Liars, and cheaters, and frauds, oh my.

A-Rod’s publicist has issued a statement denying stories about the illegal poker games, adding Alex looks forward to “cooperating with Major League Baseball’s investigation.” Wonder what exonerating evidence there is, or does A-Rod just think he is holding pocket aces?

(or as my friend John Clark said, maybe he knows the cards are stacked in his favor.)

The new NFL collective bargaining agreement now includes random testing for HGH. You know what that means? The players have found something better.

So Bridgestone Invitational first-round leader Adam Scott, who shot a 62, is using Tiger Woods’ former caddie, Steve Williams. Woods is six strokes back. And how much would we give to see Woods and Scott paired together on Sunday.

Priorities, priorites…. The stock market is falling, the debt ceiling deal is at best controversial, and three GOP Presidential contenders, Romney, Bachmann, and Santorum, have announced – they have signed another pledge against gay marriage.

The mayor of Sunland Park, a New Mexico border town, is trying to get out of nine contracts with an architectural design firm, because he said he was drunk when he signed the contracts. Hmm, this might help explain some previously inexplicable actions of Congress.

Kraft is going to split their company into two parts – groceries and snack foods. In other words, foods that are bad for you, and foods that are worse for you.

Jerry Lewis has been abruptly dumped as spokesman and telethon host by the Muscular Dystrophy Association. I hear he wiped out at McDonalds too.

Roseanne Barr said on the Tonight Show that she is running for President. Well, unlike some of her competition, Roseanne actually has experience as a professional comedian.

A recent NY Times-CBS News poll showed 82 percent of Americans now disapprove of the way Congress is handling its job. Shocking! 18 percent actually approve?

Stanford’s football team is ranked number six in the coaches’ preseason poll. To put that in terms USC Trojans can understand, that’s all the fingers on a hand plus one more.

Two Fox News hosts now said they were joking yesterday when they claimed they felt awkward about commenting on former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin because she’s a fellow Fox employee. Translation, they were reminded they are ALSO Fox employees. For now.

On Thursday the stock market fell faster than the Pirates’ playoff chances.

Not a fan of conspiracy theories. But if our corporate masters wanted to schedule the biggest stock market drop of the year, wouldn’t it be a nice jab to put it on Barack Obama’s 50th birthday?

From Marc Ragovin: So President Obama celebrated his birthday by blowing out the candles on his cake as the lights went out on the economy

Okay, I’ve figured out the economic gospel according to the GOP: When the stock market was at new highs this year, it was all about a cyclical recovery led by corporations, when it fell Thursday it was all Obama’s fault.

Explore posts in the same categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized

Tags: , , , ,

You can comment below, or link to this permanent URL from your own site.

One Comment on “Liars, and cheaters, and frauds, oh my.”

  1. marc ragovin Says:

    Under a restructuring announced by Kraft Foods, it will retain ownership of some brands, like Oreos, while shareholders will now own other brands, like Velveeta. Leading company executives to ask: “Who cut the cheese?”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: