Televised torture…

Posted October 16, 2010 by left coast sports babe
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 Fox baseball analyst Tim McCarver came out against instant replay, saying it “will kill the pace of the game.” You know what already kills the pace of the game? Listening to Tim McCarver.

(Actually McCarver doing color for the NLCS  will do his part to help the Giants live up to their “Giants baseball torture” billing. At least the torture part.   And then between innings we get political commercials. Shouldn’t this be reported as a violation of the Geneva convention?)

My friend Alex Kaseberg has a Tim McCarver imitation:  “What some people forget is that a baseball is round. And the bat is round. So you gotta hit a round thing with another round thing. That’s hard.”

But announcing aside, baseball’s all about the day-to-day grind, 162 games in 6 months, no real breaks. So part of the drama is the war of attrition and which players can fight through exhaustion and nagging injuries. Then then we get to the post season…. with no games for DAYS. Thank you FOX and Bud Selig.’

‎So in game one of the ALCS, 5-0 Texas lead going to the 7th, turns into a 6-5 Yankees win. How many other Giants fans were having painful flashbacks to World Series game six?

While there were many pitching goats out of the bullpen for the Rangers, the biggest horns may belong to Darren Oliver, 40, who came in with a 5-2 lead, and walked the only two batters he faced.

That’s what can happen when you bring in an inexperienced young guy in the playoffs, said Jamie Moyer.

Another sign it’s just too long between games in the playoffs….. Heard today on the radio, “The Giants will have a good chance in the NLCS if they can outscore the Phillies…”

Apparently Paramount is working on a sequel to Top Gun. Wonder if it will open up with “Maverick” and “Charlie” meeting up again while cruising gay bars….?

In a new video, Justin Bieber apparently criticizes Tom Brady’s hair in a new video. Isn’t that like Sarah Palin criticizing Christine O’Donnell’s knowledge of current events?

Meanwhile, Sarah Palin was in Northern California, and during a speech in San Jose she accused Democrats of being like “permanent residents of a unicorn ranch in fantasyland” and talked about them using “pixie dust.”

Hmm, sounds like someone might have had a pre-speech meeting with “California Republicans in Favor of Proposition 19.”..

The University of Georgia has a new mascot,  UGA VIII,  a 13 month old English bulldog, who will make his first appearance at the school’s homecoming game against Vanderbilt.  According to the school’s athletic director ” As our mascot he represents everything we want our student-athletes and fans to be … proud, loyal, tenacious and relentless.

The jury’s out as to whether UGA VIII  aka Big Bad Bruce)  will help the school turn around what has been a difficult year for the football team.  But at least he can probably get through the year without being arrested.

 Years ago, after a rough 49ers loss,  San Francisco mayor Willie Brown called quarterback Elvis Grbac an “embarrassment to humankind.” Hmm. Maybe nobody had better ask Willie what he thinks of Alex Smith.

Sports headline:  Favre questionable for Vikings.    Well, his behavior for sure.   And here the pundits were worried about Randy Moss being a distraction.

A few notes…

Posted October 14, 2010 by left coast sports babe
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Open note to Tea Party and anti-government types. Regarding those Chilean miners. Private enterprise got them in there, a government-led rescue operation, aided by other countries, got them out.

Interesting parallels between the Chilean miners and the San Francisco 49ers.  The miners were just rescued from underground, the 49ers will probably be buried again next Sunday. 

Meg Whitman has now spent $140 million on her campaign for governor in California. At this rate she will easily eclipse the 2010 record for spending in a lost cause – $146 million, which was the payroll of the Chicago Cubs.

Meg  Whitman did say on CNN that she was finally going to accept Jerry Brown’s apology for the slur his wife may have used, and that ” it’s time to talk about the issues.”

Translation, the only people who really cared about the “whore” comment were the ones who thought Jerry’s wife was right.

Federal prosecutors in Detroit were embarrassed to find out that a man they had charged with running an illegal lottery is actually dead.  In their defense, apparently the man did just vote in Chicago.

Two women were kicked out of a Baltimore Ravens game for kissing in a concession line. Male fans of at least 20 other teams have since invited the women to come attend a game at THEIR stadium.

Meanwhile, to highlight “Breast Cancer Awareness Month, the White House was lit up with pink light on Thursday. Bill Clinton has allegedly volunteered to do his part too, offering free manual breast exams.”

Ines Sainz, the TV reporter who was harassed by the Jets, said she would no longer do interviews in NFL locker rooms as “It’s not a good place right now for me.” Sainz was wearing a sequined mini skirt and blouse at the time. With all due respect, NFL locker rooms are probably not a good place for anyone, male or female, wearing a sequined miniskirt.

Christine O’Donnell has exaggerated her college studies, and when asked, could not think of a single Supreme Court decision she disagreed with. But she says if elected, she will “defend the Constitution.”  Defend it?  Why should we think she has even read it?

Privately, John McCain was appalled that Christine O’Donnell couldnt even name one recent Supreme Court case.   Jeez, he reportedly  fumed privately, she couldn’t have even said “Dred Scott”?

Meanwhile, you’ve got to love Carly Fiorina’s “Party doesn’t Matter” ad against Barbara Boxer. Especially at the end where it says “Paid for by the Republican Senatorial Committee.”

Miracles and beyond…

Posted October 14, 2010 by left coast sports babe
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At least one of the formerly trapped miners in Chile apparently had a wife AND mistress waiting for him upon his return. In related news, Gloria Allred is on a plane to Santiago.

More than half the Chilean miners have now been rescued. This is the biggest miracle of the year, or at least since the Detroit Lions won a game on Sunday.

Gilbert Arenas was fined Wednesday for faking being injured to avoid playing in the Washington pre-season opener. Wonder how long it will take other members of the Wizards to be fined for faking being an NBA team?

Brett Favre said he would consider sitting out a game because of tendinitis in his elbow. Hmm, knew you could get tennis elbow -is this the first known case of “texting elbow?”

One more in the never-ending story where a Jerry Brown staffer called Meg Whitman a “whore” for her behavior with the police officers’ union. A member of the Sex Workers Union stated, “No way is this allegation true, we whores have better hair.”

A quote from Nietzsche that may resonate with frustrated Democrats this November : “At times one remains faithful to a cause only because its opponents do not cease to be insipid.”

You cannot make this stuff up dept: New York gubernatioral candidate Carl Paladino has made some nasty gay slurs. But apparently back in Buffalo he collected rent from gay clubs, had a son who RAN such a club, and was seen more than once in lesbian bars…  What’s next, a “wide stance?”

back to baseball:

Cliff Lee, traded from Seattle in July, Roy Halladay, traded from Toronto last December, C.C. Sabathia, signed as a free agent from Milwaukee in December 2008… The SF Giants have the only “home-grown” game one starter left this year in baseball. (And in fact, ALL four playoff starters came up with the Giants. We won’t talk about Zito.)

From Marc Ragovin, about the Rangers-Rays series.  “Ya know, for a minute there watching Cliff Lee pitch to Carl Crawford in the ALDS I thought I was watching a Yankees 2011 preseason intrasquad game.”

(This would be funnier if it weren’t likely true.)

Asked to name a recent Supreme Court decision she disagreed with, Delaware Senate candidate Christine O’Donnell stumbled and finally couldn’t think of one. In her defense, she said while running for office she really hasn’t had time to watch tennis matches.

About those penalty kicks…

Posted October 13, 2010 by left coast sports babe
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Halladay-Lincecum for game one of the NLCS Saturday night in Philadelphia.   Presumed over-under on the game in Vegas? One and a half.
(A few weeks ago I wrote the Padres-Giants race for the division title might be decided by penalty kicks… on Saturday night,  for the Phillies-Giants game, it could happen.)
And once this torture trip of a season is over,  how long will it take for the SF Giants to become the official major league baseball team of  Prilosec?
Meanwhile, in the AL,  the Rangers-Rays ALDS series was notable because NEITHER team won a home game.    In fact,  they both had the best ratio of road to home scoring since a young Bill Clinton first hit the campaign trail. 
But congratulations to the 1961 expansion Washington Senators, now the Texas Rangers,  for their first ever playoff win, and advancing to the ALCS.   (And in a nice touch of irony, the original Washington Senators, who left Washington after the 1960 seasons to become the Minnesota Twins, was swept in the first round.)
And in all seriousness, add to the nice gesture the Giants made of applauding Bobby Cox during their celebration Tuesday, the Texas Rangers’ starting their clubhouse celebration with ginger ale.  (Josh Hamilton ,a team star, has admitted serious substance abuse issues, and doesn’t feel comfortable now even just being doused in alcohol.) 
The Rangers brought out the hard stuff later, but Hamilton was at least able to get wet.  And presumably, sticky.
As if folks in the San Francisco Bay Area needed any more reason to hate Fox…. they give us Joe Buck and Tim McCarver to call the Giants-Phillies series. And a 119p start time Tuesday for the first NLCS home game.
University Georgia tailback Caleb King became the 11th Bulldog to be arrested this SEASON. On the brighter side, in the interest of efficiency, Georgia huddles can now double as probation hearings.
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From Bill Littlejohn:  A statue of King Tut’s grandfather has been unearthed in Egypt. So, was it wearing a Packers or Vikings jersey?
 –
The SF 49ers have said that their offense again next week will be led by Quarterback Alex Smith. Well, makes some sense, Smith is likely to lead the team to another number one draft pick.

In the last California gubernatorial debate between  Meg Whitman and Jerry Brown,  of course the “whore” question came up. Shame the -debate wasn’t being moderated by a real expert, like Eliot Spitzer.

At least Jerry’s wife/aide/whoever simply called Meg a  “whore.  While Whitman is going on about how offensive women find that word, I, and most of my women friends, can think of about half a dozen that are worse.

(And for anyone who’s read the internet stories about her family, it’s a bit ironic that Whitman won’t let his one go.  Google her sons and their high school and college careers for some rumors that do not exactly bespeak delicate sensibilities.)

The Republican party is pouring money into California in hopes of helping Carly Fiorina unseat Senator Barbara Boxer.  Here’s an alternative suggestion – if the GOP really cares so much about winning that Boxer’s seat, why don’t they actually nominate a reasonable semi-moderate candidate to run against her?

Giants baseball – okay, what’s BEYOND torture?

Posted October 12, 2010 by left coast sports babe
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In the NLCS, fans may be about to find out.  (This is of course supposed to be fun. )

SF’s  hitting hero, if you can have a hitting hero in a series where you score 11 runs, and win 3 of 4 games, is Cody Ross. Who hit a critical home run and an RBI single.

Ross was actually picked up in August, , not because the Giants wanted his bat, but simply to keep the San Diego Padres from getting him off waivers.

Proving something that women sports fans may understand more than men. .. sometimes spite is its own reward.

And only for fans of Marathon Man will this make sense – “Giants baseball, is it safe? 

On a brighter note, the Giants may soon become the official team of the American Dental Association.

For Giants fans, it was a thrilling NLDS, for Braves fans… let’s just say the town hasn’t seen such a weak defense since a guy named Sherman showed up….

Note to Atlanta fans, if you can’t fill your own stadium when the Braves are facing a playoff elimination game, and when your Hall of Fame manager might be managing his last game, you don’t deserve to see your team go on to the NCLS. (and yes, there were several thousand empty seats, by official count about 6,000, but maybe more.)

But with Cox retiring, in a perfect world, can he take the Tomahawk Chop with him?

Anyone looking for a team to root for, or rather root against, during the playoffs?  Here’s some numbers.  The payroll numbers for three of the teams left in the postseason- the SF Giants, the Texas Rangers and the Tampa Bay Rays, TOGETHER are barely over the the $206,000,000 million plus paid out by the NY Yankees.

2010 Numbers for the teams that are left, for what it’s worth:

New York Yankees:  $206 million

Philadelphia Phillies: $142 million

SF Giants: $97 million

Tampa Bay Rays: $71 million

Texas Rangers: $55 million.

Meanwhile,  the Boston Red Sox $162 million, and the Chicago Cubs, $146 million.  Thereby assuring that the $150 million Meg Whitman is spending for her run to be California governor just might not be the biggest waste of money this year.

From Gary Morton:  Disappointed that the Atlanta paper didn’t lead with a “Conrad delivers Braves to the heart of darkness” type of headline.  (Yes, okay, this may not make sense to non-English majors.)

Google is testing a driverless car. But will it be able to text, feed you, and do your makeup?


Brett Favre reportedly apologized to his Vikings teammates for the sexting allegations against him. Favre said he didn’t want to be a “distraction” to the team, at least until the offseason when he goes through the whole retirement decision again.

But speaking of potentially insanely stupid texts.  Jed York, owner of the 0-5 San Francisco 49ers, texted to ESPN “We’re going to win the division.” With all due respect, he’s going to need to do more than “dabble” in witchcraft to make that happen.

The torture continues….

Posted October 11, 2010 by left coast sports babe
Categories: political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized

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 What was that old line.. the beatings will continue until morale improves.  (And was it said by a Giants fan?)

Today’s SF Giants come-from-ahead-then-behind win – Just another f**king laugher!  

Wonder if anyone else had this stomach-churning memory when Brooks Conrad was playing his own particular version of “no-hands” baseball:

Back in 1986, Roger Craig was managing the SF Giants and due to injuries, needed a player to fill in for a game at third base. Catcher Bob Brenly (who was doing color commentary for the game Sunday on TBS ), volunteered.  And he made FOUR errors in one inning. But Brenly also had two hits in the game when he came up with two outs in the bottom of the ninth and the Giants trailing by one with a man on.  And he hit a walk-off home run.

If Brian Wilson had loaded the bases, not an impossible thought given his creative style,  the batter would have been – Brooks Conrad.

Oh, and the game where Brenly had his worst and best day ever?  It was against the Atlanta Braves.–

From my friend Jerry Perisho:  Braves second baseman Brooks Conrad’s three errors Sunday cost the Braves the game. The last person to screw an entire team was Madonna.

How many years of chances will 49ers quarterback Alex Smith get? He’d last as long in Philly as Michael Vick at a PETA convention.

In the “torture loves company” department: Giants fans, can we have a moment for fans of the Texas Rangers? Only MLB franchise that has NEVER won a playoff series. Ever. As either the original Washington Senators or after they moved to Texas in 1971. And with a 2-0 series lead they just lost two games to the Tampa Bay Rays.

The Tampa Bay Rays beat the Texas Rangers today in the ALDS series to send the series back to Tropicana Field for game 5 tied 2-2. Based on their game 1 and 2 losses, lousy attendance, and the fact that they play in the worst stadium in the big leagues, wonder if the Rays said, “Uh, actually could we pass on home field and stay in Texas?”

What’s worse for 49ers fans? Being 0-5? Or having two fewer wins than … the Raiders?

In New York, Republican gubernatorial candidate Carl Paladino said in a speech to Orthodox Jewish leaders that he doesn’t want children “brainwashed into thinking that homosexuality” is acceptable.

Fortunately, he’s losing big in the polls. Most New Yorkers don’t want children “brainwashed” into thinking stupidity and bigotry are acceptable.

Rich Lott, a Ohio congressional candidate, is facing criticism from both parties after photos surfaced of him recently dressed in a German SS uniform to participate in Nazi re-enactment ceremonies. Lott says his participation was for “purely historical interest in World War II.” Well, if that is true, he’s too STUPID to serve in Congress.

.

Meg Whitman appeared with former New York governor Rudy Giulani at a fundraiser today in California.   (Wonder if Giulani commented that it was just 29 days away from the ninth anniversary of 9/11?.)

Whitman, however, turned down an offer to attend another fundraising event this week in Anaheim with Sarah Palin.  Meg’s campaign said they had “competing events.”  No doubt.  Given Palin’s California approval ratings, Whitman would probably rather stay home and clean her house.

It could be worse…

Posted October 10, 2010 by left coast sports babe
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Okay, as a Giants fan I am still mad about Friday night.

But how must it feel to be a Minnesota Twins fan?   12 playoff losses in a row.   This team now folds faster than the winners at an Origami competition.

Suppose there’s a silver lining for Vikings fans.  Whatever happens with Favre Sunday, he’s unlikely to be the biggest embarrassment in town this week.

Meanwhile at Candlestick Park, Michael Vick is unlikely to play for the Eagles against the 49ers due to his rib injury.

Many people think this is just as well, as Vick’s dogfighting past would be likely to get him a particularly nasty reception . San Francisco fans wouldn’t even support one of their own team if he were convicted of such crimes.  Well, unless the player did something amazing afterwards – like lead the 49ers to a win.

Apparently the University of Tennessee has renamed classroom 317 in the Communications building after former Volunteers QB Peyton Manning. 

317 presumably being chosen because it’s the number of commercials Manning has made.

Meanwhile at Southern Mississippi, the University is thinking of renaming a classroom after alum Brett Favre.  Presumably in their archaeology department.

At Stanford, the Cardinal knocked off USC 37-35 with a last second field goal,. The Trojans had taken the lead with a touchdown with 1:08 left , instead of running down the clock.  Which means tonight, amongst other things, SC stands for Stupid Clock management. 

New t-shirt at Stanford – USC – University of Sanctioned Cheaters. 

So it’s hard to know for sure from the tape whether it really was Jerry Brown or his aide who really referred to Meg Whitman as a “whore.” 

A tacky conversation to be sure. But realistically, is there anyone who has followed Brown’s career who is shocked by the idea that the once and potential future governor would swear in private?

In the meantime, Whitman’s latest commercial has her sayings some people say California can’t be governed, and “I say baloney.”

For that matter, does anyone believe that Meg would actually use the word “baloney?”

Meanwhile, with rumors swirling about her interest in running for President in 2012, Politico.com reported Sarah Palin told a small group of Republicans at a private dinner in Florida that “critics also said Ronald Reagan couldn’t win in 1980.”

If this is going to be her line, wonder how long it will take some Republican to respond “I knew Ronald Reagan, Ronald Reagan was a friend of mine, Sarah, you’re no Ronald Reagan.”

Orange Friday.

Posted October 9, 2010 by left coast sports babe
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SF Giants were let down by their bullpen and defense Friday night.  Said Cubs fans -“What’s a bullpen and defense?”

The Giants were on a real roll early in the season on “Orange Fridays.” But they’ve now lost 3 of the last 4 games.  Personally, I liked it better when the only real Friday torture was watching Pablo Sandoval in that orange jersey.  Shades of the Great Pumpkin.

Meanwhile, baseball fans around the country are still buzzing about Tim Lincecum’s 14 strikeout performance on Thursday.  He mowed down Altantans faster than any guy not named Sherman.

A recent AP poll shows that white Americans without a four-year college degree prefer Republicans 58 to 36 percent. “That’s a great start,” said Sarah Palin, “but with a better message we could probably get over half of those voters.”

The NFL is now apparently investigating reports that Brett Favre allegedly sexted a former sideline reporter while he was with the Jets. Really? How could anyone believe that story? If Favre were thinking of sexting a woman, how could he decide on which one?

Brett Favre has been accused of emailing pictures of his “junk” to a young female reporter while he was with New York. But most Jets fans feel confident the only “junk” Favre was sending out were his passes on the field.

Jerry Brown has now apologized for an overheard conversation in which one of his aides called Meg Whitman a “whore.” Now, he has another apology request, from the sex workers union, who don’t want their members compared to politicians.

Glen Coffee, who quit the SF 49ers because he felt “God wanted him to stop playing football,” was arrested in Florida for possession of a concealed firearm. Looks like Coffee got confused – even in Florida the 10 Commandments don’t include the right to bear arms.

Or maybe God just didn’t want to see another headline starting “NFL player arrested…”

John Kerry said today that John Edwards’ situation with his mistress and baby was a “tragedy.” No, Edwards’ situation is a nasty cocktail of stupidity, arrogance and testosterone. The tragedy would have been if the story broke when he was Vice President.

From Marc Ragovin : “I knew the Minnesota Twins were originally a Washington team, I just didn’t realize it was the Generals.

Freak show.

Posted October 8, 2010 by left coast sports babe
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Tim Lincecum,  14 strikeouts, 31 swing and misses (most in the majors all season), and a 1-0 complete game victory.  And he did it without benefit of pitching to his own lineup.

(No, it wasn’t quite the record for strikeouts in a post-season game. But he should definitely have the record for most strikeouts per pound.)

Okay, this is a long way away, several games anyway, from being reality, but… If the Phillies and Giants meet in the NLCS and Halladay and Lincecum pitch game one, I’m figuring the over-under in Vegas is about one and a half.

(Reader T.C. suggested the over under for Thursday’s game should have been 3 1/2.  Actually it was 6, which is low for a major league game, the average is about 8-9.  And it didn’t even turn out to be close.)

Another 1-0 game for the SF Giants Thursday night, this time a win.  Between innings the p.a. system played “Living on a prayer.”  I think it’s the hitters’ theme -song.

And sorry if this offends anyone, but the newest t-shirt sold outside A T and T Park tomorrow is likely to be “Tim Lincecum,  F*** Yeah.”

So first Lincecum drops the F-bomb in a postgame interview after the Giants clinch the West, now Jerry Brown is overheard in a conversation where his aide refers to Meg Whitman as a “whore. ” 

Wow, athletes and politicians swear. I am shocked, shocked.

Brown immediately issued an apology to Meg Whitman for the conversation. Now he’s been asked for a second apology, from the Prostitutes Union.

Actually, at this point I think Californians might cheerfully elect a capable whore.  Prostitutes are generally straightforward, actually give value for money, and at least leave people satisfied.  (And yes, there are more R and X rated versions of this riff, but I’ll quit while I’m ahead, or rather, behind.)

Sharron Angle’s pastor, John Reed, has now gone after Harry Reid by saying that because he’s a Mormon, the Senator is a member of a “bizarre cult.”

Hmm,  Did Reed forget about that Mitt Romney endorsement?

Apparently the race between Sharron Angle and Harry Reid in Nevada is too close to call.  One poll stated that one in ten “didn’t like either candidate.”  Presumably as opposed to nine in ten who can’t stand either candidate.

In San Francisco, the Liberty and Freedom Foundation put up a Sarah Palin billboard today at the corner of Market and Castro. What’s next, a Christine O’Donnell sign in front of Good Vibrations?

Don Larsen, who pitched a perfect game in the 1956 World Series, was interviewed today after Roy Halladay’s no-hitter. A little known fact about that game, had Larsen faltered, Jamie Moyer was warming up in the bullpen.

(Actually in all seriousness, add Tim Lincecum and Buster Posey’s ages together, and you only beat Moyer’s age by one)

While it can be hard to be funny, you don’t have to be a rocket scientist to be a comedian. Latest case in point – Ralphie May, arrested for marijuana possession at Guam Airport…. after he went over to pet the drug-sniffing dog.

Baylor’s star guard LaceDarius Dunn was suspended from classes over allegations that he hit his girlfriend during a fight and broke her jaw.

Dunn’s basketball playing friends at other universities were stunned.  At Baylor players actually go to class?

Welcome to the torture chamber?

Posted October 7, 2010 by left coast sports babe
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I am actually carrying such a sign to the Giants-Braves game on Thursday.  (Well actually “Atlanta, Welcome to the Torture Chamber.”

A sign you might be a latecomer to the Giants bandwagon if…. you turn on the TV Thursday night,  wonder what the manager’s hippie kid is doing walking on the field, and then realize, it’s SF’s starting pitcher.

For anyone who is convinced the SF Giants will lose because many of their players, especially the pitchers, don’t have playoff experience – tonight was Roy Halladay’s first postseason appearance.

Okay SF fans, let’s be honest. If you had to bet on which playoff team would be no-hit in the first round, wouldn’t you have figured it would be the Giants?

Much discussion in the SF area about whether the Giants will leave Barry Zito off the playoff roster.  If they do,  Zito and his $126 million contract might become known as the biggest waste of money in recent California history. Well, at least until Meg Whitman is done running for governor.

For anyone looking for a playoff team to root for, consider the SF Giants. They’re a hardworking, scrappy, entertaining bunch. And besides, if they beat the Braves in the first round they will reduce America’s exposure to the dreaded Tomahawk Chop.

Bud Selig is bragging that that one World Series game, game three, this year will start at 655p, so children on the East Coast might actually be able to stay up and watch most of the game. But it’s the SATURDAY night game. Now, Sunday night, a school night, game four starts at 820p EST.

Palin’s camp has been criticizing Alaska GOP Senate candidate Joe Miller for his tepid comments about her qualifications to run for president in 2012.

Miller finally responded by saying: “We have a constitutional requirement (for running for president). Of course she is qualified.” Palin is still not happy, but it’s more than many Republicans say about President Obama.
How things change. A few months ago the Delaware politician known for the craziest off-the-cuff remarks was Joe Biden.
First Tiger Woods, now Meg Whitman.  Any potential sports superstars or political candidates take note: Whatever else you do in life, do whatever it takes to stay on good terms with ex-mistresses or employees.

Beyond the regular season.

Posted October 6, 2010 by left coast sports babe
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The Arizona Diamondbacks set a MLB record this year by striking out 1,507 times. That’s about 9 1/2 times PER GAME. On the bright side, the hitters did do their part to reduce the air-conditioning bill and thus carbon footprint at Chase Field.


Sometimes the best trades are the ones you don’t make. Remember all the SF Giants fans back in July who wanted to swap Jonathan Sanchez for a bat?


The Angels are out and the Dodgers are out. So this year, it’s not just NFL fans in Los Angeles who won’t see any wins in October.

Interesting/scary stat of the day, the four highest paid players on the SF Giants’ payroll for 2010 are: Barry Zito $18,5 million, Aaron Rowand $13.6 million, Jose Guillen, $12 million (mostly paid by the Kansas City Royals.) , and Edgar Renteria $10 million. And all of them could, and maybe should, be left off the playoff roster.

In Alabama, 11 people, including four Alabama state legislators and three lobbyists, were charged in connection with an alleged scheme to bribe legislators for their votes on proposed gambling and entertainment legislation. The arrests were the result of an FBI investigation. Observers in Louisiana had one comment – “Amateurs.”

In Christine O’Donnell’s first television ad of the general election she states “I am not a witch.” Tranlation, Hogwarts has no record of her attending classes there either.

Christine O’Donnell said in 2006 that she had secret “classified information” that China was plotting to take over America. If O’Donnell was talking about our economy she was only about 5 years too late.


After the Giants clinched, SF pitcher Tim Lincecum set off a mini media storm Sunday by dropping the F-bomb while he was being interviewed on the field. Big deal, Mets fans have been dropping the F-bomb all year, watching their team on the field.


Eliot Spitzer said in an interview with Parade Magazine this weekend that ‘You learn more by losing than by winning.” Which means the Detroit Lions are the smartest team in America.

(feel free to subtitute San Francisco 49ers, Maple Leafs, Chicago Cubs, or your team of choice)


With the San Francisco 49ers at 0-4, prices for potential PSL’s (Personal Seat Licenses) are going up. If things don’t improve, who knows how much the team will end up having to pay season ticket holders to buy them?


Michael Vick says he’s going to be out “maybe two weeks.” Wonder how long that is in dog years?

In Alabama, 11 people, including four Alabama state legislators and three lobbyists, were charged in connection with an alleged scheme to bribe legislators for their votes on proposed gambling and entertainment legislation. The arrests were the result of an FBI investigation. Observers in Louisiana had one comment – “Amateurs.”

Say what?

Posted October 6, 2010 by left coast sports babe
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Meg Whitman’s latest commercial proclaims “Jobs are on the way.” Well, yeah, unless you are one of the 40,000 state employees whose job she has promised to cut.

While the Giants decide whether or not to put Barry Zito and his $126 million contract on the playoff roster, the Yankees decided to leave A.J. Burnett and his $82.5 million contract out of their playoff rotation. Of course, with the Yankees $82.5 million is a utility player contract.


Meanwhile, down in Miami, Dwayne Wade sustained an hamstring injury and had to leave the Heat’s first pre-season game. The injury at this point doesn’t appear to be serious.

But if Wade’s hamstring doesn’t heal, it might mean the mini-Dream team won’t get to play together this year. “That would really be a shame” said nobody outside the state of Florida.

Despite an 0-4 start 49ers coach Mike Singletary is still strongly supporting his quarterback Alex Smith. Makes sense. As long as Smith is with the team he will deflect some of the blame from Singletary.

The NFL Players union head DeMaurice Smith has stated he thinks owners are preparing for a 2011 without professional football. Which means in Detroit, business as usual.

Delaware Senate candidate Christine O’Donnell recently stated “I am not a witch.” “Well, we can’t all be perfect,” sniffed Hillary Clinton.


While the U.S. has not always been well served by the “best and the brightest,” is it really necessary for us to turn instead to the worst and the dimmest?


It’s understandable that many people don’t feel economic recovery is affecting them yet, and that change isn’t coming fast enough. And even that President Obama is too calm and celebral to connect well with the average American.

But really, some of these alternative candidates? It feels like the political equivalent of getting mad at your mother when you are a teenager, and getting a big tattoo just to spite her. Except that a tattoo would actually be easier to remove if you decide you made a hasty mistake.


And regarding well-paid players who may not contribute much to their team in the post season, how about two shortstops in their mid 30s? One batted .276 with a .374 slugging percent, the second batted .270 with a .370 slugging percentage. And both realistically have lost a bit defensively.

The first is the Giants’ Edgar Renteria. The second, Derek Jeter.

Magic number zero.

Posted October 4, 2010 by left coast sports babe
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This is a crappy picture, so maybe it’s only worth 500 words… but.

(taken at A T and T Park about two minutes after the Giants clinched the Western Division.)


An interesting question for San Francisco Bay Area sports fans… who is crazier? Giants closer Brian Wilson or Stanford coach Jim Harbaugh?


The Pittsburgh Pirates are apparently about to fire manager John Russell after another losing season. But is this really fair? It’s hard to compete with a team where the average player makes less per year than Reggie Bush did at USC.


And then there’s Seattle, where the Mariners lost 101 games. According to reader Gary Morton, “They’re so bad, they’ve already been mathematically eliminated from next year’s race.”


In fact while SF fans justifiably have learned to love the phrase “Giants baseball – torture,” Mariners fans have had to take it to a whole new level. Last week they even managed to lose on a walk-off strikeout.

Not a misprint. With a runner on first and two outs in the bottom of the ninth in a tie game against the Texas Rangers, reliever Dan Corts struck out pinch-hitter Nelson Cruz. But the ball got past the catcher, Guillermo Quoriz, and his attempted throw to get Cruz at first base went into right field, enabling the runner on first to come all the way around to score the winning run.

Now THAT’S torture.

Even if Michael Vick is ready to play again next Sunday after today’s injury, Kevin Kolb may have played well enough to reclaim the Eagles’ starting QB job. What can Vick say? He knows it’s a dog-eat-dog world.

A Wells Fargo Bank executive acknowledged that he simply relied on co-workers and assumed that information in foreclosure documents was correct. So he hecked only the dates on up to 150 foreclosure documents he signed every day.

Yeah, why shouldn’t he trust fellow bank employees? It’s not like they’ve made any other lending mistakes over the years…. Oops, never mind.


Do not adjust your sets – The last undefeated team in the NFL is indeed the Kansas City Chiefs. (Whose next win will equal their 2009 total of 4.)


Lindsay Lohan has entered rehab, again. Not saying she’s not living in the real world but rumor has it Lindsay if she would be cured in time to go to a USC bowl game.

TWO too many men on the field.

Posted October 3, 2010 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized

The University of Tennessee was on the verge of a major upset of LSU, and indeed had celebrated when a “Fourth and goal” by the Tgers went for naught. But then they were called for too many men on the field. Not 12, but 13.

Open note to UT: While it is not critical that all your football players be rocket-scientists, it is useful for them to be able to count beyond 11.


Possible scary sidelight for USC – these players were recruited by Lane Kiffin.


For Cardinal fans, there was only one thing wrong with Saturday night’s Oregon-Stanford game. Unfortunately that “one thing” was the second half.

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Meanwhile, back in the bitterness of the NL West pennant race:

Note to SF Giants batters for Sunday: You stand a better chance of getting a hit if you don’t bat with both hands wrapped around your neck.

Actualy, in Saturdays, 4-2 loss, San Francisco manager Bruce Bochy was ejected after the sixth, with his team down 4-0. Ostensibly for arguing when ball and strikes. But maybe he couldn’t stand to watch the game any more either.


In their latest gubernatorial debate, broadcast in Spanish on Univision, Meg Whitman accused Jerry Brown and his surrogates ” of orchestrating the whole affair, by maniuplatiing Whitman’s former housekeepr and “putting her at risk for deportation.”

Well, Meg may sitll have issues. But the incident at least shows we can expect to receive the same standard of accountability from her as we have had regularly from politicians in Calfornia.


Senator Jim DeMint of South Caroline today said that gays and unmarried pregnant women should not teach in public schools. But I guess it’s okay for closeted gays and the fathers of these out-of-wedlock children.


Britain just recognized “druidry” as a religion. Well, maybe if this Delaware thing doesn’t work out we’ve just found another future opportunity for Christine O’Donnell to find herself and then run for office.

Giants baseball…

Posted October 2, 2010 by left coast sports babe
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A violation of the Geneva Convention? But really, who said it was going to be easy in San Francisco? And now all that Giants fans have to do is relax tomorrow afternoon and watch Barry Zito.

(And open note to bandwagon fans, when the Giants give out “rally rags,” like they did tonight to all 42,000 plus in the stadium, the rags should be waived when the GIANTS are hitting. Not the other guys.)

On the other hand, you know it’s been a rough season for baseball fans in Los Angeles when there’s more September-October drama in the courtroom for the McCourt’s divorce than on the field at Dodger Stadium

A massive and unseasonal storm has flooded parts of the East Coast. Normally the biggest thing underwater there this time of year is the Mets’ playoff chances.


Meanwhile, Bud Selig proudly announced that this year, there will be ONE World Series game that will start early, at 655p Eastern, instead of 830p, for the benefit of children who might want to watch the game. And let’s see, with the number of commercial breaks, a near 7pm start might actually get the game finished by 11pm.


The South Carolina Senate race already has a Green candidate and two write-in candidates, after controversial novice Alvin Greene won the Democratic primary. Now celebrity chef and cookbook author Nathalie Dupree has entered the race, also as a write-in candidate. Her slogan? Maybe “Getting out of the kitchen, but I can stand the heat.”


The latest from Delaware’s Christine O’Donnell, about her “dabbling” as a youth.

“I would have become a Hare Krishna, but I didn’t want to become a vegetarian. And that is honestly the reason why, because I’m Italian and I love meatballs.”

Does this mean if they had good Gardenburgers back then that O’Donnell would now be the first Tea Party Hare Krishna candidate?


News Corp, the parent company of Fox News, just gave $1 million to the U.S Chamber of Commerce, a pro-GOP business lobby that is trying to help the Republicans retake control of Congress. Golly. This could lead to people thinking Fox News might be biased.


Nevada Senate candidate Sharron Angle now has another Tea Party competitor, Scott Ashijian, who is running as a write-in candidate. Said one of Angle’s angry supporters, Scott Ashjian is an egomaniac whack-job.” Guess they’re worried about splitting that all important “whack-job” vote.


EPCOT Center in Disney World has announced they are celebrating their 28th anniversary. Either that or 28 was their daily attendance. Not sure.


San Francisco 49ers strong safety Michael Lewis didn’t apparently show up for practice today. Should we be surprised? Most of the 49ers’ defense hasn’t shown up on Sundays all year


Singer-songwriter Bruno Mars has been arrested on felony cocaine-possession charges in Las Vegas. His alleged words to the police officers “That’s the last time I borrow gum from Paris Hilton.”

A nice one from Bill Littlejohn:

At a Great Sports Legends Dinner on Monday, former President Bill Clinton said that he’s ‘dreamed
of getting a lesson from Annika Sorenstam’. He said he’d also like her to teach him some golf.

It pays to be frugal…

Posted October 1, 2010 by left coast sports babe
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Right about now Jerry Brown has to be thanking his lucky stars that he’s too cheap to hire a housekeeper.


Just wondering though, if it had been Jerry Brown who had the illegal housekeeper, would Meg Whitman say it was a non-issue and he had no real reason to doubt her?


But seriously, Meg Whitman has stated strongly that illegal immigrants should be deported, Yet if you listen to Meg’s side of “Nannygate, the sequel,” she alleges that she found out her housekeeper, who had “become a member of their extended family” was illegal in back 2009 and chose to fire her rather than have her arrested.

Wouldn’t you think the personal experience just MIGHT have made her see that there are shades of gray with this issue…? (Well, we can dream…)


Regarding this housekeeper with the phony social security number. Presumably Whitman withheld taxes from her paycheck, and paid her employer social security contribution as well. But in cases where it’s a phony number, the employee never gets anything back…..it’s basically free money for the government.

And right or wrong, the government is taking in a LOT of money this way.


It just gets worse for Christine O’Donnell. Today a number of witches and warlocks came forward to say that besides not attending all those schools, they have no record of her ever really dabbling in witchcraft either.


The SF Giants were 6 1/2 games out of first place on August 25. Thursday they clinched at least a tie for the Western Division title. Are we sure someone on the team isn’t dabbling in witchcraft?

On the other hand, the Padres have lost 22 of 34 games since Aug. 25. They’ve fallen faster than Lebron James’ reputation.

After an off-season marred by controversy with players increasingly calling the shots as to in which big market they want to play, and others, still under contract, acting like spoiled children who want to play only with their friends, the NBA has taken some action.

Coaches will no longer be allowed to wear mock turtlenecks under their suit jacket; a collared shirt will be required. Good to see the league is a dealing with the important issues.


Tour de France champion Alberto Contador is blaming contaminated meat for his positive doping test. Great, now how many world-class athletes will claim to have been hanging out with Lady Gaga?


Chad Ochocinco has a breakfast cereal sold in the Cincinnati area that benefits “Feed the Children” Unfortunately a phone number on the box for further donations has a typo that results in callers reaching a phone sex line. Not maybe what Ochocino meant in his tweet urging his fans to buy the cereal and “start your day with a l’il sugar.”

Classes? Classes? We don’t need no stinkin’ classes.

Posted September 30, 2010 by left coast sports babe
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Christine O’Donnell lists both Claremont Graduate University and Oxford University on her resume. But this week both institutions denied she had ever attended their classes. USC is wondering if they can use the same logic with Reggie Bush.

This week, Jimmy Raye became the fifth 49ers offensive-coordinator fired since QB Alex Smith has been with the club. Isn’t simply blaming the 49ers’ struggles on the latest offensive coordinator kind of like simply blaming Larry King’s latest wife for the failure of their marriage?

Okay, regarding illegal immigrants, what’s the over-under on what percentage of Californians have hired someone illegal in their lives, either directly or through a contractor? I’m guessing about 90 percent have done so. (Have you hired babysitters, gardeners, contractors, housecleaners.. ? And this doesn’t count second-hand things like having your car washed, eating in restaurants, buying cheap produce.

Not saying it’s avoidable, but hypocrisy is a problem.


And regarding Meg Whitman’s housekeeper situation: This is one of many reasons why voting and following politics is important. Anyone who paid attention to Nannygate (Bill Clinton losing TWO Attorney General nominees over illegal nannies) in 1993 would have known – check identification for household staff CAREFULLY.


Tour de France winner Alberto Contador became the latest top cyclist to test possible for a banned drug. He blamed “tainted food.” What, was his team all out of “tainted supplements?”

‎2009 Horse of the Year Rachel Alexandra will be retired and bred to Curlin, the 2007-08 Horse of the Year. Her owner said it was time to “reward her with a less stressful life.” Only in the equine world would motherhood be viewed as “a less stressful life.”


Jersey Shore” star Snooki has a book deal. Is this to write one or read one?

Apparently while Christine O’Donnell says she attended Oxford, it turns out it was a summer program sponsored by the Phoenix Institute, which wasn’t connected with the University. So it’s a stretch to say she studied at Oxford. Of course, George W. Bush did actually attend both Yale and Harvard.


Justin Bieber is featured on the cover of Teen Vogue, where he is interviewed about how he feels about his fans. One thing he asks those fans – “Don’t come up to me while I’m eating.”

Apparently it’s been a whole year since he was able to finish a whole Happy Meal in peace.

Robin Williams has come out with an ad-endorsement for Barbara Boxer. Makes sense that comedians are getting involved in this year’s election cycle. Some of the candidates if elected could wind up seriously competing with their acts.

Thank you, Cubbies.

Posted September 29, 2010 by left coast sports babe
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Refrain for all Giants fans for the week: “Okay, I will not make jokes about the Cubs, I will not make jokes about the Cubs, I will not make jokes about the Cubs.’

(for non-baseball fans, the Cubs have just won two in a row from the San Diego Padres, who the Giants are competing with for a playoff berth.)


Earlier this summer, Giants pitcher Jonathan Sanchez made the mistake of predicting a San Francisco sweep against the Padres, and then went out and lost his start. He has been considerably more circumspect sense.

Meanwhile, last weekend, Padres catcher Yorvit Torrealba put San Diego’s chances of making the playoffs at “300 percent.” Now it definitely could still happen, but if Torrealba doesn’t play winter ball he might want to spend the offseason working on his mouth, and his math skills.


Here’s an interesting bit of irony. When the San Francisco Giants, plagued by poor attendance and a poor ballpark, almost left SF after the 1992 season, they planned to move to the Tampa-St Petersburg area.

Last night, when the Tampa Bay Rays had a chance to clinch the division, they drew an “official” crowd of 12,446 fans (which looked a lot smaller), and the team is giving away 20,000 unsold tickets for their last regular season home game tomorrow.

Rays star Evan Longoria was upset about the empty seats, and said publicly that it was embarrassing. If the man ever gets traded to the Los Angeles Dodgers someone better warn him about that third and seventh inning thing.


Meanwhile, in the college game, the University of California announced it was cutting varsity baseball after 2011, along with rugby and some smaller sports. This will save the cash-strapped university about $4 million a year. $4 million. That’s about what Meg Whitman is spending on ads per week.

Regarding the Cal baseball program, has anyone thought of calling feuding Dodgers owners and soon-to-be-ex-spouses Frank and Jamie McCourt? Here’s their chance to back a genuine amateur team for the fraction of the cost of those boys at Chavez Ravine.

During their gubernatorial debate, both Meg Whitman and Jerry Brown declined to say there was any benefit to illegal immigration for Californians. But both also said they were open to the idea of a Peripheral Canal idea to transport water in California. Yo, folks, if the state approves such a canal, who do think is going to dig it?

Meg Whitman was just asked during the debate if she were elected would she work on changing campaign finance laws. Her answer, not immediately. What she means – not until after I’ve been able to buy my re-election.-


The IRS says so many people are filing tax returns electronically that they will no longer automatically mail a traditional paper form. And we wonder why the Post Office is in trouble.

Former President Jimmy Carter is apparently resting comfortably in a Cleveland hospital after becoming ill with an upset stomach on a Delta flight from Atlanta. Let’s hope he didn’t accept an invitation to join the pilots in the cockpit for a drink.

From my funny friend Jim Barach:

Research says that people who made it through the recession easier are older, Republican and live in east coast suburbs. Coincidentally, the people who caused the recession are older, Republican and live in east coast suburbs.

Magic numbers?

Posted September 28, 2010 by left coast sports babe
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With six games to go, SF Giants magic number is 6. L.A. Dodgers magic number is 18.

Tonight, temperamental Chicago hurler Carlos Zambrano stepped up big time and the Cubs hung on for a 1-0 win over the San Diego Padres. Grateful Giants fans are considering sacrificing a water cooler in Zambrano’s honor.


The SF Giants, one of the most “offensively-challenged” teams in baseball, will play the similarly afflicted San Diego Padres this weekend, with the NL Western Division title probably on the line. This could be the first MLB playoff spot ever decided by penalty kicks.


Sad story about the owner of the Segway company falling off a cliff while riding one of his machines. Sad, really. But I defy anyone to read the story without at least trying to stop giggling.

Georgia Bulldogs freshman linebacker Demetre Baker, 19, was jailed this weekend in Athens on DUI and underage alcohol possession charges.

This makes him the 10th football player from the University arrested this year. On a brighter note, Georgia announced they officially are now running the NCAA’s best NFL preparedness program.


For Canadian football fans – The cellar-dwelling Winnipeg Blue Bombers are actually a .500 team at home, but are winless in their six away games. In fact, they might have the worst record on the road since George Michael.


Braylon Edwards was arrested last week for DUI, with a alleged blood alcohol level over twice the legal limit. Jets coach Rex Ryan suspended him for ONE quarter, saying he thought Braylon had “suffered enough.” And Edwards caught a 67-yard touchdown catch that the team beat the Dolphins 31-23 Sunday. Yeah, that’ll teach him.

(If he’d injured or killed someone in an accident wonder if Ryan would have suspended him for a whole half?)

While Michael Douglas’ sequel to “Wall Street” was the number one movie last week, it still put up disappointing numbers after mostly mediocre reviews. Apparently while “Money Never Sleeps,” the audience might doze off.

As the Denver Nuggets try to unload a disgruntled Carmelo Anthony, Anthony is perhaps trying to salvage his reputation by insisting, “I’ve never said I wanted to be traded. I never once said anything about trade talk.”

Indeed, a trade means someone else gets to choose. Carmelo just wants to play where HE wants to play. Wonder if he’s already trying working out a deal for an ESPN special.


from Bill Littlejohn: “Stanford’s FB/LB Owen Marecic became the first player to score both ways at Notre Dame since a 1976 campus visit by David Bowie.”

Rough day for the 49ers, Raiders and Chargers. Who’d a thunk that the best football team in California this year might turn out to be Stanford?


Christine O’Donnell wants us to believe that she is a different person from the woman who made all those crazy quotes in the past. But since people really don’t tend to change all that much as they get older, seems like electing her would just result in “The New Adventures of Old Christine.”

Where is Patsy Cline when you need her?

Posted September 26, 2010 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized

But either “Crazy” or “I Fall to Pieces” would be appropriate for more than one candidate this fall.


Bob Brenley said he has decided not to seek the Cubs managerial job for “personal and professional” reasons. Translation personally, he’s not crazy and professionally, he values his career.


In the latest Christine O’Donnell clip she calls evolution “a myth” and asks the question: if evolution is real, “why aren’t monkeys still evolving into humans?”

Well, actually, not only may this be happening, but some of these semi-evolved creatures seem to be running for office.

Politicians on both sides of the aisle said Sunday that comedian Stephen Colbert’s testimony last week on immigration was “inappropriate” and “an embarrassment.”

I guess the only people who are supposed to behave inappropriately and be embarrassing in Congress have to be elected there first.

UCLA 34 – Texas 12. Texans haven’t been so embarrassed since George W. was president.


Brett Favre’s Vikings got a monkey off their back with their first win of the year against the Detroit Lions. Now, the next step, seeing if Favre can still play against an NFL caliber team.


Cal dominated Arizona’s offense for 58 minutes before losing 10 to 9 on a touchdown with a minute left. Just another example of why “prevent defense” is an oxymoron.


The 49ers are 0-3. Meanwhile, Stanford is 4-0, Andrew Luck is looking like a number one draft pick if he comes out early, and Jim Harbaugh is looking like a mad genius.

Wonder if those two could be reunited at Candletstick park next year?

Allegations of the Rockies using non-humidor baseballs when batting picked up steam Friday when lip readers caught Giants pitcher Tim Lincecum mouthing “‘blanking’ juiced balls.”
Colorado has denied the rumors, citing “their respect for the integrity of the game.””Right,” commented, among others, Gaylord Perry and Derek Jeter.