More half-baked thoughts…

Posted September 9, 2009 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: ,

Apologies to readers if these jokes are more half-baked than usual, writing this week on vacation, which means that many of them are written more half-asleep than usual.

–
William Del Biaggio, a Silicon Valley venture capitalist, and former part owner of the San Jose Sharks, has been sentenced to eight years in jail for fraud relating to his attempt to buy part of another NHL team, the Nashville Predators.

Eight years in jail. For the Predators?

–

Caster Semenya posed for a glamorous photo shoot in a South African magazine. Although the idea was controversial the stylists did a nice job, she looks almost as pretty as Ryan Seacrest.
–

Former Patriots defensive end Richard Seymour failed to report for a second day to Oakland after being traded to the Raiders. Apparently some of it has to do with under going post-trade testing. Well, I don’t know about the physical part but as to any psychological portion of the tests, I would say not wanting to show up to play in Oakland would indicated he should pass.

–

Virginia gubernatorial candidate Bob McDonnell’s campaign was thrown for a loop because of his recently revealed anti-women and homosexual statements. In fact, it might be the most self-inflicted damage a Republican has done lately with his pants on.

–
Sarah Palin, despite having never run a company and not completing her term as governor, nonetheless was given op-ed space in the Wall St Journal.

Isn’t that like Joe Biden writing something for a newsletter for mimes?

–

The San Francisco Giants top prospect Madison Bumgarner was a last minute call-up for an emergency start on Tuesday night. He said later he wasn’t nervous about facing major-league hitters, he just wished more of them were on the Giants.

–

Comments: Be the first to comment

Random thoughts from across the world.

Posted September 8, 2009 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: ,

In the end, Pacman Jones did not sign with the Winnipeg Blue Bombers. Apparently someone finally told him that the Mounties were real cops.

In President Obama’s speech to schoolchildren, he tells students that the key to success is to work hard and stay in school.

The Republican rebuttal, with an assist from reader Mark – the key to success is having rich parents who get tax cuts.

–
More nastiness today from Jon Gosselin about his soon to be ex-wife, saying that he now “despises” her. The working title for the rest of the season “Jon and Kate plus Hate.”

–
Sometimes, real life is weirder than any punchline or skit idea anyone can think up. Or maybe not, maybe this was an idea for a skit once. Now it is a restaurant chain in Asia. Modern Toilet. Chairs made out of toilet bowls, food served in mini-toilet bowls and urinals. The actual link is below.

http://www.moderntoilet.com.tw/en/about.asp

–
Another great one from Alex Kaseberg:

There is a new video game where you pretend to play Beatles songs on fake instruments. They got the idea from the career of The Monkees.

Comments: Be the first to comment

Labor day

Posted September 7, 2009 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized

The idea of celebrating Labor Day has to feel more than a little off for the millions of the Americans who are out of work. Sort of like celebrating Valentine’s Day at a Star Trek convention.

–

South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford says he is not resigning and intends to do “what God wanted me to do with my life”. Wouldn’t that have been a good idea to start doing before he went to Argentina?

–
Sign in a McDonalds in Seoul Airport. “Everyday create your most delicious happiness” Doesnt that start by not going to Mcdonalds.

–
The SF Giants hit into their first triple play in 11 years. This was particularly shocking because Giants fans didn’t realize their team could put two men on base at once.

The current issue of Sports Illustrated has a little purple circle, on their COVER, containing the number four with a slash through it. Around the circle are the words “100 % Favre-Free Issue”

Well, maybe until they put that circle on the cover…

Comments: 1 Comment

Headline heaven

Posted September 6, 2009 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized

So how good is it for headline writers in the San Francisco Bay Area?

The SF Giants have just picked up a pitcher by the name of Penny.

And the Stanford Cardinal’s starting quarterback is a kid by the name of Luck…

–
And former USC quarterback John David Booty was cut by the Vikings.

Which means, of course, he’s waiting for another team to give him a Booty call.

–
After a disappointing 2008 season, Notre Dame won their first game of the year over Nevada, 35-0. When asked about the impressive win, coach Charlie Weis said “These guys are hungry, a lot of it has to do with hunger.” Yeah, and a lot of it has to do with playing Nevada.”

–
How stocked are the SF Giants with pitching? Besides Matt Cain, a hard-luck 13 and 4 with a 2.51 ERA… by the numbers, they have three Cy Young winners (Zito, Lincecum, Johnson), one guy who threw a no-hitter (Sanchez) , and two guys who dated Alyssa Milano (Zito and Penny)

–
I apologize if this offends anyone, but, too hard to resist. San Diego Chargers star Shawne Merriman was arrested and charged with choking his girlfriend. Which is shocking. Usually the only choking the Chargers do is on the field.

Comments: Be the first to comment

Biblical updates..

Posted September 5, 2009 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: , ,

Apparently a modernized New International Version of the Bible is due out in 2011. While the idea is to make the Bible more accessible to younger people, I am not sure how I feel about “And God changed Adam’s status to ‘in a relationship.'”

–
Brett Favre is currently doing a Wrangler’s commercial, with the tag line “When I think of value, I think of Wrangler, always have.” Stand by for next week, when Favre makes his first appearance for Levis.

–
Oregon running back LeGarrette Blount was suspended for the year for punching a Boise State player who taunted him after the game Thursday night. On a brighter note, he might be offered a tryout with the San Francisco Giants, who are getting desperate looking for ANYONE who can hit.

–
Forbes just published a little of the world’s happiest cities. The only American city on the list. San Francisco. Let’s see, 49ers, Giants, As, Raiders, Warriors… Pretty obvious the study wasn’t co-sponsored by Sports Illustrated.

–
Ohio State paid $1 million to Navy to play the Buckeyes in their season opener. It was the first meeting between the teams since 1931. And Ohio State escaped with a four point win on an interception of a potential game-tying two point conversion. The Buckeyes plan to invite the Midshipmen back again, in about another 78 years.
–

Let’s see, paying $1 million almost to be embarrassed on national television. For that amount couldn’t Ohio State have come up with more of a sure thing, like playing the Detroit Lions?

–
A $1 million payment to Navy to almost be embarrassed on national television. Suddenly the Pentagon looks like responsible spenders.

–
So Heisman winner Sam Bradford turned down millions in the NFL this year to return to Oklahoma. He was injured in the first game of the year, will be out indefinitely, and the Sooners were upset by BYU. The happiest people outside Utah? Anyone on the 49ers involved in negotiations with Michael Crabtree.
–
–
Republicans are up in arms over President Obama’s plan to speak to the nation’s schoolchildren Tuesday, because they feel that somehow the speech encourage the children to become Democrats. They would have far preferred Vice President Biden say a “few words,” as they feel that would have helped the children become Republicans.

–

Comments: Be the first to comment

Brett Favre and other babies….

Posted September 5, 2009 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: , ,

In a Walmart earlier this week, a man was accused of slapping a crying whining child. I didn’t even know Michael Crabtree shopped at Walmart.

–

The Duggars family are expecting their 19th child next March. All 18 of their children have names starting with J. For the next one, may I suggest “Just-say-no.”?

Or as the very funny Alex Kaseberg suggests “Jeez-are-you-kidding?”

–
Apparently all the Duggars love to watch “Jon and Kate plus Eight.” Their children are fascinated by small families.

–
Brett Favre won’t play in the pre-season final game for the Vikings against the Cowboys. Which gives him time to film his latest commercial – a solo version of the Miller Lite classic “Tastes great, less filling.”

–
Whatever else happens this weekend, the Vikings need to keep Favre away from the over 500 store “Mall of America.” If he goes in to look for a present for someone, he could be gone for days.

–
Who says size matters? Pedro Martinez and Tim Lincecum allowed only 3 runs in 15 innings between them Thursday night. And the two of them together weigh less than Shaquille ONeal.

(heck, the two of them together might weigh less than C.C. Sabathia.)

–
Although, not to take anything away from the Hall of Fame career of Pedro Martinez, but surely any great pitching performance this year against the Giants’ lineup REALLY deserves an asterisk.

–
–

And this is tacky, but….
–
Monica Lewinski turned 36 this summer. Which means she is a little more than half way to sixty nine, which is exactly what happened with her and Bill.

Comments: Be the first to comment

Let’s hear it for mercenaries.

Posted September 3, 2009 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: , , ,

The following respectfully submitted as possible headlines. After the SF Giants’ $100,000 September rental, Brad Penny, pitched 8 shutout innings and got the win against the Phillies.

(for all those not baseball obsessed, because Penny was waived/cut by the Red Sox, who are paying most of his multi-million dollar salary, and no one picked him up originally, the Giants only have to pay him the major league minimum for the rest of the season, which is actually under $100,000.)

Anyway, the headlines:

So far, worth every Penny.

Who says there’s no value in a Penny?

Not such a bad Penny.

Giants benefit from a Penny saved.

of course, if he loses his next three starts, these all change.

–

Mark Sanford, once again considering himself unjustly persecuted, is now comparing the ethics attacks on him with those made on Sarah Palin. At least he didn’t refer to Sarah as his “soulmate.”
–

Curt Schilling, with absolutely no political experience whatsoever, has announced he is interested in Ted Kennedy’s former Senate seat. I believe the correct response is “Put a bloody sock in it.”

–
You have to wonder, why would Schilling want to join the Senate? Maybe because watching their performance over the past few years, it’s one group where he can be sure that no one is taking anything performance enhancing?

–

The SF Giants have changed their minds and decided to promote Buster Posey. Guess they figure he can’t do any worse than the minor league hitters they already have in their lineup.

–
In Brazil, as part of an effort to conserve water, the government has started a campaign to ask people to urinate in the shower. And in the U.S., millions of men have just declared themselves conservationists.
–

commie pinko joke alert.

Former Monteal Canadiens coach Jacque Demers, a self-described former functional illiterate, has been appointed to the Canadian Senate. Big deal, down in the U.S., we elected a functional illiterate President.

Comments: Be the first to comment

Prejean, Pacman, the Pac 10 and other problems…

Posted September 2, 2009 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: , , ,

USC cornerback Shareece Wright has been ruled academically ineligible for the entire 2009 season. That’s a real shame, said absolutely no one outside of Los Angeles.

–
USC cornerback Shareece Wright is academically ineligible for the 2009 season. This follows the team’s starting fullback Stanley Havili being unable to play in last year’s Rose Bowl for academic reasons, and backup quarterback Mitch Mustain having eligibility issues earlier this year. Now we know what USC really means – Usually Skipping Class.

Rumor has it that the class Wright failed was a close call. He took underwater basketweaving and almost drowned.

–
The fifth-place (out of six) Cincinnati Reds sold 9087 tickets for a game Monday against the last-place Pittsburgh Pirates. Wow. There are actually over 9000 people who were willing to pay to see the Reds-Pirates?
–

Carrie Prejean is suing the Miss California pageant because she claims being fired damaged her career. Let’s see, how many former Miss Californias can you name? Maybe the pageant should sue her for non-payment of publicity services rendered.

(Or, as suggested by a couple friends, ask for their implants back.)

–
–
Adam “Pacman” Jones has signed a contract with the Winnipeg Blue Bombers. The team GM has said he expects Pacman to be a major contributor to the team, presumably because there aren’t many places to get into trouble in Winnipeg.

John Murphy, the Blue Bombers’ director of player personnel, said of “Pacman” Jones… he is going to “bring some fun and excitement to our team, our locker room, our city, and our league.”

Wonder if he’s alerted the Mounties.

–
Lets hope that when “Pacman” signed with the Blue Bombers that he didn’t think he was signing up for a women’s roller derby team.

–

Once again, the cure for a pitching slump? Play the SF Giants. Cole Hamels, 0-3 in August, allowed just two hits in a 1-0 victory. Although the Giants did have a leadoff double wasted and then the leadoff runner in the ninth inning picked off.

–

How badly are the SF Giants doing with men in scoring position? About as well as a group of fraternity guys on a lesbian cruise.

–

Comments: 1 Comment

You think you had a bad Monday?

Posted September 1, 2009 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: , , ,

It could be worse in Minnesota.

How’d you like to be the guy at the Timberwolves who made the decision to choose Ricky Rubio with the number five pick in the NBA draft?

Or maybe the guy at the Vikings who decided to spend $25 million on Brett Favre now that he may have broken a few ribs.

–
Bad news for the Vikings if after spending $25 million on Favre he turns out to have been injured. Good news, the bills should be covered by Medicare.

–
Many people disdain politics because they say campaigning is all feel-good promises and meaningless performances that end up having little to do with reality. So how come so many of those same folks are so excited about pre-season football??

–

So the University of Michigan is being investigated for allegations that players spent more than 20 hours a week on football during the season. I think the question on those charges is not so much, “is Michigan guilty? as “is there a top Division 1 football program that is innocent?”

In Michigan’s defense to the NCAA, they are saying “Come on, if we really spent that much time at practice, do you think we would have ended up with a 3-9 season?”

–
A new TSA program will require passengers to give their full legal name AND date of birth when booking airline tickets. You know what that means? – A whole lot more Hollywood actresses on Amtrak.
–

The SF Giants are hoping the old axiom is true. See a Penny, pick it up, all year long you’ll have good luck.

–
Personally, what I would really like if the Giants are going to pick up an aging former star, is that they hire Rickey Henderson for a coaching session on how to actually work a count.
–

For any Canadian readers…

Well, it’s that time of year in some cities, like Washington DC and Pittsburgh, where frustrated baseball fans are relieved to turn to football. Then there’s Toronto. Well there’s always hockey. Hmm, how about those winter Olympics?

(a short note of explanation, the Toronto Argonauts are currently in last place in the Canadian Football League. As to the Leafs, think Cubs. With skates.)

Comments: 1 Comment

Little League and other amateur baseball…

Posted August 31, 2009 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: , , ,

Congratulations to the boys from Chula Vista, a suburb of San Diego. They just won the Little League World Series. The team could end up with an invitiation to Petco Park, except that management is afraid they may beat the Padres.

–
Joe Biden was honored at the Little League World Series. He was going to say a few words, but officials didn’t want the boys up past their bedtimes.

or

Joe Biden was honored at the Little League World Series. He wanted to say a few words, but apparently the last time that happened at a Little League game, by the time he was done, some players needed to shave.

–
The Chicago Cubs have been in free fall lately. Some attribute to the fact that on July 31, when the Cubs had a half-game lead over the Cardinals, the Marlins paraded a goat in front of the Chicago dugout. So it could be the Billy Goat Curse. Or it could be…. August.

–

In 2010, Californians will elect a new governor. And a probable candidate, Jerry Brown. Yes, that Jerry Brown. Governor Moonbeam. How old is the guy? Even Brett Favre is saying, “Dude, hang it up already.”

–
Happy Birthday to the great Art Spander. Besides being a great writer, he might be the only living sportswriter who was around to cover Favre’s first retirement.

–
And from Bill Littlejohn, after quarterback Michael Vick got a rousing ovation in his Eagles debut from the notoriously tough Philadelphia crowd: “Maybe Santa Claus should get into dogfighting.”

Comments: Be the first to comment

Disgraces etc.

Posted August 30, 2009 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized

Ozzie Guillen today said he saw Little Leagues play better than the White Sox. Which is ridiculous. Better than the Mets, maybe.

–
The latest from the Pacific 10 in terms of scandals. Several football players at the University of Michigan have claimed the school is violating NCAA rules by making them spend far more that the mandatory limits on hours for practice and offseason training. And especially during the season they spent more than 20 hours a week on football activities.

One bright side here in terms of future deterrents, unlike some recent scandals where a team benefited hugely from an illegal player or academic practice, Michigan was 3-9 in 2008. Maybe the team would have been better off with more hours partying.

–
Though I wonder what’s more laughable. The idea that Michigan cheated for a total of 3 wins. Or the idea that any major D1 football program has players spend only 20 hours a week on football related activities?

–

Dwight Perry in the Seattle Times had an observation that Stanford fans may, or may not, enjoy on that new $50,000 donated bathroom for coach Jim Harbaugh’s office. You could spin it as the Cardinal having the season’s first bowl commitment.

–

In our nation’s capital this week, most everyone is on vacation. Which means about as much gets done as in an average Washington week.

Comments: Be the first to comment

Giants hitting and other disasters.

Posted August 29, 2009 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: , ,

Bill Gates says he and a team of scientists will patent a technology to stop hurricanes. I guess he thinks this is easier than first developing a technology to stop Windows from crashing?

–

Why Tim Lincecum should, but probably won’t, win the Cy Young. A league leading 222 strikeouts, a 2.33 ERA, and a 13-4 record. All without the benefit of pitching against the Giants

–
The Chicago Cubs have been struggling recently. Fortunately there is at least a temporary cure. It’s called “playing the New York Mets.”
–

After Brett Favre signed, Minnesota players were asked about a potential “schism” on the team. Some said yes, others no, but the majority responded “Don’t know him, did we sign a new European placekicker too?”

–
As Michael Crabtree continues his sulky contract holdout with the San Francisco 49ers, maybe it’s time to give the young man a nickname that reflects the contribution he may SOMEDAY make on an NFL field – “Michael Crabgrass.”

Comments: Be the first to comment

As we wind down August….

Posted August 28, 2009 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: ,

This year, Matt Barkley will become the first true freshman to start at quarterback for USC. Though almost certainly not the first quarterback who will play without having attended class.
–

Next week will be September, when MLB rosters expand and teams are able to bring their minor league prospects to the big leagues. Although at Citi Field, they’re already playing for the Mets.

–
Apparently the U.S. will soon start putting graphic pictures on cigarette packs in hopes of convincing people to quit. Although if disturbing images were really a deterrent no one who watches Sportscenter would ever attend a Cubs game.

(for this above joke you can substitute Lions, Royals, Pirates, Mets, 49ers, Raiders….pick your sorry team.)
–

Michael Vick played well in his brief debut with the Eagles, resulting in some football fanatics already imagining a quarterback competition between him and Donovan McNabb. None of the team is commenting on the idea, but even in future I think we can safely say a comment we will never hear on the subject is “I don’t have a dog in this fight.”

–
Who says the NCAA isn’t really trying to crack down on major athletic programs cheating? They just put on three-year probation for “failure to montor their athletes.” BYU. Actually, BYU-Hawaii. Division II. Yeah, that’ll scare the big boys.

–
Brett Favre says his relationship with his new Vikings teammates is a “work in progress.” – Which might be reassuring to Minnesota fans, if his retirement decision hadn’t also been a “work in progress.” One that took only slightly longer than the painting of the Sistine Chapel.

–
–
Tacky joke alert.

Apparently God is going all out to make Ted Kennedy comfortable in Heaven. When He asked if he could do anything for the Senator, Ted said he wouldn’t mind watching the healthcare debate with a couple of his Republican colleagues.

Comments: Be the first to comment

The blame game…

Posted August 27, 2009 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: , , ,

Louisville coach Rick Pitino says a sex scandal involving a woman accused of trying to extort him has been “pure hell” for his family and that he’s had enough. Well, if he had had “enough” he wouldn’t have “had” to end up on that table…

–
Ever notice how the guys who most say it’s about their family, didn’t care enough about their family to avoid getting in trouble in the first place?
–

Johan Santana will undergo season-ending elbow surgery, but insists he would have continued pitching had the Mets been in contention. Which means he could have had the surgery in May.

–

The Phillies’ Ryan Madson, filling in for closer Brad Lidge, blew his fifth save in nine save situations. Lidge himself has blown nine save situations in 2009. In nearby Washington, D.C. they are still scratching their heads. “What’s a save situation?”

–

In the Canadian Football League, the Montreal Alouettes, at 7-1, with no other team better than 4-3, certainly look unbeatable. The Alouettes, however, have been in four of the last six Grey Cups (the Canadian Super Bowl.) And they have lost all four.

Does this mean if they crumble again in the championship it will be known as a Shark Tank?

–

US Air says they are raising their fees to check bags by $5. No word on how much they will charge to actually have the bag show up at your destination.

–

Another good thought from Alex Kaseberg.

In the HBO series “Hard Knocks” Cincinnati Bengals QB Carson Palmer humiliated his center, Kyle Cook, on camera, by complaining that his hand stunk after placing it under Cook’s butt for the snap. What kind of ignorant and arrogant primma donna insults a guy so responsible for his own protection? Where did Palmer go to college? USC? Oh, yeah.

Comments: Be the first to comment

Heroes and goats.

Posted August 26, 2009 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: , , ,

This first great story submitted by reader Bill Williams, from the Winona, Wisconsin Daily News.

Apparently an repairman in an auto shop found a woman customer had tied up a goat in her trunk.

The goat was painted Minnesota Vikings purple and gold, with #4 shaved in its side. The repairman called animal rescue.

Winona officials are considering filing charges for animal abuse against the woman. No word if they consider the greater offence tying up the goat, or having him in purple and gold with Favre’s number.

–

Johan Santana will have elbow surgery, which means his season is over. Only a couple months after that of the Mets.

–

In a recent study, two-thirds of college students said their generation was more “self-promoting, narcissistic, overconfident and attention-seeking than others.” The other third said they were just naturally more outgoing and gifted.

–
State regulators have launched an investigation of a Southern California day care center after two toddlers were found playing on railroad tracks near the facility.

An investigation? Really? What was their first clue?

–
Argentina has joined Mexico and Columbia in decriminalizing small amounts of marijuana. Brazil and Ecuador are considering following suit.

Well, this certainly means there wouldn’t be any problem filling rosters on any potential new NBA South America.

–
And one serious note, yes, I do write serious stuff once in a great while:

Rest In Peace Ted Kennedy. I cannot think of another politician who has so redeemed his image over the years. He became the kind of statesman politicians on both sides of the aisle should aspire to be.

Comments: 1 Comment

Second verse, same as the first….

Posted August 25, 2009 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: , , ,

Ever remember that old kid’s song with the refrain “Second verse, same as the first, a little bit louder and a little bit worse…”?

Giants Box Score from Friday’s 11-14 loss to the Rockies.

San Francisco IP H R ER BB SO HR

Miller, Ju (L, 2-2) 0.2 4 4 4 2 0 1
Valdez, M 0.2 2 4 4 3 1 0

And tonight’s 6-4 loss in 14 innings.

San Francisco IP H R ER BB SO HR
Miller, Ju (L, 2-3) 0.0 1 3 3 2 0 0
Valdez, M (BS, 3) 0.0 1 1 1 0 0 1

So yes, for Justin Miller that’s a total of 2 outs, 5 hits, 4 walks, SEVEN earned runs.
And for Merkin Valdez thats 2 outs, 3 hits, 3 walks, FIVE earned runs. Including tonight’s walkoff grand slam.

12 earned runs, a total of 1 and 1/3 innings. That’s more than Giants hitters get in many weeks.

–
So who’s bringing the sign tomorrow to A T and T park? “Miller and Valdez – Wild Card Death Panel.”

–

–
For Giants fans, tonight will go down as an epic. Sort of like Waterworld.

–
Plaxico Burress says that the nightclub security staff was aware he was carrying a gun into the nightclub the night he accidentally shot himself.

If true, that’s got to make New Yorkers feel warm and fuzzy and safe. I mean, guns in sweatpants, what could possibly go wrong?

But his story does perhaps illustrate a potential niche service for NY clubs. Hat check, coat check, gun check….

–
And back to commie pinko time…..

A story in the NY Times says with all the various appointments and resignations, almost 27 percent of Americans will soon be represented by at least one unelected senator. Big deal, after the 2000 election 100 percent of us were represented by an unelected president.

–

Apparently President Obama brought five books with him on vacation. In a display of bipartisan goodwill, when former President George W. Bush heard about it he sent Barack a brand new box of crayons.

Comments: 1 Comment

Baseball follies

Posted August 24, 2009 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: ,

Carlos Gonzalez of the Colorado Rockies is day-to-day with a puncture wound in his hand. Gonzalez claims he hurt himself on a steak knife while he was putting a dish in his kitchen sink. The story is more than a little suspicious, he expects us to believe a man actually put a dish in the sink?

–
John Smoltz, released by the Boston Red Sox, had a great debut for the St. Louis Cardinals against the San Diego Padres. Tony La Russa was so pleased he said he is now willing to give Smoltz a start against a major league offense.

–
Next Saturday night the SF Giants have designated it “Creature Features” night at the ballpark, and will show “The Night of the Living Dead” on the scoreboard after the game. The movie will be dedicated to the Giants’ offense.

–
With all the stories about athletes and arrests, I think I can safely say that none of the SF Giants will ever be arrested for any form of theft or larceny. They can’t even take a pitch.

(yes, if anyone who is reading this is not a Giants fan, I’m pretty cranky. Last item inspired by Pablo Sandoval swinging at a seriously outside and low ball four with no one out and a runner at first and the team trailing by one. But he wasn’t the only culprit)

–
The Pirates, 33-28 at home, have an 18-43 road record. Instead of having the away games covered in the Pittsburgh media, it might be less embarrassing at this point to tell their fans they are off hiking the Applachian trail.

Jayson Blair, who basically lied and plagarized his way out of a career as a reporter, has now reinvented himself as a life coach. Presumably specializing in athletes and politicians.

–

Senator John Ensign of Nevada that unlike Bill Clinton, when he had an affair outside of marriage it wasn’t “legally wrong”. Well, now maybe we know why he chose to live in Nevada, where just about anything is legal related to sex, as long as you don’t frighten the horses.

–
Commie pinko thought alert:

So Senator Lieberman now says serious health care reform can wait until after the recession is over. Just wondering, if we got rid of the lifetime health benefits for retired congressmen and women, I wonder if he and others would have the same attitude?

–
And for anyone who missed ESPN and other sports news this weekend, as of Monday morning, Brett Favre is still unretired.

Comments: Be the first to comment

Okay, yeah, I give up, more Brett.

Posted August 23, 2009 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: , ,

Have you heard about the Brett Favre cocktail? Could be one of the greatest drinks ever, but it’s hard to know when to quit.

–
The two unhappiest folks in Minnesota have to be the two quarterbacks who expected to contend for the starting job. Or as they are known by the Vikings organization – Chopped Liver Numbers One and Two.

–

Former Memphis and U Mass coach John Calipari has now had his teams have to completey forfeit two Final Four seasons in 11 years. And he left Memphis to accept the University of Kentucky coaching job while the school was under investigation.

But Kentucky Governor Steve Beshear has said “I’m not worried about it because they have never said Coach Cal did anything wrong at all, I think he’s a very upstanding guy. I really don’t foresee any problems.”

“REALLY?” said Governor Mark Sanford.

Bob Knight was ultimately fired for behavior issues, but he will now be inducted into Indiana University’s athletics Hall of Fame. No word on what celebrity will be on hand to throw out the first chair.

(note, if anyone is reading this from Westcoastsportsbabe – Dwight Perry in the Seattle Times was nice enough to use my joke about Tiger Woods, but he spelled the blog name wrong.)

Comments: Be the first to comment

More Brett – How can I miss you if you won’t go away?

Posted August 21, 2009 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: ,

Definition of eternity – Waiting behind Brett Favre for your turn in the voting booth.

–
ESPN said that Brett Favre’s debut, although rusty, was a hit. The only hit Packers fans might want to hear about in connection with Favre might be from Tom Cable.

–
Brett’s season may come down to his offensive line. Although Packers fans consider his real offensive line “I have signed with the Minnesota Vikings.”

–
When the player formerly known as Chad Johnson kicked the winning point after touchdown for Cincinnati against Denver, did the headlines read “Ocho Cinco 86s Broncos?”

–
The sale of the Chicago Cubs was finalized today, for a price reportedly in the $845 million range. The deal, which took 2 1/2 years to put together, will be known as “a LOT of Cash for Clunkers.”

–

The Evangelical Lutheran Church of America will lift a ban requiring gay and lesbian ministers to be celibate. Now individual congregations can hire homosexuals who are in committed relationships. Some ECLA members weren’t quite ready to remove the ban on having sex, so they wanted to restrict hiring to gays who were married,

–
SF Giants fans will get this one: (especially after tonight’s 6-3 nailbiter over the Rockies.)

Have you heard about the new Brian Wilson cocktail? Pour anything over ice, and a lot of it, just before he takes the mound.

–
From the always funny Alex Kaseberg:

The NFL is investigating Oakland Raider coach Tom Cable’s punching and fracturing the jaw of an assistant coach. The good news? It was the first decent hit by a Raider in two years.

Comments: Be the first to comment

Age discrimination.

Posted August 21, 2009 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized

A T &T is coming under fire for its policy not to rehire employees over 40 who had previously retired. They may lose in the courts, on the other hand they are likely to become the official phone company of the Green Bay Packers.

–
No one quite knows what Brett Favre’s role will be on the Vikings. One thing is for sure, they’re not going to let him anywhere NEAR the coin toss…..

–
Wherever Plaxico Burress ends up in prison, he will be a highly prized recruit for the inmates’ football team. When asked if he would consider playing football in prison, Plaxico reportedly answered that he would take a shot at it.

–
Plaxico Burress accepted a two year prison sentence sentence when he pled guilty to a weapons charge after accidentally shooting himself at a New York nightclub. Well, at least he answered that old question. “Is that a gun in your pants or are you just happy to see me?”

–
USC’s top-ranked football team at least temporarily has already lost four starters to pre-season injuries. This could completely alter the players’ fall plans – they might actually have to go to class..

–
Scientists used a CT scan on a 2,500 year old mummy at Stanford hospital, in preparation for an exhibition “Very Postmortem, Mummies and Medicine,” that will open in October in San Francisco. Apparently the scan revealed many fascinating details, including the fact he was buried holding a Brett Favre rookie card.

–
South African runner Caster Semenya is facing questions about her gender after winning the 800 meter race at the World Championships. Apparently the question came up after she put on a new track suit and didn’t ask anyone “Do these pants make me look fat?”

–

Oakland Raiders fans are equally divided over reports that their coach Tom Cable may have fought with an assistant coach and fractured the man’s jaw. Half think the coach should be suspended and the other half think the Raiders should sign him to play defense.
–

The Florida Marlins have gotten at least 10 hits per game for 15 consecutive games. Meanwhile, the San Francisco Giants have gotten 10 hits in a week for 15 consecutive weeks.

–
Manager Bruce Bochy of the Giants said he was not happy with his team’s approach to hitting. Which really surprised the players – their manager thinks they HAVE an approach to hitting?

–
Kate Hudson and Alex Rodriguez remain an item. Rumor has it Kate is a little frustrated by how much time baseball takes in A-Rod’s life, but he has assured her that he will have a lot more free time by the middle of October.

–

Comments: 2 Comments

« Older Entries
Newer Entries »