Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ category

Poopy heads?

December 13, 2016

Seattle Seahawks CB Richard Sherman, angry at the NFL’s scheduling of Thursday night games, referred to them as a “Poopfest.” Would that be the title of a potential 49ers Browns game?

As fans wait for the end of 49ers season, remember that SF was sure they could win without Jim Harbaugh. And they have, 6 times in 2 years.

Jim Harbaugh told Michigan players rumors of him returning to NFL are “lies spread by our enemies”. Will he next accuse  Putin of being an Ohio State fan?

Lebron James wore a discreet safety pin on his lapel for the SI Sportsman of the Year cover. You may not like Lebron on the court, you may not agree with his politics. But the guy is a great role model for celebrities who want to express political views with class. IMHO.

An American Airlines flight from Charlotte to San Francisco diverted with a mechanical problem to Phoenix for 5 1/2 hours. No word on compensation for passengers, especially on the most important question – “Do we get extra frequent flier miles?

From Bill Littlejohn : “Jennifer Lawrence is in a bit of hot water after relating a story in which she used sacred Hawaiian rocks to scratch her itching derriere.  .Butt Fumble II?”

But hey, maybe she just wants to date Mark Sanchez.

#GarthBrooks will apparently not be performing at #Trump‘s inaugural. Guess he doesn’t have friends in THAT low of places.

So how many reasons did #RickPerry give @realDonaldTrump to choose him as Secretary of Energy?

So why did Trump appoint Rick Perry Secretary of Energy?
Because there was no Secretary of Arithmetic?

President Obama today signed the “21st Century Cures Act”, a $6.3 billion bipartisan bill to fight cancer and streamline the FDA approval process for drugs and medical device. It also includes $1 billion for states to fight substance abuse and drug addiction.
Waiting for the Trump rebuttal.

At Trump Tower, Kanye West met w/ President-Elect Donald Trump this am to discuss becoming “an ambassador of sorts.”

At the Onion offices “We give up.”

 

No joke. The Trump transition team has asked ffor the DOE to “provide a list of all Department of Energy employees or contractors” who have “worked on climate change policy.”
We throw the term McCarthyism around, but this time it may have nothing to do with Russia. #Scary

(if mean bitch Karma  wants to unleash a tsunami in South Florida, a good place to aim at would be Mar A Lago)

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Someone is running for President in 2020…. Ohio Gov. John Kasich rejected the so-called “heartbeat bill” which would have banned abortions after about 6 weeks. He did sign a bill preventing abortions after 20 weeks. #verysmallmercies

In Oklahoma, a law passed this summer will require all public restrooms by January 2018 to have anti-abortion signs posted. Many businesses oppose the measure, not for the message, but because there is no funding and they say it is an unfair mandate that will cost them a total of $2.3 million for the signs. #priorities.

Unintended consequences

December 13, 2016

Becoming apparent to rest of NFL that Roger Goodell’s wrist slap over Deflategate has given Patriots a well rested QB for playoffs.

#Smartpeoplebeingstupid department  Amherst College has suspended their men’s cross country squad over an email chain that goes back to 2013 including  racist, sexist and homophobic insults.

Once again, in this day and age, isn’t the suspension not only for bad behavior,  but for also being arrogant and dumb enough to put that sort of nasty stuff in emails?

 

Lane Kiffin is going to be the next head football coach of Florida Atlantic. Could be a good fit, FAU is probably not on the NCAA radar for possible suspensions.

#Rams coach #JeffFisher has been fired with a 4-9 record. #49ers fans wonder if he was fired for over-achieving.

And actually at 4-9 the Rams have more wins than the 49ers, Jaguars and Browns put together.

That moment when you see a headline about two people who are obviously famous and you have no clue who they are: “Flip or Flop’ stars Tarek and Christina El Moussa separate.”

#Youcantmakethisstuffup Reports are now that Rick Perry is Trump’s top choice for Energy secretary. Back out in 2011, Energy was that third Department that the Texas governor forgot he wanted to eliminate.

 

Carnival Cruise Lines doesn’t allow passengers to bring bottles of liquids on board, but they started last year selling bottled water for $2.99 a 12-pack, then raised prices in March to $3.99, and now just raised them again to $4.50 plus gratuity. So what’s the real policy here – “Let Them Drink Beer”?

Gary Cohn has been named as director of the National Economic Council, making him the 3rd Goldman Sachs executive to join the Trump team.
Well, heck, since she was so tied during the election to those speeches, when is Trump going to find a role for Hillary Clinton?

Oil prices jumped today after several non-OPEC countries, including Russia, reached a deal to cut oil production. Where’s the furious angry tweet from our “populist” President-Elect?

 

Of course we will never get full agreement in this country on who was behind the hacked emails in this election. But, on the other hand, ALL the leaked emails were to embarrass and damage one candidate. Because the RNC and Trump campaign were so morally upright, or so much more technologically advanced? #whenyouhearhoofprintsthinkhorsesnotzebras

 

Sometimes it’s just as if Trump is a child in the sandbox thumbing his nose and going “Nyah, nyah, nee nyah nah”. The Donald yesterday on Secretary of State nominee Rex Tillerson – “a great advantage is he knows many of the players, and he knows them well. He does massive deals in Russia….

If two teams play in a forest….

December 12, 2016

Some disgruntled fan or fans paid for an airplane to fly over Levi’s Stadium before the not-so-much-anticipated 49ers Jets game today with a banner saying “Jed, you reap what you sow. Fire Baalke”
Clever. But for what it costs wouldn’t you think they’d have sent the plane somewhere where people would actually show up to see it?

 

When you lose 12 in a row it takes a certain amount of creativity. And the 49ers are clearly up to the task.

If the SF 49ers had only started sucking 1st game, could have gotten #1 draft pick out of it. But they’d probably loss coin toss w/ #Browns too.

 

The #Jets & #Giants won on the same Sunday? Hope this isn’t yet another sign of the apocalypse

Well, it would have been appropriate for the #Jets #49ers game to end in a tie. #Nobodywins

 

After their loss today to Atlanta,  Los Angeles RB Todd Gurley said his team was running what “looked like a middle school offense”   – Did the Rams steal the 49ers playbook?

The Stanford band’s most recent suspension will mean the LSJUMB won’t be traveling to the Sun Bowl in El Paso. Well, suppose it’s just as well not to anger a whole state full of people with guns.

Susan Olson, who played Cindy Brady in the 1970s, was fired from a LA talk radio job for sending a homophobic private FB message to a gay guest.
Shame, and she had such a great gay dad role model. #RobertReed

At the Nobel prize ceremony, which Bob Dylan did not attend, Patti Smith forgot the words to “A Hard Rain’s A-Gonna Fall” on her first attempts to sing it.
Of course had Dylan himself sung it no one would have been able to understand if he knew the words or not.

Donald Trump isn’t getting daily intelligence briefings, by choice. “I don’t have to be told — you know, I’m, like, a smart person. I don’t have to be told the same thing in the same words every single day for the next eight years.”
Can’t imagine how some people think Trump has Narcissistic Personality Disorder..,,

And don’t we all want to go to a doctor who didn’t need to go to class he or she is a “smart person”

 

Don’t come join this band?

December 11, 2016

The LSJUMB – aka the Stanford Band – has been suspended again, this time in large part for breaking “alcohol rules at gatherings.” Uh, okay, but did anyone really think the Stanford band can do what they do sober?

My friend Rich said that maybe the band like many alums doesn’t want to have to go to El Paso for the Sun Bowl either.

=

Navy lost to Army for the first time in 14 years. Can we blame Trump?

If there was real justice in tomorrow’s #Jets #49ers game both teams would find a way to lose. @NFL

December 11. .Means we’re less than a week away from the start of college bowl season. Although quick, name one team playing in one of the SIX bowls on the 17th.

 

Congrats to #Heisman winner #LamarJackson. Many didn’t know him before this season. To be fair how many knew #Louisville played football?

Got a Facebook ad today for a Hallmark Tony Romo Christmas tree ornament. Hmm. Assume it’s expensive but not as good as the cheaper  Dak Prescott ornament?

Trump at the Army-Navy game. “I don’t know if it’s necessarily the best football, but boy do they have spirit more than anybody.” Well, of course, unless Trump University played football, because then they would have the most spirit AND be the best.

 

Phrase I never thought I’d say. “Damn I wish Trump had put Romney in charge.”

So how did we become a country where millions accept what Breibart says as gospel but dismiss CIA as fake news?

Remember those innocent days when we thought W’s administration was as bad as it could get with oil company influence? #Tillerson

Patti Smith apparently forgot the lyrics when she tried to sing Bob Dylan’s A Hard Rain’s A-Gonna Fall at the Nobel Prize ceremony in Stockholm. But really, had she just mumbled could anyone tell?

 

 

Losing

December 10, 2016

 

On December 19th, Samsung will send out a software update to keep remaining Galaxy Note7s from charging at all. Although considering the publicity on the recall and the fact that the phones have been banned from flights, maybe Samsung could just leave the Note7 alone as an option for those aiming for a Darwin award.

Apparently a Cleveland Browns fan is planning a “Perfect Season Parade” if the team finishes 0-16. Wonder if the 1972 Miami Dolphins will show up and crack open a case of generic beer?

 

 

Bristol Palin is expecting her third child. Someone told her you could actually have a baby and be married first?

Among many things that hurt Hillary Clinton was the fact that many Americans are just tired of the same old same old families in politics. So of course it makes sense that Trump will appoint as RNC head Ronna Romney McDaniel.

 

 

The Wall Street Journal reports that the DOT is considering allowing passengers to talk on their cellphones in flight. Now if Trump wants REAL bipartisan agreement in this country he will issue an executive order against it.

 

While Spurs lost last night they won their first 13 games this season away from San Antonio. One of the best road to home scoring ratios since the younger days of Bill Clinton.

Donald Trump has picked his head of the White House National Economic Council, Gary Cohn, who is currently President of Goldman Sachs. All those folks who didn’t vote for Hillary Clinton over those speeches must feel so proud.

 

Trump said tonight that exit polls were rigged for Hillary. Can anyone imagine how the Donald would be if he actually LOST the election?

Just maybe MSNBC could have given Brian Williams the night off on this one? Tuesday night of this week the anchor said “Fake news played a role in this election and continues to find a wide audience,” #whythereisnosatire

 

NSA pick Michael Flynn last August, “I know from my friends in the Border Patrol in CBP that there are countries — radical Islamist countries, state-sponsored — that are cutting deals with Mexican drug cartels for some of what they call the ‘lanes of entry’ into our country, And I have personally seen the photos of the signage along those paths that are in Arabic. They’re like way points along that path as you come in. Primarily, in this case the one that I saw was in Texas and it’s literally, it’s like signs, that say, in Arabic, ‘this way, move to this point.’ It’s unbelievable.”

And over at the Onion some writers are going “I give up, can’t top this.”

Apparently Rudy Giuliani has “removed his name from consideration for any Cabinet post in the new administration.”
Because even Trump knows Rudy is bat-shit crazy?

 

Innocent until proven guilty. But imagine if Hillary had won & Canadian government was accused of influencing election against Trump.

Numbers and other games

December 9, 2016

Yeah, baseball is a business. But with some franchises, fans DO matter. And values. SF Giants GM Bobby Evans, saying their “hearts and minds were really focused on one guy,” (Mark Melancon)
SF never met with Chapman, Evans said the off-field stuff was “not lost on us.” The Giants knew many of their fans were strongly opposed to a Chapman deal. …

 

Former Baylor football coach Art Briles is now suing a school VP and 3 regents for libel and slander. He said falsely said he didn’t report assaults and alleged gang rapes even though he knew about them.
So his defense is, I’m not a douchebag, I’m just an idiot?

NFL says that the pending domestic violence investigation against star Cowboys RB Ezekiel Eliott is “active and ongoing.” And no doubt the league will get serious about the investigation the week after the Super Bowl.

Weather well below freezing for tonight’s #Chiefs #Raiders #TNF game. So coaches planning pre-game strategy had no need to call time-outs before field goals. Kickers already iced.

Mick Jagger, 73, and girlfriend Melanie Hamrick, have welcomed Jagger’s 8th child, a boy. I see a marketing opportunity for father-son diapers..

So sad about the Oakland “Ghost Ship” fire that killed 36 people. Now the city planning director says building hadn’t been inspected in 3 decades. But hey, who needs burdensome regulations?

Andy Puzder, Trump’s new Labor Secretary, and CEO of Carl’s Jr., is against raising the minimum wage to more than $9 an hour, and has said of using machines instead of humans “They’re always polite, they always upsell, they never take a vacation, they never show up late, there’s never a slip-and-fall, or an age, sex, or race discrimination case.”
Yeah, yet another thank you gift from Trump to his lower and working class voters.

So Trump’s EPA pick believes in not protecting the environment, and now his Labor pick believes in reducing # of workers. #consistency

Rep Steve King, attacking “dreamers.” The reason they’re called ‘dreamers’ because that’s the most sympathetic term that could be applied to people.Among all of these dreamers, there are some awfully bad people.”
No doubt. But there are some “awfully bad people” born here in the USA. Can we kick them out too?

 

Donald Trump will remain as an executive producer of Celebrity Apprentice. Which as CNN reports, means as President he will have an interest in a show aired by a media company that also reports on his presidency.”
What could possibly go wrong?

 

Maybe we can relax about serious news bias.  Maybe  Donald  Trump will only stay as executive producer at @NBC until he can get Alec Baldwin fired.

Trying to live in infamy?

December 7, 2016

Newt Gingrich tweeted today: “75 years ago the Japanese displayed professional brilliance and technological power launching surprises from Hawaii to the Philippines.”
Is Newt trying to prove he can be outrageous enough on Twitter to be in a Trump cabinet?

Joe Buck said in an interview that he once peed in a trash can while on-air covering a game. And millions of Americans are thinking “Big deal, we once threw up in a trash can while we were listening to you on-air covering a game.”

In a recent poll, 58% of NJ voters gave Chris Christie a “D” or “F”, while 3% gave him an “A.” Wonder what that 3% thought “A” stands for.

Orioles GM said the team is not pursuing Jose Bautista because Baltimore “fans don’t like him.” Well, that and maybe Bautista’s 2016 .234 batting average.

#ChristianMcCaffrey will enter the 2017 #NFL draft. Makes sense. He’s ready for a pro offense. Or if unlucky the 49ers or Browns.

 

Mets hitting coach Kevin Long said today “I won’t be surprised if @TimTebow makes the majors” Or at least the Phillies.

At new Amazon stores, customers will be able to “grab and go” while their purchases are scanned electronically. And of course those automatic charges work so well, as anyone who has ever dealt with a hotel minibar knows.

Royal Caribbean Cruises and Norwegian Cruise Line says they’ve received approval for cruising to Cuba. Trump may think he’s going change a lot of Obama’s policies… but heaven help him if he gets between middle-America and their cigars and rum.

There are reports Kim Kardashian wants a divorce from Kanye West. If true, can only imagine what Trump will have to tweet to grab the headlines.

So was anyone at #TimeMagazine tempted to send out fake news @realDonaldTrump WASN’T #PersonoftheYear, just to see his Twitter reaction?

In a recent poll, 58% of NJ voters gave Chris Christie a “D” or “F”, while 3% gave him an “A.” Wonder what that 3% thought “A” stands for.

 

At least when #ScottPruitt leaves Okla for #EPA it will be no longer be his problem to get federal funds for the state after future fracking-induced earthquakes.

 

So can any Trump supporter name one time when someone has criticized him and he responded with a reasonable or even apologetic tweet?

A report from “TheWrap” says Trump’s inaugural committee is having a hard time trying to get big name performers for his parties and balls. Time for a political remake of the movie “Indecent Proposal?”

To be fair to @realDonaldTrump over choice of #ScottPruitt for #EPA, maybe Trump just wanted to help US companies who sell bottled water.

Pruitt as head of #EPA makes some sense. If there’s clean water in our swamps Americans could see all of Trumps big new alligators

So if Trump was supposed to be candidate of Main Street over Wall Street how come the Dow has jumped over 1,200 points since the election?

MLB Sock Exchange?

December 7, 2016

Well, what else do you call a major trade between the White and Red Sox?

Chris Sale is now with the Red Sox. Could be a good fit, since Boston’s “Turn Back the Clock” uniforms aren’t much different than their current uniforms, assume he will have no need to cut them up.

 

 

After the Red Sox landed Chris Sale, Brian Cashman said “Boston is the Golden State Warriors of baseball now.” Maybe. But guess the SF Giants aren’t too upset with being baseball’s Spurs or the Cavs.

After the Sale  deal,  #DavidOrtiz tweeted ” You guys got me thinking” Brett Favre thinking “1st retirement is the hardest.

 

Pablo Sandoval has apparently lost a lot of weight this off-season. Maybe they can have Chris Sale use his scissors to guard food in the Red Sox clubhouse.

The Mississippi State Department of Health has issued a
state imposed “Boil-Water Alert” in one county after water sampling showed the presence of E. coli. But hey, who needs the EPA?

Alec Baldwin talking about life after the election. ” “Both sides are very passionate so it’s been a very, very difficult time in this country.” Well, yes, and also there went any plans Baldwin may have had for taking most Saturday nights off.

Trump says he is going to cancel the order with Boeing for new Air Force Ones. Because he wants to replace them all with Trump planes?

Apparently @realDonaldTrump got his #Boeing #AirForceOne numbers from the same place he got that “3 million illegal voters” number.

Real estate brokers in Manhattan are now apparently advertising Secret Service protection as an amenity for prospective Trump Tower tenants. “The Best Value in the Most Secure Building in Manhattan.” #WhataCountry

 

 

And again, a rare serious, if still snarky note.  Donald Trump finds time to tweet out his victory tour and to make statements as if he’s already President. But he somehow can’t find time to send condolences to Oakland fire victims and families. Because they were not killed by terrorists or immigrants they don’t count?

Monday night musings

December 5, 2016

LeBron James and some of his teammates have found alternate accommodations next week in Manhattan rather than stay at the Trump Soho in rooms booked by the team.
Standby for anti-Cavs tweets from our President Elect in 3.2.1….

Not only should he make the Pro Football Hall of Fame, Adam Vinatieri making strong push for AARP Hall of Fame.

As rough as tonight was for #Jets fans, good news is on the horizon. Next week New York plays the #49ers

Seeing tickets for many of these lesser bowl games going for well under cost and less than regular season games for many teams, can’t help but wonder, since it’s all about the $$$$, why not turn them into a playoff system? Can’t really be the idea that athletes need to go to class….

Justin Bieber said he will go on his first American stadium tour in August, with stops in Pasadena, Foxboro, Minneapolis, Denver, and the Meadowlands. Haven’t blue states suffered enough?,

Narendra Modi won the TIME Person of the Year Poll. Forget the controversy, millions of Americans are going “Who?

A woman went into labor and gave birth on a 3p Southwest flight from Philadelphia to Orlando. The plane diverted at 430p to Charleston to drop off the parents and baby at a local hospital, then continued to Orlando to arrive only an hour late.
Men are thinking “only an hour late, impressive.” Women are thinking. “labor and delivery under an hour and a half , REALLY impressive.”

Donald Trump “If the press would cover me accurately & honorably, I would have far less reason to “tweet.” Sadly, I don’t know if that will ever happen!”
Well ,yeah, the evil press keeps reporting every thing Trump says #howdarethey?.

Trying to imagine reaction had Hillary Clinton won election & made it clear Chelsea & Marc Mezvinsky were going to be her top White House advisors?

Police have dangerous job; I sympathize. But what did video need to show for Michael T. Slager to be convicted of murder of #WalterScott ?

Safeway is touting a program to “end hunger” by asking customers to donate this Holiday season. At the same time the Los Altos Safeway has 1-2 of 10 checkouts manned by a human, and about 8 “self-checkout” lanes. Wonder how many people in need of donations this year had jobs as cashiers last year?

Now Trump has picked #BenCarson as Secretary of HUD, despite Carson’s lack of experience. Did Trump figure “Well, it’s not brain surgery?”

So with Ben Carson as HUD Secretary will we solve some inner-city problems by building housing in pyramids that double as food storage facilities?

Some high school student asked San Antonio coach Gregg Popovich if his team is going to win it all this year.

here.

(courtesy Darren Rovell on Twitter.)  And some wonder why I root for the Spurs.

Not exactly bowled over

December 5, 2016

So despite a #18 ranking, Stanford was passed over by the Holiday Bowl in San Diego and the Foster Farms Bowl in Santa Clara because bowl organizers didn’t think fans of the school would travel. And just guessing, a matchup with North Carolina in El Paso on Dec. 30 isn’t going to change that image.

 

 

A note about the Sun Bowl. Stanford opponent North Carolina ranks 100 out of 128 FBS teams in allowing rushing yards per game. Over 223 yards per game. Just for comparison, Iowa, the Cardinal’s 2015 Rose Bowl opponent had allowed 128 per game in 2015.
#runChristianrun

Meanwhile, Cal isn’t going to a bowl game, not because of their 5-7 record, but because their “APR” (Academic Progress Report” wasn’t high enough this year. What a disappointment for all those young men who just missed a .500 record.

Meanwhile the Cotton Bowl will be played at AT&T Stadium, home of the Dallas Cowboys, which seats  100,000. And their New Year’s day game features Wisconsin and,,, Western Michigan? Well, 100,000 might also be the number of television viewers.

So the #CFPlayoff is set with supposed top 4 college teams in US and Cleveland Browns are ignored again. #outrage

 

If you want to sum up the SF 49ers’ season in one incident how’s this? Dontae Johnson made a snow angel in the end zone to celebrate a blocked punt for a TD. Not only was he given a 15 yard penalty for “excessive celebration,” but he was ruled out of bounds at the 4 yard line.

 

#SF49ers had 6 net passing yards today;Gabbert & Kaepernick sacked 6 times. Real question. How did this team EVER beat the #Rams?

 

Well, probably too soon to say the @NBA MVP race is over. But Russell Westbrook has 10 triple-doubles this season; rest of the NBA has 11.

Colin Kaepernick apparently has decided to become a free agent after the season. Wow. He should be about as sought after as SF 49ers season tickets.

Top executives are leaving Sears, and there are rumors the company may go bankrupt Sad. Not that I’ve been in one of their stores in probably two decades, but who else besides me once thought the Christmas season really started when the Sears catalog showed up?

Credit Trump for saving another American job for four years. That job is Alec Baldwin’s.

So @realDonaldTrump does know every time he tweets against @snl millions of Americans tune in to see what he was complaining about? #ratings

Serious open hints to @realDonaldTrump. If you think @SNL & #AlecBaldwin are that lousy, don’t watch. And get some sleep, you’ll need it.

Trump is saying firms who outsource or move factories outside America will get a massive tax hike, while there will be benefits for those who stay or return. Does that mean a bonus for Ivanka if she moves production of her clothing line from China to the US?

 

Apparently Donald Trump is still looking for a qualified Secretary of State. Well, Hillary  Clinton is available

From T.C. “Carolina’s QB Cam Newton was benched for their 1st series tonight vs Seattle because he violated club dress code rules by not wearing a tie. Ex NFL QB Donovan McNabb said, “What? Ties are involved in NFL games!”

Thoughts with Oakland.

December 4, 2016

In all seriousness for a change, horrible news out of Oakland with that warehouse party fire. The snark will continue on this page, nearly nonstop. But even while being snarky hope we can all be nice to each other. #lifeistoodamnshort

Back to snark.  Dear Santa: On behalf of all of these people who have such nice cars but couldn’t afford turn signals – could you help them out this Christmas?

 

#Badgers blew a 28-7 lead tonight to be upset by #PennState. Hate to say it but the worst choke job in #Wisconsin since Hillary Clinton.

 

Not that it will happen, but looking at Alabama’s out of conference wins against those powerhouses of Kent State and Chattanooga, would be fun to see NCAA mandate playoff teams play at least bowl eligible teams for out of conference games.

The Warriors’ Draymond Green is not happy after his latest flagrant foul for a high kick – which the NBA called an “unnatural act.”

“I didn’t know the people in the league office were that smart when it came to your body movement. I’m not sure if they took kinesiology and all this stuff for their positions to kind of tell you how your body is going to react when you get hit at certain positions.

Uh, Draymond, maybe you can figure out how YOUR body is the only one that consistently reacts to a hit by kicking people in the face or groin?

#UCLA just beat #Kentucky in men’s basketball. Well, maybe Trump turning back the clock 50 years or more has some benefits?

Warriors coach Steve Kerr said he tried marijuana twice for back pain in the last year and a half, but “it didn’t help at all.”
Hmm, maybe he should ask around the NBA for help getting better stuff.

Darwin alert: An unidentified person who was “subway surfing” fell off and died after being crushed by the train in a Manhattan station. Did the newspaper story even have to mention the victim was male?

 

Hawaii’s Mauna Loa & Mauna Kea have received 2-3 ft of snow this week. Maybe both heaven along with hell freezing over w/ Trump’s election.

Okay, for a little bipartisan bitching — all of these Democratic emails suggesting that we sign petitions against various potential Trump objectives. Now, I’m as against some of Trump’s proposed plans as anyone, but does anyone really think he would give a rat’s ass about what Democrats think?

Who says I never say anything good about Donald Trump? He did manage to p*ss off Ann Coulter: “Sounds like the big sell-out is coming. Oh well. The voters did what we could If Trump sells out, it’s not our fault.”

Garth Brooks, who wouldn’t say who he voted for, says he would if asked considering performing at Trump’s inaugural “”I haven’t been asked yet But] it’s always about serving. It’s what you do.”
Okay, but can Garth sing “We shall be free?”

In a CBS “60 Minutes” interview, Paul Ryan said “Donald Trump was an unconventional candidate and will be an unconventional president.”
Well, who said I never agree with the Speaker of the House?

 

Burning not so bryght?

December 3, 2016

ESPN Headline “Tiger Woods fires 2nd-round 65 at Hero World Challenge, nearly aces No. 12.” So is anyone actually leading this tournament?

 

Since Huskies won the Pac 12 championship tonight they should make the college football playoff. Although it’s actually somewhat amazing w/ East Coast bias committee knows Washington and Colorado are even in the Pac12.

 

Fired Oregon coach Mark Helfrich says he hoped Chip Kelly would be hired as the new Ducks football coach. “Ditto” said many SF 49ers fans.

Pirates 3B Jung Ho Kang was arrested and charged with DUI and leaving the scene of an accident after he allegedly hit a guardrail near a Seoul subway station and fled. His statement: “I’d like to apologize to everyone who is disappointed with me. Today, I got behind the wheel after drinking, and committed an irrevocable mistake. I panicked at the moment of the accident and did something that I never should have done. I am deeply regretting the incident. I will humbly accept whatever punishment is deemed fit for my actions.”
Wow, no tainted drink, no blame game? Are we sure this guy is a major league player?

Vikings QB Sam Bradford last night said the ref told him he didn’t get hit in the face mask. That’s right, Bradford got GRABBED by the face mask.

 

Former NFL player Joe McKnight, 28, was fatally shot in an apparently road rage incident outside New Orleans this week. Ronald Gasser admitted to shooting him and surrendered his gun to police. He was taken into custody but released overnight. Gasser, 54, is white. And some wonder why blacks are fearful and angry in this country.

What’s next with #SteveBannon and #Breitbart going after #Kelloggs? Accusations that Snap, Crackle and Pop are gay?

US unemployment has fallen to 4.6% #Jobsreport #IblameObama

In response to the House Science Committee tweeting a story from Breitbart News on climate change  Bernie Sanders tweeted out “Where’d you get your PhD, Trump University?  “Well played Bernie, well played.”

Trump backers are fighting hard to stop recounts in Pennsylvania, Michigan and Wisconsin. Wait…if you were worried about an election being rigged wouldn’t you want to do everything possible to make sure votes were counted correctly?

#WTF? Okay, credit where credit is due.  Sarah Palin just accused Donald Trump with his  Carrier deal in Indiana to be practicing “crony capitalism.”   Just guessing someone got told she isn’t getting picked for the Trump cabinet.

61 years ago this week #RosaParks refused to give up her seat on a Montgomery bus. Can you imagine if that happened in a social media era?

 

 

 

 

“What do you mean there’s only one China? There’s a North and South Carolina” #ThingsTrumpMightSay #Taiwan

Tough matchups

December 1, 2016

The 1-10 SF 49ers this Sunday take on the 2-9 Chicago Bears. The game promises to be almost as riveting as the Cleveland Browns vs. bye week

Who says there’s no good news anymore? MLB just announced that World Series home field advantage will no longer belong to the winner of the All-Star game, but to the pennant winner with the best record. #IblameObama

 

An English company is selling an advent calendar where each day brings a new small bite of cheese. Now if they can only figure out a way to add wine to that.

 

Our long national nightmare is over. #TIgerWoods is back playing on the PGA tour. At least until Friday.

A new report says Amazon, which has most of its employees in California and Washington, has eliminated 140,000 more retail jobs than they have created. What’s next? Tariffs on blue states?

 

 

Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher have had a second child. To show there are no hard feelings, Kutcher’s ex-wife Demi Moore generously sent over some of Ashton’s old toys.

A new poll from the Kaiser Family Foundation found only about 25% of Americans want Trump to repeal Obamacare. Wonder what else voters hope he didn’t actually mean?

So according to Politico, first daughter Ivanka Trump wants to make climate change one of her signature issues. Could she start by convincing her father it is real?

 

Glad to hear #IvankaTrump has decided to make climate change one of her issues. Hoping this isn’t just because she wants to sell more coats.

First it was #Starbucks over cups, now it’s #Kelloggs over Breitbart. Some boycotting conservatives going to have a hard time w/ breakfast.

I could deal w/ @realDonaldTrump’s angry tweets a lot better if he occasionally directed them at some of his SUPPORTERS behaving badly.

The CEO of Levi Strauss wrote an open letter “Recently, we had an incident in one of our stores where a gun inadvertently went off, injuring the customer who was carrying it….. So, while we understand the heartfelt and strongly held opinions on both sides of the gun debate, it is with the safety and security of our employees and customers in mind that we respectfully ask people not to bring firearms into our stores, offices or facilities, even in states where it’s permitted by law. Of course, authorized members of law enforcement are an exception.”
And now some are calling for boycotting Levi’s. #weregoingtoneedabiggerbasket

Flagged

November 30, 2016

Last year after Carolina beat Seattle and a Seahawks fan dangled a “12” flag near Cam Newton, the Panthers QB smiled, grabbed the flag and tossed it away. Now Richard Sherman is saying “I guess karma gets you” as it “doesn’t look like (Carolina) will be in the playoffs this year.”
Now, I’m a HUGE fan of mean bitch Karma, but my sense is that flag grabbing isn’t high on her list of the worst NFL sins.

 

Seeding in the @NBA playoffs is all about home-court advantage. The way the @spurs are playing, home court might not be an advantage.

In Prince Edward Island, Canada, Police in the town of Kensington have warned “those dumb enough to feel they can drink and drive,” that not only will they arrest you, “we will provide you with a bonus gift of playing the offices copy of Nickelback in the cruiser on the way to jail.”
The department thought about threatening to play Justin Bieber, but that might be a violation of the Geneva Convention.

11 stabbed by a #Somali at #OSU is cause to stop refugee program, but 10 bystanders shot in #NewOrleans isn’t cause for gun control? #WTF?

 

Cubans lined the streets and cheered for a four-day funeral procession throughout the country for Fidel Castro. Though to be fair hard to tell if they were cheering for their long-time leader’s life, or for his death.

US Weekly is reporting that “a source close to Kim and Kanye” said that “Kardashian was looking to take a break from her husband.”
Wow, if true, Trump will have to come up with some pretty incredible tweets to stay at the forefront of the headlines.

Michael ‘Jim’ Delligatti, 98, died this week. He was the McDonald’s franchisee who came up with the Big Mac in the 1960s.
Presumably Delligatti owed his long life to never eating his creation

 

The NYPD is looking for a man who snatched a pail containing $1.6 million worth of gold flakes off the open back of a Loomis truck on 48th Street. Leaving aside that police do not know his identity, have to wonder, who LEAVES $1.6 million in gold in the open back of a truck? #cantfixstupid

#SarahPalin is actually lobbying now to be appointed Secretary of Veterans Affairs. But haven’t vets suffered enough?

Barack Obama, on those dreaming of his wife following him. ” “Michelle will never run for office. She is as talented a person as I know. You can see the incredible resonance she has with the American people. But I joke that she’s too sensible to want to be in politics.”
All accurate except the “joke” part.

So now that the GOP controls the Presidency, Senate and House they will be able to repeal Obamacare and replace it with that great healthcare system for everyone that we had before…. Oh, wait, never mind.

As we await the latest crazy 3 am tweets, maybe our nation’s serious journalists should take a page from John McCain. “I’m not talking about Donald Trump. I didn’t before the election and I’m not doing so afterwards. I’m working on defending this nation as chairman of the Armed Services Committee, so you are wasting your time asking me about Donald Trump’s day-to-day comments or what his positions are.”

So, is it wrong to root for Trump to fail? Personally I will be pleasantly surprised if he can do good things with infrastructure, jobs and healthcare, and would (ok, I admit it, grudgingly) cheer him..
But as far as cutting our limited safety-nets, as far as taking away women’s and LGBT rights, as far as continuing to incite xenophobia, as far as making it possible for police to stop anyone on the street who looks foreign….. on these and other threats/promises, yes, I ABSOLUTELY will root for him to fail.

From Marc Ragovin   “In anticipation of moving to their new home next year, the Atlanta Braves have acquired 43-year old pitchers Bartolo Colon and 42-year old RA Dickey. What is the name of their new place? Jurrasic Park?”

Home not cooking?

November 30, 2016

 

The Spurs are 14-4 with all 4 losses at home. How long until #GreggPopovich demands San Antonio players stay at hotels for all home games?

 

ESPN reports all 6 NBA games today won by the team with the worse record. “The Elias Sports Bureau notes this is the 2nd day in NBA history. the first was in 1969, that that happened (minimum 6 games played in a day, at least 15 games into the season).” #IblameTrump

In men’s college basketball, Bryant freshman Ikenna Ndugba got the ball with 4 seconds to play and dribbled out the clock to preserve his team’s win against Brown. Only problem, Bryant was losing 91-90.
Who says college athletes don’t need to know math?

Ravens placekicker Justin Tucker says he would like to see a rule change where if you split the “uprights on a kickoff you get a point or you get rewarded for it in some way.”
Well, actually the Canadian Football League has given a point for a touchback for years….

#Oregon has fired football coach #MarkHelfrich. Well, former coach #ChipKelly might be available.

ESPN’s new NFL power rankings are out & #2 team behind Cowboys is the Raiders?    Forget Cubs & Trump’s victories, this is a true sign of apocalypse.

 

On Monday, an employee of a Austin bar filed a lawsuit against Johnny Manziel, The man accused Manziel of punching him and breaking his nose when he told the former QB he was not actually a  bartender and couldn’t make his drinks.
So congrats to all those who had Nov. 28 in the pool.

So was Elaine Chao chosen as Transportation Secretary in part to make sure Mitch McConnell never goes after Trump over his children and potential conflicts of interest?

(Chao is married to McConnell)

Todd Macaluso, former lawyer for Casey Anthony, was arrested last week for allegedly trying to fly 1,500 kilos of cocaine from Ecuador to Honduras. 1,500 kilos? Wow. And that still wasn’t as despicable as defending Casey Anthony.

#DanQuayle showed up at #TrumpTower, ostensibly to offer congratulations. Because Quayle thinks Trump will “Make America Grate Again?”

or maybe it’s just that Trump Tower has the best potatoes in the U.S.

 

What’s next with @realDonaldTrump’s auditions for Secretary of State. Trips to the fantasy suite? #whogetstherose?

So after railing against Hillary Clinton’s speeches to Goldman Sachs, Trump has now picked for Treasury Secretary, Steve Mnuchin a 17-year veteran of… Goldman Sachs. #draintheswampandputinbiggeralligators
#whythereisnosatire

From Trump today on Twitter: “Nobody should be allowed to burn the American flag – if they do, there must be consequences – perhaps loss of citizenship or year in jail!”
From the Boy Scout handbook: “A national flag that is worn beyond repair may be burned in a fire. The ceremony should be conducted with dignity and respect and the flag burned completely to ashes.”
#whythereisnomoresatire

Attn @realDonaldTrump, flag burning is protected free speech as per Supreme Court in 1989. In a majority opinion joined by Antonin Scalia.

So would Trump supporters like to name ONE Cabinet pick he has made who is a defender of the working class?

Leaving the lights on.

November 28, 2016

So this year it’s the “Motel 6 Cactus Bowl,” on Dec. 27 in Phoenix. Do the winners all get a free night at a Motel 6, and the losers get two nights?

 

The Big Ten reprimanded Jim Harbaugh and fined Michigan $10,000 after Harbaugh complained bitterly about the officiating Saturday. A small excerpt “Two penalties called all day [on Ohio State “Multiple holding penalties let go, multiple false starts…”
So wonder if Wolverine backers already have a Gofundme account set up to pay the fines?

Ohio State could make the College Football Playoff without winning their own division.   Would that make them an honorary member of the SEC?

 

A United flight from San Francisco to Tokyo had to return to the airport today following an engine failure after takeoff. No word about potential compensation for passengers, or about a future “engine” fee.

Hoping the attacker ends up  the only fatality on OSU campus today. But my immediate bus-to-hell thought “Dudes, you won the game.”

That and “anyone seen Harbaugh this morning?.” #morebustohell

Trump supporter NY Rep. Chris Collins today “”What do I know about Mitt Romney? I know that he’s a self-serving egomaniac who puts himself first, who has a chip on his shoulder, and thinks that he should be president of the United States.”
Does this even need a punchline?

 

Trump is threatening to “terminate” deal that Obama made with Cuba. Does he realize even his supporters like cigars and rum?

Apparently Twitter users are going after Ivanka Trump after she posted a picture of her youngest child, with the caption “I cannot believe Theodore is 8 months old today. Happy Birthday Little Teddy Bear.”
But come on, we all know the Trumps are so special they get birthdays every month. #onlythelittlepeoplejustgetonebirthday

The NY Times reports that Steve Bannon talked to Julia Jones, a former partner on a Reagan film project, about “genetic superiority,” and “the desirability of limiting the vote to property owners.”
Ah yes, building that bridge to the 18th century

 

Trump is naming Georgia Rep. and Obamacare critic Tom Price as Secretary of Health and Human Services. Price tweeted “House Republicans’ #BetterWay plan will protect the principles of health care: Accessibility, Affordability, Quality, Innovation, & Choices.”.
Okay, fine, but how come all these GOP critics never thought health care needed reforming until Dems actually passed the ACA?

 

 

 

Got to love this one forwarded to me by Roberta.

In addition to winning the 1967 Stanley Cup, the Maple Leafs won all subsequent Cups if you deduct the dozens of teams who won illegally

Payback?

November 28, 2016

Gregg Williams, who was the defensive coordinator for the New Orleans Saints responsible for “Bounty Gate,” now has that job for the Rams.

Not only did the Saints put up 49 points on the Rams today, but they scored one late TD on a flea flicker pass with a 21 point lead. But I’m sure payback from New Orleans coach Sean Payton had nothing to do with it.

The Pac 12 Championship might have better than average attendance. Could be 1st good matchup fans see in the 49ers’ Levis Stadium.

Notre Dame coach Brian Kelly said would “speak with” DL Jerry Tillery, who apparently stomped on the foot of one USC player, and kicked another in the helmet when he was down. Will Kelly tell Tillery he is “NFL ready?

In the third quarter of yesterday’s Michigan-Ohio State game, Jim Harbaugh got angry enough to throw his play card and headset onto the ground on the sideline. Officials gave him an unsportsmanlike conduct penalty. Jeez, for 15 yards Harbaugh might as well have thrown the stuff and hit someone. .

Got to love the airlines. United says it’s not possible to standby earlier when flight was delayed because of having a checked bag and bags must go with passengers.
Then land to an email message saying “Welcome to San Francisco! Your bag has arrived on an earlier flight. Please see a Baggage Service representative in Baggage Claim to pickup your bag.” #WTF?

Trump and Obama are apparently talking regularly. Makes sense from the President’s view. If the President-Elect will listen to anybody, he might as well listen to a voice of reason.

Forget the shock of Trump winning election, more unbelievable question – how did the SF 49ers ever beat anybody?

So now that @realDonaldTrump was elected President can’t he just order the IRS to stop his audit and then go ahead and release tax returns?

Trump tweeted today  “In addition to winning the Electoral College in a landslide, I won the popular vote if you deduct the millions of people who voted illegally.”   So it’s not enough that people are creating fake news, now the President-elect is quoting it.

Putin has given a Russian passport to U.S. action film star Steven Seagal, saying he hopes it’s “a sign of a gradual normalization of the relations between the countries.”
If Putin really wants to score points with Americans, maybe he can give Russian citizenship to the Kardashians?

No evidence “millions” voted illegally, but if @realDonaldTrump believes it wouldn’t he want massive recount to prove point & bigger win?.

 

If Trump really wants to reward someone who helped him win election, should give Cabinet post to Jack Dorsey, founder of @twitter

Kellyanne Conway says that Trump supporters are furious that he is considering Romney for Secretary of State after the personal attacks Mitt made about the Donald during the campaign.
Of course, on the other hand, if Trump doesn’t consider anyone who didn’t attack him, or who he didn’t attack, there are going to be a lot of open positions in his White House.

Apparently many of more than 1.5 million Floridians who signed up for the ACA are really counting on the law staying in place. Because they love the Affordable Care Act, it was Obamacare they couldn’t stand?

Anyone who’s never been uninsured in their life has no business complaining about the #ACA #Obamacare. That is all.

Amateur hour

November 26, 2016

 

Notre Dame ended season 4-8, and got cited for academic misconduct, so coach Brian Kelly’s job might be in jeopardy.
Hmm, could be a perfect fit for Jed York and SF 49ers. #winningwithclass

Louisville lost to Kentucky,  and dealt a serious blow to Lamar Jackson’s Heisman hopes.  The last time a Heisman candidate lost to Kentucky, it was Charlie Ward  while playing basketball for FSU.  (march, 1993)

That moment when as much as you hate #OhioState, you kind of don’t want #TylerDurbin to miss since it would mess him up for life. #MICHvsOSU

 

Okay, moment has passed.   How do you claim a playoff spot when you can’t win your conference?

No California team in the Pac 12 championship this year. Who knew the only really decent team in the state might turn out to be the Raiders?

=

The #SFGiants are reportedly talking to the #RedSox about trading for Pablo Sandoval. So how do you unburn Panda hats & bridges?

So @realDonaldTrump tweeted out at 6:08am “Fidel Castro is dead.” Not at 3:00am. See, now that he’s  been elected, Trump already slacking off

 

Canadian PM Justin Trudeau, had a tempered response to Castro’s death, calling him “controversial.” Ted Cruz angrily responded “Why do young socialists idolize totalitarian tyrants?”
And Trump is thinking “Ted’s saying “totalitarian tyrants like it’s a bad thing.”

Would have been interesting to see if #Trump would have met w/ #FidelCastro. Maybe not a communism fan but so “how’d you become a dictator?”

So which of your family members would YOU date if you weren’t related to them? #BadTopicsForHolidayParties

=

Trump called the recount effort “a scam.” Wait a minute, wasn’t he the one who was worried about the election being rigged?

NY Daily News headlne “Cops bust emotionally disturbed man who entered Trump Tower, claimed President-elect called him.”
“Time to go home now Mr. Giuliani.”

Too soon

November 25, 2016

So first today we lost Florence Henderson and now Fidel Castro?   Guess even Communist dictators have a hard time imagining life without Carol Brady.

The story of a lovely lady…. R.I.P Florence Henderson. There goes another piece of our childhoods.

 

Or maybe Castro couldn’t face the thought of Trump being the U.S. President who might attend his funeral?

 

Convenient of #FidelCastro to have died after Obama lifted some restrictions: Americans can now legally toast his memory with Cuban rum.

 

So yesterday Colin Kaepernick praised Fidel Castro and today the Cuban leader is dead. You mean that’s all it took

That moment when you realize #DakPrescott is interfering with your lifelong hatred of the #DallasCowboys

Instead of Anthony Bourdain’s “Parts Unknown” CNN in Boston last night apparently aired 30 minutes of porn. In related news, a record number of men asked their wives on what channel they could find the Food Network.

 

 

How American: a day of giving thanks for all we have, then a day to go out & buy a lot more stuff. #thanksgiving #blackfriday

What’s wrong with this headline? “Ageless actress Christina Applegate turns 45 years old.” Yeah, she’s positively ancient. #sarcasm

Robin Van Ert, who had an extramarital affair with Bo Ryan, when he was men’s basketball coach at Wisconsin, and then wrote the university that Ryan had misused funds during the affair, has filed a federal lawsuit.. She claims among other things that because Wisconsin released her name she has suffered “severe emotional and physical distress and illness, loss of privacy, harm to her reputation, loss of business and has incurred substantial damages and legal fees.”
RIght, so now with this lawsuit millions of people who have either forgotten or never heard about Van Ert and the affair in the first place, will now really remember her name.

=

That moment when you realize that with alternative being #RudyGiuliani that #MittRomney doesn’t seem so bad as a possible Secretary of State

 

Trump having hard time getting entertainers for inaugural. But hey, no problem #TedNugent & replays of #theApprentice. It will be HUGE.

 

So in 2017 expect @realDonaldTrump declare day after Thanksgiving to be “Orange Friday. And it will be HUGE, the best shopping day ever….

 

Okay whatever you think about our two major party candidates this Presidential election, this fact remains: All the hacking, all the released emails, all the fake news, whether it was done by a foreign government or just mostly foreign rogue hackers, was ALL in support of a single candidate. And that in and of itself should be very scary.

Holidaze

November 24, 2016

 

Happy Thanksgiving. Thankful to have so many wonderful friends and readers.  Even and especially if we disagree on some things – from trivial stuff like politics to important stuff like baseball.

But hey, aren’t we all a little nuts?

nuts

 

The pilgrims were a hardy lot. No football games or the prospect of Black Friday sales to keep them from falling into post Thanksgiving food comas.

If all of these companies were REALLY thankful for us on Thanksgiving they would take a one-day break from sending us junk email.

Next year will @realDonaldTrump order stores to close on #Thanksgiving so we can spend time w/ families and order gifts from his website?

New Yorkers are particularly thankful that Trump decided to spend #Thanksgiving in Florida. Thereby not making traffic any worse today.

 

“Whatever anyone says, I didn’t kiss Mommy. She wouldn’t have been my 1st choice. Nasty woman.” Santa Claus #TrumpaChristmasCarol

 

Apparently some folks were upset that Aretha Franklin sang a five-minute version of the national anthem in Detroit. Now, before the Super Bowl maybe, but really, who was in a hurry for a Vikings-Lions game to start?