGiants.

Best thing about #selectionsunday Realizing that when the tournament is over it will be @MLB opening day!

And who had Israel 4-0 in the #WBC first round? Now all you liars put your hands down.

Expecting any moment now for @realDonaldTrump to tweet that Obama stole that hour last night. #daylightsavings

Last night @nbcsnl mocked Ivanka Trump w/ a perfume called “Complicit.” Donald Trump can’t decide whether to complain or have her sell it.

 

Paul Ryan “Are we providing a system where people have access to health insurance if they choose to do so? And the answer is yes.”
Right, like everyone has access to a Tesla, a boat and a four-bedroom house with a pool if they choose to….It’s all about individual freedom. #SMH

Tom Price says of Trumpcare “nobody will be worse off financially in the process that we’re going through, understanding that they’ll have choices that they can select the kind of coverage that they want for themselves and for their family.”
Right, like people can select their dream car or house. But if they can’t afford it then they are better off because they still have their money…    In this case, until they get sick.

 

 

Kellyanne Conway talking about microwaves that turn into cameras. Ooh, can we reverse this? Would be great to heat up lunch on the go.

Joe Biden “The only bipartisan thing left in America is the fight against cancer.”
Well, he’s partly right. GOP believes that both Democrats & Republicans with money deserve to survive the disease.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Watch and learn

March 12, 2017

Yeah, even rich superstars face tough decisions. Draymond Green, unhappy at some calls in last night’s Warriors loss, said he thought about speaking out and getting a $25,000 fine from the league. But he decided to keep his mouth shut and buy a fancy watch instead.

 

Lots of people who will start working on brackets will be united tomorrow in 1 thought “UC Davis HAS a men’s basketball team? #marchmadness

Thinking #Duke #NotreDame might have tied an NCAA record as far as a basketball game where most viewers wanted to see both teams lose.

How many casual NBA fans turned on tonight’s nationally televised game & say “Wait, thought this was @Warriors @Spurs Who are these guys?

And who knew the guy who would REALLY make Northern California proud tonight  in the Spurs Warriors game was St. Mary grad Patty Mills?

 

In Sacramento a woman was arrested for felony vandalism after driving her SUV this morning through the front doors of the county jail. Well, give her points for police convenience.

Pope Francis, acknowledging a shortage of priests, has indicated openness to allowing married men to be ordained. So for all his progressiveness, still better a married man than a celibate woman?

Federal prosecutor Preet Bharara, who was asked personally by Trump to stay on three months ago, today was fired after he refused a sudden demand from AG Sessions to resign.
Well, this ought to make anyone about to make a deal with this administration feel warm and fuzzy.

Why do I think we haven’t heard the last of #PreetBharara? Paging mean bitch Karma.

Trump was regularly critical of Obama for playing golf. Guess he thinks Presidents should only play golf on courses they own?

Who says Presidents don’t have tough decisions. With #daylightsavings Trump will have to choose whether to tweet at 2a or 3am tonight.

An intruder who apparently jumped the White House fence last night around told police he had an appointment with Donald Trump. So maybe he was there to help the President with his Twitter account?

 

 

Due to intruder last night White House reportedly placed under temporary “orange alert.” Uh, hasn’t it been on orange alert since Jan 20?

 

 

Trump this afternoon praised the Secret Service for doing — a “fantastic job” apprehending a “troubled person” approaching the White House this morning.
Especially as most of the President’s Oval Office meetings are already full up on troubled persons.

Not quite springing

March 11, 2017

 

A woman was arrested in Florida for trespassing and claiming a relationship with Tim Tebow. The other Mets aren’t too concerned, at least she doesn’t seem to be interested in stalking professional athletes.

 

So with  Kawhi Leonard and Kevin Durant both out maybe Kerr & Popovich should just  have fun & make @Spurs @Warriors an all bench game.

At time of posting, Kerr just announced he will sit most of his starters. Maybe Pop should take the night off and let Becky Hammon coach. Not that she needs the help, but could be fun.

Not sure how long Duke will be in NCAA tournament but Grayson Allen is perfect player to watch for those missing NFL violence. #MarchMadness

Dr. Joseph Nicolosi, 70, who founded the idea of anti-gay conversion therapy, has died. Or maybe we should say God permanently converted him.

 

Nancy Pelosi said today if Hillary Clinton had won she would have retired. NOW she tells us. Might have been a great Midwest campaign ad.

Apparently Jim Mattis is battling with the White House over his choice to be undersecretary of defense for policy, which is apparently the 4th most powerful position in the Pentagon. Anne Patterson, a former ambassador to Egypt was a supporter of President Morsi and the Muslim Brotherhood.
Waiting to see how this is somehow Obama’s fault.

A Florida judge denied a retired police captain’s motion to use the “Stand Your Ground” defense after he fatally shot another man in a movie theater, allegedly in an argument over texting. So the case will now go to trial. Wonder if the decision had anything to do with the victim being a married young white father?

Tomorrow morning will Trump tweet that Obama was responsible for Sean Spicer’s flag pin being upside down?

Tomorrow morning will Trump tweet that Obama was responsible for Sean Spicer’s flag pin being upside down?

#SeanSpicer used the phrase “not aware” 10 times in today’s press conference. 11 if you count his upside down flag pin.

 

Trump canceled multiple open press events this week, citing “limited space.” Can we add that phrase to #TrumpDictionary #alternativefacts

 

 

 

Wait, we are losing an hour’s sleep this weekend? I blame Trump.

 

 

 

A league of their own

March 10, 2017

Amtrak is demanding an apology from Washington Redskins. They are proving to be an insult to real train wrecks.

 

Brock Osweiler traded to the Browns. Well, at least Brock won’t have to deal with any more playoff pressure.

The Bears have released Jay Cutler and apparently the NY Jets may be interested #samecircusdifferenttent

KTVU reports Aldon Smith, hoping to be reinstated by the NFL to play for the Raiders in 2017, was reportedly “detained” for public intoxication when a driver of a car he was in ran into a police car. The driver was detained for alleged DUI.
At 8:30 a.m. Yeah, Smith is really turning over a new leaf.

Gotta say one thing for the Tim Tebow experiment. It does detract from the Mets other hitting problems.

MLB will have a special “Little League Classic” game played in Williamsport, PA (on a regular-sized field) on Aug 20 between the Pirates and the Cardinals. In hopes of reaching more children, the Sunday night game will start at 7pm ET.
Of course, if they REALLY wanted to have children tune in they could play the game in the afternoon.

Michael Jordan at half-time of the Duke-UNC had a verbal faux pas of sorts in saying “the ceiling is the roof.” But now the phrase has caught on and his Jordan brand will be selling “CEILING ROOF GOAT” t-shirts.
Wow. Even the man’s apparent air balls have a way of banking in..

A man caused a Hawaiian Airlines flight from Las Vegas to Honolulu to divert to Los Angeles when he got in an altercation with a flight attendant over having to pay $12 for a blanket.
Just wait until he tries to buy a mai-tai in Waikiki.

EPA Secretary Scott Pruitt says CO2 doesn’t cause global warming. Waiting for HHS Secretary Tom Price to say cigarettes don’t cause cancer.

The GOP/Trumpcare bill would make it illegal to use Medicaid at Planned Parenthood, even for STDs, pap smears, cancer screenings and contraception.
Once again, four words “Pro life my ass.”

Maybe liberals should agree all American should have guns, then we can march in to doctors’ offices & hospitals to demand free healthcare.

Now Senator Tom Cotton, usually a Trump ally, says the GOP should wait for the CBO report on their replacement of Obamacare and that the bill as written won’t pass.
A lot easier to complain about something than to fix it, isn’t it?

So if Arnold Schwarzenegger runs for Senate in 2018 will he run as a Republican or a Democrat?

A man who police report has a known history of psychological problems injured seven people today with an axe today at Dusseldorf’s main train station
Scary, but just think, if he were American he could have had a gun.

 

Paul Ryan “This is the closest we’ve been to repealing and replacing Obamacare. And let me just say it again. This is the closest we will ever get to repealing and replacing Obamacare,”
Maybe if the GOP had actually spent any of the last 8 years working on new healthcare policy rather than just voting to repeal the ACA….

Not the charm

March 8, 2017

In Denver, a court issued a warrant to arrest Kings guard Ty Larson, who was on probation for a DUI, and apparently not only failed to complete his community service, but also tested positive for alcohol three times since Sept 2016.
Uh,you’d think if Larson visits Denver he’d at least know one way to relax without alcohol. #cantfixstupid

OK, just how much of a mess are the @NYJets? QB Brian Hoyer reportedly is choosing to sign with the @49ers instead of them.

Andrew Bogut will be out for the rest of year but won’t need surgery. So he should be healthy & ready to get injured again next #NBA season.

It’s #NationalProcrastinationalWeek. Shouldn’t we wait until next week to celebrate?

Thinking Trump may not have written his #WomensDay tweet. It didn’t really grab me.

 

 

While making bracket picks can we have a side bet on how many technical fouls Grayson Allen will get in #MarchMadness?

Well, finally, some good news. Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner are reportedly calling off their divorce. Will Trump take the credit?

Secretary of Homeland Security John Kelly on Trump’s wiretap accusations, “If the President of the United States said that, he’s got his reasons to say it. He must have some convincing evidence that took place. .”
Kelly’s new in town, isn’t he?

Ted Cruz having dinner at White House tonight with Trump. Assume crow & humble pie on the menu?

The GOP promises Americans won’t be sicker under their new health care bill. It will just be referred to as #AlternativeWellness

Exit polls indicated 52% of voters ages 50-64 voted for Trump. And they’re getting biggest premium hike w/ #Trumpcare But her emails..

Lindsay Graham “The country needs an answer to this. The current President has accused the former President of basically wiretapping his campaign.”
What if the answer is simply that the current President is bat-shit crazy.

 

US military budget more than most other countries together, social services lag behind most of Western world. So which will Trump cut?

 

 

Sean Spicer on AARP declaring opposition to “Trumpcare” – It’s not about trying to figure how many special interests in Wash. we can get paid off.” Only the ones who are FOT? #FriendsofTrump?

 

Seriously have to wonder what’s going on when poor and working class Americans are livid about idea of immigrants and poorer people somehow gaming the system for low paying jobs and benefits. While they don’t mind the richest Americans really gaming the system for high paying jobs and to avoid taxes

 

 

 

Special delivery?

March 7, 2017

Tom Brady is partnering with boxed meal delivery company Purple Carrot:.”Eating meals just like the ones we’ll send out to our customers has really helped me stay at the top of my game.”
For $78 a week, customers will get six meals that are high-protein, gluten-free and limited in soy and refined sugar. The meals will also contain no dairy, eggs, seafood, meat or processed foods.
Wonder how many NFL fans will order the meals, and then supplement them with Papa John’s pizza?

 

Kirk Cousins is once again rumored to be going from the Redskins to the 49ers. Same dysfunction, better weather.

Joe Mixon was not invited to the NFL combine this year over his having punched a female student in the face in 2014,  and the league has instituted a new rule this year that bars players from participating in the combine if they have misdemeanor or felony convictions involving domestic violence.
Meanwhile, the Ezekiel Elliott domestic violence investigation will no doubt be completed about the same time the Cowboys rookie star RB retires.

 

Hawaii says their attorneys will file a motion for a temporary restraining order on Trump’s new travel ban. Waiting for someone in the GOP to say that it’s ridiculous for such a motion to be filed from outside of the United States.

British Airways is cutting legroom on their Airbus planes from 30 to 29 inches. They figure this will be no problem as passengers can just start emulating Kellyanne Conway and sit on their knees.

Asked why Trump keeps tweeting about him Arnold Schwarzenegger today responded “I think he’s in love with me.” Pass the large-size popcorn.

Jason Chaffetz ,who as a Congressman will have insurance benefits for life, said that on the proposed GOP Obamacare replacement plan “Americans have choices, and they’ve got to make a choice. So rather than getting that new iPhone that they just love maybe they should invest in their own health care.”
And millions of Americans want to know where they can buy health insurance for the cost of an iPhone.

#Trumpcare will be the best healthcare plan like #TrumpGrill makes the best taco bowls.

We could have great healthcare plan if Congress was REQUIRED to use same plan they come up with tor rest of country. #Trumpcare

Homeland Security wants to separate parents from children at border. So what do they do w/ pregnant women?

Trump tweet this morning “122 vicious prisoners, released by the Obama Administration from Gitmo, have returned to the battlefield. Just another terrible decision.”
Except that 113 of the 122 former Guantanamo detainees Trump is talking about were released by W. Only 9 by Obama. #alternativefacts #alternativenumbers

 

#ChaffetzMath compares buying healthcare to buying new iPhone. Not a gun. Because no GOP politician would ever say not to buy a new gun

Sean Spicer to CNN Trump has no regrets about wiretap claims. As if we expected anyone w/ NarcissisticPersonalityDisorder to regret anything

The proposed GOP plan to “repeal and replace” Obamacare removes a provision that required insurance companies to deduct NO MORE THAN $500,000 of executives’ pay as a business expense.
Well, good to know those poor executives won’t have to choose between just scraping by on half a million a year, and hurting their company’s bottom line. #populistmyass

 

 

Trump today said the GOP healthcare proposal is “wonderful” and says “we’re going to get it done.” Anyone want to lay odds he has any idea what’s actually in the bill?

#BenCarsonAltDictionary Flight delays and cancellations = Involuntary extended vacations

 

From Marc Ragovin “Ben Carson, now starring in: Twelve Years An Involuntary Immigrant”

One brief shining minute.

March 7, 2017

So if the Cavs win it all this year, does Andrew Bogut get a ring?

(Bogut was injured about 30 seconds into his first game with Cleveland.)

Your tax $$ at work. Andrew Bogut, before his injury,  couldn’t practice before game w/ #Cavs today because of work visa issues. Ah those scary Australians.

After Kawhi Leonard’s 39 point performance tonight in a 112-110 win over the Rockets, which included a late clutch three, a block and then two game clinching free throws, the Spurs star got chosen for a “random” drug test. Will the test reveal if Kawhi was born on this planet?

Israel beat South Korea and Taipei in #WorldBaseballClassic. Shocking even serious baseball fans who didn’t realize Israel had a team in #WBC

GM to lay off 1,100 in Michigan. Somehow I missed the Trump tweet taking credit.

The Israeli cabinet approved a plan to decriminalize marijuana. Cool. Two words: kosher Doritos.

Meanwhile, in England, parliament is debating a ban on high heels in the workplace. Seems to me there’s a simple solution, high heels can be a required part of the dress code if men have to wear them too..

#BenCarson talks about “immigrants who came here in bottom of slave ships.” Proving again. even med schools have share of #cantfixstupid

 

Somehow I must have missed Ben Carson talking about the immigrants who built those grain silos in Egypt.

So now Kellyanne Conway says of Trump’s claim that Obama wiretapped Trump Tower “He’s the President of the United States. He has information and intelligence that the rest of us do not.”
Forgetting perhaps that Trump doesn’t believe in intelligence briefings?

The chaotic first Trump travel ban was immediate because “if the ban were announced with a one week notice, the ‘bad’ would rush into our country during that week.” The revised ban signed today takes effect March 16. So the “bad dudes” have slowed down?”

The U.S. Soccer Federation has a new policy that says national team players “shall stand respectfully” during national anthems.
So good to see such a fine upstanding sport as soccer is focused on what’s really important.

So it’s $200,000 to get into #MaraLago & hang out w/ Trump on weekends. What’s the price for where he’s planning to spend summer weekends?

 

Reducing # of insured by 20 million in US will take care of some of Social Security deficit. Can’t collect benefits when dead.

The GOP proposal to replace Obamacare would allow insurers to charge 30% more to anyone who goes without coverage for more than 2 months, or to anyone who turns 27 and doesn’t immediately buy their own insurance.
But this isn’t a mandate. The same as the travel EO isn’t a Muslim ban. #sarcasm

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Not quite winning.

March 6, 2017

Boston Celtics were up two with six seconds to go  against Phoenix and ended up losing by 6.    Are we sure PriceWaterhouseCooper wasn’t somehow involved?

Need any more illustration why baseball is the best sport? Draymond Green is unhappy with the Knicks, because they didn’t play music for the 1st half of todays game against the Warriors. He thought “it changed everything.” And it “was completely disrespectful to… all these people who’ve done these things to change the game from an entertainment perspective.”

Redskins owner Dan Snyder gave coach Jay Gruden a two-year contact extension. Because Snyder figured he couldn’t get anyone else to take on the mess?

 

Wondering if about now FBI director Comey is regretting making Trump President?

The long Bay Area nightmare is over: Warriors two game losing streak ends thanks to the Knicks.

 

Trump doubling down on his Obama #wiretap accusations. Did no one tell him the term #MarchMadness was already taken?

Time to send every Republican in Congress a copy of “The Emperor has no Clothes?”

Press Secretary Spicer on Twitter -“Reports concerning potentially politically motivated investigations immediately ahead of the 2016 election are very troubling.”

Did he type that with a straight face?

#FakeRussiaFacts Russians taught Obama how to do wiretapping when he was growing up in Kenya.

 

Trump didn’t attend the Gridiron Dinner last night, but VP Pence did. And Senator Jodi Ernst said that Pence was “one heartbeat away from being the second most-powerful person in the country’ – behind Steve Bannon.
So will Trump now condemn Ernst for the leak?

 

If #BreitbartNews wrote that moon was made of green cheese, Trump would tweet accusations that Obama stole the cheese for his omelet

A Sikh working on his car in his driveway near Seattle was shot by a white man who yelled “Go back to your own country.” Where’s the outraged Trump tweet on this one?

#MarcoRubio on Trump’s wiretap claims “I have no insight into what exactly he’s referring to…” You had me at “I have no insight..

 

 

So will there be a future comedy movie about Trump administration – “Moscow on the Potomac?”

Those were the days….

March 5, 2017

 

Miss good old days when sleeping late Sat. this time of year meant only craziness you might miss involved March Madness #TrumpTower #wiretap

 

Ah for the days when the most hate you could see on a March saturday was just Duke vs. NC.

Remember when the most trouble we could imagine a President could get into with a smartphone was Bill Clinton sexting?

At least some things don’t changed. The Spurs have clinched their 20th straight playoff berth.

 

Warriors have lost two regular season games in a row. Fortunately there’s a cure for that – it’s called “Playing the Knicks.”

Do Trump supporters now think Obama learned how to do wiretapping in Kenya?

 

Not sure if there’s Colin Powell equivalent in Moscow. But watching Trump & US, wonder what Russian is for “you break it you buy it.

ABC News is reporting Trump went “ballistic” over Sessions’ recusal. Compared to normal, how could they tell?

“the very sacred election process” Does anyone believe @realDonaldTrump tweeted that with a straight face? #wiretap

 

 

How long has it been since most of America was so eagerly awaiting an @SNL cold open? Thanks @realDonaldTrump

 

But let’s be serious for a minute. If anyone who is undocumented is a victim of a crime, sees a crime, or even hears of a potential crime, what possible reason now do they have to come forward to talk to the police?

Jose we hardly knew ye….

March 3, 2017

The Warriors signed Jose Calderon, 35, after Kevin Durant’s injury. Two hours later, when they signed Matt Barnes they cut Calderon but still paid him $415,000.
Wow, with that kind of pay to performance ratio Calderon could be an honorary member of Congress.

Spurs beat the Pelicans 101 to 98 in OT, despite going only 15-25  on free throws.  So let see, does Popovich have practice from the line Saturday morning at 7a, or 630a?

The Rams unveiled new retro uniforms for the 2017 season. Unfortunately for LA fans, the uniforms will have the same players in them.

#TGIF. And best news of the approaching weekend – @SNL is back.

Uber lost their 2nd high-level executive today in a week. Wonder if potential replacement candidates will demand higher salaries based on surge pricing?

Happy #WorldWildlifeDay. Waiting for the GOP rebuttal

What’s more embarrassing for @VP – being caught having used personal email for confidential matters as Gov. of Indiana, or still using AOL?

Mike Pence said regarding Hillary’s email’s and his using a private AOL email account “There’s no comparison whatsoever,” Right. IOKIYR

Arnold Schwarzenegger has quit Celebrity Apprentice, saying he liked NBC and the people and “I would absolutely work with all of them again on a show that doesn’t have this baggage,”
Pass the popcorn and get ready for the Tweet storm.

Trump called situation w/ Sessions “witch hunt.” Now Russian Foreign Minister Lavrov called it “witch hunt.” Almost like they were talking.

So @realDonaldTrump was back on the Twitter rampage last night. Congrats to all those who had “about 48 hours” in the post Joint Session pool.

 

Despite Trump’s promises, a White House spokeswoman said today that his “buy American” rule in Trump’s Executive order won’t apply to the high-profile Keystone project.
It’s not that the President lied, it’s just an alternative promise.

 

Trump just signed an EO overturning a rule that added about 75,000 people receiving Social Security checks because of mental illness or being unable to handle their own financial affairs into the FBI background check database. So now those people can buy guns again. The NRA is thrilled.
Have to wonder, what would happen if someone proposed a bill requiring all workers at abortion clinics to be armed.

From T.C.  “A Tom Brady movie is in the works. No word on who will play the role of Tom but rumor has it that the short list of actors to portray Roger Goddell is down to PeeWee Herman or Bozo.”

Stand up, sit down.

March 3, 2017

Colin Kaepernick says he is going to stand for national anthem next year. Of course, he may be standing in his living room.

ESPN reports that Colin Kaepernick says he will stand for the national anthem next year, saying he “no longer wants his method of protest to detract from the positive change that he believes has been created.”
“Positive change that he believes has been created.” Colin does realize we had an election, right?

Who says there’s no bipartisan agreement in this country any more. MLB just agreed to a “conditional” 2 minute limit for replay review.

 

Trump gave a decent speech and suddenly he’s Presidential. Right, like Sacramento Kings beat Warriors and suddenly they’re a good @NBA team

 

What’s in the water in Waco? As if the sexual assault stories with the football team wasn’t bad enough, now Baylor women’s basketball coach Kim Mulkey had to apologize after saying to fans that if people tell them they will never send their daughters to the school, they should “knock them right in the face

#DrSeussDay “Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It’s not.”

Maybe this is all a plot by @Warriors to get Popovich to tire out his players in a quest for #1 seed. @Spurs #GoSpursGo

So the original Executive Order about  entering the US HAD to be done immediately because of the bad guys who could have raced into the country if they had notice. Now Trump is delaying signing its replacement after his Joint Sessions speech because the WH wants the EO “to have its own ‘moment.'”
Uh, folks, at least of one of these reasons is bullsh*t.

Ratings for Joint Session were way down from Obama and Cinton . What happens when you hire reality star to take President’s place. Sad.

.

Trump on Tues – going to “promote clean air & water.” Trump on Thurs – EPA budget proposal cuts climate protection program 70% to $29 mill.

Of course those defending Sessions also stood up & said Loretta Lynch should be believed on tarmac chat w/ Bill Clinton.

 

So now it’s #JaredKushner. Wouldn’t it be faster to make a list of those in Trump administration who haven’t met secretly w/ Russia.

 

Trump on Sessions “He did not say anything wrong. He could have stated his response more accurately, but it was clearly not intentional.”
So now along with “alternative facts” we have “inaccurate responses” and “unintentional statements?”

·

Congress surely can investigate #Sessions in all that free time available now they aren’t investigating Benghazi or Hillary’s emails again.

 

So it’s “just” alleged misdeeds & lies. But 1 thing clear. If Hillary won & they happened in her admin, GOP would be calling for impeachment

The pies have it?

March 2, 2017

Grant Hill now promoting new “Pie Tops” Pizza Hut shoes for March Madness; they allow you to order pizza by pushing a button on the shoe tongue.
Okay, cute, but if you can afford shoes like that, wouldn’t you be able to afford better pizza than Pizza Hut?

Johnny Manziel has hired agent & is reportedly talking to several @NFL teams. Stay tuned for latest chapter in “Smart GMs, Foolish Choices.

Kevin Durant has sprained MCL Fortunately, this being @NBA, at least he’ll probably be back with Warriors for 2nd month of the playoffs.

Not really serious but a real conspiracy theorist would say the NBA engineered Kevin Durant’s injury to interject a little actual real drama into the regular season.

Academy says 2 accountants who flubbed best picture won’t be returning to #Oscars How long til they say same about #PricewaterhouseCoopers

Bill Condon, director of Disney’s Beauty and the Beast, says that the character of LeFou will have feelings for Gaston, and “it is an exclusively gay moment in a Disney movie.”
Uh, wait a minute, what about all those cohabitating dwarves?

Researchers in Canada found that Subway’s ‘oven-roasted chicken” contained only 53.5% chicken DNA, while the “sweet onion teriyaki chicken” contained only 42.8%.
Taco Bell is thinking ‘that much?”

From my friend Mark Brinkman, I’m in. “I have a terrific idea. We can have a beloved president who is funny, popular and available to attend this year’s White House Correspondents’ Dinner. His name is President Barack Obama!!! Wouldn’t that be great?”

City officials apparently are worried about possible violence because a march supporting President Trump is expected to take place in Berkeley on Saturday, and counter-protesters could show up
Well, let’s hope the anti-Trump folks just leave both marchers alone..

 

ND Congressman Kevin Cramer ripped Dem women who wore white to Trump’s speech last night to honor the suffrage movement. “But by the way, did you notice how poorly several of them were dressed, as well? It is a syndrome. There is no question.”
Right, because they should have worn Ivanka Trump? #WTF

 

 

DOJ says Jeff Sessions spoke twice in 2016 with Russia’s US ambassador & did not disclose it. So will Trump respond by firing Justice Dept?,

 

Graham & McCain indicated they want “answers” on Sessions-Russia report. Uh, gentlemen, “a little less conversation a little more action”?

 

=

 

How much worse does Sessions scandal have to get before Trump has Kellyanne Conway climb on Oval Office desk in heels for distraction?

Think White House staff can convince @realDonaldTrump to give up Twitter for Lent? #AshWednesday

 

 

 

 

From TC  “Donald’s tribute to CPO William Ryan Owens was such a “Yuge” contrast to any he’s ever given to Capt Humayun Khan. I don’t believe I’ve ever heard DJ Dumpkoff even mentioning the latter’s name – EVER. Sad.”

 

 

 

Talking points

March 1, 2017

The NCAA has suspended five Richmond baseball players, allegedly for taking part in a fantasy football league. Good to see them focusing on the real important stuff.

 

Lakers honored 2017 Rose Bowl Champions USC Trojans at their game tonight. Well, probably best chance anytime soon for ANY champions to be on the floor at Staples Center.

You know it’s really early days in Spring Training when even as a serious SF Giants fan you hear someone got an RBI & you aren’t sure what team they play for.

Johnny Manziel missed a court-ordered deadline with his domestic violence case, but told the judge today that it was partly because “I don’t believe in what the NFL does (or) have a lot of trust in them based on past situations.” Manziel also said “my life is trending upward.”
Uh, apparently that upward trend doesn’t yet include personal responsibility.

Nordstrom just reported better-than-expected quarterly profit. Hmm, SNL, the NY Times… Trump IS helping make some companies great again.

Facebook is running an ad on ADHD coaching. Do they really expect anyone who might need the coaching to stay focused enough to click on the ad. Oh, look a squirrel video….

Add to the list of NBA teams unhappy with Trump,  the Washington Wizards, since #JointSession means most Americans missed their best game of year.

Sometimes we can all get along:. Keith Ellison brought Tom Perez as his guest to tonight’s #JointSession

Who says I never agree with anything Trump does? New V.A secretary David Shulkin is chosen  Designated Survivor?

 

We’re getting rid of regulations but the water and air are going to choose to be clean. #TrumpEnvironmentalPolicy

What does Trump have against Chicago? Did a woman from there  turn down one of his marriage proposals once?

 

“Lawless chaos.” What does Trump think this country really is? Another installment in the Mad Max Series? #JointAddress

 

Why Steve Beshear? Well, for one big reason, it means that many Democrats, still working on healing after Ellison-Perez race, don’t get upset. Because anointing ANYONE as the future of the Democratic party right now probably pisses off at least 1/3 of the party no matter who it is.

Once again feel so sad that Jennifer Granholm was born in Vancouver.

Attorney General Sessions is worried about “marijuana being sold at every corner grocery store.” Would it be OK if Walmart sold pot next to gun dept?

#Oscars vowing to “take action” after Best Picture debacle. Uh, simple rule, if you’re in charge of envelopes, put away your damn phone.

Happy Mardi Gras. But really, these days in America isn’t every Tuesday Fat Tuesday?

“Ryan was a part of a highly successful raid’. Lovely sentiment. Lovely widow. But then why did you say the military “lost” him. Sad.

 

Trump  invited the widows of two police officers and the father of a son who were all killed by undocumented immigrants to sit in the Presidential box for his address to Congress tonight.
As to the widow of the Indian man killed in Kansas, and families of the Charleston shooter…. well, sorry, they were killed by white Americans.

 

Trump tonight “I have ordered the Department of Homeland Security to create an office to serve American victims. The office is called VOICE: Victims of Immigration Crime Engagement.”
VOICE? Really? Because CONTROL and KAOS were taken?

Trump seen ordering a well done steak with ketchup? Where’s outrage from those who attacked NY Mayor DeBlasio for eating pizza with a fork?

Missed it by that much

February 28, 2017

So how long until Warren Beatty has really good offer from Southwest  Air to star in a commercial? #WannaGetAway

 

But really, a week after the #Oscars how many Americans usually really remember who won “Best Picture?”

To be fair, they were given the wrong envelope. Dunaway and Beatty haven’t felt ambushed like that since they played Bonnie and Clyde.

-Knicks center Joakim Noah will probably be out for the rest of the season due to a knee injury. Making him luckier than the rest of the team.

Jim Harbaugh said last week that he should get “an endurance medal” for lasting four years with the current 49ers ownership.
And season ticket holders are going “Who are we, chopped liver?”

That morning you wake up to find that George W. Bush has become a defender of the media voice of reason? #WTF

Wonder what happens if some one actually throws a shoe at Trump?

Donald Trump – “Nobody knew health care could be so complicated.” Well, nobody who’s never had to worry about healthcare a day in his life.

So yes, same folks talking about sanctity of life & pregnant woman being a “host” want to do away with mandatory pregnancy insurance coverage.

 

Trump to Breitbart “I think (Oscars) were focused so hard on politics that they didn’t get act together at end.” It really is all about him.

So where’s the @realDonaldTrump terrorism tweet about the Kansas guy who killed what he thought were “two Iranians?”

 

Trump Healthcare will be very simple: Any reports of someone being denied or unable to afford coverage will be deemed to be #FakeNews

 

The JCC (Jewish Community Center) in Palo Alto, California was closed for two hours Monday night after a bomb threat, one of over 30 such calls to various JCCs and schools today. So maybe our Tweeter-in-Chief could stop worrying about perceived insults long enough to decry this?

 

As some Democrats engage in yet another purity test battle, a good time to remember the words of the immortal Dr. Gregory House: “It’s a basic truth of the human condition that everybody lies. The only variable is about what.”

 

 

 

Donald Trump on protests against him “I think that Pres.Obama is behind it.” Uh, sir, Obama is relaxing & living good life. Like you on weekends.

 

 

 

 

From Marc Ragovin:  “Simple explanation for the Oscar screw up: Moonlight won the electoral college.

Blame it on the electoral college

February 27, 2017

How many of us would have loved to wake up Nov 9, 2016 & found out those networks reporting election results were as accurate as #Oscars?

So now that #Moonlight has been correctly called as Best Picture at the #Oscars can we have a redo on the 2016 Presidential Election?

Not quite sure what happened.  But after tonight will the Oscares announce  Faye Dunaway and Warren Beatty will redo Bonnie & Clyde?. This time getaway car drives away w/ left blinker on.

So when did #Oscars become #FakeNews? I blame Trump

Waiting for Trump to tweet angrily that the Academy failed to nominate him for his great acting performance as a populist.

LaLaLand still keeps the Best Picture award for movies most Americans have actually seen?

Happiest man in the US right now not associated with #Moonlight has to be #SteveHarvey #Oscars

Thought La La Land was good, not great. Have to think though after the Oscars that sexism trumps racism. #HiddenFigures #Moonlight

So does Trump watch the #Oscars or just rely on Fox News to tell him who to attack?

Baltimore Ravens safety Matt Elam arrested this morning in Miami on reckless driving and drug charges, mostly marijuana. You’d think these idiots would make enough money to spend weekends in Colorado.

Not big Nascar fan, still think better to run out of gas on last lap leading #Daytona500 than playing safe & finishing 4th @KyleLarsonRacing

Actor Bill Paxton, 61, died Sunday. Sad. Much too young. And also when you die on the morning of the Oscars it’s too late to be featured in the “In Memoriam” segment. #bustohell

You know the world has turned upside down when Chris Christie is the voice of reason, saying that GOP lawmakers should have town halls. “Welcome to the real world of responsibility. I understand why members of Congress don’t like it. But you know what? You asked for the job. Go do it.”

Judge Joseph Wapner, 97, from “The People’s Court” has died. Wonder if Trump had him on his Supreme Court list?

 

Back to a bit of seriousness…

This DNC chair thing is overblown IMHO. And plenty of time to come together for the midterms. But for all those who are convinced the GOP is thrilled that the Democrats chose Tom Perez – right, because they’d have just hated running against a party chaired by a Black Muslim or a young gay man…. (Ellison/Buttigieg)

 

Regarding the fact that Perez was on Hillary’s side against Bernie. I can understand how Sanders supporters might find that off-putting. But as someone who has been involved in local politics for decades now, I know that it’s messy. I’ve seen candidates in the primaries and in city races tell outright lies about opponents being secretly Republican, spread false rumors about affairs, illegal contributions, run attack ads that are misleading at best, etc. Unfortunately I’ve seen, as most of us have, good people make bad choices. And sometimes as awful as the campaigns get, you still have to vote in the general election for a candidate you don’t personally admire. To put it mildly.
Not saying it’s right. But it’s sausage making.

 

 

Charged up

February 26, 2017

2016 Heisman finalist Baker Mayfield, Oklahoma’s QB, was arrested this morning in Fayetteville, Arkansas for public intoxication, disorderly conduct, resisting arrest, and felony fleeing the scene.
Mayfield is returning to the Sooners for his senior year, but sure sounds like he’s NFL ready.

 

But if  Mayfield was going to get that drunk you do think he should have stayed in  Oklahoma where cops know him & not Arkansas?  #cantfixstupid

 

A-Rod and Anne Wojcicki have reportedly broken up after dating for about a year. “That’s shocking, I thought they’d stay together forever.” said nobody

Lonzo Ball’s dad to ESPN “My boy is going to play for the Lakers, and I’m going to speak it into existence. I want him to be a Laker, but I wasn’t saying he’s only going to play for the Lakers.”
Whatever Lonzo wants to buy with that 1st big NBA paycheck, he sure won’t need a helicopter.

 

The University of South Florida’s men’s basketball team, 7-20, not only lost to Tulsa Thursday night, but they lost two players temporarily when they apparently fell asleep at the Houston airport and missed their connecting flight home.
Hmm, guess there are worse teams to play for than the Brooklyn Nets.

California Lt. Gov. Gavin Newsom called Sean Spicer’s comments on marijuana “grossly uninformed.” Well, sort of describes Spicer’s comments on most everything.

Syrian cinematographer whose film, “The White Helmets, about the nation’s civil war has been nominated for an Oscar has been denied entry to the US. So he will not be at the Academy Awards. If the film wins can Meryl Streep accept in his place?

 

Trump says he won’t attend this year’s White House Correspondents’ Dinner. Stand up to our enemies? He can’t even face real reporters.

Do you think @realDonaldTrump knows that the #WhiteHouseCorrespondents dinner isn’t until late April?

If Trump isn’t going to #WhiteHouseCorrespondentsDinner anyone know if Alec Baldwin is available?

 

Fortunately no fatalities but a man is in custody after an truck ran in to a crowd at a Mardi Gras parade in New Orleans and injured almost 30 people. The driver of the pickup truck was said to be “highly intoxicated.” Proving again alas, that we generally have less to fear from terrorists than good-old-American bad behavior and stupidity.

 

Inside baseball Democratic stuff below…

Had no strong preference in #DNCChair fight. Have strong hope supporters of all candidates can come together to fight GOP & not each other.

 

Time will tell. But not giving #TomPerez a chance is not very Democratic. #DNCChair

 

 

If the Democrats want to win in 2018 and 2020 it’s going to take the whole party. The progressive wing, the moderate wing, and yes, even some of the conservative wing. Big tents are not just for elephants.