Posted tagged ‘Mitt Romney jokes’

Cha-cha-cha changes…..

January 18, 2012

Last week Jon Huntsman called Mitt Romney “unelectable” and “out-of-touch.” This week he endorsed him for President. I know Jon’s a Mormon but he changed his estimation faster than a man at a singles bar at closing time.

Passengers on a BA Miami to London flight were awakened at 300am by an automated message saying “This is an emergency announcement. We may shortly need to make an emergency landing on water.”

A a cabin crew member had pushed the wrong button. Wonder if the employee might be terminated. If so, they are likely to get a job offer from Costa Cruise Lines.

But come on, really? You try to delete spam or a pop-up ad sometimes and get the response “Are you really sure you want to delete this message,” Or “Are you really sure you want to navigate away from this page?” Doesn’t it seem like there should be a “Are you SURE you want to push this button?” message.


Dwight Howard has now apparently added the Clippers to his trade wish list. Wonder how long it will take Jack Nicholson to apply for season tickets.

Highly-rated QB prospect Gunner Kiel has enrolled at Notre Dame, after first committing to Indiana, and then LSU. Who’s Kiel’s role model? Brett Favre?

Celebrity chef Paula Deen announced she has Type 2 diabetes. For anyone who’s followed her cooking show or her books, there’s just one question – “What took so long?”

High school QB Gunner Kiel, rated #2 in the country, has now committed to three different colleges. Now, former top prospect Andrew Luck called his own plays. Don’t think this will happen with Kiel. Coaches will have to figure he’ll never decide what play to call.

Nick Montana, son of Joe, is transferring from the University of Washington to a junior college, in hopes of eventually finding another four year school where he can play more. And the BCS still says it’s all about protecting the “student-athletes.”

n Santa Rosa, California, a police sting caught 9 people driving away from the courthouse, out of 18 who had JUST been told by a judge not to drive. Along with the original charges will the police add enhancements for stupidity?

A final written tally of the Iowa caucus votes will be released Friday, and it turns out Rick Santorum may have actually beaten Mitt Romney. Who did the original counting? Rick Perry?

The SF Giants have signed Pablo Sandoval to a 3-year contract. The contract is guaranteed unless the Panda does anything dangerous, like motorcycling, mountain climbing, or getting within 50 feet of a Taco Bell.

Mitt Romney said today that he most of his income comes from investments (makes sense, since he’s been running for President for the last eight years) and currently pays taxes “close to the 15% rate.” 15%. Yeah, I can see why he thinks he needs a tax cut….

More Romney: In discussing his probable 15% tax rate, he said it is because he has mostly investment income, adding “I get speakers fees from time to time, but not very much.” Last year, Romney earned only $374,327.62 in speaking fees. Can’t imagine how Mitt gets the image of being out of touch.

A new PPP (Public Policy Polling) poll shows President Obama leading Mitt Romney 49-45. Now polls can vary but one interesting side note: Romney leads by 6 points with men, but Obama leads by 14 points with women. (Comments on this one especially encouraged.)

Was I good?

December 24, 2011

Well, I was cute. Now when can I expect some dinner.

President Obama has made it to Hawaii. Wonder if he remembered to get his Christmas wish into Santa first – more GOP debates.

A late shopping surge appears to be making this Christmas season a particularly good one for retailers. And that’s even without Kobe Bryant needing anymore to buy Vanessa jewelry.

Oops again, now it’s Newt Gingrich who failed to collect enough signatures (10,000) to appear on the Virginia primary ballot. And for the record, the Gingrich’s live in McLean (VA.)

Newt Gingrich was actually leading Mitt Romney in the Virginia polls before it was announced that he didn’t have the required signatures to get on the ballot. The Gingrich campaign said Virginia has a “failed system.” A “failed system?” Uh, you think you can fix perhaps the most complicated economy in the world, and you can’t count to 10,000?

Michele Bachmann was confronted by the gay robot “RoboProfessor” (yes, really, the robot exists) in Iowa Thursday. Bachmann took it in pretty good humor. But then, Michele’s already learned how to deal with straight robots. How many debates has she done that include Mitt Romney?

Down in Venezuela, former SF Giants and current Texas Rangers catcher Yorvit Torrealba struck a home plate umpire in the face during a game. Giants fans are shocked, they, alas, can’t remember Torrealba ever hitting anyone.


An Ohio man bought a unopened fruitcake from 1941 in an online auction for $525. The fruitcake may have had sentimental value, however, as it may have been the exact one he gave his aunt then for Christmas.


In college men’s basketball, #15 Pittsburgh lost to Wagner (who?) 59-54. Normally the Pitt Panthers don’t get embarrassed like this until the second or third round of the NCAA tournament.

Pat Robertson claimed that SNL’s Tim Tebow skit – IMHO maybe the funniest thing they’ve done this year – was “anti-Christian bigotry” and “disgusting.” Except that Tebow, who seems to have a sense of humor, hasn’t complained. And who can say God doesn’t have a sense of humor – for example, armadillos.

On the second or third night of Hannukkah, and two days after the Winter Solstice, and on Christmas Eve, this all-purpose wish – “Happy Whatever it is You Celebrate!”

Liars and jokers and clowns, oh my….

December 21, 2011

Mitt Romney is slowly picking up endorsements from GOP leaders, presumably who are all singing under their breath – “Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right, here I am, stuck in the middle with you.”

Actor Tom Cruise told People magazine today that “Every day I fall more in love,” with wife Katie Holmes. Who says platonic marriages don’t work?

Former American Idol runner-up David Archuleta has announced he is taking a break from his singing career to go on a two-year Mormon mission. This news surprised many music fans, who didn’t realize Archuleta still had a singing career.

Just how stupid do they think Americans are getting? Got a nice gift of two bottles of wine in a box this Christmas. The description tag says “No refrigeration required.”

As part of the Ohio State sanctions, former coach Jim Tressel, was hit with a five-year “show-cause” order (meaning a school will need to “show cause” why they hire him and face sanctions if they do.) You know what that means, look for Tressel to follow Pete Carroll to the NFL.

The NCAA sanctions for Ohio State apparently include a bowl ban for 2012. Actually a more appropriate punishmanent might have been – allow the team to play but ban them from receiving ANY memorabilia.

Congratulations to the Stanford women’s basketball team, who knocked off Tennessee tonight 97-80. But kudos also to Tennessee coach Pat Summitt, 59, who is still coaching after a diagnosis of early onset dementia, and is putting a brave and public face on a very nasty disease.

The U.S. House decided to leave for their holiday break, without even voting on the payroll tax cut extension. Hmm, with most Americans if we don’t do our jobs before vacation, we don’t get paid, or we get fired when we come back.

John Boehner apparently asked President Obama to order the Senate to appoint negotiators to work out a compromise with the House on a payroll tax-cut extension. Is this a budget battle or a NFL/NBA type lockout?

Bipartisan rant: Not that it will ever happen, but while we’re in the season of wish lists, could we outlaw this stupid procedure of putting stuff in Congressional bills that have nothing to do with the bill itself? (Not talking about ways to pay for the bill, but stuff like pipelines, various pork, etc. And yes, both parties have been guilty of this.)

These clowns are making the NBA players and owners look mature.

A twisted thought from T.C. regarding Big Ben’s sore foot – “Rex Ryan volunteered to take a look at it.”

Gary Johnson announced he is dropping out of the GOP Presidential primary, and will run instead for the Libertarian nomination. The number one response of most Americans – “Who the heck is Gary Johnson?”

Reunions and separations.

December 17, 2011

Brian Wilson is reuniting with the Beach Boys for a 50th anniversary tour. No doubt a featured hit will be “Help Me Rhonda, I’ve Fallen and I Can’t Get Up.”

(Or “Fun, Fun, Fun until my kids and the DMV take my T-bird away.”)

Upon reflection on Vanessa Bryant’s filing for divorce,, two questions emerge. 1. Did Kobe get room service anywhere lately? 2. Did Vanessa just find out about Callista Gingrich’s $500,000 line of credit at Tiffany’s?

Kobe and Vanessa are apparently sharing custody of their children. Wonder who gets custody of the jewelry.

Barry Bonds has been sentenced to 30 days house arrest, and 2 years probation. Well, makes sense, if they throw everyone who hasn’t been truthful about PEDs behind bars we’d need to build a lot more prisons.

Hamleys, London’s most famous toy store, has this Christmas eliminated its pink “girls” and blue “boys” floors, and has said they will no longer group toys by gender. Why do I think that if they were in the U.S. at least one GOP presidential candidate would accuse them of violating the Constitution.

Just wondering, did former Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney bet anyone $10,000 on the Patriots-Broncos game?

Ron Paul said on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno that, while he is 76, his “ideas are young.” Well, not as young as Mitt Romney’s, since he’s only had his current ideas for a four or five years max.

And Ron Paul, while he has some odd ideas, is certainly different from most of the other GOP candidates. For starters, his sentences have nouns, subjects, verbs….

The Canadian Transportation Agency has said that Canadian Airlines (Air Canada and WestJet) must either ban cats on flights with allergic passengers, or else provide cat-free buffer zones and effective ventilation. Could they do the same for folks who wear too much perfume, don’t bathe, or spend the flight talking loudly nonstop?

Mitt Romney, who once worked for a health-care consulting company, told an audience today that until he got into government, he didn’t understand the difference between Medicaid and Medicare. Is Mitt trying now to appeal to Rick Perry voters?

Top four ESPN.com headlines Friday were about the Penn State trial, Bonds’ sentencing, the Bears cutting Hurd after his drug dealing arrest, and the NFL upholding Harrison’s suspension. I’ll tell you, even as a pro-choice woman who isn’t very religious, listening to Tebow’s thanking his “Lord and Savior Jesus Christ” is sounding pretty good by comparison.

Britney Spears, 30, is now engaged to be married for the third time. Wonder if that means when she gets tired of singing, Spears is planning a career in national GOP politics.

Newt Gingrich STILL maintains that the $1.6 million he got from Freddie Mac was simply for giving advice as a historian. We could only wish. If that were the going rate, history professors on college campuses would be richer than football coaches.

It must be the holiday season. The House passed an emergency $1 trillion budget bill by a bipartisan 296-121 vote. These days I wouldn’t have thought you could get a 296-121 vote to pass a resolution saying “Merry Christmas.”


Let’s hope Mike McQueary finally told the truth today about that shower incident back in 2002. But one question I’d like to ask Mike – “You saw that, you told people, and yet Sandusky remained around campus and you know nothing happened. Didn’t you ever feel that maybe you should have gone to the police?

In Cincinnati, Saturday night’s all right for fighting.

December 11, 2011

After a major game-ending basketball brawl with the University of Cincinnati, Xavier’s star guard, Tu Holloway, whose trash talking helped instigate the whole mess, talked about it being a rivalry game and how Xavier’s motto was “zip ’em up.” Uh, Tu, what you REALLY should have zipped was your mouth.

Cincinnati’s Yancy Gates, who threw a serious punch, is almost certainly going to be suspended and could even be dismissed from the team. On the other hand, with that kind of size (6’9″, 260 lbs,) and hitting, Yates could be offered a job with the Bengals.

When the question of whether marital fidelity should influence voters’ choice for President, Newt Gingrich responded “I’ve said I made mistakes.” He then added that since he is now a 68-year-old grandfather, it might be time to move on. Got it. So we should elect Newt now that he is too old to cheat on his third wife?

Regarding Cavaliers’ owner Dan Gilbert’s comment about 25 teams being the Washington Generals, the Washington Wizards are offended. They ASPIRE to be the Washington Generals.

Mitt Romney proposed a $10,000 bet with Rick Perry as to whether or not he backed individual healthcare mandates. And then denied that a 10k bet meant he was out of touch. Well maybe. But what happened to that Mormon prohibition against gambling?


Jim Mora has been hired to coach UCLA’s football team. Well, with a lifetime 31-33 record in the NFL between the Seahawks and Falcons, Mora seems like the right guy to lead the Bruins back to the Kraft Fight Hunger Bowl again in 2012.

NL MVP Ryan Braun just tested positive for a PED. You have to think that Barry Bonds is shaking his head and smiling.

Silver lining of Braun’s failed drug test? The SF Giants can point to their 2011 offense and say they were clearly the most performance-enhancing-drug-free group of hitters in baseball.

The most disappointed fans about Braun’s potential failed drug test? Those who had Prince Fielder in the pool.

MLB has officially reinstated Manny Ramirez from the voluntary retirement list. Although any team taking a chance on signing him is probably doing the baseball equivalent of marrying a Kardashian – it’s exciting at first, it’s a lot of media attention, and it will probably blow up in your face.


Not that I am a Romney fan, but now that Gingrich is at least the temporary front-runner….well, there’s something amusing about a man being accused of being a flip-flopper by another man who’s been married three times.

Congratulations to Robert Griffin III on his Heisman, even though, admittedly biased, I would have voted for Andrew Luck. But here’s the remarkable sidebar -both Luck and Griffin are excellent students, Luck an Academic All-American, Griffin, Dean’s List, and both are heading to the NFL with actual degrees.

The latest Grate-ing debate.

November 23, 2011

If Mitt Romney becomes the Republican Presidential nominee Madame Tussaud’s will face one of their biggest challenges ever –How to create a wax figure of a wax figure.

And tonight, in trying to come up with a witty response to Wolf Blitzer’s introduction of himself that including “And yes, my real name is Wolf,” the former Massachusetts governor stated “”I’m Mitt Romney and yes, Wolf, that’s also my first name.”

Except that Romney’s first name is “Willard.”

Great, the guy wants to be Commander in Chief and he couldn’t even get through an airport TSA inspection with a ticket that matched his legal name.

Meanwhile, Herman Cain referred to Wolf Blitzer as “Blitz.” Could have been worse though, with the approaching holiday season Cain could have referred to him as “Blitzen.” (And at least Herman didn’t ask where Donner was.)

Newt Gingrich is now saying we should get rid of child labor laws, and put underprivileged children to work in paying jobs. Is he running to be President, or Ambassador to China?

Michele Bachmann said this morning that 70% of GOP voters are still undecided about their choice for the 2012 Republican nomination, which could be a boon for her. Except the problem for her and others is that 70% of voters wish someone, anyone, else was running.

Rush Limbaugh says Michelle Obama is “uppity,” because she’s trying to tell parents she knows what to feed their children. Well, judging by obesity figures, a lot of Americans DON’T know what to feed their children. (Including, perhaps, Rush’s parents?)

Ohio State says if the NCAA doesn’t prohibit them from going, the Buckeyes will accept a bowl bid. Actually, if the NCAA wants an appropriate punishment, they should let OSU go, but forbid the players from accepting ANY swag.

Brigham Young has apparently broken off talks to join the Big East. What, did someone do something drastic? Like show the University president a map?

Over 20 students in the Great Neck, New York area, have been implicated in a scandal involving college students being paid to take SAT tests for kids in high school. The most shocking thing? Apparently no football or basketball players were involved.


So it looks like there are a number of potential victims in Florida who were looking to improve their figures. They now allege that a woman posing as a doctor injected their buttocks with a combination of tire-sealant, cement and superglue. Uh, folks, the only way superglue helps your figure is by using it on your refrigerator door.

Newt Gingrich advocated a softer stand on immigration than his fellow GOP candidates. Was Newt just trying to be the voice of reason? Or besides his affairs does he have illegal employees in his past? (Or an affair with an illegal immigrant?)

Although they didn’t win, Rob Kardashian and Cheryl Burke earned a perfect score on DWTS last night. Well, good to see that this year at least one Kardashian has managed a harmonious relationship with a new partner.

From Gary Bachman: The Black Eyed Peas deny rumors they are breaking up. If they do break up, would they be called the Split Peas?

Send in the Clowns.

November 12, 2011

Ironically, Rick Perry’s only being able to remember two of the three Departments he wanted to cut may end up benefiting… Newt Gingrich? A man who so far has forgotten two of the three times he said that “death do us part” stuff.

A new book “Election 2012: The Battle Begins” says that Newt Gingrich’s current wife, Callista, didn’t want him to run for President. But he bought her off with a cruise and over $1 million in Tiffany’s jewelry. Guess Newt has learned, it was cheaper than alimony.

In Montague, Michigan, city officials declared challenger Kevin Erb, 32, the new mayor, after they determined that the votes for winning incumbent Henry Roesler Jr., 84. don’t officially count. Since Roesler died a week before the election. Makes no sense. A lack of signs of life hasn’t hurt Mitt Romney in the polls yet.

Herman Cain was joking yesterday about Anita Hill endorsing him. Not to say Cain doesn’t get it but what’s next? Asking Letterman if he can come on with his “Top Ten Pickup Lines?

Cain was actually hinting Friday that he thinks he might be Romney’s running mate. And well, Herman does have something Mitt doesn’t have – a discernable pulse.

Congratuations to Rick Perry. How many people thought just a month or two ago that it would be possible to take the title away from Michele Bachmann as the dimmest bulb in the race.?


Meanwhile, some pundits are commenting on Obama’s apparent lack of a re-election campaign strategy. But actually the President has what he thinks is a very effective plan – “regular GOP debates.”

Regarding Joe Paterno, it seems quite plausible that he is a man who has done much good in his life, but made one unforgivable moral mistake. Before we say that negates Joe Pa’s entire legacy, Americans should remember Ted Kennedy.

TMZ reports that a Los Angeles school is in denial mode after a former porn legend, Sasha Grey, read children’s books to first graders last week. Apparently some parents complained. One question, how did they recognize the name?

In the Pac 12, Stanford’s goal is to continue what they hope will be a BCS bowl run by beating Oregon. In the SEC, LSU and Alabama hope to continue their BCS bowl runs by beating Western Kentucky and Mississippi State. (And scoring a touchdown or two while they’re at it.)

After last week’s 9-6 LSU Alabama snoozefest, you expect students to show up with signs this weekend “Occupy the End Zone.”

Pre-game thought: Most people who expect Oregon to beat Stanford figure it will be because of the Ducks’ speed. But the Cardinal plays on grass, it’s been raining much of Friday, and have to think coach David Shaw has told the grounds crew to turn on the sprinklers tonight.

Double-speak or nothing?

October 19, 2011

As Rick Perry and Mitt Romney took shots at each other in tonight’s CNN debates, how many people joined me in wanting to see a post-debate hard handshake and backslap etc….?

The next major GOP debate will be November 15,on foreign policy. Comedy writers across the country are already preparing for an all-nighter.

Herman Cain says he can “feel the bulls-eye on his back” before- tonight’s debate. Is he sure he’s not just feeling a sticker for “Two for one pizza?”

Herman Cain also said he was joking about an electric fence on the border. Okay, fine. Only now he says “I don’t like to offend anyone…however, I don’t apologize for using a combination of a fence. And it might be electrified.”” Allegedly Cain got a message from Joe Biden “Herman, really, less is more.”

Newt Gingrich said, if nominated, he will challenge President Obama to seven three-hour debates. Joe Biden is now just praying Newt gets the V.P. nod.

So at the price of two first-round draft picks, Carlson Palmer is now an Oakland Raider and is now “un-retired.” And yes, Brett Favre, that does mean you are chopped liver.

Carlson Palmer has now officially been traded from the Bengals to the Raiders. Which means a bit of a change. He’s going from convicts in the huddle to convicts in the stands.

Have a college reunion party Friday night with a “Mad Men” theme. Which has prompted a long “What do we wear?” thread on Facebook. And of all the commenters, exactly zero are men.

San Francisco is considering a bill to give employers a tax-break for hiring ex-felons. Who came up with this idea in the first place? The management of the Cincinnati Bengals?


The NFL has announced they will not fine Jim Harbaugh and Jim Schwartz for their post-game behavior. The league may, however, offer coverage of both coaches’ next post-game handshakes on Pay-Per-View.

Poor Steve Young, When the cameras switched to him during the pregame show on MNF, he had his cellphone in hand checking email. Well, the pictures are embarrassing, but it could be worse, at least his hand was just on his cellphone.

Rick Santorum said last week that the GOP’s strategy for reducing “the Democratic advantage” should be get the single mothers in this country married, because now “they look to the government for help.” Of course if that were really a priority wouldn’t you think the solution would include birth control? And for that matter gay marriage?

P.C. overdose alert: Four U.S. senators are urging the MLB players union to agree to a ban on chewing tobacco at games and on camera during the World Series, because they think it is a bad influence on viewers. Now, I hate chewing tobacco and wouldn’t mind a permanent ban in future. But after over 170 games, how fair is it to make players go cold turkey in the biggest games of the year?

My friend Walt points out that Congress won’t condemn crotch-grabbing, because they do it all the time. (Yes, and not always their own.)

Games people play.

October 14, 2011

Herman Cain is now the GOP Presidential frontrunner?! But let’s be fair. With the love and affection most Republicans feel for Romney, Stephen Colbert could announce his candidacy tomorrow, and vault over Mitt in the polls by next week.

Anita Perry on her husband Rick: “He is the only true conservative – well, there are some true conservatives. And they’re there for good reasons. And they may feel like God called them too. But I truly feel like we are here for that purpose.” Gosh, listening to Anita, it sounds like she’d fit right in if she herself decided to join the GOP field running for President.

So now there are rumors Herman Cain stole his 9-9-9 tax plan from the video game SimCity. Big deal, for years there have been rumors that Mitt Romney stole his style from one of his granddaughters’ Ken dolls.


Not even Al Davis’s death put him on the cover of Sports Illustrated. But Al would probably have approved. Wouldn’t want anyone to jinx his Raiders.

Hank Williams Jr. is trying to shop his “All My Rowdy Friends” song to other networks. Maybe he should try to shop it to the Red Sox for their clubhouse.


NBA Commissioner David Stern says that the labor dispute is now threatening Christmas games. The potential horror. Millions of families may be actually forced to talk to each other.

Tough times for Mitt Romney. It’s not just that he’s losing to “None of the Above.” But “None of the Above” has a higher likability rating.


Got to love it. True story. Guy trying to get into Red Carpet Club at LAX because he is in First Class. Agent says, sorry, we only give access to non-members when they are flying First Class internationally, not Domestic. Guy, indignantly. “But I’m going to Hawaii.”

Blackberry’s president has apologized for the outages that have gone on since Monday. Of course most of his customers won’t get the message until at least next week

One of those rare serious thoughts: The House passed another anti-abortion bill today. Now, abortion is a tough subject and I realize reasonable people can disagree. But I would respect a lot of the anti-abortion types more if they weren’t also usually in favor of cutting funding for programs for poor women and their living children.

Waxed?

October 12, 2011

Just a thought, if Mitt Romney ever actually does win the Presidency… Fully expect Madame Tussaud’s to throw up their hands and say “Sorry, there is no way we can compete with reality here.”

This thought inspired by a conversation with my friend Steven Harmon: If Admiral Stockdale was alive he would look at the GOP candidates on the debate stand tonight and ask “Who are they, what are they doing here?”

Like Chris Christie, Rudy Giuliani just announced he was not running for President. Unlike Christie, no one had asked Giuliani to run anyway.

New Jersey Governor Chris Christie did endorse Romney Tuesday. Wonder if any editor will run this headline today “Christie throws weight behind Romney.”

Herman Cain said before tonight’s GOP debate that he was going to take on Mitt Romney but added “I’m not going after Perry. I don’t need to go after Perry.” Translation, nothing I can add will be as damaging as what comes out of Rick Perry’s mouth.

Herman Cain, who has become a darling of the Tea Party, also said “If you don’t have a job and you’re not rich, blame yourself.” Uh, doesn’t that mean Obama’s off the hook?

Lebron James is now talking about taking his talents to the NFL. Wait until someone tells him they also play four quarters.

Theo Epstein is apparently about to bolt Boston for the Chicago Cubs. Well, now that he’s married with children it makes sense. The job comes with Octobers off.

South Carolina quarterback Stephen Garcia has been dismissed from the team, after his fifth suspension. – this one due to his allegedly testing positive for marijuana and alcohol. Wonder how long until Garcia gets asked to work out for the Cincinnati Bengals.

From Gary M. – Had Dr. Seuss chronicled the Broncos Sunday, he would’ve told us that Tebow got to play because: Orton Hears a Boo.

Open note to all those ESPN types who were basically predicting a Texas ALCS sweep: If you guys paid any attention to teams beyond the Yankees and Red Sox, you might have noticed that a- Texas isn’t as good on the road, and b- Detroit has a pretty good team, including that Fister guy they picked up from Seattle….

ESPN is advertising their first “Countdown to the BCS” Sunday night. Which will be, about HALFWAY through the college football season, the current rankings for BCS bowl games. Not sure of the order of the top teams at this point, but sure of one thing, anyone who makes this appointment TV is in serious need of a life.

Tim Tebow apparently will be named the Broncos starter for their game after the bye week. Does this mean that God wants Tebow to be the Denver QB? Or does He/She really want to see Andrew Luck in a Broncos uniform?

Decisions, decisions.

September 5, 2011

A new L.A. Times poll shows that Rick Perry and Mitt Romney each have 22 % support in a survey of 1,508 registered California Republicans. Ron Paul has 11 %, Michele Bachman has 10%, and Newt Gingrich has 6%. If my math is still any good that means “None of the above” is still leading at 29%.


Give Sarah Palin credit. In her latest speech she not only went after President Obama, but also her Republican rivals. Palin ripped their continual fundraising, calling it “corporate crony capitalism.” And for more details, she suggested that listeners buy her books.


Before Sarah Palin’s speech in Iowa, comedian Eric Golub talked about Palin’s son Trig, adding “the left should worship Sarah Palin and adopt her as one of their own. Because the leftist haters are an entire political ideology of special needs children.” Now, I’m usually anything but PC, but can you imagine the GOP reaction if anyone had made a joke like that about “rightist haters” before a Democrat’s speech?

Any SF Giants fans who have forgotten what scoring looks like should have tuned in ESPN Sunday night baseball, Tigers against White Sox. Detroit got 18 runs. 16 of them by the sixth.


It wasn’t so much the weekend as the weeks before that made all the games “must wins.” If T.S. Eliot were a Giants fan this year he would have said “August was the cruelest month.”

Mitt Romney is the son of a Governor, a former Governor himself, and so far an unsuccessful candidate for the U.S. Senate (1994) and the Presidency (2008). Yet in a Tea Party speech he called himself an “outsider.” Outside of what? The realm of plausibility?

Before Sarah Palin’s speech in Iowa, comedian Eric Golub talked about Palin’s son Trig, adding “the left should worship Sarah Palin and adopt her as one of their own,”Because the leftist haters are an entire political ideology of special needs children.” Now, I’m usually anything but PC, but can you imagine the GOP reaction if anyone had made a joke like that about “rightist haters” before a Democrat’s speech?


The SF 49ers signed rookie quarterback Scott Tolzien off waivers from San Diego today. Is this part of new coach Jim Harbaugh’s potential ABS strategy? (Anyone But Smith?)


There are increasing rumors that Chris Christie might jump into the pool of GOP Presidential candidates. Talk about a potential tidal wave.


Dick Cheney said Sunday that if Hillary Clinton were in the White House, “perhaps she might have been easier for some of us who are critics of the president to work with.” Of course, some would say that if Cheney hadn’t been in the White House, Obama would have had fewer problems to work with.


From T.C. A Chinese group is negotiating to buy the Dodgers. Gone will be Dodger Dogs and Budweiser, to be replaced with Dodger Dim Sum and Tsingtao Beer. The new mascot will be named Ping Pong Panda.


It’s only fair in some ways that a Chinese group buys the Dodgers. We’ve been buying junk from China for years.

Hair raising?

August 16, 2011

Texas Governor Rick Perry today dismissed comparisons between himself and W. But his response to what the biggest difference between the two was -“I went to Texas A&M. He went to Yale.” At least he didn’t say “I have better hair.”

(This answer does mean potential fun in the debates if Mitt Romney is involved. Mitt spent a year at Stanford before transferring to BYU, and has a JD and MBA from Harvard.)

Jim Thome might have made the quietest entry yet into the 600 home run club. Of course, he committed a cardinal sin as far as the media is concerned – Thome never signed a free-agent contract with the Yankees.

The IRS says a 40 year old woman is facing charges that she obtained obtained fraudulent Social Security numbers for at least 19 non-existent children.

The agency became suspicious when they noticed her last name was neither Gosselin nor Suleman.

There are reports that the NCAA is investigating University of Miami over claims that more than a dozen former or current football players received gifts and services from a convicted Ponzi schemer. In Miami’s defense, the school may claim they were just trying to prove they were worthy of an offer to join the SEC.


So let’s see, last Sunday the NASCAR race at Watkins Glen was postponed until Monday, and a number of no-names battled it out for the PGA Golf Tournament title.

Television executives now know what they felt like on Wall Street last week.

Commie pinko stuff below, including a quote.

A preacher from a Central Florida mega-church was found dead in his hotel room in New York, and there are newspaper reports that cocaine was found in the room.

This was the same preacher who divorced his wife two years ago over an affair with a stripper.

And the reaction no doubt from some right-wingers who call themselves Christian – at least he wasn’t gay.



Multi-millionaire GOP candidate Mitt Romney denied that that he was out of touch with the American people. Then when asked what he thought of President Obama’s bus tour, Romney replied, “What’s a bus?”

Many people have posted the whole op-ed, I just like this one simple quote: “I have worked with investors for 60 years and I have yet to see anyone – not even when capital gains rates were 39.9 percent in 1976-77 – shy away from a sensible investment because of the tax rate on the potential gain.” Warren Buffett.

(I am waiting for the first GOP candidate to go after Buffett on this one.)