Archive for December 2017

Over and out.

December 31, 2017

So did the #Pac12 get together & make a mutual pact to take bowl season off?

 

So Miami coach Mark Richt’s response in the Orange Bowl to what he thought was a missed holding call was to hold an official?

On other hand, Richt got his team a 15 yard penalty but stayed in game. So one  thing learned from bowl weekend.    If you’re going to touch referee, you’d better be a white coach & not a black running back. #MarkRicht #BennySnell

Louisville’s Lamar Jackson had a mixed game in a bowl loss to Mississippi State,  329 yds (171 passing & 158 rushing),  along with 3 TDs & FOUR interceptions.

On a brighter note, the interceptions might have reduced his chances of being drafted by the Browns.

At Fiesta Bowl, with weather in 70s, roof was closed & AIR CONDITIONING is on. Most of rest of USA either thinking “We hate you” or planning to move to Arizona.

 

So will Papadopoulos blame his loose lips on too much covfefe?

 

If #Papadopoulos spilled details on Hillary email & Russia after a few glasses at a wine bar, can only imagine what he might have said after a few fabulous martinis at say, Dukes Hotel.

 

“There was no collusion, and even if there was, it’s not a crime.” Whoever thought we’d miss ” I am not a crook.”

Who says Trump has no sense of comedy.   Right.  He doesn’t “like” to use Social Media like he won’t benefit from GOP tax bill…

“I use Social Media not because I like to, but because it is the only way to fight a VERY dishonest and unfair “press,” now often referred to as Fake News Media. Phony and non-existent “sources” are being used more often than ever. Many stories & reports a pure fiction!”

On other hand,  how I’d love to be trying to write jokes about how #NewYearsEve would be so cold in DC Hillary Clinton would be ordering fleece-lined pantsuits for White House.

12 angry universities?

December 30, 2017

USC’s Sam Darnold got  sacked & hurried so often in Cotton Bowl he should be well-prepared for life if he ends up #1 NFL draft pick of Cleveland Browns.

-Maybe awful bowl performances in 2017 are all part of a plot to lull #SEC into scheduling more inter-conferences games with #Pac12 in future.

Or maybe that West Coast Pac 12 bowl malaise is contagious & Friday night even affecting Warriors.
A feeling I am not used to….. feeling a bit sorry for USC. #CottonBowl
RIP Sue Grafton. U is for Ugh. Even if you didn’t get through the whole series, Kinsey Millhone has been a detective women could really root for..
If we took @realDonaldTrump’s name off @NYTimes interview & said it was excerpts from some random elderly person’s dementia exam, guessing most people call it a slam-dunk diagnosis.
Months after Maria, barely half of Puerto Rico has power.  Just imagine if Trump had given himself only a “7” instead of “10.)
Northern California man is going to prison for being a felon in possession of a firearm. He was caught because he posted videos of himself firing guns at a shooting range. #cantfixstupid
If #FoxandFriends ever took a hiatus who would tell @realDonaldTrump what to think?  Or more importantly, what to tweet?
Marco Rubio now says the GOP tax bill gives too much to corporations. So he was against it before he was for it, and now he’s against it.   Even Brett Favre is saying “‘Dude, make up your mind.”
And gosh, if there was any other vote Rubio could have made other than yes?
As we start the countdown to the countdown for New Year’s Eve, how many join me in hoping Time’s 2018 Person of the Year is Robert Mueller?
So Trump tweets angrily this am about USPS needing to make more money. Then fires rest of his HIV/AIDS advisory panel by Fed Ex letter?
“Nice” job by United tonight for a client. SF to LAX flight – scheduled 902p to 1045p
SFO/OUT 859P SFO/OFF 917P
LAX/ON 1010P LAX/IN 1106p
Translation in English, early departure, 18 min on tarmac at SFO, time in air, 53 minutes, time waiting for a gate at LAX, 54 minutes. 21 minutes late.
But hey, airlines need less regulation now, not more…right?

A bit chippy?

December 29, 2017

 

In Texas, a truck crashed & spilled 40,000 lbs of avocados on I-35 just south of Dallas. “Holy guacamole, Batman.”

The incident was almost as embarrassing as the Cowboys’s season.

Heisman winning QB Baker Mayfield said he was sick & didn’t go with Oklahoma’s Disneyland California Adventure Park. Hmm, a Mickey Mouse excuse?

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On other hand,  Disneyland had a massive power outage that stranded some guests on rides. If those rides included “It’s a Small World” wonder how many might claim PTSD afterward.

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You could tell Purdue fans in San Francisco  for Foster Farms Bowl. They were ones walking around in shirtsleeves and shorts in 60 degree weather. And grinning.
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Consolation for Stanford fans in #AlamoBowl….. at least anyone who bet on #Cardinal as 3-points underdogs ending up winning.

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Okay, where’s @realDonaldTrump’s defense of @Saints rookie RB?
Except that Sean Payton & Drew Brees have both made reasonable political statements.

NFL ‘Grinch’ fines Kamara for holiday-themed cleats

Apple in announcing reduced battery prices. “We have never-& would never-do anything to intentionally shorten life of any Apple product, or degrade user experience to drive customer upgrades.” I like “pushed into lifeboat better.”

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If @realDonaldTrump were actually doing as good a job as President as he claims why would he care if Americans knew he was golfing?

and hey, if you have to get a truck to block press view of you golfing you just might be doing too much golfing.

 –
 Lindsay Lohan posted on Instagram about being bitten by a snake while on vacation in Thailand. I miss days when Lindsay Lohan stories were craziest headlines in US.

People MIGHT pay more attention to bowl games if we could do office pools on them. Except that most offices close last week in December.

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Guessing Stanford Athletic Dept won’t be sending marketing emails to fans & alums saying “Remember the Alamo.” #AlamoBowl

 Waiting to see how long it takes Roy Moore to condemn “liberal” Alabama judges.
If  @realDonaldTrump were actually doing as good a job as President as he claims why would he care if Americans knew he was golfing?

Lindsay Lohan posted on Instagram about being bitten by a snake while on vacation in Thailand. I miss days when Lindsay Lohan stories were craziest headlines in US.

 · 

People MIGHT pay more attention to bowl games if we could do office pools on them. Except that most offices close last week in December.

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After hours

December 27, 2017

 

NFL changing several week 17 games to several hours later. @Redskins & @Giants would have been happy had they changed their game to next pre-season.

-Some wonder why I root for San Antonio Spurs. And then I wonder, how can you not? – Gregg Popovich on why charity matters “Because we’re rich as hell & we don’t need it all,& other people need it Then, you’re an ass if you don’t give it. Pretty simple.”

 

Duke vs Northern Illinois Tuesday. “I’ll take teams that should be a March Madness instead of a bowl matchup for $400, Alex.”

 

Last home games in Nashville & Baltimore will now be at night in winter because @NFL thinks it’s more fair with teams trying for playoffs. Same that logic didn’t apply for scheduling Thursday Night Football.

At Orlando airport this morning, there were major TSA delays after passenger w/ concealed-carry permit tried to bring a gun & ammunition in his carry-on bag. Back on your game, Florida.

Actual talk in Britain that Prince Harry is thinking of inviting the Obamas to his comparatively small wedding, but not Trump. And that some in government are worried it will upset the President and cause problems for US-Britain relations.

Three words for Harry from the USA “Just do it.”

 

AP reports that Trump has not had a single State dinner as President. Makes sense – he can’t make a profit off of a meal he serves at the White House.

 

The White House is removing a centuries-old Jackson Magnolia tree.  Now apparently the tree is old and sick and arborists have been trying to treat it for some time. But guessing they could have got Trump’s permission just by saying it was Obama’s favorite.

 

 

As media tries so hard to find stories of Trumpsters who still support @realDonaldTrump wouldn’t it be easier to interview members at Mar-A-Lago & Bedminster?

Happy Boxing Day

December 26, 2017

n England, Dec 26 is known as “Boxing Day.”   Wonder if in USA Dec 25 became “Boxing Day” or maybe just “Punching Day” as liberals ended up having to spend all day w/ pro-Trump relatives?

So if saying “Merry Christmas” is defending Christianity shouldn’t that mean celebrating Cinco de Mayo is defending Mexican immigrants?

So Christmas Day we all finally stop getting those emails for last-minute shopping opportunities. And start getting them for after-Christmas sales.

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And now that Trump thinks he’s won the war on Christmas, what’s next?  A demand next year that we only wish each other a White Christmas?

Sad news.  RIP Heather Menzies Urich, 68 -, “Louisa,” Or as we should say “So, long, farewell….Auf wiedersehen, goodbye.

So will the NY Jets’ motto for next season be “At least we suck less than the NY Giants?”

Santa didn’t bring SF Giants fans everything we wished for. But maybe we can pick up a power-hitter in the after-Christmas sales?

Nice for a change that Twitter is erupting over Kevin Durant’s non-foul call on LeBron James instead of over a Trump tweet.

Raiders put a punctuation mark on an awful second half of the season, by allowing five turnovers in the 2nd half of tonight’s game against the Eagles.    At this point some Oakland fans have to be wondering…. can they get that Vegas stadium built any faster?

Cowboys owner Jerry Jones, after missing the playoffs. “I feel good about our head coach.” Translation, I haven’t figured who I want to replace him with yet.

A JetBlue flight tonight from Savannah to Boston skidded off the runway into the snow at Logan Airport tonight. No injuries, and since JetBlue has Direct TV, maybe passengers at least got to see themselves make the news?

Russia has barred opposition leader Alexey Navalny from running against Putin in 2018. Trump is thinking “You can do that?”

 

Barack Obama sent out a Merry Christmas tweet and it got more likes than any tweet Trump sent out this year.

A child was born….

December 25, 2017

 

After giving birth in Sept, Serena Williams will return to competitive tennis this weekend in Abu Dhabi.  Four words  “Weaker sex my ass.”

In a crazy and uncertain world we should perhaps thank #Browns for being a model of consistency this season.

Saints today beat the Falcons in game that included a #buttpick & a #buttfumble” Are we sure Mark Sanchez wasn’t somehow involved?

Not that they needed it against the bills but it wouldn’t be Christmas without the referees giving the Patriots another absurd call.

Almost half the 41 bowl games have been played already.   Can anyone name one?
Yeah, I’m an admitted big Drew Brees fan.  And tonight he tweeted “That win was for you today, Who Dat Nation! You made it happen! Now Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!”
That moment when an NFL quarterback from a small-market team has a more inclusive and generous holiday message than the President of the United States.

President Trump & Melania helped take #NORAD calls today. Did Donald tell the kids Santa would do better on a Trump plane?

“You all just got a lot richer,” Trump to friends at #MaraLago. No wonder he hates the media. They have nasty habit of reporting what he says.

 

Got to love Trump tweeting “I am proud to have led the charge against the assault of our cherished and beautiful phrase. MERRY CHRISTMAS” from the most Jewish part of South Florida.

 

At Mar-A-Lago do they show a version of where George Bailey jumps off that bridge & Potter’s dearest slumlord dreams come true?

Pretty sure most Americans, Christian or not, don’t think “Merry Christmas” is offensive. Saying you’ve saved “Merry Christmas,” now THAT’s offensive.

Remember those innocent Christmases past when political comics used to think “Dear Santa, all I want is a steady daily supply of good material?”

And finally, to all my readers, regular and random. Merry Christmas or whatever you celebrate.  We have to keep laughing. Otherwise the bad guys win.

Easing into the holiday

December 24, 2017

A number of people are taking Christmas weekend off. Including so far at this point,  the Golden State Warriors.

14 college football bowl games played already. Can anybody name one?

As Trump vents from his phone at Mar-A-Lago thinking how nice it might be for America if he spent more afternoons in front of TV just watching sports.

Los Angeles animal shelters considering feeding dogs an all vegan diet. Seriously.  Your move, Berkeley.

So NFL ratings down for anthem protests? Or for injuries, increasing proof of CTE… and the fact there are a lot of seriously lousy teams?

 

Wyoming QB Josh Allen says he will enter NFL draft & forgo his senior year of eligibility. Wow. Giving up perhaps chance for 2nd win in Famous Idaho Potato Bowl?

6-6 Florida State had to issue statement declaring Delaware State a valid FCS opponent, because without thatt 77-6 win Seminoles wouldn’t have been eligible for the… Walk-On Independence Bowl?!

How the mighty have fallen.

 

Facebook ads for Christmas Eve Brunch with wine starting at 11a. Well, one way to avoid family stress later in the day is to be asleep by dinner time.

Miss America CEO & others have resigned over derogatory emails about contestants & pageant winners. How long until they get offered jobs in Trump administration?

Isn’t Christmas a time to be grateful to those who give us gifts? And here Trump is trashing Comey again after former FBI director gave him the Presidency.

Bomb squad called to Steven Mnuchin’s mansion found instead, literally, gift-wrapped horse shit. Which actually seems like a perfect metaphor for #GOPTaxBill

Trump reportedly furious about anonymous sources who claimed he made derogatory remarks about Haitians & Nigerians. Will he tweet “Many people are saying this proves @NYTimes is #FakeNews?”

As we’ve turned the corner on Winter Solstice days are slowly getting less dark. Maybe a metaphor for the country? #Alwaysdarkestbeforethedawn#WecanDream #Resist

Not ready for primetime?

December 22, 2017

Friday night, Dec 22,  and there have already been 11 bowl games.   Wonder how many non-alums or family members of schools involved can name the teams involved in any of them?

 

UCLA announced basketball players, Cody Riley & Jalen Hill, arrested along w/ LiAngelo Ball in China, will not play any of 2017-18 season. Translation, neither were expected to star on the team

Police on scene after “former stadium worker” apparently tried to gain access to Lambeau Field. Hope it wasn’t Brett Favre screaming “I can still play!!!”

Awful that it’s come to having #DickEnberg, who seemed one of best guys in sports, trend because he died, and thinking “thank God HE wasn’t accused of sexual harassment.”

 

Is there a place to add people to Santa’s naughty list for parking SUV’s in compact spaces?

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An elderly couple driving from California to East Coast were stopped by police who found 60 lbs of marijuana in car. They said the pot was for Christmas. Millions of Americans wish they had grandparents like that.

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Who knew an event that still features a swimsuit competition in 2017 might have a sexist CEO? #MissAmerica
Bitcoin has fallen 30% in a week. But now at least will every purchaser of bitcoin get a free tulip bulb or Beanie Baby?
Just imagine if Obama was going to Hawaii for Christmas & taxpayers were paying to put Secret Service up in a private club he owned….
Trump just basically endorsed Ron DeSantis for Governor of Florida. And Democrats are thinking “Thank you, Santa.”

Former Trump SoHo New York has been renamed . Hmm, any way we can do that to the White House?

Bus to hell time. Six bodies were found in Mexico near La Paz and Cabo San Lucas suspended from bridges. Police say the six deaths are being investigated as homicides. Uh, just guessing they weren’t suicides.

Fox and Friends suggested US build a northern wall to protect us from Canada. Why not wait? Soon Canada might build wall to protect them from us.

Ohio just became 3rd state to ban doctors from performing abortions when fetus is diagnosed w/ Downs Syndrome. Now, that’s can be a really tough decision for a pregnant woman. But I’d believe the “pro-life” position a lot more if the states also promised funds to help care for a baby born with Downs through its lifetime.

 

Forget PC, #PrettyWoman is a pretty fun movie to watch around holidays. Especially for all those who appreciate all-American sport of shopping. #BigMistakeHuge

Missed it by THAT much

December 21, 2017

NFL tells officials not to use index cards to measure 1st downs. The way officiating has been going this year might be more appropriate to use toilet paper.

 

Lakers guard Kentavious Caldwell-Pope is actually serving a 25-day jail sentence but playing home games under a work release program.
So will a similar plan soon be in place for staff in Trump White House?

 

 

Another 2017 Bummer. RIP Dick Enberg. Though in a long life he really did “touch em all.”

 

FBI documents allege Adidas paid Brian Bowen’s father $100,000 for recruit to sign w/ Louisville. Bowen says he knows “nothing about it”, has never talked about it with his dad, even though he and his father are “closer than ever.” Almost enough to make you miss “tainted supplements.

 

“Spare the Air” alerts mean San Francisco Bay Area homes can’t have actual wood fires in their fireplaces Christmas Eve. Well, good news at least for Santa.

In Spanish regional elections, Catalonia secessionist parties tonight declared victory. Blue states in US thinking “You can do that?”

 

Yet another reason companies should hire more women – heck of a lot less likely they’ll have to be fired for sexual harassment.

Inserted into tax bill-, pro athletes may no longer deduct agents’ commissions from their salaries. Trump must really not want any more championship teams visiting him in White House.

Ivanka, while taking some credit for tax bill, “I spent a lot of time with Sen. Corker as well and he had real integrity around this process.” #CorkerKickback#whythereisnosatire

Americans who pay attention to Fox News must be feeling pretty good about the prospects for impeaching President Hillary Clinton.

Ted Cruz – With GOP bill, everyone’s taxes will go down except “rich people in Manhattan and SF.” Uh, Ted. “average effective property tax rate in Texas 1.94%, 4th highest rate of any state.”

As ghastly as thought of Steve Bannon running for President is, the thought of a Bannon-Trump debate sounds like must-see TV.

Millionaires and billionaires needed a tax cut like Mar-A-Lago needed to raise their prices for New Year’s Eve.

Right-wing website blamed Doug Jones’ win in Alabama on a coalition of “Muslims, Hispanics and mainly black Christians.” Don’t forget women. And sorry guys, we can and will vote. Even more outside of Alabama.

Upsetting?

December 20, 2017

UNC expected to be hard hit by GOP Tax Bill eliminating tax deductible donations to buy football/basketball tickets. But did anyone expect it this fast? #Wofford

Wonder how many San Franciscans who are not really sports fans are thinking “Wait, what is Eva Longoria doing with the Giants?”

Welcome to San Francisco Evan Longoria. Hoping you like SF Giants as much as you will like AT&T Park compared to Tropicana Field.  And yeah, those people in the stands you will now seee regularly are called “fans.”

 

Eva Longoria & Evan Longoria are not  related. But Eva’s a fan, and pretty sure SF Giants will be happy to get her good seats to any AT&T park games she wants to attend.

MLB commissioner Manfred on Marlins’ fire sale “This (Jeter) group has a long-term commitment to winning.” Of course, that “winning” might be in the Bronx.

Lavar Ball says he will  start basketball league where top HS prospects get paid $10k a month instead of going to college. Well, except for players at some colleges that might be a pay cut.

So when does Jacob Marley show up at Mar-A-Lago for Christmas dinner?

Rosie O’Donnell taking heat for offering Senators Flake & Collins $2 million to vote against #GOPTaxScamBill, a bribe which is a felony. Silly @Rosie, the only legal bribes for Senators have to be written into legislation.

If Mike Pence gets any more fawning with Trump the V.P.’s wife may not let him have any more dinners alone with Donald.

So GOP Tax Bill  gets passed on the 2nd shortest day of 2017.   #Itsalwaysdarkestbeforethedawn

Alabama Acting Senator Luther Strange, who voted for GOP Tax Bill is already out of office. How many more Senators & Reps will follow him in 2018?

GOP Tax bill  talks about “unborn children” as part of party’s anti-abortion strategy, but Republicans still can’t fund CHIP. So it’s “we fight for you in utero but once born you ingrates are on your own?” #WTF

At least corporate America’s PR attempts before the holidays will put some money in workers’ pockets in 2017. Easy to toss some crumbs when you’ve been gifted a BIG golden loaf.

Of course if Donald Trump were telling truth & #GOPTaxBillScam doesn’t benefit him he could easily prove it by releasing tax returns.

Chris Christie put Jared Kushner’s father in jail, Jared got Chris kicked out of Trump administration. Now Christie says Kushner deserves scrutiny in the Mueller investigation. Mean bitch karma loves symmetry

From T.C.   “Lakers retired both of Kobe’s two jersey numbers this week (#8 & #24). He then tries to convince the wife he that he never lead a double life.

Tic toc

December 20, 2017

A week after election,  Roy Moore still hasn’t conceded. But to be fair, it’s a really busy time at the mall.

 

There was a college football bowl game tonight. Serious points if you can name it without Google!

After two years of ZERO players named to the Pro Bowl, New Orleans Saints had six in 2017. Hope Roger Goodell doesn’t see those numbers and decide to make it a punishable offense.

 

Carolina LB Thomas Davis’s 2-game suspension for illegal helmet hit on Davante Adams reduced to 1. So he’ll only miss Tampa Bay. Translation, NFL wants people to watch Panthers-Falcons Dec 31.

After FAU’s first 10 win season ever, Lane Kiffin gets 10-year coaching contract. And if Kiffin stays successful with the Owls he’ll serve out about two years of it.

I miss the days when Colts sneaking out of town in middle of night was biggest travesty in the Baltimore-DC metropolitan area. #GOPTaxScamBill

The only truth about “job creation” in #GOPTaxScamBill is how many more jobs it will create for accountants & lawyers to exploit loopholes in this so-called simplification.

Cardinal Bernard Law, 86, former archbishop of Boston who protected pedophile priests, has died. Hope he likes really warm temperatures.

Many Democratic Senators are millionaires too. But Dems, unlike GOP, are capable of voting against their own personal self-interest to help average constituents

#SusanCollins says coverage of her tax vote is “unbelievably sexist.” Maybe because we still expect women to be more principled than men?

#GOPTaxBill will eliminate deductions for losses caused by fires, flooding & most natural disasters like tornadoes. Good thing for Trump voters those never happen in Red States.

Ben Carson in Puerto Rico, recovery is ‘better than what I had heard.” Uh, how can it be better than the 10 out of 10 your boss gave himself?

Sarah and Todd Palin may not bail their son out of jail in time for Christmas. And you think your family holidays are awkward.

Couple near LA arrested for trying to sell young sons for drugs. What kind of monsters try to sell little children? Now, teenagers many parents would give away….

As it appears increasingly likely that human error and/or reckless speeding caused yesterday’s Amtrak crash, another reminder that we have less to fear from terrorism than stupidity.

 

 

Mainstream Republicans went from hating Trump to his partners-in-crime on GOP tax bill.   Turds of a feather….

In Kobe’s honor – don’t pass the popcorn?

December 18, 2017

While Lakers retire Kobe’s jerseys, just pointing out that he is a year YOUNGER than Manu Ginobili. Who’s still winning games for Spurs.

Kobe Bryant was a great player. Convenient timing though in today’s climate that his rape case was 14 years ago.

Now American 100 meter world champion Justin Gatlin is reportedly being investigated for alleged doping. Enough to make you long for purity of pro wrestling.

After last night’s Dallas-Oakland game can we say refs are card-carrying members of the #Cowboys fan club?

UCF’s Scott Frost wins AP Coach of the Year. Pretty amazing to have an undefeated season when much of the world didn’t even know Central Florida had a football team.

Difference between the 2017 #Browns and #RoyMoore. The Browns have at least conceded.

Six days after the election, Roy Moore has not conceded. Well, it is a pretty busy time at the mall.

ESPN President John Skipper resigns due to a self-described addiction problem. And these days people are just relieved that as far as we know he didn’t sexually harass anyone.

 

Senate intelligence committee is now reportedly investigating Jill Stein. If there is one person both many Dems and GOP would like to see indicted…

Dear Santa: If a tax cut is not enough could you bring people who drive expensive cars some working turn signals. Pretty clear they don’t have them.

A Breitbart writer claims that “Feminist witches” are trying to hex Trump.    Hey, if feminist witches had that much power they’d be attending President Hillary Clinton’s Christmas parties.

Anyone who uses a work email address knows employers can read their email. But Trumpsters somehow thought their .gov emails were special?#cantfixstupid

Love how Trump team that came into power partly because of hacked PERSONAL emails, is now whining about legitimately obtained government emails.

Trump tweets about “soon to be submitted” infrastructure plan…. Meaning he wants Jared to start writing one?

“The America First Committee was the foremost United States non-interventionist pressure group against the American entry into World War II. It was also characterized by anti-semitic and pro-fascist rhetoric. Wikipedia”#AmericaFirst#WTF?

The one that got away…

December 18, 2017

Robbie Gould, cut by Chicago last year is 30-32 on FG & has made 20 in a row. His replacement Connor Barth is 11 for 16. That’s so Bears #DaBears

On the other hand, good news for Bears fans.  A win against the Browns is on next Sunday’s schedule.

Announcers for #GBvsCAR talking about how well Packers fans travel to away games. They’re great team w/ great fans…but if you had ANY reason to get out of Green Bay in December..?

With Christmas Eve next Sunday, and lots of shopping and preparation for the holiday,  have to wonder how many NFL fans took this Sunday off .   Of course no one expected the Seahawks to join them.

Top HS QB prospect Justin Fields has committed to Georgia over Florida State. Seminoles feeling crabby? Or crab-leggy?

Power outage at Atlanta airport, a Delta hub, strands thousands of passengers. American and United immediately introduce electricity surcharge.

Headlines that more than 300 people out of 5,000 on a Royal Caribbean Cruise ship got sick norovirus this week. Wow, that’s almost as many as the number of passengers on any given morning who were hungover.

Trump lawyer accuses Mueller of obtaining emails illegally – so former FBI director should have just had Russia get them for him?

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Putin reportedly called Trump to thank CIA for tip that helped stop a St. Petersburg bombing. That moment when Pres. of Russia is more positive about U.S. Intelligence than Pres of US…

I understand why people who’re just getting by would do anything for big tax cut. But when you have more $$$ than you can spend in a lifetime? #CorkerKickback

Senator Corker said he had no idea about the provision introduced at the last minute into the GOP tax bill that will save him over $1 million in tax a year. I think I like “pushed into a lifeboat” better.

Anyone else think Mnuchin’s Treasury department has spent less time actually analyzing #GOP tax bill than his wife Louise Linton spent making her designer clothing & jewelry Christmas wish list.

Because Trump thinks he’s done enough already? Tax bill would impose a 20% tax on goods made in Puerto Rico & shipped to mainland. #WTF?

Not quite bowled over.

December 17, 2017

Heard ABC today suggest viewers stay tuned for the “Post Game Trophy Presentation” after Las Vegas Bowl. Thinking if you actually want to watch and don’t have a relative on Boise State football team, you may need an intervention.

Kobe Bryant’s jersey will be retired Monday night at Staples Center. In his honor will Lakers ask fans not even to pass the popcorn?

With three starters out,  including Tony Parker and Kawhi Leonard,, and down 9 points with 3 minutes to go today, Spurs went on 13-0 run to win game against Mavericks. It is just possible that Gregg Popovich is a very very good coach.

As of Dec 16, three next #TNF  (Thursday night football)  games are on Saturday night. Just in case anyone still thought it wasn’t all about $$$.

If HHS has to start calling ACA “Obamacare,” can we start calling the GOP Tax Bill “Trumpdoesntcare”?

Granted it’s stupid to put anything in “private” text you wouldn’t want to see printed in newspaper. But who at FBI or indeed most professions doesn’t have political opinions?

Trump says tax bill is a “great gift” for the middle class. Right, like the Queen’s gift to Snow White. #PoisonedApple

If George Carlin were alive he’d be using all his seven words repeatedly over the #CDC7words.

Marco Rubio again proves he’s Senate equivalent of a $10 Rolex from a street vendor. Bright, shiny and impressive for about 24 hours.

CDC not allowed to use phrase “science-based.” Standby until next week when Trump administration forbids govt agencies from using word “science.”

Anyone really surprised Trump is recommending a book he didn’t read? Heck, he didn’t read the book he wrote.

Blaming anthem protests for declining viewership when many NFL teams are unwatchable makes as much sense as blaming Hillary Clinton for everything wrong with Trump presidency….

 

Trump supporters now claiming Mueller unlawfully obtained his emails. As opposed to “Russia, if you’re listening, I hope you’re able to find the 30,000 emails that are missing.”

All you need to know about today’s GOP is that they profess to be pro-life, but aren’t willing to fund CHIP.

41 and counting.

December 15, 2017

And of 41 college football bowl games, six are on Dec. 16. And if you can name at least half of them without Google, you just might need a life.

 

Now it’s Dave Brubaker, women’s national team director of Gymnastics Canada, facing sex-charges. Sad. Those days seem so innocent when we “just” worried about gymnasts’ eating disorders.

Carlos Santana leaves the Indians for the Phillies. 3 years, $60 million.  Plus he gets Octobers off!

NFL owner being investigated for “workplace misconduct.” Millions of Americans disappointed that it isn’t Jerry Jones or Dan Snyder.#JerryRichardson #Panthers

Now, I adore Kawhi Leonard. But the Spurs are 0-2 since he returned in limited minutes.  So maybe this doesn’t burnish his MVP credentials.

 

Alabama and San Francisco now have something in common – No Moore.

AOL is officially killing AIM. And millions of millennials have no idea what either of those are.

So it’s a May 19 wedding for Prince Harry and Meghan Markle. Does probably make it easier to remember your anniversary when it’s printed on tea towels.

 

In an attempt to get Rubio’s vote, GOP plans to increase child tax credit $300. Wow. That ought to pay for a whole week of day care.

#TaxBill has losses from fires, floods or other events no longer deductible unless covered by specific federal disaster declaration. But GOP will offer lots of thoughts and prayers.

EPA hires an opposition research firm to help them shape media coverage, CDC can’t use words: “vulnerable,” “entitlement,” “diversity,” “transgender,” “fetus,” “evidence-based” & “science-based.”
I liked Orwell better as a novelist than a prophet.

Trump attacks FBI, saying “People are very, very angry.” “People?” Is that another term for his Russian bot followers?

 

Trump “visa lottery..really the worst of the worst.” He misspoke on “visa lottery” – meant to say “my system for picking judges.”

 

Barack Obama dressed up as Santa Claus at a Washington DC Boys & Girls Club. Don’t tell Trump. He’ll repeal Santa.

Are you ready for some almost football?

December 15, 2017

Thursday Night Football tonight was 4-9 Broncos vs 3-10 Colts.  Did US retailers pay NFL for this matchup to get Americans to say “Heck, I’ll just go Christmas shopping.”

Not that I could predict the winners, or even name the teams. But we’re less than a week away from best named college bowls of 2017 – the Cheribundi Tart Cherry Boca Raton Bowl” and the “Bad Boy Mowers Gasparilla Bowl.”

Jets OC John Morton, acknowledging NY had no chance in 4th against Broncos “I just wanted to run it and get out of there.” Sort of how the Giants have been playing all season?

Today was the five anniversary of #SandyHook. Five years of GOP “thoughts and prayers..

What happened to #KateSteinle was a tragedy, but those demanding changes & politicizing her death somehow don’t feel the same about #SandyHook

Disney buying most of Fox. Makes sense. Fox already was a Mickey Mouse operation.

Just got an pre-sale announcement for “Earth, Wind and Fire” concert. Assume tickets automatically come with a senior discount?

Watching #RoyMoore still refuse to accept Alabama voting results makes you wonder what he’d have done when Senate voted to expel him?

#BumperStickersForBadParents “I told Roy Moore he could date my daughter.”

Maybe we can get Trump to overturn FCC #NetNeutrality decision if we convince him fewer people will see his tweets?

A number of GOP senators are reportedly now undecided on tax bill. Presumably those running for re-election in 2018? #TaxScamBill

OK, this IS  a #FakeNews headline from @CNN – “Paul Ryan ‘soul searching'” As if they really expected us to believe #PaulRyan has a soul.

 

Some right-wing sore losers alleging voter fraud in Alabama. Uh, if Democrats were that good at fake votes they’d have gotten enough to win 2016 election.

 

Leaving aside Trump nominee Matthew Spencer Petersen’s lack of qualifications to be a judge, after his hearing, have to wonder, how did Petersen ever pass the bar?

Reports that @SenJohnMcCain is looking “increasingly frail.” For his sake & that of USA probably best if he stay home & rest instead of voting on GOP tax bill,

 

I didn’t really want #DustinHoffman to be the man behind today’s Sexual Predator Advent Calendar window.

Though Hoffman has never been one of my very favorites.  One of saddest things about 2017 is being a woman & having your “desert island men” list become a list of men you REALLY don’t want to see trending.

Sweet home Alabama

December 14, 2017

Steve Kerr had “Sweet Home Alabama” playing today during #Warriorspractice. Just guessing if they win again it will be 2nd year Golden State won’t get White House invite.

Bad news for Clemson Tigers. Not that it really matters, but in all Red State CFB Playoff, all of a sudden, USA has a whole lot of new fans.

Another Hannukah miracle. Who ever thought that Steve Kerr, Gregg Popovich and Charles Barkley would all be in agreement on anything? #DougJones

Now that we have #DougJones in the Senate, can we move on to getting the #SFGiants a power-hitter? @SFGiants

Wednesday it was Tavis Smiley. So the Christmas Advent Sexual Harassment calendar hasn’t missed a day yet.

So now that #RoyMoore has lost will they fire their “Jew attorney?”

63-yr-old Alabama white man quoted Tuesday “I just love the unborn far too much to ever vote for a national Democrat.”
Fortunately more of the state decided they love the “born.”

Colorado GOP Sen. Cory Gardner “I hope Senator-elect Doug Jones will do the right thing and truly represent Alabama by choosing to vote with the Senate Republican majority.”
Uh, Sen. Gardner, Colorado went for Hillary. When are you going to do the right thing and truly represent Colorado by voting with Democrats?

US Deputy AG Rod Rosenstein told Judiciary Committee he sees “no good cause” to fire Robert Mueller. How long until Trump tries to fire Rosenstein?

Let’s look at this another way. Anyone doubt if Al Franken were being replaced by a GOP senator, McConnell would have him sworn in by the weekend?

Roy Moore really disappointed today. Not only did he lose Senate election, but apparently all Alabama jobs for mall Santas have been filled.

For all of us who cheered #HiddenFigures#BlackWomen deserve another ovation after Alabama.

Roy Moore still thinks he can get a recount in Alabama. Well, what do you expect from a man who convinced himself that 14 was 18.

 

Sad for Dan Johnson’s family. The Kentucky state legislator, accused of molesting a teenager at his church where he was a pastor, apparently shot himself.  But have to wonder how many girls and women have committed suicide over the years after being molested.

 

Just to start a non-political controversy for a change, who do my friends and readers think should be in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame who isn’t already in?
I’m thinking “The Carpenters.” Don’t laugh. Plenty of soft-rock and pop acts in there. Karen had one of the best voices ever, and they were very successful standing out from the crowd.

Roll Tide.

December 13, 2017

As promised, two words I thought I’d never say. Roll Tide!!! #ThankyouAlabama

 

So has Alabama suddenly become America’s team?

#PopovichBarkley2020?

Forget small quantity of oil lasting 8 days. #DougJones turning Alabama blue is a true Hanukkah miracle.

Jose Canseco – “These women complaining against sexual misconduct are just racist against ugly men.” Guess that home run ball off his head hit him harder than we thought.

Reportedly Astros saw that Yu Darvish was tipping his pitches in World Series. Question of the day – why couldn’t the Dodgers see it?

Four best words of the morning for San Antonio fans “Kawhi is back tonight.”

But Leonard only played 16 minutes, and then Spurs lost to Mavericks.  Wonder if Pop told him “we did better without you.”

Nick Saban may have gotten more write-in votes than the difference between #DougJones & #RoyMoore#RollTide

Doug Jones margin of victory is less than Alabama write-in total. How often does a Democrat say “Thank you @SenShelby”

Bannon basically attacked Ivanka w/ his “special place in hell for Republicans” line. And crickets from @POTUS. What about a special place in hell for fathers who don’t support their daughters? @realDonaldTrump

Tweet of the day from Meghan McCain “Suck it, Bannon.”

Wonder if Roy Moore’s “Jew” lawyer just quit.

Roy Moore still not conceding – “God is in control.” Yeah, and clearly she was pissed.

Wonder if Roy Moore only rides a horse because he hears it attracts teenage girls.

Moore said this morning that Alabama voters should “vote their conscience.”   Wonder if he wishes he could take that back.

 

Fox headline “Roy Moore, battered by the media and the establishment, loses in huge Alabama upset.”
How about “Roy Moore, battered by his own past actions and statements, loses in a state where a monkey in a Santa Suit could have won with an ‘R’ by his name.”

Trump is saying he never met some of the women who have accused him of sexual assault, despite there being pictures of him with them. So what @POTUS is really telling us is that he has dementia?

Trump saying again he wants to end ‘chain migration,” since Port Authority wannabe bomber got in because of one of his relatives.
But hey, isn’t “chain migration” how US got stuck with Ivanka, Jared, Don Jr, & Eric in influential positions?

Anyone who believes there are “many fine people” on both sides should read some of comments on SF Mayor Ed Lee’s death on FoxNews website. But be prepared to throw up.

Mistakes were made.

December 11, 2017

Giancarlo Stanton sounds positively giddy about leaving #Marlins for #Yankees. And of course NY fans & media will be so supportive if he has anything less than an MVP year.

 

NFL warned teams today it will begin “significant discipline” to anyone engaging in offensive conduct or contact against game officials.”
What about discipline for offensive officiating?

On a non-political note, three of the nicest words for Tuesday are “Kawhi Leonard ‘probable.”” #GoSpursGo @Spurs

According to Hank Schulman Stanton has been spending “Octobers in Europe unable to really watch the playoffs because it just kills him.”
Save this post if Yankees miss 2018 Postseason

Derek Jeter, on Stanton trade “No, there isn’t anything I would do differently.” Has someone checked former Yankees’ captain for concussions?

 

Maybe they don’t have Louis Vuitton stores in Lithuania?

Now it’s #CarsonWentz who is out for the season. With three weeks to go how many stars will be left for the @NFL playoffs?

Oops. Neither Bangladesh nor Brooklyn were on Trump’s travel ban list.#PortAuthority

#PortAuthority suspect said he made his bomb at work. And some people feel guilty about wasting employer time by with games or online shopping.

Dept of Education under Betsy Devos has stopped cancelling student loan debt for those defrauded by failed for-profit schools. Because how could they acknowledge it might have been a major mistake to attend Trump University?

Just imagine if when @BarackObama went to Hawaii for vacation he stayed at resort owned by his family & made a profit off trip. GOP heads would have exploded.

If you’re really “pro-life” it seems like a no-brainer to vote for man who successfully prosecuted murderers of four little girls. @GDouglasJones

 

December bringing different man or men every day accused of sexual harassment. This is becoming like a very twisted advent calendar.

It”s only Monday & this week #RyanLizza#MarioBatali…. Beginning to think it’s a bad idea to put men in positions of power.

Waiting for @realDonaldTrump to respond that he doesn’t get what all #KaylaMoore fuss is about “I have a Jew son-in-law.”

 

Just wondering, how many people have attorneys (plural) and KNOW what religion they all are? #KaylaMoore #NoMoore

Considering #KaylaMoore‘s “Jew” lawyer comment & his friend talking about child brothels, I understand why #RoyMoore tried to lie low weekend before election.

Crickets on #PortAuthority from @realDonaldTrump If alleged wannabe terrorist had been from country on his travel ban he’d have tweeted within 30 seconds.

Sarah Huckabee Sanders says on Trump sexual assault allegations “American people knew this & voted for him,”   So WTF was Donald Trump doing going after Bill Clinton 20+ years later after his election?

Trump attacks @NYTimes for saying he watches 4-8 hours of TV a day. Maybe he means he really watches 8-12 hours….

Home stretch

December 10, 2017

It takes a lot of work for a perfect season. With their 4th quarter performance today it appears as if the Browns are up to the task.

Cleats, heck.  How many on the Bills & Colts in today’s Buffalo blizzard considered switching to ice skates?

Rex Ryan dissed Geno Smith, Smith called his former coach a “coward,” today Ryan compared Geno to a marshmallow. These two are more entertaining than watching Giants.

Baker Mayfield won the Heisman easily with great stats. But with a preseason arrest and other issues  he can thank Cam Newton, Johnny Manziel and Jameis Winston for getting committee to drop “integrity” from their mission statement.

Is there an award for the most runner-up finishes for the Heisman?  (Stanford has five since 2009.)

 

Alabama has a chance to get even many of us on West Coast to root for #CrimsonTide in CFB Playoffs this year.    Just elect #DougJones

We like to think national conversation about sexual assault has changed. But Ben Rothlisberger still remains popular in Pittsburgh.

No one in Alabama can find Roy Moore. Have they looked inside mall Santa suits?

Just imagine if that reporter had tweeted a picture making @realDonaldTrump’s hands look too small?

Whatever the Trump crowd size was at Pensacola rally, it was certainly a very WHITE Christmas event.

If lying about crowd size is cause for losing your job when is Trump resigning?

“We call it a tipping point, I think, so many accusations, so many cuts, so many drip, drip, drip — when it got to the 14-year-old’s story, that was enough for me. I said I can’t vote for Roy Moore.”
Another liberal for Doug Jones. Nope, Alabama GOP Senator Richard Shelby.

Alabama Sen Richard Shelby said he didn’t vote #RoyMoore but wrote in a “distinguished Republican name. And I think a lot of people could do that.’
Works for me. Or may I suggest Alabama voters write in Nick Saban?

Cory Booker, talking about Al Franken “My question is, why isn’t Donald Trump doing same thing — who has more serious allegations against him, w/ more women who have come forward.”
Too soon to start pool when Trump will tweet with stupid nickname for @CoryBooker?

 

 

Can we have a moment to remind Alabama voters that not only is @GDouglasJones a former prosecutor, he is a hunter who owns guns?