Posted tagged ‘President Bush jokes’

Color me fined?

July 29, 2010

Brian Wilson, the SF Giants All-Star Closer, was fined $1000 for wearing the orange shoes he wore during the All-Star game during the regular season. Apparently the shoes were “too flashy,” and “distracting.”

Let’s hope the MLB fashion police never show up at A T and T Park on Friday night. (When the team ALL has been wearing bright orange jerseys.)

Actually Wilson violated one of baseball’s cardinal rules. The only time a player is allowed to wear anything colorful and or ridiculous is if that part of the uniform is fully licensed by MLB for sales to the public. (Anyone remember those Fourth of July caps, for starters?)

Scary thought, Lindsay Lohan has now done more jail time than any Goldman Sachs executive.

Bad month for the latest former USC star named O.J. First the school strips him from the basketball record books, now today he was cut from Team USA. Guess O.J. just couldn’t convince coaches to hold the Mayo.

The SF Giants won on a 10th inning walkoff hit, have won 17 of their last 21 games, and Buster Posey is on a 21 game hitting streak (one short of the team rookie record set by Willie McCovey.) Meanwhile, the lead story at ESPN, A-Rod remains stuck on 599 home runs.

ESPN decided to pull an unflattering profile of Lebron James shortly after it was published on their website today. Apparently the story didn’t come close to making Lebron look as bad as “the Decision.”

Anyone want to lay odds on what marriage of egos will collapse first? James, Bosh and Wade with the Heat? Or T.O and Ochicinco with the Bengals? Even Larry King has commented that it’s going to be tough for those relationships to last.

From Bill Littlejohn: “Florida’s Chris Coughlan is on the disabled list after injuring himself while throwing a pie in the face of teammate Wes Helms during a celebration.Looks like the Marlins have gone from fire sales to Soupy Sales”

The Governor of New Jersey has slammed “Jersey Shore” as a negative for the state. Can’t wait to see what he says this season about the Nets.

The news from London, BP is firing their CEO Tony Heyward and sending him to work on a joint venture in Russia. And President Medvedev responded “Wait a minute, what about our mutual non-aggression policy?”

Republicans are worried about the release of former President George W. Bush’s memoirs, titled “Decision Points,” right around the November elections. Democrats just hope that for their party the memoirs turn out to be a thousand points of delight.

Republicans claim that the new Democratic National Committee strategy of trying to tie the GOP to the Tea Party is “political quackery.” Well, if it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck…


The San Francisco Giants and other jokes.

May 20, 2009

Well, their hitting anyway.

Big Papi, David Ortiz, final hit his first home run in 150 at bats.  Which should make him an honorary Giant.

Variation on an old joke.  How can you criticize the San Francisco Giants’ offense.  There’s insufficient evidence.

The San Francisco pitching staff may soon start referring to themselves as “Bra-less.”  As in, no support.

At this point the Giants are scoring less than a Star Trek convention.

University of Tennessee football coach Lane Kiffin was guilty of a minor NCAA rules violation for his early announcement of a recruit’s signing on Twitter.  This is shocking.  There are grown men who Twitter?

After the finale, we’ve learned one thing about America.  We may be ready for a black president. We’re just not ready for an American Idol with black nail polish.

The NCAA has denied another year of eligibility for Florida State receiver Corey Surrency because he previously played for the Florida Kings, a  semi-pro team. Well, if that’s the standard,  Surrency would have been better off had he just played for the Detroit Lions.

A man called 911 because his adult son wouldn’t clean up the mess he had made.  Yeah, it’s tough these days to be George H. W. Bush.