Tacky time

 The Philadelpha Eagles are complaining that other teams aren’t being penalized for illegal hits on Michael Vick. But really, should they be surprised? It’s a “dog eat dog” world.

One little potential sidelight of the Orange Bowl, by the way, is that the Stanford band will have an opportunity to do a halftime show while playing Vick’s alma mater, Virginia Tech.  I’m sure if they choose to honor Vick it will be done in a tasteful fashion.

Alex Smith of the San Francisco 49ers said in an interview he still believes he’s a good quarterback. Even Sarah Palin said “That man is seriously delusional.”

The University of Texas paid football coach Mack Brown over $5 million this year. And the Longhorns won exactly five games. Wow.  Maybe this is the guy who should be coaching the 49ers and Alex Smith.

$1 million dollars a victory. That’s actually less than what the San Francisco Giants have paying Barry Zito.

That fired Macy’s Santa from San Francisco, (who was  fired for telling a very mildly risque joke to an older adult couple who wanted to sit on his lap)  has become an international sensation.  Newspapers and media outlets from all over the world are picking up the story. And tonight, Santa, aka John Toomey, appeared on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno.

Apparently current day Macy’s executives learned NOTHING from watching “Miracle on 34th Street.”  .

(for anyone who hasn’t heard the joke, it’s retold at the bottom of this blog.)


So DADT failed on the floor of the Senate Thursday because “only” 57 Senators wanted to bring it to a vote. Uh, maybe I’m wrong but I thought part of what our military has been fighting for is the right to have a majority-rule democracy.

Derek Fisher made a last-second layup for the Lakers to beat the Clippers 87-86.  A buzzer-beater against the Clippers? Shouldn’t that have an asterisk?

We’re less than a week from the end of the college football season, and a month away from the end of the bowl season. And so far Iowa’s WR Derrell Johnson Koulianos and Nebraska’s DT Baker Steinkuhler have been arrested. Disappointing on some level but good news for all those who took “over” in the police blotter pool.

You cannot make this stuff up: I received an email on behalf of two cruise clients from Princess Cruises warning that their immigration information was not complete and they would not be able to board. Turns out they had passport, birthdates, etc, all fine, but the missing information was that they forgot to say Mr. Scott X is male, and Mrs. Sarah X is female.

Thought from Bill Littlejohn: “The first seven minutes of the men’s college basketball game between Illinois and Oakland was reportedly mistakenly played with a womens ball.Actually, it was a men’s ball that had been mistakenly stored in the Colorado Rockies’ humidor” 

(Wonder how they could tell they had the women’s ball. The ref’s first clue might have been that the players were actually passing it.)

The joke that got Santa fired at Macy’s, which he said he never told to children, was that the reason Santa is so jolly is that “he knows where all the naughty boys and girls live.”

Explore posts in the same categories: political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized

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5 Comments on “Tacky time”

  1. Augie Says:

    Poor Vick. It’s a “Dog Day Afternoon” out there for him.

    Somehow “tasteful” and Stanford band don’t go together. But I’m sure they’ll come up with some canine-appropriate tunes. “You Aint Nutin But a Hound Dog?”

    Sounds like DADT used the same voting system as DWTS.

    Macy’s Santa would have better asked,”Do all balls shrink in a humidor?” Most likely, “the little boy” part that got him fired. He probably would have been honored if Macy’s was in the Castro and Newsome was sitting on his lap, though.

  2. Marc Ragovin Says:

    not really a joke, but i found this humorous. During an interview at halftime of a recentl knicks game, CC Sabathia said he can’t make Nick Swisher’s wedding this Saturday b/c he couldn’t find a baby sitter. You can’t be serious! You make $20 mil a year. You can buy a baby sitting service. Maybe CC wasnt invited and was too embarrassed to admit it, or maybe he was surprised by the question, but he just should have said he couldnt make it and leave it at that

  3. tc Says:

    Suggested tribute for Stanford band AND M. Vick – chain the tuba player to the fence during the game, where he won’t get in the way!

    So if Austin Collie moved to the Detroit/Windsor area, would he then be a Border Collie?

  4. Marc Ragovin Says:

    So i read that more and more athletes are trademarking their catch phrases. Darrell Revis has “Revis Island.” Michael Strahan with “Stomp You Out” and “Manny Being Manny”

    And now Brett Favre hopes to register “Point, Click, Shoot.”

    Unfortuantely for Brett Favre, “Point, Click, Shoot,” is already taken

  5. Gary Morton Says:

    Wonder how they could tell they had the women’s ball. The ref’s first clue might have been that the players were actually passing it.
    And, it matched each teams’ uniforms & shoes.

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