Archive for August 2011

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Dead cat bounces?

August 11, 2011

A “dead cat bounce” (apologies to my cats) is a term used to describe a stock or stocks that crash, and bounce up briefly, but end up falling down again. Hence, they are dead cats and the bounce is an illusion.

So which on Tuesday will turn out to be the deader cat bounce. The stock market’s one-day rise of 430 points? Or the San Francisco Giants’ 6-0 win over Pittsburgh?

(Wednesday the market fell over 500 points and the Giants lost 9-2, to a Pittsburgh team that had lost 11 of 12, and to a pitcher on a four game losing streak.)

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My friend Rich opined that the Giants might need to “kick some asses.” With all due respect, these days if they tried to kick ass, the Giants would swing and miss.

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NBA players are scrambling for something to do during the lockout. Lebron James indicates he won’t play in Europe. Instead he might star in a remake of “Wedding Crashers.” At least that way Lebron will get close to some rings.

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Jacksonville Jaguars coach Jack Del Rio has announced he has now forbidden rookie hazing. I guess he figures playing in Jacksonville is punishment enough.

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Sometimes no punchline can top reality: Rex Grossman today predicted the Redskins would win the NFC East.

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The Toronto Blue Jays have been accused of stealing signs, allegedly with a man dressed in white in the outfield, waving his arms around to indicate the pitch.

Actually considering the records, lineups, and most importantly payrolls of the teams in front of the Jays, maybe the fan in white is just signifying surrender.

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Sarah Palin is relaunching her “One Nation” bus tour this week in Iowa in advance of the GOP straw poll. According to a fundraising solicitation for Sarah PAC, the bus is also scheduled to travel to the boyhood homes of Harry S. Truman and Ronald Reagan (Independence, MO and Dixon, IL). Which means the tour will quit somewhere in the middle of Missouri.

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Texas Governor Rick Perry told the Dallas Morning News that his alma mater, Texas A&M is considering moving to the SEC for football. Yeah, you can tell Perry is thinking of running for President, he’s focusing on the issues that are really important to Americans.

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Nigel Lythgoe, an executive producer for “American Idol” said today Jennifer Lopez will return to judge another season. Is this what they call a “behind” the scene report?

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Tiger Woods seems to be trying to avoid controversy these days. Wood said he texted Steve Williams to congratulate his former caddie on the win Sunday. Tiger would have avoided a lot more than controversy if he had just stuck to texting Williams in the first place..

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During the FAA impasse when airlines were not collecting the 7.5 percent U.S. domestic tax, our travel agency had exactly ONE client ask about getting the tax back for tickets he had booked in May for early August. This client is a multimillionaire. And some wonder how the rich stay rich.

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Grandmother of our Country?

August 10, 2011

Sarah Palin welcomed her second grandchild, a healthy little girl, born to son Track and wife Britta. Who were married May 21. It’s amazing the advances medicine has made in dealing with very premature babies.

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Actually, preemies appear to run in the family, as Track himself was born April 20, 1989, and Sarah and Todd eloped August 29, 1988.

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An Arizona man is recovering after police say he accidentally shot himself in the penis while putting his girlfriend’s gun in the waistband of his pants. Wow. Who would a thunk that Plaxico Burress might have dodged a bullet?

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The NY Daily News is reporting that MLB officials will soon meet with with Alex Rodriguez regarding his alleged involvement in high-stakes poker games. I’m not sure A-Rod gets it; apparently when the Yankees star was told he really needs to avoid bad situations and focus on baseball, he replied “Absolutely, I’m all in.”

Recently released records show former OSU football coach Jim Tressel made $21.7 million in 10 years as Buckeye coach, including $4.6 million directly from an exclusive deal the university had with Nike. Gosh, can’t imagine how those players ended up with the idea of selling memorabilia.

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I make no claims to understand the stock markets. But with all these GOP candidates blaming the markets big drop Monday on Obama, wonder why I haven’t heard a single one of them say his speech yesterday might have had something to do with Tuesday’s 420 point gain.

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Los Angeles businessman Alex Meruelo is going to buy the Atlanta Hawks, during the NBA lockout. Since he’s from Southern California, some wonder why he didn’t try to buy the Clippers. Responded Meruelo – I may be crazy, but not THAT crazy.

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Michele Bachmann’s latest promise – “I guarantee you the EPA (U.S. Environmental Protection Agency) will have doors locked and lights turned off.” Well, yeah, the EPA was proposed and signed into law by that noted liberal whacko President Richard Nixon.

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The winner of a video contest will get a chance to bat against Giants’ ace Tim Lincecum in spring training. The at-bat will be delayed until then because San Francisco doesn’t want the winner to embarrass the team’s other hitters.

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The San Francisco Giants scored a run in the fourth inning and the Pirates pitching coach comes out to the mound. Clearly this unusual event was cause for concern…

And when the team scored three runs in the eighth (two unearned), you had to wonder if the scoreboard operator remembered how to put a crooked number in the Giants column.

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From T.C. “All these riots and looting in London England – wtf are the Canucks fans doing there in the middle of the off season???

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Foreign exchange?

August 9, 2011

Lebron James says that despite the possibility of the lockout cancelling the entire NBA season, he is not considering offers to play internationally. Apparently he’s found out that foreign teams expect you to play all four quarters.

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And in the U.S., football fans are eagerly looking forward to the preseason starting on Thursday.

Meanwhile, up in Canada, Toronto Argonauts fans are saying “Any chance of moving that lockout up here, eh?”

(the Argos are 1-5, losers of five straight, and have been outscored 128-178.)

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San Francisco Giants manager Bruce Bochy says he used a hypnotist to break his habit of chewing tobacco. Good for him, but maybe next he could use the same hypnotist to break his players’ habit of swinging at pitches out of the strike zone?

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The Pittsburgh Pirates had lost ten games in a row before Monday night. Maybe the only way to turn the stock market skid around is to send in the San Francisco Giants.

(And open note here to fans of the Padres, Astros, Mariners, Dodgers etc. Fine by me to use any of these Giants jokes and substitute the team that is currently driving you crazy.)

Some supporters of Michele Bachmann think Newsweek deliberately chose a cover photo that made her ‘look crazy’? In response, Newsweek said that if they really intended to make Bachmann look crazy, they would have filled the cover with her quotes.

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Arnold Schwarzenegger apparently went biking Sunday in an “I SURVIVED MARIA” t-shirt. When they heard about it the Kennedy family allegedly said “Until now, a**hole.”

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Sunday night’s ESPN Game of the Week between the Red Sox and Yankees went four hours, and that’s BEFORE the game went into the 10th innings.

Why wouldn’t MLB try to enforce rules meant to keep the game moving along? Four hours is insane, and I don’t think I can remember seeing so many commercials during a regular season game. Oops, never mind.

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The weird world of investing. The S & P downgraded U.S. debt, so investors started fleeing the market for… Treasury bonds?!

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On the new Pan Am television show, ABC-Disney is trying for 1960’s realism, to a point. There will be no smoking by the flight attendants. No word on further nods to modernity will mean pilots drinking in the cockpit and ATC controllers napping in the control tower.

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Fallout from the SF Giants-Philadelphia Phillies brawl last Friday. The Phillies’ Shane Victorino was suspended three games. Further fallout from the Giants-Phillies brawl. Ramon Martinez and Eli Whiteside be fined and not suspended. As for Bruce Bochy, MLB figures having to play a .216 hitting catcher is punishment enough.

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Jorge Posada, batting .230, has been benched indefinitely as the Yankees catcher/DH. Giants fans are going – “A .230 hitting catcher? This year we can only dream.

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Federal airline ticket taxes are being collected again. And airlines have started rolling back last month’s fare increases, so the prices are likely to be the same. What a coincidence.

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Commie pinko time: S & P, the only ratings agency to downgrade U.S. credit rating, is owned by McGraw-Hill. The CEO of McGraw-Hill, Harold McGraw III, is a big Romney supporter and was part of W’s economic transition team. Coincidence?

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Great Scott?

August 8, 2011

Congratulations to Adam Scott on his PGA tour win today with Tiger’s old caddie, Steve Williams. What if a lot of the greatness wasn’t the man swinging the clubs, but the man holding the bag?

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As Berney pointed out could happen yesterday, this win means a bigger payout for Williams than for Woods.

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R.I.P. Mark Hatfield. He was a GOP Senator from Oregon for 30 years (1967-1997. But often took on his own party against the wars in Vietnam and the Persian Gulf. Hard to imagine someone crossing party lines like that today.

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South Carolina QB Stephen Garcia says he “contemplated giving myself a second shot,” by transferring to another school, after his FIFTH suspension at the university. But his teammates convinced him to stay. Another example of the football golden rule. If you have a golden arm, you don’t have to follow the rules.

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Apparently the AFA (American Family Association), the group that sponsored the Rick Perry’s prayer rally, is trying to lead a boycott of Home Depot for contributing to the pro-gay marriage campaign in New York. If I had a handy bone in my body this would get me shopping at Home Depot.

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An offhand thought about the controversy with Tony Bruno’s “illegal alien” comment about San Francisco Giants’ pitcher Ramon Ramirez – How would Bruno have reacted if a San Francisco writer or media type referred to him with a derogatory slur aimed at Italian-Americans?

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David Gergen said today on CNN.com that America needs another leader like Churchill. Maybe, but Churchill was probably both a racist and an alcoholic. He’d never make it through today’s opposition research and media gauntlets.

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Crazy times with the stock market on a roller coaster ride and the U.S. credit rating being downgraded. Fans of consistency can at least take comfort in the knowledge that this weekend both FOX’s MLB Game of the Week and ESPN’s Sunday night Baseball both feature the Red Sox-Yankees.

I am so not a NASCAR fan – but this statement by today’s Sprint winner Brad Keselowski – who drove with a broken leg – was pure class: “I’m no hero. The heroes are the guys that died in Afghanistan this weekend. I’m glad that we could win today, but those are the heroes. I just drive racecars for a living.”

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Deer in the spotlights?

August 7, 2011

So MLB has warned players against using a spray made from deer antlers. So how will they test for it? Play “Bambi” in the clubhouse and see who starts crying uncontrollably?

Justin Verlander of the Detroit Tigers is 16-5 in 2011 with a 2.30 ERA. With the San Francisco Giants he might be 9-11.

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Phrase I am getting REALLY REALLY tired of hearing on the SF Giants postgame show. “Fill-in-name-of-Giants-pitche​r pitched a great game and didn’t deserve to lose today.”

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Tiger Woods is 13 shots off the lead in his first tournament in months, and the current leader, Adam Scott, is using Steve Williams, the caddie Woods just fired.

If Scott wins, and even if he just comes close but way ahead of Tiger, I’d like to tip my hat to karma. For being a really impressive bitch.

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Brett Favre quashed rumors that he is considering returning to the NFL with the Miami Dolphins, saying he doesn’t have “any interest.” Translation, he is waiting for an offer from a better team.

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This week is the DEF CON convention in Las Vegas. It’s a 15,000-person gathering of computer hackers. Which answers the question – When do Vegas prostitutes take their vacations?

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The Yankees’ C.C. Sabathia has six losses this year, four to Boston. So wonder when C.C will call the Red Sox his daddy?

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Notre Dame coach Brian Kelly says he won’t pick his starting quarterback until 10 days before the season opener. Makes sense, that not only gives him time to watch the four contenders in practice, but also means his final choice will have less time to get suspended or arrested.

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Open note to Tony Bruno: I completely understand saying something stupid because you are angry -i.e. SF Giants mgr “Bochy is a coward for having his illegal alien pitcher hit a guy”

But saying “saying I apologize for my comments regarding illegal aliens,but I stand behind my comments that Bochy is a coward, People resorting to name calling are more classless and vile.” Uh,Tony, you could have had us at “I apologize.”

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Tiger Woods struggled again today while playing his first tournament in months. Beginning to wonder -what if illicit sex with random women WAS his performance enhancing drug?
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Texas Governor (and probable presidential candidate) Rick Perry spoke at a prayer meeting and said it was to “rally the nation to a Christian unity.” Now, it’s been a while since I studied history, but wasn’t the point for those on the Mayflower to set sail for religious freedom.

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San Francisco and Philadelphia are waiting for MLB to announce suspensions from last night’s brawl. One person involved who probably will escape suspension – Giants hitting coach Hensley Meulens. Because there hasn’t been any evidence he’s been doing anything lately anyway

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Pay for performance?

August 6, 2011

The U.S economy still sputters and our credit rating gets dropped to AA+. So when will all those in Congress who want to tie teacher pay to performance agree to make the same deal with their own salaries and results?

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The Senate passed a stop-gap bill to put furloughed FAA employees back to work. No word yet on if the bill includes funding for milk and cookies for controllers at naptime.
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Ohio State football players have been told to stop wearing wristbands saying “J.T.” in support of fired coach Jim Tressel. But really, the players’ regret at losing him is understandable. Many of them have had to take serious salary cuts.

So how weirdly 21st century is this real television ad? – “Fiber One 90 calorie brownies – In the granola bar aisle.”

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Listening to baseball commentators say about an umpire, “he’s got a good strike zone.” Well, I get what they mean, I think, but isn’t the rule book, not the umpire, supposed to determine the strike zone? (Yeah, we can dream, anyway.)

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From Bill Littlejohn: Baseball has sent a warning to its major and minor league players concerning steroid alternatives—-stop ingesting deer antler spray.Bud Selig reportedly said, ‘The Buck Stops Here'”

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Standard and Poor’s downgraded the U.S. credit rating from AAA to AA tonight. In related news, the IRS said that their announced plan to increase audits of ratings analysts was just a concidence.

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A-Rod is not talking about allegations that he was involved in illegal poker games. When will these guys learn? If you really want to do some high-stakes gambling, invest in the stock market.

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With the FAA funding mess, Donna Brazile accused House Republicans of “playing chicken with American jobs.” Not true replied the GOP. We’re only playing chicken with Obama’s job. The rest are just collateral damage.

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MLB sources are indicating A-Rod will not be suspended, despite the allegations of illegal poker games, along with continuing talk about his association with a Canadian doctor known to have prescribed HGH. Proving once again – the Yankees are basically MLB’s version of an SEC football team

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Shame that Eli Whiteside might get suspended for his part in tonight’s Giants-Phillies brawl. Best hitting game the Giants catcher has had all season.

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Trivial rant: Open up most packaged food and the contents fill up about 2/3 of the packaging. The only container that is filled to the absolute brim – microwaveable soups. (Not that anything could go wrong with a full plastic container of boiling liquid.)

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Liars, and cheaters, and frauds, oh my.

August 5, 2011

A-Rod’s publicist has issued a statement denying stories about the illegal poker games, adding Alex looks forward to “cooperating with Major League Baseball’s investigation.” Wonder what exonerating evidence there is, or does A-Rod just think he is holding pocket aces?

(or as my friend John Clark said, maybe he knows the cards are stacked in his favor.)

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The new NFL collective bargaining agreement now includes random testing for HGH. You know what that means? The players have found something better.

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So Bridgestone Invitational first-round leader Adam Scott, who shot a 62, is using Tiger Woods’ former caddie, Steve Williams. Woods is six strokes back. And how much would we give to see Woods and Scott paired together on Sunday.

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Priorities, priorites…. The stock market is falling, the debt ceiling deal is at best controversial, and three GOP Presidential contenders, Romney, Bachmann, and Santorum, have announced – they have signed another pledge against gay marriage.

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The mayor of Sunland Park, a New Mexico border town, is trying to get out of nine contracts with an architectural design firm, because he said he was drunk when he signed the contracts. Hmm, this might help explain some previously inexplicable actions of Congress.

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Kraft is going to split their company into two parts – groceries and snack foods. In other words, foods that are bad for you, and foods that are worse for you.

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Jerry Lewis has been abruptly dumped as spokesman and telethon host by the Muscular Dystrophy Association. I hear he wiped out at McDonalds too.

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Roseanne Barr said on the Tonight Show that she is running for President. Well, unlike some of her competition, Roseanne actually has experience as a professional comedian.

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A recent NY Times-CBS News poll showed 82 percent of Americans now disapprove of the way Congress is handling its job. Shocking! 18 percent actually approve?

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Stanford’s football team is ranked number six in the coaches’ preseason poll. To put that in terms USC Trojans can understand, that’s all the fingers on a hand plus one more.

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Two Fox News hosts now said they were joking yesterday when they claimed they felt awkward about commenting on former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin because she’s a fellow Fox employee. Translation, they were reminded they are ALSO Fox employees. For now.

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On Thursday the stock market fell faster than the Pirates’ playoff chances.

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Not a fan of conspiracy theories. But if our corporate masters wanted to schedule the biggest stock market drop of the year, wouldn’t it be a nice jab to put it on Barack Obama’s 50th birthday?

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From Marc Ragovin: So President Obama celebrated his birthday by blowing out the candles on his cake as the lights went out on the economy

Okay, I’ve figured out the economic gospel according to the GOP: When the stock market was at new highs this year, it was all about a cyclical recovery led by corporations, when it fell Thursday it was all Obama’s fault.

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Don’t bet on it.

August 4, 2011

Alex Rodriguez allegedly participated in illegal underground poker games, and MLB sources say he could face suspension. The Yankees are just hoping if so that the suspension is during the playoffs, since A-Rod seldom does much then anyway

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To make this potential scandal worse, Alex Rodriguez had already been warned in 2005 about gambling in underground poker clubs by the Yankees and Bud Selig. Looks like A-Rod may have thought it was double or nothing.

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Being “old-school” used to mean writing on paper. Now it means being addicted to using a keyboard instead of an iPad or iPhone.

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Anheiser-Busch is trying to revive week sales in the U.S. for its flagship brand Budweiser. Wednesday they unveiled a new design for their cans. Uh, how about trying something radical like trying to improve the beer?

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From T.C., with the signing of Plaxico Burress, the NY Giants have officially quashed their “Take No Prisoners” mantra.

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The San Francisco 49ers unveiled a plastic model of their proposed new stadium in Santa Clara. Makes sense, led by Alex Smith, the 49ers may be a pretty good plastic model of a football team.

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Since he was made an emergency starter April 28, Ryan Vogelsong is 9-1 with a league best 2.19 ERA for the San Francisco Giants. Just think, had the Giants given up on Barry Zito earlier, Vogelsong could be the leading candidate for the NL CY Young.

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Notwithstanding today’s 8-1 rout of the D’Backs, the Giants have been worrying their fans lately. Meanwhile, across the bay in Oakland, A’s fans have a response to put San Francisco’s woes in perspective. Four words – “Swept by the Mariners.

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Until today’s 8-1 win the Giants had never scored more than 6 runs in a game at home all year. Gary Morton said went looking for the game on TV this afternoon, saw the score, and figured he had accidentally tuned into the Sci-Fi channel.

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A peacock flew the coop from the Central Park Zoo and hung out on a FIfth Avenue apartment ledge for almost 24 hours. But the bird returned on his own this morning. Yeah, it’s tough to find good long-term subsidized housing in New York.

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Since Congress recessed without approving FAA funding, 4,000 FAA employees and 70,000 airport construction workers have been furloughed. Maybe we could have solved this sooner, along with the debt crisis, if we had put all members of Congress on a jumbo jet on some runway, and not let them off until they had a deal.

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Texas Gov. Rick Perry says he supports states’ right to allow gay marriage — but he also supports a constitutional amendment to ban it. What is it with folks like Perry, Mitt Romney and John Kerry? Their positions don’t last as long as their hair gel.

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In the midst of all the name-calling in D.C., Sarah Palin jumped in saying that if Tea-partiers were “domestic terrorists President Obama wouldn’t have a problem palling around with us. He didn’t have a problem palling around with Bill Ayers back in the day.” “Bill Ayers?” At this point? Does Sarah still have his name in Sharpie on her palm?

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Hitting the ceiling.

August 3, 2011

Congressional Black Caucus chair Emanuel Cleaver called the final debt ceiling deal a “sugar-coated Satan sandwich.”

Really? Doesn’t that title already belong to the Krispy Kreme Bacon Cheeseburger? (Yes, it is a burger using doughnuts as buns.)

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The San Francisco Giants have now lost five straight – Tuesday night 6 to 1- and haven’t scored four runs in over a week.

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Showtime is doing a series on the team called the Franchise.

Wonder how long it will take someone to do a movie on the Giants’ lineup? It will be a remake of “Eight Men Out.”
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(Or maybe “Eight Men Out” is the Jeopardy answer to the question. What usually happens when the Giants position players each have a turn at bat with runners in scoring position?)

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The San Francisco Giants seem to have accomplished the impossible. Take a weak hitting team, add two .300 hitters(Beltran and Keppinger), and start hitting…worse?

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Barry Zito is now back on the Disabled List for the San Francisco Giants. “Disabled?” Actually the NFL has a better list title for players in his condition: “Physically Unable to Perform.”

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Any truth to the rumors that as Congress left town they let out a collective cry of “Winning?!”

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Congress went right from the debt bill to summer recess. Without addressing the FAA issue which has resulted in domestic air taxes (and thus funding for air travel projects) lapsing. United Airlines celebrated today by raising international airfares $40.00. You’d think if Congress really wanted higher approval ratings they would get together on re-regulating the airlines.

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Meanwhile, Colorado Rep. Doug Lamborn apologized for calling President Obama a “tar baby.” and said he “absolutely intended no offense.” Really? With the term “tar baby?” This settles it. Lamborn is either a liar or an idiot.

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A New Jersey politician (who at least has been separated from his wife for two years) is under fire since nude pictures he sent to a woman he was flirting with online showed up on the internet. I think I can speak for all Americans in saying, “Thank heaven it wasn’t Chris Christie.”

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Rumor has it that both Kelsey Grammer and Alec Baldwin are both considering future runs for Mayor of New York City. Guess the strategy is, get your scandals out there BEFORE running for office.

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from Gary Morton:

After signing legislation to raise the debt ceiling, the President saw the stock market plunge 266 points. Guess they should have been working on the debt basement.

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The proposal.

August 2, 2011

I’m a little confused by this final debt ceiling proposal. Who gave who the final rose?

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Many Americans on both sides would say that we all ended up with plenty of… fertilizer.

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Watching ABC’s previews for “Bachelor Pad.” The perfect show for all those who think the “Bachelor/Bachelorette” is too emotionally restrained and classy.

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Jerry Lewis slammed the show “American Idol,” Saying the contestants are all “McDonalds Wipeouts.” Responded McDonalds Corp, “Who’s Jerry Lewis?”

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Oakland Athletics owner Lew Wolff, speaking in support of his friend Bud Selig, says that for the “good of baseball,” he hopes Frank McCourt will sell the Los Angeles Dodgers soon. Uh, actually, for the good of baseball, many people wish Wolff would sell the hapless As.

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A woman from Kansas is in stable condition after being accidentally run over by a Beach Patrol pickup truck while sunbathing on Daytona Beach. I see a new “safer alternative” advertising campaign for tanning salons.

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Saw the SI.com headline Monday “Bradshaw agrees to return to Giants.” You know you’ve heard too many Brett Favre stories when your first reaction is “Dear Gawd, not Terry too?”

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A joint effort with my comedy writer friend Jerry Perisho: “Jennifer Lopez talks about her marital trouble in Vanity Fair, but please still respect her privacy, ok?”

Like Sarah Palin calling news conferences to promote her documentary and asking the media to leave her family alone.

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Limelight-loving Randy Moss says he is retiring. Even Pete Rose is saying “I wouldn’t bet on it.”

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The New York Jets feel Plaxico Burress will be a positive addition this year Although while the wide receiver is talented, there were other issues -mostly attitude related – with the Giants before he ended up in prison.

If Burress ends up being more trouble than he is worth will other teams feel like they dodged a bullet?

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Rex Ryan said it was a “leap of faith” to sign Plaxico Burress. Well, at least he didn’t say it was a “shot in the dark.”

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Arizona Rep. Gabrielle Giffords has returned to the House floor for the first time since her shooting, casting her vote for the debt ceiling compromise. Apparently Giffords still has some trouble stringing coherent sentences together. This still, however, puts her ahead of many members of Congress.

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San Francisco is placing Barry Zito on the DL again. Nothing personal, but judging by his last few starts, most fans would say that “D” stands for “Disgusting.”
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Actually the only hope for Zito at this point may be to get pitching lessons from Gaylord Perry.

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“Down under” Tiger joke from Augie: Said Tiger, “This will allow me to keep my short strokes down under the minimum so I can get it in the hole easier.”

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Finally, Mitt Romney said Monday he opposes the debt ceiling deal. Which means in about a week he should be supporting it.

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Deadlines and more deadlines.

August 1, 2011

The Atlanta Braves lost their 10,000th game as a franchise this weekend. Not to be outdone, the Houston Astros showed at the trade deadline that they aspire to reach that mark this decade.

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Astros GM Ed Wade responded to criticism of the team’s trading away their best players by saying “It’s not a fire sale.” “Fire?” – More like a cremation sale.

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San Francisco Giants manager Bruce Bochy downplayed Miguel Tejada’s comments about returning from the DL as early as this week, saying “He’s still not able to move.”

Responded many regular Giants fans “And this is different from the rest of the season how?”

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From Gary Morton in Seattle: The US Postal Service is going to feature online previews of the stamps in its 2012 collection. That’s great news for insomniacs when the Mariners have a day off.

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Paul McCartney played two concerts this week at Wrigley Field. It’s the latest in the year fans at the stadium can remember seeing so many big hits.

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Watching the debt ceiling process kind of makes me wish Congress also had a trade deadline.

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A United Airlines plane had to divert briefly to Havana, Cuba, when the pilots noticed a burning smell on the plane. You could tell the hardcore frequent fliers on board. While many passengers wondered about being able to buy cigars, they were the ones calculating the extra mileage United owed them.

(The diversion appears to have been about an extra 100 miles)
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New research suggests that fatty foods may not just taste good, they may alter the brain’s response to sadness, thus literally serving as “comfort foods.”

I can see it now – Prescription Happy Meals.

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Not to say that President Obama surrendered on the debt ceiling deal. But he got a congratulatory phone call from France.

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So Plaxico Burress is now a member of the New York Jets. Well, he may not know the team’s playbook, but at least he’s familiar with the state’s penal code.
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Tiger Woods has announced he will play in this year’s Australian Open. Insert “Down under” joke here.

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Campaigning in Iowa, Newt Gingrich said President Obama has been “totally irresponsible.” And who would know totally irresponsible better than a man who left two sick wives for younger women.

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