Left Coast Sports Babe

Ah, who are we kidding…?

UCLA and USC QBs Josh Rosen & Sam Darnold both declare they are leaving college early for NFL draft. Meaning other Pac 12 teams have improved chances next year of being beaten in better bowls.

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Of course the real question is which QB will be picked #1. And then maybe wish he had stayed with at least a semi-pro college team instead of the Browns.

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New Marlins owner Derek Jeter expects team to be profitable this season. Will revenue include that playoff share Jeter will be voted by the Yankees?

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Quote the Bengals to Ravens’ playoff hopes -. “Nevermore”

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NFL teams that started 0-2 in 2017: Jets, Bengals, Browns, Colts, Chargers, Bears, Saints, Giants & 49ers. ONE of them is in playoffs.

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And Drew Brees, 38, just set record for highest completion percentage by an NFL QB in a single season.  Imagine how good he’ll be with a little more maturity.

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Who says Wikipedia is always right? “The Cleveland Browns are a professional American football team based in Cleveland, Ohio.”
“Professional?”

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As we all wake up tomorrow  can we hope that on New Year’s Eve  Trump staffers and friends all got  as drunk and chatty as Papadopoulos at that London bar?

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And for those of us who are slow to adapt to change, maybe easier to change 2016 to 2018 rather than 2017 on our checks.

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But open note to anyone who said that after 2016, 2017 couldn’t be worse. Don’t make the same dare about 2018.

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On other hand, we’re finally done with 2017 emails pleading for last-minute donations. To be followed shortly by “Start 2018 off right by donating” emails.

Is it wrong to hope anti-vaccine advocate Jenny McCarthy, who co-hosted  #NewYearsRockinEve, ends up a  w/ bad case of flu after not getting a shot? Asking for a science-believing country.

Kind of comforting to know @BarackObama was in Hawaii tonight watching to see if rest of USA somehow made it safely to 2018.

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2nd coldest New Year’s Eve in New York ever….. Damn, now I wish that was somehow part of punchline for a joke on President Hillary Clinton.

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Although, it was so cold….did anyone check the ball  when it dropped for shrinkage?

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If @realDonaldTrump REALLY cared about Iranians, who are protesting at no small risk to themselves, he could, you know, maybe take them off his travel ban? #IranProtests

So did the #Pac12 get together & make a mutual pact to take bowl season off?

So Miami coach Mark Richt’s response in the Orange Bowl to what he thought was a missed holding call was to hold an official?

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On other hand, Richt got his team a 15 yard penalty but stayed in game. So one  thing learned from bowl weekend.    If you’re going to touch referee, you’d better be a white coach & not a black running back. #MarkRicht #BennySnell

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Louisville’s Lamar Jackson had a mixed game in a bowl loss to Mississippi State,  329 yds (171 passing & 158 rushing),  along with 3 TDs & FOUR interceptions.

On a brighter note, the interceptions might have reduced his chances of being drafted by the Browns.

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At Fiesta Bowl, with weather in 70s, roof was closed & AIR CONDITIONING is on. Most of rest of USA either thinking “We hate you” or planning to move to Arizona.

So will Papadopoulos blame his loose lips on too much covfefe?

If #Papadopoulos spilled details on Hillary email & Russia after a few glasses at a wine bar, can only imagine what he might have said after a few fabulous martinis at say, Dukes Hotel.

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“There was no collusion, and even if there was, it’s not a crime.” Whoever thought we’d miss ” I am not a crook.”

Who says Trump has no sense of comedy.   Right.  He doesn’t “like” to use Social Media like he won’t benefit from GOP tax bill…

“I use Social Media not because I like to, but because it is the only way to fight a VERY dishonest and unfair “press,” now often referred to as Fake News Media. Phony and non-existent “sources” are being used more often than ever. Many stories & reports a pure fiction!”

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On other hand,  how I’d love to be trying to write jokes about how #NewYearsEve would be so cold in DC Hillary Clinton would be ordering fleece-lined pantsuits for White House.

In Texas, a truck crashed & spilled 40,000 lbs of avocados on I-35 just south of Dallas. “Holy guacamole, Batman.”

The incident was almost as embarrassing as the Cowboys’s season.

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Heisman winning QB Baker Mayfield said he was sick & didn’t go with Oklahoma’s Disneyland California Adventure Park. Hmm, a Mickey Mouse excuse?

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On other hand,  Disneyland had a massive power outage that stranded some guests on rides. If those rides included “It’s a Small World” wonder how many might claim PTSD afterward.

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You could tell Purdue fans in San Francisco  for Foster Farms Bowl. They were ones walking around in shirtsleeves and shorts in 60 degree weather. And grinning.

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Consolation for Stanford fans in #AlamoBowl….. at least anyone who bet on #Cardinal as 3-points underdogs ending up winning.

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Okay, where’s @realDonaldTrump’s defense of @Saints rookie RB?
Except that Sean Payton & Drew Brees have both made reasonable political statements.

NFL ‘Grinch’ fines Kamara for holiday-themed cleats

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Apple in announcing reduced battery prices. “We have never-& would never-do anything to intentionally shorten life of any Apple product, or degrade user experience to drive customer upgrades.” I like “pushed into lifeboat better.”

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If @realDonaldTrump were actually doing as good a job as President as he claims why would he care if Americans knew he was golfing?

and hey, if you have to get a truck to block press view of you golfing you just might be doing too much golfing.

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 Lindsay Lohan posted on Instagram about being bitten by a snake while on vacation in Thailand. I miss days when Lindsay Lohan stories were craziest headlines in US.

People MIGHT pay more attention to bowl games if we could do office pools on them. Except that most offices close last week in December.

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Guessing Stanford Athletic Dept won’t be sending marketing emails to fans & alums saying “Remember the Alamo.” #AlamoBowl

 Waiting to see how long it takes Roy Moore to condemn “liberal” Alabama judges.

If  @realDonaldTrump were actually doing as good a job as President as he claims why would he care if Americans knew he was golfing?

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Lindsay Lohan posted on Instagram about being bitten by a snake while on vacation in Thailand. I miss days when Lindsay Lohan stories were craziest headlines in US.

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People MIGHT pay more attention to bowl games if we could do office pools on them. Except that most offices close last week in December.

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Duke vs Northern Illinois Tuesday. “I’ll take teams that should be a March Madness instead of a bowl matchup for $400, Alex.”

Last home games in Nashville & Baltimore will now be at night in winter because @NFL thinks it’s more fair with teams trying for playoffs. Same that logic didn’t apply for scheduling Thursday Night Football.

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At Orlando airport this morning, there were major TSA delays after passenger w/ concealed-carry permit tried to bring a gun & ammunition in his carry-on bag. Back on your game, Florida.

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Actual talk in Britain that Prince Harry is thinking of inviting the Obamas to his comparatively small wedding, but not Trump. And that some in government are worried it will upset the President and cause problems for US-Britain relations.

Three words for Harry from the USA “Just do it.”

AP reports that Trump has not had a single State dinner as President. Makes sense – he can’t make a profit off of a meal he serves at the White House.

The White House is removing a centuries-old Jackson Magnolia tree.  Now apparently the tree is old and sick and arborists have been trying to treat it for some time. But guessing they could have got Trump’s permission just by saying it was Obama’s favorite.

As media tries so hard to find stories of Trumpsters who still support @realDonaldTrump wouldn’t it be easier to interview members at Mar-A-Lago & Bedminster?

n England, Dec 26 is known as “Boxing Day.”   Wonder if in USA Dec 25 became “Boxing Day” or maybe just “Punching Day” as liberals ended up having to spend all day w/ pro-Trump relatives?

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So if saying “Merry Christmas” is defending Christianity shouldn’t that mean celebrating Cinco de Mayo is defending Mexican immigrants?

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Sad news.  RIP Heather Menzies Urich, 68 -, “Louisa,” Or as we should say “So, long, farewell….Auf wiedersehen, goodbye.

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So will the NY Jets’ motto for next season be “At least we suck less than the NY Giants?”

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Santa didn’t bring SF Giants fans everything we wished for. But maybe we can pick up a power-hitter in the after-Christmas sales?

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Cowboys owner Jerry Jones, after missing the playoffs. “I feel good about our head coach.” Translation, I haven’t figured who I want to replace him with yet.

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A JetBlue flight tonight from Savannah to Boston skidded off the runway into the snow at Logan Airport tonight. No injuries, and since JetBlue has Direct TV, maybe passengers at least got to see themselves make the news?

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Russia has barred opposition leader Alexey Navalny from running against Putin in 2018. Trump is thinking “You can do that?”

Barack Obama sent out a Merry Christmas tweet and it got more likes than any tweet Trump sent out this year.

After giving birth in Sept, Serena Williams will return to competitive tennis this weekend in Abu Dhabi.  Four words  “Weaker sex my ass.”

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In a crazy and uncertain world we should perhaps thank #Browns for being a model of consistency this season.

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President Trump & Melania helped take #NORAD calls today. Did Donald tell the kids Santa would do better on a Trump plane?

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“You all just got a lot richer,” Trump to friends at #MaraLago. No wonder he hates the media. They have nasty habit of reporting what he says.

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Got to love Trump tweeting “I am proud to have led the charge against the assault of our cherished and beautiful phrase. MERRY CHRISTMAS” from the most Jewish part of South Florida. #HappyBelatedHannukah

At Mar-A-Lago do they show @realDonaldTrump a version of #ItsAWonderfulLife where George Bailey jumps off that bridge & Potter’s dearest slumlord dreams come true?

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Pretty sure most Americans, Christian or not, don’t think “Merry Christmas” is offensive. Saying you’ve saved “Merry Christmas,” now THAT’s offensive.

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Remember those innocent Christmases past when political comics used to think “Dear Santa, all I want is a steady daily supply of good material?”

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And finally, to all my readers, regular and random. Merry Christmas or whatever you celebrate.  We have to keep laughing. Otherwise the bad guys win.

A number of people are taking Christmas weekend off. Including so far at this point,  the Golden State Warriors.

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14 college football bowl games played already. Can anybody name one?

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As Trump vents from his phone at Mar-A-Lago thinking how nice it might be for America if he spent more afternoons in front of TV just watching sports.

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Los Angeles animal shelters considering feeding dogs an all vegan diet. Seriously.  Your move, Berkeley.

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So NFL ratings down for anthem protests? Or for injuries, increasing proof of CTE… and the fact there are a lot of seriously lousy teams?

Wyoming QB Josh Allen says he will enter NFL draft & forgo his senior year of eligibility. Wow. Giving up perhaps chance for 2nd win in Famous Idaho Potato Bowl?

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6-6 Florida State had to issue statement declaring Delaware State a valid FCS opponent, because without thatt 77-6 win Seminoles wouldn’t have been eligible for the… Walk-On Independence Bowl?!

How the mighty have fallen.

Facebook ads for Christmas Eve Brunch with wine starting at 11a. Well, one way to avoid family stress later in the day is to be asleep by dinner time.

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Miss America CEO & others have resigned over derogatory emails about contestants & pageant winners. How long until they get offered jobs in Trump administration?

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Isn’t Christmas a time to be grateful to those who give us gifts? And here Trump is trashing Comey again after former FBI director gave him the Presidency.

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Bomb squad called to Steven Mnuchin’s mansion found instead, literally, gift-wrapped horse shit. Which actually seems like a perfect metaphor for #GOPTaxBill

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Trump reportedly furious about anonymous sources who claimed he made derogatory remarks about Haitians & Nigerians. Will he tweet “Many people are saying this proves @NYTimes is #FakeNews?”

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As we’ve turned the corner on Winter Solstice days are slowly getting less dark. Maybe a metaphor for the country? #Alwaysdarkestbeforethedawn#WecanDream #Resist

Friday night, Dec 22,  and there have already been 11 bowl games.   Wonder how many non-alums or family members of schools involved can name the teams involved in any of them?

UCLA announced basketball players, Cody Riley & Jalen Hill, arrested along w/ LiAngelo Ball in China, will not play any of 2017-18 season. Translation, neither were expected to star on the team

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Police on scene after “former stadium worker” apparently tried to gain access to Lambeau Field. Hope it wasn’t Brett Favre screaming “I can still play!!!”

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Awful that it’s come to having #DickEnberg, who seemed one of best guys in sports, trend because he died, and thinking “thank God HE wasn’t accused of sexual harassment.”

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A week after election,  Roy Moore still hasn’t conceded. But to be fair, it’s a really busy time at the mall.

There was a college football bowl game tonight. Serious points if you can name it without Google!

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After two years of ZERO players named to the Pro Bowl, New Orleans Saints had six in 2017. Hope Roger Goodell doesn’t see those numbers and decide to make it a punishable offense.

Carolina LB Thomas Davis’s 2-game suspension for illegal helmet hit on Davante Adams reduced to 1. So he’ll only miss Tampa Bay. Translation, NFL wants people to watch Panthers-Falcons Dec 31.

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After FAU’s first 10 win season ever, Lane Kiffin gets 10-year coaching contract. And if Kiffin stays successful with the Owls he’ll serve out about two years of it.

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I miss the days when Colts sneaking out of town in middle of night was biggest travesty in the Baltimore-DC metropolitan area. #GOPTaxScamBill

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The only truth about “job creation” in #GOPTaxScamBill is how many more jobs it will create for accountants & lawyers to exploit loopholes in this so-called simplification.

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Cardinal Bernard Law, 86, former archbishop of Boston who protected pedophile priests, has died. Hope he likes really warm temperatures.

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Many Democratic Senators are millionaires too. But Dems, unlike GOP, are capable of voting against their own personal self-interest to help average constituents

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#SusanCollins says coverage of her tax vote is “unbelievably sexist.” Maybe because we still expect women to be more principled than men?

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#GOPTaxBill will eliminate deductions for losses caused by fires, flooding & most natural disasters like tornadoes. Good thing for Trump voters those never happen in Red States.

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Ben Carson in Puerto Rico, recovery is ‘better than what I had heard.” Uh, how can it be better than the 10 out of 10 your boss gave himself?

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Sarah and Todd Palin may not bail their son out of jail in time for Christmas. And you think your family holidays are awkward.

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Couple near LA arrested for trying to sell young sons for drugs. What kind of monsters try to sell little children? Now, teenagers many parents would give away….

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As it appears increasingly likely that human error and/or reckless speeding caused yesterday’s Amtrak crash, another reminder that we have less to fear from terrorism than stupidity.

Mainstream Republicans went from hating Trump to his partners-in-crime on GOP tax bill.   Turds of a feather….

Heard ABC today suggest viewers stay tuned for the “Post Game Trophy Presentation” after Las Vegas Bowl. Thinking if you actually want to watch and don’t have a relative on Boise State football team, you may need an intervention.

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Kobe Bryant’s jersey will be retired Monday night at Staples Center. In his honor will Lakers ask fans not even to pass the popcorn?

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With three starters out,  including Tony Parker and Kawhi Leonard,, and down 9 points with 3 minutes to go today, Spurs went on 13-0 run to win game against Mavericks. It is just possible that Gregg Popovich is a very very good coach.

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As of Dec 16, three next #TNF  (Thursday night football)  games are on Saturday night. Just in case anyone still thought it wasn’t all about $$$.

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If HHS has to start calling ACA “Obamacare,” can we start calling the GOP Tax Bill “Trumpdoesntcare”?

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Granted it’s stupid to put anything in “private” text you wouldn’t want to see printed in newspaper. But who at FBI or indeed most professions doesn’t have political opinions?

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Trump says tax bill is a “great gift” for the middle class. Right, like the Queen’s gift to Snow White. #PoisonedApple

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If George Carlin were alive he’d be using all his seven words repeatedly over the #CDC7words.

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Marco Rubio again proves he’s Senate equivalent of a $10 Rolex from a street vendor. Bright, shiny and impressive for about 24 hours.

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CDC not allowed to use phrase “science-based.” Standby until next week when Trump administration forbids govt agencies from using word “science.”

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Anyone really surprised Trump is recommending a book he didn’t read? Heck, he didn’t read the book he wrote.

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Blaming anthem protests for declining viewership when many NFL teams are unwatchable makes as much sense as blaming Hillary Clinton for everything wrong with Trump presidency….

Trump supporters now claiming Mueller unlawfully obtained his emails. As opposed to “Russia, if you’re listening, I hope you’re able to find the 30,000 emails that are missing.”

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All you need to know about today’s GOP is that they profess to be pro-life, but aren’t willing to fund CHIP.