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Seeing Eye Conference…

November 8, 2009

Once again, a SEC officials blew a call in a high profile football game. And once again, that blown call went in favor of an undefeated team. In this case Alabama, who beat LSU 25-14. (The call in question. an LSU cornerback who lost an interception when he was incorrectly ruled out of bounds.) In other conferences, some are speculating that it’s part of a SEC plot to make sure one of their teams stays undefeated, and thus can play in the Championship game.

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Besides “Seeing Eye Conference,’, other potential new names…

Severely Egregious Calls?

Seemingly Endless Conspiracies.

Simply Expecting Championships.

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But to be fair, the SEC is taking action. Coaches who complain about the officiating are now being fined

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Meanwhile, Stanford upset number 8 Oregon, 51 to 42. Thanks to Coach Harbaugh’s “hold them to six touchdowns” strategy.

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Meanwhile in Cincinnati, the undefeated Bearcats beat Connecticut 47-45. And sophomore backup quarterback Zach Collaros threw for 480 yards. Yes, 480. To put that in perspective, Oakland Raiders quarterback JaMarcus Russell has thrown for 1000 yards. For the year.

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Joseph Cao, a freshman Republican from New Orleans, was the only congressman to cross party lines and vote for the health care bill. It might be the first time in recent memory where a Louisiana politician made headlines, without the police or a sex scandal being involved.

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A post World Series thought from Bill Littlejohn about A-Rod’s paintings of himself hanging above his bed; guess he wants to be sure he is always the centaur of attention.

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Headline? Giants avoid high anxiety with Lincecum.

November 7, 2009

Good news for San Francisco fans. Giants pitcher Tim Lincecum will apparently not be disciplined by Major League Baseball for his marijuana arrest.

He pled guilty to possession of drug paraphenalia, without admitted he actually used the pipe. Which actually makes sense, possession not proving use. The SF Giants lineup in 2009 all were given a full supply of bats.

And as to those who say he was driving impaired… Let’s see, he was doing 74 in a 60mph zone. If he were really stoned, he would have been driving 15 mph. With one hand in a bag of Doritos.

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One thing you won’t probably hear in from Lincecum in an interview in future – “Put that in your pipe and smoke it.”

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Presumably Lincecum will be a little more careful or at least discreet in future. Wonder if his mound music will be “Last Dance with Mary Jane.”

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Today Manny Ramirez chose not to become a free agent and exercised his $20 million option with the Dodgers for 2010. As if that’s a surprise. Even the Yankees said “No thanks, we won’t waste the money.”

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Paying Manny Ramirez $20 millions after a year where he missed 50 games with a drug suspension, and performed mediocrely during the rest of the season and the postseason…. That’s got to be the most irritating money Dodgers owner Frank McCourt will pay ever out…well, until his divorce settlement.

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Republicans are criticizing President Obama’s decision not to attend the commemoration of the 20th anniversary of the fall of the Berlin Wall in Germany. And Newt Gingrich went so far as to say, “Some consider it an outrage, I consider it a tragedy.”

As opposed to the outrage and tragedy Gringrich would have said it was to jet off to Europe for a ceremony while the healthcare debate rages on and unemployment topped 10 percent.

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President Obama talked about his daughter Melia in a recent speech on education, and cited one of her test scores of 73. And George W. Bush called his father and said “When you were president why didn’t you ever brag about me like that?”

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A South Korean woman finally passed the written exam for a driver’s license on her 950th time. And millions of people around the world had the same reaction, “please don’t let her move to my street.”

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This last almost completely written by Marc Ragovin. Completely tacky. Wish I had first thought of the concept.

This World Series celebration did nothing to tone down A-Rod’s ego -now he really thinks of himself as a American hero. Especially since like Captain Sully, he finished the day in the Hudson.

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Baseball…beyond the World Series.

November 6, 2009

With the Yankees winning in six games, the World Series was finally completed November 5. The good news for Cubs’ fans. It’s less time to wait until “next year.”

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Giants pitcher Tim Lincecum was apparently caught smoking marijuana. This is the most shocking news since Adam Lambert announced he was gay.

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Does the arrest make Lincecum the acknowledged master of the high strike?

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Joe Giraldi wore number 27 as Yankees manager because he made it a goal to win the team’s 27th championship. This doesn’t always work out so easily. But it explains why Leo Durocher managing the Cubs always wore number 2.

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Yankees fans will tell you that the team won not because of money, but because of good management, team chemistry, hard work….. Yes, and the 65 year old men sitting in the box seats with 25 year old women will tell you the gals are with them because of their sparkling personalities.

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The Yankees’ victory parade will be November 13. Moving Bud Selig just a little closer to his goal of combining it with the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade.

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They expect record crowds to line the streets, mostly because most New Yorkers no longer have jobs to go to as an alternative.

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At least the parade will be free, which means it will also be the first chance most New Yorkers will have this year to see the team in person.

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Sometimes no punchline will do a story justice. The following is an AP story reported at sfgate.com link included to show I am not making it up.

An Ohio man dressed as a Breathalyzer test for Halloween found himself blowing into one after police stopped him for allegedly driving the wrong way without headlights on a one-way street. Oxford police said they stopped 20-year-old James P. Miller on Halloween night and found beer in his front seat and in the trunk.

Police said Miller blew 0.158 percent on a Breathalyzer test. He was cited on charges including operating a vehicle while intoxicated, underage possession of alcohol, having an open container and a fake ID, and a one-way street violation.

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As she kicked off her Senate campaign, Carly Fiorina criticized Washington by saying ‘What is it they are doing with all our money?” Funny, that’s the same thing shareholders said when she was in charge of HP.

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World Series question of the night..

November 5, 2009

“The New York Yankees, you’ve just won the World Series, what are you going to do now?”
“We’re going to buy Disneyland.”

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By the way, for all Yankees fans gloating about their well-managed and well designed team, a few stats:

Counting their 11 post season wins, the Yankees won 114 games. With a payroll of $208 million.

The Minnesota Twins won 87 games with a payroll of $67 million.

Heck, if we’re talking value the Pittsburgh Pirates won 62 games with a payroll of $25 million.

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And nothing against Hidecki Matsui, who is a great hitter. But it doesn’t dispel a team’s mercenary image with hardcore baseball fans when your World Series MVP is a $13 million a year pure DH (Designated Hitter) who in his seventh year with the team still doesn’t even speak English.

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L.A. pitcher Vincente Padilla apparently had a hunting accident and shot himself in the leg. As opposed that big bucks two-year deal for Manny Ramirez, which was the Dodgers shooting themselves in the foot..

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This inspired by Paul Seaburn who noted that “police in Tamarac, Florida, are looking for a man who has robbed the same bank four times in the past year”

The only folks who rob a bank that regularly are usually that bank’s executives

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The new Dallas Football Classic Bowl game, which will replace the Cotton Bowl, will kickoff on New Year’s Day 2011. The inaugural game, which will probably remain one of the first of the day, will feature the seventh-place team from the Big 12 against the sixth-placed team from the Big Ten. Seventh-place vs. sixth place – now there’s a reason to get up early with a hangover.

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Carly Fioriana just announced her campaign for the Senate in California. Which is great news. For Barbara Boxer.

Of course she’s about innovation. And in her speech promised “No new taxes.” Now there’s a fresh idea. And nothing could go wrong there.

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Sarah Palin campaigned hard for Conservative candidate Doug Hoffman in the heavily Republican 23rd Congressional district in New York. And she has since received countless invitations to campaign in 2010 for more Republicans. From Democrats.

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Note to frustrated sports fans everywhere. It could be worse. You could be a Maple Leafs fan. (If you are a Maple Leafs fan, skip this one.)

Their record through 13 games – 1-7-5. Thats one win, seven regular losses, and five additional overtime losses.

And commie pinko alert.

Following the defeat of a law allowing gay marriage in Maine. Maybe we’re going about this the wrong way. Maybe the way to pass gay marriage is to say “Why should gay couples get a free ride, they can declare as partners without the legal hassles, tax penalties, possible divorce issues, that hetrosexual couples face. Let’s REQUIRE that they get married for partner benefits.”

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Bye weeks.. ….

November 4, 2009

Washington Redskins owner Dan Snyder was actually cheered Monday. It was at an event for the Redskins’ charitable foundation that helps renovate high school fields, which was attended by students and parents. Finally, a group that appreciates the Redskins’ level of football.

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The Oakland Raiders have a bye week. Finally some good news for their fans.

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It’s the first week of the season where JaMarcus Russell can safely predict he won’t throw a single interception.

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The Oakland Raiders fired Lane Kiffin last year during their bye week. Now during their 2009 bye, coach Tom Cable is on the hot seat following more assault allegations. If Oakland fires him in the next few days we may have to start referring to it as a “Bye Bye Week.”

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Jon Gosselin says now of his bad recent public behavior that he “lost his moral compass.” Surprising many Americans who didn’t realize he had one.

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Not to say that the Phillies bullpen has been shaky in the last three games of the World Series. But they’ve collectively been named honorary Mets.

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David Beckham will now still play part-time for the L.A Galaxy, and but be “loaned” part-time to AC Milan. All so he can win a World Cup Championship with England. Interesting concept, if it works, whatever happens in the Series, the Yankees may be interested in a 2010 part-time loan for Chase Utley.

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Kobe Bryant played tonight for the Lakers against the Thunder despite flu like symptoms. Apparently neither team was worried about H1N1 – figuring, it’s Kobe, he never passes on anything.

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All the talk about “referendums” with these elections this week in Virginia, New Jersey and New York. Yes, I suppose they could be taken as referendums on President Obama or Sarah Palin. They also could be considered voters making a simple choice as to which candidate they disliked the least.

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Between Halloween and the Day of the Dead

November 3, 2009

Yesterday, November 1, was the “Day of the Dead.” (a big holiday in Mexico.) But here in the U.S. the day was celebrated by giving the Buccaneers and the Redskins the day off.

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President Obama personally helped pass out candy at the White House on Halloween. The Republican headline – “Obama actions lead to childhood obesity.”

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How could you tell the Republican parents who brought their kids to the White House? They had masks on too….it was the only way they could go out in public to accept a government handout.

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After dodging an indictment for allegedly breaking an assistant coach’s jaw, Raiders coach Tom Cable is now being accused of having hit both his ex-wife and ex-girlfriend. Poor Oakland, first the Bay Bridge, now another big problem with a Cable snapping.

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The Wall Street Journal editorialized that the current healthcare legislation is “the worst bill ever.” A title they previously conferred on President Clinton.

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Walmart is now selling coffins. No word as to whether the display is next to the gun aisle or the candy and snack food department.

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The coffins are an interesting choice giving the store’s slogan. “Save money, Live better.”

Does this mean their new slogan will be “Save money, Die better too?” – or “Save Money, even if you don’t live?” Or more likely “Save money, and now your heirs live better.”

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Apparently President Obama has now urged Afghan President Hamid Karzai “to write a new chapter” in his government’s legitimacy. Uh, wouldn’t that be the first such chapter?

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A few thoughts from both sides of the pond…

November 1, 2009

An actual quote as reported in London’s Sunday Telegraph from an Iranian pilot, when a Iran Air plane was returning to Tehran due to mechanical issues. (The plane did make it and landed safely)

“The plane is facing a technical problem and has to return. So please pray,”

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Where are the Brits when we need them for comments on Amiercan pop culture? (Paris Hilton, the Kardashian sisters, just for starters). British novelist Martin Amis on British glamorous model/personaliity, Jordan (who now wants to be known as Katie Price ” She has no waist, no arse (ass) an interesting face, but all we are really worshipping is two bags of silicone.

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And last week London played host to the New England Patriots and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Now they’re back to a normal state of affairs, ie, no professional NFL team in town. Sort of like Detroit.
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World Series television ratings are the highest they have been in years. Makes sense, millions of Yankees fans all over the country and only a few hundred who can actually afford to see a game in person.

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House minority leader John Boehner said Republicans have the answers to lower health costs and expanded coverage. If they have the answers, why did they ignore the question when they controlled the Presidency and both houses of Congress?

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David Plouffe said on “Meet the Press” that Democrats should thank John McCain for picking Sarah Palin. Oh, they do. Just not half as much as wannabe comedy writers.

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Entertainment Weekly ran a list of the 20 scariest movies of all time. Just in time for Halloween. And for any Redskins or Buccaneers fans who were missing watching game highlights because both teams had bye-weeks.

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Nothing against Brett Favre’s performance back at Lambeau Field against his old team. But looking at the Vikings’ and Packers’ respective lineups, especially on defense, and, well, had Favre stayed in Green Bay and Rodgers been drafted by Minnesota… the final score might not have been much different.

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Scary thoughts….

October 31, 2009

One truly scary thought. How many women on Halloween think they look good in outfits where their heels are higher than their skirts are long…..

A fashion police corollary. Another way to decide about skirt length. The length in inches should probably be a bigger number than your dress size.

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The only NFL blackout this week will be the Detroit Lions vs. the St. Louis Rams, two teams with a win between them. Even if the game would have sold out the league might have decided it was too scary for children.

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Joe Lieberman this week continued his quest to be the most hated member of the Democratic caucus in the Senate. First saying he might filibuster against the healthcare bill, then saying he may campaign for some Republican candidates. Many Democrats are hoping his next bipartisan act is a hunting trip with Dick Cheney.

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Sarah Palin is feuding publicly with the father of her grandson, Joe Lieberman seems to be trying to alienate every liberal and moderate in the country, and John Edwards is continually redefining the term sleazebag. Maybe we aren’t giving President Obama enough credit for picking a VP candidate who’s only as embarassing as Joe Biden.

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Apparently Dick Cheney has said he doesn’t remember who leaked Valerie Plames name back in 2004. Of course, judging by his recent comments, he doesnt remember who got us into Afghanistan and Iraq either.

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Minor league football and minor league attitudes….

October 30, 2009

Sports Illustrated has an article, Six signs that parity is dead in the NFL.

Do we really need an article?- Six signs – The Saints, Colts and Broncos. And the Titans, Rams and Buccaneers.

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And actually the UFL – the minor league mini-football league – is planning to expand in 2010. Maybe they could take the NFL Rams and Buccaneers, it would improve both leagues.

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Green Bay has renamed the town’s Minnesota Ave. to Aaron Rodgers Drive until after Sunday’s Vikings game. Have to wonder then, is the street currently known as “Brett Favre Pass” (really) been renamed Brett Favre Interception?

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Commissioner Bud Selig – MLB’s “Mr. Integrity” – is at it again, on the subject of Mark McGwire returning to baseball:

“Over the years I developed affection for players who I get to know and have been good, When he comes back, you’ll all have a lot of opportunities to talk to him. The fact that he’s coming back gives you an opportunity you wouldn’t have had.”

Yeah, you know I think I like the one from Pete Rose about not betting on baseball better.

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In California, Gavin Newsom has decided to exit the 2010 gubernatorial race.

His statement: “With a young family and responsibilities at City Hall, I have found it impossible to commit the time required to complete this effort the way it needs to – and should be – done,”

Most San Franciscans were shocked – Gavin realizes he has responsibilties at City Hall?

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Once again, you can’t make this up, again.

October 29, 2009

Apparently Jon Gosselin has agreed to star in a reality show in which he’ll date Octomom Nadya Suleman. Presumably there are some pre-conditions to be worked out first on both sides, like mandatory sterilization.

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Brett Favre has said about his return to Green Bay’s Lambeau Field Sunday that “I’ve heard boos in that stadium before.” Well, at least this time he won’t hear them for interceptions.

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The Washington redskins are banning fans from bringing home made signs from FedEx field under a general NFL principle that messages displayed on signs and clothing cannot be offensive.

Fans in return are wondering when the Redskins will start following the general NFL principle that the team on the field shouldn’t be offensive.

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A Philadelphia woman allegedly offered to trade sex for World Series tickets for herself and her husband. That’s a tough one for men – would you let your wife have sex with another man if you got Series tickets out of it? Well, at least that’s one worry Cubs fans don’t have..

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Sarah Palin continued her feud with Levi Johnston today, saying he has a “desperate need for attention.” She added that she will explain further on Twitter, on her Facebook page and during her upcoming book tour.

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Shaquille O’Neal just said that he and Zydrunas Ilgauskas are the “best centers in the NBA” Well, maybe for those playing the sports edition of Scrabble.

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SF Giants prospect Buster Posey was voted the Player of the Year amongst those who spent 2009 on minor league teams. Which must be a disappoinment for Ryan Zimmerman of the Washington Nationals.

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Swinging in the Rain…..

October 28, 2009

Actually, “Swinging in the Rain” could be the headline in Philadelphia papers after the Phillies 6-1 win.

As opposed to the headling in the New York papers “Swinging and missing in the rain.”

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Bud Selig defended his decision to extend the post-season at the request of Fox Sports, despite the lousy weather for many of the playoff series. If this keeps up, stay tuned in a few years for the MLB World Series -advent calendar.

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In World Series game one, Phillies pitcher Cliff Lee threw a game for the ages. In game two, Pedro Martinez hopes to throw one for the aged.

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Shocking new poll. 7 out of 10 Americans think Sarah Palin is not qualified to be President. That means 3 out of 10 actually think she is.

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Los Angeles Dodgers owner Frank McCourt has fired his estranged wife Jamie as the team’s chief executive, alleging that among other thing, she had an affair with her bodyguard. Maybe he’s just jealous that during the NLCS, Jamie may have scored more than the Dodgers.

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California gubernatorial candidate Meg Whitman skipped her fourth GOP debate tonight. Wonder why she would do that? Because, debates are considered to be important and a major factor in decision-making by most regular voters. Oops, never mind.

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A new season…

October 27, 2009

The NBA regular season started tonight. It seems like just a few short months ago that the playoffs ended. Probably because it WAS a few short months ago that the playoffs ended.

But to be fair, the NBA does have a long season. Almost as long as their playoffs.

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16 of 30 NBA teams will make the next year’s playoffs. And at least three or four of them actually have a chance of winning.

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As opposed to baseball, with a 162 game season, and at most 19 games of playoffs. It’s just that those 19 games seem to be spread out over as much time as the regular season.

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This could be the best day of the year for sports fans in Washington, D.C., The Wizards won their opening game against the Mavericks. It’s the first day anyone can remember that a team in town has a winning record.

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Congressman Alan Grayson apologized for calling a woman who works part-time as a lobbyist a “K Street whore.” He said he “did not intend to use a term that is often, and correctly, seen as disrespectful to women,” Which term, whore, or “K Streeter?”

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So if you aren’t afraid of flying already, here’s a scary thought. Just how many pilots haven’t been caught working on their laptops…?

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Former Indiana basketball coach Bob Knight has refused a $75,000 check from the University as a settlement offer in a suit stemming from his 2000 firing. Apparently he’s holding out for someone to throw out the first endowed chair.

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George W. Bush has embarked on a new career as a “motivational speaker.” Yeah, I suppose it could be considered “motivational” when just by replacing you, someone can win a Nobel Prize.
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Senator Joe Leiberman says he may filibuster against any healthcare bill with a public option because America can’t afford it. Bravely spoken by a man who has government paid healthcare for life.

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Awaiting the Winter Classic.

October 26, 2009

Yet another example of why we all love the Yankees….

C.C. Sabathia, after New York won the ALCS “It’s not really a surprise that we are here.

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Makes sense now that they are the Los Angeles Angels instead of the California Angels. More “E’s

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Questions of the day.

What’s more likely?

President Obama getting more than 1 or 2 Senate Republicans to vote for his healthcare bill.

or

The Washington Redskins winning another game this season?

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First Steve Phillips was fired for his latest affair with a young staffer, after basically leaving the Mets for the same reason. Now Bob Griese has been suspended for a stupid racial remark about NASCAR driver Juan Pablo Montoya. Is it time to change the network’s slogan to “Expect Something Puerile Nightly?”

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According to his publicist, fired ESPN analyst Steve Phillips has checked himself into a rehab center and is “not a sleazebag.” So what makes a man someone who “just needs help” and not a sleazebag? Apparently having the money for rehab.

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So the Northwest pilots’ latest excuse is that they were working on their laptops on “crew scheduling.” Wonder what “crew scheduling” is the code for – porn or “Freecell?”

And if they actually were distracted because the crew scheduling was complicated, what happens when they have to do something even more complicated. Like reading a 757’s instruction manual?

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The Pac 10 today suspended an official for missing a personal foul/face mask call in the USC-Oregon State game. After a OSU touchdown, USC safety Taylor Mays basically ripped the receiver’s helmet off. No word from the Trojans on any disciplinary action for Mays. Maybe the school’s initials should be UCS, University of Cheap Shots.

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Commie pinko thought of the night.

If government messes everything up and the public option is such a bad idea, how come we aren’t hearing about all the demonstrations from seniors who want to be released from Medicare?

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Baseball, the BCS and other rants…

October 26, 2009

So major league baseball plays a 162 game season, with often only two days off a month, to find the best and most durable teams. Then the league makes the first round of the playoffs three out of five, and schedule the rest of them so far apart that the Yankees and Angels have played eight games in the past twenty days. MLB is making the BCS look good.

Well, almost. BCS rant of the week. Okay, Alabama came a blocked field goal away from losing to a mediocre Tennessee team, and jumps to number 1? USC makes a big point of saying how they won’t get blindsided by lowly Oregon State, again, wins only by six points, and jumps from 7 to 4? And Florida doesn’t cover the spread against Mississippi State and stays at 2.

In the meantime Cincinnati with a backup quarterback knocks off Louisville by 38, and they end up falling three spots to 8.

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But yeah, we can’t have a playoff because a few extra weeks would adversely affect academics for the student athletes involved…. Right, which means the FSU players who tested at a second grade reading level would slip down to first?
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Speaking of student athletes- this Tweet was reported in the Los Angeles Times to have come from freshman UCLA football player, Randall Carroll, it was noted because of the racial slur directed against offensive coordinator Norman Chow.

“man oregon, stanford and cal should have been easy wins ,, but [expletive] thys [racial slur] norm chow dnt be trustin us ,, so it is what it is.”

Anyone really think two extra weeks of class here might make a difference? Not that UCLA is going to any major bowls anytime soon.

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“Paranormal” beat out “Saw VI” at the box office office in a battle of scary films. Although objectively speaking, the scariest film of the weekend was still probably the Raiders game tape.

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Raiders lineman Richard Seymour last week guaranteed that Oakland would make the playoffs this year. With all due respect, I’m not sure the Raiders would make the BCS rankings.

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A study conducted for League of American Voters last week said that almost 50 percent of those who watch Fox News regularly claim they are Democrats or independents. Translation, almost half of Fox viewers would never tell the truth to a “commie pinko” government survey.

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While driving towards towards the end zone for a potential winning touchdown late in the game, Brett Favre missed his receiver and the ball was intercepted and run back for a touchdown. Wonder if Favre and his offense had been having a “heated discussion” in the huddle?

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The two pilots who were unreachable for over an hour and flew past Minneapolis have been suspended. And they may lose their jobs. On the brighter side, they could be offered the chance to do promotional spots for Verizon – “Can you hear me now?”

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More Northwest.

October 25, 2009

Quote from the co-pilot on that wayward Northwest flight: “It was not a serious event, from a safety issue,”

Try that the next time a policeman pulls you over for a minor traffic violation.

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Once again, though, where is Steve Martin when you need him?. As the pilots keep dissembling about their excuse for not landing in Minneapolis the first time….maybe it’s time for that classic SNL skit about why he didn’t pay his taxes. “I FORGOT.”

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Napa police said they didn’t think they had enough evidence to get a conviction. And Tom Cable will apparently not be disciplined by the NFL for the incident that resulted in his ex-assistant Randy Hanson ending up with a broken jaw.

In the meantime, the league, ever vigilant, has fined Ocho Cinco $10,000 for last week’s game, when he wore the wrong color chin-strap.

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In the meantime, the NFL is trying to expand their fan base by having the New England Patriots and Tampa Bay Buccaneers play in London, England. The game will techniically be a home game for Tampa.

Commissioner Roger Goddell has stated he thinks the league could eventually put a franchise in London. If that’s the the plan, you think he might have sent another team than the 0-6 Bucs?

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Although to give Goddell credit, maybe he figures since English fans are used to low-scoring football (ie soccer) games, maybe the perfect team WOULD be the Buccaneers.

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Meanwhile, in the NHL, the Toronto Maple Leafs are off to their worst start in history with no wins, seven losses and a tie. 0-7-1.

Or as the Rams call that, something to aspire to.

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Stay tuned for Leafs management coming up with a list of things that are worse than kissing your sister.

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Speaking at a $400 a plate luncheon in Montreal, Canada, George W. Bush said that as president he “did not sell his soul.”

Many liberals would actually agree, since they never thought he had one.

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In the same speech, however, Bush said he did regret his appearance on that aircraft carrier in 2003 in front of that banner reading “Mission Impossible.”

Yes, he DID. Actually “Mission Impossible” would have been more accurate.

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America’s team?

October 24, 2009

If anyone doubts who the national media expects and wants in the World Series, check out this headline from SI.com -“An Angels win in Game 6 would likely limit CC Sabathia to two World Series starts.”

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So the Obama adminstration wants to limit salaries when corporations take government money. Since their new stadium used some public funds, we may have just found a way to rein in the Yankees.

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A woman gave birth on a flight over Malaysia. The airline, Air Asia, will give her and her son free flights for life. In the U.S. they would have charged her for an extra carry-on.

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The first explanation from the Northwest pilots who missed Minneapolis was that they were engaged in a “heated discussion” about airline policy. If so, what policy? The one that tells them to ask for directions? Or read a map? Or has the airline started charging pilots for their onboard happy hour?

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Stand by for more excuses for the pilots. Maybe they would have been better off saying they were distracted by a little boy flying past in a balloon.

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Some people cannot believe the two male pilots could be completely oblivious to all communications for an hour and 20 minutes. These people have clearly not observed enough men watching the second half of a close football game.

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And as mentioned yesterday, the indecision on landing in Minneapolis does suggest Brett Favre might have been involved. Since the plane overshot the airport by 150 miles, however, Bill Littlejohn suggests that the NFL player in the cockpit might have been JaMarcus Russell.

But had it been Russell, the FAA would have had no problem intercepting them.

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Mayumi Heene, the wife of “balloon boy” dad Richard Heene, now says the whole incident was a hoax. Her husband still maintains that he has been telling the truth. I don’t know about a reality show, but maybe they could compete with Jon and Kate on a new version of “Family Feud.”

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The Washington Redskins have announced Jim Zorn will remain their coach through the end of the season. Translation, they can’t find anyone else to take the job.

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Representative Alan Grayson of Florida recently referred to former Vice President Cheney as a “vampire.” The comment has earned Grayson a fair amount of criticism, but perhaps none angrier than from the Vampire Anti-Defamation League.

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A few weak jokes for a weak douchebag:

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So Steve Phillips, suspended from his job at ESPN because of a sex scandal with a 22 year old assistant, had to take a leave from his previous job with the Mets because of a sex scandal and a confession of “multiple affairs” there too.

Maybe he thought ESPN stood for Extramartial Sex Preferred Nightly?

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No word yet on if Steve will confess to multiple affairs at the network too. Though perhaps among the women who work in Bristol. a possible new topic of water cooler conversation is “Ever Seen Phillips Naked?

Yo, Steve, it’s PLAYS of the week. Not Player of the Week.

Kind of ironic though, ESPN is the network that at first refused to report on the rape allegations against Ben Roethlisberger.
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First Letterman with his production assistants, now Phillips with his production assistant. Wonder how many networks received a call today about potentially hosting a show from Bill Clinton?

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Yet more off days…

October 22, 2009

Due to television scheduling the Yankees-Angels had a day between games four and five, and now have another day between games five and six. This is certainly a record playoff year for “off days.” Including for the umpires.

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For what it’s worth, had New York won tonight, the World Series wouldn’t have started for six days. Which might have given Yankees fans enough time to take out mortgages to buy Series tickets.

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Yahoo has now apologized for using lap dancers to entertain male software developers and engineers in Taiwan last weekend during a “brainstorming meeting.” Yeah, was that really the brain they wanted to encourage the men to use?

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So after bypassing Minneapolis the first time, a Northwest Airlines jet made a U-turn and ended up landing there safely. Who was flying the plane – Brett Favre?

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A Northwest Airlines plane flying from San Diego overshot Minneapolis airport by 150 miles yesterday before the crew discovered their mistake and turned around. My question, do the passengers get 300 extra frequent flier miles?

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Maybe Dodgers fans should cut Manny Ramirez some slack for his weak performance in the NLCS. It’s tough to play with post-partum depression.

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Manny Ramirez not only finished the NLCS with a .263 batting average and only 2 RBIs, he had left the dugout was taking a shower during the Phillies comeback in game 4. Though as Bill Littlejohn says “Well, he was the cleanup hitter.”
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It has now been 21 years since the Dodgers got to the World Series. On a more positive note, the team issued a press release saying that by not needing a victory parade, they have cut down on their carbon footprint.

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California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger is trying to fast-track a potential new NFL stadium in Los Angeles in hopes of luring a franchise to the city. And he stated “A team does not have to necessarily come from a California city,” he said. “It can come from somewhere else, or it could be a new team that is created.”

Translation, not even Los Angeles wants the Raiders, 49ers or Chargers.

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For that matter, presumably Los Angeles doesn’t want the Rams back either.

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Listening to ESPN baseball analysts discuss Saturday’s Yankees-Angels game and claiming that a team’s history doesn’t make any difference to a current team of players who weren’t even there. Two words – Chicago Cubs.

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This last may not make sense to anyone under 40. But Soupy Sales died Thursday at the age of 83. Wonder if his tombstone will read “Fit to be Pied?”

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As we approach the World Series.

October 21, 2009

One question, we’ve already had sub-freezing weather in Denver, and games played in the low 40s in Philadelphia and New York. Maybe it’s time to rename the World Series the “Winter Classic?”

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With friends like these…

Ohio State receiver DeVier Posey is a good friend of embattled quarterback Terrelle Pryor. (Pryor committed four turnovers during the Buckeyes’ upset loss to Purdue.) Said Posey of Pryor – “He’s going to get better. He really can’t do much worse.”

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To be fair, Posey probably didn’t see Kerry Collins’ performance last weekend for the Tennessee Titans.

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Cedric Benson believes his ex-team, the Chicago Bears, did all they could to keep him from signing with Cincinnati by passing on negative information to the Bengals – presumably like his stats.

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The Southeastern Conference suspended the officiating crew from last weekend’s Arkansas-Florida game for at least three weeks. This after the crew blew their second major call this year. Is it too late to put the SEC in charge of Major League Baseball’s postseason?

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The Yankees are scoffing at allegations that closer Mariano Rivera has been cheating by throwing a spitball. A team spokesman said they intend to buy this World Series fair and square.

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After his ex-mistress, 22, started phoning his wife, ESPN analyst Steve Phillips called polce saying “I have extreme concerns about the health and safety of my kids and myself.” Somehow I don’t see this putting him in the finals for the “concerned father of the year award.

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ALCS and beyond..

October 20, 2009

It’s a close call. Who’s doing more sleepwalking through the ALCS. The Angels, or the umpires?

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On the other hand, the New York Yankees are making a strong case that they might be the best billion dollar team ever put together in baseball.

(And the billion dollars, no joke, when you add up the combined guaranteed contracts. $200 million is just this year…before the trade deadline)
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Tacky alert:

A-Rod seems to have rejuvenated his post-season career now that he is dating Kate Hudson. Wonder how many World Series the Yankees might have won had he earlier started dating Goldie Hawn instead of Madonna?

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Useless fact of the day: For all the pre-LCS talk about a Freeway Series, it is actually faster to get between Philadelphia and New York by train, than between Los Angeles and Anaheim by car.

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A Colorado toddler was denied insurance for being underweight. Which means without healthcare reform America will become a country with a whole underclass of uninsured supermodels.

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Actually if being underweight is a reason for current health insurance companies to deny insurance, this is a great way for Obama to get the men of America behind his reform plan – otherwise all the Victoria’s Secret Models and Playboy Bunnies will flee to Canada.

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The Obama adminstration has announced they will not go after medicinal marijuana users who are complying with state laws. So marijuana use will still be illegal, but in these cases the law won’t be enforced. Sort of like travelling in the NBA.

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Sarah Palin will be appearing on “Oprah” in November to promote her new book. Why the delay? Someone apparently told former Governor Palin that to promote a book you’re supposed to have written, you actually need to have read it.
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And the American Society of Reproductive Medicine (ASRM) has finally gotten around to expelling Dr Michael Kamrava, the “octo-doctor who was Nayda Suleman’s fertility specialist. They declined, however, to give an reason for his expulsion. Let’s see, he implanted six embroyos (two of which split) in an unwed, unemployed, 33 year old mother of six? What was the ASRM’s first clue?

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First in war, first in peace, and last in the National Football League…

October 20, 2009

The Washington Redskins are again facing controversy because some people feel that their nickname defames Native Americans. Of course, these days, the problem is that you can’t find an animal, a fictional character or even a color that would want to be associated with this team.

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Okay, technically the Washington Redskins don’t even have the worst record in the NFL. But they have attained their 2-4 record by playing six previously winless teams. So they get points for trying harder.

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Mike Shanahan apparently has turned down an offer to coach the Redskins. He figures if he moves to Washington he would like a less stressful job – like bringing peace to the Mideast.

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Weird NFL stat of the day: The Raiders, Browns AND Chiefs together haven’t scored as many points as the New Orleans Saints.

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What’s the difference between Obama’s healhcare reform bill and the Redskins? The bill has an actual chance of successfully passing.

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The Washington Redskins have relieved coach Jim Zorn of play-calling duties. This came as a shock to Redskins fans, who weren’t aware ANYONE was calling plays.

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Okay, let’s see a show of hands from anyone who predicted that the Philadelphia Philles would score more against the Dodgers on Sunday than the Eagles would against the Raiders…. (Phillies 11-Dodgers 0 – Raiders 13-Eagles 9)

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Ralph Nader now says Barack Obama is a “serious disappointment.” What, as opposed to the man who Nader’s own campaign helped elect in 2000 – George W. Bush?

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