Posted tagged ‘Burger King jokes’

A Saturday without college football?

December 11, 2010

This week, between the regular season and the bowls, is basically the only Saturday without college football. Well, okay, there are some FCS (Division 2) playoffs, and the Army-Navy game.   Which basically means for hard core college fans the message is – “Don’t ask what’s on,” and “Don’t tell me the answer.”

There is of course a big award ceremony in New York, where the only drama is whether the likely winner is likely to keep his trophy. Maybe for the sake of clarity this year’s award should be referred to as “the Interim Heisman?”

Saturday over 109,000 fans will crowd into Michigan Stadium for an outdoor hockey game featuring the Wolverines and Michigan State Spartans. This will be the largest crowd at the stadium for any event other than a football game. At least until Michigan sells tickets to the public firing of Rich Rodriguez.

Urban Meyer resigned from Florida “to spend more time with his family.”  But there is that Broncos head coaching job open, with Tim Tebow. Standby for God to give Meyer a sign about expanding the definition of family.

A document written by James Naismith 119 years ago detailing the 13 rules of basketball was sold for over $4 million Friday. Naismith wrote the rules while a YMCA PE instructor, as an idea to entertain boys during the winter. Apparently he was particularly concerned about finding an outlet for a young Greg Oden.

No one was hurt when a camel and her costumed rider fell into the audience during a rehearsal for a Christmas pageant in Florida. I can imagine it now – “We Three Kings….” oops, make that two kings.

A Burger King employee is in custody today because he punched a 67 year old customer who was allegedly being disruptive, and the man later died. This is shocking. Normally the only thing that will kill you at Burger King are those double and triple Whoppers.

How lucky is Alex Smith?  He’s had a horrible several years in and as out as quarterback for the San Francisco 49ers, and his poor performances look likely to continue. And yet, he’ still won’t go down in history as the worst Northern California quarterback draft pick this decade.

The World Anti-Doping Agency is investigating Dimitrij Ovtcharov, who won a silver medal for Germany in table tennis at the Beijing Olympics. Apparently the agency became suspicious when he jumped the net to congratulate an opponent.

Cam Newton says he “is not disappointed in his father.” Why should he be? Dad got the money and covered his son’s ass to boot.   Not a bad job.

‎65 days until pitchers and catchers report for Spring Training 2011.  And about three weeks after that until Cubs fans start staying “Wait until Next Year.’

Sarah Palin is going to Haiti for a humanitarian mission. This could work. Democrats, and some Republicans, are frantically raising money for the beleaguered country in hopes of offering them enough to keep her.

Allegedly Palin is heading to Haiti because she wants to show her strength in Barack Obama’s childhood home.   I mean, Haiti, Hawaii, it’s the same place, right?  An island that starts with H and ends with I. (Unfortunately she can’t see either from her house.)