Archive for August 2019

Rough niht?

August 31, 2019


And this is the school so many rich people paid big bucks to bribe their children’s way into…?

Meanwhile, Northwestern played Stanford in the Nerd Bowl.  Wonder if officials were ever tempted to say it was 3rd and 3.14159.

If Oregon hadn’t choked away tonight’s matchup with Auburn, SEC would have lost five games in one day…. Just saying.

Baseball in 2019. Minnesota Twins hit six home runs in one game….and LOSE 10-7. If the ball were any more juiced it would be sponsored by Minute Maid.

Lebron James is trying to trademark “Taco Tuesday.”    Because he’s the only one who thought of it?  Other than almost every Mexican food chain and taqueria in the country?  WTF?

Many of us have different choices in next year’s election. Can we all agree that any fundraising email marked “urgent” triggers the “delete” button?

What customs officials originally thought was a “huge drugs bust” at Gatwick Airport in London turned out to be vegan cake mix.

Now, some vegan cakes are criminally bad…but yeah, this did seem like overkill.

The first person shot by today’s mass killer was a police officer during a attempted traffic stop. But tell me again how arming kindergarten teachers will keep our children safe?


Guess the optics weren’t good for Trump to spend weekend at Bedminster with Dorian approaching so he sneaked off to golf from Camp David.
Sunday morning will Donald have a moment of silence for Odessa victims on the first tee?

Trump had a meltdown today about “Disgusting and foul mouthed Omarosa.” So why doesn’t he fire the idiot who hired her?
Trump RTs a lot of stuff on Dorian, including a Red Cross tweet praising military spouses who volunteer. This at the same time he denies citizenship to military children born overseas AND deports military spouses. He has no shame. There is no bottom.

Treading water.

August 30, 2019

As SF Giants, with a record right around .500  decide how big an offer to tender Madison Bumgarner, hope they look at team record when he starts since June 20 – 11 and 2.

Arizona Diamondbacks have now set a major league mediocrity record by being within 2 games of .500 for 60 games.
Some may snicker. But Orioles fans haven’t seen within 2 game of .500 since opening week.’

Seattle Seahawks waived former Broncos first round pick QB Paxton Lynch, in favor of keeping Gino Smith as Russell Wilson’s backup.

But hey, Lynch will still probably get an offer this season before Colin Kaepernick.


Trump did seem particularly unhinged today. Is he worried about Mar-A-Lago? Or did someone tell him that even though he canceled his Poland trip it would be bad optics this weekend to go golfing?



Trump, asked if he was worried about Mar-A-Lago with Hurricane Dorian “You know, I haven’t even thought about it until the question was just broached a little while ago. Yeah, it would look like Mar-a-Lago is dead center.”
“I haven’t even’t thought about it.”
Two words. Yeah. Right.

Politico reports that Trump personal aide Madeleine Westerhout was fired for gossiping about Trump and his family – “and that the president did not like being in pictures with Tiffany because he perceived her as overweight.”
Really-really-really round pot, meet less-round kettle.

Tiffany Trump is a student at Georgetown Law School. If only she had picked a profession where she could someday get back at her father…

On a brighter note, Trump’s comments about Tiffany have made millions of American dads feel better about their own parenting skills.

White House says Trump faked phone call with Chinese leaders “to project optimism that might boost markets,” and it barely makes the news cycle.

Meanwhile, for most of us, attempted market manipulation is a felony.

So the same week Trump attacks Comey for releasing information even Barr’s DOJ wouldn’t indict him over, he tweets out a classified picture from Iran even his Pentagon says he shouldn’t have… Are we great yet?

Actually keeping score?

August 29, 2019

Ok. I get that some people think I’m a little obsessed to be stressed about Democratic Presidential primaries this early. And yet there are folks who are seriously stressed about the scores of week 4 pre-season NFL football.

With back-to-back home runs today, Minnesota Twins broke the major league record season for most home runs on the road. which was 138. And there’s a full month left in the season.
But sure, Barry Bonds is the one whose home run total should have an asterisk…

At least for remainder of season can 2019 SF Giants officially retire the term “home field advantage?

Two weeks after Chris Davis had a dugout confrontation with manager Brandon Hyde, Orioles reliever Richard Bleier and 3rd-base coach Jose David Flores also ended up in a public shouting match in the dugout.
Baltimore fans just wish the team would show that much energy on the field.

Alex Trebek is back at work taping the new season of “Jeopardy!,” five months after being diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer.

“What is really good news?”


Travel rant.  Austrian Airlines and Lufthansa are offering a scheduled LEGAL connection between a Vienna to Frankfurt flight and a Frankfurt to San Francisco flight that is 45 minutes!?!
So will transfer assistance be provided by flying pig?

The latest wannabe mass shooter at High Point University told police he was trying to get into a fraternity and that “if his roommate got into a fraternity and he didn’t, he had a plan to kill his roommate and himself.”
But no, we don’t have an epidemic of white male privilege.


Interesting timing. Trump wants G7 at Mar-a-Lago and mean bitch Karma along with Mother Nature remind him. “Dude, it’s hurricane season.”


Well, since most bugs can’t swim Hurricane Dorian might take care of the Doral bed bug problem.

Trump today canceled his trip to Poland.   Guess it’s just as well Trump had already canceled Danish part of European trip. Does anyone think Mother Pence would have let Mike have dinner with the very attractive Danish Prime Minister?



Does anyone think Trump would have canceled his trip if he were scheduled to go to Buckingham Palace? Or to one of his rallies?  Or to one of his golf resorts?

Getting closer?

August 28, 2019

As we approach NFL preseason week 4, would anyone like to explain why there IS an NFL preseason week 4?


Justin Verlander, talking about his ejection yesterday while Astros were leading 9-0, after a close 2-2 pitch was called a ball. Got to love the understatement of the last sentence. “I thought it was a strike. He told me he thought it was a ball. Went back and forth a little bit. Turned my back and expressed one more time I didn’t think it was outside. Probably could have used better language when I said that.”



Two airlines in Australian airlines are prohibiting all 15-inch Apple Macbook Pros from being transported in the jets’ cargo holds. Okay, with all due respect, who is stupid enough to put a laptop in checked baggage?

Give Kirsten Gillibrand credit – she may never have broken 1% in the polls, but she has a much better grasp of reality than fellow New Yorker Bill De Blasio.

Alan Dershowitz has now declared himself a ‘victim of the MeToo movement.” Guessing someone hasn’t gotten any invites to Martha’s Vineyard.

Sasha Obama is going to be a freshman this year at Michigan.
How long until Donald Trump declares he’s always been a fan of “THE” Ohio State University?


More Trump “We are tracking closely tropical storm Dorian as it heads, as usual, to Puerto Rico. ”
And now it looks like Dorian will have maximum strength when it hits FLORIDA. Add to the list of women p*ssed at Trump – Mother Nature?


This one sadly, may not be that hard to figure out.
Trump now says children born overseas to US Military serving outside US won’t get automatic citizenship.
Senator John McCain was born while his parents were stationed in Panama.

Some people have a hard time figuring why Trump advocates so many deliberately cruel policies against immigrants, minorities and poor people.
What if cloaking cruelty towards people his supporters dislike under the guise of patriotism IS the point?

Slower than a speeding bullet

August 27, 2019

Submarine pitcher Tyler Rogers made his major league debut at Oracle Park Tuesday night, pitching a 1-2-3 inning with most pitches in the 70s (MPH)   So who needs a 95 MPH fastball.


Rob Gronkowski “Football was bringing me down.”
So does this make him an honorary Redskins fan?

Fox Sports reporting that an unnamed NFL team reached out to Carli Lloyd with an offer to play in a preseason game this week.
Not sure if Carli will play in a real game, but guessing she won’t double-doink the ball off the crossbars

Love it. Young 20-somethings on train who work for some big company near Palo Alto are complaining about their employer and whining that bosses act like their parents. Uh…

Your reminder that Senator Tom Cotton, who is pushing so hard to buy Greenland, voted AGAINST hurricane relief for Puerto Rico.


William Barr is planning a $30,000 private holiday party at the Trump hotel in DC.  Now, I know many Americans may not understand the details of the emoluments clause. But you would think the US attorney would.

New Orleans is the most liberal part of Louisiana. So you just KNOW if Katrina happened on Trump’s watch he’d have complained about sending them money too.

Trump now whining about Puerto Rico and $$$ “Wow! Yet another big storm heading to Puerto Rico. Will it ever end?”

Has anyone told him Greenland is an island too?

After Trump’s heartless “will it ever end” tweet about Dorian approaching Puerto Rico, a new model shows center of storm could end up near West Palm Beach.
Is it possible mean bitch karma and Mother Nature are looking together at a map showing Mar-A-Lago?

Trump tweet also refers to his failing Trump Doral National MIAMI resort as “perfectly located (for the next G-7).”
“Perfectly located?” For a summer meeting? Heck, Donald doesn’t even go to his beloved Mar-A-Lago in summer.

And finally look, been in the travel industry for decades. If a hotel has a major PR disaster the way to get past it is apologize profusely, offer to make it up to guests affected, and say what you are doing or have done to fix the problem. Whether it’s a racist staff member, something like Legionnaire’s disease, or bedbugs,
What you do NOT do is deny the problem ever happened and accuse your accusers. #CantFixStupid

Deflated balls?

August 26, 2019

A Harvard study found that former American football players who suffered concussions are more likely to develop low testosterone levels and erectile dysfunction in later life.  Forget CTE, this might be what finally kills pro football.

After Houston talk show host Rick Kamla yesterday called Andrew Luck, who went to high school in the area, a “quitter” and a “joke” in a tweet, today he apologized and said he used a “terrible choice of words.”
Translation, Luck retired, I don’t want to be fired.

Anyone but me not only a sports fan but also REALLY don’t care about Antonio Brown and his helmet?

Chiefs sign Matt Moore, who retired after 2017 season, as a backup QB after Chad Henne broke his ankle.
Now, I’ve never been a huge Kaepernick fan, especially since he says it’s not worth voting, but who’s going to get signed next before him? Brett Favre, Tim Tebow?

This Sunday there were three malls, including the Great Mall in Milpitas, California, with shooting scares.  But aside from how terrifying these episodes are, how long until millions of Americans just decide they feel safer only doing online shopping? As if retail isn’t hurting enough.

Former Maricopa county Sheriff Joe Arpaio was convicted for criminal contempt of court over a racial profiling case and pardoned by Trump in 2017. How he’s running again for Sheriff in 2020.
Even Mississippi and Florida are going “How nuts does he think Arizona voters are?”

Trump this morning claimed Melania has “gotten to know” North Korean leader Kim Jong Un. So another useless lie? Or is he confusing Melania and Ivanka. #WishfulThinking

Trump today, claiming he’s an “environmentalist. “I want clean air. I want clean water. “I want a wealthy country. I want a spectacular country, with jobs, with pensions…and that’s what we’re getting.”
Yeah, when I was about five I wanted a flying pony.

Can anyone imagine how apoplectic GOP would have been if Obama even proposed having G7 in Hawaii because it was close to where he grew up? Let alone at a place he owned.

Another thought about 2020 G7. They are held generally in the summer. Having graduated from Lake Brantley High school near Orlando, outdoors in early June, I can attest that even at 7a no human being wants to be in Florida that time of year

So Trump feels the need to deny that he asked about nuking hurricanes but not that he says windmills cause cancer?

Without a little bit of Luck

August 25, 2019

Colts fans must feel as shocked and betrayed as if someone stole their team in the middle of the night.


Wonder how many fans in Indianapolis who booed Andrew Luck as a coward for retiring would cheer if the Colts signed Colin Kaepernick in his place.


But yes, your reminder, Colin Kaepernick is still available.

Pablo Sandoval to have Tommy John surgery. Wonder if he’ll recover in time to pitch next season.

Patriots TE Lance Kendricks now joins Benjamin Watson on the suspended list, and safety Patrick Chung has been arrested on a cocaine charge. Gosh, whoever thought Bill Belichick would have so many players doing something illegal?

Tennessee Volunteers sophomore CB Bryce Thompson arrested for misdemeanor domestic assault after he allegedly threatened to “slap the s— out of” a woman and to “shoot up the school.”
Since Thompson was a Freshman All-American and led the team in interceptions last year, how long until someone decides he’s a nice kid who deserves a second chance?

Meanwhile, NCAA has put Mississippi State football on probation for academic cheating. Well, good to know they’ve punished the only problem school in the SEC.

With about 5 weeks left in MLB season, Baltimore GM Mike Elias has fired 11 people in front office and scouting department. He says it’s “to provide those who lost their jobs a jump at getting back into the market.”
Because don’t all other teams want to snatch up talent from the Orioles?

On Trump tariffs, “This is not the way to proceed. Apart from everything else, those who support the tariffs are at risk of incurring the blame for the downturn in the global economy, irrespective of whether or not that is true.”
This sentence from that noted voice of reason Boris Johnson!!??

Trump at G7  “The question I was asked most today by fellow World Leaders, who think the USA is doing so well and is stronger than ever before, happens to be, “Mr. President, why does the American media hate your Country so much? Why are they rooting for it to fail?””
Uh, would he like to name ONE of those world leaders?

How long until Trump claims the Amazon rainforest fires are the fault of Jeff Bezos?

Joe Walsh says he will primary Donald Trump in 2020.  Let me be very clear, I agree with Joe Walsh on very little, and disagree with him strongly on guns and a woman’s right to choose.
But I believe he is a sane person who loves this country. And cannot say the same about Trump.

Tying knots

August 24, 2019

Olympic gold medal skier Lindsey Vonn and current NHL star P.K. Subban are getting married. Do we call this yet another missed cut for Tiger Woods?

Dwight Howard has signed with Los Angeles Lakers, and ESPN reports they have told him “Disrupt this team — and you’ll be gone.”
Over-under on how long he’ll last?

Team USA just lost to Australia in basketball. Can we blame Trump?

Miami 19, Philadelphia 11. Wait, I know the Raiders and Panthers played in Winnipeg, but I thought Marlins Park was baseball only.

So the real question at G7 France – Who will Trump insult first?

Seth Moulton has dropped out of the Presidential Race. All together now “Who?”

Amazing how same people who insist the most left-wing members of Congress are the “face of the Democratic party,” somehow don’t make the same statement about Steve King being the face of the GOP.

Got to love it, the Stable Genius is tweeting that “Our great American companies are hereby ordered to immediately start looking for an alternative to China…”
And he’s tweeting from a iPhone!

Meanwhile, I am getting regular fundraising emails from Bernie Sanders whose campaign seems to think I want a Bernie baseball card or baseball shirt. Uh, yeah, I’m “Vote Blue No Matter Who 2020” but otherwise….I’d ALMOST rather wear a Dodger shirt. Sorry.


Jean Cramer, a Marysville, Michigan city council candidate, said she wants to keep the town “as white as possible,” and added a “husband and wife need to be the same race. Same thing with kids. That’s how it’s been from the beginning of, how can I say, when God created the heaven and the earth. He created Adam and Eve at the same time.”
Uh if that’s literally true then ALL kids are descended from their children and thus products of incest. #WTF?
(and actually, there are no pictures of Adam nor Eve…. who’s to say they were the same race? A creator can go for diversity too.)


Finally, Limerick Time. Because, why not?
There once was a President Trump
Who expected the whole world to jump.
For his thoughts that were bad,
and really quite sad.
Which he tweeted while taking a dump.

Punishments and maybe crimes.

August 23, 2019


New England safety Patrick Chung reported has been arrested and will be charged with of cocaine possession, This being the Patriots, let’s see how NFL makes sure any jail time or suspension is scheduled for after 2020 Super Bowl.


Baltimore Orioles pitchers gave up 259th home run of 2019, now breaking single-season record set by 2016 Reds.
With over a month left in season 300 is CLEARLY in sight.
Just imagine if the team played at Great American Ballpark or Coors?

Wait, now Starbucks announced that Pumpkin Spice Latte is returning Aug. 27. Along with Christmas decorations? WTF?

QANTAS plans to start a New York to Sydney flight, but first they will do test flights to study what happens to health of flight crews and passengers when they spend 19 hours on a plane.
Will the tests include being in a middle seat with crying babies on both sides?

Welcome to the USA. Have a client who has been sitting on the ground at SFO on an Air Canada plane for over 90 minutes after landing waiting for a gate…
Are we great yet?

So why did Sarah Huckabee Sanders just now join Fox News? Was she waiting to see if she could beat out Sean Spicer for DWTS?

Sean Spicer heads to “Dancing With The Stars.” Meanwhile Sarah Huckabee Sanders heads to Fox News “Dancing with the Truth.”

Even “Wag the Dog” thought when the President started a fake conflict it had to be over Albania. Guess they thought no one would believe…. GREENLAND?!!

Tom Cotton, defending Trump. “pointed several times to President Harry Truman’s attempts to buy Greenland from Denmark” in 1946.
Uh, President Harry Truman also proposed a universal health care program in 1945. …

So what’s next, Trump picks a fight with England when he decides he wants Queen Elizabeth to sell him his ancestral homeland of Scotland?


Really really miss the days when you could get on a flight without Wi-Fi for 5 hours and not anticipating landing with the thought “WTF did POTUS do now?”

Outta here

August 21, 2019

Baltimore Orioles just tied record of 258 for most home runs allowed in season, set by 2016 Cincinnati Reds who play at the Little League field known as “Great American Ballpark.” Mariners, Angels, Yankees, and Phillies are all on pace to break the record too.
But no, the ball isn’t juiced.

How juiced is the 2019 MLB baseball? If Duane Kuiper were playing now he’d have hit TWO home runs.

Houston Astros were one of the largest favorites in MLB game ever when Justin Verlander took mound against the Detroit Tigers tonight.

And they lost 2-1.  They also lost in extra innings as huge favorites to the Orioles recently.. And then wonder what the odds were when Verlander started WS Game 1 in 2012 against SF Giants and Barry Zito?

Maybe the Houston should beg Vegas to make them longshots to win the World Series?

Sean Spicer on #DWTS? Because he has so much experience Dancing with the Truth?

I’m so old that I remember when Ted Cruz falsely claimed in his Presidential campaign that he “had a president in the White House who has a messiah complex.”
And now that we have one who actually DOES…..?

If Alec Baldwin on SNL as Trump described himself as “King of Israel,” many Republicans would complain the show had gone too far.
Yet Trump does it for real and GOP just shrugs.

Trump this morning referred to PM of Denmark as “nasty,” to himself as “King of Israel” and also “the chosen one.”
At this point beginning to think that anyone who doesn’t think he’s pathological is themselves pathological.

So where are all those in GOP who lost their collective sh*t over Obama’s executive orders now that Trump says he’s “very seriously” looking at trying to change the Constitution by executive order to eliminate birthright citizenship?
Asking for a country.

The man who referred to Mayor of London as a “stone cold loser,” Justin Trudeau as “dishonest and weak, and to Africa as having “shithole countries” now responds to Danish PM’s saying his proposal to buy Greenland is “absurd” by calling her “nasty.”
Are we great yet?


So if Governor Gavin Newsom calls Trump “absurd” does that mean that Donald will call off all future trips to California? Oh please oh please…

You go, for the uprights, girl!

August 20, 2019

Women’s World Cup star Carli Lloyd,  an Eagles fan,  hit a number of field goals at Philadelphia camp Tuesday, including a 55-yarder.  Well, Lloyd might root for the Eagles, but would she sign a contract with the Bears?

Even Terrell Owens is thinking Antonio Brown is a prima donna.


Now would be a good time for Colin Kaepernick to say that upon further reflection, he thinks that it’s an absolute necessity to vote.

A Harvard study indicates a chemical in cannabis may have
“major impact” as a treatment for pancreatic cancer. This could be the best news for pot smokers since the invention of Doritos.

McDonalds has a new “McCafe it Forward” promotion with free coffee cards customers can give to someone who has been nice to them.
And millions of Americans are thinking “McDonald’s coffee?” Shouldn’t acts of kindness be rewarded not punished?


Yes, as a woman i like to believe we are the smarter sex. And then I read that SEVEN of us have decided to marry Larry King.

Bill de Blasio, who says he’s staying in, thinks the Presidential race is fluid “There is not, in the end I think, a sense among Democratic voters that they are secure where they want to go.”
True, but they’re pretty secure they don’t want to vote for HIM.

Trump after Gilroy, El Paso and Dayton “There’s a great appetite for tightening background checks.
Trump yesterday “we do have a lot of background checks right now.”
So a sad congratulations to all those who had “about a week” in the pool.

Seven Puerto Rican Women who work at a Department of Health clinic in Florida who were hired because they are bilingual, say they have been threatened with firing because they speak Spanish between themselves.
Lots of conservative response “It’s America, they should speak English, our common language.
Same conservatives when women complain about offensive “locker room banter” fromn men. “Oh, just deal with it, snowflakes.”

Donald Trump today “I think any Jewish people that vote for a Democrat, I think it shows either a total lack of knowledge or great disloyalty.”
What’s next, he’s going to propose Jewish Democrats wear a star or something?

Anyone STILL want to say we have no need for the 25th Amendment…?
Trump tweet of the night “Denmark is a very special country with incredible people, but based on Prime Minister Mette Frederiksen’s comments, that she would have no interest in discussing the purchase of Greenland, I will be postponing our meeting scheduled in two weeks for another time….”

It doesn’t count, right?

August 19, 2019

Don’t have much interest in pre-season football but I must admit the Jimmy Garoppolo  hysteria after one bad preseason game is pretty amusing. 

And hey, as far as QB ratings, 0 is a perfect number too, right?

Antonio Brown hasn’t been able to play because he got frostbite because he didn’t wear prescribed footwear for below -100 degree cryotherapy.
And he’s worried about a helmet? Sounds like the damage has already been done. Or #cantfixstupid

Happiest people about Antonio Brown/Oakland Raiders saga have to be  Ben Roethlisberger, Mike Tomlin, along with Pittsburgh Steelers fans.


In Las Vegas, the most preseason Super Bowl bets are being placed on the the Chicago Bears and Cleveland Browns. Yeah, there’s a reason they’ve been able to afford to build all those amazing resorts.

Would love for Madison Bumgarner to re-sign with SF Giants next year. And have to wonder if Chris Sale, now out for the year with an elbow injury, has increased the chances of that happening.

As in encouraging moderation in competing offers – Sale, the same age as Madbum,  had just signed a five-year, $145 million contract extension this year.

Hard to know who wins the prize for feud between two people you’d most like to see BOTH lose.
But Trump vs. Scaramucci is getting some competition from Jerry Jones vs. Ezekiel Elliott.


Rumors that White House  is thinking of pushing for temporary payroll tax cut as a way to stop an economic slowdown. Wait, I thought this was greatest economy ever and anyone who says otherwise is pushing “fake News…”

FBI and police nailed three wannabe mass shooters this weekend, so surely Trump will be congratulating their good work. Oh wait, all three were young male white supremacists, never mind.

Never understood the appeal of mud-wrestling, but there’s something strangely compelling about watching Trump vs. Scaramucci.


Trump tweeting about “reducing tensions in Kashmir.” Does he think it has something to do with Ivanka’s expensive sweater line?


Donald Trump seems so vindictively obsessed with Scaramucci you’d almost think they once dated.

It’s about education, right?

August 18, 2019

In college football, a  non-graduate transfer must sit out a year before playing at his new school, unless he gets a waiver, which NCAA  only granted for “egregious behavior.”

Then in 2018 this was changed to “mitigating circumstances.”

Now it’s “Extenuating, extraordinary and mitigating circumstances”

And they say the balk rule is confusing.

(So are extenuating, extraordinary and mitigating circumstances covered if a player can explain and spell all those words?)


So as someone who is a strong believer in mean bitch karma, what are the odds that the Raiders’  Antonio Brown gets an injury that has nothing to do with his helmet?


Washington’s Colt McCoy has yet to play in preseason meaning Case Keenum will likely be the Redskins’ starting QB.   How long until even some Trump supporters start calling for the team to sign Kaepernick.?

QB Josh McCown who had announced his retirement, is joining the Eagles. “The first time is the hardest” said Brett Favre.


Nationals put closer Sean Doolittle on IL after another blown save. He’s 0-2 with a 7.36 ERA since the All-Star break. So once again, how did the Giants lose 3 in a row to THAT bullpen?


Customs seized $2.3 million of marijuana at a San Diego port, in a shipment that was supposed to be jalapeno peppers. So did they get a hot tip?


Trump today on gun control “we do have a lot of background checks right now.” (Translation, I’m not going to do anything and people will move on to my next crisis.)

More Trump- It’s people that pull the trigger, not the gun that pulls the trigger so we have a very, very big mental health problem…concept of mental institutions” must be addressed. Exactly HOW would Trump pay for institutions when he doesn’t want to pay for mental healthcare?


Serious question. Can anyone remember Trump saying anything nice about anyone who has been even mildly critical of him?

I think USA deserves a President who loves this country as much as Trump loves talking about crowd sizes.

Bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye baby

August 17, 2019

12 home runs tonight in SF Giants 10-9 win in Arizona.


With all the baseballs ending up in the stratosphere are we sure tonight’s SF Giants Arizona Diamondbacks game wasn’t sponsored by NASA?

Your reminder, again, that the Orioles DFA’ed Mike Yastrzemski. SF Giants say “thank you.”

SF Giants Dereck Rodriguez complained after his last start about being sent to the minors and losing his place in the rotation.
Last night he came back, and threw 7 shutout innings.
Just guessing that “little less conversation a little more action” will be more effective at keeping him in big leagues.

Cal will start selling beer and wine during football games. Makes some sense. You almost have to be drunk to sit through Golden Bears games.

NFL is reinstating Josh Gordon. Too soon to start a pool on when he’ll be suspended again?

Didn’t realize that Bowling Green was in Little League World Series. Amazed they’re not getting more coverage for their bravery in still playing after that horrible massacre.

WTF? The Mormon Church yesterday reminded young people to avoid coffee, tea (including iced tea) , harmful and habit-forming substances including vaping, adding “any drink ending in “-ccino” probably has coffee and therefore breaks the rules.”
Uh, has any member of Church actually been to Starbucks?. Only “harmful and habit-forming substance” in a Strawberry frappuccino is sugar.

Fox News headline. “2020 race shaping up as battle between ‘Keep America Great’ vs. ‘Make America Boring Again.”
Not saying I agree, but thinking compared to now, millions of Americans would be THRILLED for “Boring Again.”


Mitch McConnell has surgery today to repair that shoulder he says he fractured in a fall a few weeks ago.  So he now has a pre-existing condition? Will Moscow Mitch relinquish future insurance claims as he wants Americans to do if GOP can repeal Obamacare?

Does Trump want to buy Greenland because he thinks the “Green” part has something to do with golf?


Ah, this is one of the reasons I am fond of Amy Klobuchar – Her tweet riddle today. “The difference between Donald Trump and Greenland? Greenland is not for sale.”

Juice box?

August 16, 2019

Miami 13, Los Angeles 7. So who scheduled pre-season football at Marlins Park today

DeMarcus Cousins, who signed with Los Angeles Lakers this summer, has torn his left ACL. Was he washing his truck at the time?

It’s only August 15, but right now looks like someone’s going to win the NL Central with a record that would leave them about 10 games behind the second AL Wild Card.

Johnny Cueto threw 49 pitches for San Jose tonight in a rehab start & is supposed to throw 55-60 pitches next time. San Francisco is considering activating him very soon. Why not? Especially with today’s baseballs, SF Giants, and other teams, have had starters be essentially gone after that many pitches.

Tonight reminded us of why SF Giants gave Dereck Rodriguez a bobblehead.


Trump tonight called a protester at his rally fat. Funeral services this weekend are pending for Irony.

Trump tweeting about Walmart sales results. Wonder why he isn’t talking about 22 people who won’t be shopping anymore at Walmart because they are dead

So Trump wants to buy Greenland? Next I assume he will tell us Mexico will pay for it.

After a ton of online ads today I get actual US Mail fundraising letter from Tom Steyer, who I’ve never donated to…. And while I’m “Vote Blue No Matter Who 2020” haven’t we learned a lesson about politically inexperienced rich white men who say “I alone can fix it?”

New poll finds 90% of Americans want background checks for gun sales, and 67% want a ban on assault weapons.
But of course that poll is from that liberal media source… . Fox News.
Oops, never mind.


Trump says “Representatives Omar and Tlaib are the face of the Democrat Party.”
They aren’t my favorite members of Congress but better them than Steve King and Roy Moore.

But give Donald credit, who else for many moderates and even Republicans could make two of the most controversial Democrat congresswomen into sympathetic figures?

Someone said I would like it if England banned Rep. Steve King as part of a Congressional delegation. Now, I DESPISE Steve King. But I loved Molly Ivins more. “This is a fairly standard fate for free speech in this country: We all believe in it — until it really, really hurts.”

He’s had Better days

August 14, 2019

Apparently SF 49ers Jimmy Garoppolo threw interceptions on five straight pass attempts at practice today. Who does he think he is, an aging Brett Favre?

Lots of talk about Yankees dominating Orioles with 16 straight wins and 17-2 season record. Little mention of 1993, when Braves beat Rockies in all 13 games they played. Had Colorado won ONE game, the Giants, with 103 wins would have at least made it into a one-game playoff for the Division.
But no, I’m not still bitter.

Ah analytics. Apparently Giants’  Tyler Beede as of today was tied with Orioles’ David Hess “for the highest average exit velocity allowed (91.2 mph) among Major League starters with a minimum of 200 balls in play.”
Uh, Beede’s ERA over last 5 games is 8.49. Don’t need analytics to say, he’s getting hit hard.

ESPN talking about how only Dodgers, Yankees and Astros – the “super teams” have a chance to win it all this year.
Reminds me of 2003, when NL had two “super teams,” Braves (101 wins) and SF Giants (100 wins.) The only question was which of them would make the World Series.

(Answer, Florida Marlins.)

Anyone but me had no idea who Todd and Julie Chrisley are, and have no real interest in finding out?


Philadelphia shooting suspect is apparently an American citizen who isn’t Muslim. So standby for GOP to give lip service to “mental illness” for about two minutes.


Amy Klobuchar tweeting “I’ll say it again: The Senate needs to get back to work. We could pass universal background check legislation that 97% of Americans support. Bring it up for a vote. Now.”
So if McConnell wants to hide in Kentucky, how about Dems calling to see if they can get a Senate quorum and just vote without him? At least some in GOP should be brave enough to vote.

Can anyone imagine what GOP would be saying if Obama stayed on vacation golfing while the stock market tanked?

Steve King “What if we went back through all the family trees and just pulled out anyone who was a product of rape or incest? Would there be any population of the world left if we did that?”

And the state that elected King to Congress gets an outsized role in choosing our Presidential nominees?  #NotTheOnion

Trump finally tweeting about Hong Kong “I have ZERO doubt that if President Xi wants to quickly and humanely solve the Hong Kong problem, he can do it. Personal meeting?”
Personal meeting, why? Does Trump want to mint more beautiful commemorative coins?

Put a bloody sock in it?

August 14, 2019


Curt Schilling, whose failed video game company bankrupted him and cost Vermont taxpayers almost $30 million, may run for Congress in Arizona. And Trump thinks it’s “terrific.”
Well of course Donald does. Grifters of a feather.

Actually, considering Curt Schilling’s record with a failed huge business fail costing taxpayers almost $30 million, why hasn’t Trump offered him a Cabinet position?

Tiger Woods, dealing with an oblique strain, says he’ll “give it a go” for this weekend’s BMW Championship.
Guess he’s decided the strain can’t get worse with just two days of golf.

SF 49ers assistant coach Katie Sowers now says she was told in 2017 by one unnamed NFL executive during an interview that his team wasn’t ready to hire a female coach.
For comparison, the Spurs hired Becky Hammon in 2014.

MLS Atlanta United manager Frank de Boer says he does not believe in equal pay for men and women in football, or sports such as tennis, because women don’t bring in as much revenue.
All together now, the Atlanta who?

Energy Secretary Rick Perry says Democrats are living in a “fantasy world” when it comes to their climate change rhetoric. So Perry is now an expert on fantasy worlds because of his stint on “Dancing with the Stars?

Trump on windmills in speech on energy: “All of a sudden it stops, the wind and the televisions go off, and your wives and husbands say, ‘Darling, I want to watch Donald Trump on television tonight, but the wind stopped blowing.”

No wonder Alec Baldwin wanted to stop playing Trump on SNL. The satire can’t keep up with reality.

I’m confused, not a Godfather fan, but I guess Fredo is supposed to be the stupid brother. So is it Don Jr or Eric?

Now NY Times reports both of Epstein’s guards on the night he died fell asleep, slept through their required checks AND falsified records.  So how long until they get offered jobs at Mar-A-Lago?

Lost in Epstein craziness is fact that everyone concedes guards, one a substitute, were working crazy amounts of overtime. This due to Trump hiring freeze. So instead of prison being staffed properly taxpayers probably paying MORE $$$ in overtime than in salaries. #Winning

Finally, what a f*ckwad. Ken Cuccinelli “Give me your tired and your poor who can stand on their own two feet and who will not become a public charge.”
You know who wasn’t a public charge? Those immigrant workers rounded up by ICE in Mississippi.
You know who will become a public charge? Their US citizen CHILDREN


Being Puigy?

August 12, 2019

Yasiel Puig has dropped his appeal and will begin serving his three-game suspension for brawling in his last game as a Cincinnati Red next Monday night .  His new team, the Indians that night will open a three-game series against Boston.

How far have the World Series champions fallen that a player figures that’s the game his team will least miss him?

Marc Ragovin says “How dead are the Red Sox?  Their team security is being handled by the NY Bureau of Prisons.”

Another good reason the SF Giants didn’t trade closer Will Smith. Imagine the waste of his bat if he went to an AL team.

Headline in NY Daily News today “The Yankees absolutely own the Orioles.”
Uh, Baltimore is 39-79. MOST teams absolutely own the Orioles.

Washington Nationals have 7-2 lead going to the 8th against Reds, hang on to win 7-6 with tying run at 2nd with 1 out in the 9th.
So all Nats need to win it all is Max Scherzer having a Mickey Lolich/Madison Bumgarner type World Series.

A-Rod’s rental car was broken into near Oracle Park last night with estimated $500,000 in electronics & jewelry stolen.
Now, burglaries shouldn’t happen to anyone…. but who leaves half a million worth of stuff in a rental car? #cantfixstupid


Pretty sure “Jenny from the Bronx” is telling A-Rod, “Honey, I love you but WTF are you doing leaving valuables in your car on the street?”


Now I’m getting FB messages from Tom Steyer “Still hoping to see Tom on stage for the 3rd debate?”
Uh, just say no.

Now Trump is retweeting Joe Biden’s gaffes. I just spit my covfefe.

Trump tweeting today about his “great and loyal friends” Diamond and Silk.
Right, until one of them slips and says something mildly critical of him, or gets arrested, and then he will claim he hardly knows him.

Trump’s new Public Charge rule penalizes legal immigrants who use any government benefits, including for their children. Uh, how about the immigrant who with her son is in public housing on Pennsylvania Avenue.


“Public Charge” can include medical care for your kid. So Trump is saying someone who has had a sick child could be denied a green card for having accepted Medicaid. Once again, pro-life my ass.

Biggest baseball smile of the year?

August 11, 2019

Giants closer Will Smith  in 8 major league seasons had never had an at-bat.  He had one today with his team leading 7-6 in the 8th, and hit a 2 run single.

So maybe Madison Bumgarner is just just a role model for pitchers on the mound.  But good thing SF Giants held onto him and Will Smith.  They needed their bats.

So of all the crazy things this baseball season, how did the SF Giants not manage to win at least 1 of 3 games where they faced the Washington Nationals bullpen?

Astros behind Justin Verlander today in Baltimore were one of biggest betting road favorite against the Orioles today in baseball history.

Bringing to mind one of my favorite jokes “If God bet on baseball how would he do?

“7 or 8 of 10. Baseballs take funny bounces.”

Weird sports stat for the day: Going into today’s game against each other, the Royals (42-76) and Tigers (35-79) had won fewer games between them than the Dodgers (78-41)

The Arizona Cardinals released DT Darius Philon after he was arrested for aggravated assault with a deadly weapon, allegedly for threatening to shoot a dancer outside a strip club in May.
Wonder if this will or won’t be the end of Philon’s career, it’s not like he knelt for the anthem.

Florida sophomore DB John Huggins has been dismissed from football program. While a reason wasn’t given, last fall Huggins allegedly put his hands around a tutor’s neck. He’s the fifth Gator to have been reported for violence against a woman under second-year coach Mullen.
Are we sure Urban Meyer isn’t somehow involved?


Marianne Williamson claiming “there’s some very powerful forces that want to make sure I’m not in that third debate.” “Very powerful forces?” They’re called “voters.”

We are now in a world where the President of the United States talks about trusting a murderous North Korean dictator while retweeting a tweet accusing a former President of the United States of murder.

Democrats are condemning Trump for re-tweeting a no-evidence conspiracy theory linking Jeffrey Epstein’s death to Bill Clinton.
Why aren’t Republicans joining them?

It’s been revealed there is no surveillance video of the moment Epstein hanged himself. “I’m shocked,” said nobody.


11p on Saturday night and the “Leader of the free world” was going after Anthony Scaramucci. Gosh, why doesn’t Trump go after the idiot who hired Scaramucci in the first place?

On a weekend Trump attacks Donny Deutsch, Joe Scarborough and Bill Maher on Twitter all in 24 hours. But no, Donald doesn’t watch much TV….


So where are the pictures of the crying children in Mississippi because their parents were thrown in jail for hiring undocumented workers. Oh wait, never mind.

Smallish mercies

August 10, 2019

Only good thing about Bryce Harper hitting two home runs to win game for Phillies Friday night.  Maybe he’ll regret not signing to play home games at Oracle Park.

Damn, okay let it be known for ONCE I actually agree with Trump – On Kaepernick today – “I know so many of the owners. If he’s good enough, I know these people. They would sign him in a heartbeat. They will do anything they can to win games.”

Heck, NFL owners would sign OJ Simpson if he were back in his prime.


Kid Rock is the Rick Santorum of music.


DOT yesterday told airlines and passengers they will start enforcing rules governing animals that people bring on planes and that airline employees can bar any animal they consider a safety threat.
Now, I hate people abusing the idea “emotional support” animals as much as anyone. But as far as priorities, let’s see, how many Americans have been killed by unruly pets on planes?

Trump now threatening countries that issue travel warnings on the United States because of gun violence.
“If they did that, we’d just reciprocate. We are a very reciprocal nation with me as the head. When somebody does something negative to us in terms of a country, we do it to them.”
So now the warnings will say – “Don’t travel to the US, there’s a threat of gun violence and their leadership is unstable.”

THEWEEK.COM  “Trump’s aides reportedly expect his August vacation will center around “golf, cable news and Twitter.”
Some headlines don’t even need a punchline.



CNN reports that the White House has told ICE officials to conduct dozens more workplace enforcement operations this year. Can they start at Trump resorts?

Trump said this week’s ICE raids in Mississippi were “a very good deterrent.”
So how exactly how many American citizens have been arrested for knowingly hiring immigrants?

Melania tweets that El Paso community is “strong and unbreakable,” on the same day her husband proudly breaks up families in Mississippi.

This is one time no one is going to say RIP. #Epstein


A very important prisoner with dirt on some very important people committing suicide in prison is one of those plot twists we used to complain about as unrealistic on “24.”


White House hasn’t had a press briefing since March 11. Rush Limbaugh says Trump stopped the briefings to stop “egomaniacs showing off.”
Right, because that’s Trump’s job.