Archive for November 2014

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Learning experiences.

November 9, 2014

Former Tarheels football player Mike McAdoo is suing UNC, claiming they had promised to give him a “legitimate education” in return for playing sports. Responded SEC players, what’s a “legitimate education?”

 

Lee Chong Wei,, the world’s top-ranked badminton player, has apparently failed a doping test. Badminton? Who knew, the most honest sport might turn out to be pro wrestling.

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A LivingSocial coupon offers half price LASIK. Is it just me or does surgery on your eyes at a major discount sound about as comforting as day-old sushi?

 

ABC has cancelled their new comedy “Selfie.” ABC had a new comedy named “Selfie?”

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Ohio State now feels they should have a chance for the college football playoff after knocking off Michigan State. Well, if so, the Buckeyes are a unanimous pick for the team everyone else wants to play in the first round.

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Seismologists say the increasing intensity of earthquake swarm in Nevada has also increased the chance of a large quake occurring. And across the state people have one major question, how do we  parlay this into a football bet?

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The New York Knicks are getting their fans excited this week. Mostly about the fact that Mets and Yankees spring training starts in approximately 3 months.

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Well, at least after this week ‪#‎NotreDame‬ fans won’t be losing sleep over what might have been if not for a controversial call. ‪#‎NDvsASU‬

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Now that Auburn has lost, will the SEC push for an instant expansion of the BCS playoff games from 4 to 8 teams this year?

 

This just in. Utah announces all football players will be required to complete enough math classes to count to 100.

 

It was really  a Rough week for with their goal line “fumble” & TD return.  But at least they can count on sympathy next week from the band?

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After posting an Instagram pictures of him playing golf despite a back injury, Steve Nash wrote a letter to fans starting “I definitely don’t want to be a distraction.” And most Lakers fans are thinking, are you kidding, we need every distraction we can get?

 

 

From Bill Littlejohn: “First it was Nate Burleson who broke his arm while reaching for pizza as he drove. Now DeAngelo Hall has re-torn his Achilles whhile grabbing a slice of pizza from his kitchen. Looks like Nate may have started a Domino's effect.”

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Sailing on.

November 8, 2014

The stars of “The Love Boat” got together for a 30 year reunion to christen some of Princess’s new ships. After the photo, Gavin McLeod then reportedly told everyone “You punks get off my promenade deck.”

 

 

Apparently Oakland Raiders owner Mark Davis is considering moving the team to San Antonio. Responded the Spurs, “There goes the neighborhood.”

 

 

RNC chair Reince Priebus said of the upcoming 2016 US Presidential campaign “If we have a candidate on the ballot who someone actually wants to have a beer with, we can win.” Right, because that worked out so well for our country in 2000.

 

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From Alex Kaseberg.  “Nike has cancelled their contract with Adrian Peterson who pled no contest to whipping his 4-year-old son. “Sure, we exploit children as slaves in factories,” said Nike, “but whipping them is going too far.”

 

Holland America Line has announced that they will add six special theme cruises in 2015 highlighting “Dancing with the Stars.” Well, that ought to do wonders for all the wives trying to persuade their husbands to take their first cruise.

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Mark Zuckerberg was asked wh he wears “the same T-shirt every day.” His response “I really want to clear my life to make as few decisions as possible. I’m not doing my job if I spend any of my energy on anything that is silly or frivolous.” And millions of men across America just found their new hero.

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Spectacular. In Palo Alto, close to the epicenter of Silicon Valley, the races for City Council and School Board are still too close to call, because the Santa Clara County Registrar of Voters is still counting vote-by-mail ballots turned in on Tuesday – they still have about 75,000 of maybe 140,000 to go. But hey, write an email about something and Facebook has an ad for it in about 10 minutes.

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Carton Ashton of the Toronto Maple Leafs was suspended 20 games by the NHL for a failed drug test Ashton claims he accidentally must have ingested a banned substance when he borrowed another athlete’s inhaler. Who says hockey isn’t a major sport. That’s truly a major league level creative excuse

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So now we have an argument over which SEAL in a supposedly covert mission actually shot Bin Laden? Does it matter? Guessing most of the GOP is okay with it being anyone as long as they don’t blame Obama.

 

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A black and white picture from 1838 is has emerged that is believed to be the earliest known photograph featuring a person. Wonder if was it taken at a high school football practice of Adam Vinatieri?

 

 

From T.C.  ” A Denver Broncos fans went to a game and disappeared at half time. Two days later, he was found 100 miles away. The man said that for no explainable reason, he had the urge to start walking towards Omaha. ”

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The fourth student shot by a high school classmate in Marysville, WA in what basically was an execution-style killing this October, has died. And sadly, many Americans’ response is probably “If only the victims were armed.”

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May the night light be with you.

November 7, 2014

Star Wars VII now has a title “The Force Awakens.” And given the age of many in the cast, presume the subtitle is “Every Few Hours in the Middle of the Night to Pee.”

 

Madison Bumgarner just won the “Silver Slugger” award for being the best offensive player at his position. But the SF Giants lefty didn’t get a hit in the postseason, including the World Series. What a disappointment.

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San Diego shortstop Everth Cabrera was stopped for allegedly driving under the influence of marijuana, and ultimately charged with resisting arrest. Of course, being a Padre, if he pulled the “Do you know who I am?” card, the answer might have honestly been. “No.”

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A-Rod reportedly admitted to using PEDS during a meeting with the DEA earlier this year. Yep, baseball normalcy has returned: The World Series is over and the Yankees are back in the headlines.

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The first NFL 2015 “International Series” game at Wembley will be the Miami Dolphins vs. the NY Jets. And Jets fans are thinking, “Can London just keep them?”

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John Boehner said that executive actions by Obama on immigration would “poison the well” for legislation. As opposed to that great bipartisan effort Congress has made with the President so far?

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A court today upheld gay marriage bans in Michigan, Ohio, Kentucky and Tennessee. So in those last two states, men can still marry their sisters, just not their brothers?

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On Fox News, Condoleezza Rice criticized Democratic campaign ads aimed at African Americans in the South that featured Ferguson and the death of Michael Brown. She said she found the fear mongering “appalling” and “insulting.” Uh, okay Condi, but what about fear mongering in GOP ads aimed at whites about crime and immigration featuring minorities?

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Duke coach Mike Krzyzewski said of freshman Jahlil Okafor “We won’t have him long. We’ll have him this year and then he’ll be one of the top [NBA] picks.” In other words, Okafor’s second semester professors might as well forget about getting those papers turned in.

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Wonder if Okafor will stick around long enough to learn to spell “Krzyewski?”

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Let the fun begin. Sources told ESPN that Ravens GM Ozzie Newsome testified under oath Thursday that he heard Ray Rice in June tell Roger Goodell that he hit Janay in a casino hotel elevator.  So let’s see, does the NFL commissioner claims amnesia or a concussion.

 

 

Jennifer Aniston apparently goes without makeup in her new film “Cake,” and called it “dreamy and empowering and liberating.”    And yes, imagine what a shocking change  it must have been – relying only on her personal assistants, trainer and esthetician.

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Lebron James is apparently “concerned” about the Cavaliers 1-3 start. Did he think it would be easy for the team to improve enough to be knocked off by the Spurs in the NBA finals?

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Not so silent majority.

November 6, 2014

Mitch McConnell claims that after last night’s election “The Senate is going to go back to work and actually pass legislation.” And somewhere Ted Cruz is just giggling.

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So how long until Mitch McConnell figures out that it is now his circus AND his monkeys? ‪#‎Election2014‬

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Sounds like I posted too soon on the 2014 election fundraising emails ending. Just got the first asking for money for a recount. ‪#‎itneverends‬

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Chris Christie says he will make a decision “sometime next year” on running for President. Well, not sure if he can beat Hillary Clinton. But Christie is proving to be her equal in being disingenuous.

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You think it didn’t matter if you voted? Right now the candidates vying for the last seat on Palo Alto City Council, candidates with very different views and “slates”, are separated by about 30 votes. In a city of almost 60,000 people.

 

 

Alex Rodriguez reportedly paid a cousin $1 million to keep quiet about his PED use. Well, that money worked out to be as good a value as the last few years of A-Rod’s own Yankees contract.

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Alfonso Soriano says he is retiring from major league baseball. Most fans are shocked. Soriano hadn’t ALREADY retired?

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November 5 was  one of TWO National Doughnut Days. The other is the first Friday in June. Figures, not like Americans could stop at just one doughnut anything.

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A small plane with the banner “Fire John Idzik!” circled the NY Jets’ practice field for a short time this morning. Then the plane was presumably intercepted by another plane.

 

Ah, the holiday season is upon us. A Nebraska woman was arrested and charged with two felonies for allegedly hitting a fellow Wal-Mart shopper with her PT Cruiser last weekend, because the person took her parking spot in the lot.

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And no doubt many of these parents voted. A Louisville TV station is reporting a local teacher resigned when her Catholic school requested she take a precautionary 21-day leave AND produce a health note from her doctor, because parents raised concerns about her mission trip to Kenya. (Kenya is 3000 miles from West Africa)

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So according to her attorney the mother of Adrian Peterson’s son is happy with the plea deal and doesn’t want his career to be harmed by the child abuse case. Well, yeah, if for no other reason than she wants her child support.

 

The CMA awards tonight pre-empted ABC’s comedy “Blackish.” And co-host Brad Paisley said “If you were looking for Black-ish tonight, yeah, this ain’t it. In the meantime, I hope you enjoy White-ish.” African Americans might have been offended. IF any of them had been watching the CMAs.

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Mark Sanchez says he is excited about his first start for the Eagles, which will be on next week’s MNF. Many Americans are excited too, some to see the Panthers win big, some to see Sanchez lead Philadelphia to a big win, and most just hoping to see another butt fumble.

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Newly elected Utah congresswoman Mia Love is a major rising star in the Republican party. with her anti-immigrant, anti-birthright citizenship and anti-welfare stances. The daughter of Haitian immigrants, however, also said in 2011, “My parents have always told me I was a miracle and our family’s ticket to America.” Love has also said her parents came on a tourist visa and stayed.

Makes sense she’s a GOP star. She’s proving a woman of color can be as much a hypocrite as a white man.

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Decisions, decisions.

November 5, 2014

A very low turnout in this year’s midterm elections. Which must on some level make all the winners and incumbents very happy.  Since all those people who didn’t vote have forfeited their bitching rights.

 

The polls are closed across the U.S. So finally the emails requesting money for the 2014 election will stop. The emails requesting money for 2016 start this morning.

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Not that I’m wishing harm on anyone, but it will be interesting to see what happens this winter the first time some natural disaster hits some state where a GOP leader has won election campaigning against the federal government.

 

What a country. Kim Kardashian Monday night posted “‘I’m standing w Obama in the midterm election 2morrow!’ Of course, since Kim probably didn’t take time to vote she probably didn’t even notice the President not being on the ballot.

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Not sure what Iowa’s Joni Ernst, who’s been downplaying her ties to Sarah Palin, might be like in the Senate. But her husband Gail at least looks like a gift for the comedy industry. This from his FB page last year: “What do you do if you see your ex running around in your front yard screaming and bloody? Stay calm. Reload. And try again.”

 

 

In Florida, Democrats had hoped a medical marijuana initiative would help Charlie Crist in Tuesday’s election. Alas wonder how many supporters  of the amendment will show up to vote Wednesday.

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A statement that kind of sums up American priorities. This from Kristin Mavromatis with the Mecklenburg County Board of Elections in North Carolina: “There are lines all over the place Not quite as long as the line at the Cheesecake Factory but there are lines.”

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Wonder how many people who didn’t think they have time to vote had time to update their fantasy football teams. ‪#‎ElectionDay‬

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Fox News’ Tucker Carlson. “We need, I think, an older white guy appreciation day, I think they have done a lot for this country.” With all due respect, in the U.S. EVERY day is “older white guy appreciation day.”

 

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A Virgin Australia flight bound for Sydney had to return to Los Angeles because of a plumbing problem that resulting in a nauseating smell on board. Ah for the good old days, when the most nauseating thing on a plane was the free food.

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President Obama just declared the lava flow from Hawaii’s Kilauea volcano to be a major disaster, which frees up federal money to help. Wonder how many people are thinking.”Yeah, just like Obama to send U.S. money overseas.”

 

Tony Romo says he is optimistic about Sunday’s game in London. Well, of course, who wouldn’t be optimistic with the prospect of playing the Jacksonville Jaguars?

 

Another why there is no satire: Dallas Cowboys hashtag for their London game is ‪#‎CowboysUK‬ Yes, they do.-

 

 

The LA Dodgers have hired Oakland A’s assistant GM Farhan Zaidi as their next GM. Right, okay, because the Athletics lasted so much longer than the Dodgers in recent playoffs.

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Are you not ready for some football?

November 4, 2014

An increasing number of ‪#‎NFL‬ teams seem to be playing like they’re auditioning for ‪#‎TheWalkingDead‬

 

 

#‎NYGiants‬ new slogan? “We s*ck less than the ‪#‎NYJets‬.

 

 

Interesting matchup next Sunday. The ‪#‎SF49ers‬, who after their start are furious at now being 4-4. Against the ‪#‎Saints‬, who after their start are thrilled to be 4-4.

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#‎NYJets‬ have a bye week. Which means that ‪#‎GenoSmith‬ will be about as productive as usual on fantasy teams.

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A last thought about ‪#‎SF49ers‬ goal line debacle yesterday. Some wonder why Harbaugh didn’t give the ball to Frank Gore. And Stanford fans remember Big Game 2009 and the Cardinal having a Heisman level RB and a chance to win at the end. Harbaugh didn’t give it to Gerhart either. ‪#‎whatmebitter‬

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Carmelo Anthony says that the Knicks are over last year’s “bad energy.” So that means NY is ready to create some new bad energy.?

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A last thought about ‪#‎SF49ers‬ goal line debacle yesterday. Some wonder why Harbaugh didn’t give the ball to Frank Gore. And Stanford fans remember Big Game 2009 and the Cardinal having a Heisman level RB and a chance to win at the end. Harbaugh didn’t give it to Gerhart either. ‪#‎whatmebitter‬

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Berkeley students are circulating a petition to get the university to cancel Bill Maher’s appearance at commencement. And somewhere the 1964 founders of the “Free Speech Movement” are weeping. Or they should be.

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A couple was actually married on a Southwest flight from Nashville to Dallas this weekend. Wonder if all was well until the bride reclined her seat into his and the groom filed for divorce?

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Red Lobster, which had added non-seafood items in hopes of attracting customers who didn’t like fish, is jettisoning some of those new dishes and adding more lobster. Makes sense. Because for those wanting mediocre chain food that isn’t seafood, the market is pretty saturated.

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Governor Jerry Brown is expected to win re-election handily tomorrow, despite having barely campaigned at all. Of course, one reason Brown might be so popular as that Californians haven’t seen him nonstop campaigning and running television ads.

 

 

From Marc Ragovin  –  ” Kenyan runners Wilson Kipsang and Mary Keitany won the NYC marathon. Upon crossing the finish line, Chris Christie ordered them to shut up as he and Andrew Cuomo threw them into quarantine tents.”

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Horsing around.

November 3, 2014

horse

 

As reported by the the SF Chronicle, apparently before the Giants World Series Parade the SF Police were chatting with Madison Bumgarner and along with all the congrats someone said “If there is anything we can do for you.” Madbum’s response, “Anything? Can I ride one of y’alls horses in the parade? After some discussion and risk assessment, the answer was something, well,  not exactly DURING the parade.”

 

 

Meanwhile, the #‎SF49ers‬ clearly needed ‪#‎MadBum‬

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Small silver lining for ‪#‎49ers‬ fans? At least ‪#‎Kaepernick‬ ‘s last play wasn’t a butt fumble.

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Saddest thing for ‪#‎NYJets‬ fans about a sad season? That win against the ‪#‎Raiders‬ may have cost them #1 draft pick.  Either that, or watching Mark Sanchez win in Philly?

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Washington coach Jay Gruden blasted an ESPN report today that said RG III has teammates who seem to disrespect him, saying it was “amateurish.” Well, if anyone should know about amateurish, it’s the coach of the Redskins.

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Silver lining with Stanford’s underwhelming football season. Players, coaches and fans get to celebrate New Year’s Eve at home.

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So one might think Oregon’s rout of Stanford might propel the Ducks into the top four for a projected BCS playoff spot. Nope, they’re still behind idle Alabama. ‪#‎nopac12respect‬

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Clocks turned back last night. Meaning hard-core ‪#‎Lakers‬ fans had another hour to not sleep.

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Breaking news, a Kenyan has won the New York City Marathon” Wouldn’t it be more news if a Kenyan DIDN’T win the New York City Marathon?

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Not the Onion. A Tucson pastor was woken up by police at 2am because a member of his congregation said she thought she had Ebola and her pastor had returned from Africa in September. He had been to Zambia, which is further from West Africa than San Francisco is from Washington, D.C. ‪#‎cantfixstupid‬

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Yet another example of why Trader Joe’s leaves other grocery stores in the dust. Saw a package of “Iced Cranberry Orange Scone Cookies” near the checkout. Told the cashier, those sound good. She said, “They are, want to try one?” Opened a box, gave me one, and offered them to anyone in the area. Sold about five boxes of cookies on the spot.

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Maybe there was too much hype for the ‪#‎DENvsNE‬ game? Peyton Manning might have thought he was back in the ‪#‎SuperBowl‬?

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A new poll shows Charlie Crist 7 points ahead of Gov. Rick Scott in Florida. Wow. Might have to retire half my Florida jokes.

 

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From Jerry Perisho:  Asked if she was going to the polls on Tuesday, Kim Kardashian said, “No, but I’m opening a new store in Warsaw, next spring.”

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Buy the sea?

November 1, 2014

Jake Peavy bought a duck boat when the Red Sox won the World Series, and reportedly is buying a cable car after the Giants’ win. Peavy did tell a reporter afterwards that while he loves SF, he and Jon Lester would love to be on the same team and “who wouldn’t want to play in Chicago?” Maybe Peavy decided he has enough vehicles.

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A cruise ship that was stuck when it ran aground Saturday in Norway managed to get free at high tide. Passengers were relieved. CNN was bitterly disappointed.

 

Royal Caribbean’s new cruise ship has a Bionic Bar, with two “bartenders” that are literally robots that mix drinks to order. Fun for passengers,maybe. But even more fun for the the cruise line, who can pocket the automatic 15% gratuities.

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When Pac 12 ,Big 12, ACC, and Big 10 teams beat up on each other intra-conference, it is viewed as a sign of the conferences being weak without dominant teams. When SEC teams beat up on each other, it’s just another example of their superiority and strength of schedule…..

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Texas A&M suspended QB Kenny Hill two games for “a violation of team rules and athletic department policies.” Wonder if that violation includes playing like crap for the past three games.

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#‎Michigan‬ & ‪#‎Florida‬ both won today.. Hope this isn’t a sign of the apocalypse.

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So did someone design those gray UCLA uniforms or did the blue and gold original colors just run in the laundry? ‪#‎UCLAVsAZ‬ ‪#‎ugly‬

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Florida, in fact, upset #11, Georgia.  Bulldog fans are now furious ‪#‎FireMuschamp‬ movement didn’t succeed before today. ‪

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Pittsburgh missed a 26 yard FG that would have beaten Duke at the end of regulation. The shocking thing to casual football fans. It would have been an upset.

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A new study indicates that chocolate may help people avoid memory loss as they age. Makes biological sense. Assume we’ve evolved not to forget eating really good chocolate.

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Cal vs Oregon State  starting the 4th quarter Saturday about 1030p Pacific time. Forget the east coast, these games are too late for many WEST coast fans to stay awake.

 

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The Lakers are 0-4.   Only good news for Los Angeles fans.  Unlike the Dodgers the team seems pretty sure not to be a disappointment in the playoffs.

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From T.C.  “According to baseball analysts, Madison Bumgarner won the World Series for the San Francisco Giants single-handedly. ‘Good to know,’ said Kobe Bryant.”

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Raining on a parade

November 1, 2014

Lots of happy ‪#‎SFGiants‬ fans were taking pictures in the rain at ‪#‎SFGiantsParade‬ Over-under on folks needing new cellphones today?

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So many people think newspapers are irrelevant these days. But wonder how many are saving screen shots of the SF Giants World Series victory for their children and grandchildren.

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SF mayor Ed Lee, speaking at a post-parade ceremony “Panda, you own the postseason.” And the SFGiants are thinking, “Great, you just maybe cost us another $10-20 million?”

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Great post parade line from Buster Posey to ‪#‎HunterPence‬ “See those cameras back there? That means live TV.” ‪#‎SFGiants‬

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The SF Giants used pictures from their last World Series Parade to advertise yesterday’s parade. If new manager Joe Maddon leads the Cubs to a title, they’ll need to find someone who’s an expert in reproducing cave paintings.

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Today, November 1. is “Day of the Dead.” This is a holiday in Mexico. Not the Michigan football homecoming.

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The Los Angeles Dodgers have 7 free agents. Hanley Ramirez,Chris Perez, Jamey Wright, Paul Maholm, Roberto Hernandez, Kevin Correia and Josh Beckett. “Gosh, I really really hope we can keep them” said no Dodgers fans

 

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Pablo Sandoval says he wants to remain a Giant, though the Red Sox are interested. So what will it take? Maybe $100 million over 5 years. And a copy of Boston’s weather report. (Freezing temperatures this weekend.)

 

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This would be funnier if it weren’t sad for the pilots. Still, euphemism of the year perhaps, Virgin Galactic’s SpaceShipTwo space tourism rocket crashing in Mojave desert. And Virgin Galactic reported it as an “in-flight anomaly.”

 

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Former Florida congressman Trey Radel, who pleaded guilty to cocaine possession in 2013, has had his criminal record expunged after completing “all conditions of his probation.” Expunged. Does this make him an honorary football player?

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If they gave away free candy at polling place would people make as much effort to vote as they do to trick or treat? ‪#‎Halloween‬ ‪#‎Electionday‬

 

How scary was this on Halloween? A senator spoke honestly in public: Mary Landrieu, asked why Obama has such low approval ratings in Louisiana. “I’ll be very, very honest with you. The South has not always been the friendliest place for African-Americans. It’s been a difficult time for the president to present himself in a very positive light as a leader.”

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