Bits and pieces.

Posted November 10, 2010 by left coast sports babe
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A particularly random collection of thoughts tonight:

First a little NBA news:  The New Orleans Hornets are undefeated.   And tonight’s score from South Beach  – Utah 116 – Miami 114.

Maybe Lebron should have taken his talents to South Louisiana. Or the South Shore of Salt Lake.

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The latest from Alaska, which may soon change their state slogan to “And you thought Florida was weird”:

Joe Miller, the Republican tea party candidate who may have lost to Senator Lisa Murkowski and her write-in campaign, is now filing a lawsuit to invalidate ballots where “Murkowski” was spelled incorrectly.

Um, excuse me, if being able to spell correctly was any sort of  requirement in politics,  this country would never have elected George W.

(or for that matter, Dan Quayle.)

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Charlie Sheen is dismissing concerns about his New York hotel room meltdown, saying it was just “one bad night.” Yeah, by that standard, the Titanic only had “one bad night.”

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Dallas Cowboys fans who visit the team’s website were out of luck for a couple days. According to the Dallas Morning News, the team forgot to renew the dallascowboys.com domain, and the site was left blank. It’s that attention to detail that has made the Cowboys what they are today.

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Regarding New York’s contract negotiations with Derek Jeter, a source purportedly with “intimate knowledge” of the discussions told ESPN – “The Yankees are going to overpay him.” That’s “intimate knowledge”? The Yankees overpay everybody.

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You never know when there might be a silver lining.  Think of the schools who might have dropped out early in the recruiting battle for Auburn quarterback Cam Newton when the price seemed too high.

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Meanwhile at USC they are shocked?  Some other school actually might have outbid them?

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The latest allegations have Newton telling a Mississippi State recruiter that the Auburn “money was too much.”

Who knew that one of the main differences between the NFL and NCAA football might be that the NFL has a salary cap.

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(In all semi-seriousness I can see where this could be going.  Since it’s just rumors at this point, the young quarterback leads Auburn to a top ten season and a  BCS bowl. Fans have a great time.  Then when more details come out the school “forfeits” their wins and goes on probation.   And Newton signs a big NFL contract.   Yeah, that’ll teach them.  

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Go figure, in San Francisco just about anyone can get a medical marijuana prescription. But heaven help you now if you decide to satisfy the munchies with a small cheeseburger and fries and want a free toy to go with that.

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Carnival Cruise Lines’ new slogan? “When you’re hot, you’re hot.”

Or maybe “Row, row, row your boat.”

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It could be worse for those stranded passengers on the Carnival Splendor.  Kathy Lee Gifford could be stuck on board with them.

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Well,  Bristol Palin may not be the most talented on Dancing with the Stars, but at least she has proven she’s not a clone of her mother.  The competition is more than halfway over, and Bristol hasn’t quit yet.

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Meanwhile, Bristol’s mother is battling yet another member of the “liberal media,” this time calling out a reporter, Sudeep Reddy, who questioned her knowledge about inflation, or rather the lack thereof.  Palin accused him of “not reading his own paper.”   Except two things – first, Sarah misquoted the article in question, and second, this liberal paper Reddy writes for  is  the Wall Street Journal.

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Cowboy down

Posted November 9, 2010 by left coast sports babe
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The Dallas Cowboys have fired Wade Phillips. No word on Phillips’ next career move but for now he and the rats leaving with him just plan to swim home.

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The Texas Rangers won only one game in five against the San Francisco Giants.  That’s still a better winning percentage than the Dallas Cowboys.

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Jerry Jones has now turned to Jason Garrett in his quest to find a coach who can lead Dallas to the Super Bowl. With all due respect, the way the Cowboys have been playing, it would be a stretch to find a coach who could take the team to a BCS bowl.

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The Dallas Cowboys are 1-7, the University of Texas Longhorns are 4-5. Okay, who’d a thunk the state’s football reputation might rest on the shoulders of the TCU Horned Frogs?

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A Florida woman and her boyfriend have been jailed and charged with trying to sell the woman’s 8-week-old grandson for $30,000. What kind of monster would try to sell a baby. Now a teenager….okay, that would make sense.

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Senator Jim Demint said “The Tea Party is responsible for just about every Republican elected around the country.” As well as the election of more than a few Democrats.

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Stanford is #6 in the BCS standings and the Raiders are actually in the playoff hunt. which means as of now the 49ers are the third best football team in the Bay Area.

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Tim Tebow, who has yet to throw a pass in the NFL, is writing an “inspirational memoir” at the age of 23. 23?!! Now I know what they mean about saying God has a Tim Tebow complex.

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 Tiger Woods is getting VIP treatment and a warm welcome in Thailand, where he is playing in a charity golf tournament. Makes sense -remember “The King and I?” That guy had a LOT of concubines.

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from my funny friend Neil Berliner:  The Mets have named Paul DePodesta VP in charge of Amateur Scouting. He won’t have to look far on that team to find amateurs!

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Auburn quarterback Cam Newton apparently was caught cheating at the University of Florida in 2008 before he transferred to a junior college. Newton allegedly turned in a paper written by another student, and when caught, replaced it with one purchased off the internet.  This is shocking news. Florida football players have classes that require writing papers?

A similar scandal happened a few years ago at Florida State.  Apparently one player turned in an exam book where another student had actually done all the coloring.

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By a nose.

Posted November 8, 2010 by left coast sports babe
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Super horse Zenyetta failed in her attempt to be the first racehorse in modern history to go 20-0 when she lost her final race, the Breeder’s Cup Classic, by a nose.   But to be fair, the 6 year old filly was running against 13 colts, and was running on an unfamiliar track in her first race at Churchill Downs.  Zenyetta was probably the only one who stopped to ask for directions.

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Speaking of by a nose, the Oakland Raiders and New York Jets both won in overtime. What’s the more shocking  story, that the Raiders actually had sold out their game against the Kansas City Chiefs?  Or that it took overtime for the Jets to beat the Detroit Lions.

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This is not a typo. Stanford is #6 in the latest BCS rankings. Yes, football.

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What a great week for Northern California sports fans. The Giants win the World Series, Stanford’s football team is ranked #6 in the country, even the Raiders and Warriors are winning.

And oh yeah, for the capper, the 49ers had a bye week.

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The Philadelphia Eagles upset the Indianapolis Colts 26-24, aided by an amazing 32 yard sprint from scrimmage by Michael Vick. I suppose it would be tacky to say he ran as if the hounds of hell were after him.

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MSNBC executives have decided two days was an “appropriate punishment’, so Keith Olbermann will be back on the air on Tuesday. Some of Olbermann’s supporters are so excited they may actually watch his show.

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In the California gubernatorial election, Jerry Brown spent $7.50 per vote. Meg Whitman spent $43 per vote. Just another example of why you can’t trust Republicans to spend responsibly.

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More than one domestic airline today reported problems ranging from  with online checkin to on-time departures because of the change away from Daylight Savings Time.  Yeah, I can see how that would just sneak up on them.

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The airlines hope to have all the problems corrected in time for the change BACK to Daylight Saving Time in Spring. For which they will charge a modest “time change fee.”

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Republican senate leader Mitch McConnell said that Republicans want to cut federal spending, but that it won’t be effective to cut “earmarks,” the practice of slipping funding requests for home-state projects into legislation. Translation, none of us want to cut spending that actually benefits our OWN state.

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Stanford’s football team  is now ranked #6 in the BCS standings.  But due to a deal made by the folks in Pasadena, (whereby the Rose Bowl, this year only, has to take a top ranked nonconference team if they don’t make it to the national championship, ) the Cardinal could lose out to TCU or Boise State for the Rose Bowl.

And while there are three other BCS bowls, the Sugar, Fiesta and Orange Bowls, since they can choose one team each, they would likely bypass Stanford and  choose lower ranked marquee name teams .

So all this means  Stanford could win out, be ranked #3 in the country, and end up at the Alamo Bowl. Just in case you didn’t hate the BCS already.

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Age and treachery….

Posted November 7, 2010 by left coast sports babe
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It’s been a great week for Joe Paterno. Not only did he become the first Division 1 NCAA college football coach to win 400 games, he got to see that “nice young man” become governor of California again.

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During a press conference after his 400th coaching victory, Penn State’s Joe Paterno, 83, said “People ask me why I stuck around so long.” and gestured to the fans. Well, the fans plus the fact Paterno doesn’t remember his way home anyway.

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This morning America turned the clock back one hour. Big deal, in California’s gubernatorial election, we turned the clock back thirty years

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So after the most recent elections, California’s senators will be Barbara Boxer, who turns 70 on November 11, and Dianne Feinstein, age 77.  And governor-elect Jerry Brown is age 72. 

Or as John McCain says, “Nice young people, but in these tough times, do they have enough maturity and experience?

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Michigan 67 – Illinois 65.  Somewhere Bo Schembechler is rolling over in his grave. (for anyone who doesn’t remember Bo, he was a major practitioner of the “three-yards and a cloud of dust” offense. 20 points would have been a offensive explosion.)

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During that Michigan-Illinois game, it was 59-59 before the third overtime.  And the the ESPN announcer said that fatigue was becoming a factor, especially for the defenses. How could the defenses be tired? They hadn’t done anything.

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Silly World Series commemorative of the night.  Bradford Exchange is selling a $199.00 carousel music box featuring A T and Park, the World Series trophy, and the Giants logo.  The box plays “Take me out of the ballgame.” 

You’d think they would at least have the option of “Don’t Stop Believing.”

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It’s five days after the last game of the World Series, so we have reached the period of time in which free agents are able to negotiate with any club. Or as the Yankees call it – “shopping season.” 

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Go figure this one. After Arizona had an impressive no-huddle one minute drive to get back in the game against Stanford late in the third, the Wildcats got the ball back with about 12 minutes in the fourth quarter.

Arizona then not only then ran a slow drive with a lot of running plays to get to within 18 points,  the Wildcats didn’t go for an onside kick with nine minutes left in the game.

Maybe they thought the game had five quarters?

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From Bill Littlejohn,  after a collision during a Wisconsin high school cross-country meet between a deer and a sophomore named Sarah Glidden: “The deer was listed as a Jane Doe.’’ . .  

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For anyone who still cares about one-time ‘Bachelor’ fiancee Vienna Girardi, she hosted the Chippendales’ Ultimate Girls Night Out in Las Vegas Friday night.

And this is the woman who broke up with Jake because he was a “publicity whore?

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Top 10 things Meg Whitman could spend her next $150 million on…

Posted November 6, 2010 by left coast sports babe
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10. A baseball team.  She may not win, but she’s likely to come closer than the $165 million payroll Chicago Cubs.

9. A new ballot proposition in California – change elections to include a “Buy it Now” button.

8. Just give $5 to every man, woman and child in California on a debit card.  If they all spend locally it could actually help the economy.

7. Hire really good hitman for whichever political consultant told her “don’t worry about your ex-housekeeper,” it’s old news and no one will care.

6. Buy governor’s job in 4 or 5 smaller states and take turns running them.

5. Buy congressmen and women in smaller states and run them that way.

4. 160 million lottery tickets – at least that way she’d be likely to win SOMETHING.

3. Have an autobiography ghost-written, buy up enough copies to be number one on New York Times best seller list.

2.  Go on Craigslist. Make many many attempts at trying to buy a clue.

1. Buy some small island and set herself up as Queen Meg for life.

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Orange haze…

Posted November 6, 2010 by left coast sports babe
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Orange Haze:  That’s what happened to most SF Giants’ fans October.   (How did it get to be November already?)

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When a Dallas radio station asked Jerry Jones if Wade Phillips will finish the season as Cowboys coach, the team owner responded – “Yes.” Of course, the way things are going, the Cowboys’ season will be officially over in about two weeks. 

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Two players on the New England Patriots were fined by the NFL for their hits last week on Brett Favre. In addition, they may be charged with elder abuse.

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Now that they’ve won the World Series, the SF Giants will eventually end up making a trip to Washington D.C. to meet President Obama.  And Aubrey Huff will almost certainly end up bringing his red sequined rally thong. Which will be thus become the most famous thong in the White House since… oh, do I even need to finish this one?

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With a 96-93 victory, the New Orleans Hornets took their turn tonight at being part of what will become one of the most popular headlines in America this fall and winter outside of Miami – “”Fill-in-the-blank-team’ CAN beat the Heat.”

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Zenyetta, the super mare who is 19-0 and will finish her racing career in the Breeder’s Cup Classic on Saturday, is apparently a Guinness fan, which she will drink from a bowl. 

In fact, the brewery has invited the mare and her trainer to Dublin for her favorite beer fresh from the tap if she wins the race.

If she does win, however, does this mean Guinness could be classificed as a performance enhancing drug?

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R.I.P Jill Clayburgh  My favorite lines from “Silver Streak,”, in which she plays a woman being hit on in the bar car by a drunk jerk:

“Are you hot?
  What?
  I said, are you hot?                 
  Lady, I am always hot.             
  Maybe I can cool you down.”

And she pours an iced drink down his pants.

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All these writers and media types talking about the Giants dumping their World Series MVP Edgar Renteria…. Makes a good story but it’s WRONG. All the Giants did was decline to pay him  the club option $10.5 million for next year.

Renteria, who at most would play part-time, can still sign with SF at a reduced price, and may well do so if he doesn’t retire.

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A colloborative effort mostly written by Bill Littlejohn:    Recently “to honor America,” Major League Baseball has been playing “God Bless America” during the seventh inning stretch of playoff games.

So wonder if next year the SF Giants will honor their ace pitcher Tim Lincecum by playing “Toke me out to the ball game.”

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The latest to “fear the beard” – NBC censors.

Posted November 5, 2010 by left coast sports babe
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 “The Machine” joined Brian Wilson on the Thursday’s ” The Tonight Show with Jay Leno.”  Even Conan said, “Okay, now that’s twisted.”

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Apparently there was talk of censoring “the Machine,”  until the powers-that-be realized no one was really watching the Tonight Show any more anyway.

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Good thing Wilson chose baseball over football. Tonight’s appearance would have guaranteed a fine from the No Fun League.

(assuming anyone reading this is familar with “the Machine.”  For his origins, google “Brian Wilson” and “Chris Rose” interview.  Maybe without children under 10 looking over your shoulder.)

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They’re still cleaning up from the parade and celebration in S.F.  But says T.C.  – “At least the field at A T and T Park isn’t frozen over, like it would be at Wrigley if the Cubs ever won.”

Actually, my friend Alex Kaseberg had a great joke on the same topic:

“Isn’t the San Francisco Giant’s AT&T Park beautiful? I’d say it is as beautiful as Chicago’s Wrigley Field in late October, but nobody has ever seen Wrigley Field in late October.”

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Longtime New York Mets clubhouse manager Charlie Samuels has been suspended due to allegations of illegal gambling.   So far, however, the allegations,  are only for betting on horse racing and football, not baseball.  Makes sense, who in their right mind would bet on the Mets?

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Considering how many Americans seem to think the new Congress will just waive a magic wand and fix everything, it’s surprising more of them didn’t vote for someone who had at least dabbled in witchcraft.

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For the last three elections, especially in Congress, many Americans have voted for “change.” Translation “make MY life better.” Wonder how long it takes them to discover that this latest group of electeds won’t instantly make that happen. Stand by for another vote for change in 2012.

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After Tuesday’s elections, President Obama offered the Republicans a post-election olive branch. John Boehner offered one back, tipped with curare.

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Bristol Palin apparently was too busy to vote in this election. Does this mean that when she’s done with all these reality shows Sarah’s daughter plans to run for Governor of California?

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Actually, Sarah Palin didn’t take the news too badly.  Of course the bar has been lowered a bit when Bristol says “Mom, there’s something I need to tell you.”

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George W. Bush will apparently appear on “Oprah” to promote his memoirs. The former President has now joined an exclusive club – those who have written a book before they read one.

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One definite bit of good news about SF Mayor Gavin Newsom’s election as Lieutenant Governor. No one will be able to accuse him this time of focusing on a campaign for his NEXT elected office and neglecting his duties. (The California Lieutenant Governor doesn’t really have any.)

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The NCAA has dropped one of the serious charges against Michigan football coach Rich Rodriguez, and only added one year of probations to the team’s self-imposed punishment. Apparently looking at the Wolverines’ record lately, the NCAA couldn’t see that the school had gained any advantage from the infractions.

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Now what…

Posted November 4, 2010 by left coast sports babe
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 Now that the playoffs, World Series and parade are over, Giants fans are being asked “What are you going to do next?” Well, laundry for starters.

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And San Franciscans who miss their near daily dose of torture will now have to wait until the next 49ers game.

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Although they lost the World Series, credit should be given to the Texas Rangers. They played meaningful games longer into the fall than the Cowboys.

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 Giants closer Brian Wilson is scheduled to be on the “Tonight Show with Jay Leno” on Thursday night. Depending how this works out Wilson could be the most famous beard in America, well, other than Katie Holmes.

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There was a huge turnout for the SF Giants’ victory parade on  Wednesday, which wasn’t surprising, since the team hadn’t won the World Series since 1954.

Which curiously enough was about the same year Jerry Brown was sworn in for his first term as Governor.

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Meanwhile, some pundits seem surprised that Meg Whitman and Carly Fiorina haven’t announced what their future political plans might be.  But let’s be fair, a day after the election?  Meg and Carly probably haven’t even figured out if they are going to vote next time.

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There is a terrible Chase commercial running these days about a wedding couple in bad, talking about waiting all day for this. “This” being taking pictures of their gift checks with their camera phone, and depositing them in their Chase account.

It’s almost enough to make you miss political commercials.

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Well, now we know that Christine O’Donnell is really not a witch. Because even a mediocre witch should be able to cast a spell to change 50,000 or so votes.

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Carly Fiorina FINALLY conceded the California Senate race this morning, about 12 hours after all major networks called the race. She complained that she “couldn’t overcome the Democrats’ registration advantage.” Wonder how much of that “advantage” is due to the fact that people like Fiorina don’t register to vote until they run for office?

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From Marc Ragovin : “Meg Whitman’s new theme song “Can’t buy me gov.”

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So will the documentary about the 2010 campaign season, outside the West, be known as “The Hunt for Red November.”

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In his memoirs, George W. Bush said that, upset with media reports that he was justa puppet, he considered running without Cheney in 2004. But W. he asked permission, Dick just told him no.

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W. also said that the lowest point in his presidency was being criticized by Kanye West (who called him a racist.)   So, okay,  the former most powerful man in the world doesn’t quite have the maturity of Taylor Swift.

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They’re over….

Posted November 3, 2010 by left coast sports babe
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The 2010 baseball season and the 2010 election.

Despite spending  $161 million, including $141 million of her own money, Meg Whitman finally conceded late Tuesday night. She told her supporters that they had been part of something important.

Meg may not be ready to be Governor, but she now might be more than qualified to be GM of the Chicago Cubs. (who spent $161 million, and didn’t even come in second.)

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Congrats to California Governor-elect Jerry Brown, on returning to the office after 28 years. There was just one embarassing moment, when Brown called New York Governor-elect Cuomo and said “Can’t wait to work with you again, Mario.”

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CNN says that Harry Reid’s victory is a testament to his ground game in Nevada. Really? I thought it was a testament to the fact his opponent was a fruitcake.

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And while Democrats and moderates were disappointed with the national results, at least there is one solace – now it’s John Boehner’s turn to herd cats.

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Political newcomer Rick Scott spent $73 million of his own money and won the Governor’s race in Florida. Looks like Meg Whitman, for all her Ebay experience, bid on the wrong state.

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Christine O’Donnell gave a defiant concession speech tonight in Delaware.  And then accompanied by her flying monkeys she flew home.

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Back to baseball, commission Bud Selig wants two more teams in the playoffs because he thinks it would be “more fair.”

Translation, ANYTHING to have the Red Sox, Yankees, Dodgers or Cubs have a better chance to get in and boost television ratings.

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The Prop 19 watch party is apparently a calm mellow get-together Tuesday night. Supporters, however, are getting ready for an energetic turnout at the polls on Wednesday.

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Meanwhile on November 2, Jamarcus Russell was working out for the Redskins. Isn’t election day in theory when we kick the bums out of Washington?.

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The Orlando Magic-New York Knicks game was postponed tonight because asbestos fell from the rafters at Madison Square Garden. Normally the only toxic thing at the Garden is the play of the Knicks.

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Great stat from my friend Michael Duca.   Pat Burrell has more World Series rings (2) than World Series hits. (1, none this series.).

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This just in from A T and T. Pigs were seen flying around the ballpark.

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Meanwhile in Dallas, they still have the Cowboys.

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We are the champions, of the world….

Posted November 2, 2010 by left coast sports babe
Categories: political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: , , ,

Well, the U.S. and Canada anyway.

SF Giants’ first World Championship in 1954.

Curiously enough, that was Jamie Moyer’s rookie year.

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This isn’t like some twisted episode of Dallas, is it? Where we wake up tomorrow and find out it was all a dream.

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Two reasons for folks in Northern California to celebrate. 1 – The Giants just won the World Series. 2. After tomorrow we are DONE with Meg Whitman commercials.

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Jerry Brown, Edgar Renteria. It’s shaping up to be a good November for re-treads.

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Actually the Giants haven’t won a World Series since 1954.  Coicidentally the same year that Jerry Brown was first eligible for Social Security.

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Brian Wilson quoted as saying that tonight the Giants will celebrate and “get a little weird.” Now, I am a major Brian fan, but in his case, mission already accomplished.-

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Edgar Renteria, a charming man even with limited English. Asked about his World Series home run, he said (Lee) “tried to throw me a cutter and the ball no cut.”

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Interesting, in their interviews, more of the SF Giants thanked the fans than thanked God.

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Fox announcers keep talking about the Giants having not won a World Series since 1954. Or as Cubs fans call it “Only yesterday.”

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Fox executives were unhappy with the low ratings for the World Series. Well, maybe if they ever put anyone but the Yankees and Red Sox on the “Fox Game of the Week” during the regular season, sports fans might be more familiar with, and more interested in watching, the teams that were actually playing.

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Giants Fever is sweeping San Francisco. Some folks who have jumped on the bandwagon were so excited they actually watched some of Monday’s game. –

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Nolan Ryan’s ceremonial first pitch before Game 3 of the World Series was clocked at 68 mph.  Which is still almost twice as fast as Tim Wakefield.

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Ironic to see W. in the stands Sunday night. Because the Rangers’ “shock and awe” hitting lineup ran smack into “Operation Bumgarner.

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Another irony, George W. Bush’s dream job was to become Commissioner of baseball. And while I am hardly a W. fan, he does love the game, and knows it pretty well, despite having traded Sammy Sosa for Harold Baines.

But can you imagine how different the world would have been had he gotten that job?  Not only would America not have had a Cheney presidency, we wouldn’t have had to deal with Commissioner Bud Selig either.

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After being unloaded by the New England Patriots, Randy Moss was now cut by the Minnesota Vikings after he ripped the team in news conference. At this point another NFL GM would have to be stoned to gather Moss.

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The SF 49ers are a disappointing 2-6. But they have won one more game than the Dallas Cowboys.

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Halloween destiny?

Posted November 1, 2010 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized
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When you think about it, orange and black should rule on Halloween. Go Giants. 

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Actually “Day of the Dead” is Monday in Mexico. But it sure described the Rangers’ hitters on Sunday night.

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George H.W. Bush and George Bush came in on a cart to throw out the game four first pitch. From left field. Might be only time in their life they were on the left of anything.

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The only bad part of a glorious night for Madison Bumgarner and Buster Posey? The game got over so late they missed trick or treating.

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Buster Posey says he’s been a “baseball fan since I was little.”

What was that, last week?

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Okay, how bizarre is this? “The Simpsons” and Madison Bumgarner are the same age. Both born in 1989.

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Nothing against “God Bless America.” But requiring it at EVERY 7th inning in the post-season is making me root for the Toronto Blue Jays in 2011.

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Robocalls are stupid at the best of times. Robocalls during the World Series are a good way to get voters to vote against your candidate or cause.

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Remember that story about the construction worker burying a Red Sox jersey in the concrete at Yankee Stadium?  (The shirt was found and removed after the story leaked out.)

You have to wonder, who successfully buried what in the concrete at the new Cowboys stadium?

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Today’s sloppy game between the 49ers and Broncos in London did do one thing for British sports fans.  Helped convince them that they are right to have soccer as their national sport.

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A quote I remembered watching clips of the Jon Stewart rally, from Lucy Van Pelt of Peanuts.  Who knew Charles Schultz might so accurately predict today’s political climate:

“If you can’t be right, be wrong at the top of your voice.”

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The 0-7 Bills have lost their last two games in overtime.  Shame they aren’t in the NHL – forcing overtime but losing the game still gets you a point!

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Halloween eve.

Posted October 31, 2010 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized

The Giants lost to the Rangers 4-2 in game three of the World Series.  Given the lousy ratings, Fox may be have been disappointed.  Once the series is over the network can show “Glee” and “House” reruns.

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You can’t make this stuff up – At a Nevada rally for Sharron Angle, John McCain, referring to the hotel room Reid keeps in D.C, said that on Election Day “we are going to kick Harry Reid out of his penthouse at the Ritz Carlton.” This from the man who couldn’t remember how many houses he has.

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Caifornians who voted the first time for Jerry Brown for Governor are wondering “Would Linda Ronstadt come back and sing at his inaugural?” Those voting for Brown for the first time are wondering “Who’s Linda Ronstadt?”

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Hundreds of thousands of people in D.C. for Jon Stewart’s rally. This weekend might be a record for the number of times “Washington” and “sanity” are used in the same sentence.

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And okay, not that it really matters who your fans are in baseball.  But tonight’s crowd at the Ballpark at Arlington might have made a Tea Party rally look diverse.

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How improbable is it though?  The Giants are still up 2-1, and their cleanup hitter, Pat Burrell, doesn’t have a hit in the World Series, and has struck out eight of nine at bats.  Including four times tonight.

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And the worst part of tonight’s performance, Burrell didn’t want to DH because it would have affected his hitting.

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But okay Giants fans, thinking of REAL torture, here’s a memory for you – Shinjo at DH.

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(Burrell does, however,  have two walks.  Another beautiful aspect of baseball.  When you really feel like you suck at hitting, there is always the option of daring the pitcher to have a worse day than you are having.)

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Another day, another “One day only sale” flier from Safeway. When  did the grocery store turn into Macy’s? 

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What’s the difference between theTexas Rangers and the U.S.?  Well, at least with the Rangers most everyone agrees that they are much better off without George W. Bush in charge.

Comments: 3 Comments

Decisions, decisions.

Posted October 30, 2010 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized
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Minnesota coach Brad Childress said he will not decide until Sunday who will be the Vikings starting quarterback. Which means millions of sports fans around the world can now enjoy the delightful idea of Brett Favre thinking “Ah come on, can’t you just make up your mind?”

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It’s only a few days until the election. Christine O’Donnell, however, is not planning to campaign on October 31. Since it’s a religious holiday.

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Houston Texans owner Bob McNair had the team’s locker room searched to make sure no players were using banned PEDs. (performance enhancing drugs.) 

Well, at least we know Rangers owner Nolan Ryan won’t be needing to do that for any members of his bullpen.

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In fact,  Nolan Ryan will throw out the first pitch for game 3 of the World Series in Texas. And then Rangers coach Ron Washington has asked him to go immediately to the bullpen to be ready to warm up.

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MLB commissioner Bud Selig denied any disappointment with the Giants-Rangers World Series matchup, despite early low ratings.  He added “I know FOX was happy and we were happy.” Right, and the performance-enhancing drug era in baseball is over.

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So let’s see, the favorites to play in the World Series were New York and Philadelphia, two major East Coast media markets.   With A-Rod, Derek Jeter, Ryan Howard, and Roy Halladay.

And the end result was two teams with few players casual fans outside of SF and Texas recognize,  except maybe “the pitcher kid with the hippie hair,” and Josh Hamilton.

So sure, FOX was thrilled.  That’s about as likely as after the Series the network’s doing a show on the “major first term accomplishments of Barack Obama.”

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A t-shirt in Texas takes aim at Aubrey Huff’s “rally thong” by proclaiming “In Texas, only the players’ wifes wear thongs.”  Well, considering the way the Rangers hit in games one and two, maybe they should consider a “Victoria’s Secret” run.

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There’s no love lost between Sarah Palin and Senator Lisa Murkowski. Said Palin, who said it was “shameful” for Murkowski to run as a write-in candidate. “Let’s call her the candidate for the entitlement party.” Guess Sarah is particularly upset since she’s the chair of that entitlement party.

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In only a few days Americans will finally get a break from political commercials. This break should last until the 2012 commercials start, which should be at least at least a few weeks.

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Roger Goddell said the NFL is seriously considering expanding to Europe.  In San Francisco fans are suggesting, why don’t they just keep the 49ers there for a few years?

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Comments: 1 Comment

You might be a die-hard SF Giants fan if….

Posted October 29, 2010 by left coast sports babe
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Your team wins two games in a row by a combined total of 13 runs, and you can’t stop worrying about when the serious torture is going to start.

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Viewers who tuned into Fox Thursday night about 1030 Eastern time were surprised to see what they thought was a scarier version of Glee’s “Rocky Horror” show.  In reality it was just the  Rangers’ bullpen.

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After the eighth inning,  the P.A. system at A T and T played one of the Giants’ anthems – “Living on a Prayer.”  Maybe the most apt line tonight “Halfway there.”

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Giants GM Brian Sabean has complained over the years about the “lunatic fringe.” Yeah, but that term describes a good portion of the 25 guys who just won the first game of the World Series.

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A few quotes of the night.

Texas coach Ron Washington about relief pitcher Derek Holland “I wasn’t expecting him to throw 12 balls in 13 pitches, It happened.”

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from an anonymous source, “Holland now has the title of ‘Walker, Texas Ranger.”

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And maybe the only even semi- funny thing I’ve ever heard Tim McCarver say, caught on a televised replay after the 8th inning.   “The Giants have been winning with pitching.  And they are again. Not theirs.”

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A couple more games like this and the Texas Rangers bullpen will be charged with impersonating major league pitchers.

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This just in from Bill Williams:  Two wins in a row for the Giants.  If this keeps up George W. Bush will be flying in with a “Mission Accomplished” banner.

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Brett Favre may have an ankle injury but he said today he still thinks he can play. Hasn’t that been his problem for years?

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Karl Rove said the Sarah Palin may not have the “gravitas” to be President. Responded Palin? How absurd, everybody has gravitas.  And didn’t that Newton guy discover it?

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And non-partisan thought to close:

I admit I’m not a fan of the “Commit to Vote” messages. Yet it’s hard to imagine being so jaded you can’t find SOMETHING or SOMEONE (for or against) to care about on the ballot next Tuesday. Considering all the problems in this country, maybe the line should be “You should be committed if you don’t bother to vote.”

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Kryptonite in the rosin bag?

Posted October 28, 2010 by left coast sports babe
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It’s as good an explanation as any for what happened to Cliff Lee of the Rangers Wednesday night.

Not that Tim Lincecum had that great an evening.   Whoever said “Nothing beats a pair of aces” forgot to tell Giants and Rangers hitters before World Series game one.

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Cliff Lee came into the 2010 World Series with a 7 and 0 postseason record and a postseason ERA somewhere around 1.  And he gave up seven runs, six earned, in four and two-thirds innings.

This was the most disappointing performance out of Texas since …when did the Cowboys play again?

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(Speaking of which, if you go to the Dallasnews.com site, run by Dallas’s top paper, the Dallas Morning News, there are several categories to click on  – one is sports, another is Cowboys.)

Or in another vein  – Lee’s performance was the most disappointing by a Texan on the national stage since George W. Bush was president.

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Just how odd was tonight?  The Giants scored 11 runs tonight. Exactly their total in the four game ALCS in Atlanta.

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And not to say that the aging Vladimir Guerrero looked like he didn’t belong in right field, (two errors),  but the idea looked about as logical as using Bengie Molina as a pinch-runner.

And reactions to watching Lincecum might depend on what side you are on for Prop 19 – legalizing marijuana:

Those against it, figured maybe his spacey performance in the first couple innings were a reason to vote no.

Those for it – “hey, thanks to whoever gave Timmy a brownie after the second.”

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Meg Whitman says she is standing by her decision not to pull negative ads. Why stop now? As the polls show, those expensive ads have been working so well for her….

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President Obama said on the Daily Show that his adminstration has done “an awful lot.”  Well, however you feel about that statement, they did sure come into a lot of awful.

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Bill Littlejohn, after a Maine Coon Cat named Stewie was measured at 4 feet long and recognized by Guinness as the world’s longest cat: “The previous record was how long it took Terry Bradshaw to spell cat.”

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(And for those who’ve always wondered, or never wondered, about the history Guinness World Book of Records,  it DID start out as a way to settle arguments in pubs, in fact, as a giveaway by Guinness Brewery.)

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Cornerback Perrish Cox of the Denver Broncos suffered a blow to the head during the third quarter of the Broncos 59-41 loss to the Raiders, and it completely wiped out his memory of the entire game. Denver fans wish they could say the same thing.

Comments: 2 Comments

Paul is dead.

Posted October 27, 2010 by left coast sports babe
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Paul the (World Cup predicting) octopus has died at the age of 2 1/2. Apparently his last words were “The Giants and the Rangers in the World Series? NFW.”

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And no, Phillies fans aren’t still bitter about their team’s loss, and lack of hitting, in the NLCS.  Today an article in Philly.com talked about Cliff Lee, and Philadelphia’s decision not to resign him last year.  Said one happy fan “They should have kept him, he could have batted cleanup.”

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A Cleveland radio station hired a witch doctor to perform a pre-season hex ceremony on Lebron James. If the Heat get off to a bad start I can see new career opportunities if this Senate thing doesn’t work out for Christine O’Donnell. 

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Not saying that Fox is disappointed with the Rangers vs. Giants World Series and the potential low ratings. But rumor has it the network has offered their affiliates the opportunity to pre-empt the games for “Glee” reruns.

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It’s enough to ALMOST make you feel sorry for the Golden State Warriors, who never get any respect in the San Francisco Bay Area. And this year their home opener? Wednesday, October 27. Nothing else going on in local sports that night….

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At least some good news for the Golden State Warriors as they open the new season.   Thanks to the “Fourth and Niners” they are almost guaranteed not to be the sorriest story in Northern California sports.

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from Marc Ragovin: 

So the NY Knicks have signed a marketing deal with 1800 Silver Tequila. Hey,  the way they play these are gonna be the best shots in Madison Square Garden all season.

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On Wednesday pitcher Cliff Lee will make his second World Series game one start in a row. Last year he started for the Phillies, this year he starts for the Rangers, and next year, many expect him to start for the Yankees.

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SEC family values strike again:  On September 14, University of Florida wide receiver Chris Rainey was arrested and charged with aggravated stalking for allegedly sending threatening texts to his girlfriend. Including one that said “Time to die.” This weekend, coach Urban Meyer says Rainey will be reinstated to the team. Hey, it’s a rivalry game with Georgia.

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Lebron James and his pals on the Heat lost their season opener to the Celtics 88-80. That’s really a shame, said absolutely no one outside Miami.

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I suppose Lebron James may have done some good for the league on television this year.  As inspired by TC  – wonder how many fans will tune into Miami games just because they can’t stand the Heat.

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In fact, it may only be the beginning of the season but the Miami Heat have done something few sports teams have been able to accomplish – become more hated than the Yankees.

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Joe Theismann said that Vikings’ coach Brad Childress should “man up” this weekend, and say, ‘Brett, sit down.’ ”  While he’s at it, Childress should also probably say “Brett, put the phone down too.”

Comments: 2 Comments

“Mama, don’t let your babies grow up to be Cowboys.”

Posted October 26, 2010 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized
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At least not in Dallas these days.

It’s late October, and the SF Giants and Texas Rangers prepare to meet up in the World Series.  After NFL week seven, the  SF 49ers and Dallas Cowboys have something in common too – one win each.

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What makes Cowboys fans madder? The fact that Romo hasn’t been that effective and is now out for the season. Or the fact that there is really no way they can blame this one on Jessica Simpson.

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Bad officiating may have cost both the Miami Dolphins and Minnesota Vikings wins last weekend.  Who do these refs think they are – MLB umpires?

(Actually on a serious note, for fans of instant replay, both mistakes, one on a disputed fumble that the Dolphins appeared to have recovered, and the other on a touchdown the Vikings receiver appeared to have caught, WERE reviewed and were still probably called wrongly. )

Since Benjie Molina played two months with the San Francisco Giants before he was traded to the Texas Rangers, he gets a ring no matter who wins.

Speaking of which, have heard Brett Favre just made another call, to Kobe Bryant for the name of his jeweler.

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Question of the day. If most sports fans agree that “good pitching beats good hitting,” why is everyone so shocked that the Phillies batted .216 in the NLCS?

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A-Rod was apparently been partying with Lebron James down in Miami. Well, makes sense they should be palling around – the Yankees are out and the Heat are playing preseason games. Hard to tell which of them has been more irrelevant this month.

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An article in the Wall Street Journal says that Giants ace Tim Lincecum looks like he is 14 years old. Not true. Lincecum looks like he is 16 at least. Now, catcher Buster Posey, he looks like he is 12.

Only 5 out of 27 picked the Rangers to beat the Rays. However, one of them picked the Rangers not only to win the ALCS but, and believe it or not, picked them to win the WS as well. That person was Amy Nelson. She is either

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About one week before the election. And is anyone else about at the point of saying “I don’t care what party you are from or what cause you are for, if you ‘robocall’ me I am going to vote against you?

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Meg Whitman is warning of dire economic consequences should Californians elect Jerry Brown.  Well, there will be one consequence for sure – the state’s media businesses losing over $100 million a year from Meg’s self-funded campaign.

Meg Whitman begins her new ad: “I know many of you see this election as an unhappy choice between a longtime politician with no plan for the future and a billionaire with no government experience,”

And in Nevada with Sharron Angle running against Harry Reid, a lot of folks say to California “we’ll trade you.”

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commie pinko time below.

Carly Fiorina is running a television ad saying “I’m prepared to oppose my party when it’s wrong ad.”

On October 11, 2002, the Senate voted 77-23 to authorize President Bush to attack Iraq. One of those 23 was Barbara Boxer.

Comments: 8 Comments

Morning after…

Posted October 25, 2010 by left coast sports babe
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You know you’ve been a Giants fan all year when… you woke up this morning and wanted to check the paper or online to make sure it really did happen, and Howard didn’t hit a walkoff homerun or something…

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Still don’t believe this is magic? Juan Uribe of the SF Giants…. 25 home runs total this year. And how many to the opposite field? One.  Saturday night in Philly.

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We have all heard now how Christine O’Donnell says she is not a witch.  Has anyone heard Bruce Bochy say he is not a warlock?

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Anyone in California feeling sorry for those Phillies fans should read some Philadelphia papers online. Those papers were indeed full of angst tonight, but it was more about the Eagles losing to the Titans.

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Headline in L.A Times today: “Giants ride hit charade to the World Series.” But let’s be fair, it must be hard for Los Angeles. Other than USC, the city hasn’t had a professional football team for years. This year they really didn’t have a professional baseball team either.

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Meanwhile, the now 1-6,San Francisco 49ers announced in a press release that contrary to expectations and popular belief, the team has discovered that are PLENTY of things that could be finer than to be in Carolina in the morning. 

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49ers coach Mike Singletary thinks his 1-6 team can still make the playoffs.  Playoffs?  At this point San Francisco would be a longshot to be bowl-eligible.

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So the NFL is now sending the 1-6 49ers (who just lost to the previously winless Panthers) and the 2-5 Broncos (who just were destroyed by the Raiders) to play in London next week. Is this a game or an extradition?

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The 49ers lost two fumbles and an interception Sunday, the Broncos lost FIVE fumbles and an interception.  Maybe because the British are used to football being soccer, the NFL decided to send them two teams who don’t regularly use their hands.

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Meg Whitman is decrying the practice of allowing students who are not legal immigrants to attend California universities, saying they are taking places from California citizens. 

As opposed to kids whose places might be taken at places like Princeton because other students’ parents donate money to build new dorms?

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Meg Whitman’s new California ad states “I know many of you see this election as an unhappy choice between a longtime politician with no plan for the future and a billionaire with no government experience.”

Over in Nevada, however, where voters have the Senate choice between Harry Reid and Sharron Angle, the number one response to that ad “We’ll trade you.”

(In all seriousness, for those not following the Nevada race, well more than half of each candidates “supporters” say they wish they had someone else to vote for.)

Comments: 4 Comments

And somewhere men are laughing…

Posted October 24, 2010 by left coast sports babe
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And somewhere children shout. But there is no joy in Philly.  Mighty Howard has struck out.

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Ryan Howard clearly didn’t read the late great umpire Durwood Merrill’s memoir “You’re out and you’re ugly too.”

In that book, Merrill said he had one response for batters who complained about a 3-2 called strike. “If it wasn’t a strike it was close enough. You think all these people paid their way in here to see you walk?”

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And perhaps apropos of nothing, but the Phillies payroll of almost $150 million?  It will end up about the same amount of money Meg Whitman will spend on her California gubernatorial campaign.

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San Diego Padres pitcher Mat Lantos ridiculed the Giants late in the season by saying San Francisco had just gone out and “grabbed players from other teams.”

Well, sort of, except that the Padres themselves added Miguel Tejada and Ryan Ludwick. And more importantly the Phillies added Roy Oswalt,  the Rangers added Cliff Lee, the Yankees (who wanted Lee) added Lance Berkman and Kerry Wood.

With all due respect, most playoff bound teams go shopping at Saks.   The Giants went to the Rack and the Dollar Store.

(And as far as names, Ramirez, Lopez and Ross?  Not exactly marquee talent. Not to mention Burrell who was picked up midseason, quite literally for almost nothing.)

Regarding Pat Burrell, who was flat out released by the Tampa Rays, at least they have a player on their payroll in the World Series.

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A tale of two LCS’s. The Rangers outscored the Yankees by 19 runs in their six games. The Giants won their LCS in six games by scoring 19 runs exactly.  (The Phillies actually scored 20.  But who’s counting?)

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NBA commissioner David Stern said that contracting (translation – eliminating) – some of the weaker teams could be a solution to the league’s financial problems. Which means the Timberwolves are likely on the list. When asked about how they felt about losing their NBA basketball team, fans in Minnesota responded “We have an NBA team?”

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Sacramento Kings fans are nervous that their team too could be contracted, leaving the area without a professional NBA basketball team.   Clippers fans responded, “Welcome to our world.”

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If the Toronto Blue Jays ever make it back to the postseason would we still have to hear “God bless America”every seventh inning?

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Brett Favre apparently didn’t give up on Jenn Sterger after he left the Jets.  According to the NY Post, Favre made a “recruiting call,” (how’s that for a PC term) to that former sideline reporter in 2009.

Who knew, despite all those interceptions, Brett’s most ill-conceived passes may have been off the field. 

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Levi Johnston, the father of Sarah Palin’s grandson, told Bill Maher than he’s definitely running for mayor of Wasilla.   Johnston  also said he “is working on building a platform, although he didn’t offer specifics.”

Well, sounds like he’s already up to speed for sounding like an average politician.

Comments: 5 Comments

America’s team?

Posted October 22, 2010 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized
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 Are the Texas Rangers really now America’s team? Could be.  Most of them are underpaid by MLB standards,  the team declared bankruptcy earlier in the year, and they are much better off without George W. Bush in charge.

(for all non-hardcore baseball fans, before W. ran for governor and then President, he was the managing partner of the Rangers. And amongst other things, traded Sammy Sosa for Harold Baines.)

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Alex Rodriguez made the last out for New York in the ALCS. Particularly fitting since his salary is more than half that of the whole Rangers team. ($33 million to 55 million.)

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The headline in Saturday’s New York Post says “$210 million bust.”  So thanks to the Yankees, Meg Whitman’s campaign may avoid this year’s dubious honor of being “Most money spent in a losing cause.”

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The Yankees, ever resilient, are considering filing for a roster rule change for 2011. Preferably to make the trade deadline the seventh inning stretch during postseason games.

And while the players themselves watch the World Series between naps and golf games, for management, still flush with free agent cash, the games will be shopping time.

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In fact, the Yankees especially wish Josh Hamilton and Cliff Lee well.  And promise them a bigger ring when they win the 2011 World Series in pinstripes.

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Let’s hope none of those Chilean miners are casual baseball fans, if one of them hears that the New York Yankees are not going to the World Series because they were beaten by the Texas Rangers, they are likely to head to the doctor asking for medication to help with hallucinations.

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“That which does not kill us makes us stronger.” Who knew Nietzsche was an SF Giants fan?

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American Kamari Charlton, a former FSU Seminoles, may be punished by “caning” in Singapore after overstaying his 90 day visa by 169 days. Charlton must have been a math major at Florida State.

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According to CNN, Jeb Bush said Friday he isn’t running for president, but would support Sarah Palin if she were to run. I thought Jeb was supposed to be “the smart one.”

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When asked how she was coping with the allegations against her husband, Deanna Favre says: “I’m handling this through faith.” Upon hearing this Elin Nordegren sent Deanna a gift of golf clubs.

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And this is a groaner, I know, but –  Former President Clinton is going to tail gate for some of his fellow Democrats this weekend. And if there’s anyone who knows “tails,” it’s Bill Clinton.

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In a rare public speech at a trade conference, former President George W. Bush said his greatest failure as a president was not privatizing Social Security. His remarks occasioned immediate requests for more pre-election speeches, from Democrats.

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Apparently there is talk in the airline industry of commercial passenger jets someday being flown solo. But it’s unlikely to happen. Most pilots don’t like to drink alone.

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