I’m a little confused by this final debt ceiling proposal. Who gave who the final rose?
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Many Americans on both sides would say that we all ended up with plenty of… fertilizer.
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Watching ABC’s previews for “Bachelor Pad.” The perfect show for all those who think the “Bachelor/Bachelorette” is too emotionally restrained and classy.
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Jerry Lewis slammed the show “American Idol,” Saying the contestants are all “McDonalds Wipeouts.” Responded McDonalds Corp, “Who’s Jerry Lewis?”
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Oakland Athletics owner Lew Wolff, speaking in support of his friend Bud Selig, says that for the “good of baseball,” he hopes Frank McCourt will sell the Los Angeles Dodgers soon. Uh, actually, for the good of baseball, many people wish Wolff would sell the hapless As.
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A woman from Kansas is in stable condition after being accidentally run over by a Beach Patrol pickup truck while sunbathing on Daytona Beach. I see a new “safer alternative” advertising campaign for tanning salons.
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Saw the SI.com headline Monday “Bradshaw agrees to return to Giants.” You know you’ve heard too many Brett Favre stories when your first reaction is “Dear Gawd, not Terry too?”
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A joint effort with my comedy writer friend Jerry Perisho: “Jennifer Lopez talks about her marital trouble in Vanity Fair, but please still respect her privacy, ok?”
Like Sarah Palin calling news conferences to promote her documentary and asking the media to leave her family alone.
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Limelight-loving Randy Moss says he is retiring. Even Pete Rose is saying “I wouldn’t bet on it.”
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The New York Jets feel Plaxico Burress will be a positive addition this year Although while the wide receiver is talented, there were other issues -mostly attitude related – with the Giants before he ended up in prison.
If Burress ends up being more trouble than he is worth will other teams feel like they dodged a bullet?
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Rex Ryan said it was a “leap of faith” to sign Plaxico Burress. Well, at least he didn’t say it was a “shot in the dark.”
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Arizona Rep. Gabrielle Giffords has returned to the House floor for the first time since her shooting, casting her vote for the debt ceiling compromise. Apparently Giffords still has some trouble stringing coherent sentences together. This still, however, puts her ahead of many members of Congress.
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San Francisco is placing Barry Zito on the DL again. Nothing personal, but judging by his last few starts, most fans would say that “D” stands for “Disgusting.”
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Actually the only hope for Zito at this point may be to get pitching lessons from Gaylord Perry.
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“Down under” Tiger joke from Augie: Said Tiger, “This will allow me to keep my short strokes down under the minimum so I can get it in the hole easier.”
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Finally, Mitt Romney said Monday he opposes the debt ceiling deal. Which means in about a week he should be supporting it.