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Saints be praised.

November 11, 2013

New Orleans Saints 49,  Dallas Cowboys 17.   The only time they usually see scores like that in Louisiana is when LSU schedules one of their out-of-conference cupcakes.

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How bad did the Saints make the Cowboys defense look? In the Kiffin family for a change, Lane was feeling sorry for his dad.

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Looks like it’s a good thing for the NFC Least that the NFL’s requirements for winning your division aren’t as strict as the NCAA’s rules for being bowl-eligible.

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SF 49ers, who play New Orleans on the 17th,  are just hoping the Saints offense tired themselves out by going up and down the field so often.

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So who wins the “most embarrassing day in the division” award? The Colts for getting spanked by the Rams or the Titans for losing to the Jaguars?

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Now backup Green Bay quarterback Seneca Wallace is injured. Think that Brett Favre’s wife has hidden his cellphone?

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Singer Miley Cyrus smoked a joint on stage and twerked with a dwarf during the MTV EMAs today. Guess she’s not happy with only offending music fans on one continent.

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It just gets better…. Apparently GM Jeff Ireland spoke at a Dolphins meeting this week and singled out head coach Joe Philbin for creating a team of high character. Would hate to see what a team of low character was….

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But not that long ago I’m sure the folks at MNF looked at tomorrow’s Dolphins Bucs matchup and thought – “how are we ever going to come up with a story line for this turkey of a game?”

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Two people were shot and injured, one reportedly an innocent bystander, after a shooting at New York City’s Bryant Park ice rink. If only all the skaters had been armed.

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Hillary Clinton made a speech in SF stressing bipartisan unity. Translation, going to be fun to see her and Chris Christie each trying to claim ownership of the centrist platform in 2016, after they both try to run in opposite directions in the primary.

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Negotiations

August 14, 2013

Alex Rodriguez’s lawyer, trying to fight MLB’s 211 game suspension, says that his client didn’t commit “multiple violations.” Brings to mind the old joke “we’ve already figured out what kind of woman you are, we’re just arguing price.”‘

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The horror, according to “E-news” Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie almost both ended up on the SAME FLIGHT in first class from Los Angeles to London. When Aniston’s people were informed they changed her flight to the next day. Beyond-first-world problem. Way-beyond-first-world solution.

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Forbes says the Dallas Cowboys, worth $2.3 billion, are America’s most valuable team. Can you imagine how much the Cowboys would be worth if they could actually win?

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Apparently Tom Brady limped off the practice field today with a possible knee injury. Will  Patriots fans blame Tim  Tebow.

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In California, the Sonoma Valley High School Boosters had a fundraising event threatened with cancellation as they were serving homemade wines (some made by well-known winemakers.) Guess they should have done something less dangerous, like raffle off a gun?

 

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Kate Gosselin, (from the not-so-dearly-departed Jon & Kate Plus appears with her children on the cover of People Magazine: “We were struggling, then we were doing really well, then it all fell apart, and now we have a so-called normal life.” Right, because all normal families appear on the cover of People Magazine.

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A 73 year-old man who climbed over a barrier at Hawaii Volcanoes National Park and fell 115 feet was rescued after a hiker heard his cries for help. And somewhere Darwin is thinking “Missed it by THAT much.”

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John Oliver on “The Daily Show” tonight said he became a NY Mets fans “because, as a British person, I associate sports with misery.” Responded the Chicago Cubs “who are we, chopped liver?”

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You cannot make this “stuff” up, female version: Sheryl Sandberg, the multimillionaire who advised women to “Lean In” has founded a non-profit to help women get ahead “Lean In” -the foundation is looking for interns. Unpaid interns. Well, this ought to do wonders for Sandberg’s reputation for being completely out of touch with the lives of average women.

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Oops,. In 2010, the Oklahoma Lottery Commission had discontinued their toll-free number to save money, but recent lottery tickets were printed on old paper. And the phone number is now used… by a phone sex line. The mistake will be corrected, the potential excuse could go on for years. (Really honey, I was just trying to win us millions.)

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From T.C.  “Irish discount airline Ryanair is under fire for refusing to refund a ticket of a passenger who passed away before her flight. The deceased’s son threatened to put the urn containing his mother’s ashes on the plane and filming and uploading the video to YouTube. Talk about passengers requiring assistance to board.”

This wouldn’t happen in the U.S.  They’d probably demand an additional over-sized bag fee for the urn.

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Spurred on.

June 7, 2013

The aging San Antonio Spurs looked like the more energetic team tonight in the NBA finals, despite the late 9pm start time.  Maybe it works having dinner be that 4p Early Bird Special.

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David Stern said before game 1 that this was “probably the most anticipated Finals in who knows, 30 years.” Wow, that’s almost as good as Bud Selig saying the steroid era was over.

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45 years ago,  June 6,  Robert F. Kennedy died after being shot the night before. Scary to realize he’s been dead longer than he was alive.

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Dallas Cowboys DT Josh Brent, awaiting trial for the DUI car crash that killed his teammate Jerry Brown, tested positive for marijuana. Prosecutors are trying to revoke his bail, and presumably to add charges of criminal stupidity and 1st degree douchebagery.

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On a package of Children’s Benadryl: “Do not use to make a child sleepy.”   Wonder if it will stop parents from trying, or give more other parents the idea.

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The karmic payback for shutting down Stephen Strasburg in 2012 continues? The Nationals’ Bryce Harper now will see Dr. James Andrews about his knee, which is not responding to treatment.

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Chris Christie appointed N.J. Attorney General Jeffrey Chiesa, a self-described “conservative Republican” to the Senate to replace Frank Lautenberg. Chiesa called the appointment “an incredible honor,” and says he will not run in the October special election. Translation, he knows he has no chance of winning.

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Mississippi State’s football program is expected to be hit with sanctions for “major infractions” tomorrow. What’s a “major infraction?” Anything done wrong by a non-major SEC program.

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A truck carrying a tank of 6,000 gallons whiskey overturned in New Jersey, and then the liquor caught fire. Firefighters were able to use foam to extinguish the blaze and much of the liquor just flowed into the gutter. At Jersey Shore, flags were lowered to half staff.

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UNC leading scorer’s P.J. Hairston was charged with marijuana possession following a traffic stop in Durham, N.C. Really? You’re a Tar Heel and you do something illegal in Durham? About as smart as speeding near Fenway Park wearing a Yankees Cap.

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A judge tossed a suit by PA’s governor alleging that taking scholarships from Penn State will result in a market-wide anticompetitive effect, such that the “nation’s top scholastic football players” would be unable to obtain a Division 1 scholarship.” Uh, right, because Penn State was only taking student-athletes who had no other offers.

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Wonder how many of the people screaming about the NSA getting Americans’ telephone records are the same ones screaming that the government should have been keeping close track on the Boston bombers.

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A JetBlue flight from White Plains, NY to Fort Myers, FL was diverted to JFK after a bird strike this morning. No injuries were reported. Well, except for the bird.

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Almost 20 years ago today.

October 2, 2012

19 years ago today, the SF Giants needed to win their 104th game of the year against the LA Dodgers to reach the postseason. Whatever you say about Barry Zito, he’s no Salomon Torres.

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Bummer ending for Dodgers fans. That may be the last time many of them stick around for the ninth inning.

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Of the teams with the seven highest payrolls in MLB, not counting the Dodgers after their big trade, four of them didn’t make the playoffs this year. (Yes, Phillies, Red Sox, Angels and Marlins, I’m talking about you.)

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Bristol Palin is on DWTS again? She wasn’t even a star the first time. Guess she really wants to show young girls that becoming a teen mom can ruin your life.

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A video of Paul Ryan in 2011 has him saying “70% of Americans want the American Dream. Only 30 % want the welfare state.” Does that mean Mitt figures 17% of Americans got lazier in the past year?

 

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NY  GM Brian Cashman said he would like the team to win its 28 World Series as one last gift to his late father, who was a big fan and passed away in September. “How sweet” said children of Yankee fans. “Oh STFU,” said children of Cubs fans.

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MLB has said it could be FRIDAY until game times for Saturday are announced.   Basically so they can assure that NY will be in primetime.  Yankees suck!

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Mitt Romney said today he would honor the temporary visas President Obama granted to some illegal immigrants. Some conservatives were up in arms, others just laughed and decided to wait for next week.

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Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones said today last night’s loss “I couldn’t be more disappointed.” And Cowboys fans said “Well, unless you paid your hard-earned money for tickets to that debacle.”

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New Orleans Hornets basketball player Lance Thomas says he doesn’t think he violated any NCAA rules when he bought almost $100,000 in diamond jewelry during his Duke college career. What’s his defense? “It was Duke, didn’t everybody?”

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Ohio State and TCU have signed up to play a “home and home” football series in 2018-19. Of course the way the Big Ten has been playing lately, maybe it’s TCU who considers the Buckeyes “the Little Sisters of the Poor.”

 

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Rough week for American Airlines, now with a flight from Chicago to London needing to divert to Shannon because of a “smoky odor” coming from an overheated fan. Stand by for the merged United-Continental Airlines’ new motto – “We suck less.”

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A fire damaged a home in Berkeley, CA and resulted in an entire block losing power after a seagull flew into a power line. Wonder how long it will take residents to protest having power lines where birds can fly into them.

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From Marc Ragovin:   The Bikini Basketball League is gearing up for its inaugural season. Fans will be rooting for strings of wins, and losses of strings.

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Missed them by that much.

October 1, 2012

Heard Tony Romo threw a tantrum after the Monday Night Football game. The tantrum was picked off by the Bears and returned for a touchdown.

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Who did Romo think he was Monday night?  Brett Favre?

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NY Jets owner Woody Johnson said it was more important to him that Romney win than his team have a winning season. Curiously enough, many Republicans are about as happy with Mitt as the candidate as Jets fans are with Mark Sanchez as their QB.

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A 19-year old is recovering in a Southern California hospital after he fell 60 ft off the side of a water slide at Six Flags Hurricane Harbor. Allegedly he jumped the line, barged past lifeguards and leaped head-first instead of feet-first onto the slide. Somewhere Darwin is thinking “Missed it by THAT much.”

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Paul Ryan, lowering expectations about Wednesday:   President Barack Obama’s  “done these kinds of debates before. This is Mitt’s first time on this kind of a stage.”   Does that mean even Ryan couldn’t bear to watch the GOP Primary debates?

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This line noticed by the SF Chronicle’s Debra J. Saunders in Arnold Schwarzenegger’s autobiography:  “Maria and I are very different in that way. She grew up in a world where a sharp line was drawn between friends and the help. With me, there is almost no line.”

You can say that again.

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Okay, the man challenging Nancy Pelosi for her Congressional seat is running an ad comparing Pelosi to a zombie. How silly. Beside the “wtf” nature of the comparison, zombies have more facial expressions.

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Kobe Bryant, 34, said today he got a question earlier about whose team the Lakers are: “I don’t want to get into the, ‘Well, we share …’ No, it’s my team”. Wonder if Tiger Woods, 36, would have said it was HIS Ryder Cup team.

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American Airlines says a Boston-to-Miami flight needed to make an emergency landing at JFK airport over the weekend when a row of seats became loose. Standby later this week for the new “seat bolt” fee.

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NY Jets coach Rex Ryan is still saying that Mark Sanchez at QB “gives us our best opportunity to win.” If true his comments should be great for ticket sales – for the Knicks.

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The 2013 Oscars ceremony will be hosted by “Family Guy” creator Seth MacFarlane. By making this choice five months in advance the Academy is giving themselves plenty of time to pre-write those “Sorry you were offended” emails and letters.

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Mitt Romney is hard at work preparing for Wednesday’s debates. His latest challenge, how to blame the U.S. Ryder Cup challenge on Obama.

(Jim Barach says  “Blame it on Furyk’s caddy Fluff for not knowing how to perform the Heimlich Maneuver.”)

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The Yankees now have a one-game lead in the NL East,  but the way the new playoff system is set up, if the Baltimore Orioles somehow win the East, the NY Yankees, as a wildcard, could be out of the postseason by Friday. Bud Selig is trying to see how quickly he might be able to change the rules.

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Although tonight it was 9-0 Yankees-Red Sox in the third. Boston isn’t just mailing it in, they’re FedExing it in.

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Letdown?

September 17, 2012

Wonder how many viewers tuned into tonight’s  49er-Lions game and were secretly disappointed by the relative lack of violence? Especially between the Jim Harbaugh and Jim Schwartz.

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Jim Harbaugh tonight borrowed Molly Ivins’ line about Ann Richards to praise his QB Alex Smith, saying he was “tougher than a two-dollar steak.”   And a Golden Corral Restaurants spokesman said,  “Hey, what did we ever do to you?”

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Chicago Mayor Rahm Emanuel says he will go to court to force teachers back to work. Which means either he thinks the union has gone too far, or he realizes children don’t vote.

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Have to wonder if the Cowboys will feel the same sense of urgency this week in signing that long term contract with Tony Romo?

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The Patriots fell at home to the Arizona Cardinals. Frustrated New England fans are wondering if they can blame it on Bobby Valentine?

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Dwight Howard in an ESPN interview to air tonight” That’s one of the lessons that I learned, you know. I can’t make everybody happy.” Here’s a hint, Dwight, if you can’t make up your mind, you don’t make anyone happy.

(Even Lebron James is saying,  “Hey, bro, at least I made a decision.”)

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Reggie Bush had such a good day, wonder if we should expect Kim Kardashian to reconsider?

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A new study has 7 signs of being a “shopaholic,” One supposed sign “You experience a rush of excitement when you buy.” Of course there’s a name for people like that, they’re called “women.”

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“I am not a witch” Christine O’Donnell, is considering another run for Senate in 2014, saying “I think I owe that to my supporters.” Not to mention the nation’s struggling comedy writers.

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Love these “bombshells.” The National Enquirer has a headline story about Malia and Sasha’s private school, saying 71% of students said they have attended parties where drugs or alcohol available. Wow. Would guess in most high schools it’s closer to 100%. (And wonder if that counted their parents’ parties.

(as a friend says,  well, that means 29% percent of the kids have already learned how to lie.)

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Stanford’s number 9?! Okay, not too bad after barely beating San Jose State and beating that other California team by a touchdown.

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My favorite statistic from last night’s Stanford-USC game: As the clock ran out in the first half with the Cardinal protecting against a Hail Mary, Curtis McNeal ran for 30 yards. Without that the Trojans would have been in minus numbers for net rushing.

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Netanyahu said today that the U.S. must establish a clear “red line” that Iran cannot cross with its nuclear program if it wants to avoid war. Sometimes I wonder, does the PM realize Americans are not electing a President of Israel?

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Another statement on Libya: “This is a time when we all should reflect on those who continue to give, even the last measure, of service and sacrifice, to promoting and defending America’s interests abroad. This is above all a reminder that politics should end at the water’s edge.” From Jon Huntsman, proving again why he was too sane to make it through the GOP primary.

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Riddle me this…

January 1, 2012

Why do Dallas Cowboys fans have the biggest flat screen televisions?

Because for years they haven’t had to waste money on playoff tickets.

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And yes, for the third time in four years, the Dallas Cowboys will not be in the playoffs. No punchline, I just like writing this.

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Newt Gingrich is now blaming his fall in the Iowa polls on being “Romney-boated.” After blaming his failure to get enough signatures to be on the Virginia ballot on a staffer’s fraud. If this GOP nomination thing doesn’t work out, Gingrich has a great chance of being hired to lobby for the California Whine Industry.

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Contrary to popular belief God did not desert Tebow today. He just watched the Raiders play defense and decided to save His energy for a day Tim actually needed His help.

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Rick Santorum, who is criticizing Romney in his TV ads for being too liberal, endorsed Mitt in the 2008 GOP presidential primaries as the “clear conservative candidate.” Who knew – Romney’s flip-flopping is turning out to be contagious.

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How can Aaron Rodgers hope to win the MVP when he may not even be the best QB on his own team?

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Newt Gingrich said Mitt Romney would buy the presidency if he could. And Mitt allegedly tried to bet him $10,000 that wasn’t true.

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Okay, you know your team doesn’t have much of a football reputation when…. Overhead at San Francisco Airport, which is full of people in red – one pilot telling another “So much red, must be a lot of Wisconsin Rose Bowl fans.” Not exactly. Go Stanford Cardinal!

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Locals in the Phoenix area seem very supportive of Stanford. But makes sense Cardinal/Cardinals, whatever…. they’re just pleased to see a team in red actually playing in the postseason.

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Lebron James is engaged to his longtime girlfriend, Savannah Brinson, after proposing last night. Well, at least one of them now has a ring.

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In Coventry, England, a display model of Apple’s Siri apparently told a child to “Shut the f*ck up” Many frequent travelers heard this story and hoped that’s what happens when you put the phone in airplane mode.

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Such a deal.

September 14, 2011

A “Living Social” deal in the SF Bay Area today allows people to buy $20 worth of food at Whole Foods for $10. Cool. That’s enough to buy at least three or four pieces of fruit.

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An article in the Atlantic estimates that employees playing Angry Birds is costing employers $1.6 billion a year in lost productive time. And just imagine how much more time is lost by employees posting this kind of story.

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On a radio show Tuesday, Cowboys owner Jerry Jones declined to criticize his QB, saying he thought Romo “played one of the best games I’ve ever seen him play.” Jones will get no argument from New York Jets fans.

Looks like we’ve made it – college football division. The NCAA found Boise State guilty of numerous violations for prospective and enrolled student athletes (with the football violations totalling 63 young men “over a lengthy period of time.”)

The athletic department has lost scholarships and was put on three-years probation, but the only post-season ban will be a year for the women’s tennis team. Yeah, that’ll teach them.

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Only one week into the NFL season, and many fans and those in the media are already writing off several quarterbacks. But knowledgeable fans are waiting for the real sign of desperation – the first team to contact JaMarcus Russell.

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According to the NY Post, Baseball commissioner Bud Selig is “irate” that the Mets went public wih news that his office had prevented players from wearing NYPD and NYFD caps on Sept. 11. Makes sense. Selig would rather the world not know when he behaves like a jerk.

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The Boston Red Sox got off to one of their worst starts ever, then looked great for about 100 games. And now, although they won tonight, Boston is dancing on the edge of one of the potential worst collapses in major league baseball history. Amazing. Even Mitt Romney is more consistent.

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Dick Cheney said during an appearance on “The View” today, that he hadn’t decided whether he wants a heart transplant. Wonder why the former V.P. is even thinking of a new heart now. He’s survived this long without one.

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A special election in Anthony Weiner’s heavily Democratic congressional district went to a Republican, this after a May special election in a heavily Republican district in upstate NY went to a Democrat. The talk is whether or not these elections are referendums on Obama. But it seems even more likely that New Yorkers are saying they are just fed up with Congress.

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TaylorsGift.org was inspired by a 13 year old girl who died in a skiiing , and became an organ donor for five people. It’s a great site to help people register as organ donors, and in fact in all seriousness I encourage any reader who hasn’t signed up for organ donation to do so. (I have done so myself).

But Taylorsgift is now running commercials geared towards young people saying “In less than 90 seconds you can become a hero by becoming a registered organ donor” with “just a few clicks.” Yeah, and if you do it while driving, you can become a donor sooner.

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Okay, I’m not generally a big defender of Gov. Rick Perry. But he is getting slammed by Palin and Bachmann and others for signing a Texas law requiring sixth-grade girls to be vaccinated for HPV, a sexually-transmitted virus that can cause cervical cancer. And the same people criticizing him are against mandated health care for girls and women with cervical cancer.

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And regarding those in the debate audience who seemed in favor of letting the 30 year old without health insurance die, well, now we know. They’re against government death panels because THEY want to be the death panels.

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Going Gaga.

February 13, 2011

So after the Grammys will Lady Gaga’s “Born This Way” album be retitled “Hatched this Way?”

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And some of these acts must be making the younger generation of viewers think –  they’re called the Grammys because only your Grammy has heard of some of these acts.

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Since when did part of the purpose of the Grammys become making whatever stars wear to the Oscars look good?

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So if the Grammys are really a huge national event and championship for the music industry, how come no one sang the National Anthem?

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On the other hand, maybe the music industry wanted a night where no one forgot the words.

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Tiger Woods shot a 75 and ended up 20th in Dubai. Who won? Yeah, I don’t care either.

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John Boehner says the facts say President Obama is a Christian and a citizen. But he added that “it’s not not my job to tell the American people what to think.” Actually, these days, the GOP seems to prefer that people NOT think.

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Tonight’s Washington Wizards game against the Cavaliers in Cleveland:. The perfect appetizer for all those who couldn’t wait for the March Madness play-in game.’

Well Cleveland Cavaliers fans, that winning streak was great while it lasted.

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Another sorry sidelight to the Christopher Lee  – aka the Craiglist Congressman – saga.  The guy was vain enough to lie about his age by seven years (said he was 39 instead of 46), but still stupid enough to use his real name?

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For anyone dreading Valentine’s day, as my friend Dan McCarthy points out, it is only one more day until “Cheap Candy Day.” 

(And okay, February 15 is maybe not quite as good as November 1,but the cheap stuff on the 15th is prettier.)

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And commie-pinko time:   Okay, while they say their top priority is eliminating abortions, the GOP wants to cut about $750 million from the “Special Supplemental Nutrition Program for Women, Infants & Children” (WIC). So can someone explain to me how you can be “pro-life” but anti-feeding pregnant mothers, and the kids once they’re born?

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It’s never easy.

February 12, 2011

The Tea Party’s success has Republicans really bickering amongst themselves. Who do they think they are?  Democrats?

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In the movie “Just Go With It,” Adam Sandler ends up in major trouble for pretending he is divorced, when he isn’t even married.  GOP leaders are thinking that it’s a shame that former Congressman Christopher Lee didn’t see an advance screening.

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Redskins DT tackle Albert Haynesworth has been formally charged with assault stemming from a road rage incident earlier this month. Haynesworth plans to call the Washington coaching staff as defense witnesses. They will testify that this year Albert seemed incapable of really hitting anyone.

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The city of Arlington has now released records indicating that they advised the Dallas Cowboys five MONTHS in advance that they needed permits for temporary seating. And the team didn’t start the approval process until mid January. Sounds like Dallas was as well prepared to host the Super Bowl as they were to play in it.

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And as of this blog posting, Tiger Woods is in contention at the Dubai Desert Classic. 

Okay, anyone need any more proof that for most Americans golf is a one man game?   This is the weekend of the A.T and T Pro-Am in Pebble Beach, one of the most iconic golf tournaments in the country….and we care about the Dubai Desert Classic?

With all due respect, if Tiger weren’t using the tournament to attempt his latest comeback, most of us wouldn’t even know there WAS a Dubai Desert Classic.

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Despite allegations that the Catholic church shelters its own, in Los Angeles, a 74 year priest was removed from his position by the Archdiocese. He had admitted having a sexual relationship with a high school girl starting in 1960. Because his lover was in high school when he was 23? Or because she was a girl?

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How rough is it this year for the Washington Wizards, with an 0-25 record on the road? Now they get to travel to Cleveland to play the Cavaliers while they’re hot.

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Arnold Schwarzenegger is going back to making movies. Which is probably a good thing, with all the money the former Governor will earn (and pay taxes on), the state of California can go back to actually benefiting from his crappy performances.

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From reader Keith Hillyard: 

I see that Tanya Harding is pregnant. When the kid finds out who his mother is, his first words will be, “Why me?”

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The Blame Game?

February 9, 2011

Michelle Obama has announced that her husband has quit smoking. Wonder how long it will take the GOP to accuse the President of contributing to unemployment in the tobacco industry?

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Taco Bell has been fighting back against a lawsuit that says the “seasoned ground beef” in its menu items doesn’t contain enough beef meat. And as a gesture of thanks the chain is offering a free Crunchy Beef Taco to its first 10 million Facebook fans.  Ten million tacos?!  Wow.  That’s almost a ton of meat.

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The Tea Party is coming out with a new magazine to express their anti-government platform – the Tea Party Review. But how are they going to deliver it? Surely not by the U.S. Post Office.

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Coach Sean Payton says he is committed to the Saints but he isnownow relocating his family back to their home town of Dallas from New Orleans. This might be the closest Jerry Jones comes to having a Super Bowl winning coach in Dallas.

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One sentence to sum up what kind of winter it’s been. “On Monday, Mark Wilson won the frost-delayed Phoenix Open.”

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A recent GE study looking at the disconnect between patients and their doctors said 28% of Americans say they sometimes lie or omit facts when talking to their health care provider about their care. And the other 72 % lie to survey takers.

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The Los Angeles Lakers have now joined the negotiations to get Carmelo Anthony from the Denver Nuggets. Apparent object – how to take back the title “Most hated team in America” from the Miami Heat.

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Former Republican Senate candidate Christine O’Donnell of Delaware has sent out a fundraising letter claiming she was the “White House’s”  top opponent in 2010. In related news, the Cleveland Cavaliers have sent out a letter to their fans with a special offer to buy potential playoff tickets.

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So now the story comes out that the NFL knew there was a potential problem with Super Bowl tickets, but kept quiet in hopes of the new seats being ready in time. And why would they have any reason to suspect Cowboys owner Jerry Jones of over-reaching ambition?

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And apropos of nothing except regarding that old chestnut “size matters.”  Population of  Green Bay -about 102,000.  Number of people who in one way or another got crammed into Cowboys Stadium Sunday?  About 103,000.

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From Marc Ragovin: A recent article said that the vast majority of New York City high school graduates are unprepared to succeed in college. In response, a group of exasperated students said “We ain’t?”

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Don’t ask…

November 13, 2010
 (and don’t ask why the font is messed up tonight,  I think it’s gremlins.)
 
Anyway…
 
Cindy McCain has come out publicly in a video supporting gays’ right to serve in the U.S. Armed Forces, while her husband leads the Senate fight to maintain the status quo. Guessing that “What did you do today, honey?” conversations at the dinner table have given way to “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.”–

This weekend, Americans looking for escapist entertainment can watch a runaway train hurtling straight for disaster. And after the Cowboys game against the Giants, there’s also the movie “Unstoppable.”

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Jerry Jones stated that while he hopes interim coach Jason Garrett does well enough to earn a permanent position with the Cowboys, he had “Super Bowl-winning coaches solicit this job.” Really? I thought it was only NFL players, not sideline staff, who were getting those damaging concussions.

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Brett Favre said the 2011 is definitely his last. Right, and the newly elected Congress will definitely cut spending.

(and the Cowboys are going to the Super Bowl and the 49ers are going to the playoffs, etc…)

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Carnival Cruise Lines may have offer some big discounts next week to entice travelers who might have been scared off by this week’s events. Once they figure out what to title the promotion. Already vetoed – “Fire sale.”

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Former President Clinton gave up a thumbs up review to George W. Bush’s memoir “Decision Points,” and says everyone should read it. Of course Bill figures then that Americans will miss him more than ever.

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The Miami Heat, despite the presence of Lebron James and his friends Chris Bosh and Dwayne Wade, are only 5-4, which puts them on track to be one of the most over-hyped and over-rated teams of all time. Now all they need is to change their uniform to include pinstripes.

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Okay women friends and readers, how do you like this quote? It’s from David Lee, who plays basketball for the Golden State Warriors, about his infected elbow that will need surgery? “I know, I know, it’s an elbow scratch, but I was in the worst pain of my life, Now I know what it feels like to give birth”

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“Dancing With the Stars” Judge Carrie Ann Inaba told People magazine that she has a theory why the young woman, who is a relatively mediocre dancer, is in the semi-finals. 

Inaba stated  “Bristol Palin is somebody that I think most of Middle America and regular people can relate to. She is a regular girl with normal problems and issues” and as a result, people can see themselves in her.

Yeah, exactly, regular people get pregnant at 16, have their mom run for national office and have their engagement/breakup/engagement/breakup documented in exclusive interviews with major magazines.  I can see how Middle America would relate.

And don’t all teen moms have day care available anytime they want to give interviews, make speeches and go on reality shows??

 

   

 

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Boise State has a string of three nationally televised Friday night games in a row.  Tonight the Broncos destroyed Idaho 52-14, next week they take on Fresno State, and the following week Nevada.

Not that Boise State isn’t a good team, but shouldn’t this series of games be referred to as “Friday Night Lightweights.

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Bits and pieces.

November 10, 2010

A particularly random collection of thoughts tonight:

First a little NBA news:  The New Orleans Hornets are undefeated.   And tonight’s score from South Beach  – Utah 116 – Miami 114.

Maybe Lebron should have taken his talents to South Louisiana. Or the South Shore of Salt Lake.

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The latest from Alaska, which may soon change their state slogan to “And you thought Florida was weird”:

Joe Miller, the Republican tea party candidate who may have lost to Senator Lisa Murkowski and her write-in campaign, is now filing a lawsuit to invalidate ballots where “Murkowski” was spelled incorrectly.

Um, excuse me, if being able to spell correctly was any sort of  requirement in politics,  this country would never have elected George W.

(or for that matter, Dan Quayle.)

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Charlie Sheen is dismissing concerns about his New York hotel room meltdown, saying it was just “one bad night.” Yeah, by that standard, the Titanic only had “one bad night.”

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Dallas Cowboys fans who visit the team’s website were out of luck for a couple days. According to the Dallas Morning News, the team forgot to renew the dallascowboys.com domain, and the site was left blank. It’s that attention to detail that has made the Cowboys what they are today.

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Regarding New York’s contract negotiations with Derek Jeter, a source purportedly with “intimate knowledge” of the discussions told ESPN – “The Yankees are going to overpay him.” That’s “intimate knowledge”? The Yankees overpay everybody.

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You never know when there might be a silver lining.  Think of the schools who might have dropped out early in the recruiting battle for Auburn quarterback Cam Newton when the price seemed too high.

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Meanwhile at USC they are shocked?  Some other school actually might have outbid them?

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The latest allegations have Newton telling a Mississippi State recruiter that the Auburn “money was too much.”

Who knew that one of the main differences between the NFL and NCAA football might be that the NFL has a salary cap.

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(In all semi-seriousness I can see where this could be going.  Since it’s just rumors at this point, the young quarterback leads Auburn to a top ten season and a  BCS bowl. Fans have a great time.  Then when more details come out the school “forfeits” their wins and goes on probation.   And Newton signs a big NFL contract.   Yeah, that’ll teach them.  

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Go figure, in San Francisco just about anyone can get a medical marijuana prescription. But heaven help you now if you decide to satisfy the munchies with a small cheeseburger and fries and want a free toy to go with that.

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Carnival Cruise Lines’ new slogan? “When you’re hot, you’re hot.”

Or maybe “Row, row, row your boat.”

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It could be worse for those stranded passengers on the Carnival Splendor.  Kathy Lee Gifford could be stuck on board with them.

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Well,  Bristol Palin may not be the most talented on Dancing with the Stars, but at least she has proven she’s not a clone of her mother.  The competition is more than halfway over, and Bristol hasn’t quit yet.

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Meanwhile, Bristol’s mother is battling yet another member of the “liberal media,” this time calling out a reporter, Sudeep Reddy, who questioned her knowledge about inflation, or rather the lack thereof.  Palin accused him of “not reading his own paper.”   Except two things – first, Sarah misquoted the article in question, and second, this liberal paper Reddy writes for  is  the Wall Street Journal.

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Orange haze…

November 6, 2010

Orange Haze:  That’s what happened to most SF Giants’ fans October.   (How did it get to be November already?)

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When a Dallas radio station asked Jerry Jones if Wade Phillips will finish the season as Cowboys coach, the team owner responded – “Yes.” Of course, the way things are going, the Cowboys’ season will be officially over in about two weeks. 

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Two players on the New England Patriots were fined by the NFL for their hits last week on Brett Favre. In addition, they may be charged with elder abuse.

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Now that they’ve won the World Series, the SF Giants will eventually end up making a trip to Washington D.C. to meet President Obama.  And Aubrey Huff will almost certainly end up bringing his red sequined rally thong. Which will be thus become the most famous thong in the White House since… oh, do I even need to finish this one?

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With a 96-93 victory, the New Orleans Hornets took their turn tonight at being part of what will become one of the most popular headlines in America this fall and winter outside of Miami – “”Fill-in-the-blank-team’ CAN beat the Heat.”

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Zenyetta, the super mare who is 19-0 and will finish her racing career in the Breeder’s Cup Classic on Saturday, is apparently a Guinness fan, which she will drink from a bowl. 

In fact, the brewery has invited the mare and her trainer to Dublin for her favorite beer fresh from the tap if she wins the race.

If she does win, however, does this mean Guinness could be classificed as a performance enhancing drug?

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R.I.P Jill Clayburgh  My favorite lines from “Silver Streak,”, in which she plays a woman being hit on in the bar car by a drunk jerk:

“Are you hot?
  What?
  I said, are you hot?                 
  Lady, I am always hot.             
  Maybe I can cool you down.”

And she pours an iced drink down his pants.

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All these writers and media types talking about the Giants dumping their World Series MVP Edgar Renteria…. Makes a good story but it’s WRONG. All the Giants did was decline to pay him  the club option $10.5 million for next year.

Renteria, who at most would play part-time, can still sign with SF at a reduced price, and may well do so if he doesn’t retire.

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A colloborative effort mostly written by Bill Littlejohn:    Recently “to honor America,” Major League Baseball has been playing “God Bless America” during the seventh inning stretch of playoff games.

So wonder if next year the SF Giants will honor their ace pitcher Tim Lincecum by playing “Toke me out to the ball game.”

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Halloween destiny?

November 1, 2010

When you think about it, orange and black should rule on Halloween. Go Giants. 

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Actually “Day of the Dead” is Monday in Mexico. But it sure described the Rangers’ hitters on Sunday night.

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George H.W. Bush and George Bush came in on a cart to throw out the game four first pitch. From left field. Might be only time in their life they were on the left of anything.

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The only bad part of a glorious night for Madison Bumgarner and Buster Posey? The game got over so late they missed trick or treating.

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Buster Posey says he’s been a “baseball fan since I was little.”

What was that, last week?

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Okay, how bizarre is this? “The Simpsons” and Madison Bumgarner are the same age. Both born in 1989.

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Nothing against “God Bless America.” But requiring it at EVERY 7th inning in the post-season is making me root for the Toronto Blue Jays in 2011.

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Robocalls are stupid at the best of times. Robocalls during the World Series are a good way to get voters to vote against your candidate or cause.

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Remember that story about the construction worker burying a Red Sox jersey in the concrete at Yankee Stadium?  (The shirt was found and removed after the story leaked out.)

You have to wonder, who successfully buried what in the concrete at the new Cowboys stadium?

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Today’s sloppy game between the 49ers and Broncos in London did do one thing for British sports fans.  Helped convince them that they are right to have soccer as their national sport.

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A quote I remembered watching clips of the Jon Stewart rally, from Lucy Van Pelt of Peanuts.  Who knew Charles Schultz might so accurately predict today’s political climate:

“If you can’t be right, be wrong at the top of your voice.”

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The 0-7 Bills have lost their last two games in overtime.  Shame they aren’t in the NHL – forcing overtime but losing the game still gets you a point!

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Kryptonite in the rosin bag?

October 28, 2010

It’s as good an explanation as any for what happened to Cliff Lee of the Rangers Wednesday night.

Not that Tim Lincecum had that great an evening.   Whoever said “Nothing beats a pair of aces” forgot to tell Giants and Rangers hitters before World Series game one.

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Cliff Lee came into the 2010 World Series with a 7 and 0 postseason record and a postseason ERA somewhere around 1.  And he gave up seven runs, six earned, in four and two-thirds innings.

This was the most disappointing performance out of Texas since …when did the Cowboys play again?

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(Speaking of which, if you go to the Dallasnews.com site, run by Dallas’s top paper, the Dallas Morning News, there are several categories to click on  – one is sports, another is Cowboys.)

Or in another vein  – Lee’s performance was the most disappointing by a Texan on the national stage since George W. Bush was president.

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Just how odd was tonight?  The Giants scored 11 runs tonight. Exactly their total in the four game ALCS in Atlanta.

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And not to say that the aging Vladimir Guerrero looked like he didn’t belong in right field, (two errors),  but the idea looked about as logical as using Bengie Molina as a pinch-runner.

And reactions to watching Lincecum might depend on what side you are on for Prop 19 – legalizing marijuana:

Those against it, figured maybe his spacey performance in the first couple innings were a reason to vote no.

Those for it – “hey, thanks to whoever gave Timmy a brownie after the second.”

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Meg Whitman says she is standing by her decision not to pull negative ads. Why stop now? As the polls show, those expensive ads have been working so well for her….

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President Obama said on the Daily Show that his adminstration has done “an awful lot.”  Well, however you feel about that statement, they did sure come into a lot of awful.

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Bill Littlejohn, after a Maine Coon Cat named Stewie was measured at 4 feet long and recognized by Guinness as the world’s longest cat: “The previous record was how long it took Terry Bradshaw to spell cat.”

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(And for those who’ve always wondered, or never wondered, about the history Guinness World Book of Records,  it DID start out as a way to settle arguments in pubs, in fact, as a giveaway by Guinness Brewery.)

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Cornerback Perrish Cox of the Denver Broncos suffered a blow to the head during the third quarter of the Broncos 59-41 loss to the Raiders, and it completely wiped out his memory of the entire game. Denver fans wish they could say the same thing.

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“Mama, don’t let your babies grow up to be Cowboys.”

October 26, 2010

 

At least not in Dallas these days.

It’s late October, and the SF Giants and Texas Rangers prepare to meet up in the World Series.  After NFL week seven, the  SF 49ers and Dallas Cowboys have something in common too – one win each.

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What makes Cowboys fans madder? The fact that Romo hasn’t been that effective and is now out for the season. Or the fact that there is really no way they can blame this one on Jessica Simpson.

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Bad officiating may have cost both the Miami Dolphins and Minnesota Vikings wins last weekend.  Who do these refs think they are – MLB umpires?

(Actually on a serious note, for fans of instant replay, both mistakes, one on a disputed fumble that the Dolphins appeared to have recovered, and the other on a touchdown the Vikings receiver appeared to have caught, WERE reviewed and were still probably called wrongly. )

Since Benjie Molina played two months with the San Francisco Giants before he was traded to the Texas Rangers, he gets a ring no matter who wins.

Speaking of which, have heard Brett Favre just made another call, to Kobe Bryant for the name of his jeweler.

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Question of the day. If most sports fans agree that “good pitching beats good hitting,” why is everyone so shocked that the Phillies batted .216 in the NLCS?

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A-Rod was apparently been partying with Lebron James down in Miami. Well, makes sense they should be palling around – the Yankees are out and the Heat are playing preseason games. Hard to tell which of them has been more irrelevant this month.

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An article in the Wall Street Journal says that Giants ace Tim Lincecum looks like he is 14 years old. Not true. Lincecum looks like he is 16 at least. Now, catcher Buster Posey, he looks like he is 12.

Only 5 out of 27 picked the Rangers to beat the Rays. However, one of them picked the Rangers not only to win the ALCS but, and believe it or not, picked them to win the WS as well. That person was Amy Nelson. She is either

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About one week before the election. And is anyone else about at the point of saying “I don’t care what party you are from or what cause you are for, if you ‘robocall’ me I am going to vote against you?

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Meg Whitman is warning of dire economic consequences should Californians elect Jerry Brown.  Well, there will be one consequence for sure – the state’s media businesses losing over $100 million a year from Meg’s self-funded campaign.

Meg Whitman begins her new ad: “I know many of you see this election as an unhappy choice between a longtime politician with no plan for the future and a billionaire with no government experience,”

And in Nevada with Sharron Angle running against Harry Reid, a lot of folks say to California “we’ll trade you.”

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commie pinko time below.

Carly Fiorina is running a television ad saying “I’m prepared to oppose my party when it’s wrong ad.”

On October 11, 2002, the Senate voted 77-23 to authorize President Bush to attack Iraq. One of those 23 was Barbara Boxer.

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Weekend postmortem.

October 18, 2010

A thought regarding this Brett Favre alleged “sexting” controversy: it’s a good thing that camera cell phones weren’t around when Joe Namath was with the Jets. 

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And to anyone who says “Character matters” to fans in the NFL, I  give you Ben Roethlisberger, loudly cheered in his return from his four game suspension. Wonder how many of those happy fans have college-age daughters.

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Owner Jerry Jones said that despite the Dallas Cowboys’ 1-4 start there won’t be any midseason firings.  Executions, maybe.

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Meanwhile, the previously  0-4 Carolina Panthers had their best week of the season. It was a bye-week.

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Giants baseball may be torture. Raiders-49ers football is just plain ugly.

Anyone want a reason to root for the Giants and Rangers to make it to the World Series?  Here’s one:  Because Fox really really wants a Yankees-Phillies matchup.

And reason number 2.  – the Giants’ and Rangers’ payrolls together barely equal the Phillies (less if you don’t count Zito, who isn’t on the playoff roster.)  And adding them together is still $50 million less than the Yankees.

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Cablevision subscribers in New York and Philadelphiat missed both Giants-Phillies baseball games, and the New York Giants football game due to a dispute between the cable company and News Corp (parent of Fox), that resulted in Fox channels being off the air for two days. 

Bummer, but if this is going to keep happening, many New York Cablevision customers are saying, “Can’t the next off-air disruption happen election night?”

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“Undercover Boss” tonight featured an airline CEO going undercover and even cleaning bathrooms. The premise is just a bit unbelievable…. airlines clean their bathrooms?

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In their Nevada Senate debate last week, Sharron Angle told Harry Reid to “man-up.” Now, I’m not a huge Reid fan, but can you imagine the reaction had he told Angle to “act like a lady?”  (Or even if he told her to “man-up?”)

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Meghan McCain said on ABC’s this week that Christine O’Donnell’s success scares her, because O’Donnell is “seen as a nutjob,” and “she is making a mockery of running for public office, with no real history, no real success in any kind of business.” Years from now we may decide the wrong McCain ran for president.

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Meghan also mentioned that O’Donnell had “no real success” in business.   Which brings to mind Carly Fiorina, whose resume is mixed, but at her last two jobs, HP CEO, and economic advisor to John McCain’s campaign, she was fired…

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from Bill Littlejohn:  “Reggie Jackson reportedly has an I.Q. of 160.When informed of this, Reggie said, ‘I’m the straw that stirs the think'”

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Football and other games.

September 21, 2009

Brett Favre led the Minnesota Vikings over the apparently still woeful Detroit Lions. Proving once again that “Age and treachery can overcome youth and lack of skill.”

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The Dallas Cowboys pronounced the opening game at their new stadium almost a success. It would have been a complete success had the Giants’ game winning field goal clanged off the scoreboard.

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Former President Bill Clinton will come out to California to campaign for San Francisco Mayer Gavin Newsom, who is running for Governor. Should we be surprised? Lets see, Newsom got caught in a high profile sex scandal, with his best friend’s wife no less, and then ended up marrying a beautiful blond actress. Rumor has it Clinton refers to him as “my hero.”

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Cuba has announced they want to become an eco-tourist destination. Does that mean they will want travellers to start arriving as well as departing on rafts?

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Whatever else you can accuse the “Tea Baggers” of, at least no one can say they spent too much time with their heads in history books. Since the Boston Tea Party was about taxation without representation. Since their primary issue is to be anti-healthcare, aren’t they complaining about too much representation?

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You do wonder, with the “Tea Baggers” anti-government attitude, does that mean they won’t sue if their bus crashes due to hitting an unfilled pothole on an interstate highway?
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Jon Stewart won two Emmy’s Sunday night for the Daily Show. Hope he remembered to thank the people who made this possible – Joe Biden, Sarah Palin, Mark Sanford…..

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