Posted tagged ‘Christine O’Donnell jokes’

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Which witch?

December 14, 2011

Christine O’Donnell announced tonight she is backing Mitt Romney. Well, while Mitt is trying to appease Christians who have a problem with his Mormonism,a the endorsement of a former Senate candidate who “dabbled” in witchcraft should be just what he needs….

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Donald Trump just backed out of the Newsmax GOP debate – which had only two candidates remaining. And the Donald made it clear he doesn’t feel there is a conflict of interest between running for President and moderating a debate. Hmm, wonder how he would feel about President Obama moderating the next one?

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Doesn’t seem like much hope for the Hornets to hang onto their star Chris Paul. Maybe if they rename the team “The Los Angeles Hornets of New Orleans?”

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In an interview with a Christian radio station, Deirdre Pujols defended her husband’s decision to leave St. Louis, saying of course that it wasn’t about money, and closing with “It’s just like God to put us on a team called the Angels.” Even Tim Tebow said, “Isn’t that just a bit much?”

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In the San Francisco area, nine Chuck E. Cheese pizza parlors have been fined for violating federal child-labor laws, apparently because they had teenagers operating trash compactors. Not as one might think, for torturing the teenagers by having them listen to that music and screaming little kids for over eight hours at a time.

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Of course, if O’Donnell really wanted to help Romney, maybe she could turn some of his opponents into toads. (Yes, I am aware in some cases this might be considered redundant.)

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An Italian woman, 94, left $13 million to her 4-year-old cat, Tomasso, who she had adopted as a stray kitten. Well, actually sounds like it must have been a more fulfilling relationship than either of Kim Kardashian’s marriages.

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Rick Santorum says he is doesn’t think he qualifies as a celebrity – “I travel by myself….I’m sitting middle seats on United Airways flights or Delta flights…” And this man thinks as President he could find good people to help him run the country? He can’t even find a good travel agent.

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I love British newspapers: Today’s Daily Mail (U.K.), headline – pulling no punches on a certain U.S. candidate – “Thrice-married and known adulterer Newt Gingrich signs fidelity pledge to sure up votes in Iowa.”

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You cannot make this “stuff” up item for the day. Jerry Sandusky’s lawyer, Joseph Amendola said that anyone who believes his client is a child molester should call “1-800-REALITY.” Uh, fine, except this is the response you get “Hi guys, welcome to the hottest place for triple-x action … gay, bi, and bi-curious studs… Just 99 cents per minute.”

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Due to leaked photos, Lindsay Lohan’s Playboy issue is going to be out early. Just like Lindsay with her jail sentences.

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From Bill Littlejohn: Lindsay Lohan looks to rival Marilyn Monroe on the cover of Playboy—if Marilyn were alive, they’d both look 86 years old”

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A Vietnam vet in N.H. asked the candidate about his position on same-sex marriage. Mitt replied “At the time the Constitution was written it was pretty clear that marriage is between a man and a woman, and I don’t believe the (N.H) Supreme Court has changed that.” Well, actually at the time the Constitution was written, Americans were allowed to own slaves.

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The King is dead, long live the …?

August 20, 2011

Burger King has apparently decided to stop using their creepy King mascot. Republicans responded to this news with – “Yet another job loss we can blame on President Obama.”

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Not getting this. All the GOP Presidential contenders say that Obama’s actions are making the economy worse. But they are calling on him to come home from vacation. Uh, if what he does hurts the economy, wouldn’t it be better for him to stay away?

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These days the San Francisco Giants are practicing an “Abstinence only” offense: No scoring.

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Some think the SF Giants just really need to get their confidence up by batting against a pitcher they can hit. Wonder if they could get a pickup game with a contender in the Little League World Series.

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from T.C. A bat on board grounded a Delta regional flight to Atlanta. It wasn’t the plane carrying the SF Giants, cause we all know they don’t have any bats.

The Chicago Cubs fired GM Jim Hendry after nine years. Nine years. It took the team that long to figure out Hendry wasn’t going to get them to the World Series? That’s like saying it took Hillary Clinton nine years to figure out Bill wasn’t going to be a faithful husband.

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With one of the highest payrolls and worst records in MLB, the Chicago Cubs on Friday announced they had fired GM Jim Hendry. According to ESPN.com the actual firing was July 22, but Hendry wanted to help the team by staying on through the July 31 trading deadline. Uh, if he were “helping” the team as GM, wouldn’t Hendry still be employed?

Bristol Palin has had a “T” tattoed on her right foot to signify family – as she said “Track, Trigg, Tripp and Todd.” Don’t forget “Trash.”

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Once again there are reports out of 49ers training camp that “Alex Smith looks good in practice.” What’s the reverse corollary of bad dress rehearsal – good play?

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Christine O’Donnell is now claiming that she walked out on the interview with Piers Morgan because he was sexually harassing here. O’Donnell may not have won her Senate race but she has accomplished something more difficult – making Piers Morgan seem almost sympathetic.

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Texas Governor Rick Perry when asked if he believes in evolution – “It’s a theory that’s out there.” Shame no one can ask God if He/She believes in Rick Perry.

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During his time at Texas A & M, Rick Perry was a “yell leader,” not a cheerleader, a “yell leader.” (They lead the crowd in chants at sporting events but don’t do flips etc.) On the official A & M yell leader website it states, “It is not uncommon for more than twice as many students to vote for yell leader candidates than vote in the Student Body President elections. In Texas, why am I not surprised

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Decisions, decisions.

October 30, 2010

Minnesota coach Brad Childress said he will not decide until Sunday who will be the Vikings starting quarterback. Which means millions of sports fans around the world can now enjoy the delightful idea of Brett Favre thinking “Ah come on, can’t you just make up your mind?”

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It’s only a few days until the election. Christine O’Donnell, however, is not planning to campaign on October 31. Since it’s a religious holiday.

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Houston Texans owner Bob McNair had the team’s locker room searched to make sure no players were using banned PEDs. (performance enhancing drugs.) 

Well, at least we know Rangers owner Nolan Ryan won’t be needing to do that for any members of his bullpen.

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In fact,  Nolan Ryan will throw out the first pitch for game 3 of the World Series in Texas. And then Rangers coach Ron Washington has asked him to go immediately to the bullpen to be ready to warm up.

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MLB commissioner Bud Selig denied any disappointment with the Giants-Rangers World Series matchup, despite early low ratings.  He added “I know FOX was happy and we were happy.” Right, and the performance-enhancing drug era in baseball is over.

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So let’s see, the favorites to play in the World Series were New York and Philadelphia, two major East Coast media markets.   With A-Rod, Derek Jeter, Ryan Howard, and Roy Halladay.

And the end result was two teams with few players casual fans outside of SF and Texas recognize,  except maybe “the pitcher kid with the hippie hair,” and Josh Hamilton.

So sure, FOX was thrilled.  That’s about as likely as after the Series the network’s doing a show on the “major first term accomplishments of Barack Obama.”

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A t-shirt in Texas takes aim at Aubrey Huff’s “rally thong” by proclaiming “In Texas, only the players’ wifes wear thongs.”  Well, considering the way the Rangers hit in games one and two, maybe they should consider a “Victoria’s Secret” run.

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There’s no love lost between Sarah Palin and Senator Lisa Murkowski. Said Palin, who said it was “shameful” for Murkowski to run as a write-in candidate. “Let’s call her the candidate for the entitlement party.” Guess Sarah is particularly upset since she’s the chair of that entitlement party.

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In only a few days Americans will finally get a break from political commercials. This break should last until the 2012 commercials start, which should be at least at least a few weeks.

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Roger Goddell said the NFL is seriously considering expanding to Europe.  In San Francisco fans are suggesting, why don’t they just keep the 49ers there for a few years?

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A few notes…

October 14, 2010

Open note to Tea Party and anti-government types. Regarding those Chilean miners. Private enterprise got them in there, a government-led rescue operation, aided by other countries, got them out.

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Interesting parallels between the Chilean miners and the San Francisco 49ers.  The miners were just rescued from underground, the 49ers will probably be buried again next Sunday. 

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Meg Whitman has now spent $140 million on her campaign for governor in California. At this rate she will easily eclipse the 2010 record for spending in a lost cause – $146 million, which was the payroll of the Chicago Cubs.

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Meg  Whitman did say on CNN that she was finally going to accept Jerry Brown’s apology for the slur his wife may have used, and that ” it’s time to talk about the issues.”

Translation, the only people who really cared about the “whore” comment were the ones who thought Jerry’s wife was right.

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Federal prosecutors in Detroit were embarrassed to find out that a man they had charged with running an illegal lottery is actually dead.  In their defense, apparently the man did just vote in Chicago.

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Two women were kicked out of a Baltimore Ravens game for kissing in a concession line. Male fans of at least 20 other teams have since invited the women to come attend a game at THEIR stadium.

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Meanwhile, to highlight “Breast Cancer Awareness Month, the White House was lit up with pink light on Thursday. Bill Clinton has allegedly volunteered to do his part too, offering free manual breast exams.”

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Ines Sainz, the TV reporter who was harassed by the Jets, said she would no longer do interviews in NFL locker rooms as “It’s not a good place right now for me.” Sainz was wearing a sequined mini skirt and blouse at the time. With all due respect, NFL locker rooms are probably not a good place for anyone, male or female, wearing a sequined miniskirt.

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Christine O’Donnell has exaggerated her college studies, and when asked, could not think of a single Supreme Court decision she disagreed with. But she says if elected, she will “defend the Constitution.”  Defend it?  Why should we think she has even read it?

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Privately, John McCain was appalled that Christine O’Donnell couldnt even name one recent Supreme Court case.   Jeez, he reportedly  fumed privately, she couldn’t have even said “Dred Scott”?

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Meanwhile, you’ve got to love Carly Fiorina’s “Party doesn’t Matter” ad against Barbara Boxer. Especially at the end where it says “Paid for by the Republican Senatorial Committee.”

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Beyond the regular season.

October 6, 2010

The Arizona Diamondbacks set a MLB record this year by striking out 1,507 times. That’s about 9 1/2 times PER GAME. On the bright side, the hitters did do their part to reduce the air-conditioning bill and thus carbon footprint at Chase Field.

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Sometimes the best trades are the ones you don’t make. Remember all the SF Giants fans back in July who wanted to swap Jonathan Sanchez for a bat?

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The Angels are out and the Dodgers are out. So this year, it’s not just NFL fans in Los Angeles who won’t see any wins in October.
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Interesting/scary stat of the day, the four highest paid players on the SF Giants’ payroll for 2010 are: Barry Zito $18,5 million, Aaron Rowand $13.6 million, Jose Guillen, $12 million (mostly paid by the Kansas City Royals.) , and Edgar Renteria $10 million. And all of them could, and maybe should, be left off the playoff roster.
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In Alabama, 11 people, including four Alabama state legislators and three lobbyists, were charged in connection with an alleged scheme to bribe legislators for their votes on proposed gambling and entertainment legislation. The arrests were the result of an FBI investigation. Observers in Louisiana had one comment – “Amateurs.”
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In Christine O’Donnell’s first television ad of the general election she states “I am not a witch.” Tranlation, Hogwarts has no record of her attending classes there either.

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Christine O’Donnell said in 2006 that she had secret “classified information” that China was plotting to take over America. If O’Donnell was talking about our economy she was only about 5 years too late.

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After the Giants clinched, SF pitcher Tim Lincecum set off a mini media storm Sunday by dropping the F-bomb while he was being interviewed on the field. Big deal, Mets fans have been dropping the F-bomb all year, watching their team on the field.

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Eliot Spitzer said in an interview with Parade Magazine this weekend that ‘You learn more by losing than by winning.” Which means the Detroit Lions are the smartest team in America.

(feel free to subtitute San Francisco 49ers, Maple Leafs, Chicago Cubs, or your team of choice)

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With the San Francisco 49ers at 0-4, prices for potential PSL’s (Personal Seat Licenses) are going up. If things don’t improve, who knows how much the team will end up having to pay season ticket holders to buy them?

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Michael Vick says he’s going to be out “maybe two weeks.” Wonder how long that is in dog years?

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In Alabama, 11 people, including four Alabama state legislators and three lobbyists, were charged in connection with an alleged scheme to bribe legislators for their votes on proposed gambling and entertainment legislation. The arrests were the result of an FBI investigation. Observers in Louisiana had one comment – “Amateurs.”

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Giants baseball…

October 2, 2010

A violation of the Geneva Convention? But really, who said it was going to be easy in San Francisco? And now all that Giants fans have to do is relax tomorrow afternoon and watch Barry Zito.

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(And open note to bandwagon fans, when the Giants give out “rally rags,” like they did tonight to all 42,000 plus in the stadium, the rags should be waived when the GIANTS are hitting. Not the other guys.)

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On the other hand, you know it’s been a rough season for baseball fans in Los Angeles when there’s more September-October drama in the courtroom for the McCourt’s divorce than on the field at Dodger Stadium

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A massive and unseasonal storm has flooded parts of the East Coast. Normally the biggest thing underwater there this time of year is the Mets’ playoff chances.

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Meanwhile, Bud Selig proudly announced that this year, there will be ONE World Series game that will start early, at 655p Eastern, instead of 830p, for the benefit of children who might want to watch the game. And let’s see, with the number of commercial breaks, a near 7pm start might actually get the game finished by 11pm.

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The South Carolina Senate race already has a Green candidate and two write-in candidates, after controversial novice Alvin Greene won the Democratic primary. Now celebrity chef and cookbook author Nathalie Dupree has entered the race, also as a write-in candidate. Her slogan? Maybe “Getting out of the kitchen, but I can stand the heat.”

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The latest from Delaware’s Christine O’Donnell, about her “dabbling” as a youth.

“I would have become a Hare Krishna, but I didn’t want to become a vegetarian. And that is honestly the reason why, because I’m Italian and I love meatballs.”

Does this mean if they had good Gardenburgers back then that O’Donnell would now be the first Tea Party Hare Krishna candidate?

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News Corp, the parent company of Fox News, just gave $1 million to the U.S Chamber of Commerce, a pro-GOP business lobby that is trying to help the Republicans retake control of Congress. Golly. This could lead to people thinking Fox News might be biased.

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Nevada Senate candidate Sharron Angle now has another Tea Party competitor, Scott Ashijian, who is running as a write-in candidate. Said one of Angle’s angry supporters, Scott Ashjian is an egomaniac whack-job.” Guess they’re worried about splitting that all important “whack-job” vote.

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EPCOT Center in Disney World has announced they are celebrating their 28th anniversary. Either that or 28 was their daily attendance. Not sure.

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San Francisco 49ers strong safety Michael Lewis didn’t apparently show up for practice today. Should we be surprised? Most of the 49ers’ defense hasn’t shown up on Sundays all year

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Singer-songwriter Bruno Mars has been arrested on felony cocaine-possession charges in Las Vegas. His alleged words to the police officers “That’s the last time I borrow gum from Paris Hilton.”

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A nice one from Bill Littlejohn:

At a Great Sports Legends Dinner on Monday, former President Bill Clinton said that he’s ‘dreamed
of getting a lesson from Annika Sorenstam’. He said he’d also like her to teach him some golf.

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It pays to be frugal…

October 1, 2010

Right about now Jerry Brown has to be thanking his lucky stars that he’s too cheap to hire a housekeeper.

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Just wondering though, if it had been Jerry Brown who had the illegal housekeeper, would Meg Whitman say it was a non-issue and he had no real reason to doubt her?

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But seriously, Meg Whitman has stated strongly that illegal immigrants should be deported, Yet if you listen to Meg’s side of “Nannygate, the sequel,” she alleges that she found out her housekeeper, who had “become a member of their extended family” was illegal in back 2009 and chose to fire her rather than have her arrested.

Wouldn’t you think the personal experience just MIGHT have made her see that there are shades of gray with this issue…? (Well, we can dream…)

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Regarding this housekeeper with the phony social security number. Presumably Whitman withheld taxes from her paycheck, and paid her employer social security contribution as well. But in cases where it’s a phony number, the employee never gets anything back…..it’s basically free money for the government.

And right or wrong, the government is taking in a LOT of money this way.

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It just gets worse for Christine O’Donnell. Today a number of witches and warlocks came forward to say that besides not attending all those schools, they have no record of her ever really dabbling in witchcraft either.

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The SF Giants were 6 1/2 games out of first place on August 25. Thursday they clinched at least a tie for the Western Division title. Are we sure someone on the team isn’t dabbling in witchcraft?

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On the other hand, the Padres have lost 22 of 34 games since Aug. 25. They’ve fallen faster than Lebron James’ reputation.

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After an off-season marred by controversy with players increasingly calling the shots as to in which big market they want to play, and others, still under contract, acting like spoiled children who want to play only with their friends, the NBA has taken some action.

Coaches will no longer be allowed to wear mock turtlenecks under their suit jacket; a collared shirt will be required. Good to see the league is a dealing with the important issues.

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Tour de France champion Alberto Contador is blaming contaminated meat for his positive doping test. Great, now how many world-class athletes will claim to have been hanging out with Lady Gaga?

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Chad Ochocinco has a breakfast cereal sold in the Cincinnati area that benefits “Feed the Children” Unfortunately a phone number on the box for further donations has a typo that results in callers reaching a phone sex line. Not maybe what Ochocino meant in his tweet urging his fans to buy the cereal and “start your day with a l’il sugar.”

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Classes? Classes? We don’t need no stinkin’ classes.

September 30, 2010

Christine O’Donnell lists both Claremont Graduate University and Oxford University on her resume. But this week both institutions denied she had ever attended their classes. USC is wondering if they can use the same logic with Reggie Bush.

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This week, Jimmy Raye became the fifth 49ers offensive-coordinator fired since QB Alex Smith has been with the club. Isn’t simply blaming the 49ers’ struggles on the latest offensive coordinator kind of like simply blaming Larry King’s latest wife for the failure of their marriage?

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Okay, regarding illegal immigrants, what’s the over-under on what percentage of Californians have hired someone illegal in their lives, either directly or through a contractor? I’m guessing about 90 percent have done so. (Have you hired babysitters, gardeners, contractors, housecleaners.. ? And this doesn’t count second-hand things like having your car washed, eating in restaurants, buying cheap produce.

Not saying it’s avoidable, but hypocrisy is a problem.

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And regarding Meg Whitman’s housekeeper situation: This is one of many reasons why voting and following politics is important. Anyone who paid attention to Nannygate (Bill Clinton losing TWO Attorney General nominees over illegal nannies) in 1993 would have known – check identification for household staff CAREFULLY.

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Tour de France winner Alberto Contador became the latest top cyclist to test possible for a banned drug. He blamed “tainted food.” What, was his team all out of “tainted supplements?”

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‎2009 Horse of the Year Rachel Alexandra will be retired and bred to Curlin, the 2007-08 Horse of the Year. Her owner said it was time to “reward her with a less stressful life.” Only in the equine world would motherhood be viewed as “a less stressful life.”

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Jersey Shore” star Snooki has a book deal. Is this to write one or read one?

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Apparently while Christine O’Donnell says she attended Oxford, it turns out it was a summer program sponsored by the Phoenix Institute, which wasn’t connected with the University. So it’s a stretch to say she studied at Oxford. Of course, George W. Bush did actually attend both Yale and Harvard.

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Justin Bieber is featured on the cover of Teen Vogue, where he is interviewed about how he feels about his fans. One thing he asks those fans – “Don’t come up to me while I’m eating.”

Apparently it’s been a whole year since he was able to finish a whole Happy Meal in peace.

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Robin Williams has come out with an ad-endorsement for Barbara Boxer. Makes sense that comedians are getting involved in this year’s election cycle. Some of the candidates if elected could wind up seriously competing with their acts.
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Magic numbers?

September 28, 2010

With six games to go, SF Giants magic number is 6. L.A. Dodgers magic number is 18.

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Tonight, temperamental Chicago hurler Carlos Zambrano stepped up big time and the Cubs hung on for a 1-0 win over the San Diego Padres. Grateful Giants fans are considering sacrificing a water cooler in Zambrano’s honor.

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The SF Giants, one of the most “offensively-challenged” teams in baseball, will play the similarly afflicted San Diego Padres this weekend, with the NL Western Division title probably on the line. This could be the first MLB playoff spot ever decided by penalty kicks.

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Sad story about the owner of the Segway company falling off a cliff while riding one of his machines. Sad, really. But I defy anyone to read the story without at least trying to stop giggling.

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Georgia Bulldogs freshman linebacker Demetre Baker, 19, was jailed this weekend in Athens on DUI and underage alcohol possession charges.

This makes him the 10th football player from the University arrested this year. On a brighter note, Georgia announced they officially are now running the NCAA’s best NFL preparedness program.

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For Canadian football fans – The cellar-dwelling Winnipeg Blue Bombers are actually a .500 team at home, but are winless in their six away games. In fact, they might have the worst record on the road since George Michael.

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Braylon Edwards was arrested last week for DUI, with a alleged blood alcohol level over twice the legal limit. Jets coach Rex Ryan suspended him for ONE quarter, saying he thought Braylon had “suffered enough.” And Edwards caught a 67-yard touchdown catch that the team beat the Dolphins 31-23 Sunday. Yeah, that’ll teach him.

(If he’d injured or killed someone in an accident wonder if Ryan would have suspended him for a whole half?)
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While Michael Douglas’ sequel to “Wall Street” was the number one movie last week, it still put up disappointing numbers after mostly mediocre reviews. Apparently while “Money Never Sleeps,” the audience might doze off.

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As the Denver Nuggets try to unload a disgruntled Carmelo Anthony, Anthony is perhaps trying to salvage his reputation by insisting, “I’ve never said I wanted to be traded. I never once said anything about trade talk.”

Indeed, a trade means someone else gets to choose. Carmelo just wants to play where HE wants to play. Wonder if he’s already trying working out a deal for an ESPN special.

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from Bill Littlejohn: “Stanford’s FB/LB Owen Marecic became the first player to score both ways at Notre Dame since a 1976 campus visit by David Bowie.”
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Rough day for the 49ers, Raiders and Chargers. Who’d a thunk that the best football team in California this year might turn out to be Stanford?

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Christine O’Donnell wants us to believe that she is a different person from the woman who made all those crazy quotes in the past. But since people really don’t tend to change all that much as they get older, seems like electing her would just result in “The New Adventures of Old Christine.”

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The once and future King?

September 24, 2010

Larry King visited the set of SNL this week and apparently asked about being a guest host. While they were intrigued, the show’s producers said they were actually moving more in the direction of younger trendy hosts like Betty White.

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Katy Perry was bounced off Sesame Street for being too slutty. This is not good for Miss Piggy.

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All this talk from Jerry Brown and Meg Whitman about what they’ll do if elected. But what about the issue that seems to be uppermost on Californians minds- do either of them have a plan to fix Lindsay Lohan?

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Another television clip has surfaced of Christine O’Donnell, this time in 2003 when she vowed to stop unmarried Americans from having sex. Well, at least this won’t hurt her with that all-important Tea Party Trekkies contingent.

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The San Francisco Giants’ pitching staff has now allowed 3 runs or fewer in 18 straight games, a modern day record, eclipsed only by the dead ball era – 1916 NY Giants and the 1917 Chicago White Sox.

Even more amazing, Giants pitchers are doing it without benefit of pitching against their own lineup.

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First a little background on the next thought. At Coors Field the Rockies some years back started putting baseballs in a humidor, like they use for cigars, to make them moister and heavier. This after years of softball scores. The humidor works as the moist balls are heavier and don’t fly off the bat like a normal baseball left out in the dry mile-high air.

All well and good, but in the past few years, the Rockies have been putting up incredible numbers at home, especially in September. And one theory, which I subscribe to, is that just maybe they are putting some of those dried-out balls into the game, particularly late or when they are behind.

One Rockies spokesman said it wouldn’t happen due to the “integrity of the game,” (right, baseball has the longest history of cheating of maybe any major sport, from stealing signs to corked bats to pretending to be hit by a pitch.)

Anyway, my son told me tonight that there was video of Tim Lincecum asking for a new baseball and his lips clearly said “blanking juiced ball.”

Of course, it could be his imagination. And baseball is a mind game. Or maybe not.

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Another television clip has surfaced of Christine O’Donnell, this time in 2003 when she vowed to stop unmarried Americans from having sex. Well, at least this won’t hurt her with that all-important Tea Party Trekkies contingent.

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Carly Fiorina’s latest commercial is all about Barbara Boxer asking a general to call her “Senator” rather than “M’am” during a congressional hearing. Good to see Fiorina is really focused on the crucial issues facing California.

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Reader Gary Morton commented on the idea of Sarah Palin being elected president (Hey, who thought W. could ever be elected…) But if it happened, which 2 years of her term would she choose to serve

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A woman in Montana got a bear to run out of her garden by throwing zucchini at the animal. Assume the bear was a teenager. (Although personally I avoid zucchini myself.

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Payouts and payback

September 21, 2010

Apparently Los Angeles created only 55 jobs with $110 million in stimulus money. Big deal, Meg Whitman is trying to create only one job with $150 million of her own money.

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Actual verbatim headline on SI.Com after tonights 49ers-Saints game. “Bush on crutches after injurying leg in fourth quarter.”

Is there something about the name “Bush” that is incompatible with the English language?

(Michael Duca’s response, “Men can’t think properly in the presence of the word.)

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Here’s hoping Reggie Bush’s injury isn’t career ending, but for all those who talk about “God’s Will,” maybe God thought it was time for a little karmic payback after all the media fawning over Bush’s “doing the right thing” regarding returning the Heisman?
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Christine O’Donnell now says if she WERE a witch, Karl Rove would be a supporter of hers. No, if she was really a witch, those clips would have vaporized, and Bill Maher would be living on a lilypad in a pond.

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Ohio University has apologized to Ohio State and its fans after the school’s Bobcat mascot tackled the Buckeye’s Brutus mascot. Meanwhile, after the school’s 43-7 loss to OSU, Ohio coach Frank Solich has recruited the Bobcat to play defense.
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Watching Brett Favre being interviewed yesterday after the Vikings loss, seemed like both he and Lindsay Lohan have a problem in knowing when to quit.

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Bristol Palin, who claims she now wants to be a cautionary role model for young women to be abstinent, made her first appearance on “Dancing with the Stars” Monday. Yeah, magazine covers, network talk shows, and now a reality show. That should show girls that it’s not a glamorous life being a single mother.

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New York Republican candidate Carl Paladino, said recently that Manhattan is “home to smug, self-important, pampered liberal elitists.”

Not necessarily true, Yankee Stadium is in the Bronx.

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Meanwhile, in California, Meg Whitman is continuing her campaign to win the vote of all smug, self-important pampered conservative elitists.

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Former CEO Mark Hurd has reached an agreement with HP to settle their lawsuit. Hurd will give up the stock portion of his severance and HP will “allow” him to work for Oracle. So he will only get $12 million cash severance and a new $11 million a year package at Oracle. Yeah, that’ll teach him.

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Is she a good witch, or a bad witch?

September 19, 2010

Delaware Senate candidate Christine O’Donnell said on Bill Maher’s “Politically Incorrect” show in 1999 that she had “dabbled in witchcraft.” Hmm, maybe now we know how she came out of nowhere to win the Republican primary.

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So much for all those Republicans who thought the only politician who rode around on a broom was Hillary Clinton.

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And you have to wonder, Maher says he has more clips from the show, which he will show unless O’Donnell agrees to come back on this year.

So if “witchcraft” was the first clip he released….what’s he saving for later?

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Lindsay Lohan failed at least one drug test this week. Now, clearly the woman is an addict, but with as much money as she has to afford help and support, and KNOWING she is tested daily, at some point isn’t a failed drug test a failed IQ test?

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Congrats to C.C. Sabathia, the first pitcher in the majors to win 20 games. He attributes it to hard work, throwing strikes and being supported by the Yankees lineup.

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Hollywood columnist James Bacon, 96, died today after a 75 year career. He might have been the last person who remembered what Joan Rivers’ real face actually looked like.

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The Cal Bears scheduled an early season football game with WAC member Nevada, hoping that a lopsided win would offset playing such a weak opponent in the polls. The result, a 52-31 LOSS to the Wolfpack in Reno. Just goes to show, it’s never that smart an idea to gamble in Nevada.

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So Senator Lisa Murkowski, who said she would abide by the will of the voters if she lost the Republican primary, has changed her mind and will run as a write-in candidate. What is it up in Alaska that no one thinks the regular rules about when to leave office or quit apply to them?

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Hua Mei, the first giant panda born in the United States (at the San Diego Zoo.), is back in China where she has now given birth to her eighth cub. Wonder if “Hua Mei” translates to “Octopanda?”

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Stanford 68 – Wake Forest 24. Well, looks like San Francisco Bay Area football fans have at least one professional looking offense to watch this season.

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Although to be fair, Wake Forest also gave up 48 points in a 52-48 win over Duke last week. Fans in North Carolina haven’t been this disappointed by scoring since John Edwards annnounced he had fathered a “love child.”

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