Posted tagged ‘DeAndre Jordan jokes’

Following the money?

July 9, 2015

Okay, Greece needs about a $53 billion dollar bailout. Here’s a way to kill two birds with one stone. Let’s move the U.S. Presidential Primary to Greece, along with all the consultants, media, etc. That should be well over a $53 billion injection of money into their economy. And we in America will only have to watch “plausibly live” highlights on tape delay..

Reince Priebus, chair of the RNC, reportedly called Donald Trump and told him to “tone it down” on immigration. Wonder if DNC chair Debbie Wasserman Schultz called Trump to remind him of his first amendment right to free speech.

 

 

Donald Trump just said in a CNN interview “I don’t know. I really don’t know,” when asked about President Obama being born in this country. “I don’t know why he wouldn’t release his records.”

At this point many people are beginning to wonder if Trump was born on this planet.

And Geoffrey Zakarian is the latest chef to drop out of Trump’s new hotel in Washington, D.C.. over those immigration comments.  When Trump sorts out his restaurants, thinking he may have some REAL issues getting housekeeping staff.

Miami Marlins have signed Casey McGehee after the SF Giants released him yesterday. Well, maybe with all their injuries the Marlins figure they won’t have many opportunities with runners on base for McGehee to hit into a double play.

Clayton Kershaw hasn’t had a great 2015. But Wednesday night he threw a complete game shutout against Philadelphia. Good for him, but does pitching against the Phillies count as a rehab assignment?

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Thursday morning ‪#‎LeBron‬ has to be reading news & thinking “And they thought my ESPN show was the worst way to handle a decision.” ‪#‎DeAndreJordan‬

U.S. officials say now that they thwarted “a number” of terror plots timed to July 4. Can we blame Obama?

 

Wow, just wow. Jeb Bush on fixing the economy: “People need to work longer hours and through their productivity gain more income for their families. That’s the only way we are going to get out of this rut that we’re in.”

And they thought Jeb’s brother was out of touch?

If Jeb Bush’s “work longer hours” comment is really aimed at all the people who want to work full-time but are stuck in part-time jobs, then where is his statement condemning big corporations who DELIBERATELY schedule as many workers as possible just under the full-time threshold to avoid paying benefits?

While he’s at it, Jeb can decry all the corporations, hotels and airlines for example, who fire full-time employees and replace them with low priced hourly contract workers who also don’t get full-time work and benefits.

‪#‎crickets‬

 

 

Taco Bell is testing home delivery in 200 locations in California and Texas. Wouldn’t it make more sense to try the idea out in say, Washington and Colorado?

 

From Bill Littlejohn . “The Spurs’ Matt Bonner says that tennis elbow caused by his iPhone led to his poor shooting.Tennis elbow from an iPhone–is that a case of ‘server error'”

Technical issues?

July 8, 2015

Are we looking at the VP of Computer Operations at United Airlines or the NYSE?

 

 

 

johnnie

 

The Department of Homeland Security says ‘No signs of malicious activity’ in NYSE and United Airline computer crashes. Yeah, makes sense, terrorism is no match for good old-fashioned incompetence.

 

#‎DeAndreJordan‬ is now Brett Favre’s favorite NBA player.

 

San Antonio Spurs have to be sitting back and laughing at these emoji wars between the Clippers and Mavericks. Especially since they probably wooed LaMarcus Aldridge with smoke signals.

 

So ‪#‎NBA‬ schedule isn’t out yet, but just guessing ‪#‎Clippers‬ ‪#‎Mavericks‬ first 2015 matchup will be scheduled for national prime time television

 

You think while Clippers were hanging out at DeAndre  Jordan’s house maybe they could have given him some free throw lessons?

 

A 58 year old Florida woman who was at the Dayton Coke Zero 400 told an interviewer THROUGH HER LAWYER, “I thought I was going to die when that car came flying right at me “The whole event was just terrifying. I am happy to be alive.”

The woman and her adult son, who say they do not have health insurance, were treated at the track, and not sent to the hospital. But they are now talking to medical specialists.. Their lawyer says they just want current and future medical costs taken care of….

Two words. Yeah. Right.

So the All-Star Game Home Run Derby will now be timed, with five minutes per batter per round, but bonus time for hitting home runs over 420 or 475 feet. This isn’t a batting contest, it’s a video game.

 

 

Baseball trivia of the day: The St. Louis Cardinals have 26 comeback wins this year. The Philadelphia Phillies have 29 wins, period.

Spanish-born celebrity chef Jose Andres is pulling out of a deal to open a restaurant in Donald Trump’s new D.C. hotel, saying that the Donald’s “recent statements disparaging immigrants make it impossible for my company and I to move forward…. More than of my team is Hispanic, as are many of our guests.”

Seriously, does Trump have delusions that he can go into ANY restaurant these days and count on a decent meal?

Jimmy Carter. “I believe Jesus would approve gay marriage,” he said. “That’s just my own personal opinion.” Well, Jesus DID hang around with 12 disciples.

Can we start subtitling the 4th of July “Darwin Day”?  #Fireworks

Sigh, now it comes out that Tampa Bay CB C.J. Wilson may have lost two fingers in that fireworks accident. Just don’t get it. Aren’t you supposed to get someone in your posse to shoot off your illegal fireworks?

So apparently when NY Giants officials flew to Florida to visit injured player Jason Pierre-Paul, they were not allowed into his hospital room. Clearly a cautionary move by the DE to keep the team from making quick decisions about his future. Were that he had been so cautious with the fireworks..

 

 

From T.C. , If C.J Wilson and Jason Pierre-Paul don’t resign with their current teams, they certainly won’t end up with Green Bay.  The Packers are still trying to recruit players for their onside kicks “all hands” teams..