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Unreality television

June 12, 2009

A New Jersey mother who appeared  on “Wife Swap” has been charged with wounding her husband by stabbing him.  The woman, who swapped with a tattooed freak show performer, is a former Miss Teen New Jersey .  She claims she stabbed her husband  in self defense when he got jealous of a phone call from a “mutual male friend.”

I’m not sure if stories like this do more to debunk the theory of intelligent design or that of evolution.-

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Minnesota Vikings Coach Brad Childress says to “stay tuned” with the situation with Brett Favre.   “Stay tuned?”  It’s like we’re all watching a ghastly reality show and are unable to change the channel.

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Speaking of unreal –

The Orlando Magic hit 1 of 6 crucial freethrows down the stretch.  It was enough to make their fans miss the clutch foul shooting of  Shaquille O’Neal.

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New beer drinking toast in Green Bay – “May your troubles last as long as Brett Favre’s retirements”

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Cameron Diaz said in an interview that she only wants to date a guy who has “already dealt with his issues.” Is this her way of saying she is becoming a lesbian?

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The University of Alabama must forfeit 21 football wins after an investigation revealed players were obtaining free textbooks to give or sell to other students.   What was the investigators’ first clue?  That the football players were getting textbooks.

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At least this is one scandal that probably won’t hit NCAA basketball teams.  No one expects any of these one-and-done players to even pick up a textbook.

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The one-and-done phenomenon is because high school players have to wait a year before joining the NBA. Thus they may play on a college team for one season, but don’t really become a part of the team or university.  In addition the process is full of academic and monetary scandals. 

Several theories have been advanced to fix the problem, from switching to the baseball model (once you are drafted you must stay in school until your junior year or until you are 21) to a higher NBA age limit,  to requiring underage players to play in a developmental league.  Either that or requiring them to play for the Wizards or Clippers.

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The now former Miss California, Carrie Prejean, was fired by Donald Trump for neglecting her duties.  This is shocking.  Miss California has duties?

Or – a better punchline from the very funny Alex Kaseberg:  Prejean said she didn’t mean to blow off her duties, the wind just blew them away.

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And speaking of funny people, this from Bill Littlejohn:

Rumors have it that Bill Belichick is going to marry long-time companion Linda Holliday.He’s already ordered a tuxedo with a hood on it”

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The endless MLB draft

June 11, 2009

Sarah Palin angrily demanded David Letterman apologize for what she feels was an inappropriate joke aimed at her daughter, Bristol.  Said the Alaska governor, no one should exploit my children, except me.

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Has anyone noticed that Brett Favre has the same relationship to retirement as Elizabeth Taylor has with marriage?

 

Not saying the Major League Baseball draft goes on forever, but even Joe Biden is saying “Enough already.”

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They asked former president and former Rangers owner George W. Bush his opinion on the draft.  Bush said he didn’t know much as he had spent the week at a reunion of the Texas Air National Guard

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President Obama may send former Vice President Al Gore to negotiate with North Korea for the release of the two American journallsts. Wouldn’t it more effective to send Joe Biden to just discuss it with them for as long as it takes….
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Manny Ramirez doesn’t want to discuss his 50 game suspension,  saying “I  didn’t kill nobody, I didn’t rape nobody, so that’s it, I’m just going to come and play the game.,” 

So much for Manny ever needing to leave tickets for O.J. Simpson or Kobe Bryant.

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Sammy Sosa is going to officially announce his retirement from baseball.  Which will surprise both people who thought he might come back.

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or

Sammy Sosa is going to officially announced his retirement from baseball.  Or as a spokesman said “Put a cork in his bats, he’s done.’

(Remember those innocent days when corked bats were cheating?)

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A false prophet

June 9, 2009

So Jon Voight is calling Obama a false prophet.  Hey Jon, “24” ended last month.  Next up, Kiefer Sutherland calling for an overall of the FBI.

 

A court threw out a lawsuit by a San Diego woman alleging fraud because she just found out Cap’n Crunch Crunchberries weren’t a real fruit. She had previously sued after she discovered there was no real fruit in Froot Loops. Think she would have had a better chance if she sued on the premise that eating too much sugared cereal rots your brain.

 

Congrats to Stanford closer Drew Storen, chosen as the number 10 pick in the MLB draft by the Washington Nationals. Even though these days being a closer for the Nationals is kind of like being a wedding planner for Trekkies.

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Manny Ramirez  said he isn’t going to talk about what led to his suspension because “it’s in the past.”  Yeah, that line worked so well for Mark McGwire.

And in the  You-can’t-make-this-stuff-up department,  Ramirez added that he didn’t want “to be a distraction for this team.”

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The Major League Baseball draft continues Wednesday and Thursday.  MLB’s draft never receives as much attention as the NBA and NFL draft, partly because it goes on forever, and for the most part it features players most Americans have never heard of… Sort of like the Stanley Cup playoffs.

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Is anyone running Alaska?

June 8, 2009

Governor Sarah Palin is making San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom look like a homebody.

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Actually with all Sarah’s travel should we  as Americans be worried about Russia?  Because Governor Palin isn’t in her house enough these days to watch them.

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Governor Sarah Palin is travelling around the country claiming that  President Obama is  wasting taxpayer dollars with his expensive ideas. And this from a woman who went to New York and attended a Yankees game?

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Laura Bush says that her husband feels he owes some courtesy to the new President,  and thus won’t try to do or say anything to embarrass  Barack Obama. Besides,  Joe Biden is doing such a good job of it.
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As the NBA playoffs finally creep to a close, who knew that the Lakers might someday be known as the “Boys of Summer?”
 
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Rookie Marlins pitcher Sean West nearly no-hit the Giants Monday night. But really, isn’t no-hitting San Francisco’s lineup this year like winning a hot-dog eating contest with super models?
 
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The Minnesota Vikings have apparently issued an ultimatum to Brett Favre to make up his mind.  Actually Favre is great at making up his mind.  And then remaking it, and remaking it, and remaking it…
 
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Randy Johnson, 45, agreed to pitch on 3 days rest today for the San Francisco Giants against the Marlins.  Which no doubt was an act of valor designed to help the team.  And I am sure there was no chance that the fact he feels betrayed by Arizona management had nothing to do with it. 
 
 Because had the Big Unit taken his normal rest and pitched in Phoenix, it would have been a huge draw for the Diamondbacks, as no doubt thousands of fans would have bought last minute tickets and showed up to cheer their former pitcher for his first start after his 300th win.   Thousands more than would pay to see Cain,  Zito or Sanchez.     Nah, I’m sure that didn’t enter into his mind at all…

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We don’t need no stinking SATs

June 7, 2009

The University of Memphis said that their internal investigation showed no evidence of illegalities regarding their basketball players and SAT tests. They also told the NCAA they were eager to have the investigation wrapped up so their investigators could get back to their other job of helping O.J. find the real killers.

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The new Cowboys Stadium opened with a country music concert.  Let’s see, country songs are often about broken hearts,  drinking, cheating and trouble.   Yep, seems perfect for the Dallas Cowboys.

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Will Ferrell’s “Land of the Lost” had a disappointing opening at the box office.   Wonder how many people figured it was a documentary about the U.S. auto industry.

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Four buyers have emerged to try to keep the financially struggling NHL Phoenix Coyotes in Arizona.  Their first job, if they succeed, is to have more than four people buy Coyote season tickets.

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On ABC’s “This week”  Hillary Clinton indicated that she had originally not wanted to accept the Secretary of State job from President Obama.  But she changed her mind, some time after Barack told her that, unfortunately,  unlike being president there really wasn’t much of a role for a cabinet member’s spouse.

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And Hillary Clinton also said she had changed her mind about Obama’s readiness for that 3am phone call.  Even if when she calls at that time  Barack doesn’t usually know where Bill is either.

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Octomom Nayda Suleman will not divulge the name of her children’s biological father, but indicates that he would be upset that she used the sperm to have so many children.  Well, we may not know who he is, but that does eliminate Travis Henry.

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Los Angeles has been awarded the 2011 NBA All-Star game.   Apparently David Stern felt the Staples Center doesn’t get enough high-profile games and publicity. 

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Actually, the Staples Center has the most experience hosting meaningless relaxed exhibition games. The Clippers have meaningless down pat, and the Lakers treat much of the season like a relaxed exhibition.

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We’ve all changed our minds..

June 5, 2009

Brett Favre’s agent, Bus Cook, says of the currently-retired-at-this-moment quarterback  “We’ve all changed our minds, I guess.”

Isn’t this like someone saying of Bill Clinton ‘We’ve all lusted in our hearts?”

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Definition of eternity.  Joe Biden trying to compress his thoughts into a 140 character Twitter.

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The San Francisco Giants are celebrating Randy Johnson’s 300th win.  Even though out of that 300 win total, he has more wins against the Giants than with them.

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this one from Bill Littlejohn:  A doctor says that Lamar Odom‘s inconsistency in the playoffs is due to a large amount of candy consumption that leads to highs and crashes.So, when Lamar is on the court, I guess the Lakers go into a Twinkie Defense”

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Mine that Bird is being hyped as a great Canadian horse because he raced as a two year old in  Toronto despite being born in Kentucky.    Maybe it’s payback for the “American” teams – Pittsburgh and Detroit-  fighting for the Stanley Cup.  (Since most of them were born in Canada, and Europe.)

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President Obama opened his speech in Cairo with a greeting in coherent Arabic.   Much of the Muslim world was shocked.  “Tell us about it”, said all the Americans who are still getting used to our President opening a speech in coherent English.

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While Obama’s away…

June 4, 2009

Some are worried that with President Obama away in the Mideast, that Vice President Biden could get into trouble.  Not to worry,  Barack has simply given Joe an assignment to keep him busy – figure out how to Twitter.

(and if that joke makes no sense – Twitter requires that you get your thoughts down to 140 characters, maximum.)

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Lebron James has been fined $25,000 for skipping the media press conference after the Cavaliers’ loss to Orlando.    Barry Bonds was especially unhappy to hear it, he now figures for a few million a year he could have skipped all of them.

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Actually, if David Stern wants to really benefit the NBA maybe he shouldn’t fine Lebron for staying away from press conferences.  Maybe he should pay Mark Cuban to stay away from them.

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The Lakers team showed up tonight.  Unfortunately the Orlando team that showed up was more like Dopey, Sleepy and Grumpy.

Randy Johnson got his 300th win today in Washington against the Nationals.  With these historic events, over the year the people who will  claim  they were there will grow exponentially.  Why, twenty years from now over 200 people will say they were in the stadium.

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No wonder Randy felt so comfortable going for his 300th.  The crowd reminded him of his days with the Expos.

 

Randy Johnson once killed a bird by accidentally hitting him with a pitch. Awful luck. If he had only been hit by Jamie Moyer,  the bird would be telling the story to his grandchildren.

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To 300 and beyond – Randy Johnson

June 4, 2009

 Randy Johnson was planning to pitch for his 300th win Wednesday night against the Washington Nationals.  Before the game was finally postponed,  officials considered starting the game as late as 1130p.  Considering the Nationals’ league worst attendance, such a game might have been apt  – 300 wins, 300 fans.

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Johnson’s next chance for his 300th win is scheduled now for Thursday afternoon, in an unplanned  make-up game.  The expected miniscule crowd might be appropriate, after all, the Big Unit did start out with the Montreal Expos.

 

 

People paid $1000 to hear Joe Biden speak at a fundraiser.    Which in these times is quite a value –   That’s less than a penny a word.

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Alex Kaseberg’s take on the same subject….

In New York, Vice President Joe Biden gave a speech at a $1,000-a-plate fundraiser dinner. That’s nothing, people paid $10,000-a-plate to attend the “Joe Biden Will Not Speak” fundraiser dinner.

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President Obama is in the Mideast, but he left the dog behind.  Following  the precedent Secretary of State Hillary Clinton has been doing with Bill.

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Variation on an old joke.

The University of Memphis said their own internal investigation and found no proof that a player, thought to be Derrick Rose, had a stand-in take the SAT for him.  Apparently the investigation went like this – “Derrick, did you take the SAT?   “Why is there one missing?”

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The University of Memphis said their own internal investigation found no proof that a player cheated on the SAT.  Were these the same investigators who last year told John McCain to say “the fundamentals of our economy are strong?”

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500 strikeouts in Washington…

June 3, 2009

 

Tim Lincecum got his 500th strikeout Tuesday night.  Which is amazing.  He’s only 24 years old.  And he hasn’t been able to pitch against the Giants lineup.

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The last time there were 500 strikeouts in Washington, it was a Star Trek convention looking for dates to the final dinner..

 

The NBA finals are finally starting on Thursday.  The League’s goal is to have them finished in time for the 2009-10 preseason.

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The Obama puppy, Bo, chomped on a reporter’s microphone.  The President apologized profusely and said the dog made a mistake; they were training him to take the mike from Biden.

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Will Ferrell’s “Land of the Lost”  is opening Friday.    But I’m just not sure how interested Californians will be in a documentary on the Republican party..
 
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In the next issue of Rolling Stone,  American Idol runner-up Adam Lambert will apparently admit he is gay.  This will come as quite a shock to both people who are just getting over the discovery that Clay Aiken is gay.

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So now Americans have been told they will have to see their tax dollars continue to subsidize an aging relic from a past generation.  But the public financing from John McCain’s campaign is almost paid off.  It’s this GM thing that is troubling.. 

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Carly Fiorina wants to be a California senator, but she has only voted in about 20 percent of elections since she registered to vote in the State in 2000. Meg Whitman wants to be governor, but has voted in less than half the elections since she registered in 2002.

Don’t they understand?  You don’t miss votes until you get elected and then you start campaigning for your next office.

 

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The Ohio State Buckeyes were eliminated in the NCAA baseball regionals with back to back losses  – 24-8 to Georgia and 37-6 to Florida State.  (No, those aren’t typos.)   Only smiles around baseball diamonds in Columbus have to be on the faces of potential walk-on pitchers.

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Michelle and Barack’s Date Night

June 1, 2009

President Obama has been criticized for taking his wife to New York City for a dinner and Broadway show.  But come on,  Barack didn’t do anything ridiculously extravgant, like taking Michelle to a Yankees game.

 

Randy Johnson will be going for his 300th win when he takes the mound against the Washington Nationals.  Which is an incredible accomplishment.  300 wins.. as of today that’s three more than the Nationals.   (True, on June 1 in their fifth year, Washington only has 297 wins.) 

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Jamie Moyer, 46, just got his 250th win.  So means he too could end up with 300 wins,  maybe if he only pitches until 50.  Which curiously enough is now the speed of his fastball.

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The Octomom has signed a contract for a reality show.    Which might be the first time Nayda Sulelman and reality have been used in the same sentence.

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The Octomom has signed a contract  for a reality show.   But isn’t Nadya Suleman hosting a reality show like George W. Bush hosting “Are you smarter than a fifth grader?”

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Some worry that President Obama’s Supreme Court pick Sonia Sotomayor is such a champion of the underdog, that she will never be able to make a decision in favor of the rich and privileged.   How can they worry?  The woman is a Yankees fan.

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Manny and the Octomom

June 1, 2009

So first there’s “Jon and Kate Plus Eight,”, then there’s the Octomom, now there’s Manny Ramirez.  Remember the good old days when the most hype we had about prescription drugs was Viagra commercials.

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Manny Ramirez is now only about a month away from returning from his suspension for being caught with the fertility drug HCG in his system.  The Dodgers are eagerly awaiting his return, and apparently Joe Torre has personally volunteered to host the baby shower.

 

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In the NCAA baseball regionals,  The University of Texas beat Boston College 3-2 in 25 innings.  Yes, 25 innings.  Fans showed up for a baseball game, and a cricket match broke out.

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When the interminable NBA playoffs are over, the teams in the finals will have played over 100 games.  And the Lakers have shown up for at least ten of them.

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Nadya Suleman will apparently star with her fourteen children in a reality television show to be aired only in Britain.  Which is shocking really, there is a reality show that even Americans find too distasteful?

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Working titles for the show?

Fourteen’s Company?

Eight is not enough?

Unmarried..with Children?

Are you smarter than a Fertility Doctor?

Whatever they call it, perhaps they could borrow a classic television song….as in starting out “She’s  creepy and she’s  kooky…”

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The show’s viewers?  Presumably those who want something less intellectually challenging than “Jon and Kate plus eight.”

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President Obama and Michelle went on a “date night” up to New York.  Former President Bush said it sounded like a nice idea, and former President Clinton said “you can date your wife?”

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Some fans worry that since the Cleveland Cavaliers disappointedly lost in the NBA semi-finals, that Lebron James will want out of town.   Well, the Cavs could always trade him to the Clippers, where at least he won’t have to worry about playoff losses.

 

from Bill Littlejohn

Close to 200 prisoners will cycle around France next month in their own Tour de France.  .For the REAL Tour de France participants–finally someone to set a good example”

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True questions from Hawaii…

May 31, 2009

Under the “you can’t make this stuff up” category, today’s post is actual questions asked by tourists in Hawaii.  Or potential tourists to me, their travel agent.

And no,  I am not making any of this up.

 

Can you use U.S. money in Hawaii?

(and the corollary   – do you need a passport to go to Hawaii?”)

And once there…

To hotel staff : Do you live on the island?  And “So where do you get electricity?”

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Is there water on the other side of the island?

 

Can you swim under the island?

 

And my favoite” – “How do you keep the islands from floating apart?”

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Meltdowns

May 29, 2009

Carlos Zambrano was suspended for six games following his recent meltdown.  Which was shocking, since Cubs’ fans are not normally used to meltdowns before September.

 

Embattled Senator Roland Burris of Illinois now says that his conversations about fundraising and the Senate seat prove his innocence.  Right, like Manny Ramirez’s suspension proves that Major League Baseball had a real drug policy.

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Many sports fans across the United States are rooting for the Cavaliers to win the NBA championship, because the city of Cleveland has not won a major sports championshp since 1964.  Or as Cubs’ fans say,  ” only yesterday.”

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Commie pinko alert.

 

At this point it seems like President Obama’s first Supreme Court nominee will sail through the nomination process.    And if not, it will at least be interesting to see people compare her to Clarence Thomas.

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Cheaters and other jokes

May 27, 2009

The University of Memphis is under investigation for “major” rule violations, including “knowing fraudulence or misconduct” on the SAT exam by a player on their 2007-2008, team.  Apparently the NCAA became really suspicious when the unnamed player involved said  “What’s an SAT?”

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Manny Ramirez is rehabbing during his 50 game suspension with a minor league team.  In the best interests of baseball, some are asking that the rehab be with the Nationals.

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Randy Johnson got his 299th win on Wednesday night.   He will go for win 300 next Wednesday.  Which means another  potential milestone  with  an asterisk  – next Wednesday the Giants are playing the Nationals.

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From the very funny Alex Kaseberg.  Very tacky.  Wish I had written it:

The latest rumor is that Alex Rodriguez was making out in a New York club with Kate Hudson. It looks like A-Rod is trying to pull a Capt “Sully” Sullenberger: get lucky and land on the Hudson.

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The Blue Jays lost their ninth game in a row.  Which is making this one of the worst months of May ever in Toronto.   Although to be fair, the Maple Leafs seldom play in May.

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Wednesday night was the season premier of  “Wipeout.”    And not just the Nuggets’ fourth quarter in Los Angeles.

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First he talked about how he and Bristol basically lived together at her mother Sarah’s  house.  Now Levi Johnston has said in an interview that Bristol Palin’s father, Todd, repeatedly offered her a car if she would break up with him.   Proving once again, if you are going to throw someone under the bus, you had better have puncture-proof tires.

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Judges and puppets and other craziness..

May 27, 2009

Nike clearly hopes for a Lakers- Cavaliers NBA final, and in fact already has a commercial featuring Kobe and Lebron puppets.

If the Nuggets and Magic end  up in the finals instead, will they be known as the “Put a sock in them” puppets?

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For anyone who thinks President Obama’s first pick for a Supreme Court Justice is unqualified, two words:  Harriet Miers.

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Dick Cheney has already come out against Barack Obama’s Supreme Court pick.   And former President Bush is still giggling trying to say “Sonia Sotomayor” three times real fast.
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Dahntay Jones was assessed a flagrant foul after the league reviewed game tape that showed him tripping Kobe Bryant.   This could lead to a suspension if he does it again, along with the undying appreciation of most NBA fans outside of Los Angeles.

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Zack Greinke is now 8-1 for the Kansas City Royals.  It’s not that the Royals aren’t used to eight wins in May. But usually it’s the team effort.

 

Sonia Sotomayor, the first Latina nominee to the Supreme Court, is a New Yorker of Puerto Rican descent.   Republicans, casting at any straws in hopes of derailing her nomination, are wondering if there is a history of her ruling in Sharks v. Jets.

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Judge Sotomayor issued the injunction that ended the baseball strike of 1994-1995, which brought major league baseball back after 232 days.  Although the timing of her decision may have contributed to the demise of the Montreal Expos, and their eventually becoming the Washington Nationals.  Despite this,  fans in D.C.  still largely support her.

 

Some credit Sotomayor with saving major league baseball.  As opposed to all those balls that suddenly started flying out of ballparks after the strike for no officially discernable reason.

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Minor league action…

May 26, 2009

Kraft cheese singles is offering a buy-one, get one free special on minor league baseball games.  Does that include the Nationals?

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The Patriots and Redskins became the first teams to sign licensing deals with state-sponsored lotteries after the NFL approved ”  Which is particularly odd because neither of them are named for a state.

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Star Trek continues to do well at the box office.   Though it will now face competition from the new small budget horror film for trekkies – “The Girlfriend Experience.”

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Actually the state of Michigan is trying to license a state lottery with the Detroit Lions.  Although people who are willing to spend money for such a slim chance to win are already season ticket holders.

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Television executives have been counting on a Kobe-Lebron showdown in the NBA finals.  The way things are going, however, they may still get that matchup-  but tee times will be involved.

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The NHL has been trying to work out a deal with NBC about televising the Stanley Cup finals.  In hopes of higher ratings, the network wanted to start the finals 10 days after the last semi-final game.

Fortunately for the league, a poll was done of U.S hockey fans and the idea was rejected by both of them.

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Emerging from the undisclosed location

May 25, 2009

So Dick Cheney, who spent most of his eight years as Vice President largely silent and hidden from view in an “undisclosed location,” has now emerged as one of the most visible critics of the new administration. 

And in a display of bipartisanship, President Obama has asked Cheney if he could suggest Joe Biden follow the same model.

 

One in four Americans admit that they text while driving.  Of the other three, two say they only text while stopped in traffic or at a red light.  And the other one says “what’s a text?”

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Arizona Senator John Kyl says he and fellow Republicans may filibuster if President Obama nominates a Supreme Court justice who decides cases based on “emotions or feelings”   Said Dick Cheney – “What are emotions or feelings?”

 

So one question, as President Obama nears his choice for a Supreme Court justice.  Will that nominee be decided before the Senate race between Al Franken and Norm Coleman is decided?

Okay, two questions.  Will there be another election before that Senate race is decided.

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The Orlando Magic are leading their playoff series against the Cleveland Cavaliers 2-1, and are a last second Lebron James shot away from leading 3-0.   Meanwhile, the Los Angeles Lakers are involved in a close series with the Denver Nuggets, and could also easily have been down 3-0.

A Nuggets-Magic NBA final?  David Stern saying he would relish such a matchup would be almost as believable as Bud Selig’s denial of baseball’s steroid problems.

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Billionaire Tom Golisano says he is moving to Florida because New York has become too expensive.   Apparently not even a billionaire can now afford to take his family to a Yankee game.

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Today is Memorial Day, a serious time for Americans to remember those who have given their lives for this country.  And less seriously but more practically in recent times, to remember how much lower gas prices were the week before Memorial Day. 

 

and finally from Jim Barach,

The CDC says that people older than 52 may have swine flu immunity from previous exposure to the strain. In a related story, the CDC also says that John McCain is immune from the Black Plague.

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Car 54 where are you?

May 24, 2009

For anyone who remembers  “Car 54 where are you?,” apparently it’s now a reality show in Mountain View, California.

After a rock concert a police officer in a “lapse of judgment,” according to the San Francisco Chronicle, left the keys in the ignition for “a few minutes.”

The car was last seen “speeding and sort of showboating” on a nearby street Friday night.  As of Saturday night, the car, actually car 3006, has not been found.

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Kobe Bryant and his wife have filed a countersuit against their housekeeper, who had previously sued them for intolerable working conditions.  This could get messy. Wonder what happened to get it to this point…was Kobe’s jeweller unavailable for assistance?

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In Major League Baseball interleague action this weekend the Baltimore Orioles (18-25) are playing the Washington Nationals (12-30.)   For fan interest and high-level competition this has to rival the annual congressional softball game.

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Okay, political commentary to follow.  Conservatives can stop reading now…

 

The latest Guantanamo controversy is the idea that if we close the prison and send the prisoners to the U.S., that our country will be less safe having these potential terrorists on our shores. 

So here in California maybe it’s time for medals for the  Marin county residents we’ve been lampooning for years …when they’ve been living with serial killers and other death row inmates in their backyard at San Quentin for years.

I’m willing to concede the need to keep potential terrorists in a safe place.  What bothers me, however, is the thought that our maximum security prisons don’t qualify.

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You can’t make this up – reality show edition

May 23, 2009

So let’s see, Kate Gosselin of “Jon and Kate plus eight” is now complaining about excessive media attention.  Which besides being distressing is presumably making it hard to do her job…which is, raising her kids on a reality television show.    

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The San Francisco Giants lost yet ANOTHER game 2-1 Friday night, this time in twelve innings.  Their third 2-1 loss in four days.  (Their fourth loss was 3-2) 

It’s not so much that sports fans can’t deal with all these losses, it’s that usually with these scores, penalty kicks are involved.

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You think somewhere, someday a couple years ago,  somebody in Giants management  said “Dear God, please rid us from the taint of steroids and performance enchancing drugs?”   If so, mission accomplished.

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Okay, what’s wrong with this picture.  American Idol season two runner-up Clay Aiken said on his website  he tunes into the show about once a season.  He said this year, he saw Adam Lambert do “Ring of Fire”  and that it was  “contrived,” “awful” and “slightly frightening.”

But Aiken also complained that he thought the series showed bias for Adam over the eventual winner, Kris.

But, okay, Lambert’s  version of “Ring of Fire” was not well received by the judges. So either Clay has turned in more than one a season, or he’s making it all up. Or both. 

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Bristol Palin is quoted in People Magazine as saying  ” If girls realized the consequences of sex, nobody would be having sex. Trust me. Nobody.”

But okay, by that token, if people really realized the painful consequences of a whole lot of things that started out just as lighthearted fun, there would be no DUIs, no drug arrests, and no one would raise their child to be a Cubs fan.

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Win one for the Clipper?

May 22, 2009

Notre Dame’s football team is considering scheduling a game at Yankee Stadium.     So for that game will be team’s motto be “Win one for the Clipper?”

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So why would the Fighting Irish want to play in Yankee Stadium.  It’s home to an over-hyped, over-rated team with fans who have an over-inflated sense of their own self-importance.  Oh. Never mind.

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The NFL has decided to allow teams to sign licensing deals with state lotteries.  The Patriots were the first to sign a deal, with the state of… New England?

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Apparently the state of Michigan is talking to the Detroit Lions.   Such lottery tickets are likely to be very popular.  As Lions fans who buy tickets will have a better chance of winning the lottery than seeing their team win.

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So for the second time, Sean Penn and Robin Wright appear to have put their divorce plans on hold and are attempting a reconciliation.  Even Brett Favre is saying, “Dudes, make up your minds.”

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The San Francisco Giants continue their terrible hitting.  Especially when they have men on base.  In fact,  if this keeps up, A T and T park will have a new area code – 643.

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Former  Governor Rod Blagojevich is forbidden from leaving the country. But his wife  Patti will leave him with the family in Illinois for a while, and  take his place on the reality show in Costa Rica.   I think her reasoning was “Now I’m married to a celebrity, get me out of here.”

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