Archive for November 2017

All about not quite winning?

November 30, 2017

Florida State wants Jimbo Fisher to decide if he will accept Texas A & M coaching job. Possible translation with the Seminoles 5-6, will he quit or be fired?

Tiger Woods shot a 3-under par in his first tournament in a year, leaving him tied for 8th.  But hey, at least ESPN has something to write about golf.

Blue Jays analyst Gregg Zaun has been fired for “inappropriate behavior ” in the workplace. Time to start getting more women hired in sports too.

Cowboys-Redskins  – a game between two teams who at best will never get out of the wild card round.

 

Soon to be heard at the Pearly Gates “Surprise, surprise surprise….” RIP Jim Nabors aka Gomer Pyle.

 

Open note to guys planning to apologize for past sexual harassment. We’ll be a lot more likely to believe you if you do it before you get caught.

 

Jeff Sessions indicated Federal Government might try cracking down on recreational marijuana. He does realize Colorado & Nevada each have a GOP senator… now?

Trump’s visit to Britain in January has reportedly been canceled over his latest tweet storm. Well, not like it was a special relationship or anything.

Trump: “The rich people actually don’t like me” Correct. They love him.

 

So in the end, contemplating his own mortality, multi-millionaire #JohnMcCaindecides the most important thing is to gut the estate tax for his and Cindy’s heirs?

Considering that almost EVERY analysis shows #TaxBill as massively increasing deficit & hurting middle class, no wonder GOP wants to cut funding for math graduate students.

So can all these conservatives endorsing Roy Moore for Senate let Moore escort their daughters to prom?
 –
Cannot imagine losing a child to random gun violence. But the #KateSteinleverdict seems reasonable.  (Not sure why they didn’t go for manslaughter.)   Tragic, stupid, but not deliberate. Now can we talk about penalties for casually leaving guns in cars?

Eight, or nine or ten men out?

November 29, 2017

NY Giants benched Eli Manning after 2-9 start. Because without him they might be contending with Browns for the number 1 pick?

ASU might hire Herm Edwards as football coach. Because nothing says looking to the future like a 64-year-old who hasn’t coached in 10 years.

Anonymous NFL owner on Trump “He’s trying to destroy us. He’s trying to use race to divide players & our fans. It’s all over a grudge.”
That moment when @POTUS gives @NFL the moral high ground…

Oops. Apparently a glitch in American Airlines’s vacation scheduling system means that thousands of flights Dec 17-31 don’t yet have pilots scheduled. So will flights that operate have a “pilot bonus pay” surcharge?

‘Add #MattLauer to the list. Well, there will be no shortage of men with the resumes to run for GOP senators.

 

-Geraldo Rivera has been tweeting so vociferously about news being “flirty business” got to figure it’s time to start a pool on when HIS accusers come forward.

Now #GarrisonKeillor fired by Minnesota Public Radio over allegations of improper behavior. Maybe it’s time just to turn all media and politics over to women.

Several GOP senators are condemning Trump’s retweeting of far-right “Britain First” hate videos. Why don’t they just use the standard “Thoughts and prayers?”
#littlelessconversationlittlemoreaction

 

Fox News is positively gleeful over the Matt Lauer firing. Wonder if they hope for a ratings bump to make back some of that $32 million they paid Bill O’Reilly.

Thinking over at Saturday night live they might as well wait to write cold open until Friday night, because most outrageous story of week keeps changing.

In Alabama, new poll showed among Trump voters, only 9 % believe Roy Moore allegations. No wonder Trump is now taking back his admission on Access Hollywood tape. #Truthhasaliberalbias

So when did #MAGA become code for “Let’s p*ss off every other country in the world except Russia?” Repeat win today for those with Britain in Trump insult pool.

Several GOP senators are condemning Trump’s retweeting of far-right “Britain First” hate videos. Why don’t they just use the standard “Thoughts and prayers?”

 

Birds of a feather: Not all Americans were unhappy with Trump’s retweeting of far-right anti-Muslim British videos “Thank God for Trump! That’s why we love him!” – David Duke

Once again, if Trump wanted to prove immigrants are depressing pay, all he had to do was raise salaries enough at Mar-A-Lago to get Americans to apply instead of getting 70 temporary visas.

No respect.

November 29, 2017

Wisconsin is absolutely the Rodney Dangerfield of this year’s #CollegeFootballPlayoff rankings.

Eli Manning has been benched in favor of… Geno Smith? Colin Kaepernick won’t need to present evidence at his collusion trial other than NFL game tapes.

NY Giants benched Eli Manning in favor of Geno Smith. Maybe they think they can catch the 49ers for that number 2 draft pick.

 

QB Sam Darnold denied reports he will stay at USC to avoid being drafted by #Browns. So guessing Darnold doesn’t think he’ll be #1 pick?
If Dems really want to get voters in red states against GOP tax plan maybe they could point out making free tuition taxable for students COULD gut college football programs.
(especially those 5th year senior star QBs who transfer for the “graduate opportunities.)
Eric Trump tweeted about irony of Disney’s ABC saying “Pocahontas” is offensive because they made half a billion on movie. Uh, how much did “Psycho” make?
Arby;s owner bought Buffalo Wild Wings. Who knew they could find a company that makes Arby’s look healthy by comparison?
Allegedly on Monday night Roy Moore campaign staffers “manhandled” two photojournalists. Before Trump tweets #FakeNews, the reporters were from Fox News. Pass the popcorn.
 –

Two-thirds of Senators are millionaires. Would they care to tell us how their tax bill will affect THEIR returns? #GOPTaxScam

Now that @CNN said they will boycott the White House Christmas party, will @realDonaldTrump say he rescinded the invitation anyway?

You know the world is insane when you see #Reno trending and are happy to find out “oh, only a ‘active shooter’ but no reported injuries.”

 

I dream of an alternate reality where world is a calmer more secure place & comedians are struggling to write new pantsuit jokes. @HillaryClinton

 

Maybe Elizabeth Warren did incorrectly tout Native American heritage. GOP would criticize less if she just was avowed white woman hanging around malls looking for teenage boys?

Any given Monday

November 28, 2017

Tonight would have been rough night for any SF 49ers fans who said, “Hell, time to see a good team” and splurged on Warriors tickets.

(For non-NBA fans, Golden State lost to the Sacramento Kings, at home. The Kings had exactly one road win out of 10 before tonight.)

Tony Parker returned to the court tonight to an ovation from Spurs fans.  Wonder if Vince Carter also sent him a text  – “Welcome back young man.”

Congratulations to the Toronto Argonauts, winners of the CFL.  Few sports fans think the Argos could actually compete with NFL teams.  Though they might be 2 touchdown favorites against the Browns.

Blake Griffin was injured in tonight’s game against the Lakers and might be out for a while.  Rough news for Clippers fans but congrats to all those who had Nov 27 in the pool.

#MeghanMarkle completely taking internet spotlight away from Trump today. Don’t RT, this might upset him. (Did I mention she’s half-black?)

 

Can’t wait to see tweets from Trump when Prince Harry & Meghan send their wedding invitations – including the Obamas and not him.

President of US just tweeted that Fox is country’s only real news. For those who always wanted to know what life was like in an authoritarian banana republic.

 

A Wisconsin man was jailed after being accused of leading police on 125 mph car chase. He said he was late for work & feared losing his job. Your move, Florida.

Trump used occasion honoring Navajos to make racial slur against Elizabeth Warren. Thank heaven there’s no chance Redskins will win Super Bowl.

Trump’s pretended his heritage is Swedish when it’s actually German. Should we start referring to him as “Prince Hans?” #Frozen

Native Americans say Pocahontas is a racial slur. Waiting for Trump tweet saying #FakeIndians

If Washington Post had fallen for Project Veritas sting, not only would GOP have dismissed Roy Moore accusers but also they’d say all #MeToo women are liars. Except those who accused Democrats.

Consistency

November 26, 2017

Nothing is certain but death, taxes, and the Cleveland Browns sucking.

Alabama fans think they should still be in the College Football Playoff despite being beaten solidly by Auburn.  Well, especially after the Crimson Tide played a tough out-of-conference schedule including Colorado State and Mercer.

When @POTUS endorses a child molester for Senate guess it made sense for Tennessee to try hire someone who covered up child abuse as their head coach.

Although, news flash – Tennessee at least noted public outrage and has apparently changed their mind on Greg Schiano.

 

Cyber Monday looks like more than a few college football teams will be shopping for coaches.

Tony Parker finally returning to @Spurs Monday night.   San Antonio thrilled to have him back, & thankful most of his considerable medical expenses were covered by Medicare.

Last Sunday’s Ford EcoBoost 400, NASCAR Cup Series finale, had lowest ratings in race’s 19 yr history.  Again, must have been all those black drivers kneeling.

 

Since everyone is online all the time now shouldn’t #CyberMonday be retitled “Cyber Day that ends in Y?

Not saying there’s a #Kaepernick curse on @NFL. But there sure are a lot of QBs playing badly in 2017.

“Hi, I’m Roy, and what grade are you in honey? #ThingsNotToSayAtAHolidayParty

Now @realDonaldTrump questioning Access Hollywood tape after admitting it was real. So he’s calling his own words #FakeNews.

Trump is now calling Doug Jones a “Schumer/Pelosi” puppet. Aww, what happened to all those nice words he said about Chuck & Nancy?

 

Rough weekend for Trump – He can’t decide whether to tweet that he SHOULD be Time’s Man of the Year, or dismiss the magazine as Fake News.

Trump says Doug Jones wants to “RAISES (sic) TAXES.” And he’d probably want to spent taxes on things like education? #grammarandspellinghavealiberalbias

Susan Sarandon has a right to her anti-Hillary opinion, but hard to tell Alabama voters they have to vote for the lesser evil, when liberals won’t do same thing.

At least w/ all of Trump’s #FakeNews rants many Americans who might sympathize w/ #NYTimes‘ Nazi normalization story no longer read the paper.

Moving forwards, and backwards

November 26, 2017

Chip Kelly hired by UCLA. Kelly’s first college-coaching job since the 49ers.

 

How far as Tiger Woods fallen? From being on top of the world & attending 2009 Notre Dame vs Stanford game to playing golf this weekend with Donald Trump.

Love Trumps hate. And millions of Americans are loving watching the hated Alabama Crimson Tide lose.

 

How many headlines tomorrow – “Rolled tide.”? #AUBvsBAMA

Stanford’s Bryce Love  has to be the best one-legged player in college football.

And forget pumpkin pie. After the fourth quarter against Notre Dame, Stanford’s favorite Thanksgiving weekend dessert has to be turnovers.

 

Would be adding insult to injury to point out after Stanford upset of Notre Dame that it’s 60 degrees in Palo Alto & 28 degrees in South Bend. #NDvsSTAN

Michigan QB John O’Korn had a horrible day in his team’s loss to OSU. And he’ll still probably have an NFL job before Kaepernick.

Pundits said SFGiants were probably going to make playoffs in 2017 & had chance for World Series. Giants decided probably wasn’t good enough & took a pass on the year.

Black Friday  was so successful this year figure Trump will try to rename it Orange Friday and take the credit.

(and then as a friend pointed out, the SF Giants will sue him.)

A new U. of Michigan study found an oil in cinnamon attacks fat cells & could help fight obesity. Can’t wait to see the ads from Cinnabon.

Washington Post notes that a “Pew Research Center study found that 58 percent of Republicans and GOP-leaning independents believe colleges & universities have a negative effect “on the way things are going in the country,” up from 37 percent two years ago.”
Well, yeah, education causes Democrats.

 

So now Trump is blaming negative way much of the world views USA  on CNN. #WTF?

 

 

I miss the days when condemning Nazis and child molesters was nonpartisan.

Geography, what a concept.

November 26, 2017

Who knew USF vs USF  might be best college football game of the year?  Seriously.

But okay, University of Central Florida (formerly FTU), in Orlando, check. University of South Florida in Tampa.  90 miles West of Orlando. About 200 miles NORTH of Miami.

And Golden Knights coach Scott Frost, who took the team from 0-12 to 12-0 in two years, might just be more in demand than a discounted iPhone X.

So maybe UCF really IS the best college football team in Florida. #MIAvsPITT

How did this year’s Pitt team lose 7 games, or maybe more accurately, how did Miami win 7?

Oscar Pistorius’ prison sentence more than doubled to over 13 years. “I feel so sorry for him.” said nobody.

Carnival Cruise Line is opening a Victoria’s Secret shop on newest ship. Is this Carnival’s way of discouraging passengers from eating very much at their buffets?

 

Las Vegas marijuana dispensaries apparently had Black Friday sales. Wonder how many customers will show up Saturday?’

Wonder if next year there will be an app to delete every marketing email that references #BlackFriday from your inbox?

Donald Trump still attacking @NFL. You’d almost think he had a petty grudge over having not been able to buy a team or something.

 

If Roy Moore loses his Senate race will he still have time to get a last minute job as a mall Santa?

Trump wants to change welfare because “people are taking advantage of the system.” He said this on a taxpayer funded weekend at one of his own resorts

 

Trump tweet Friday evening  –  “Time Magazine called to say that I was PROBABLY going to be named “Man (Person) of the Year,” like last year, but I would have to agree to an interview and a major photo shoot. I said probably is no good and took a pass. Thanks anyway!”

What about “Person of the Year” for the American Psychiatric Association? And his own personal DSM page….

 

Time’s twitter response – “The President is incorrect about how we choose Person of the Year. TIME does not comment on our choice until publication, which is December 6.”
They had me at “The President is incorrect.”

Talking turkey.

November 23, 2017

What Washington is thankful for this Thanksgiving – they got to play the NY Giants.

Jones said Cowboys “are not a good team right now.” Who said we can’t get agreement on anything in this country?

Wonder how many Americans first became football fans because it provided a distraction from dealing with relatives on Thanksgiving. @NFL

Six Blue Jays rookie league players were suspended for PEDs last weekand Toronto has begun an internal investigation. Over the cheating or over the fact that they were all stupid enough to get caught?

Good for Vikings DE Everson Griffen who could watch his son’s birth. But thinking I’m really glad I had a baby before Facetime.

Think Americans would be more likely to vote if we had to line up and got chance to buy something at half-price afterwards. #BlackFriday

Among the things all Americans can all be thankful for is that sexting – with photos – did not exist when Bill Clinton was President.

Joe Barton threatened to call Capitol police on a woman if she exposed him. Here’s a simpler suggestion for men to avoid exposure – don’t take dick pics.

As shopping season begins, be careful what you wish for. Many political comedians not that long ago were imagining @HillaryClinton presidency & hoping for at least some material.

Trump today said F 35 is literally invisible, “even if you’re flying right beside it.”   Reminds me of time US showed off by flying stealth bomber right over the Rose Bowl.

Donald Trump’s long brag about himself on Twitter & to the Armed Forces making millions of Americans thankful that their most obnoxious relative isn’t THAT bad.

Short version of @realDonaldTrump tweet storm today – “All Americans need to be thankful for ME.”

What I’m really thankful for this Thanksgiving. That Americans still have the right to post tweets making fun of our US President. Let’s hope that continues.

And on a serious note,   I am very thankful for everyone who takes the time to read this blog. You are the reason I write.

Weekend turkeys?

November 22, 2017

Cheapest ticket on Stubhub for Stanford game Saturday – $65. For 49ers game Sunday, $25. To be fair, Cardinal has more entertaining team.

Former US Gymnastic doctor Larry Nassar. “I’m so horribly sorry.” Well, he got the horrible part right.

WR Jauan Jennings was dismissed from Tennessee football team after he posted an R-rated Instagram video calling coaches “lying,” “fake” & “snakes.”
And here Volunteers fans thinking their most embarrassing moments this year would be on the field.

Know online shopping is out of control when you’re getting emails advertising “last few hours of pre-Black Friday sale.”

Whoever thought that in any situation involving another person, Lavar Ball would be the adult in the room.

As they blow up the balloons tonight for tomorrow’s #MacysThanksgivingDayParade six words – Must. Not. Make. Chris. Christie. Jokes.

54th anniversary of JFK’s death. Waiting for Trump to tweet “I like Presidents who weren’t assassinated.”

Trump SoHo hotel taking his name off property as it’s hurting their image. Any chance we can do that for White House? Asking for a country.

Trump supporters have no problem w/ Mar-A-Lago as “Winter White House” where all profits flow directly to him. But they sure bitched when Obama rented house in Hawaii.

NYPD detective arrested for burning her husband’s clothes because she thought he was cheating on her. At least she didn’t set the fire w/ him wearing them.

Headline “Congressman tries to explain nude selfie.” Here’s a hint – don’t take one in the first place. #JoeBarton

As the #JoeBarton story (& unfortunate visual) goes viral, how much, again, do I miss Molly Ivins?

Too soon to start a pool on when Trump will endorse Joe Barton?

Like most heterosexual women, I like looking at guys. But doesn’t matter who it is, even George Clooney or Drew Brees . Would rather see them at least partially clothed. 🙂 #Nodickpics

Are women not sexual predators because we’re better people? Or because we aren’t powerful enough to be predators? Would be nice to have enough women in charge to find out..

Real turkeys.

November 22, 2017

NFL really missing great marketing opportunity – “This Thanksgiving, watch our games instead of talking politics with your relatives.”

Although  football fans in search of a real turkey may have to wait two days past Thanksgiving.  When Tennessee and Vanderbilt, both 0-7 in SEC conference play, play each other.

Ex-Braves GM John Coppolella banned for life from MLB for violating rules on intl signing. You’d think with cheating on that level Atlanta would have better team.

 

Jerry Jones decides not to sue NFL over Roger Goodell’s contract extension. What a relief for all those opposed to billionaire on billionaire violence.

Even though Markelle Fultz is injured, 76ers got to think they dodged a bullet picking him now instead of Lonzo Ball (& dad.)

NASCAR ratings on Fox Sports are down 17% this year. I’m sure it’s all those black drivers kneeling for the National Anthem.

Charlie Rose has been fired. At this point his only hope for a career save is to run for office as Republican promising to support tax cuts.

Following Trump’s pardon Tuesday morning, will Thanksgiving at Mar-A-Lago see Jared and Don Jr. fight over the turkey costume?

GOP & Trump position – only women telling the truth about sexual assault are accusing Democrats.

For those trying to think of something to keep them too nauseous to overeat on Thanksgiving – Roy Moore’s friend, defending Moore’s dating habits – “there’s something about a purity of a young woman.”

By calling all women who have accused him liars, Roy Moore is assaulting them a second time.

Cynthia Wesley, Carole Robertson & Addie Mae Collins were 14 yrs old, Denise McNair was 11. But according to Trump, Doug Jones, who finally convicted their killers, is “soft on crime.” #deplorable

Who Trump trusts: Roy Moore, Vladimir Putin.
Who Trump doesn’t trust: Everybody else

Maybe Democrats are taking too high a road on their defense of #NetNeutrality. Maybe we just need to shout at men “This will stop your free porn.”

All fall down

November 21, 2017

Georgia Dome imploded today faster than the Falcons did in the last Super Bowl.

 

Alvin Kamara was a third round draft pick. Which means every NFL team passed on him, some at least twice. #Saints

Trump attacked Marshawn Lynch Monday morning, though game was Sunday afternoon.   Guess Fox & Friends must have just covered Lynch’s anthem protest.

As horrifying as it is to watch on many levels, some fascination in watching Donald Trump & Lavar Ball trying to out-grift each other.

That moment when you see #WichitaState trending & end up thinking “Whew,  they’re only involved in a closer-than-expected basketball game –  it’s not a mass shooting.”

 –
Kim Kardashian has fired her longtime personal assistant, Stephanie Shepherd. Missing days when that would be most insane news story.

If women knew there were so many men about to be exposed we could have raised serious money for charity w/ a fundraising “exposed sexual predator” bingo.

Open note to any powerful man who hasn’t been outed yet as a harasser & you’re SERIOUSLY sorry about past behavior, maybe confess now before you have to?

#GlennThrush suspended by NY Times for alleged sexual harassment. Sure it’s just coincidence now he wrote all those negative stories on Hillary Clinton.

 –

Kellyanne Conway & Sarah Huckabee Sanders indicate being predator is OK because tax cuts are more important. How many does candidate have to murder for that to take precedence?

The way some pro Roy Moore Alabama preachers are attacking motives & behavior of teenagers, maybe time to investigate THEIR pasts with girls.

US has travel advisory for Europe over potential terrorist acts around the holidays. Thinking it has to be scarier for Europeans to travel to US with potential mass shootings around the holidays.

 

Jeanine Pirro ticketed for driving 119 mph in a 65 mph zone. Can’t wait to see how Fox News spins this as President Hillary Clinton’s fault.

There’s no crime epidemic involving Haitians, no evidence that people who are here do anything but contribute to USA. Sending 60,000 home is just plain cruelty.

Wait until Trump realizes a-  he can’t deport Puerto Ricans and b- they can vote in Florida.

Ready to give thanks?

November 19, 2017

Just warning that turkey Trump plans to pardon for Thanksgiving. He sure as heck better express gratitude if he wants to live out the weekend.

Redskins had a 99.8% chance of beating Saints with 4 minutes left. Even Patriots have no idea how New Orleans won game.

Still, few things in the NFL are more fun than watching Drew Brees with less than 2 minutes left on the clock.

Colin Kaepernick doesn’t need testimony in his NFL collusion trial – just game day tapes, now adding Nathan Peterman to the list.

 

Steve Kerr on Trump & LaVar Ball “Two people seeking attention & they’re both getting it.” Suggested media stop covering both. #PopovichKerr2020

Over 160,000 Puerto Ricans have moved to Florida. Has anyone told Trump they can vote?

Fired UCLA football coach Jim Mora scheduled to make $3.7 mill a year before bonuses through 2021. Was Calif’s highest-paid state employee. #priorities

Cleveland passed on Carson Wentz,  and he’s turned into a young star. But does anyone doubt that had the Browns chosen Wentz they’d have found a way to screw him up?

Not that I would’ve minded UCLA basketball players spending week in jail. But does anyone doubt China wouldn’t have released them under Obama?

Give @realDonaldTrump credit. Who else could make Lavar Ball and sons into even slightly sympathetic characters?

 

#AMAs – for all those who think outfits worn by presenters & winners at #Oscars are too conventional.

Trump attacks Jeff Flake again on Twitter. If there was only anything Flake could do to really express his displeasure, you know, like vote against tax bill…

Border agent killed, which is awful, but Trump immediately tweets “we will, and must build the wall.” If only he were so quick to respond to mass shootings.

Steven Mnuchin says he takes being compared to a Bond villain as a compliment. He would.

Speaking as a woman, isn’t EVERY day, #InternationalMensDay?

By the numbers.

November 18, 2017

 

Number 1 Alabama played Mercer today.  And number 2 Clemson played the Citadel.  What, the Cleveland Browns weren’t available?

 

Know Warriors have gotten a little lackadaisical with their starts, but 47 points is probably a little too cocky to allow in the first quarter if they play a real team.

Lavar Ball on the President supposedly getting his son home “Who? What was he over there for? Don’t tell me nothing. Everybody wants to make it seem like he helped me out.” Don’t spread this quote around.  Would upset Trump.

 

Whatever happens the rest of this #Stanford season at least David Shaw figured out teams can go for it on 4th down. #BeatCal

Trader Joe’s has recalled some salads over shards of glass & hard plastic being found inside packaging. At Whole Foods that would have been called “fiber.”

 

Give Ivanka Trump credit. Martha Stewart has been dethroned as queen of “Most Mocked Thanksgiving Hostess.”

The President who never forgets a perceived slight & who can’t go a week without bragging about his election win is tweeting at Hillary Clinton to get on with her life.

So Trump overturns Obama’s anti-poaching law, puts his repeal on hold after outcry, & no now doubt will take credit for saving elephants. #WTF?

Trump is retweeting praise for his decision to review lifting ban on elephant trophies. Somehow I missed tweets from Donny Jr & Eric.

Trump praising himself for overturning his overturning Obama’s ban on elephant trophies is like OJ congratulating civil jury for finding the real killer.

Wes Goodman, married anti-LBGT Ohio lawmaker who resigned after being caught after having consensual sex w/ man in his office, had also gone through anti-gay conversion therapy….

Ryan Seacrest said misconduct allegations from 10 years ago at E! New are “reckless.” How many wonder, was he accused by a man or woman?

David Cassidy, 67, is apparently in a coma in critical condition. Sad. But how did Keith Partridge become 67? I feel old.

#2017In4Words Makes us miss 2016.

The price they pay.

November 17, 2017

House tax bill would not allow fans who make mandatory  “donations” to universities for the right to buy expensive college football or basketball tickets to deduct those donations as charity.

Just guessing they’re not hyping this part of the bill in red states.

No Kawhi Leonard, no Tony Parker, 23 point deficit to OKC, and Spurs win.  Just possible Popovich is a very good coach.

Now Jameis Winston accused of groping a female Uber driver. Buccaneers wishing he had stuck to grabbing crab legs?

Gymnast do take hard falls. Has anyone checked #GabbyDouglas for concussions?

Battle between Jerry Jones and Roger Goodell may turn out to be more riveting than 90% of NFL games this season.

Sad when it’s come to seeing #JesseJackson trending & you’re almost relieved it’s “only” Parkinson’s disease – not him dying or being accused of sexual assault.

So after Trump pardons Thanksgiving turkey will he then ship it to Mar-a-Lago to be secretly cooked & sold to guests at $100 a plate?

Saying Mike Pence’s policy of never being alone with another woman makes sense is like saying people should never go to museums w/ famous works of art because it’s too hard to look and not touch.

Trump tweet “Put big game trophy decision on hold until such time as I review all conservation facts. Under study for years. Will update soon with Secretary Zinke. Thank you!”

Who knew that some in the party that doesn’t give a damn about poor children and immigrants have a soft spot for elephants?

Trump “unexpectedly” released list of 5 conservatives he might appoint to Supreme Court. Bribe for when more sexual assault accusations come out?

Kayla Moore says President owes them thank you for taking “focus off Russia.” Except Trump might not be happy – Moore story also takes focus off Trump.

Guess no one told @realDonaldTrump, that a- it’s “FrankenSTEIN,” and b- Frankenstein was the doctor. Monster he created had no name.

Amazing GOP contortions to convince themselves that any woman who accuses a Republican is an angry liar & anyone who accuses a Dem a wronged saint.

 

Sarah Huckabee Sanders – “Difference between Franken and Trump is that Franken has admitted wrongdoing.” Right, adults do that.

 

So with Sarah Huckabee Sanders logic, any man who denies sexual harassment or abuse is innocent.   I missed her exoneration of Bill Clinton.

Trump says Al Franken “really bad.” Because he groped a woman’s breast instead of grabbing her by the pussy?

That moment when you think a zygote is worthy of protection but a teenage girl is not. #KaylaMoore #RoyMoore

Not the size of the dog in the fight.

November 17, 2017

Congrats to Jose Altuve on being AL MVP. Question of the night – is the trophy bigger than he is?

A Crimson Tide fan shot Auburn fan during argument over which team was better. Miss days when this would have been most embarrassing story out of Alabama.

Kevin Durant says “Ain’t no such thing” as loyalty in the NBA. Tim Duncan, Manu Ginobili, Tony Parker and Pop might disagree. #GoSpursGo

Does anyone about fans of the random teams that get picked for Thursday Night football actually care about the games?  Maybe the CFL would step in to offer alternatives without risk of injury to NFL stars?

South Carolina women’s championship basketball team declined White House invite. Does anyone think Trump knows who NCAA women’s champions ARE?

If it weren’t for the tax reform bills in Congress the situation between Roger Goodell and Jerry Jones might be top of the list for millionaire vs millionaire drama?

Apparently 210,000 gallons of oil leaked today from Keystone Pipeline in South Dakota. If only anyone had warned us about this?

 

Can Charles Manson go ahead and die? Because the world needs some good news.

Bummer on Al Franken. But would all potential 2020 Presidential candidates save us all time and stress and take a polygraph test on sexual harassment right now?

Jared Kushner has failed to hand over Wikileaks emails to the Senate Judiciary Committee. I’m sure it’s because he just didn’t recall.
20 more allegations on Spacey from a London theater. Waiting for the “hold my beer” moment involving Roy Moore.
So based on his tweets should we assume major accomplishment of Trump’s Asia trip was keeping 3 UCLA players out of Chinese jail?

Would Trump have been less judgmental on #AlFranken if Franken had only been heard saying he wanted to grab women by the pussy?

 

You know the one person besides Roy Moore who hasn’t apologized for sexual assault allegations again them is Donald Trump.

 

Not so big ballers.

November 15, 2017

No way was China putting American basketball players in jail for 10 years. If NBA pulled their shoe factories would put tens of thousands of Chinese children out of work.

 

UCLA coach Steve Alford suspended 3 players caught shoplifting, they “will use this time to focus on their academics.” Players thinking-“what are academics?”

Without the three suspended players UCLA did pull out a win. In overtime. Against Central Arkansas.  So will the suspension be two or three games?

 

Hal Steinbrenner said he would have still fired Joe Girardi had Yankees won World Series. Even George would have thought that a bit harsh.

Ezekiel Elliott has withdrawn appeal & will serve his suspension. Which coincidentally will get him back just in time for playoffs. #Cowboys

Wouldn’t it be nice if the good citizens of Alabama surprise us and give #DougJones a resounding victory on Dec. 12?

In Tulsa a 26-year-old Democrat upset an incumbent GOP State Senator. Did I mention she is a woman.  Who is lesbian. Who has an African-American wife…. Oklahoma fabulously OK.

 

Trump  – America’s “‘standing’ has never been stronger than it is right now.” To quote Princess Bride, “I do not think that word means what you think it means.”

Whole Foods/Amazon announced they’re lowering Thanksgiving prices. So this year you can finance your turkey without taking out a 2nd mortgage.

Charles Manson reportedly in “grave condition.” What a shame said absolutely, positively, nobody.

Pretty clear #CharlesManson has only lasted as long as he has because the devil doesn’t want him either.

Senate bill will eliminate taxes on management fee taxes paid by private jet owners. Finally, some serious middle-class tax relief.

Some saying in light of #RoyMoore situation we’re letting Bill Clinton get off too easy on assault allegations. Think Dems might change role of Bill in party now if GOP would change role of Trump.

 

#RoyMoore‘s lawyer, the allegations are “incredibly, incredibly, painful for him, his wife, his mom, his daughter, his grandchildren.” Uh, those girls are and/or were someone’s “wives, moms, daughter and grandchildren.”

Trump is now overturning Obama’s ban on importing elephant & rhino trophies. Normally a pacifist but about ready to throw something at next person who says Hillary & Trump were no different.

So many laws, so little time?

November 14, 2017

Arkansas has suspended freshman QB Cole Kelley, 20, after a DWI arrest, for at least one game. Coach Bielema: “Starting games here is a very big deal. Social media and everything else around, he’s going to be held to a higher standard. … ”
A DWI arrest at 20? Higher standard than what?

UCLA players accused of shoplifting are on flights home. That’ll teach them – shoplift designer sunglasses & you could be forced to spent a week away from classes at a deluxe hotel.

On a lighter note, USA Today projections for 2017-18 Bowl Games. Holiday Bowl Dec 28 – Stanford vs Michigan. #HolyHarbaugh

France is apparently considering legalizing sex with 13 yr-olds. In related news #RoyMoore is considering retirement to Paris.

Shooter today in Rancho Tehama another angry white guy. Standby for more GOP thoughts & prayers,” & talk about mental illness while cutting funding for mental health.

Everyone who insists #RoyMoore‘s behavior was normal for Alabama at the time, forgets that people thought he was creepy AT THE TIME.

Now Paul Ryan is calling on Roy Moore to step aside. Unless he gets elected in which case  he’ll want Moore to resign after voting for tax cuts.

McConnell floating idea of Sessions as write-in candidate for Alabama Senate. Though apparently AG  has same possible Alzheimer’s memory problems as Moore. #ICantRecall

Paul Ryan “House will adopt a policy of mandatory anti-harassment & anti-discrimination training for all Members & staff. ” What about Oval Office?

Trump got off a plane tonight from the Philippines and promptly tweeted  “May God be with the people of Sutherland Springs, Texas. The FBI and Law Enforcement has arrived.”

 

Question of night, will @realDonaldTrump delete tweet referencing 9-day-old mass shooting instead of today’s, or double down on it?
#SutherlandSprings #RanchoTehama

Two men’s teams out.

November 13, 2017

Well, at least Italy and USA can get together for a serious pizza & beer World Cup watching party.

Question of the night – How did the Dolphins manage to win 4 games?

Knicks  blew 15 point lead in 4th quarter tonight to lose by 3 to Cavs. Who do they think they are, the Atlanta Falcons?

So does the “Citizen of the Year” cover mean GOP will boycott GQ too?

Trump reportedly asked Chinese President Xi to help resolve UCLA basketball shoplifting case. Because what could come of having young men grow up thinking laws don’t apply to them?

Amazing, now the Twitter bots are on to Bill Clinton allegations. Last I heard he isn’t running for Senate.

Few could believe Catholic Church could so dishonor their own religion by turning a blind eye to pedophiles. Alabama pastors “Hold our beer.”

Keurig CEO Bob Gamgort said company didn’t intend to “take sides” w/ Roy Moore. Are there “many fine people on both sides” of adults dating teenagers?

 –
Can’t wait for some Trump/Moore supporter to say that yearbook note was somehow forged by same person who forged Obama’s birth certificate.

Now Fox News accusing GOP who condemn Moore of being hypocrites for not condemning George H.W. Bush. Groping is not OK, even for an old man. But H.W. is not now running for Senate.

Trump nominates Alex Azar as HHS Secretary. “He will be a star for better healthcare & lower drug prices.” Right, because who lowers drug prices better than an pharmaceutical executive?

Imagine GOP response if Chelsea Clinton had been found to be communicating with Wikileaks?

On Roy Moore, again. One is a mistake, two is really bad judgment….four is a pattern. Where there’s four there’s more.

If #RoyMoore does somehow withstand scandal & gets elected assume GOP in Senate embrace him at least as long as it takes to get tax cuts?

Just guessing even if #RoyMoore wins his offer will be turned down to play Santa Claus at White House Christmas Party.

(Though perhaps he might get the gig at Mar-A-Lago)

 

As a 1977 high school graduate I don’t remember every inscription in my yearbook. But pretty damn sure there’s none from a 30 year old man signed “Love.”

Missing it by that much?

November 13, 2017

Once again, looking like #49ers will come up just short in their quest for the #1 NFL draft pick.

A New Jersey bar owner said he boycotted NFL Veteran’s Day weekend over players kneeling during anthem. Either that or because @nyjets & @Giants both suck?

In NFC, Rams, Vikings and Saints all leading their divisions. Just like the preseason pundits predicted.

49ers fans thrilled about 1st week of season without a loss. And next week the team has pretty good chance against “Bye Week.”

There was a streaker on the field late in 4th quarter in Buffalo. He had a better running day than the Bills offense against the Saints.

Butch Jones, w/ 4-6 record this year, has been fired as head football coach at Tennessee. #Browns fans wonder, was he fired for over-achieving?

Just wondering, how drunk do you have to be to be thrown out of a bar in Las Vegas? #OJSimpson

 

Oh please oh please let someone ask Trump about Keurig? “Never met them, the allegations are false.”

 

If you #BoycottKeurig does that mean you spend more money at #Starbucks? Being conservative at times must be so confusing.

Thinking there’s going to be a real market for someone who can fix broken Keurigs when some angry conservatives calm down & miss their coffee.

Damn, with Trump supporters attacking #NFL and #Keurig what’s a liberal worried about CTE who doesn’t like pretentious coffee to do?

Lost w/ all attention given to @realDonaldTrump’s “short & fat” comment on Kim Jong-Un is other tweet complaining Hillary had “no chemistry” w/ Putin.

Authorities say 50 pounds of cocaine washed up on a central Florida beach. Talk about a high-tide.

Now Roy More defenders trying to discredit his 1st accuser by bringing up her divorces. Maybe “dating” him at 14 DID mess her up for life?

To me  his 1st accuser being divorced 3 times actually makes her more credible. Being sexual w/ a 32 yr old at 14 would screw a lot of women up.

 

Would #RoyMoore supporters be more likely to believe allegations if Moore were a customer of Hillary’s pedophile-run pizza parlor? #pizzagate #sarcasm

Do we really expect a man who said he’d date his daughter to condemn Roy Moore over pursuing teenage girls?

 

So Trump is insulting former CIA/FBI guys -, Clapper, Brennan, Comey and Mueller. What could possibly go wrong?

 

Not a “thoughts & prayers” kind of gal but maybe those who are could spare some “thought & prayers” after earthquake for people in Iraq and Iran.

Lonely at the top.

November 11, 2017

 

Wondering how many in Alabama would have been more upset if Crimson Tide lost than to find out they might be electing a sexual predator Senator.

I suppose it was too much to ask for that two undefeated SEC teams lose in on the same day? #Georgia #Bama

Well, at least this embarrassment for Georgia on the football field didn’t involve a 4th quarter collapse in the Super Bowl.

So is there still a chance Notre Dame and Georgia could meet in the  “Over-rated” Bowl?

I’m sure LSJUMB will take the high road over Fighting Irish blowout loss in Miami when Notre Dame plays Stanford in two weeks.

Did someone tell Michigan State players they had a bye week this week.  (Ohio State 48, MSU 3.)

Wonder why NFL TV ratings down? Only free option for those near NYC/SF Sunday afternoon not Cowboys-Falcons or Texans-Rams but Giants-49ers.

UCLA players accused of shoplifting, from as many as 3 different stores, remain at Hyatt in China. Gosh, hope this doesn’t interfere w/ their studies.

#Cardinals already w/o Carson Palmer, now QB Drew Stanton injured; they will reportedly sign Matt Barkley. Kaepernick remains on list just below chopped liver.

Alabama GOP position is that a 14-yr-old girl is adult enough to make her own choices about sex until she gets pregnant.

Across America some 14 yr-old girls are just trying to convince their parents they should be allowed to date 15-yr-old boys.

Some in GOP floating idea of delaying Alabama Senate special election. If this works will Trump try to delay 2020 election at least a few years?

Bromance between Trump and Putin continues. How long until Vlad is named an honorary co-host of Fox and Friends?
Trump on Putin’s being accused of election meddling -“I think he’s very insulted by it.” What’s Russian word for “snowflake.”

 

Trump complains about Kim Jong-Un calling him “old,” says he wouldn’t call Korean leader “short & fat.” Is this US President or Alec Baldwin on SNL cold open?

But hey, is that what POTUS meant by “progress not provocation?”

Tweet tweeted “Met with President Putin of Russia who was at #APECmeetings.” President Putin “of Russia.” Are there any Americans who don’t know who Vlad is?

Trump on his Asia trip – “Well a lot of people said it is almost physically impossible for someone to go through 12 days.” And we were worried about Hillary’s health?”

Rest of world going ahead with TPP and Paris Climate Accord. #MAIA – Make American Isolated Again.

Silver lining for GOP with Roy Moore: Nobody is tweeting about their proposed tax relief for millionaires.