Archive for May 5, 2009

This Bud’s for you…

May 5, 2009

From Nick Coombs:

Baseball Commissioner Bud Selig was selected to give the commencement address at the University of Wisconsin. In honor of his contribution the the national pastime the University said they will present Selig with an honorary diploma with an asterisk.

In related news, Commission Selig praised the law mandating a 21 year old drinking age, and commended the University for being alcohol free for underclassmen.

California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger has announced it might be time to study the legalization of marijuana.   Actually, recent polls of Californians show most people support such legalization.   I guess they feel that it’s high time.

Many California schools were supposed to be closed for a  week because of swine flu, but due to new government regulations they will reopen as early as Wednesday. Bummer for all those families who planned to take the week off for a cheap Mexican vacation.

And following up on yesterday, more celebrity flu strains.  Political edition.

Joe Biden flu.  Seems innocuous, but…it…never..ends.

John Edwards flu:  Supposedly safely quarantined, but more free-ranging than we thought.

Norm Coleman flu:  You may think you have it beat, but it can hang around for months.

Beyond swine flu…sports flus…

May 5, 2009

Okay, maybe the swine flu worries are calming down just a bit.

But what about these potential new sports flus?

 

Sharks flu – Fever builds over the winter, but it fizzles out by May.

Yankees flu – hits at ballparks, seems to empty out the seats around home plate.

Kobe Bryant flu – very strong, but no one ever seems to pass it on.

San Francisco Giants flu – Could potentially be dangerous but hasn’t really hit anyone yet.

Mine the Bird flu  – You’ve never heard of it before, but you can’t catch it.

Brett Favre flu – Particularly persistent strain,  started in Wisconsin, spread to New York, and just when you think it’s finally gone, it pops up again in Minnesota.

Alex Rodriguez flu –  Not as drug resistant as first thought, and it tips you off when it’s coming.