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What’s in a name?

October 9, 2013

Washington owner  Dan Snyder about the Redskins name “It isn’t just where we came from — it’s who we are.” “Who we are?” Well, guess “Sucky Football Team” doesn’t fit on a jersey.

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In the SF Bay Area, BART unions are apparently ready to strike for a second time. Apparently trying to see if it’s possible to get even more unpopular than Congress.

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This might be a more controversial post than the shutdown lines, but here goes:

When interviewed for local radio and asked for his NLDS prediction, Chipper Jones had predicted LA would beat Atlanta in 4 games.  So the entire Braves team boycotted his throwing out the ceremonial first pitch for game 1, and Chipper had to throw to the mascot. Sounds like Atlanta is just as classy as their fans’ Tomahawk Chop.

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Back to the shutdown:

The House would need 217 votes to pass a CR (clean resolution) to end the government shutdown. Apparently as of today there are 219 “yes” votes. Math, another of those commie pinko liberal concepts.

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Yahoo just changed their mail interface without any warning at all. Just who does Marissa Mayer think she is, the CEO of Facebook?

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Congress’s approval rating is now at 5%. Wow. There are actually 5% of Americans who think they are doing a good job?

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Who says Congress isn’t suffering along with the rest of the country? Sen. Ted Cruz told People magazine that his wife and two daughters couldn’t visit the National Zoo and museums last weekend. So they went apple-picking and visited Mount Vernon. Ah that American resilience during tough times….

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12 people were stuck nearly 3 hours tonight at Universal Studios Orlando on a roller coaster that broke down. As opposed to the millions of people that are still stuck for days across the country with the roller coaster of the government shutdown..

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Chris Christie has said he is against the GOP shutdown tactics. Makes sense, because since he thinks he’ll be elected President in 2016 he doesn’t want the Dems to try the same B.S. on him.

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Cowboys defensive coordinator Monte Kiffin said that people should blame him, not Tony Romo, for the team’s loss to the Broncos. USC fans are shocked – a Kiffin taking responsibility for anything?

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Travel agent face palm moment of the day, clients ask for several very deluxe rooms in a particular tropical resort area in late December. Warn them that this could be difficult because most such places sell out far in advance for Christmas. The response “That’s okay, we don’t celebrate Christmas…”

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Washington coach Steve Sarkasian claimed that Stanford faked injuries to slow down the Huskies’ offense in last week’s game. Except that the two players who briefly left the game were Ben Gardner and Shayne Skov,  star seniors who are probable NFL draft choices. So if Cardinal coach David Shaw were to fake injuries, Sarkasian doesn’t think he’s smart enough to fake them with marginal players?

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From Jim Barach  “Snooki from “Jersey Shore” has opened up about her struggle with anorexia in high school. Fans of the show were shocked. Snooki went to high school?

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The Pretenders?

October 7, 2013

USC announced that imposters pretending to be from the University contacted both Jack Del Rio and Tony Dungy about their vacant coaching position. There’s a certain symmetry, for years, Lane Kiffin was pretending to be a big time coach.

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Beginning to think God is really really tired of that tomahawk chop

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Philadelphia and Dallas are tied for the NFC East lead, with 2-3 records. It’s early days yet, but to make the NFL playoffs, shouldn’t your team be good enough at least to be bowl eligible.

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In an interview with New York Magazine, Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia talked the “coarsening” of society, due to “the constant use of the F-word — including, you know, ladies using it.” Of course, many of the “ladies” using the F-word have been using it in response to some of Scalia’s statements.

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Eli Manning today in a radio appearance “I don’t think I’m playing lousy.” Fair enough. “Lousy” would be an improvement.

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Flori-duh moment of the day. Freshman GOP Rep. Tom Yoho, on if the U.S. fails to raise the debt limit. “I think, personally, it would bring stability to the world markets.” (Before he ran for Congress, his first elected office, Yoho was a large-animal veterinarian….)

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This just in: PETA is protesting the Tampa Bay win as being cruel to actual Rays. #stingraypoolwalkoff

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The Denver Broncos are a NFL record 28-point favorite over the Jacksonville Jaguars this week. Have to wonder if the spread would be less if the Broncos were playing the FSU Seminoles.

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QB Matt Flynn was cut today by Oakland. He’s made $14.51 million in the last two years from the Raiders and Seahawks, and started exactly one game. With that kind of performance to pay ratio what’s Flynn’s next move – a run for Congress?

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The Redskins return from their bye week next Sunday. Disappointing all fans who thought they were one of the few good things to be shutdown in Washington.

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Oops. In Los Angeles, the school district spent $1 billion to give 650,000 plus students iPads. Only problem, the high school kids cracked the security settings so they could play games and post on social media during class. On the brighter side, American ingenuity is alive and well.

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As the shutdown continues, it’s interesting that the party that has made such an issue of the sanctity of voting and the need to tighten requirements to avoid voter fraud, is also the party that sees no need to take an actual vote…

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Ah technology, United Airlines sent a  message about booking a hotel on United.com for a new reservation to Los Angeles. For a same-day roundtrip. Makes you feel real warm and fuzzy about their autopilot.

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Not the best and the brightest.

September 22, 2013

Some discussion on whether or not Redskins should change their name. After this week D.C. residents are thinking to avoid embarrassment maybe the team should drop the “Washington.”

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If team keeps playing like the last 2 weeks wonder how long it will take San Franciscans to ask them to change name to Santa Clara #49ers?

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But really, watching the NFC East, are we sure it’s not too late to make an exception to the NFL rule that someone has to win every division?

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Mick Jagger is going to be a great-grandfather. Wonder if the baby will grow up to buy his/her first beer at a Rolling Stones’ farewell concert.

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At this point fans who buy tickets to see games involving the Houston Astros are just paying for the live-action version of a forfeit.

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A lot of people are just discovering you don’t bet against #AndrewLuck in the San Francisco Bay Area. #Gostanford #Cardinalrules

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The injustice of it all. How did Fox & Friends get left out of the Emmy nominations for best comedy? #Emmys

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French customs officials intercepted 1.3 TONS of cocaine in checked luggage on an Air France flight from Venezuela to Paris. This would never have happened on a U.S. airline. The smugglers wouldn’t have paid the excess baggage charges.

Looks like SF may have some competition for most disappointing sports team named Giants in 2013.

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Michigan managed to beat Akron by 4, and escaped with a 3 point win over Connecticut. Maybe they have a chance of covering next week’s spread… against “bye week.”

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ESPN is reporting that Von Miller and his urine collector tried to beat the NFL drug testing by substituting another person’s specimen. Which might have worked except someone discovered that the Broncos LB was not in the city where his collection was supposed to have taken place. A source says there is concern the NFL may have a problem beyond Miller and the collector involved. Ya think…..

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No laughing matter?

September 11, 2013

As we remember September 11, some think it’s inappropriate to joke on such a solemn anniversary. But I think if we can’t laugh, the terrorists win.

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My friend Keith Ogden, who I agree with on politics about 10% of the time, made a comment that reminded me of one of the greatest things about this country: As much as you may not like how the USA is run, or who is running it, or who wants to run it, you can joke about things all you want, and you don’t get arrested or worse.

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McDonald’s has a new “Blitz Box” meal, which contains 2 Quarter Pounders with cheese, 10 Chicken McNuggets and two medium fries. They market it for “two or more.” Well, for many Americans that’s plausible deniability anyway.

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Forbes.com reports that tickets for the Alabama-Texas A&M game are going for an average of $763 online. Wonder how many of those ticket buyers will spend much of the game criticizing Johnny Manziel for making money from autographs

 

What could POSSIBLY go wrong here? Disney is re-releasing “The Little Mermaid” on September 13. And encouraging kids to be “part of her world” by bringing their iPads etc. to interact with their “Disney Second Screen Live” app….during the movie.

 

Some sports reporters are starting not to use the “Redskins” nickname and will simply say “Washington football team.” Fortunately, if week 1 was any indication, there will be no need for this awkward phrasing to continue into the postseason.

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USC coach Lane Kiffin said there was no team meeting after the Trojans’ embarrassing loss to WSU. But WR Marqise Lee confirmed it was a players-only meeting. “Kiffin don’t know,.. Kiffin don’t know nothing about it.” Sounds like Lane knows as much about his team as he does about coaching football.

 

Some cheerleaders at a Texas public high school who want to display bible verses on banners at football games, have hired a lawyer to fight what a local politician called an effort at “imposing San Francisco liberalism in every community in Texas.” Uh, really? Don’t think most liberals are that worried about banners in football, we’re a little more concerned about imposing things like science in textbooks.

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Tweet from Colts owner Jim Irsay on protecting Andrew Luck: “we gotta protect #12 better..and that includes more than just OL…it’s backs,TE’s,coaches on blitz pick ups..I DEMAND better” Right, because last week they just weren’t trying.

 

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Following the defeats of Elliot Spitzer and Anthony Weiner, comes the news that Mark Sanchez may be out for the year. “Oh, the horror”, said NY comedy writers…

 

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Ndamukong Suh is appealing his $100,000 fine as excessive. Guess he figures it’s too big a chunk of his annual fine fund?

 

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Bobby Valentine, talking on the radio today, said his Mets team was “tired” and “wasted” after 9/11, because they had been going to the funerals and firehouse. And stated “”Let it be said that during the time from 9/11 to 9/21, the Yankees were [AWOL], You couldn’t find a Yankee on the streets of New York City. You couldn’t find a Yankee down at Ground Zero, talking to the guys who were working 24/7. Many of them didn’t live here, and so it wasn’t their fault….” Wow, it’s sensitivity and judgment like that that is the reason Valentine is employed in a major league clubhouse today….not.

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Cam, we hardly knew ye.

January 14, 2011

Or at least beyond what the NCAA considered reasonable doubt.

Auburn quarterback and Heisman winner Cam Newton declared for the NFL draft.  Just in time for the NCAA to complete their investigation and say he WOULD have been suspended for the 2011 season.

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Newton was asked, if like Andrew Luck, he has plans some day to complete his degree. His response “What’s a degree?”

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One good fit for Cam Newton might be playing for Pete Carroll in Seattle.  After all, after all Carroll’s years at USC, who else has more experience in dealing with semi-pro players?.

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Football coach Les Miles has agreed to a seven year contract at LSU. This way he might see some of his current freshmen actually graduate.

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The San Jose Sharks have  now lost six games in a row.   Who do they think they are?  The Maple Leafs?

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Stand by for Waffle Night at the Shark Tank.  Or maybe since this is the food-obsessed Bay Area, Crepes.

(Note to non-hockey fans, disgruntled Leafs fans, if that isn’t redundant,  started throwing waffles on the ice to express their displeasure with the team, although Toronto is actually winning lately.)

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Ted Williams, the formerly homeless man with the amazing voice, is headed to rehab. Well, we knew he wanted to get into acting. Maybe he wants to work with Lindsay Lohan.

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New Cardinal head football coach David Shaw, 38, says he wants to be a “lifer” at Stanford. Don’t laugh, he’s starting out in the job two years younger than Joe Paterno was when he took over at Penn State.

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Cunard’s ships the Queen Mary, Queen Victoria and Queen Elizabeth all sailed together in New York harbor Thursday and were honored with a fireworks display.   It was the most gala event involving three British queens since Queen Elizabeth and the Queen Mother attended an Elton John concert.

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Condoleezza Rice apparently once told the NY Times that football “is a kind of national pastime that brings people together across social lines, across racial lines.” She’s right, if you asked people in D.C. who they’d most like to see run out of town, at the top of most people’s lists – rich, poor, black, white – would be Redskins owner Dan Snyder.

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Augie commented on a joke about the BWI Ravens that maybe they should be the IAD Redskins.  Though I think most D.C. fans would call them the DOA Redskins.

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Benched, bothered and bewildered.

December 17, 2010

So the Redskins benched Donovan McNabb in favor of Rex Grossman.  Wonder how many folks in Chicago are recovering from beer, milk, wine coming out of their nose?

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Michigan State Coach Tom Izzo will sit out Michigan State’s game on Saturday against Prairie View A&M, after receiving a one game suspension for a “secondary” rules violiation involving hiring an associate of a potential recruit.

Really? A one game suspension against Prairie View A&M.  Wonder if the NCAA will also make sure Izzo gets medical attention for that slap on the wrist?

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With the Broncos’ regular QB  Kyle Orton ailing, there is a chance Tim Tebow could start Sunday for Denver. There is some concern that the former Heisman winner may not yet be NFL ready. Although based on their record, neither are the rest of the Broncos.

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The Big 10 has announced they are “reconsidering” their “Leaders” and “Legends” designations for their two new football divisions starting in 2012.

What was their first clue?   All the computer science and engineering students students signing up to play online?

Big Ten commissioner Jim Delany said he was “surprised” by fan reaction, which he referred to as a “90 percent nonapproval rating.”   Yeah, that is surprising.  10 percent of fans like the names?

From Bill Littlejohn”  Suddenly the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim doesn’t sound so bad.

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The Beef O’Brady’s Bowl,  pitting Louisville against Southern Miss, will be played December 21 at Tropicana Field in St. Petersburg,.  Is this some sort of experiment to see if they can find a sporting event that will underdraw the Tampa Bay Rays?

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Yao Ming is out for the year with a stress fracture in this ankle. Which means that Jeremy Lin, from Palo Alto High School and Harvard,  is currently the best Asian player in the NBA.

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Stanford coach Jim Harbaugh will accept the Woody Hayes award for coaching from the Touchdown Club in Columbus in February, and he says he is thrilled bcause “Woody is one of my heroes.” Anyone still think Harbaugh is a frontrunner to coach at Michigan?

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Poor performances.

November 17, 2010
Charles Rangel was found guilty on 10 counts by the House Ethics Committee. This was shocking news to most Americans – the House HAS ethics?
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Despite stories of Donovan McNabb’s new $40 million contract being guaranteed, the Washington Redskins only have to pay $3.5 million if they cut him at the end of the season.  Translation, Brett Favre has a better chance of playing opening day in 2011 than McNabb.
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Pick your punchline – bipartisan joke.
The Redskins’ being routed 59-28 by the Philadelphia Eagles night…..
a.  Was the most disappointing performance in Washington history, well, since the current lame-duck Congress.
b. Will be the most disappointing performance in Washington history, well, until the new Congress takes over.
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In New Jersey, residents can now buy personalized license plates proclaiming that they are New Jersey Nets fans. Although the DMV has been instructed to give anyone who asks for such a plate a breathalyzer test.
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Actually, there might be one reason to buy a New Jersey Nets plate.  As a ruse to cover up the embarrassment of actually being a Knicks fan.
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A bomb threat Monday at Ohio State resulted in classes being cancelled in three academic buildings and the library being closed. At least that means no football players were affected.
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In the first episode of “Sarah Palin’s Alaska,” Sarah showed off a “baby-gate” on the stairs that she said was not only for Trig, but to keep her 16 year old daughter Willow’s boyfriend from going upstairs. Yeah, that worked out so well with Bristol.
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Facebook is starting up an email application. Let’s see, so this means the site could thus be used for both things you post casually to share with hundreds of people, as well as private communications between only you and your closest friends. What could possibly go wrong?
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The makers of “Four Loko”, a sweet alcoholic drink, have announced they will remove caffeine from their product.  Apparently the FDA is planning to ban caffeinated alcoholic beverages as unsafe. Wow. Good thing no one’s ever tried to put whiskey, sugar and cream in coffee.
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Cam Newton of Auburn remains eligible while the NCAA and FBI investigate allegations of him or his family being paid for him to choose a university.  But the Heisman committee may be justifiably afraid of voting for someone who may end up stripped of their trophy.
Meanwhile there’s always Oregon’s LaMichael James, perhaps the best running back in the country.   He’s only on two years probation (legal, not academic) from this past spring, after serving 10 days in jail for harrassing his former girlfriend.
And they wonder why some NFL players seem to think they can get away with anything.
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Carnival Cruise Lines has cancelled all sailings on the Splendour through mid January because of the fire  
The bad news for many travelers, they won’t be spending the holidays at sea with their families. The good news for some travelers, they won’t be spending the holidays at sea with their families.
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Timing is everything:  Lloyd’s Register, the international standards organization for ship classification and design , apparently is working with several companies to look into the feasibility of nuclear-powered commercial ships, including cruise ships.

I can see it now, the Carnival Glow Worm.

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Beginnings and endings.

January 6, 2010

Mike Shanahan appears to be ready to accept the job as coach of the Washington Redskins. For non-sports fans, this is essentially the equivalent of signing on to be the fifth trophy wife of a billionaire. The odds favor the contract being dissolved, but you can profit nicely on the pre-nup.

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The Big Unit, Randy Johnson, retired tonight after 22 seasons. He received a number of phone calls, texts and emails from fellow athletes, including one from Brett Favre. Which simply said “The first time is the hardest.”

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Game time temperature was 48 degrees in Miami for the Orange Bowl. But the Iowa Hawkeyes prevailed, despite the blazing heat. (Note to non-midwesterns, game time temp in Iowa City, minus 1 degrees, wind chill to -12.)

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USC penalized their basketball program themselves after an internal investigation into recruiting violations regarding O.J. Mayo. In related news, the investigation into payments made to former Trojan Reggie Bush continues, and the NCAA hopes to wrap it up before Bush retires from the NFL.

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The FAA suspended all flights in and out of Bakersfield airport Tuesday after “hazardous material” was found in luggage there. Americans were shocked. Bakersfield has an airport?

(note, the hazardous substance turned out to be honey. seriously. the weight loss fanatics are taking over…)

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San Francisco 49ers coach Mike Singletary said in a post-season news conference that his team is “just a few players away.” Unfortunately, those players are Joe Montana, Jerry Rice, and Ronnie Lott.

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In the category of “wish I’d written this,” from Jerry Perisho:
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South Carolina first lady Jenny Sanford’s memoir about dealing with her husband’s affair will be released in February, rather than May as originally planned.… Mark Sanford’s Argentine mistress said, “A typical Sanford, always finishing early.”

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Taking a shot at it…

January 5, 2010

Unclear on the concept award for Gilbert Arenas, who said the guns in the locker room incident was “a joke.” Note to Gilbert, real guns are never a joke. Now the Wizards’ record this year – THAT’S a joke.

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The next home of the NHL Winter Classic – an outdoor hockey game – is rumored to be Citi Field. Presumably the game could even be played in September. That’s when Mets fans are most used to seeing a cold team.

Or they could schedule the outdoor game at Citi Field in October. The Mets won’t be using it.

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A new biography of Warren Beatty puts the actor second only to Wilt Chamberlain in the promiscuity department, claiming Beatty slept with over 12,000 women. But to be fair, they haven’t publicity released all of Tiger’s texts yet.
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Warren Beatty now says that reports of him having slept with 12,774 women are a “gross exaggeration.” Apparently he says the number is 11,000 max.

One issue with this alleged “body count” is simply the time involved. If the number is anywhere near accurate, then the movie Beatty should have made was clearly “Gone in 60 seconds.”
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75 years ago this week United Airlines announced they cut the travel time for U.S. transcontinental flights down to 18 hours. Which, curiously enough, is about as long as it will take once TSA finishes tinkering with security.

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So despite Redskins coach Jim Zorn having signed a five year contract, he was fired today after two years for poor performance. Any chance Americans could work out a deal like that for those elected to Congress?

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After NFL week 17.

January 4, 2010

The Vikings beat the Giants. So their fans can look forward to a bye-week. The Redskins had another late minute loss against the Chargers. Now THEIR fans can look forward to 35 bye-weeks.

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After trailing at halftime 3-0, the San Francisco 49ers scored 21 points in the fourth quarter to beat the St. Louis Rams 28-6. Making them the winner of one of the day’s “Stupor Bowls.”

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With so many playoff berths already decided, several teams decided to rest some starters. Others just decided to mail it in. Which gave folks across the country a little taste of what it’s like to be Rams fans.

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So the latest rumor on the Wizards gun incident: Gilbert Arenas and Javaris Crittenton started arguing on the team plane about a card game, the argument escalated, and then Crittenton jokes that he would shoot Arenas in his often-injured knee. Then when the team showed up for practice Dec 21, Arenas put three guns on a chair next to Crittenton with a note that read, “Pick one.” Which he meant as a joke. But Crittenton got angry, threw one of the guns across the room and said he had his own gun.

This isn’t an NBA season, it’s a remake of “Dumb and Dumber.”
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A tacky but funny joke from Alex Kaseberg:

An 18- year UCLA study reveals 75% of kids see their parents naked and are not traumatized. Unless either of their parents is named Michael Moore, Kirsty Alley or Al Gore.

Alex also does a bit on “Words that should never appear together,” as in “Interpretive Jazz” or “Discount Sushi.”

And in that spirit – “Rams Highlights.”

Redundant phrase of the day- Raiders Interim Coach

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While the Cincinnati Bengals had clinched a playoff spot, and didn’t have much to play for except pride, they still undercut all expectations by losing 37 to 0 to the New York Jets. Normally when the Bengals have been involved in something this embarrassing, the police are involved.

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American Airlines is being investigated for three botched landing incidents, two when the planes touched wingtips to the ground upon landing, the third where the plane ran off the runway and broke apart in Jamaica.

The airline says they are cooperating, and will update their slogan from “Something special in the air” to add “but something less so on the tarmac.”

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Another American slogan is “Doing what we do best.” Apparently that’s just takeoffs.

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Curiously, American is the featured airline in the movie “Up in the Air.” Who knew the title would also turn out to be the safest place for their planes.
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Jean Carroll passed away last weekend at the age of 99. While the name originally didn’t mean much to me, her obituary appeared in Sunday’s New York Times. She was one of the very first female comics, and had to endure a lot of criticism from those who felt it was inappropriate for women to do stand-up. She was also apparently an inspiration to the great Lily Tomlin, amongst others. The following is what the Times considered her best joke.
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“… The thing that attracted me to my husband was his pride. I’ll never forget the first time I saw him, standing up on a hill, his hair blowing in the breeze — and he was too proud to run and get it.”

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Military intelligence and other oxymorons

December 22, 2009

Since the troops are stretched so thin, a new order from the general in charge of northern Iraq makes getting pregnant or impregnating a fellow soldier an offense punishable by court-martial. Wouldn’t it be simpler to just ban heterosexuals from the military?

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Three USC players were declared academically ineligible for the Emerald Bowl. Isn’t being declared academically ineligible at USC like being a woman and getting turned down for sex by Tiger Woods?

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Snow postponed and nearly NFL games in Philadelphia and Baltimore on Sunday. Unfortunately for Redskins fans their Monday night game went on as scheduled.

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NFL players are being encouraged to donate their brains to science. Washington fans are also encouraging Redskins owner Dan Synder to donate his brain as well. Since it hasn’t been used in years.

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So the AP male athlete of the year is… NASCAR’s Jimmie Johnson? I guess 800 horsepower of machinery isn’t considered performance enhancing?

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A new Department of Transportation rule will limit the time airlines can keep passengers stranded onboard on the tarmac to three hours. Unless Joe Lieberman is on board, in which case the delay shall simply be referred to as a “filibuster.”

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Congrats to country music star Carrie Underwood, who is now engaged to Mike Fisher, who plays hockey for the NHL Ottawa Senators. Her fans are asking “What’s hockey?” His fans are asking “What’s country music?”
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Adam Lambert appeared on Jay Leno’s show Monday night. I guess they figured if he kissed a boy NBC wanted him to do it somewhere where no one would notice.

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The New York Yankees luxury tax this year, over $25 million. The Florida Marlines payroll, $35 million. What more do you need to know about baseball?

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Schwarzenegger and other rock stars.

November 25, 2009

It wasn’t embarassing enough for TMZ to catch his wife Maria Schriver driving while holding a cellphone and parking illegally. Now Governor Schwarzenegger has also been photographed with HIS Porsche parked illegally. But maybe this means Arnold’s next job should be with the 49ers. At least he knows how to get into the red zone.

(any reader outside California feel free to substitute “Redskins.”

Speaking of Washington, once again the Redskins are embroiled in a controversy and a lawsuit over whether their name is derogatory towards Indians. Although if Cleveland gets much worse, expect a lawsuit over their name being potentially derogatory – from Crayola over the color Brown.

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Has anyone else notice how many politicians send nice emails this time of year saying things like “Time for Thanks,” or “Thanks for all your Support,”, or something similar? And then at the bottom of the email is always a button to solicit donations.

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After his racy performance at the American Music Awards, Adam Lambert’s appearance on Good Morning America was cancelled. Apparently ABC felt it would be inappropriate for a potential family audience. Instead, they spent the time discussing Carrie Prejean’s sex tapes and Mark Sanford’s ethics violations.

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Or interviewing US Air’s pilot hero. And if Captain “Sully” Sullenberger is now having “rock star sex” after his heroic landing, does that mean he is kissing his co-pilot and simulating gay acts?

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I suppose I shouldnt go there on the idea that, okay, “Sully” gets “rock star sex” for landing the plane in the Hudson… what do those Northwest pilots get for missing Minneapolis? The obvious thought is that that their wives said that it wasn’t unusual for them to get distracted and miss the target. But other suggestions encouraged.

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Former Miss California Carrie Prejean is dating former Cal and current Rams backup quarterback Kyle Boller. In fact, Prejean dedicated her book to him. For his part Boller says Carrie’s giving him a whole new appreciation for watching tape.

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Awaiting the Winter Classic.

October 26, 2009

Yet another example of why we all love the Yankees….

C.C. Sabathia, after New York won the ALCS “It’s not really a surprise that we are here.

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Makes sense now that they are the Los Angeles Angels instead of the California Angels. More “E’s

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Questions of the day.

What’s more likely?

President Obama getting more than 1 or 2 Senate Republicans to vote for his healthcare bill.

or

The Washington Redskins winning another game this season?

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First Steve Phillips was fired for his latest affair with a young staffer, after basically leaving the Mets for the same reason. Now Bob Griese has been suspended for a stupid racial remark about NASCAR driver Juan Pablo Montoya. Is it time to change the network’s slogan to “Expect Something Puerile Nightly?”

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According to his publicist, fired ESPN analyst Steve Phillips has checked himself into a rehab center and is “not a sleazebag.” So what makes a man someone who “just needs help” and not a sleazebag? Apparently having the money for rehab.

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So the Northwest pilots’ latest excuse is that they were working on their laptops on “crew scheduling.” Wonder what “crew scheduling” is the code for – porn or “Freecell?”

And if they actually were distracted because the crew scheduling was complicated, what happens when they have to do something even more complicated. Like reading a 757’s instruction manual?

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The Pac 10 today suspended an official for missing a personal foul/face mask call in the USC-Oregon State game. After a OSU touchdown, USC safety Taylor Mays basically ripped the receiver’s helmet off. No word from the Trojans on any disciplinary action for Mays. Maybe the school’s initials should be UCS, University of Cheap Shots.

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Commie pinko thought of the night.

If government messes everything up and the public option is such a bad idea, how come we aren’t hearing about all the demonstrations from seniors who want to be released from Medicare?

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First in war, first in peace, and last in the National Football League…

October 20, 2009

The Washington Redskins are again facing controversy because some people feel that their nickname defames Native Americans. Of course, these days, the problem is that you can’t find an animal, a fictional character or even a color that would want to be associated with this team.

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Okay, technically the Washington Redskins don’t even have the worst record in the NFL. But they have attained their 2-4 record by playing six previously winless teams. So they get points for trying harder.

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Mike Shanahan apparently has turned down an offer to coach the Redskins. He figures if he moves to Washington he would like a less stressful job – like bringing peace to the Mideast.

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Weird NFL stat of the day: The Raiders, Browns AND Chiefs together haven’t scored as many points as the New Orleans Saints.

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What’s the difference between Obama’s healhcare reform bill and the Redskins? The bill has an actual chance of successfully passing.

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The Washington Redskins have relieved coach Jim Zorn of play-calling duties. This came as a shock to Redskins fans, who weren’t aware ANYONE was calling plays.

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Okay, let’s see a show of hands from anyone who predicted that the Philadelphia Philles would score more against the Dodgers on Sunday than the Eagles would against the Raiders…. (Phillies 11-Dodgers 0 – Raiders 13-Eagles 9)

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Ralph Nader now says Barack Obama is a “serious disappointment.” What, as opposed to the man who Nader’s own campaign helped elect in 2000 – George W. Bush?

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Errors and omissions.

October 11, 2009

John McCain said not sending enough troops to Afghanistan would be “an error of historic proportions.”. And if anyone knows about historic errors, it’s the man who chose Sarah Palin for his running mate.

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A study says that people who experience traumatic events as children could see their life expectancy drop by as much as twenty years. This could mean an NC17 rating for Wrigley Field.

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The Philadelphia Phillies beat the Colorado Rockies in sub-freezing weather at Coors Field Sunday night. Apparently it was the coldest game anyone can remember in major league baseball since the Giants left Candlestick.

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The Phillies’ winning rally included a hit that should have been ruled a foul ball. Yet another blown call by the umps this postseason. Talk about game-change performances that SHOULD be sponsored by Pontiac.

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The Olympics have decided to add rugby and golf as sports in 2016. Well, it’s probably about time Tiger Woods got some international exposure.

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How bad are things for the Redskins? Folks in D.C. are starting to think about season tickets next year for the Nationals.

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For the 2-3 Redskins, all their losses have been their opponent’s first wins of the season. President Obama is considering asking the team to speak out against health care reform.

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Next up for the Redskins, the Kansas City Chiefs, 0-5 after going 0-4 in the preseason. If the Chiefs also beat the ‘Skins, on November 1, put your money on a first ever win “bye week.”

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The Cleveland Browns beat the Buffalo Bills 6-3. 6-3? Apparently it was so cold a hockey game broke out.

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White House Communication director Anita Dunn called Fox News, “a vehicle for Republican Party propaganda.” The station angrily denied the accusation – they prefer to think of the Republican Party as a vehicle for Fox News propaganda.

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Dinosaurs Alive.

September 27, 2009

Stunners in the NFL: Brett Favre throws a last second touchdown pass for a Vikings win over the 49ers, and the Lions finally get a win, against the Redskins. In related news, Washington has just offered an immediate quarterback contract to Joe Theismann.

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Jim Riggleman, the interim manager of the 52-102 Washington Nationals said “We’re not the worst team in baseball.” He also predicted Barack Obama would someday be nominated to the Pro Bowlers Hall of Fame.

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How bad is it in our nation’s capital? The Nationals have the worst record in baseball, the Redskins just lost to the Lions, and the Wizards had one of the worst records, again, in the NBA last season. At this point the only way Washington gets a winning team in town is when Obama invites one to the White House.

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A man who snuck into the grizzly bear exhibit at San Francisco Zoo was somehow was rescued without any harm to him, or the grizzlies. Just as well the zoo got him out, any savings in the cost of feeding the bears this week would have been offset by the inevitable lawsuits.

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The CBS 5 Sunday night news referred to the man’s climbing into the bear enclosure as “A stunt that defied logic.” As opposed to climbing into a bear enclosure using logic?

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Today’s new Coaches Top 25 College Football poll has Cal ranked 19th, Oregon 25th. (Oregon just beat Cal 42-3.) Who’s overseeing this poll – President John McCain?
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The remake of the musicial “Fame” had a disappointing opening weekend at the box office. MGM/UA estimated the audience was almost 80 percent female. But the studio was cheered by the positive audience reviews from both straight men.

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A few midweek thoughts…

September 24, 2009

After being suspended for the rest of the season earlier this week, Cubs outfielder Milton Bradley apologized and said “I chose Chicago as a free agent because I wanted to be part of bringing a championship to the Cubs’ fans. ” That’s it, no more free agent signings in Chicago before sanity tests.

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by the way, this week’s posts so far written with a bad cold…. so apologies to any readers who think I have lost it. Of course, some may think I have never found it.
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The Nationals are, as of tonight, sitting on 99 losses, and almost certainly heading for their 100th. A record of futility unmatched in Washington, except maybe by Congress.

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How hopeless are the Nationals? Instead of asking Barack Obama to throw out next year’s first pitch, they are deciding between Dennis Kucinich and Ralph Nader.

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Also in Washington, a group of American Indians is asking the Supreme Court to declare that with their name, the Redskins defame Native Americans. If they are successful, PETA may ask the court to declare that the Bengals and Lions defame felines.

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After an IVF clinic made a mistake, an Ohio woman is giving birth to another couple’s biological child. And somewhere John Edwards is thinking, “Okay, I’m a good enough lawyer to somehow use that excuse….”

Commie pinko time…
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Another question for the tea-party/tea bagger types. Where’s all the outrage about taxpayer money going to fund NFL stadiums, and then the teams involved refusing to lift television blackout rules during the recession?

For that matter, while a lot of the tea-baggers are furious about the thought that lax oversight of any potential new health care reform laws might mean illegal immigrants get access to health insurance – where’s that same outrage about lax oversight of laws meaning those same illegals might get easy access to guns?

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In Sarah Palin’s Hong Kong speech, she told investors “I’m going to call it like I see it and I will share with you candidly a view right from Main Street, Main Street U.S.A.” Once again showing Walt’s genius in having Main Street lead directly to Fantasyland.

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