Archive for May 2017

For the next round…

May 30, 2017

Think I’ve solved this SF Giants-Nationals thing. Let Washington find Jamie Moyer and sign him to a one-day contract. Have Baker tell him to throw at Posey. Honor regained, and Buster won’t even have a bruise.

Cubs’ Jake Arrieta said of Strickland Harper brawl “Thought it was awesome.” Guessing someone won’t get benefit of doubt with his next HBP.

Strickland gets longer suspension than Harper? Has @MLB watched 2017 #SFGiants? Not sure Hunter has enough control to hit him that squarely.

In Washington state, police have not yet recovered the body of a young man who fell off a cliff while taking a selfie with his girlfriend. How long until “death by selfie” becomes listed as an official cause of death for statistical purposes?

Sad when anyone young dies. But how even more sad that the lead to your obituary is “bachelorette contestant”? #bustohell

 

Armed man taken into custody in rental car area at #OrlandoInternationaAirport. So someone finally lost it w/ all those additional fees & taxes?

Cleveland fired cop who shot #TamirRice for “falsified data on his application”? Sad. Even so PD has higher standards than White House.

Okay, who’s going to be the first to take as their stripper name?

Trump White House – where those that aren’t under investigation are about to be fired for not protecting those under investigation.

#HouseofCards releases a new season this week. I liked the show better when it didn’t feel like a documentary.

#SeanSpicer “I think the relationship the President has had with Merkel as fairly unbelievable.” When he’s right, he’s right.

Meanwhile new White House communications director Mike Dubke has already quietly resigned from his job, which was overseeing the messaging strategy. Shocking. Thump’s White House HAS a messaging strategy??

 

How long until @realDonaldTrump tries to get all his fake Twitter followers registered to vote?

 

Justin Trudeau reportedly too took Trump up on offer to contact him on cellphone. Conversation? Or did Justin just try to distract the President w/ cat videos?

White House spokeswoman Hope Hicks – “President Trump has a magnetic personality and exudes positive energy, which is infectious to those around him. He has an unparalleled ability to communicate with people, whether he is speaking to a room of three or an arena of 30,000. He has built great relationships throughout his life and treats everyone with respect. He is brilliant with a great sense of humor … and an amazing ability to make people feel special and aspire to be more than even they thought possible.

Time to introduce White House drug testing?

 

Finally, a bipartisan comment.  #KathyGriffin is a f*cking idiot. That is all.

Striking one?

May 30, 2017

 

Whoever thought that the 2017 SF Giants would be the lead story on Sportcenter over a hit?   Especially one by Strickland on Harper?

Giants fans hope it won’t be the biggest hit of the year.

Just thinking that both SF Giants s AND Nationals are glad Madison Bumgarner was on on the  DL & thus not allowed to get on field during that brawl.

Watching Hunter Strickland and Bryce Harper after seeing Hamilton makes  you glad the US has outlawed duels.

And of course no one will ever really know what Strickland intended to do with that pitch that hit Harper square on the thigh..   But anyone who has been watching the Giants knows, if  Hunter’s control was THAT good, he’d be the team closer.

Tiger Woods arrested for DUI. ! So he’s even having issues driving off the golf course?

 

Maybe Tiger Woods’ sponsor  Nike ought to partner with Uber/Lyft with the slogan “Just do it – call a ride.”

And well, at least Tiger Woods wasn’t driving an Indy 500 pace car this weekend.

 

JFK would have been 100 today, Meaning he would have been almost old enough to run as a Democrat for President in 2020. #JFK100

A newly engaged couple in Canada escaped without serious injury after he proposed in a hot-air balloon, which then crashed into a tree. Well, that’s one way of getting the “for worse” part out of the way early.

 

Tuning into #TheBachelorette to be reminded of those days when most outrageous regular insanity in US at least seemed to be on reality TV.

And wasn’t it nice when joining a televised competition  “for  the wrong reasons” was only something we worried about for a dating show instead of the presidency?

Rumors are that Trump may overturn President Obama’s loosening of restrictions for travel and tourism to Cuba.  Forget healthcare, has Donald asked his base what they think about giving up Cuban cigars?

Bummer, Frank Deford. 78, has passed away. In the pre-ESPN days when you grew up with just the local paper and Sports Illustrated, his words helped guide many of us off on a lifetime love of sports.

Oxymoron?

May 28, 2017

Somehow it doesn’t seem quite right to say “Happy Memorial Day.”

Would like all these MLB camouflage hats for Memorial Day Weekend more if they didn’t feel like just another way to sell stuff.

Personally think it’s really cool Takuma Sato won #Indy500. But as he’s Japanese-born hope he brought Lactaid for winners circle. #gotmilk?

 

Pitchers who kinda sorta rake. Cueto had a sacrifice fly Sunday  for SF Giants. They will take it.

SHN sends email thank you notes to everyone who buys Hamilton tickets after the show and suggests posting on social media about #HamiltonSF to spread the word. Right. Because they’d hate to have lots of empty seats for the rest of the show’s run? #WTF

The long lull between the Western and Eastern conference championships and the NBA finals continues…  Why, this is enough of a break for players to start and finish a relationship with a Kardashian.

People at Walt Disney World’s Animal Kingdom were waiting in line six hours or more to enter the new “Pandora – the World of Avatar” land this morning.  Wonder how long some of these folks would wait in line to vote.

Eight dead in #Mississippi. Not terrorism, just regular American gun violence. Move along, nothing to see here.

From “Ivanka Trump HQ” verified Twitter account  “Make champagne popsicles this

They go so well with all that cake we’re supposed to eat.

 Justin Trudeau posts thoughtful literate tweets in French and English. Ok Canada, that’s just rubbing it in.
-‘
Trump tweeting today that the phrase “some sources” means #FakeNews. But of course “many people are saying” is always gospel truth.

 

Give @realDonaldTrump credit for one thing on his foreign trip – a unified Europe

 

 

Trump tweets were so abnormally calm and measured last week, then so “normal” Sunday can only assume someone convinced him Twitter didn’t work in Europe?

John Kelly, the Director of Homeland Security who will make the decision if Americans can continue to take their laptops, iPads and Kindles on international flights without checking them in luggage, also said last month “a border wall is essential” because of “tremendous threats” such as drugs and individuals coming into the US.

Now I feel much safer . #sarcasm

The sound of silence?

May 28, 2017

So if you’re at a play and miss hearing the SF Giants bullpen looking at first like they might blow another game, but the team hangs on…is it still torture?

Still five days away from the start of NBA Finals. But only a month or so away from the start of 2017-18 NBA pre-season.

California Senator Kamala Harris and Ohio Senator Sherrod Brown have bet cases of good beer on the Warriors and Cavs for the NBA championship. So will they next bet cases of generic beer on if the 49ers or Browns will end up with next year’s #1 NFL draft pick?

Newark Airport was partially evacuated today after a “suspicious pressure cooker” was found in a shopping bag. It turned out to be harmless. But thinking if you are flying to a wedding and thinking of giving someone a pressure cooker as a present this summer, maybe best to have it shipped

RIP Gregg Allman, 69. Not sure what’s worse for baby-boomers, having had music heroes die young, or having them die from at least somewhat age-related causes.

British Airways canceled all flights Saturday from London after what say is “a major IT system failure.” And United might be quietly smiling – “what a drag.”

 

What would we give to hear what other world leaders were privately saying about Trump when he went off to give solo troop speech in Italy?

Trump on his foreign trip “We hit a home run.” As SF Giants fans have sadly learned for too much of  2017.  – One or two home runs a week means you are losing, bigly.

 

In Europe are they now feeling like Americans do when that really obnoxious house guest you really didn’t want is finally gone?

 

So how long until we find out someone in Trump White House has their own email server too? “If the President does it, it’s not illegal.”

Trump’s am tweet “I will make my final decision on the Paris Accord next week!” So he’ll tell us, “after the break?” #realityshowpresident

Quite a tweet storm Saturday from @realDonaldTrump. But about awful #Portland killings by anti-Muslim extremist – crickets. Why am I not surprised?

 

If your killer is undocumented you warrant major attention from Trump but not if your killer is white supremacist? #Sad #ReallySad #Portland

Down goes……fill in the blank

May 27, 2017

Wonder how many sports journalists are hoping athletes aren’t paying enough attention to get the idea that bodyslamming is an acceptable response to questions.

 

Madison Bumgarner soon to start playing catch in rehab from dirt bike accident. Not sure what @SFGiants miss most – his pitching or his bat?

Apparently both Kentucky Derby winner Always Dreaming and Preakness winner Cloud Computing may skip the Belmont.    This news will devastate casual horse racing fans who planned to watch the race – both of them.

 

An Akron hospital just removed mandatory pantyhose w/ dresses & skirts from employee dress code. Millennials are going “what are pantyhose?

Nothing says “America First” like wearing a $51,000 Italian dress to the G-7 Summit.

But ah, those pictures of #EmmanuelMacron and #JustinTrudeau. Millions of women just changed their computer screensavers….

A Turkish newspaper reports the government has issued arrest warrant for outspoken OKC center Enes Kanter – for being a member of a “terror group,”
Just guessing Gregg Popovich might want to take Istanbul off his travel list.

In Taormina at the G-7 summit, all the world leader’s walked from the welcoming ceremony.  Except Trump who took a golf cart.  If only American voters cared about stamina.
Hillary at #Wellesley2017 – There’s “a full-fledged assault on truth and reason.” More like a body slam.
Just wonder what would happen if some journalist got tired of being lied to and body slammed a politician to the ground?

Also trying to imagine the reaction if President Obama had finally gotten tired of it and body slammed a Fox News reporter?
Quote from former House Speaker –  the  Trump presidency has been “complete disaster.” Remember halcyon days when scariest orange person in US was John Boehner?

A Mississippi woman is in jail after she dropped her purse in a doctor’s waiting room, and the gun inside it went off, shooting and wounding another woman. Your move, Florida and Texas.

 

Washington Post said Jared Kushner “suggested using Russian diplomatic facilities in US for communications.” But at least  he didn’t use private email server.

Trump condemned the most recent attack in Egypt and said “the bloodletting of Christians must end.” How about the ‘bloodletting’ period?

 

Icy hot.

May 25, 2017

What a shock to anyone who’s been watching the NBA playoffs.  Not only did the Senators-Penguins go 7 games, they were actually mostly good games.  Like much of the NHL playoffs. Close games…you can do that?

 

So once again, Canada doesn’t have a team in the Stanley Cup finals. But they still have Justin Trudeau. We in US might trade….

Former NBA player Rashad McCants said dating a Kardashian (Khloe) wrecked his NBA career. And other NBA players who’ve screwed up their lives with Kardashians are going “Who?”

 

A California woman is suing Jelly Belly, claiming she didn’t know their “sport” jelly beans. contain sugar. Once again, an illustration that Shakespeare was ahead of his time – ‘First thing we do, let’s kill all the lawyers.”

And on another lighter note, a Florida woman was arrested for assaulting her ex by throwing pork fried rice at him. Hmm, maybe, not such a light note.  Fried rice can be heavy.

New White House motto. “If the President does it it’s not leaking?

Happy #NationalWineDay. Of course, since January 20, 2017, many Americans especially women consider EVERY day #NationalWineDay

 

US Appeals court in Richmond ruled against Trump’s revised travel ban Can’t wait to hear Sessions refer to Richmond as “island in Virginia.”

Starting to feel old. I remember when home runs didn’t have “launch angles.”

Major score in Trump insult bingo for those who had “all NATO countries.”

Trump standing next to Angela Merkel and lecturing European leaders: “You have thousands and thousands of people pouring into our various countries, and spreading throughout, and in many cases we have no idea who they are. The NATO of the future must include a great focus on terrorism and immigration,..”
Except the Manchester bomber was British-born….

If we’re worried about immigrants but also want immigrants & minorities to “report any suspicious activity” it seems to me we have a problem.

Will GOP take assault off list of reasons to deport immigrants? Because it’s clearly now okay if someone p*sses you off. #IOKIYR #Gianforte

 

Gianforte win is quite a change, usually candidates wait until after they are elected to get arrested.

National GOP Congressional Committee Chairman Steve Stivers “From what “From what I know of Greg Gianforte, this was totally out of character, but we all make mistakes.”
Well, guess since actual violence was involved Stivers couldn’t just call it “locker room banter.”

Home Depot co-founder Ken Langone “Hell, people use food stamps to buy marijuana — that’s illegal — or cocaine, or whatever the hell else people use to get high.”
Begging the question – “What is Langone smoking?”

If Gianforte wins & goes to DC instead of jail, can we somehow start intraparty fight between him & Ted Cruz.  Cruz? #payperview #passthepopcorn

 

From T.C.  Prez of Montenegro lucky he wasn’t Bodyslammed. They must have paid their NATO “dues”.

Greg, we’re not in New Jersey anymore.

May 24, 2017

Montana new special election slogan?   “And the hits just keep on coming.”

 

 

If Montana congressional candidate Gianforte had to body-slam someone couldn’t it have been whoever came up with the idea for  the Dirty Dancing remake?

 

Just think, before tonight it was only political junkies who were really focused on special election in #Montana #MTAL #Gianforte

Maybe after tonight even if elected Giaforte won’t vote for Trumpcare. Pretty sure it classifies anger issues as pre-existing conditions.

Think White House staff is probably REALLY happy Trump is either jetlagged or asleep & thus not tweeting about Gianforte & the reporter?

Cav’s coach Tyronn Lue, asked about the Warriors “We’re just focused on Boston. The stuff they’re running, it’s harder to defend than Golden State’s [offense] for me….”
And here they tell PLAYERS that “less is more.”

A Fed Exp contract employee in Northern California was arrested for allegedly burglarizing houses while on the job. And many people feel guilty about wasting time on social media at work.

Brock Osweiler, newly with Cleveland, believes he is an NFL starting QB: “I think the proof is in the film for the past two years.”
Hmm, the film on him, or the film on the Browns?

CNN reports “Sessions did not disclose (last year’s)  Russia meetings in security clearance form.” I’m sure it’s just a coincidence. #alternativememory

Pope Francis apparently asked Melania, “What do you feed him?” Can’t wait for #failing tweets when Trump realizes Pope called him “fat”

Sean Spicer, a devout Catholic, wasn’t allowed to attend Trump’s audience with the Pope today.  They couldn’t have even let him watch from outside in the Vatican bushes?  #Sad

 

Ben Carson says living in poverty is a “state of mind.’ But stupidity is forever.

Now President Trump reportedly told Philippine President Duterte that US sent 2 nuclear subs to waters off Korean peninsula. Not sure what reality show Donald wants post-presidency, but it sure won’t be “I’ve got a secret.”

CBO prediction on Trumpcare shows 23 million uninsured by 2026. Trump projections show far fewer as millions of them will die before then.