Posted tagged ‘Joe Wilson jokes’

NFL week one etc.

September 14, 2009

Cincinnati lost to the Denver Broncos on an 87 yard last second tipped pass, a play that was aided by defensive mistakes. It was the most embarrassing thing to happen to the Bengals in recent memory. Well, without the police being involved.

How bad was Quarterback Jay Cutler’s play in the Bears opening day loss to the Packers. By the fourth quarter Chicago fans were calling for the return of Rex Grossman.

Drew Brees threw six touchdown passes on Sunday, which tied the Saints’ single game record. No word on if because it was against the Lions the record will have an asterisk.

The Green Bay media is praising Aaron Rodgers for a great season-opener, including his last minute drive to lead the Packers over the Bears. But to be fair and give credit where credit is due, they do say the Vikings seem to have a good running game.

The Lions extended their regular season losing streak to 18 games. There went Detroit’s early hopes of cracking the AP College Football top 25.

C.C. Sabathia won his 17th for the Yankees, 13-3 over the Orioles. The offensive outburst came without much help from A-Rod, who was on the bench after being ejected in the fourth. Well, that’s one way to get some practice for the playoffs.

After their upset of Oklahama State, the Houston Cougars are in college football’s top 25 for the first time since 1991. To give you an idea how long ago that was, Brett Favre was just contemplating his first retirement.

Barack Obama condemned Kanye West’s interruption of Taylor Swift’s MTV award acceptance.. But the President intends to give Kanye a chance to redeem himself; in fact he has invited the rapper to attend Joe Biden’s next speech.

September might be a harsh reality check for Obama, as he realizes the limits of his power in Washington. Oh, he will probably get health care passed. But there is nothing he will be able to do about the Redskins.

Serena Williams ending up forfeiting match point after a profanity-laced tirade in her U.S. Open semi-final. So much for all those who say the women would never catch up to the men’s game.

Serena Williams’ over-the-top outburst at the U.S. Open, will cost her at least a $10,000 fine. Had she just yelled “You lie,” she might have offset that fine with contributions from Republicans.


Sunday pun-day

September 13, 2009

Okay, anyone who doesn’t like puns stop reading now. And anyone who is easily offended don’t read the last joke.

While many of the headlines about the Serena Williams – Kim Clijsters match focus on Serena’s meltdown, how about the fact that Kim is playing with her toddler daughter in tow.

My headline idea – “Mum’s the word.”

And after the Oklahoma State Cowboys were upset by the Houston Cougars… how many headlines in Oklahoma will read.

“Houston – we had a problem?”

After freshman QB Tate Forcier led the Michigan Wolverines over Notre Dame.

“May the Forcier be with you”

Or “Wolverines Forcier their way past Fighting Irish.”

Brett Favre was voted one of the Minnesota Vikings’ five team captains. No confirmation on the rumor that Favre was chosen in a plea-bargain that meant the team didn’t have to wait for Brett to vote on his own choice.

One person who won’t be invited to the last game of the year at Wrigley Field – South Carolina Congressman Joe Wilson. The Cubs don’t want him anywhere around when they thank their fans for coming, and then tell them, “Wait until next year.”

San Francisco Giants fans have been hoping for months that their hitting would catch up to their pitching. Unfortunately, after 10-3 and 9-1 losses to the Dodgers, it appears to have happened the other way around.

Richard Seymour, who has been AWOL for five days since being traded from New England, now says he’s “excited” to join Oakland. The Raiders professed themselves happy to have him, once he has an examination to check for any possible head injury.

Virginia gubernatorial candidate Bob McDonnell dropped the “f bomb” in an interview. In some ways the GOP has to be relieved. It’s the first time this year the word was part of a news story with a Republican – where it wasn’t used as a verb.