Posted tagged ‘Stanton jokes’

Mistakes were made.

December 11, 2017

Giancarlo Stanton sounds positively giddy about leaving #Marlins for #Yankees. And of course NY fans & media will be so supportive if he has anything less than an MVP year.


NFL warned teams today it will begin “significant discipline” to anyone engaging in offensive conduct or contact against game officials.”
What about discipline for offensive officiating?

On a non-political note, three of the nicest words for Tuesday are “Kawhi Leonard ‘probable.”” #GoSpursGo @Spurs

According to Hank Schulman Stanton has been spending “Octobers in Europe unable to really watch the playoffs because it just kills him.”
Save this post if Yankees miss 2018 Postseason

Derek Jeter, on Stanton trade “No, there isn’t anything I would do differently.” Has someone checked former Yankees’ captain for concussions?


Maybe they don’t have Louis Vuitton stores in Lithuania?

Now it’s #CarsonWentz who is out for the season. With three weeks to go how many stars will be left for the @NFL playoffs?

Oops. Neither Bangladesh nor Brooklyn were on Trump’s travel ban list.#PortAuthority

#PortAuthority suspect said he made his bomb at work. And some people feel guilty about wasting employer time by with games or online shopping.

Dept of Education under Betsy Devos has stopped cancelling student loan debt for those defrauded by failed for-profit schools. Because how could they acknowledge it might have been a major mistake to attend Trump University?

Just imagine if when @BarackObama went to Hawaii for vacation he stayed at resort owned by his family & made a profit off trip. GOP heads would have exploded.

If you’re really “pro-life” it seems like a no-brainer to vote for man who successfully prosecuted murderers of four little girls. @GDouglasJones


December bringing different man or men every day accused of sexual harassment. This is becoming like a very twisted advent calendar.

It”s only Monday & this week #RyanLizza#MarioBatali…. Beginning to think it’s a bad idea to put men in positions of power.

Waiting for @realDonaldTrump to respond that he doesn’t get what all #KaylaMoore fuss is about “I have a Jew son-in-law.”


Just wondering, how many people have attorneys (plural) and KNOW what religion they all are? #KaylaMoore #NoMoore

Considering #KaylaMoore‘s “Jew” lawyer comment & his friend talking about child brothels, I understand why #RoyMoore tried to lie low weekend before election.

Crickets on #PortAuthority from @realDonaldTrump If alleged wannabe terrorist had been from country on his travel ban he’d have tweeted within 30 seconds.

Sarah Huckabee Sanders says on Trump sexual assault allegations “American people knew this & voted for him,”   So WTF was Donald Trump doing going after Bill Clinton 20+ years later after his election?

Trump attacks @NYTimes for saying he watches 4-8 hours of TV a day. Maybe he means he really watches 8-12 hours….


Still the captain?

December 9, 2017

If Yankees win 2018 World Series will they vote Jeter a playoff share?


So too soon to investigate former Yankee Derek Jeter for possible collusion?#Stanton

Maybe it’s time to rename them the Flori-duh Marlins.

If you already rooted against @Yankees then it’s not sour grapes if you start rooting against Stanton right? @SFGiants

Ohtani claimed he wanted a small market team. So will LA revert to calling themselves the Anaheim Angels?

United and Delta now doing basic economy fares on transatlantic flights. Because international flights weren’t fun enough without bargain-hunting families with children getting assigned to all middle seats and then trying to bug other people on the plane to switch with them.


As a candidate @realDonaldTrump mocked a disabled reporter. Last night he mocked a sexual assault victim. Make America Gross Again? #MAGA

At Trump’s first White House Hanukkah Party, did he tell them Christmas is back, bigger and better than ever?

At least one of the women who came forward about Roy Moore has been receiving death threats. And some still wonder why women don’t speak out.


We’ve gone from Senate candidate who dated children to congressman who wanted staffers to have his children. Can see why GOP is family values party.

Trump attacks @CNN after date error for being Fake News. But crickets on @FoxNews having to rescind the Roy Moore yearbook forgery story.

After Friday’s rally and ‘Lock her up” chants in Pensacola maybe the rest of Florida wants to secede from the Panhandle?

Fox News ranted about about acquittal in Kate Steinle case. Where’s their outrage on what seems much more egregious Daniel Shaver case?

What a world, many mass shootings & GOP still supports all gun owners. But idea that one #MeToo allegation might be false to them discredits all women.

More snow in Atlanta. Maybe someone shouldn’t have said hell would freeze over before the GOP endorsed a pro-slavery child molester for Senate.

GOP absolutely will fight for female baby’s right to be born so she can grow up & then be mocked & derided when she complains about sexual assault. #Prolifemyass

The pain, the pain.

November 18, 2014

Got an invitation for a pre-sale for “Hello Kitty’s Supercute Friendship Festival” at Oracle Arena. Anyone but me think that sounds like a violation of the Geneva Convention?

RB LeGarrette Blount is with his 4th team in 5 years, and was suspended most of a year at Oregon for punching another player. Now he was  released for apparently leaving the field before the end of the MNF game.  Congrats to all those who had November 18 in the pool.


Almost 100 years ago, an exchange that perhaps might have anticipated the gay men in the locker room shower silliness: Winston Churchill said to Lady Astor that having a woman in Parliament was like having one “intrude on you in the bathroom.” Her response “You are not handsome enough to have such fears.”

To put Giancarlo Stanton’s contract in absurd perspective. $325 million is more than half what it cost to build Marlins Park. ($515 million.)

Buzzfeed quoted a senior Uber exec at a dinner suggesting the company should consider hiring opposition researchers to dig up dirt about journalists who criticize them. Emil Michael, the exec in question says he wasn’t serious and he thought he was off the record anyway. Proving again that testosterone poisoning makes you stupid. Who in high tech thinks ANYTHING is off the record?

A controversy has erupted over about 1,000 autographed items allegedly signed by Jameis Winston. Part of it is that the authenticator wasn’t allowed to witness the signings. And part of it is that many doubt an FSU athlete could count to 1000.

FIFA today logged a criminal complaint against the bidding process for the 2018 and 2022 World Cups. Isn’t that like the pot suing the kettle?


The SF Giants’ Tim Hudson. 39, says he will probably retire after the 2015 season? “So young?” responded birthday boy Jamie Moyer, 52..

Starting in early 2015, tourists with a medical marijuana card from their home state can buy pot in Las Vegas. I can see it now “Dude, where’s my slots?”

But really, is this a good idea?  Medical marijuana and buffet restaurants?

#‎BigPapi‬ took ‪#‎PabloSandoval‬ to dinner in Boston. No word on whether or not ‪#‎Panda‬ will sign with the ‪#‎RedSox‬. But they may have at least temporarily  shut down an all-you-can-buffet.


From Marc Ragovin  “Peyton Manning threw two interception this past weekend in the Broncos loss. “Amateur,” said brother Eli.”