Archive for April 2011

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The ring’s the thing.

April 10, 2011

So on a night that the SF Giants get their rings, Barry Bonds, tainted by allegations of cheating, is conspicuously absent.   But the Giants give a ring to Hall of Famer Gaylord Perry.

 

A little more irony on a Bonds-free celebration night at A T and T park. The game winning hit came from Miguel Tejada. Who in 2009 pled guilty in federal court to lying to  Congress about his knowledge of other players using steroids. (And admitted using them himself.)

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The San Jose Sharks have wrapped up the number two seed  in the playoffs.  Of course, with the team’s playoff history isn’t this like having a first class berth on the Titanic.

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After three rounds in the Masters, no American is higher than eighth place. (Bo Van Pelt.)   It’s not just that golf no longer has Tiger Woods as a superstar, but the game is turning into soccer.

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Yes, it’s still early, but these are tough times for baseball fans in Boston. Even Cubs fans are sending sympathy notes.

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Tiger Woods has had problems with a number of short putts today at the Masters. Which seems particularly strange to long-time Tiger watchers. It’s never been a problem for Woods putting it into a lot of holes.

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An Alaska Airlines flight bound for Hawaii turned around and landed safely in Sacramento when a bird struck an engine. Beginning to wonder how long it will be until PETA comes out against air travel as being dangerous for birds.

 

Glad that a government shutdown was avoided. But in that list of “non-essential employees,” how did they not include Congress?

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While Liberals are generally not thrilled with the budget compromises, Tea Party members are so annoyed with Speaker of the House John Boehner, who they believe sold out their principles, that they are talking about a primary challenger for him.

Somewhere,  Nancy Pelosi must be giggling.

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Giants baseball – a violation of the Geneva convention?

April 9, 2011

Okay, Giants’ fans expected torture.   But couldn’t we have waited until at least the second home game of the season?

 

(It wasn’t just Brian Wilson’s two-out, two strike blown safe.  Like for example 17 men left in on base, and without two double plays and a caught stealing, it would have been 20.

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Due to a rain delay in San Diego, at midnight Pacific time, the Dodgers-Padres Friday night game is tied 2-2 going to the top of the the 7th.  Which has to have caused some really confusing situations – some visiting Dodger fans fans may have arrived for the beginning of the game, and left after the third inning.

 

The media reports are  that Manny Ramirez is retiring just because he got a second positive drug test that would have resulted in a 100 game suspension. Manny’s response -” Please, I prefer to think of it as an extended maternity leave.”

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Actually Ramirez’s short term Tampa Bay Rays teammates bear him no ill-will. The team plans to throw him a combination farewell party and baby shower.

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And on the field, Tampa Bay rallied with a five run ninth, to win their first game of the season, 9-7 over the Chicago White Sox.   Wow, you’d think a really heavy and big weight had been lifted out of their clubhouse.

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And as an aside. Manny was hitting .059 (one for 17 )for the season at the time of his retirement. So much for the efficacy of Performance Enhancing Drugs.

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Okay, here’s a thought to avoid potential shutdown dramas. Tie Congress’s salaries to getting a budget done on time, 30 days before the deadline. For every day they miss that goal, their salaries are docked about 3 percent, down to almost nothing as they approach the last minute. Just might motivate some of these ideologues.

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Either that or make it like American Idol.  For every day after a certain deadline that Congress doesn’t get a budget done, America gets to vote and one congressperson gets sent home each day.

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Former Arkansas governor, Mike Huckabee,  a devout Christian who is staunchy  pro-life/anti choice,  said Friday Republicans should abandon their crusades against National Public Radio and Planned Parenthood, and get a budget passed. You know it’s a strange time when the guy who believes humans coexisted with dinosaurs was the voice of reason for the Republican party.

 

 

Earlier Friday the Republicans and Democrats had agreed on everything to avert a shutdown except whether or not to give $300 million for Planned Parenthood. Now, personally, I’m pretty adverse to giving BILLIONS to Halliburton in no-bid contracts, but wouldn’t want to shut down the government over it.

 

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Loserville:

April 8, 2011

The Cubs have started 3-3. But at Wrigley Field the attendance on Monday was 26,292, the lowest since 2002. Normally there aren’t so many empty seats at Wrigley until the whole place is empty in October.

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Natalie Portman said in an interview “I’m too old to be a stoner.”
“Speak for yourself, honey,” responded Willie Nelson.

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Donald Trump has declared bankruptcy three times, now he’s so concerned about President Obama’s birth that he says he’s sent a team of investigators to Hawaii “in hopes of getting to the bottom of the issue.” And this is the man who hopes to convince Americans he should be the one to oversee government spending?

Regarding “The Donald’s” potential presidential bid, Bill Cosby told Meredith Vieira on the “Today” show that Trump should “run or shut up.” Some of us wish he would do both.

 

The 2011 Boston Red Sox payroll is over $161 million, and the team is 0-6. With that kind of pay to performance ratio the Sox should be the official team of the U.S. Congress.

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The trip to Italy for the cast of Jersey Shore has been postponed. Many things apparently have to be negotiated first. Including America’s non-aggression pact with Italy.

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For those who wonder, how could Lebron James have grown up so clueless and self-absorbed,  here’s a story: Lebron’s mother was arrested by Miami Beach police after she reportedly assaulted a valet because it was taking too long to have her car delivered.

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Bill Littlejohn, with a variation on the above  incident.   LeBron James has become a minority owner of Liverpoll FC..  Scotland Yard had this reaction:  “Soccer hooligans, we can handle. Just tell him to please don’t bring his mother.”

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President Obama said Wednesday night there was “no reason” not to come to a deal and avoid a budget shutdown. Alas, when in recent memory has reason had anything to do with it?

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Once again, how can you write a punchline? And how can you make stuff like this up? Fox News hose Bill O’Reilly, talking about potential budgets cuts for “non-vital” programs: “Nodody’s life is affected by NPR. Nobody’s life is affected by Planned Parenthood. These are options.”  (Yes, he said this.)

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Augie’s comment about Ann Coulter coming to San Francisco.  Wonder if she’ll be speaking  at the
Y-M-C-A.?   I hear there’s a run on the Village People costumes. “

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Slow starts.

April 7, 2011

Not to say that they’re panicking in Boston yet.  But the Globe is considering putting Red Sox box scores in the obituary section.

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According to the San Francisco Chronicle, Ann Coulter is coming to the city this August for a fundraiser for a Young Republicans group. Makes sense, San Francisco has always been hospitable to female impersonators.

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The Tampa Bay Rays are now 0-5. In four of those losses, the team had exactly one run and four hits. In fact, the Rays are having such a hard time scoring they got a sympathy card from the Butler Bulldogs.

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Manny Ramirez says of being booed already by Rays fans “It’s all good. I liked it.” If that’s true Manny is going to have a very happy year in Tampa Bay.

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Congress is considering a law, sponsored by Utah Republican Jason Chaffetz,that would make it tougher for small wineries to sell by mail to out-of-state clients. So GOP proponents who want government out of our lives are now making an exception for our wine cellars as well as our bedrooms.

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For anyone who watched the NCAA men’s basketball tournament and thought. “the quality of play really sucks”, here’s a scary stat. There are 60 players on NBA rosters with college eligibility remaining. (And that doesn’t count D-leagues, teams in Europe, or kids who have already washed out after leaving school early.)

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Marc Ragovin said it was “the ugliest final since Snooki took calculus.”

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For fans of bad basketball, along with anyone who hasn’t gotten over VCU being included in the NCAA tournament, I give you – the Indiana Pacers. 35-43, and close to clinching a playoff spot.

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Not saying Tiger Woods isn’t really ready for the Masters Championship.  But last weekend he was seen practicing with the Butler Bulldogs.

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One of Bristol Palin’s entourage says that $262,500 she made just as a teen-pregnancy education ambassador for the Candies Foundation is “not out of the ordinary for a celebrity.” Fair enough, but just what qualifies Bristol as a celebrity other than her role in a real life version of “Knocked Up?”

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The new Pac 12 (the Pac 10 plus Utah and Colorado), is looking to sign a television contract for $220 million. Can’t imagine how these student-athletes get the idea it’s all about the money.

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If we DO have a government shutdown, let’s sure hope we don’t have any earthquakes while it happens. Just for the record, USGS employees would not only be furloughed, they would be forbidden from working without pay during a shutdown. Or even from talking to the media. But we could never have a major quake here in the U.S., right?

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Bad games and bad guys.

April 6, 2011

NFL commissioner Roger Goodell says the league will insist their next labor deal includes testing for HGH. Well, why not? Their  steroid testing is going so well…

Sigh. At least now a player can’t go to the Pro Bowl in the same year as they get a steroid suspension.

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Brought to my attention by my friend Richard Kronish. Rutgers is paying Nobel Laureate Toni Morrison $30,000 to give their commencement speech. The Rutgers student organization paid $32,000 for “Snooki” to speak last week.

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Prosecutors in the Barry Bonds perjury trial failed in their bid to get a “recently discovered” audio tape of a alleged conversation between two key witnesses heard by the jury.

Leaving aside guilt or innocence, (and yes, I think Bonds knew what he was taking) I don’t think Judge Ito would have allowed a “recently discovered” tape, even of a confession, heard by the jury in the last days of the O.J. trial.

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“One and done” is the term fans use to describe the phenomenon of basketball players going to college and then leaving for the NBA one year later. “One and done” also describes the reaction of any fan of other sports who tuned in last night to watch their first NCAA men’s basketball final.

 

Not to say last night’s NCAA men’s basketball final was bad. But James Naismith is reportedly spinning in his grave.

 

There is some talk that due to recruitment violations, UConn may have to eventually give up their national championship. The game was so ugly, Coach Jim Calhoun is thinking of telling the NCAA – “Just take it, we don’t want the darn thing anyway.”

 

Regarding the NCAA’ women’s championship

As a Stanford fan it was fun to watch Notre Dame lose. But have to figure the Cardinal women’s team watched tonight and realized that yes, they did let a great chance for a national championship slip away.

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And watching some of the game, you had to figure either Texas A & M or Notre Dame would have matched up well with Butler or UConn.

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Kirstie Alley and her “Dancing with the Stars” partner took a tumble during the show tonight. Wonder what it registered on the Richter scale?

 

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Well, at least he’s consistent. Newt Gingrich called for the impeachment of Bill Clinton while he was cheating on his own wife. Now Newt is complaining that President Obama is trying to “extort contributions” by announcing his reelection bid so early. Gingrich raised about $15 million himself last year….

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53 to 41.

April 5, 2011

Connecticut may be getting the congratulatory phone call from President Obama.   But the way Butler was shooting, they should be getting a call from Dick Cheney.

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Butler’s performance might have been the worst ever in a national championship game. Fortunately, UConn’s was only the second worst.

Good thing this final NCAA game started at about 930p Eastern time; impressionable children should not be have been watching.

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This could have been the first NCAA men’s basketball championship decided by penalty kicks.

 

In fact, at some points things got so bad sports fans were watching recorded World Cup highlights, just to see some scoring.

 

 

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After this game,  Butler coach Brad Stevens had to be thinking “I need a stiff drink.”    Too bad he’s not old enough to legally buy one.

Stanford women have to wish they played UConn or Butler men instead of Texas A & M last night…

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How bad was the show?  Kept expecting to watch James Franco take over the announcing.

Hard to believe after about a month of excitement and drama, that after tonight’s  UConn-Butler game, men’s college basketball will be done until next fall. But fans of amateur talent will still have the Cavaliers and the Wizards.

From Michael Duca,  “My son points out something the California Golden Bears can be proud of: they were one of only two football teams to hold the University of Oregon to fewer points than Butler scored tonight!”

Coach Shaka Smart has turned down a job offer from N.C. State and signed an eight-year contract to stay with the Rams. Well, if nothing else, based on results, VCU has a better basketball program..

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Back to baseball:    The  Baltimore Orioles are 4-0? So for right now that’s “O”s as in “OMG.

Well, maybe they’re not quite as up-to-the-minute as they think: Just heard this driving home on the radio – “Stay tuned to KNBR for all the latest Giants’ news from spring training.”

Some comments don’t even need a punchline. According to CNN, the owner of the Gulf of Mexico oil rig that exploded last year, killing 11 workers and leading to what has been called the worst oil spill ever, said Monday that calling 2010 its “best year” in safety “may have been insensitive.”

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Finally getting to the finals:

April 4, 2011

Stanford women picked a bad game to start shooting free throws like men.

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And who had the UConn men in the finals, and the UConn women watching at home?

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Rough time to be an ESPN executive with women’s basketball, all the hype (and already canned segments) about a Stanford-UConn rematch, and the network ends up with Texas A & M-Notre Dame?

And changing over to baseball:-

Okay,  Giants fans, it’s too soon to panic.  But maybe Aubrey Huff needs a fielding thong.

Although for anyone reading too much into MLB’s first weekend, let’s see-  the Royals are in first place, and one of the only undefeated teams left in baseball are the Baltimore Orioles?

Oh yeah,  and the Red Sox are winless.

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The Yankees are now claiming that injured lefthanded reliever Pedro Feliciano was “abused” by the Mets during the four years he pitched for them.  Not true, responded the Mets, the only people we abuse are our fans.

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Meanwhile, the third member of the Oakland Raiders was arrested this off-season.  So lockout or no lockout the team is clearly in midseason form.

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And the most recent arrest of  Raiders wide receiver  Louis Murphy, was for illegal possession of a drug without a prescription, and the drug was Viagra.  Think when the team actually gets back in the locker room he may hear one or two jokes about “performance enhancing drugs?”

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New Southwest slogan:  “Flying that’s all it’s cracked up to be?”

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“Hop”  was the clear box office winner this weekend.  It might be the highest grossing bunny movie of all time, at least without Hugh Hefner involved.

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A 74 year old in San Diego stabbed his neighbor because he said the neighbor’s dogs were harrassing his kittens. Well, I suppose it’s a twisted sign of gender equality. Now we have a crazy cat man.

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Apparently  the reviews were terrible for Charlie Sheen’s first two “Torpedo of Truth,” shows, with many people simply walking out.  But maybe fans who bought tickets should have figured this – after all, a torpedo really is a kind of bomb.

From Bill Littlejohn:  “Well,  Jalen Rose, who had already been called on the carpet for his rants against Duke, has been pulled from ESPN after a DUI arrest.  Looks like Rose has gone from the ‘Fab Five’ to ‘Two and a half men.'”


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Then there were two:

April 3, 2011

Monday night – Butler Bulldogs vs. Connecticut Huskies for the National Championship. Well, whichever side they choose, all sports fans can at least say they have a dog in this fight.

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Marc Ragovin’s take on the game “Huskies vs. Bulldogs, or as Michael Vick calls it, ‘winning.'”

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Headline basketball fans thought we’d never see: “Butler ends (anyone’s) Cinderella run.”

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After that 56-55 UConn – Kentucky game, a game punctuated by long scoring droughts on both sides,  looking forward to watching the women’s games tomorrow to see some teams who can actually shoot.

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Brad Stevens of Butler is unquestionably a great coach. But he looks like a grad student dressed up to interview as a math professor.

And even Buster Posey of the SF Giants says, “Stevens looks like he’s about 12.”

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Glenn Beck says Donald Trump is making him “uncomfortable” with some of the extreme things he is saying about President Obama. Isn’t being called too extreme by Glenn Beck like being called a “sleazeball” by John Edwards?

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A Florida man who said he was “tired of walking,” was arrested and charged with grand theft auto and marijuana possession. He was caught driving a Krispy Kreme truck with 388 boxes of doughnuts. The man denied the marijuana was his, but apparently the truck had started out with 500 boxes of doughnuts.

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No one was hurt in the incident where a Southwest flight made an emergency landing with a hole in the fuselage. But airline executives have thought better of running a commercial saying “Unlike our competitors, we don’t charge extra for an upgrade to a convertible.”

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The remains of two woolly mammoths have been found in a farm near Castroville. It’s an amazing discovery – the animals may date all the way back to the first Jerry Brown administration.

Jesse Ventura said Sarah Palin would be a good candidate for the GOP because she would “do what she was told,” and be “controlled by the status quo”.

Now, I’m not a particular Palin fan, but when i think of adjectives, “controllable” is not the first that comes to mind.

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After opening day.

April 2, 2011

Wonder if it’s a sign that Opening Day at Wrigley was April Fool’s Day.  Of course the real jokes is played every fall, when Cubs fans are told “Wait Until Next Year.”

Belated April Fool’s kudos to whoever drew up a Final Four bracket showing Butler and VCU in it. But maybe they should try to be a little more realistic next time?

The Chicago White Sox had a 14-0 lead, and hung on to beat the Indians 15-10 after Cleveland scored 10 runs in the last four innings. Happiest man in minor league baseball? The last relief pitcher cut by the White Sox out of spring training.

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Robert Redford actually threw out the first pitch at Wrigley. What many people don’t know is that Redford actually went to the University of Colorado in 1955 on a baseball scholarship. Wonder if he ever pitched against Jamie Moyer?

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Opening Day at Wrigley Field was yesterday! Wonder who threw out the first white flag?

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Nate Miles, the player whose recruitment helped get UConn on probation early this year, says now that coach Jim Calhoun knew about the improper benefits. With the Huskies playing Kentucky and John Calipari today, this could be a matchup between a coach who has had two teams who have vacated Final Fours and one who is about to have his first.

Arizona Governor Jan Brewer, as part of a broader package to reduce costs of Medicaid in Arizona, is proposing an annual $50 charge for patients who are obese. Which means her state may be the first where it’s easier to buy a gun than a Big Mac.

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Meghan McCain is unhappy about the upcoming movie “Game Change,” saying it will embarrass her family, especially her father.  Hard to think the movie could do a better job of that than John McCain did himself by picking Sarah Palin.

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Wizards’ rookie star John Wall will serve a one-game suspension for fighting tonight when Washington takes on the Cleveland Cavaliers. Kind of the basketball equivalent of OSU football coach Jim Tressell being suspended against Temple and Akron.

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T.C. comment on managers’ choosing their opening day pitchers.  I had the huge decision myself, “Coors, Bud Light, Michelob…

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Changing seasons:

April 1, 2011

Forget  all this equinox stuff, TODAY is the first real day of Spring. Play Ball!

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As the first pitch was thrown on Opening Day, thousands and thousands of fans were still filing into Dodger Stadium. Good to see Los Angeles fans are in mid-season form.

Orel Hershiser said during the ESPN Opening Night game that the SF Giants haven’t faced a batting practice pitcher like Kershaw. With all due respect, anyone in the Giants organization who throws like Clayton Kershaw (lefty, mid-nineties with control) won’t be throwing batting practice.

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Another discussion topic on Opening night was whether or not the Dodgers are committed to winning.  Well, Frank and Jamie McCourt are certainly committed to winning, the problem is, it’s in their divorce case against each other.

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The missing cobra from the Bronx Zoo was caught alive today. I see a made-for-television movie in our future – a combination of “Escape from New York” and “Snakes on a Plane.”

(the Cobra was located in an out of the way corner of the Reptile House.  As my friend Alex Kaseberg says, “Even cobras know it’s not safe to go outside in the Bronx.)

John Mellencamp and Stephen King are collaborating on a new musical. Let me guess, it’s not going to be produced by Disney.

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Chad Pennington (torn ACL) has now joined Zack Grienke (cracked rib) on the list of athletes who have injured themselves playing pickup basketball. Why can’t these guys follow the NBA players’ regular season regimen?:   Just don’t play that hard.

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Barry Zito’s car was broadsided by a red-light runner in Los Angeles last night. Fortunately the Giants pitcher was not seriously injured although his car was severely damaged. SF fans are hoping that’s the hardest Zito gets hit all year.  (assist to T.C.)

So the movie industry can take a perfectly lovely movie like “The King’s Speech,” and turn it into a PG13 film by cutting some off-colour language. Then why can’t they take some other top-rated films and re-release them as PG13 by cutting out some graphic and bloody violence?

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And they can’t even blame it on the butterfly ballot. A Florida PPP (Public Policy Polling) poll shows that in a hypothetical rematch, after only 2 months, Governor Rick Scott would lose to his Democratic opponent Alex Sink, 56 to 37 percent, with 16 percent of voters switching sides, INCLUDING 21 percent of Republicans.  Is there something in the water?  

(Too bad the governorship isn’t like Target, with a 90 day return policy with receipt.)

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