A new season…

Posted October 27, 2009 by left coast sports babe
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The NBA regular season started tonight. It seems like just a few short months ago that the playoffs ended. Probably because it WAS a few short months ago that the playoffs ended.

But to be fair, the NBA does have a long season. Almost as long as their playoffs.

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16 of 30 NBA teams will make the next year’s playoffs. And at least three or four of them actually have a chance of winning.

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As opposed to baseball, with a 162 game season, and at most 19 games of playoffs. It’s just that those 19 games seem to be spread out over as much time as the regular season.

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This could be the best day of the year for sports fans in Washington, D.C., The Wizards won their opening game against the Mavericks. It’s the first day anyone can remember that a team in town has a winning record.

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Congressman Alan Grayson apologized for calling a woman who works part-time as a lobbyist a “K Street whore.” He said he “did not intend to use a term that is often, and correctly, seen as disrespectful to women,” Which term, whore, or “K Streeter?”

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So if you aren’t afraid of flying already, here’s a scary thought. Just how many pilots haven’t been caught working on their laptops…?

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Former Indiana basketball coach Bob Knight has refused a $75,000 check from the University as a settlement offer in a suit stemming from his 2000 firing. Apparently he’s holding out for someone to throw out the first endowed chair.

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George W. Bush has embarked on a new career as a “motivational speaker.” Yeah, I suppose it could be considered “motivational” when just by replacing you, someone can win a Nobel Prize.
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Senator Joe Leiberman says he may filibuster against any healthcare bill with a public option because America can’t afford it. Bravely spoken by a man who has government paid healthcare for life.

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Awaiting the Winter Classic.

Posted October 26, 2009 by left coast sports babe
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Yet another example of why we all love the Yankees….

C.C. Sabathia, after New York won the ALCS “It’s not really a surprise that we are here.

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Makes sense now that they are the Los Angeles Angels instead of the California Angels. More “E’s

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Questions of the day.

What’s more likely?

President Obama getting more than 1 or 2 Senate Republicans to vote for his healthcare bill.

or

The Washington Redskins winning another game this season?

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First Steve Phillips was fired for his latest affair with a young staffer, after basically leaving the Mets for the same reason. Now Bob Griese has been suspended for a stupid racial remark about NASCAR driver Juan Pablo Montoya. Is it time to change the network’s slogan to “Expect Something Puerile Nightly?”

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According to his publicist, fired ESPN analyst Steve Phillips has checked himself into a rehab center and is “not a sleazebag.” So what makes a man someone who “just needs help” and not a sleazebag? Apparently having the money for rehab.

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So the Northwest pilots’ latest excuse is that they were working on their laptops on “crew scheduling.” Wonder what “crew scheduling” is the code for – porn or “Freecell?”

And if they actually were distracted because the crew scheduling was complicated, what happens when they have to do something even more complicated. Like reading a 757’s instruction manual?

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The Pac 10 today suspended an official for missing a personal foul/face mask call in the USC-Oregon State game. After a OSU touchdown, USC safety Taylor Mays basically ripped the receiver’s helmet off. No word from the Trojans on any disciplinary action for Mays. Maybe the school’s initials should be UCS, University of Cheap Shots.

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Commie pinko thought of the night.

If government messes everything up and the public option is such a bad idea, how come we aren’t hearing about all the demonstrations from seniors who want to be released from Medicare?

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Baseball, the BCS and other rants…

Posted October 26, 2009 by left coast sports babe
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So major league baseball plays a 162 game season, with often only two days off a month, to find the best and most durable teams. Then the league makes the first round of the playoffs three out of five, and schedule the rest of them so far apart that the Yankees and Angels have played eight games in the past twenty days. MLB is making the BCS look good.

Well, almost. BCS rant of the week. Okay, Alabama came a blocked field goal away from losing to a mediocre Tennessee team, and jumps to number 1? USC makes a big point of saying how they won’t get blindsided by lowly Oregon State, again, wins only by six points, and jumps from 7 to 4? And Florida doesn’t cover the spread against Mississippi State and stays at 2.

In the meantime Cincinnati with a backup quarterback knocks off Louisville by 38, and they end up falling three spots to 8.

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But yeah, we can’t have a playoff because a few extra weeks would adversely affect academics for the student athletes involved…. Right, which means the FSU players who tested at a second grade reading level would slip down to first?
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Speaking of student athletes- this Tweet was reported in the Los Angeles Times to have come from freshman UCLA football player, Randall Carroll, it was noted because of the racial slur directed against offensive coordinator Norman Chow.

“man oregon, stanford and cal should have been easy wins ,, but [expletive] thys [racial slur] norm chow dnt be trustin us ,, so it is what it is.”

Anyone really think two extra weeks of class here might make a difference? Not that UCLA is going to any major bowls anytime soon.

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“Paranormal” beat out “Saw VI” at the box office office in a battle of scary films. Although objectively speaking, the scariest film of the weekend was still probably the Raiders game tape.

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Raiders lineman Richard Seymour last week guaranteed that Oakland would make the playoffs this year. With all due respect, I’m not sure the Raiders would make the BCS rankings.

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A study conducted for League of American Voters last week said that almost 50 percent of those who watch Fox News regularly claim they are Democrats or independents. Translation, almost half of Fox viewers would never tell the truth to a “commie pinko” government survey.

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While driving towards towards the end zone for a potential winning touchdown late in the game, Brett Favre missed his receiver and the ball was intercepted and run back for a touchdown. Wonder if Favre and his offense had been having a “heated discussion” in the huddle?

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The two pilots who were unreachable for over an hour and flew past Minneapolis have been suspended. And they may lose their jobs. On the brighter side, they could be offered the chance to do promotional spots for Verizon – “Can you hear me now?”

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More Northwest.

Posted October 25, 2009 by left coast sports babe
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Quote from the co-pilot on that wayward Northwest flight: “It was not a serious event, from a safety issue,”

Try that the next time a policeman pulls you over for a minor traffic violation.

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Once again, though, where is Steve Martin when you need him?. As the pilots keep dissembling about their excuse for not landing in Minneapolis the first time….maybe it’s time for that classic SNL skit about why he didn’t pay his taxes. “I FORGOT.”

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Napa police said they didn’t think they had enough evidence to get a conviction. And Tom Cable will apparently not be disciplined by the NFL for the incident that resulted in his ex-assistant Randy Hanson ending up with a broken jaw.

In the meantime, the league, ever vigilant, has fined Ocho Cinco $10,000 for last week’s game, when he wore the wrong color chin-strap.

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In the meantime, the NFL is trying to expand their fan base by having the New England Patriots and Tampa Bay Buccaneers play in London, England. The game will techniically be a home game for Tampa.

Commissioner Roger Goddell has stated he thinks the league could eventually put a franchise in London. If that’s the the plan, you think he might have sent another team than the 0-6 Bucs?

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Although to give Goddell credit, maybe he figures since English fans are used to low-scoring football (ie soccer) games, maybe the perfect team WOULD be the Buccaneers.

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Meanwhile, in the NHL, the Toronto Maple Leafs are off to their worst start in history with no wins, seven losses and a tie. 0-7-1.

Or as the Rams call that, something to aspire to.

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Stay tuned for Leafs management coming up with a list of things that are worse than kissing your sister.

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Speaking at a $400 a plate luncheon in Montreal, Canada, George W. Bush said that as president he “did not sell his soul.”

Many liberals would actually agree, since they never thought he had one.

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In the same speech, however, Bush said he did regret his appearance on that aircraft carrier in 2003 in front of that banner reading “Mission Impossible.”

Yes, he DID. Actually “Mission Impossible” would have been more accurate.

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America’s team?

Posted October 24, 2009 by left coast sports babe
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If anyone doubts who the national media expects and wants in the World Series, check out this headline from SI.com -“An Angels win in Game 6 would likely limit CC Sabathia to two World Series starts.”

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So the Obama adminstration wants to limit salaries when corporations take government money. Since their new stadium used some public funds, we may have just found a way to rein in the Yankees.

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A woman gave birth on a flight over Malaysia. The airline, Air Asia, will give her and her son free flights for life. In the U.S. they would have charged her for an extra carry-on.

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The first explanation from the Northwest pilots who missed Minneapolis was that they were engaged in a “heated discussion” about airline policy. If so, what policy? The one that tells them to ask for directions? Or read a map? Or has the airline started charging pilots for their onboard happy hour?

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Stand by for more excuses for the pilots. Maybe they would have been better off saying they were distracted by a little boy flying past in a balloon.

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Some people cannot believe the two male pilots could be completely oblivious to all communications for an hour and 20 minutes. These people have clearly not observed enough men watching the second half of a close football game.

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And as mentioned yesterday, the indecision on landing in Minneapolis does suggest Brett Favre might have been involved. Since the plane overshot the airport by 150 miles, however, Bill Littlejohn suggests that the NFL player in the cockpit might have been JaMarcus Russell.

But had it been Russell, the FAA would have had no problem intercepting them.

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Mayumi Heene, the wife of “balloon boy” dad Richard Heene, now says the whole incident was a hoax. Her husband still maintains that he has been telling the truth. I don’t know about a reality show, but maybe they could compete with Jon and Kate on a new version of “Family Feud.”

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The Washington Redskins have announced Jim Zorn will remain their coach through the end of the season. Translation, they can’t find anyone else to take the job.

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Representative Alan Grayson of Florida recently referred to former Vice President Cheney as a “vampire.” The comment has earned Grayson a fair amount of criticism, but perhaps none angrier than from the Vampire Anti-Defamation League.

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A few weak jokes for a weak douchebag:

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So Steve Phillips, suspended from his job at ESPN because of a sex scandal with a 22 year old assistant, had to take a leave from his previous job with the Mets because of a sex scandal and a confession of “multiple affairs” there too.

Maybe he thought ESPN stood for Extramartial Sex Preferred Nightly?

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No word yet on if Steve will confess to multiple affairs at the network too. Though perhaps among the women who work in Bristol. a possible new topic of water cooler conversation is “Ever Seen Phillips Naked?

Yo, Steve, it’s PLAYS of the week. Not Player of the Week.

Kind of ironic though, ESPN is the network that at first refused to report on the rape allegations against Ben Roethlisberger.
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First Letterman with his production assistants, now Phillips with his production assistant. Wonder how many networks received a call today about potentially hosting a show from Bill Clinton?

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Yet more off days…

Posted October 22, 2009 by left coast sports babe
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Due to television scheduling the Yankees-Angels had a day between games four and five, and now have another day between games five and six. This is certainly a record playoff year for “off days.” Including for the umpires.

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For what it’s worth, had New York won tonight, the World Series wouldn’t have started for six days. Which might have given Yankees fans enough time to take out mortgages to buy Series tickets.

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Yahoo has now apologized for using lap dancers to entertain male software developers and engineers in Taiwan last weekend during a “brainstorming meeting.” Yeah, was that really the brain they wanted to encourage the men to use?

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So after bypassing Minneapolis the first time, a Northwest Airlines jet made a U-turn and ended up landing there safely. Who was flying the plane – Brett Favre?

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A Northwest Airlines plane flying from San Diego overshot Minneapolis airport by 150 miles yesterday before the crew discovered their mistake and turned around. My question, do the passengers get 300 extra frequent flier miles?

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Maybe Dodgers fans should cut Manny Ramirez some slack for his weak performance in the NLCS. It’s tough to play with post-partum depression.

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Manny Ramirez not only finished the NLCS with a .263 batting average and only 2 RBIs, he had left the dugout was taking a shower during the Phillies comeback in game 4. Though as Bill Littlejohn says “Well, he was the cleanup hitter.”
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It has now been 21 years since the Dodgers got to the World Series. On a more positive note, the team issued a press release saying that by not needing a victory parade, they have cut down on their carbon footprint.

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California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger is trying to fast-track a potential new NFL stadium in Los Angeles in hopes of luring a franchise to the city. And he stated “A team does not have to necessarily come from a California city,” he said. “It can come from somewhere else, or it could be a new team that is created.”

Translation, not even Los Angeles wants the Raiders, 49ers or Chargers.

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For that matter, presumably Los Angeles doesn’t want the Rams back either.

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Listening to ESPN baseball analysts discuss Saturday’s Yankees-Angels game and claiming that a team’s history doesn’t make any difference to a current team of players who weren’t even there. Two words – Chicago Cubs.

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This last may not make sense to anyone under 40. But Soupy Sales died Thursday at the age of 83. Wonder if his tombstone will read “Fit to be Pied?”

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As we approach the World Series.

Posted October 21, 2009 by left coast sports babe
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One question, we’ve already had sub-freezing weather in Denver, and games played in the low 40s in Philadelphia and New York. Maybe it’s time to rename the World Series the “Winter Classic?”

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With friends like these…

Ohio State receiver DeVier Posey is a good friend of embattled quarterback Terrelle Pryor. (Pryor committed four turnovers during the Buckeyes’ upset loss to Purdue.) Said Posey of Pryor – “He’s going to get better. He really can’t do much worse.”

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To be fair, Posey probably didn’t see Kerry Collins’ performance last weekend for the Tennessee Titans.

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Cedric Benson believes his ex-team, the Chicago Bears, did all they could to keep him from signing with Cincinnati by passing on negative information to the Bengals – presumably like his stats.

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The Southeastern Conference suspended the officiating crew from last weekend’s Arkansas-Florida game for at least three weeks. This after the crew blew their second major call this year. Is it too late to put the SEC in charge of Major League Baseball’s postseason?

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The Yankees are scoffing at allegations that closer Mariano Rivera has been cheating by throwing a spitball. A team spokesman said they intend to buy this World Series fair and square.

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After his ex-mistress, 22, started phoning his wife, ESPN analyst Steve Phillips called polce saying “I have extreme concerns about the health and safety of my kids and myself.” Somehow I don’t see this putting him in the finals for the “concerned father of the year award.

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ALCS and beyond..

Posted October 20, 2009 by left coast sports babe
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It’s a close call. Who’s doing more sleepwalking through the ALCS. The Angels, or the umpires?

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On the other hand, the New York Yankees are making a strong case that they might be the best billion dollar team ever put together in baseball.

(And the billion dollars, no joke, when you add up the combined guaranteed contracts. $200 million is just this year…before the trade deadline)
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Tacky alert:

A-Rod seems to have rejuvenated his post-season career now that he is dating Kate Hudson. Wonder how many World Series the Yankees might have won had he earlier started dating Goldie Hawn instead of Madonna?

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Useless fact of the day: For all the pre-LCS talk about a Freeway Series, it is actually faster to get between Philadelphia and New York by train, than between Los Angeles and Anaheim by car.

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A Colorado toddler was denied insurance for being underweight. Which means without healthcare reform America will become a country with a whole underclass of uninsured supermodels.

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Actually if being underweight is a reason for current health insurance companies to deny insurance, this is a great way for Obama to get the men of America behind his reform plan – otherwise all the Victoria’s Secret Models and Playboy Bunnies will flee to Canada.

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The Obama adminstration has announced they will not go after medicinal marijuana users who are complying with state laws. So marijuana use will still be illegal, but in these cases the law won’t be enforced. Sort of like travelling in the NBA.

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Sarah Palin will be appearing on “Oprah” in November to promote her new book. Why the delay? Someone apparently told former Governor Palin that to promote a book you’re supposed to have written, you actually need to have read it.
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And the American Society of Reproductive Medicine (ASRM) has finally gotten around to expelling Dr Michael Kamrava, the “octo-doctor who was Nayda Suleman’s fertility specialist. They declined, however, to give an reason for his expulsion. Let’s see, he implanted six embroyos (two of which split) in an unwed, unemployed, 33 year old mother of six? What was the ASRM’s first clue?

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First in war, first in peace, and last in the National Football League…

Posted October 20, 2009 by left coast sports babe
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The Washington Redskins are again facing controversy because some people feel that their nickname defames Native Americans. Of course, these days, the problem is that you can’t find an animal, a fictional character or even a color that would want to be associated with this team.

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Okay, technically the Washington Redskins don’t even have the worst record in the NFL. But they have attained their 2-4 record by playing six previously winless teams. So they get points for trying harder.

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Mike Shanahan apparently has turned down an offer to coach the Redskins. He figures if he moves to Washington he would like a less stressful job – like bringing peace to the Mideast.

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Weird NFL stat of the day: The Raiders, Browns AND Chiefs together haven’t scored as many points as the New Orleans Saints.

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What’s the difference between Obama’s healhcare reform bill and the Redskins? The bill has an actual chance of successfully passing.

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The Washington Redskins have relieved coach Jim Zorn of play-calling duties. This came as a shock to Redskins fans, who weren’t aware ANYONE was calling plays.

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Okay, let’s see a show of hands from anyone who predicted that the Philadelphia Philles would score more against the Dodgers on Sunday than the Eagles would against the Raiders…. (Phillies 11-Dodgers 0 – Raiders 13-Eagles 9)

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Ralph Nader now says Barack Obama is a “serious disappointment.” What, as opposed to the man who Nader’s own campaign helped elect in 2000 – George W. Bush?

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The BCS and other hoaxes..

Posted October 19, 2009 by left coast sports babe
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The Saints beat the Giants 48 to 27. New York hasn’t been shocked by that much scoring since the Letterman scandal broke.

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A Colorado sheriff now says the whole “Balloon Boy” incident was a hoax. Apparently the final straw was hearing that the parents were writing a book about the story with Clifford Irving.

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But okay, a boy accidentally getting into a balloon and floating away. Seems reasonably plausible. The Oakland Raiders beating the Philadelphia Eagles? Now that’s got to be a hoax.

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Actually, in his defense, Richard Heene, Falcon’s father, said he was preparing the balloon to help defend the country against the coming Martian attack on Halloween.

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The whole incident does illustrate one important lesson. When planning a conspiracy, it is best not to rely on the discretion of a six year old.

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Many in Washington are disappointed that despite some economic recovery, unemployment numbers are still high. On the bright side, those numbers may soon include Jim Zorn.

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Am not completely sure why the NFL rejected Rush Limbaugh as a potential owner for the St. Louis Rams. After all his insensitive remarks, can you think of a better expensive punishment?

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One bit of good news in Toronto. The Maple Leafs 0-6-1 start has pushed the Argonauts off the front page.

(translation for American readers, the Canadian Football League Toronto Argonauts do have 3 wins, but have a stranglehold on the title “Worst team in the league.”

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After the Cincinnati Bearcats trounced #21 South Florida, and have face two top 25 teams on their remaining schedule, they actually have a potential RPI (Rating Percentage Index) high enough to give them a legitimate claim at the BCS championship game should they win out.

Which explains, why behind closed doors at headquarters, BCS now stands for “Beat Cincinnati, SOMEONE.”

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USC was disappointed to be ranked 7th in the first BCS poll, despite being 4th in both other polls. Hate to give the BCS any credit, but come on..The Trojans lost to the 3-3 Washington Huskies, and barely beat unranked Notre Dame. And they haven’t played Stanford yet!

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Some things are just WRONG….

Posted October 17, 2009 by left coast sports babe
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Like playing the theme from “Rocky” for the bottom of the 12th in Yankee Stadium. Yeah, nothing says underdog like the $201 million payroll Yankees.

Of course, if the Angels keep making all these errors, they may have to register as an official New York charity.

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As Brett Favre prepares for the Ravens-Vikings game, at least he doesn’t have to worry about shopping for Halloween candy. What self-respecting kid wants to wait for the answer to “trick or treat.?”

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Okay, let’s see, who predicted this one? The best college football team in Ohio this year is now unquestionably the undefeated Cincinnati Bearcats.

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Major League Baseball is excusing their postseason umpiring mistakes by saying that six umpires are on the disabled list. But the explanation isn’t clear – are those six working the games or not?

So it turns out “balloon boy” Falcon never really got off the ground. Stay tuned for the announcement of his sponsorship deal with JetBlue.

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Lebron James hasn’t been playing in pre-season games for the Cavs due to a suspected case of H1N1. This wouldn’t be a problem for Kobe Bryant. He never passes on anything.

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It’s a rough year to be a sports fan in Toronto. Tonight, the CFL Argonauts became the first team to be officially eliminated from the playoffs. The Maple Leafs may follow in a few weeks.

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The Toronto Maple Leafs have started the season 0-7. During the second intermission of their most recent loss, Air Canada Centre’s PA system started playing the Beatles’ “Help.” Maybe it would have been more appropriate to play Neil Young’s “Helpless.”

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Ben Burnett reminds us that Microsoft’s next operating system, Windows 7, comes out on Thursday, October 22. So for those hoping to install it, call tech support now and get on hold now.
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Erratic behavior..

Posted October 16, 2009 by left coast sports babe
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TLC is suing Jon Gosselin for breach of contract based on his erratic behavior. But seriously, if you were looking for reasonable behavior would you really choose someone who thought it was a good idea to have eight children?

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Well, unfortunately for Yankees haters, tonight we discovered that you really can’t spell Los Angeles Angels without at least three “Es”.
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Recently released NCAA transcripts from 2006-7 show that some Florida State football players were reading at a second-grade level. Over at USC they were shocked – there are college football players who actually read?
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Michael Vick had better not participate in any taunting when the Eagles play the Raiders Sunday. I think it violates the terms of his parole to be cruel to dogs.

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The Eagles-Raiders game didn’t sell out and will be blacked out this Sunday. Is the NFL really using the right incentives? Maybe they should have threatened that without a sell out, it would be the only game broadcast in Oakland?

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According to SI.com, Stephen Strasburg, the Washington Nationals’ most highly-hyped prospect ever, had a strong first start in the Arizona Fall League. Well, he’s already accomplished one thing – this might be the first time the words “Washington Nationals” have been used in a baseball game story in October.

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From T.O to T.J. Now Seahawks receiver T.J. Houshmandzadeh is is complaing that he’s not getting the ball enough. Maybe because none of the coaching staff can fit his name in the playbook?

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Another comment on Garth Brooks coming out of retirement, from Bill Littlejohn: “Relax, Padres fans; it’s to sing.’’

But actually, could Garth hit that much worse than the regular Padres lineup?

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Trial balloons…

Posted October 15, 2009 by left coast sports babe
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Carney Lansford, fired yesterday by the San Francisco Giants, was quoted as saying “never take a hitting coach job with an offensively challenged team.” Yo, Carney, isn’t that exactly the kind of team that NEEDS a good hitting coach?

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Glad Falcon, the little Colorado boy, is safe. But let’s see, but apparently besides building balloons, his parents’ idea of family activities include tornado chasing and searching for extra-terrestrials. And mom and dad also both appeared on “Wife Swap.” Makes Jon and Kate almost look well-adjusted.

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Even the Octomom said “What were they thinking?”

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How did the rescuers hear that the boy had been in the attic all the time? “Tranquillity base here, the Falcon has never taken off?”

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Polaroid is bringing the instant camera back. Can’t imagine why. Any photo you take can’t be uploaded on a camera phone, posted on Facebook, or shared with a million people on the internet… Oops, never mind.
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Tonight’s 8-6 Phillies-Dodgers slugfest once again proved Yogi Berra knew what he was talking about – with his quote “Good pitching beats good hitting, and vice-versa.”

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The game featured four home runs. Which would have been at least eight in Yankee Stadium.

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Meghan McCain is taking some heat for a twitter photo she posted of herself in a pyjama top. She says if people don’t stop the criticism her the next pyjama photo she posts will feature her dad.

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Garth Brooks is coming out of retirement again. Wonder if his first gig will be singing the national anthem at a Minnesota Vikings game?

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A Louisiana justice of the peace claims he refused to issue a marriage license to an interracial couple out of concern for any children the couple might have. Either that he’s trying to prevent future Democratic presidents.

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This may only make sense to Canadian readers, but…

Moncton, New Brunswick, will host a 2010 regular season Canadian Football League game between the Toronto Argonauts and the Saskatchewan Rough Riders. The town has been trying to land a CFL team for years. In a goodwill gesture from the U.S. to Canada, apparently Oakland has offered them the Raiders.

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From Alex Kaseberg: A survey ranked the 55 cities with the smartest residents down to the least smartest residents and Fresno finished last. Upon hearing this a Fresno resident asked “What’s a resident?”

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Rush to judgment.

Posted October 14, 2009 by left coast sports babe
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Apparently Rush Limbaugh has been dropped from the group of investors trying to buy the St. Louis Rams. This will help assure that the biggest losers associated with the Rams remain on the field.

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Regarding the opposition to letting Rush Limbaugh become a part-owner of the St. Louis Rams. To be fair, maybe the NFL felt it would be uncomfortable for Rush to be around all those liberals at the owners’ meetings.

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Yankees fans maintain their team has done so well this year, not because of their over $200 million payroll, but because of sound management. Yeah, and David Letterman would have still had all those women if he were a starving standup comic in Brooklyn.

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There are rumors that the Bills may trade T.O. to the Bears. Oh, come on, with the Olympics, Cubs and White Sox, haven’t sports fans in Chicago suffered enough?

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Today the San Francisco Giants fired their hitting coach. Which comes as a shock to most fans. The Giants HAD a hitting coach?

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John McCain’s chief campaign strategist said of their choice of Sarah Palin – “I believe to this day that had she not been picked as a vice presidential candidate, we would have never been ahead, not for one second, not for one minute, not for one hour, not for one day.”

Which is about as often as they ended up ahead with her.

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City officials of Hiroshima and Nagasaki are planning a bid to jointly host the 2020 Olympics. Says Marc Ragovin: “I’m telling ya, there is gonna be a lot of fallout over this.”

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Not quite retiring the Favre jokes…

Posted October 14, 2009 by left coast sports babe
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Brett Favre says this year’s Vikings are the “best team I’ve ever been on.” No, he’s not insulting the 1996 Super Bowl winning Packers. He just doesn’t remember them.

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Junior Seau is returning from retirement for a third time to the New England Patriots. If the Patriots and Vikings make to the Super Bowl, we can only pray they don’t send Seau and Favre out to call the coin toss….

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The NFL has announced that they have moved the Vikings-Packers rematch to 315p Central Standard Time on November 1, instead of 12:00n, by swapping the game with the Giants-Eagles game. This would avoid scheduling conflicts for the Phillies if they make it to the World Series.

The league says that they made the change to make things easier for Major League Baseball and the city of Philadelphia, and not because the later Sunday game has a bigger television audience and thus ad rates.

And if you believe THAT one, I’ve got a tape of Favre’s final retirement conference to sell you.

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Gilbert Arenas and the Washington Wizards were fined $25,000 apiece Tuesday by the NBA because Arenas has been refusing to talk to the media. $25,000 for not talking? Well, that’s one fine that won’t have to be paid by Mark Cuban.

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Apparently the Miami Dolphins are about to add one more celebrity part-owner, this time Fergie, of the Black Eyed Peas. She would join Venus Williams and Serena Williams, Jimmy Buffett, Marc Anthony and Emilio and Gloria Estefan as limited partners. Already, the average Floridian can name more owners of the Dolphins than players on the Buccaneers.

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Despite the team’s recent success, Joe Torre has stated he has no intention of getting a contract extension with the Dodgers, and isn’t even sure he will return to Los Angeles next year. Apparently after this year with the Manny Ramirez circus, following all those years with the Yankees, Torre figures his next job will be something less stressful, like White House Press Secretary.

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TMZ.com apparently has more than once caught Arnold Schwarzenegger’s wife Maria Shriver talking on a hand-held cellphone while driving (illegal in California), and has posted the pictures.

Maybe we have the wrong people going after Osama Bin Laden?

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Columbus Day..

Posted October 13, 2009 by left coast sports babe
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Monday was Columbus Day. Which means many conservatives coud use the day off from work to continue their protests against illegal immigrants.

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The Denver Broncos ran their record to 5-0, despite wearing throwback uniforms that were so despised by the original AFL team that wore them that they were publicly burned the following year. At this point Raiders fans are considering a similar plan – with the team still in them.

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How bad looking were the uniforms? Even University of Oregon players wouldn’t be caught dead in them.

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It’s been a bad postseason for closers. In fact, there’s already been so many blown saves, some fans think they are watching the Sharks in the playoffs.

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When they play the Kansas City Chiefs Sunday, the Washington Redskins will become the first NFL team ever to play six straight games against previously winless opponents. Apparently last year’s Detroit Lions intra-squad games don’t count.

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Philadelphia fans were thrilled with their team’s ninth inning comeback Monday night. It means they get to once again boo the Phillies in the NLCS.

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Maurice Sendak has been popular for over 30 years, often by writing books that appeal more to children than their parents. While “Where the Wild Things Are.” has not appeared at the theatre yet, the author did provide a glimpse of the attitude that appeals to many children…..

A reporter asked him ‘What would you say to parents who think the Wild Things film may be too scary?”

Sendak: “I would tell them to go to hell.””

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With all the jokes about the Nobel committee turning the Peace prize into a joke, maybe it’s time for a few new Nobel prizes.

For Joe Biden, if he can ever learn to shut up – “The Nobel Cease Prize.”

For Captain “Sully” Sullenberger – “The Nobel Geese Prize.”

For AIG “The Nobel Fleece Prize.”

For Conan O’Brien’s hair – “The Nobel Grease Prize.

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Commie pinko time.

Health insurance companies are claiming that over the next decade, Senate legislation will result in families paying thousands more a year for their premiums. As opposed to the status quo, where they will end up paying tens of thousands more for their premiums.

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Errors and omissions.

Posted October 11, 2009 by left coast sports babe
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John McCain said not sending enough troops to Afghanistan would be “an error of historic proportions.”. And if anyone knows about historic errors, it’s the man who chose Sarah Palin for his running mate.

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A study says that people who experience traumatic events as children could see their life expectancy drop by as much as twenty years. This could mean an NC17 rating for Wrigley Field.

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The Philadelphia Phillies beat the Colorado Rockies in sub-freezing weather at Coors Field Sunday night. Apparently it was the coldest game anyone can remember in major league baseball since the Giants left Candlestick.

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The Phillies’ winning rally included a hit that should have been ruled a foul ball. Yet another blown call by the umps this postseason. Talk about game-change performances that SHOULD be sponsored by Pontiac.

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The Olympics have decided to add rugby and golf as sports in 2016. Well, it’s probably about time Tiger Woods got some international exposure.

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How bad are things for the Redskins? Folks in D.C. are starting to think about season tickets next year for the Nationals.

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For the 2-3 Redskins, all their losses have been their opponent’s first wins of the season. President Obama is considering asking the team to speak out against health care reform.

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Next up for the Redskins, the Kansas City Chiefs, 0-5 after going 0-4 in the preseason. If the Chiefs also beat the ‘Skins, on November 1, put your money on a first ever win “bye week.”

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The Cleveland Browns beat the Buffalo Bills 6-3. 6-3? Apparently it was so cold a hockey game broke out.

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White House Communication director Anita Dunn called Fox News, “a vehicle for Republican Party propaganda.” The station angrily denied the accusation – they prefer to think of the Republican Party as a vehicle for Fox News propaganda.

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A few Saturday thoughts…

Posted October 10, 2009 by left coast sports babe
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Memphis is appealing the NCAA’s decision to strip all the university’s basketball wins in 2007-08 because their star player faked an SAT test. Yes, heaven forbid the one academic year that Derrick Rose spent at Memphis before he left for the NBA be tainted.

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NASA says its moon bombing was a success. Said Dick Cheney – “An unprovoked, successful missile strike – where do I sign up?”

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Unfortunately for Colorado fans, the Phillies-Rockies game was postponed by snow. Unfortunately for St Louis fans, the Dodgers-Cardinal game wasn’t.
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President Obama just took home the Nobel Peace Prize. Considering the ratings jump David Letterman is getting from all his mea culpas about sleeping with staffers, can we say he is taking home the “Piece Prize?”

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The moon and other flights..

Posted October 9, 2009 by left coast sports babe
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The Swiss denied bail for Roman Polanski, saying that they believe he is a flight risk. Wow, what was their first clue?
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NASA has sent a rocket basically to bomb the moon. They say it’s to detect the presence of ice. But the real reason? Once we bomb the moon, NASA hopes the government will be willing to spend billions of dollars there.

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On her Facebook page, Sarah Palin told President Obama that now is not the time for “second thoughts” about Afghanistan. And if anyone’s an expert on “second thoughts,” it’s the woman who served over half of her term as Governor.

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Oops. Five Somali pirates were captured by the French navy, after they attempted to storm the French navy’s 18,000 ton flagship in the Indian Ocean. (They had apparently mistaken it for a private cargo vessel.) This is the worst Pirates performance since Pittsburgh wrapped up their 2009 MLB season.

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Some conservatives are criticizing Mary Cheney for having a second child with her partner of almost 20 years. They claim, (for two printable examples) that the lesbian partnership is unnatural or that the child should have a father around. Anyone want to lay odds on this new baby growing up more or less well-adjusted, than say, the child of an unwed teenager mother whose teenage father is posing nude in Playgirl?

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Despite reports in Forbes magazine, Tiger Woods said he is not a billionaire. Guess he had a 401k too.

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Apparently the “pecking order” for scheduling major league baseball games is now something like this. If the Yankees are in the playoffs, their game will always be played in prime time. If the Yankees are out or have an off-day, the prime slots go to the Red Sox, then the Cubs (well, not this year), and then probably the Los Angeles Dodgers.

So kids who want to see a World Series played during the day sometime, keep rooting for something like Twins-Rockies.

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If the SF Giants had somehow managed to make the playoffs, local fans could probably count on the games at 11a.

From the very funny Alex Kaseberg: After Rio de Janeiro has been selected for the 2016 Olympic Games, residents swigged rum, tore off their clothes and danced in the street all night. When asked why they were so excited about the Olympics, the most common response; “What Olympics?”

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An upfront kind of guy…?

Posted October 8, 2009 by left coast sports babe
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I have been advised by friends that visual thinkers should skip the first jokes.

To help his career and improve his image, apparently Levi Johnston has decided to pose nude for Playgirl. Thank goodness David Letterman has chosen a different “bare-all’ strategy.

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Apparently in Dallas, police are looking for a pudgy 6 foot tall man who covers his face, sneaks into backyards, dances around naked, and then runs away.

A spokeperson said police want to catch him “before it escalates into something worse.”

A large pudgy man dancing around in your backyard naked? Can most people imagine it getting worse?

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Or, in Dallas, police are looking for a pudge 6 foot tall man who dances around naked in strangers’ backyards with his face covered. Guess Tom Delay misses “Dancing with the Stars” more than we thought.

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Napa police are still trying to decide whether or not to charge Raiders coach Tom Cable with felony assault after he allegedly broke assistant coach Randy Hanson’s jaw in an altercation during a meeting this summer.
Maybe they can’t believe that anyone with the Raiders could actually deliver that big a hit.

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Although seriously, if a boss in any other industry broke an employee’s jaw at work, do you think there would be any question about charges? (Well, unless maybe it was Dick Cheney while he was cleaning his pellet gun.)

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After a questionable excessive-celebration penalty contributed to Georgia’s loss last weekend against LSU, SEC Commissioner Mike Slive said there was no reason to have a “public hanging” when officials make bad calls. Unless, of course, it’s during a BCS bowl game.

(In which case the most appropriate place for the scaffold might be the 50 yard line)

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A Cardinals error with 2 outs in the bottom of the 9th led to a Dodgers victory. In college football, Nebraska scored four unanswered touchdowns in the 4th quarter for a come-from-behind 27-12 win over Mizzou. Guess tonight with Sportscenter, Missouri is the “Please Don’t Show-Me State.”

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