Archive for February 2018

Star powered?

February 28, 2018

49ers say they haven’t decided what if anything to do about Reuben Foster’s arrest for domestic violence, and GM John Lynch denied the San Francisco LB was being treated differently because he’s a star.  I think I like “pushed into a lifeboat” better.

Now it’s LaMarcus Aldridge who’s hurt,  with Kawhi Leonard still out,  Pau Gasol sidelined with a bone bruise, and Danny Green barely back from bursitis.  The San Antonio Spurs aren’t just a  basketball team, they’re a season of Survivor.

Bears to release QB Mike Glennon. How long until Chicago fans look back nostalgically to the days of Jay Cutler?

That moment when Dick’s Sporting Goods is more pro-active about gun safety than Congress…

Hope Hicks is resigning. Wonder why. Doesn’t every boss ask you to tell white lies and hide the fact that your boyfriend beat his ex’s?

Good on Walmart to change their gun policy. But remember, they are only doing it so they won’t lose business to Dick’s Sporting Goods. @Dicks


Remember those days when “Fast and Furious” referred to a series of action films instead of new revelations coming out about this White House.

Are we sure @realDonaldTrump doesn’t think “Dew Process” is one of his porn star mistresses’ names?

Remember when there were so many shootings by USPS workers that we used to say “going postal?” But sure if we arm over-worked, under-paid and over-stressed teachers that would NEVER happen. #sarcasm

Feel like I should go to Dick’s Sporting Goods if the store actually sold anything I wanted to buy. Maybe they can start stocking cookies?

As long as I am the attorney general, I will continue to discharge my duties with integrity and honor & this department will continue to do its work in a fair & impartial manner according to the law and Constitution” To quote Will Farrell in one of the best Christmas movies ever  -“He’s an ANGRY elf.” #Sessions

So now that we’ve arrested a Georgia teacher fired a gun inside a classroom, what’s next? Arming janitors? Lunch ladies?

So who had Hope Hicks in Trump Resignation Bingo?

At this point it might be easier to compile a list of top Trump aides who haven’t resigned.

(my friend pat says ” This will be more fun than filling out the March madness brackets… and less corrupt.”)

Thinking back longingly to days when we comedy writers really had to struggle to make jokes with Obama in the White House.

But okay,  Trevor Noah and Samantha Bee, top this for satire – Donald Trump today: “I’m not into popularity.”


And water is wet.

February 28, 2018

LeBron James today “The NCAA is corrupt.” Then did he add “And there’s gambling in Las Vegas as well as Casablanca?”

Shaq’s son Shareef O’Neal on Tuesday committed to UCLA after decommitting from Arizona.  So he’ll be a Bruin for life. Or at least a year. Unless any of UCLA coaches were also caught on tape.

Played cold but… well:   Ross Jirgl, a Stanford football strength coach, had his 15 minutes at least when he appeared late on this season’s “The Bachelor,” trying to win his ex-girlfriend Becca back.  From Alex Kirshner of Bleacher Report.

“Ross becomes at least 6th Stanford football person to come in 2nd place in a nationally televised competition since 2009. He joins five Cardinal players who have finished second in Heisman Trophy voting in the same span.:

Tennessee Senator Bob Corker, who said he would retire, then indicated he was rethinking decision,   NOW says he will definitely retire in 2018. “Atta boy” said Brett Favre.


Hey Donald  Trump, you know who actually DID deal bravely against men with guns, and was actually shot himself? Bronze Star and Purple Heart veteran Robert Mueller.

Ivanka on #MeToo “I’m proud of women who are standing up in face of accusers with credible evidence & credible stories.” Translation of “credible” – those accusing Democrats but certainly not my father.

Can you run a Presidential re-election campaign when you’re under indictment? Asking for a country

So did Ben Carson need to spend $31k of taxpayer money on a dining room set for his office because it needed to be worthy of Donald Trump’s very best chocolate cake?


Just wondering, when Donald Trump asked Ivanka to go as senior diplomat to South Korea did she think of replying “That’s an inappropriate question to ask a daughter?” #Complicit

Regarding these idiots who think it’s funny to make fake school shooting threats. Besides jail time can they be sentenced to community service in inner-city emergency rooms where they treat a lot of gunshots?

Turn out the flame…

February 26, 2018

Olympics are over.    Now Americans can go back to not caring about curling stones and triple salchows.


Atlanta Falcons’ 4th quarter in Super Bowl 50 was most embarrassing moment for many Georgians in recent memory. Georgia politicans today with Delta – “Hold our beer.”

About the only way Delta could be getting better PR is if they dragged Scott Pruitt out of first class on one of their planes.

Must say, NRA & their supporters are doing the bigliest & best job of public relations for US airlines.

NFL suing Jerry Jones for millions of dollars over court costs with Ezekiel Elliott’s suspension and Roger Goodell’s contract.    Oh this senseless billionaire-on-billionaire violence….

Sweet words in San Antonio, Kawhi Leonard will start working out with the team this year.

Some US middle & high schools are saying that for safety reasons students can’t carry standard backpacks. Fear itself is winning.

Ivanka Trump thinks questions on women accusing her father is inappropriate because she’s a daughter. But it’s not inappropriate her father put her in senior diplomatic role just because she’s a daughter?

Trump “I really believe I’d have run in there even if I didn’t have a weapon.” NOW is there anyone who believes he doesn’t have dementia?

So the President who says he’d have run into a school to face a teenage shooter is still afraid to sit down for questions with a 73-year-old man? #Mueller

Trump has such a hard time w/ truth. Even if he truly believes he wouldn’t be a coward against a shooter, he should have said he’d have his caddy drive him into that school.

A shooter bent on murder? Hell, we all know Trump wouldn’t even confront Dick Cheney with a gun.

Trump reportedly wants to appoint his private pilot head of the FAA. So what next? Trying to appoint his daughter as a senior foreign diplomat?

Trump today on NRA “Sometimes we’re going to have to be very tough & we’re going to have to fight ’em.”
If we really want Trump to take on NRA could someone get them to make a statement saying he’s a lousy President?


Too many hits?

February 25, 2018

If Donald  Trump had played college football we’d all be nodding our heads in agreement on a diagnosis of CTE.

With the increasingly depleted Spurs somehow still in third place in the West, Gregg Popovich should be coach of year. Period.   #smokeandmirrors

Shaquille O’Neal’s son, Shareef, just announced he is decommitting from Arizona. Because he just found out the program is dirty, or because they didn’t offer HIM $100,000?

Curt Schilling retweeted a conspiracy theory saying 17 yr-old Parkland survivor David Hogg is a paid crisis actor. Only charitable interpretation of this is that baseball players also can get too many concussions.

Teresa Stadlober, an Austrian cross-country skier, lost a silver medal when she took a wrong turn during a 30km race. Wait, I thought it was men that wouldn’t ask for directions.



LeBron James, complaining about not getting foul calls in loss to Spurs – “We’re at a point now where we protect the shooter more than the driver.”
Maybe he should stick to politics?

Canadian ski crosser David Duncan, along with his trainer and wife were arrested for alleged DUI in a stolen vehicle in South Korea. Know Canada is doing well with medals but maybe trying too hard to prove they are equal of American athletes.

Meanwhile,  USA has won gold in #Curling Let’s hope this isn’t a sign of the apocalypse.


Pistons coach Stan Van Gundy called NCAA “one of the worst organizations” in sports. Why stop at “in sports?”

Trump on his proposed military parade “We’ll see if we can do it at a reasonable cost. If we can’t, we won’t do it.”
What, he didn’t say Mexico would pay for it?

United Airlines and Delta have now cut off discounts for #NRA. How bad is it when you have a worse reputation in the US than airlines?

Donald Trump mocked John McCain yesterday. So let’s see, now it’s people with terminal cancer. How long until he goes directly after a Parkland survivor?

Imagine GOP reaction if a President @HillaryClinton sent Chelsea over to South Korea to “shore up diplomatic relations?”


Asked in Korea if her father’s idea of arming teachers would work to protect students Ivanka Trump responded “To be honest, I don’t know.”
Six words Donald has never spoken.


Frustrating as a Democrat that we call out extremist Republicans like #CPACbut then often put in our own litmus tests that punish moderates.  #DianneFeinstein


But let’s be real about Feinstein. Democrats not endorsing her means simply that she didn’t get a majority of 2700 activists at state party convention. The Democratic convention isn’t CPAC, but it’s also not a sampling of mainstream Democrats.

Here’s what I really don’t get about political litmus tests. None of us agree with our spouses, partners, or even friends on all issues. So why do some of us demand our politicians agree with us on everything? #HowToLoseElections


You can’t make it up….

February 24, 2018

The Russian bobsled pilot who wore ‘I don’t do doping’ T-shirt just failed his Olympic doping test.


Adam Rippon says that now Olympic skating is done, said he would “totally” talk with Pence by phone. OK,  VP Pence now that it’s not just a photo op, where’s YOUR profile in courage?

Canada is having one of their best Winter Olympics ever. Imagine if Team Canada had only done a little better in country’s secondary sports like curling and ice hockey.

So instead of the usual March Madness pools will this be the year millions of Americans start playing NCAA men’s basketball sanctions bingo?

If we need any more proof that mental illness can affect people from all walks of life, #JonathanMartin has Harvard-educated parents & is a Stanford graduate.

If “The 15:17 to Paris” & this week in Parkland taught us nothing else it’s that true courage and heroism isn’t about having a gun in your hands.

Trump at #CPAC – An armed teacher would have “shot the hell” out of the Florida killer. An armed teacher? Heck, an armed DEPUTY didn’t “shoot the hell” out of the gunman.

So Cadet Bone Spurs thinks the deputy at Florida high school was a “coward?”.#whythereisnosatire

Newly introduced bill in Florida would require public schools to display the motto “In God We Trust.” Right, because shootings happen because God doesn’t think we trust Him enough? #WTF?


Important to remember, companies who are breaking off relations with NRA aren’t doing it to be warm and fuzzy….
They are doing it because they know the NRA does not speak for a majority of Americans & they will gain more business than they lose.

That moment when Trump’s deputy campaign manager Rick Gates has pleaded guilty to conspiracy and it’s not even number one story on the news cycle. #Newabnormal



Gold mettle?

February 23, 2018

Mirai Nagusu, US figure skater, who finished 10th after a strong free-skating program: “I smiled in the middle of my program. It is really rare for me but I enjoyed myself & I thought of this as my audition” for Dancing with the Stars.

Beam me up Scotty….

If the #Olympics has to use shootouts for GOLD MEDAL hockey games, what’s next? MLB deciding extra inning World Series games with home run derbies?

Justin Trudeau tweeted congratulations to Canadian women’s hockey team last night after they ended up losing the gold medal in a shoot-out.

Trump tweeted congratulations to the US this morning. Wonder who told Donald the USA had a women’s hockey team?

Amazon is expanding their cashierless Amazon Go stories this year, to at least six locations. But yeah, immigrants are the problem for American workers…..

Cinemark theaters  banning bags larger than 12″ by 12″ by 6″ in their movie theaters, reportedly for security. Uh, plenty of guns would be no problem. Women’s purses on the other hand….

(But just guessing this is less about weapons than concealed snacks.)


So if we are going to turn teachers into police officers are we going to PAY them like police officers?


More people were killed at Pulse and at Mandalay Bay than Parkland. So shall we start arming nightclub and casino patrons? Maybe give them a little bit of a bonus discount on their drinks?

Trump talks about coaches “who I guarantee have plenty of experience with guns.” So WTF was going on with his USFL team?

Trump now saying “I’m thinking about” pulling ICE out of California. Promise?


More Trump on armed teachers – “I want my schools protected just like I want my banks protected.” Because we know armed guards have stopped all bank robberies?


Mueller files new 32-count indictment against Manafort and Gates for tax evasion and bank fraud. Well, that’s how they got Al Capone.

Missouri Gov. Eric Greitens arrested for felony invasion of privacy over allegedly taking nude picture of his mistress & using it to try to blackmail her. Well, if he has to step down sure Greitens can get job offer at White House.

“Lock her up” chants at CPAC? Next thing you know they’ll be calling for the impeachment of President Hillary Clinton.

So is all this GOP insanity about armed teachers really part of a bigger plot to get all Americans to home-school their kids?


Gold and goaled.

February 22, 2018

Kawhi Leonard may be out for year. Damn, as a liberal Spurs fan I miss days when that would be most depressing news of the week.

Although if Spurs end up 3rd seed in West without Kawhi, Popovich should be a unanimous coach of the year.

Don’t care who wins, shootouts are still a sucky way to determine a hockey gold medal.

But seriously, these women have worked for years to make it to Olympics.   For a gold medal they can’t let them play until someone scores a REAL goal in overtime?

Mikaela Shiffrin brought 35 pairs of skis to Olympics.  Ah, but how many pairs of shoes did she bring?


Billy Graham prayed with every President since Truman during their presidency. Except Donald Trump. Why I am not surprised?

That moment when the President of the United States needs a cue card to pretend to be human…


At least Marco Rubio did the CNN Town Hall without cue cards.

The kids are more than alright. The kids are damn impressive. #ParklandStudentsSpeak

So would Right-wing trolls please explain how they think high school kids aren’t old enough to advocate for gun control but they are old enough to buy AR-15s?

Florence Yared, 17 yr-old Parkland survivor to Congress “Soon we will be able to vote, and we will vote you out.” You go girl!

Trump today “If you had a teacher who was adept with firearms, they could end the attack very quickly.” Could those armed teachers start with the attack on the education budget?

So maybe we can take a lead from Betsy Devos and protect schools with trained grizzly bears? #Beararms

NRA’s Dana Loesch says you should be able to buy any gun you want “if you are not a danger to yourself or your community.” The Vegas shooter didn’t seem like a danger. Until he was….

Marco Rubio has 2 teenage & 2 pre-teen children. Yeah, I’m an optimist but it seems like maybe these kids got to him tonight. #StudentsStandUp

While Texas superintendent threatens to suspend students from class 3 days for protesting gun violence, kids in Parkland have missed 5+ days of class because their school is an active crime scene.

Donald Trump wants teachers to bravely take on shooters in schools….while he’s not even brave enough to take on media at press conferences