Archive for November 2017

After midnight.

November 11, 2017

What if you upset a top 10 team and no one was awake to see it.  #Stanford  #Washington

But yeah, that moment when #Stanford upsets top 10 #UW team & @ESPN doesn’t even mention it on their site. What East Coast bias?

Stanford football tickets have individual players’ pictures on them along with their majors. Just guessing that doesn’t happen in SEC. #nerdnation

Stanford frosh basketball star Kezie Okpala basketball will “sit out of competition” indefinitely due to low grade in his spring semester High School AP calculus course. At Kentucky they’re going “whats a calculus course?”‘

#RoyMoore in Oct on NFL players kneeling “It’s against the law, you know that. It was a act of Congress that every man stand and put their hand over their heart. That’s the law.” Sounds like Moore very unclear on legal use of hands.

 

Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones said his proposed lawsuit against NFL has nothing to do w/ Zeke suspension. Then he went off to work on his bridge sale in Brooklyn.

Maybe US women’s Gymnastics should look seriously into the possibility of using women doctors? #AlyRaisman

Got to love targeted Twitter advertising. Write a joke about UCLA players shoplifting Louis Vuitton sunglasses, get an ad for an LV purse.

Say one thing about Hollywood, when they now discover a sexual predator, they are more likely to dump him than compare him to father of Jesus. #RoyMoore

Here’s a hint. If you’re an adult man & you think you need to ask a girl’s mother for permission to date her, she’s too young. Period.

Ok all you 30-something men who want to date teenagers, just make sure their parents are Republicans.  Then it’ll be fine.

Still trying to wrap my head around many in Alabama preferring their teenage daughters date a 30-something man than girl their own age.

There is some particular irony for President Bone Spurs ending up in Vietnam on #VeteransDay.

 

#LouisCK “These stories are true.” That moment when a sexual predator comedian has more integrity than a man who wants to be Senator. #RoyMoore

Steve Bannon compares Roy Moore allegations to the Access Hollywood Trump tape. Yep. #predatorsofafeather

Eras of errors

November 10, 2017

The three arrested UCLA players were reportedly shoplifting Louis Vuitton sunglasses? They couldn’t have just bought fakes on street like other US tourists? #cantfixstupid

Anyone missing black light posters from 1970s should love Thursday night’s Seahawks uniforms.

In Fremont, California, a man’s car was towed when he was found to be driving on a suspended license. He then allegedly stole a FedEx truck and was arrested. Your move, Florida.

So Ezekiel Elliott’s suspension is back on as of Thursday morning. Too soon to start a pool on the next injunction?

Royals manager Ned Yost broke his pelvis when he fell working on a tree at his home. Hope if former Giants reliever Jeremy Affeldt has trees that he knows a good arborist.

Anthony Weiner is asking for pen pals in prison. I sure hope he’s also asking for proof of age.

Notre Dame reversed its decision to not provide free birth control to employees & students. Did someone remind them of need to recruit football players?

In Virginia,  Bob Marshall’s sister denounced him as homophobe on FB & said his loss to Danica Roem was “karma.” You think your Thanksgiving dinner will be awkward.

#FEMA is relocating some people from Puerto Rico at least temporarily to the US mainland. If it’s Florida can they stay until 2020 election?

Some boycotting Jim Beam over Mila Kunis’s donations to Planned Parenthood in Mike Pence’s name. Damn, does this mean I have to start drinking Jim Beam?

Pretty clear that if a lot of men in Hollywood want to save their careers they need to change their registration to GOP and run for office.

#RoyMoore has made a career of obsessing about other people’s sex lives. Beginning to think Freud might have been onto something.

Trying to imagine what would happen if same woman accused both Bill Clinton & Roy Moore. Fox News heads would explode.

That moment when we’re arguing over whether GOP candidate for Senate is a pedophile or just a sexual predator.

Four women have made allegations about #RoyMoore. Over-under on the total by the end of the weekend?

 

If there’s four there’s more. #RoyMoore

#RoyMoore blaming predator allegations on “Obama-Clinton machine’s liberal media lapdogs.” Congrats to all those who had “About 6 hours” in the pool.

Trump heading to Vietnam, Melania staying in Beijing before heading to Alaska. Wonder if @FLOTUS heard whispering “free at last, free at last…”

 

 

Not a joke, but a great memory about Roy Halladay from T.C.  quoting his Canadian Hall of Fame speech:  “In a road game, fireworks were being shot off every time the home team hit a homer. After giving up three home runs in the first couple of innings, the pitching coach came out. Halladay told him whatever he had to say to keep it to himself. The coach said he had nothing to say, but just came out to give the guy time to reload the fireworks.”

What’s the spread?

November 8, 2017

Jerry Jones has apparently declared war on Roger Goodell. Pass the popcorn, this could be more fun than most NFL games.

Jameis Winston apologized for inciting incident with Saints that led to Mike Evans suspension. Will Bucs QB say he was a little crabby?

Lonzo Ball says he hasn’t spoken to any of his family since his brother was arrested for shoplifting. So every cloud DOES have a silver lining?

Some media controversy since various New York Giants players have told reporters both that head coach Ben McAdoo does and doesn’t have the support of his team.

At 1-7 does it matter?

Christopher Plummer, 87 to replace Kevin Spacey in “All the Money in the World.” Twitter really needs to have #Trendingnotdead hashtag.

Not sure what Donna Brazile plans to do with the rest of her life, but clearly it doesn’t involve Democratic party.

A top focus for Danica Roem’s campaign was Northern Virginia traffic. Proving perhaps that most people don’t care what bathroom you use as long as it doesn’t take hours on road to get to one.

Some thought there’d be little election coverage on Fox News today. Wrong, plenty of coverage. On last year’s election. #WhenallelsefailsattackHillary

New Trump restrictions go into effect for Cuba today, making it much harder for ordinary Americans to travel there. But cigars & rum still OK. Priorities!

 

Give Trump credit. Might be first GOP President ever to be mocked at the #CMAawards #beforehetweets

 

Trump today in Beijing on trade “I don’t blame China.’ Too soon to start a pool on when he will next blame China?

Looking at minority and women’s vote totals from yesterday have to wonder how long before GOP tries to repeal 15th & 19th amendments?

Is “my memory has been refreshed” the new “pushed into a lifeboat?”. #Lewandowski

Trump apparently has been driving White House chef crazy trying to get him to replicate McDonald’s food. So he hasn’t heard of Doordash?

Sebastian Gorka now employed by Fox News. Congrats to all those who had Nov. 8 in the pool.

Interesting, praised @JustinTrudeau on Twitter & suddenly got an avalanche of responses, many from possible bots. So now Russia’s interested in Canada’s election?

If Democrats insist on focusing on last election, 2017 is now officially the last election. And the message is #unityindiversity

Three and done?

November 7, 2017

3 UCLA basketball players including LiAngelo Ball arrested in China for shoplifting. For change Lavar isn’t the embarrassing one in family?

Damn, #RoyHalladay. Remember that 2010 NLCS against Giants. And his no-hitter before that. Helluva pitcher. And apparently a really nice guy.

Spurs beat Clippers –  If they could only pick up a player like Tony Parker or Kawhi Leonard they might be a pretty good basketball team.

Colts owner Jim Irsay on Andrew Luck’s injury “You know, it’s inside his head now.'” Can’t imagine how NFL owners get reputation as deplorables.

A flight headed to Bali was forced to land after a woman looked at her husband’s cellphone, discovered he was cheating, and started trying to beat him up. Did she also call him a “motherf*cking snake on a motherf*cking plane?”

#Packers may be done for the season. But if we ever needed proof that Aaron Rodgers was a possible MVP…

 

Florida woman allegedly struck nightclub bouncer w/ a 12-pack of cans of  Pabst Blue Ribbon. Good thing for him she didn’t drink more expensive bottled beer.

Texas shooter attacked wife & child w/ his bare hands, didn’t kill them, attacked a dog w/ bare hands,, didn’t kill it. But w/ an AR-15…

Trump says “extreme vetting” for guns would have made “no difference 3 days ago.” Except for those 26 people who would now be alive. #WTF?

Syria has now decided to sign Paris climate change agreement, leaving US as only country out. Make America Isolated Again.

It’s only been a year since 2016, but as Democrat feels like it’s been long time since we’ve had good election night.

Trump attempted to go to Korean DMZ but had to turn back because of weather. So maybe even God doesn’t want him anywhere near North Korea.

 

 

Fox News calls Northam’s 8+pt win in Virginia by almost 250,000 votes a “tight race.” But Hillary Clinton losing 3 states & electoral college by less than 100,000 votes total was a blowout.

Mean bitch karma chugging her wine on this one: Transgender Danica Roem candidate just defeated incumbent Virginia lawmaker who sponsored an anti-transgender bathroom bill.

Trump, on Gillespie loss in Virginia, he “did not embrace me or what I stand for.” So if Ed really had, might he have lost by 20 pts?

Phil Murphy will be new New Jersey governor. Hoping Chris Christie doesn’t burn any bridges on his way out.

 

California has 14 GOP congresspersons. Would @realDonaldTrump like to endorse any of them? Please?

Don’t understand litmus tests for 100% agreement on issues some Dems demand of candidates. Most of us don’t agree 100% with friends & spouses

Analyze this?

November 6, 2017

Cashman – Yankees fired Girardi because Joe didn’t have good “connectivity” w/ clubhouse. “Connectivity?” Is that like exit velocity?

If all ex-players with CTE and/or dying young haven’t bothered you,  but guys kneeling to protest oppression makes you stop watching NFL, you might be a racist.

All these teams don’t want to sign Colin Kaepernick because they might hear boos from fans? Guess what… Packers, Browns, 49ers, Dolphins, Giants…

 

From Marc Ragovin  “MetLife Stadium is now known as Area 51.”

Kevin Spacey has entered a sex addiction rehab program in Arizona. Congrats to all those who had Nov 6 in the pool.

From T.C.  “A World Series fan picked the first 6 games correctly, parlaying a $200,000 bet into $14,000,000. He didn’t bet on game 7, saying he needed the funds to pay for his Yankee season tickets, hot dogs and beer.”

 

Rumors that Rand Paul’s neighbor assaulted him over some sort of issue over their lawns. If only they had both been armed. #duel?

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Many women appalled that a dispute over yards between neighbors would result in Rand Paul being assaulted. Not something serious like shopping.

Bernie Sanders petition wants DNC to implement policies to make “Democratic Party more inclusive.” Uh, Bernie, can you become a Democrat  first?

 

Interesting how same GOP that will do anything to help people keep their gun rights will do anything to take away other people’s voting rights.

GOP tax plan eliminates teachers’ ability to deduct cost of school supplies they buy from taxes. Makes sense, education causes Democrats.

Only problem w/everyone having guns is that when shooting starts, in chaos it’s hard to get good guys from the bad. Seriously.

 

Witness to #TexasChurchMassacre “The Bible tells us that we overcome evil with good.” How about good gun laws?

Kellyanne Conway “Rush” to politicize Texas shooting “disrespectful to dead.” Because in Murica we only politicize killings by brown people?’

An 18-month old was among those killed in #TexasChurchMassacre. Once again, how can you be so-called “pro-life” & anti-gun control?

 

 

Seriously, after latest Texas shooting, have to wonder, how many other domestic violence convictions have our armed forces not reported to civilian authorities?

Trump comment on recent mass shootings. “It isn’t a guns situation,” but “mental health problem at the highest level.”  The highest level as in the Oval Office?

Although Trump’s tweets so far from Asia are mild by his usual standards. Think maybe Kelly told him he didn’t have intl data plan & has control of his phone?

 

Juli Briskman, Virginia woman who flipped off Trump’s motorcade while riding bike, was fired for gesture. Guessing a few others might hire her.

If you’re in a state with 2017 elections, VOTE Tuesday  or give up all bitching rights. That is all.

Worse and worser.

November 5, 2017

49ers announcers talking pre-game about how the team is really better than their 0-8 record. Well, they could hardly be worse.

So how much better are they than their 0-9 record.

Tickets for 11/12 game at Levi’s between 1-7 #NYGiants & 0-9 #SF49ersdown to $20 on Stubhub. How long til they pay people to show up?
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Dallas Cowboys tweeted out “Not in Kansas” anymore after their home win over Chiefs. Uh, except neither is Kansas City, Missouri.

In a world that seems to be going insane at times, the 2017 SF 49ers are at least a comforting example of consistent suckiness.

Headline no one, even in New Orleans expected to see after NFL wk 2. – “Falcons drop chance to keep pace with Saints in shifting NFC South.”

A little good news for sports fans in Cleveland –#Browns are on a bye-week.

 

So how can we move the clocks back only one hour and it feels three hours later already.

#DonnaBrazile “Go to hell, I’m going to tell my story.” Fine, but can you keep your story straight then?

Paul Ryan says he doesn’t think Mueller should be fired. Makes sense, Ryan could quite possibly be a Pence scandal away from White House.

Reports #SutherlandSprings killer 26-yr old white man. Must make families & survivors feel better knowing they weren’t terrorist victims.

Hey @realDonaldTrump, that “Not in the USA!” tweet you sent after NYC killings, where is it today after white guy w/ gun killed 20+ people?

 

 

Texas killer “court-martialed in 2012 after being accused of assaulting his spouse & child.” How the f*ck was he able to buy a gun?

So maybe we could use some of that “extreme vetting” on gun sales?

“Thoughts and prayers?” Uh, people are dying while thinking in schools, and praying in church. What about actual change?

So is GOP inaction on gun control all part of a jobs program where we’ll need to hire armed security guards everywhere?

Look, I have friends who hunt & who own guns, would someone like to give me one good reason why ANYONE needs an AR-15? #SutherlandSprings

Waiting for the NRA statement defending rights of domestic abusers to own guns.

Looked at comments on Fox News. Saw expected calls for more guns, also many saying shooter was liberal Antifa member. #WTF#Deplorable

 

Rand Paul assaulted by neighbor – apparently two men didn’t like each other. Wonder what kind of security Ted Cruz needs around his house?

Time passages

November 4, 2017

This morning we set our clocks back a hour. While GOP is trying to set them back 50 years.

 

Big Justin Verlander fan But thinking many men wouldn’t be too sorry for him had Astros lost & marrying Kate Upton was consolation prize.

Since both #Pac12 and #Big10 champions will probably have two losses neither league likely to have team in Rose Bowl. #Sad

Oklahoma 62 to 52 victory over Oklahoma State great for fans of NBA All-Star game. #nodefense

Of course if Stanford players wanted to and could play in the snow some of them might have gone to the Big Ten. #StanfordvsWSU

So how much worse does it have to get before Urban Meyer retires again for health reasons? #OSUvsIOWA

Friday night FAU took late safety & won only 30-25.  Then Coach Lane Kiffin sent “joke” tweet on not covering 6.5 pt spread.   Can we check Kiffin for concussions?

House of Cards can solve problem by creating President Claire Underwood. Probably not workable for USA to do same for Melania.

In Wisconsin, lawmakers approved a bill eliminating ANY age restriction on children participating in a “mentored hunt”  effectively letting anyone hunt. The measure also would eliminate the requirement that a hunter and mentor have only one weapon between them.  What could possibly go wrong?

US woman in Zimbabwe charged w/ subversion for referring to Pres. Mugabe on Twitter as “sick man.” Let’s hope this doesn’t give Trump ideas.

 

Donna Brazile and Elizabeth Warren don’t seem to get that GOTV doesn’t mean “Gross Out the Voters.

And really, does anyone think @JoeBiden and @CoryBooker would have accepted the ticket as part of Brazile’s imaginary coup?
Is Donna Brazile hoping for a job at Fox News?
George W. Bush on Trump “This guy doesn’t know what it means to be President.” Scary thing, by comparison W. might be right.
In Hawaii yesterday, President Trump was greeted with “Welcome to Kenya” signs. Did he turn to Melania and say “See, I was right?”
Trump to hire 70 foreign workers at Mar-A-Lago claiming can’t find Americans to do jobs. Gosh, has he tried paying more money?

Beyond baseball

November 4, 2017

Houston Astros say they are not sure on a potential White House trip. Of course, they should be careful, Trump could see Altuve & try to deport him as unaccompanied immigrant child.

Alabama freshman quarterback Mac Jones, 19,  arrested Friday morning and charged with driving under the influence (along with improper identification by a minor.) Okay, I know there are rules against boosters providing cars to players. Maybe NCAA should reconsider Uber/Lyft credits?

 

New Nationals manager Dave Martinez, “We’re not here just to win playoff game. We’re here to win WorldSeries.” Can we start with a playoff series?

 

Watching Thunder this year with Carmelo Anthony. Is it just possible that cancer is contagious?

Dolly Parton’s ex-publicist accused of offering fans meet & greet for oral sex. If one of those women shot him might be good country song.

 

Netflix said no further production of House of Cards will include Kevin Spacey. Does this mean “President Claire Underwood?” #SilverLining

Whatever happened to La David Johnson f*cking sucks. Does anyone doubt if it was on Clinton’s watch GOP would be calling for impeachment?

Astros not sure on White House trip. Should be careful, Trump could see Altuve & try to deport him as unaccompanied immigrant child.

Ivanka Trump made a speech against sexual harassment. That’s like Colonel Sanders’ daughter making a speech for chicken rights.

Trump didn’t speak publicly at Pearl Harbor memorial. I think I speak for millions of Americans when I say, Thank God.

Person who shut down @realDonaldTrump twitter account reportedly a contractor. Can he/she contract next with the IRS?

Seriously, maybe even GOP should start getting a little nervous in that @realDonaldTrump wants to fire and/or prosecute anyone who disagrees with him?

 

As Bill Bradley 2000 supporter, didn’t occur to me to allege rigging when Primary process, as usual, HEAVILY favored front-runner Al Gore.

As Trump claims “Most Americans will be able to file taxes on a single piece of paper,” two words to him “You start.” #showusthemoney

So when is spring training?

November 2, 2017

I miss baseball. That is all.

Men who are Dodgers fans can perhaps at least console themselves with watching Kate Upton w/ her fiance at Astros victory parade?

Ugh, Texans QB Deshaun Watson suffered a torn ACL in practice. Is God really pushing this year for Kaepernick to get signed somewhere?

Notre Dame announced it will stop covering birth control for students, faculty & staff. Did someone tell the football team?

Innocent until proven guilty. But many powerful men being accused of sexual harassment are in He Said/She said/She said/She Said situations.

So Jeff Sessions, 71, admits to lying under oath. Well, since he can’t claim youthful indiscretion will he claim “senior moment?”

New hidden chamber just discovered in the Pyramid of Giza. Was it the site for the first broadcast of “Larry King Live?”

 

Thinking right about now better for Dems to focus on 2017 elections NEXT WEEK than 2016 elections.

Wonder how many reasons Rick Perry can give for his claim that fossil fuels prevent sexual assault?

 

Politics is messy. But lot of folks slamming @HillaryClinton for dredging up election to sell a book don’t have problem W/ @donnabrazile.

In a time when America needs heroes, who knew an unlikely one might be the now former Twitter employee who deleted Trump’s Twitter account?

3 dead in apparently random mass shooting at Colorado Walmart. Not terrorism of course because alleged shooter is white man. #Murica

Challenge anyone to say – with a straight face – that repealing the Alternative Minimum Tax or the Estate Tax is helping the middle class. #TaxCuts

Sam Clovis withdrew from consideration to be USDA top scientist over Mueller investigation. Not fact that he knows nothing about science.

Not I’m against NYC terrorist potentially getting death penalty but since we do need jurors for trial not good idea for @POTUS to tweet it.

Somebody doesn’t know me very well. This invite in my email in-box this morning: Headline “You’re invited!”
The Trump Hotels Travel Specialist course is an accredited online education tool dedicated to familiarizing you with our growing portfolio of luxury hotels in top locations, gateway cities and international destinations. We invite you to learn more about our superior travel experience, customized service, and Trump Hotels’ standard of excellence.

#NotTheOnion From USA Today: Other members of Mar-a-Lago, including South Florida businessman Patrick Park, have said they were promised ambassadorships in Trump administration.

Earlier this year, Park told The Palm Beach Post that he had received a handwritten note from Trump promising him the top diplomatic post in Austria — the setting of “The Sound of Music,” a favorite musical.

“I know every single word and song by heart,” he told the Post. “I’ve always wanted to live in the Von Trapp house.” Park had not been nominated as of early Thursday afternoon.

Go ‘Stros

November 1, 2017

It was less than 4 1/2 years ago when Matt Cain with #SFGiants threw a perfect game against then the worst team in baseball.

But hey, Astros have been bad so long that the stadium they were named for was built & torn down before they won World Series. #Astrodome

I officially love A.J. Hinch. Letting his pitcher bat in 9th with a 4 run lead. #Dancewiththemthatbrungyou

Fox talking about Jr. Home Run Derby during Altuve AB’s seemed somehow wrong. Most of these kids are taller than him.

 

Los Angeles Dodgers opening day 2017 payroll, $242 million. Houston Astros opening day 2017 payroll, $124 million.  Just saying.

Carlos Correa, with his post game 7 marriage proposal made most women go “aww…”  and most men hoping to pull off the ultimate marriage proposal thinking – “Thanks for setting impossible bar,   a**hole.”

 

On brighter note for LA fans , children in Africa are going to be getting really good looking blue & white Dodgers World Series Champions gear.

Also on brighter note, the 104 win 2017 LA Dodgers did get further than the 116 win 2001 Seattle Mariners.

Not a Dodgers fan, but as a baseball fan have to feel for for Yu Darvish. A class act.

Browns WR Josh Gordon has been conditionally reinstated to the NFL. Let’s hope he doesn’t go to Colorado to celebrate.

Actually while NFL conditionally reinstates Josh Gordon maybe they drug-test members of Browns staff involved in botched AJ McCarron trade?

Papa John’s, official NFL pizza company, thinks player protests hurting their profits. What if Papa John’s & NFL just have lousy product?

David Shaw says in Stanford-OSU game -“It was a gut feeling to stick with Keller Chryst.” Uh, coach Shaw, there are antacids for that.

Another day, another powerful man (men)  accused of sexual assault. Another reason maybe we need to have more women in charge?

John Kelly-“Robert E. Lee gave up his country to fight for his state.” Uh, Benedict Arnold gave up new country to fight for his 1st country.

 

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Before victims are buried from New York Terrorist Attack we’ve got at least two dead in shooting at Colorado Walmart. Nothing to see here. #Murica

And meanwhile, as Trump goes on immigration tirade, 2 are dead on street in NYC East Village from apparent murder-suicide shooting.   More #Murica

Always too soon to start talking climate change or gun control…. Never too early for @realDonaldTrump to start spewing hate.

 

Seeing #TheLionKing trending & happy to see it’s a new Disney movie w/great cast. Not documentary on @realDonaldTrump – #TheLyingKing

Laura Bush on the Trump family “I wish them the very best.” Is that Texan for “Bless their hearts?”

Don Jr. wants Chloe to give away candy to teach her about socialism. To teach her about zoology does he show her pics of animals he’s shot?

No joke, Trump wants to name his tax reform plan “The Cut Cut Cut Act.” Because “Millionaire Relief Act” doesn’t have the same ring to it?

Thinking back to Nixon and Watergate. US did get rid of Agnew first. Maybe we should start working on Pence?