Archive for May 2009

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True questions from Hawaii…

May 31, 2009

Under the “you can’t make this stuff up” category, today’s post is actual questions asked by tourists in Hawaii.  Or potential tourists to me, their travel agent.

And no,  I am not making any of this up.

 

Can you use U.S. money in Hawaii?

(and the corollary   – do you need a passport to go to Hawaii?”)

And once there…

To hotel staff : Do you live on the island?  And “So where do you get electricity?”

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Is there water on the other side of the island?

 

Can you swim under the island?

 

And my favoite” – “How do you keep the islands from floating apart?”

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Meltdowns

May 29, 2009

Carlos Zambrano was suspended for six games following his recent meltdown.  Which was shocking, since Cubs’ fans are not normally used to meltdowns before September.

 

Embattled Senator Roland Burris of Illinois now says that his conversations about fundraising and the Senate seat prove his innocence.  Right, like Manny Ramirez’s suspension proves that Major League Baseball had a real drug policy.

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Many sports fans across the United States are rooting for the Cavaliers to win the NBA championship, because the city of Cleveland has not won a major sports championshp since 1964.  Or as Cubs’ fans say,  ” only yesterday.”

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Commie pinko alert.

 

At this point it seems like President Obama’s first Supreme Court nominee will sail through the nomination process.    And if not, it will at least be interesting to see people compare her to Clarence Thomas.

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Cheaters and other jokes

May 27, 2009

The University of Memphis is under investigation for “major” rule violations, including “knowing fraudulence or misconduct” on the SAT exam by a player on their 2007-2008, team.  Apparently the NCAA became really suspicious when the unnamed player involved said  “What’s an SAT?”

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Manny Ramirez is rehabbing during his 50 game suspension with a minor league team.  In the best interests of baseball, some are asking that the rehab be with the Nationals.

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Randy Johnson got his 299th win on Wednesday night.   He will go for win 300 next Wednesday.  Which means another  potential milestone  with  an asterisk  – next Wednesday the Giants are playing the Nationals.

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From the very funny Alex Kaseberg.  Very tacky.  Wish I had written it:

The latest rumor is that Alex Rodriguez was making out in a New York club with Kate Hudson. It looks like A-Rod is trying to pull a Capt “Sully” Sullenberger: get lucky and land on the Hudson.

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The Blue Jays lost their ninth game in a row.  Which is making this one of the worst months of May ever in Toronto.   Although to be fair, the Maple Leafs seldom play in May.

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Wednesday night was the season premier of  “Wipeout.”    And not just the Nuggets’ fourth quarter in Los Angeles.

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First he talked about how he and Bristol basically lived together at her mother Sarah’s  house.  Now Levi Johnston has said in an interview that Bristol Palin’s father, Todd, repeatedly offered her a car if she would break up with him.   Proving once again, if you are going to throw someone under the bus, you had better have puncture-proof tires.

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Judges and puppets and other craziness..

May 27, 2009

Nike clearly hopes for a Lakers- Cavaliers NBA final, and in fact already has a commercial featuring Kobe and Lebron puppets.

If the Nuggets and Magic end  up in the finals instead, will they be known as the “Put a sock in them” puppets?

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For anyone who thinks President Obama’s first pick for a Supreme Court Justice is unqualified, two words:  Harriet Miers.

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Dick Cheney has already come out against Barack Obama’s Supreme Court pick.   And former President Bush is still giggling trying to say “Sonia Sotomayor” three times real fast.
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Dahntay Jones was assessed a flagrant foul after the league reviewed game tape that showed him tripping Kobe Bryant.   This could lead to a suspension if he does it again, along with the undying appreciation of most NBA fans outside of Los Angeles.

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Zack Greinke is now 8-1 for the Kansas City Royals.  It’s not that the Royals aren’t used to eight wins in May. But usually it’s the team effort.

 

Sonia Sotomayor, the first Latina nominee to the Supreme Court, is a New Yorker of Puerto Rican descent.   Republicans, casting at any straws in hopes of derailing her nomination, are wondering if there is a history of her ruling in Sharks v. Jets.

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Judge Sotomayor issued the injunction that ended the baseball strike of 1994-1995, which brought major league baseball back after 232 days.  Although the timing of her decision may have contributed to the demise of the Montreal Expos, and their eventually becoming the Washington Nationals.  Despite this,  fans in D.C.  still largely support her.

 

Some credit Sotomayor with saving major league baseball.  As opposed to all those balls that suddenly started flying out of ballparks after the strike for no officially discernable reason.

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Minor league action…

May 26, 2009

Kraft cheese singles is offering a buy-one, get one free special on minor league baseball games.  Does that include the Nationals?

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The Patriots and Redskins became the first teams to sign licensing deals with state-sponsored lotteries after the NFL approved ”  Which is particularly odd because neither of them are named for a state.

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Star Trek continues to do well at the box office.   Though it will now face competition from the new small budget horror film for trekkies – “The Girlfriend Experience.”

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Actually the state of Michigan is trying to license a state lottery with the Detroit Lions.  Although people who are willing to spend money for such a slim chance to win are already season ticket holders.

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Television executives have been counting on a Kobe-Lebron showdown in the NBA finals.  The way things are going, however, they may still get that matchup-  but tee times will be involved.

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The NHL has been trying to work out a deal with NBC about televising the Stanley Cup finals.  In hopes of higher ratings, the network wanted to start the finals 10 days after the last semi-final game.

Fortunately for the league, a poll was done of U.S hockey fans and the idea was rejected by both of them.

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Emerging from the undisclosed location

May 25, 2009

So Dick Cheney, who spent most of his eight years as Vice President largely silent and hidden from view in an “undisclosed location,” has now emerged as one of the most visible critics of the new administration. 

And in a display of bipartisanship, President Obama has asked Cheney if he could suggest Joe Biden follow the same model.

 

One in four Americans admit that they text while driving.  Of the other three, two say they only text while stopped in traffic or at a red light.  And the other one says “what’s a text?”

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Arizona Senator John Kyl says he and fellow Republicans may filibuster if President Obama nominates a Supreme Court justice who decides cases based on “emotions or feelings”   Said Dick Cheney – “What are emotions or feelings?”

 

So one question, as President Obama nears his choice for a Supreme Court justice.  Will that nominee be decided before the Senate race between Al Franken and Norm Coleman is decided?

Okay, two questions.  Will there be another election before that Senate race is decided.

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The Orlando Magic are leading their playoff series against the Cleveland Cavaliers 2-1, and are a last second Lebron James shot away from leading 3-0.   Meanwhile, the Los Angeles Lakers are involved in a close series with the Denver Nuggets, and could also easily have been down 3-0.

A Nuggets-Magic NBA final?  David Stern saying he would relish such a matchup would be almost as believable as Bud Selig’s denial of baseball’s steroid problems.

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Billionaire Tom Golisano says he is moving to Florida because New York has become too expensive.   Apparently not even a billionaire can now afford to take his family to a Yankee game.

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Today is Memorial Day, a serious time for Americans to remember those who have given their lives for this country.  And less seriously but more practically in recent times, to remember how much lower gas prices were the week before Memorial Day. 

 

and finally from Jim Barach,

The CDC says that people older than 52 may have swine flu immunity from previous exposure to the strain. In a related story, the CDC also says that John McCain is immune from the Black Plague.

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Car 54 where are you?

May 24, 2009

For anyone who remembers  “Car 54 where are you?,” apparently it’s now a reality show in Mountain View, California.

After a rock concert a police officer in a “lapse of judgment,” according to the San Francisco Chronicle, left the keys in the ignition for “a few minutes.”

The car was last seen “speeding and sort of showboating” on a nearby street Friday night.  As of Saturday night, the car, actually car 3006, has not been found.

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Kobe Bryant and his wife have filed a countersuit against their housekeeper, who had previously sued them for intolerable working conditions.  This could get messy. Wonder what happened to get it to this point…was Kobe’s jeweller unavailable for assistance?

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In Major League Baseball interleague action this weekend the Baltimore Orioles (18-25) are playing the Washington Nationals (12-30.)   For fan interest and high-level competition this has to rival the annual congressional softball game.

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Okay, political commentary to follow.  Conservatives can stop reading now…

 

The latest Guantanamo controversy is the idea that if we close the prison and send the prisoners to the U.S., that our country will be less safe having these potential terrorists on our shores. 

So here in California maybe it’s time for medals for the  Marin county residents we’ve been lampooning for years …when they’ve been living with serial killers and other death row inmates in their backyard at San Quentin for years.

I’m willing to concede the need to keep potential terrorists in a safe place.  What bothers me, however, is the thought that our maximum security prisons don’t qualify.

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You can’t make this up – reality show edition

May 23, 2009

So let’s see, Kate Gosselin of “Jon and Kate plus eight” is now complaining about excessive media attention.  Which besides being distressing is presumably making it hard to do her job…which is, raising her kids on a reality television show.    

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The San Francisco Giants lost yet ANOTHER game 2-1 Friday night, this time in twelve innings.  Their third 2-1 loss in four days.  (Their fourth loss was 3-2) 

It’s not so much that sports fans can’t deal with all these losses, it’s that usually with these scores, penalty kicks are involved.

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You think somewhere, someday a couple years ago,  somebody in Giants management  said “Dear God, please rid us from the taint of steroids and performance enchancing drugs?”   If so, mission accomplished.

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Okay, what’s wrong with this picture.  American Idol season two runner-up Clay Aiken said on his website  he tunes into the show about once a season.  He said this year, he saw Adam Lambert do “Ring of Fire”  and that it was  “contrived,” “awful” and “slightly frightening.”

But Aiken also complained that he thought the series showed bias for Adam over the eventual winner, Kris.

But, okay, Lambert’s  version of “Ring of Fire” was not well received by the judges. So either Clay has turned in more than one a season, or he’s making it all up. Or both. 

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Bristol Palin is quoted in People Magazine as saying  ” If girls realized the consequences of sex, nobody would be having sex. Trust me. Nobody.”

But okay, by that token, if people really realized the painful consequences of a whole lot of things that started out just as lighthearted fun, there would be no DUIs, no drug arrests, and no one would raise their child to be a Cubs fan.

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Win one for the Clipper?

May 22, 2009

Notre Dame’s football team is considering scheduling a game at Yankee Stadium.     So for that game will be team’s motto be “Win one for the Clipper?”

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So why would the Fighting Irish want to play in Yankee Stadium.  It’s home to an over-hyped, over-rated team with fans who have an over-inflated sense of their own self-importance.  Oh. Never mind.

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The NFL has decided to allow teams to sign licensing deals with state lotteries.  The Patriots were the first to sign a deal, with the state of… New England?

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Apparently the state of Michigan is talking to the Detroit Lions.   Such lottery tickets are likely to be very popular.  As Lions fans who buy tickets will have a better chance of winning the lottery than seeing their team win.

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So for the second time, Sean Penn and Robin Wright appear to have put their divorce plans on hold and are attempting a reconciliation.  Even Brett Favre is saying, “Dudes, make up your minds.”

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The San Francisco Giants continue their terrible hitting.  Especially when they have men on base.  In fact,  if this keeps up, A T and T park will have a new area code – 643.

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Former  Governor Rod Blagojevich is forbidden from leaving the country. But his wife  Patti will leave him with the family in Illinois for a while, and  take his place on the reality show in Costa Rica.   I think her reasoning was “Now I’m married to a celebrity, get me out of here.”

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The San Francisco Giants and other jokes.

May 20, 2009

Well, their hitting anyway.

Big Papi, David Ortiz, final hit his first home run in 150 at bats.  Which should make him an honorary Giant.

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Variation on an old joke.  How can you criticize the San Francisco Giants’ offense.  There’s insufficient evidence.

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The San Francisco pitching staff may soon start referring to themselves as “Bra-less.”  As in, no support.

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At this point the Giants are scoring less than a Star Trek convention.

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University of Tennessee football coach Lane Kiffin was guilty of a minor NCAA rules violation for his early announcement of a recruit’s signing on Twitter.  This is shocking.  There are grown men who Twitter?

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After the finale, we’ve learned one thing about America.  We may be ready for a black president. We’re just not ready for an American Idol with black nail polish.

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The NCAA has denied another year of eligibility for Florida State receiver Corey Surrency because he previously played for the Florida Kings, a  semi-pro team. Well, if that’s the standard,  Surrency would have been better off had he just played for the Detroit Lions.

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A man called 911 because his adult son wouldn’t clean up the mess he had made.  Yeah, it’s tough these days to be George H. W. Bush.

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American Idol

May 20, 2009

Why do they call it American Idol when it is taped in Los Angeles?

Because the Lakers in games 1,4 and 6 against Houston basically copyrighted “Los Angeles Idle.”

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Paula Abdul  today talked to contestant Adam Lambert about how he lifted the judges’ spirits.   In her case those spirits were probably vodka, rum and tequila.

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A recent study showed that having daughters rather than sons makes you more liberal.  So who’s more disappointed about President George W. Bush?  The liberals who wish that statement were true, and the ultra-conservatives who think it IS true.

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A recent study showed that having daughters rather than sons makes you more liberal.  That’s really scary, said everyone who knows Dick Cheney.

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The Washington Wizards had the second worst record in the NBA, and yet shockingly  fell to fifth in the NBA draft lottery.    Guess the only thing you can count on with that bad a performance in DC is re-election.

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American Idol contestants Adam Lambert and Kris Allen each got millions more votes than any of Arnold Schwarzenegger’s  California special election ballot measures.   Guess the next time California elects an entertainer as governor, maybe we should make sure he can sing.

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This may only make sense to British readers, or those who have travelled through London.  But,  passsngers from US Airways flight 1549 are just now beginning to get their belongings back.  Which is still better than some poor folks who connected through Terminal 5.

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Yet another rider

May 18, 2009

Since Mike Smith has another commitment for June 6, and Calvin Borel will stick with Rachel Alexandra for the Belmont,  Mine that Bird will need another jockey for the third leg of the Triple Crown.

Three riders in five weeks.  They may have to change the horse’s name to Paris Hilton.

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Barack Obama gave the commencement speech at Notre Dame.  There was an embarrassing moment afterwards when some students and faculty said their next goal was to see their team in a BCS bowl game, and the President’s response “No, you can’t.”

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Pittsburgh Steelers  linebacker James Harrison will skip the Super Bowl Champions visit to the White House, again, saying that it’s “not a big deal.”

Well, if he wants to avoid the issue in future, maybe Pittsburgh could just trade him to the Lions.

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Major League Baseball has announced that this year’s World Series games will start earlier, at 757p EST, instead of around 830p.   This still means games are likely to end around 1130pm on the East Coast, but, hey, at least on a school night kids will be able to stay up and watch the National Anthem.

Jon Gruden will join the Monday Night Football crew this year.  For conspiracy theorists, this year there are NO appearances on MNF by the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.  And the only appearance of the Oakland Raiders is in the late night game of the season opening doubleheader, which the main crew won’t call.

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Curlin and Rachel Alexandra

May 18, 2009

Horse racing’s newest star filly, Rachel Alexandra, will apparently be bred to Curlin, a former superstar in his own right.   Which will make them the most famous parents in the thoroughbred world.

Wonder if Curlin and Rachel will then adopt zebra foals from Africa?

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Or

Wonder if before they mate, if the filly will have to convert to Scientology?

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Arnold Schwarzenegger received an honorary degree at USC, although he never attended classes there.    Does this make him an honorary football player?

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Arnold Schwarzenegger received a honorary degree from USC.  The Trojans hope this increases the odds of a gubernatorial pardon for their basketball program.

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President Obama spoke at Notre Dame commencement Sunday and faced several hundred protesters who were upset at his pro-choice stance.  The protesters said it was nothing personal but they would protest any speaker on campus who was not anti-abortion.   Unless he could lead them to a New Year’s Day Bowl game.

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The NBA playoffs seem to go on forever, especially when series like Orlando-Boston and Houston-Los Angeles last seven games.  Though as the Lakers point out, in a seven game series, you only have to show up for four.

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Okay, a political thought here… but.

Apparently Republicans are already gathering ammunition and preparing their arguments against President Obama’s Supreme Court pick, even though Obama hasn’t actually announced his choice yet.

Not that this might affect his decision, but in the spirit of this so-called bipartisanship, have Republicans thought of actually suggesting a few names of candidates they actually think ARE qualified?

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Nancy Pelosi claims now that she did not know the CIA was engaging in waterboarding or other forms of forture.  Although in hindsight maybe she should have been suspicious when the CIA liasion who briefed her was Jack Bauer.

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Though I admit it, I am a fan of 24.  And usually end up supporting what Jack and his new cohort Renee do to get answers on the show.  But let’s be real… expecting torture to work because it works on 24, is like writing an analysis of marriage based on Desperate Housewives.

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This week in Buffalo

May 16, 2009

This week in Buffalo, former defensive end Bruce Smith was charged with DUI, and fullback Corey McIntyre was charged with indecent exposure for exposing himself to a woman.

So who’d a thunk it, the Bills have this embarrassing a week, and T.O was not involved.

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These two arrests were the fourth and fifth for the Bills this off-season. Who do they think they are?  The Bengals?

 

Quit while you’re ahead department. 

The State Department has revised a report that erroneously pegged the salaries of some foreigners working abroad at U.S. embassies and other places at less than $1 per day.

Two days after the report was released, the inspector general’s office said it’s not $1 a day.  It’s $4 a day.

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The Bengals will apparently be able to clear their season ticket holder waiting list.  This is shocking, the Bengals have a season ticket holder waiting list?

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Manny Ramirez is telling Dodgers fans he will be staying in top shape during his 50 game suspension for testing positive for HCG, a pregnancy hormone used as a fertility drug.  He also said he is committed to a healthy diet despite his cravings for pickles and ice cream.

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There are rumors that Jon and Kate of  “Jon and Kate plus 8” may split up.  The second most common response to this news is shock.  The most common response “Who are Jon and Kate?”

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The Preakness

May 16, 2009

The exacta (the 1-2 finishers) in the Preakness were a filly and a gelding.  Or as Hillary Clinton calls it “A dream team.”

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Sort of ironic, the horse, Mine that Bird,  who came the closest to chasing down the filly, Rachel Alexandra, wouldn’t know what to do if he caught her.

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Natural talent…

May 16, 2009

A resolution presented to the Vista, California school board to declare June 1 Carrie Prejean day failed this week.

The resolution stated  that Prejean is an example “of what great things can be accomplished with natural talent, hard work and dedication.” Considering that pageant-paid “boob job,  honoring Prejean for her  natural talent is like honoring Joe Biden for his natural hair.

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Wonder who drafted that resolution, maybe the same guy who drafted the Dodgers’ resolution to honor Manny for HIS natural talent.

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Whoever said numbers don’t lie apparently wasn’t a fan of beauty pageants or baseball.

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GM said they will close over 1000 dealerships.  Which means that next year those dealerships will sell about as many cars as they are selling now.

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While it’s anyone’s guess who will be the next Governor of California, it’s pretty sure who won’t be getting the endorsement from Northern California’s largest newspaper.

San Francisco mayor Gavin Newsom apparently said to a reporter from The Economist  if the SF Chronicle were to fold, “people under 30 wouldn’t even notice.”  Although my money’s on the Chronicle to survive longer than Gavin’s gubernatorial bid.

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Michael Phelps’ mom Debbie  is apparently unhappy about “those cheap girls” – cocktail waitresses, strippers, etc, that her son is dating.

But hey, now that he’s already the new Mark Spitz, maybe Michael has set his sights on being the next Bill Clinton.

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See Sarah run, See Sarah write

May 15, 2009

Sarah Palin has signed a contract to write her memoirs.  Presumably the book will be illustrated with pictures of Russia taken from her house.

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Governor Palin said she is writing the book in part because she is tired of the media exploiting her family.  Apparently she’s decided it’s time  to go back to exploiting her family by herself. 

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In the meantime, Elizabeth Edwards’ book, and her book tour, seem to be doing a good job of sinking any future political career John might have.

Instead of  “Stand by your man,” it’s more like “Stand on your man.”  In stillettos.

 

Detroit running back Kevin Smith has guaranteed the Lions would make the playoffs next season.  Maybe he meant the B.C. Lions?

 (note to Americans on the above joke, the B.C. Lions are a CFL team from Vancouver.)

The Cincinnati Bengals will be featured on the HBO series about training camps  “Hard Knocks” this fall.   While some in Cincinnati are nervous about the reality show, at least it’s an improvment over the Bengals’ previous performance, on “Hard Time.”

Or-

At least it’s an improvment over the Bengals’ previous reality show – “Cops.”

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As the Obama administration deals with the torture issue, some are floating kinder, gentler, versions of interrogation that might be as effective as waterboarding…

For starters,  nonstop playing of “Ishtar” and “Waterworld”  in detainees’ cells,  or perhaps DVD replays of “the View,”  or perhaps just having Joe Biden come in to say a few words,

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President Obama has decided that his administration will not torture.  And in keeping with that decision, he won’t put detainees through anything he wouldn’t go through himself.  Which means that soon, anyone held and suspected of being a terrorist by the US will have their mother-in-law invited to stay with them.

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The fall of Troy? And other Pac 10 problems.

May 14, 2009

The NCAA is looking into allegations that coach Tim Floyd gave $1000.00 to a friend of O.J. Mayo’s to recruit the star player to USC.

If USC ends up on probation or forfeiting victories over this, the incident may be known as “Sinko de Mayo.”

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Sorry, I can’t come up with a better punchline than porn-star Stormy Daniels’ campaign slogan.  Ms. Daniels is running for the Louisiana Senate against David Vitters, the conservative family-values Republican who admitted to being with prostitutes.

Her slogan:  Stormy Daniels: Screwing People Honestly”

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Miss California, Carrie Prejean, now says about the famous gay marriage question,  “I felt as though Satan was trying to tempt me.”   

As opposed to what she was trying to do to men with those topless pictures?

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And Sarah Palin defended Carrie Prejean for staying “true to herself.”  Does that mean Governor Palin is giving her daughters permission to get their own breast implants?

 

Arizona State University honored President Obama as their graduation speaker, but declined to give him an honorary degree.  Apparently at ASU, degrees are for those who earn them, unless baseball or football is involved.

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Bill Clinton chastised Dick Cheney jumping into the spotlight and acting like he was still in office  –   Said the former president “It’s over.”

Does this really need a punchline?

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T.O’s reality show…

May 13, 2009

Terrell Owens has begun filming for his upcoming reality show.  This may mark the first time that “T.O” and reality have been used in the same sentence.

No word on what the show will be named.  Since Owens hopes to lead the Buffalo Bills to the playoffs, the show could start off as the “Amazing Race,” until Terrell starts referring to quarterback Trent Owens as “American Idle.”

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This may only make sense to “24” watchers.  But Monday night’s episode was about as likely to make people want daughters as, say, “King Lear.”

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And this will only make sense to NHL fans.

NASA has sent a mission up to fix the aging Hubble telescope.  How old is the Hubble?  It has pictures of the last Canadian Stanley Cup Champions..

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Just a thought.  Elizabeth Edwards says she was naive.  In related news Bud Selig is hailing the suspension of Manny Ramirez as proof that major league  baseball is really running a clean program with good enforcement standards in place.

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From all indications, the baseball testing program is so weak that failing a drug test is analogous to losing a spelling bee, to George W. Bush.

 

Speaking of performance enhancing…

Miss California, Carrie Prejean,  wll keep her crown, thanks to a decision by Donald Trump. Tuesday she called a news conference to thank her fans, who have “confided in me that they have found hope and inspiration in my story.” 

Yeah,  nothing says inspirational like posing topless at 17 and having breast implants at 21.  Who are these fans — the managers and customers of  Hooters?

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Somewhere in the middle of the NBA playoff season..

May 12, 2009

The NBA playoff season just might get finished by July this year.  It’s a shame Monty Python never were basketball fans.. could have put a whole new spin on a famous skit.

“Still no sign of the finals,  still no sign of the finals…”

“How long is it?”

“That’s a mighty personal question…”

(If you don’t know Monty Python, this won’t make sense.  Not that they ever made sense.  If you do know Monty Python then let me congratulation the Lakers Sunday on their dead parrot imitation.”

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How long is the NBA season?  Even Joe Biden complains, it goes on forever…

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The UCLA Bruins will shut Pauley Pavilion for the 2011-2 basketball season while they renovate their famous arena.  The Bruins actually may end up playing home games at the Staples Center.

Which is rough news for the Clippers, just when they’d gotten used to the idea of being the Center’s second best team.

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On Mothers’s Day, the Los Angeles Lakers had a chance to really take control in their series against Houston, especially with Yao Ming out.  But they mailed their cards to their mothers, and then they mailed in the game.

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The Cleveland Cavaliers continued their march towards the NBA finals, sweeping the Hawks 4-0.  In fact, they destroyed Atlanta faster than anyone not named Sherman.

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A woman found a copy of a script for the sequel to the movie “Twilight” in a trash can.  I suppose it would be tacky to say that it’s a shame that didnt happen to the original

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Barack Obama invited the UNC basketball team to the White House. Not only were they the national champions,  but in his ESPN pool the Tarheels were the President’s first pick to win it all.  Which is better luck than he had with his Cabinet. 

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Donald Trump soon will decide the fate of Miss California, Carrie Prejean.  It will be a tough decision for the aging magnate with the young surgically enhanced blonde beauty….  Should he fire her or marry her?

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