Archive for July 2015

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Say what?

July 12, 2015

There is a rumor that McDonald’s “Minions” toys, instead of spouting gibberish, actually speak in profanities. Is this a shameless ploy to sell more Happy Meals to pre-teens?

 

Once again it’s time for the Running of the Bulls in Pamplona, which brings people from around the world to Spain. You know, for a lot less money these folks could stay home and play in traffic?

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Tiger Woods, back at St Andrews for the first time in years said “It’s totally changed.” “Thinking the same about you” responded the Old Course.

 

Mark Cuban, after DeAndre Jordan apologized on Twitter for backing out of a verbal agreement to join the Mavericks “When is an apology not an apology? When you didn’t write it yourself. Next.”

Thinking one of the most anticipated NBA games of the year may be when the Clippers come to Dallas.

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A new GOP presidential poll shows Donald Trump and Jeb Bush tied at the top with about 15% each. If this keeps up, Trump’s campaign will attract some serious donations. From Hillary Clinton.

 

Donald Trump at a speech in Phoenix today- “Don’t worry, we’ll take our country back.” Back to what, the 19th century?

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Three things that should never be seen at ‪#‎ATTPark‬: The DH, Dodger Blue, and the wave ‪#‎SFGiants‬

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Seeing the ‪#‎Phillies‬ on your upcoming MLB schedule is like seeing the ‪#‎Astros‬ used to be. ‪#‎goodtimes‬ ‪#‎SFGiants‬

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Joel Embiid, the 76ers top pick and #3 overall in the 2014 draft, sat out last season with a foot injury. Now he needs another surgery and will probably miss next season as well. Guess it’s not too early for Philadephia to start scouting 2016 draft picks.

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Goldstar has the Raiders-Cardinals preseason NFL game on August 30 for $12.50 in Oakland. Hmm, are they offering to charge us or to pay us?

 

From  Marc Ragovin “Jason Pierre-Paul on his fireworks fiasco and its aftermath: “There’s no need to point fingers.”

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Crime and pun-ishment?

July 10, 2015

An arbitrator has reduced the Cowboys’ Greg Hardy suspension from 10 to four games. This for assaulting his girlfriend and threatening to kill her. Well, not like Hardy did anything serious like smoking marijuana.

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Miss Nevada USA 2007 was arrested for alleged possession and sale of meth this week. Hmm, wonder if she told pageant officials that her career goal was to teach science?

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Ohio State QB Braxton Miller “As it stands right now, I know I am the best athlete in college football.” Uh, he might not even be the best athlete at OSU.

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A warrant has been issued for the arrest of FSU RB Dalvin Cook, 19, who is accused of repeatedly punching a 21-year-old woman in the face outside a bar in June. This after he completed pre-trial intervention for a bb-gun battle last June and was investigated for allegedly waving a gun at a neighbor in July of 2014.

Cook was the Seminoles’ leading rusher last season, gaining 1,008 yards with 8 TDs. Guessing he’ll be dismissed from the team. But is it too soon to start a pool on which SEC team will announce he’s a nice young man who deserves a second chance?

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RB Dalvin Cook, facing arrest for assault, has been cut from the Seminoles football team. FSU coach Jimbo Fisher – “It is important to me that our fans and the public be aware that I do not tolerate the type of behavior that was captured on video and that was most recently alleged.”

Well, at least he’s honest about the “captured on video” part”

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Happiest baseball people who are not ‪#‎SFGiants‬ fans tonight. Anyone whose team was hoping to trade for Cole Hamels and wanted a lower price.  (Final score  -SF 15- PHL 2.)

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#‎SFGiants‬ are undefeated in 2015 when they score 15 runs.

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The Confederate flag has been removed from the South Carolina capitol. Let’s hope not too many people fired guns in the air to celebrate.

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Many men don’t get the fascination with “The Bachelorette,” especially this year where a woman tells a guy he is “the one,” then goes and sleeps with someone else, and may yet go back to the first guy. They’d rather deal with watching serious stuff like NFL free agency……

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A new study says that 10% of Americans take fish oil pills, but that the omega-3s in the pills may not be beneficial at all for heart health. Of course, have to wonder how many people take them along with meals featuring double-bacon-cheeseburgers….

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Today’s bus to hell moment courtesy of T. C.  “Michael Sam is back with the Montreal Alouettes CFL team. He returned without much fanfare. It’s almost like he snuck in the back door.”

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Following the money?

July 9, 2015

Okay, Greece needs about a $53 billion dollar bailout. Here’s a way to kill two birds with one stone. Let’s move the U.S. Presidential Primary to Greece, along with all the consultants, media, etc. That should be well over a $53 billion injection of money into their economy. And we in America will only have to watch “plausibly live” highlights on tape delay..

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Reince Priebus, chair of the RNC, reportedly called Donald Trump and told him to “tone it down” on immigration. Wonder if DNC chair Debbie Wasserman Schultz called Trump to remind him of his first amendment right to free speech.

 

 

Donald Trump just said in a CNN interview “I don’t know. I really don’t know,” when asked about President Obama being born in this country. “I don’t know why he wouldn’t release his records.”

At this point many people are beginning to wonder if Trump was born on this planet.

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And Geoffrey Zakarian is the latest chef to drop out of Trump’s new hotel in Washington, D.C.. over those immigration comments.  When Trump sorts out his restaurants, thinking he may have some REAL issues getting housekeeping staff.

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Miami Marlins have signed Casey McGehee after the SF Giants released him yesterday. Well, maybe with all their injuries the Marlins figure they won’t have many opportunities with runners on base for McGehee to hit into a double play.

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Clayton Kershaw hasn’t had a great 2015. But Wednesday night he threw a complete game shutout against Philadelphia. Good for him, but does pitching against the Phillies count as a rehab assignment?

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Thursday morning ‪#‎LeBron‬ has to be reading news & thinking “And they thought my ESPN show was the worst way to handle a decision.” ‪#‎DeAndreJordan‬

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U.S. officials say now that they thwarted “a number” of terror plots timed to July 4. Can we blame Obama?

 

Wow, just wow. Jeb Bush on fixing the economy: “People need to work longer hours and through their productivity gain more income for their families. That’s the only way we are going to get out of this rut that we’re in.”

And they thought Jeb’s brother was out of touch?

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If Jeb Bush’s “work longer hours” comment is really aimed at all the people who want to work full-time but are stuck in part-time jobs, then where is his statement condemning big corporations who DELIBERATELY schedule as many workers as possible just under the full-time threshold to avoid paying benefits?

While he’s at it, Jeb can decry all the corporations, hotels and airlines for example, who fire full-time employees and replace them with low priced hourly contract workers who also don’t get full-time work and benefits.

‪#‎crickets‬

 

 

Taco Bell is testing home delivery in 200 locations in California and Texas. Wouldn’t it make more sense to try the idea out in say, Washington and Colorado?

 

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From Bill Littlejohn . “The Spurs’ Matt Bonner says that tennis elbow caused by his iPhone led to his poor shooting.Tennis elbow from an iPhone–is that a case of ‘server error'”

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Technical issues?

July 8, 2015

Are we looking at the VP of Computer Operations at United Airlines or the NYSE?

 

 

 

johnnie

 

The Department of Homeland Security says ‘No signs of malicious activity’ in NYSE and United Airline computer crashes. Yeah, makes sense, terrorism is no match for good old-fashioned incompetence.

 

#‎DeAndreJordan‬ is now Brett Favre’s favorite NBA player.

 

San Antonio Spurs have to be sitting back and laughing at these emoji wars between the Clippers and Mavericks. Especially since they probably wooed LaMarcus Aldridge with smoke signals.

 

So ‪#‎NBA‬ schedule isn’t out yet, but just guessing ‪#‎Clippers‬ ‪#‎Mavericks‬ first 2015 matchup will be scheduled for national prime time television

 

You think while Clippers were hanging out at DeAndre  Jordan’s house maybe they could have given him some free throw lessons?

 

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A 58 year old Florida woman who was at the Dayton Coke Zero 400 told an interviewer THROUGH HER LAWYER, “I thought I was going to die when that car came flying right at me “The whole event was just terrifying. I am happy to be alive.”

The woman and her adult son, who say they do not have health insurance, were treated at the track, and not sent to the hospital. But they are now talking to medical specialists.. Their lawyer says they just want current and future medical costs taken care of….

Two words. Yeah. Right.

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So the All-Star Game Home Run Derby will now be timed, with five minutes per batter per round, but bonus time for hitting home runs over 420 or 475 feet. This isn’t a batting contest, it’s a video game.

 

 

Baseball trivia of the day: The St. Louis Cardinals have 26 comeback wins this year. The Philadelphia Phillies have 29 wins, period.

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Spanish-born celebrity chef Jose Andres is pulling out of a deal to open a restaurant in Donald Trump’s new D.C. hotel, saying that the Donald’s “recent statements disparaging immigrants make it impossible for my company and I to move forward…. More than of my team is Hispanic, as are many of our guests.”

Seriously, does Trump have delusions that he can go into ANY restaurant these days and count on a decent meal?

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Jimmy Carter. “I believe Jesus would approve gay marriage,” he said. “That’s just my own personal opinion.” Well, Jesus DID hang around with 12 disciples.

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Can we start subtitling the 4th of July “Darwin Day”?  #Fireworks

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Sigh, now it comes out that Tampa Bay CB C.J. Wilson may have lost two fingers in that fireworks accident. Just don’t get it. Aren’t you supposed to get someone in your posse to shoot off your illegal fireworks?

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So apparently when NY Giants officials flew to Florida to visit injured player Jason Pierre-Paul, they were not allowed into his hospital room. Clearly a cautionary move by the DE to keep the team from making quick decisions about his future. Were that he had been so cautious with the fireworks..

 

 

From T.C. , If C.J Wilson and Jason Pierre-Paul don’t resign with their current teams, they certainly won’t end up with Green Bay.  The Packers are still trying to recruit players for their onside kicks “all hands” teams..

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Get in the game?

July 7, 2015

At the Minnesota Zoo, a grizzly bear threw a rock into a five-layer barrier hard enough to shatter the glass. Fortunately, there were no injuries. And the bear has been offered a tryout to pitch for the Red Sox.

 

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Seahawks QB Russell Wilson says he and his singer girlfriend Ciara are following “Jesus’s playbook” and not having pre-martial sex. So even God is telling Wilson not to attempt a pass?

 

 

Coral Springs, Florida police say they have dropped an investigation into the NY Giants’ Jason Pierre-Paulafter, who badly injured his hands with illegal fireworks, because it was “outside their jurisdiction.”
Possible translation. “With all the crap going in this state, you think we have time to worry about some idiot who’s already punished himself more than our judicial system ever could?”

 

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The PGA said today that this year’s PGA Grand Slam tournament will be moved from Los Angeles’s Trump National Golf Club. Amazing. Who knew it was possible to be un-PC enough to upset an organization run primarily by and for rich white men?

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Paula Deen is back in the headlines, this time for tweeting an four-year-old picture with her son Bobby in “brownface”, dressed up as Ricky Ricardo. Well, it’s not as if Deen has had any experience with social media before… ‪#‎cantfixstupid‬

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Donovan McNabb, 38, was arrested last night for his 2nd DUI in 2 years. Sounds like the former Eagles, Redskins and Vikings’ QB is trying just a bit too hard to act like he still belongs in the NFL

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From Marc Ragovin  “One of the Mets’ upcoming promotions is “Emoji Tee Shirt Night.”  With their offense I assume all the emojis will be frowny faces

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Rant time. Okay, again, the random shooting of a young woman on a San Francisco pier was awful. No question. But one woman is killed by a disturbed man who should have been deported and the GOP calls for a massive overhaul of immigration procedures.

Whereas nine people are killed in church by a disturbed man who should never have had a firearm, and the GOP sees no need to revisit gun control laws….

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Stars and no (pin) stripes?

July 7, 2015

All-Star starters are set. In the AL, there are four KC Royals, the leading vote getter is a Toronto Blue Jay, and there are NO players from the NY Yankees or Boston Red Sox. Not sure who those ballot box stuffers were, but they clearly don’t work for ESPN.

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Sportswriter Jeff Passan, lamenting the All-Star Game selections, complained about Clayton Kershaw being left off the team when he is the ‘Best Pitcher in the World.”  With all due respect, this year Kershaw might not even be the best pitcher on the Dodgers. #Greinke

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David West signs with San Antonio for $1.5 million, turning down $12 million with the Indiana Pacers. Either West really wants a ring, or he’s really bad at math.

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Manu Ginoboli tweeted today “Happy to announce that I’m coming back next season. ‪#‎gospursgo‬ ‪#‎TDwouldvemissedmetoomuch‬.” So the Spurs machine will just keep rolling along, albeit probably with its left blinker on.

So are the Spurs done with free agents? One or two more discount deals and their payroll on average may be lower than some SEC football teams.

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Lots of discussion in the media today about how the U.S. women’s “long 16 year World Cup drought is over.” And Cubs fans are just weeping.

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20 riders are out of the “Tour de France” after a horrific crash. Fortunately all should recover, although the leader fractured vertebrae in his back. But you have to think someone connected with bike racing is musing “so how regularly do we have to have these crashes to increase viewership?”

Greece’s finance minister has resigned. Now there’s a position right now that might be as unenviable as managing the Philadelphia Phillies.

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SC State Senator Lee Bright interrupted the Confederate flag debate to argue against gay marriage, saying the “devil is taking control of this land.” And adding “This country was founded on Judeo Christian principles….

Sounds like Senator Bright’s knowledge of history is as great as his empathy for same-sex couples.

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Re the release of Cosby’s deposition in his 2005 sexual assault case, looks like his lawyer was right – “It would be terribly embarrassing for this material to come out.”

“I’m shocked” said almost no women. ‪#‎hesaidshesaidshesaidshesaidshesaid‬…..

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Many NASCAR drivers are complaining over “pack racing”, because with so many similar cars bunched tightly together in one place during the competition, wrecks are likely. Sort of like the stage for the first GOP Presidential debate?

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USA, USA, USA

July 6, 2015

Congrats to the U.S. Women on their World Cup win. Can we go back to ignoring soccer now?

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(Of course, those who only follow and support men’s sports would say that U.S. men, by getting knocked out earlier, allow Americans to get back to paying attention to “real” sports sooner.)

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And a lot of 1st time watchers for Women’s World Cup thinking “Wait a minute, I thought this was the sport where no one scored? ‪

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Have to wonder about TV rates for the Women’s World Cup final.  Japan played competitively after they ended up down 4-0.   But for a while the women’s final looked to be a big enough train wreck to please even “Bachelorette’ fans.

Open note to ‪#‎SFGiants‬, if you are trying to win, probably a better idea to score more in a 3 game series  than the women’s team scores in the ‪#‎WorldCup‬ final.

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So ‪#‎USA‬ women ended up with more goals today than the ‪#‎KCRoyals‬ have All-Stars? Who’d a thunk it? ‪#‎FIFAWWCFinal‬ ‪#‎AllStarGame

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NY Giants star DE Jason Pierre-Paul will live and at least “not lose the use of his hand, after a Fourth of July accident with fireworks. But clearly there should be a subcategory of Darwin Awards where all you kill is your career.

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The Nationals have put.Stephen Strasburg on the DL with an oblique strain. Feeling a bit old because I remember baseball before players had obliques.

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Proving again why the Fourth of July is one of Darwin’s favorite holidays. In Maine, a 22-year-old died when he apparently lit a firework and tried to launch it off the top of his head. Police say he had been drinking. Ya think?

(The poor young man in question apparently played “Gaston” from Beauty and the Beast at Walt Disney World. Alas, too much typecasting?)

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The Grateful Dead had three last shows at Soldier Field and despite their possible musical failings, apparently performed in front of very happy capacity crowds. Hmm, wonder if medical marijuana prescriptions might someday be the answer for Chicago Bears’ fans.

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The gift that keeps on giving. Donald Trump today tweeted “Miss Universe, Pauline Vega, criticized me for telling the truth about illegal immigration, but then said she would keep the crown. Hypocrite,”
Almost as much of a hypocrite as someone who defends “traditional marriage” and has himself been married three times?

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Coke Zero 400 at Daytona finishes after 2:30am Eastern time. Wow. Normally when a sporting event in the U.S. finishes this late into the evening/morning, the Red Sox or Yankees are involved.

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Mickey mouse operations

July 5, 2015

Michael Eisner, former Disney CEO, said this week to Goldie Hawn at the Aspen Ideas Festival. “Boy I’m going to get in trouble, I know this goes online. But usually, unbelievably beautiful women – you being an exception – are not funny.”

Uh, one question, if you KNOW you’re going to get in trouble for a stupid remark, why say it?

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Major League Baseball outfitted all teams in blue hats with red and white starred numbers and letters on their jerseys for the Fourth of July.  With replicas already available for sale on line.  So the league both honored our country and demonstrated a true sense of what major U.S. sports are about -the ability to sell expensive stuff.

 

Donald Trump says that running for President is “bad for my brand.” Actually this is wrong, it’s not running for President, it’s the fact that Trump is opening his mouth and people are now paying attention to what’s coming out of it.

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More Trump. He said he didn’t realize that the corporate backlash to his comments about immigrants from Mexico would be “quite this severe.” If true, then the Donald has just admitted, again, that he’s too stupid to be president.

 

Matt Stonie, who ate 62 hot dogs to upset Joey Chestnut in this year’s Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating contest, told ESPN “I’ve trained hard for this. And millions of Americans at 4th of July BBQ’s are going “Yeah, yeah, I’m in training.”

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#‎HappyFourthofJuly‬. Where we celebrate USA independence by waving flags and shooting off fireworks that mostly are made in China.

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GB Packers TE Andrew Quarless was arrested this am after he allegedly fired a semi-automatic handgun into the air during an argument in Miami Beach. Although in Florida, unlike many states, discharging a firearm in public is only a misdemeanor instead of a felony. Hmm, wonder if the Dolphins and Buccaneers can use that law to lure free agents.

 

Billy Joel, 66, wed his 33-yr-old girlfriend on July 4. It’s the singer’s fourth marriage. Suppose Joel still probably didn’t serenade her with “Maybe this won’t last very long, But you feel so right, And I could be wrong…..

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Donald Trump is using the awful random killing shooting in SF as fodder for his anti-immigrant stance, tweeting “what do you say to the family of Kathryn Steinle in CA who was viciously killed b/c we can’t secure our border?”

Okay, so what does he say to the families of everyone who was viciously killed in Charleston, Sandy Hook etc, because we can’t secure our guns?

 

From T.C.  “Ballot stuffing has resulted in 5 Kansas City starters voted onto the AL All Star team. As the winner of the event gets World Series home field advantage, wouldn’t it be wiser for KC fans to vote in the entire Phillies team instead?”

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Go forth…

July 4, 2015

Today is Nathan’s Hot Dog East Contest. Fitting, on the 4th of July we have the one event where America can still prove our absolute superiority. ‪#‎eating‬

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But got to love the Fourth of July.  A holiday where Americans celebrate our Independence while buying things and shooting off fireworks from China.

 

George Takei has apologized for calling Clarence Thomas a “clown in blackface.” Is Takei apologizing for the “blackfare” reference, or for insulting clowns?

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ESPN reported Friday morning that the NY Mets had scored 23 runs in the last 17 days. Maybe they’re taking support of the US Women’s World Cup team a little too literally?

 

(And then the Mets won Friday night, 2-1.   )

 

In  late August, the NY Mets will play the Boston Red Sox, in the “Something’s got to give” series.  As my friend Joseph passed on in a comment he read somewhere “The only thing the Red Sox pitching staff has retired this season is Pedro Martinez’s uniform number.”

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Not a mirage, lots of Los Angeles fans actually still in the stands in the 9th inning of ‪#‎Dodgers‬ loss to ‪#‎Mets‬ Friday night.  Maybe they’ve actually decided they care more about the game than traffic…. Nah,  it was Fireworks Night.

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The NBA free agent market is really heating up. All it needs to be a serious TV event might be some of these players starting to hand out roses to their suitors.

 

Whole Foods is apologizing after an investigation found incorrect weights and overcharging on many of their items – . “Straight up, we made some mistakes, we want to own that.” Of course what the chain probably considers their biggest mistake was getting caught?

 

At around 230a Friday morning, a man decided to ignore “No swimming – alligators ” signs at a Texas marina. A gator promptly dragged him under the water and killed him. ‪#‎Darwinwouldbesoproud‬ ‪#‎Ifonlyhewasarmed‬

 

 

From Marc Ragovin  “Joe Maddon is being credited with sparking the Cubs’ recent sweep of the Mets by bringing a magician into the clubhouse prior to the series. Although with the Mets offense a mortician would have done just as well.”

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It’s not easy being green

July 3, 2015

Who knew, one of the few ways to get bipartisan agreement in this country is to suggest putting peas in guacamole? ‪#‎Justsayno‬

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Scary news for New Jersey residents – at least 30 toxic Portuguese man o’ wars have washed ashore on a state beach. Scary news for the man-o-wars – ending up somewhere as toxic as New Jersey.”

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So regarding this ex-CNN reporter who shot and killed an intruder when he and his ex-Headline News anchor wife were at a Motel 6 in Albuquerque. Motel 6?! Guess CNN doesn’t have much of a pension plan

 

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Tim Duncan announced he is returning to the San Antonio Spurs for a 19th season. What, no drama, no television show, no leaked contract issues, no public hang-wringing….? Can see why the Spurs never capture media attention.

 

Got to feel sorry for England’s Laura Bassett, whose “own goal” put Japan into the women’s World Cup Finals. On the bright side, ABC’s “Wide World of Sports” is off the air, so Bassett won’t forever be the fact of “The agony of defeat.”

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The St. Louis Post-Dispatch reports the Cardinals have fired their scouting director Chris Correa after he admitted to hacking into the Houston Astros’ database. Wonder how much of a “pension” he will get for falling on his sword and claiming no one else was involved.

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Milwaukee bullpen catcher Marcus Hanel set a Citizens Bank Park record yesterday by eating 18 cheesesteaks over a 3-game period. The Red Sox hope no one shows this story to Pablo Sandoval.

 

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David Sweat now insists from his hospital bed that he didn’t have sex with the female prison worker accused of helping him escape, and that it was her idea to kill her husband. Can they sell the movie rights to this to pay for the costs of Sweat’s future incarceration?

 

SFPD has been arresting people selling illegal fireworks in Chinatown. When they find the buyers, they cite them and confiscate the fireworks. Uh, really want to deal with the problem? Arrest the buyers too. The market is likely to dry up pretty fast if these morons figured they could end up in jail, even for a day, over their purchases.

(I’m against “nanny laws” in general, but in a drought year, fireworks could easily start a fire that ends up killing people.)

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Right about now the happiest people in England have to be those who were ridiculed for arguing against the United Kingdom switching to the Euro.

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Goal (s)!

July 1, 2015
The US beat Germany and is going to the Women’s World Cup final. Many Americans are so excited they might actually watch part of the game. ‪#‎USAUSAUSA‬

Just wondering, am I allowed to start a business and refuse clients who don’t believe in the Church of Baseball? ‪#‎religiousfreedom‬

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The Justice Department is investigating possible airline collusion on airfares. When they wrap up the investigation the DOJ’s next project will no doubt be determining if water is wet.
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Wednesday was the first day that recreational marijuana is legal in Oregon. It was  also the first day NBA free agents can sign with teams? ‪#‎Coincidence‬? ‪#‎Trailblazers‬
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It was 87 degrees with 34% humidity and everyone is complaining about how unbearably hot it is. Yes, Northern Californians are weather wimps.
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Recently released emails show that Hillary Clinton didn’t know how to work the office fax machine. Said everyone under 30, “what’s a fax machine?”
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The Boston Globe is reporting that Tom Brady and his wife Gisele Bundche, have apparently hit a snag in their efforts to o join The Country Club (TCC) in Brookline, Mass. It may be because the couple are too famous. Or maybe members don’t trust Tom around their inflatable water toys.
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#‎SFGiants‬ just DFA’ed ‪#‎McGehee‬, MLB leader in GIDP’s. Now ‪#‎Casilla‬ is one away from MLB lead in blown saves. Not titles you want to win.
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Jim Carrey called California Gov. Jerry Brown a ‘corporate fascist who must be stopped” and said the CDC was “corrupt” after Brown signed a mandatory vaccine bill. Maybe Carrey took that “Bruce Almighty” role a little too seriously?
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Now Macy’s is the latest to end their relationship with Donald  Trump over his comments from referring to immigrants from Mexico as “killers and rapists.” Well, maybe this is another part of Presidential candidate Trump’s jobs program – creating a lot of new job opportunities as his own company gets fired.
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A Tennessee hardware store owner put up a sign saying, “No Gays Allowed.” because he says homosexuality is against his religion and that if LGBT’s can stand up for what they believe in so should Christians.

Okay, fine, what about the “No Fornicators Allowed” sign? You know, adulterers, people having premarital sex, remarried divorced people….

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Blue Jays 11, Red Sox 2, Toronto batters rapped out 16 hits. Maybe Boston pitchers didn’t realize that Canada Day, while a holiday, does not generally require the giving of gifts.

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