Posted tagged ‘CMA jokes’

Not so silent majority.

November 6, 2014

Mitch McConnell claims that after last night’s election “The Senate is going to go back to work and actually pass legislation.” And somewhere Ted Cruz is just giggling.

So how long until Mitch McConnell figures out that it is now his circus AND his monkeys? ‪#‎Election2014‬

Sounds like I posted too soon on the 2014 election fundraising emails ending. Just got the first asking for money for a recount. ‪#‎itneverends‬

Chris Christie says he will make a decision “sometime next year” on running for President. Well, not sure if he can beat Hillary Clinton. But Christie is proving to be her equal in being disingenuous.

You think it didn’t matter if you voted? Right now the candidates vying for the last seat on Palo Alto City Council, candidates with very different views and “slates”, are separated by about 30 votes. In a city of almost 60,000 people.

 

 

Alex Rodriguez reportedly paid a cousin $1 million to keep quiet about his PED use. Well, that money worked out to be as good a value as the last few years of A-Rod’s own Yankees contract.

Alfonso Soriano says he is retiring from major league baseball. Most fans are shocked. Soriano hadn’t ALREADY retired?

November 5 was  one of TWO National Doughnut Days. The other is the first Friday in June. Figures, not like Americans could stop at just one doughnut anything.

A small plane with the banner “Fire John Idzik!” circled the NY Jets’ practice field for a short time this morning. Then the plane was presumably intercepted by another plane.

 

Ah, the holiday season is upon us. A Nebraska woman was arrested and charged with two felonies for allegedly hitting a fellow Wal-Mart shopper with her PT Cruiser last weekend, because the person took her parking spot in the lot.

And no doubt many of these parents voted. A Louisville TV station is reporting a local teacher resigned when her Catholic school requested she take a precautionary 21-day leave AND produce a health note from her doctor, because parents raised concerns about her mission trip to Kenya. (Kenya is 3000 miles from West Africa)

So according to her attorney the mother of Adrian Peterson’s son is happy with the plea deal and doesn’t want his career to be harmed by the child abuse case. Well, yeah, if for no other reason than she wants her child support.

 

The CMA awards tonight pre-empted ABC’s comedy “Blackish.” And co-host Brad Paisley said “If you were looking for Black-ish tonight, yeah, this ain’t it. In the meantime, I hope you enjoy White-ish.” African Americans might have been offended. IF any of them had been watching the CMAs.

Mark Sanchez says he is excited about his first start for the Eagles, which will be on next week’s MNF. Many Americans are excited too, some to see the Panthers win big, some to see Sanchez lead Philadelphia to a big win, and most just hoping to see another butt fumble.

Newly elected Utah congresswoman Mia Love is a major rising star in the Republican party. with her anti-immigrant, anti-birthright citizenship and anti-welfare stances. The daughter of Haitian immigrants, however, also said in 2011, “My parents have always told me I was a miracle and our family’s ticket to America.” Love has also said her parents came on a tourist visa and stayed.

Makes sense she’s a GOP star. She’s proving a woman of color can be as much a hypocrite as a white man.

Advertisement

Stupor califragilisticexpialidocious

November 7, 2013

Toronto mayor Rob Ford’s numbers are up since he admitted to smoking crack “in a drunken stupor.” And somewhere Anthony Weiner is thinking “why didn’t I just say I sexted ‘in a drunken stupor’?”

 

Chase Harrison, who just turned 18, was elected to the school board in Millburn, NJ. Good for him. And he’s probably too young to do anything in a drunken stupor.

Blockbuster says they will close its 300 remaining U.S. stores by Jan 2014. Americas were shocked – Blockbuster still has stores?

All this talk about the Virginia governor’s race and what it means for Obama, the Tea Party, etc….. Going with the most obvious answer, isn’t it just possible that voters, especially women, simply disliked Terry McAuliffe a little bit less than his opponent?

Newly-elected Virginia Governor Terry McAuliffe has appointed a former Republican State Senator to his transition team. Makes sense. McAuliffe owes the GOP a big “thank you.” Had they not nominated Cuccinelli, Terry probably would never have been elected.

Amazing to hear the accusations that Jonathan Martin is “soft.” Especially since for his college career the man’s job was to protect the blindside of his QB – who might have been just a bit of a target – the QB was Andrew Luck.

Nice story for the evening. On Friday, Jonathan Moscone, 49, son of former SF Mayor George Moscone, will marry Darryl Carbonaro, 46. Somewhere both Moscone and Harvey Milk are smiling.

 

Tim McGraw joined 7 other country music stars on stage at the CMA’s to honor Taylor Swift, saying at one point she’d opened for all of them. It was an impressively large number… although far less than the number of ex-boyfriends she’s written songs about.

(Gib Worley asks “Didn’t she open for them too?”)

Starbucks says the company will hire 10,000 veterans and military spouse over the next five years. Figuring if people can handle Iraq and Afghanistan, they can handle some of these prima donnas who have such exacting requirements for their precious coffees?

A new line of Candy Crush actually candies is expanding and soon will be available in stores across America. I can see it now, “I’m not fat, I’m just at level 232.”

Why are all these men claiming that Jonathan Martin is partly to blame for being bullied? It’s about as unimaginable as claiming that a woman who is sexually harassed at work must be doing something to cause it….. Oops, never mind.

Just wondering, if Jonathan Martin had gotten angry enough to beat up Richie Incognito and put him on the Dolphins’ injury list, would many consider that a better response? #NationalThugLeague

Former Rutgers basketball coach Mike Rice, who says he’s changed, but “Now I have to sit back and take it, listen to people say I was abusing my players? I was an idiot, but I never abused anybody.” Uh, if he thinks that Rice is still an idiot, and he hasn’t changed much.